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Wesley Crusher: Teenage F#ck Machine
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Wesley Crusher: Teenage F#ck Machine

3.57  ·  Rating Details ·  69 Ratings  ·  19 Reviews
Wesley Crusher and Meow Solo go on a sexy and violent adventure through space!
Kindle Edition, 16 pages
Published February 15th 2012
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30)
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Bunni L'angour
Mar 06, 2012 Bunni L'angour rated it it was amazing
This is truely a fantastic parody, and should not be confused with fan-fiction of any sort. A violent and comedic take on space-operas, it may be offensive to some readers. Also, yes, Wil Wheaton is aware of this book. He says he doesn't need to read it because he has lived it.
Oct 27, 2012 Vesmé rated it it was amazing
...this is a thing that I have read.
Jul 23, 2014 Michael rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I can honestly say that this is the best book about Wesley Crusher, Professor James Moriarty and a cat that thinks it's Hans Solo I have ever read. It's worth many times more than I paid for it and I barely begrudge the few minutes it took me to read that I would have otherwise wasted merely emptying my bowels in any case. I await the sequel (or in fact, any other free book that only takes a few minutes to read) with a tightly clenched sphincter.
Mar 06, 2012 Martel rated it liked it
So many layers to this saga. Is this great satire or poor fan fiction? I'm leaning towards the former. My husband is a long time hater of Wesley Crusher, so I read the best bits to him. He was properly horrified.
Jun 25, 2014 Devi rated it did not like it
I chose this for my book club to read this month because the reviews were good and it sounded like a fun read. It's not. I have no idea what the other reviewers saw in this hastily written piece of crap. I can't even put into words how underwhelming this story is. It wasn't even good enough to be bad, if that makes sense. It's that painfully dull kind of bad. Everything about the story felt rushed and disjointed. With a lot of books like this you can tell the author isn't taking any of it seriou ...more
Peter Derk
My favorite things about this:

1. Moriarty is in the holodeck and shoots Captain Picard in the balls with a pistol.

2. A borg ship pulls up behind Wesley Crusher' And the borg ship is blaring its headlights at Crusher, so he grabs a nearby football and spirals that shit directly into one of the Borg headlights. I thought Wesley Crusher was a wuss, but maybe I'm thinking of that dweeb from SeaQuest.

3. I think Wesley Crusher's buddy in this is a cat-man Han Solo, but that was never totally c
Jeph Lewis
May 22, 2012 Jeph Lewis rated it it was amazing
This book is magic. Pure, unadulterated magic. It's like if Fifty Shades of Grey was written by someone who wasn't an utter hack.

Magic. Simply the greatest work of literature since "No Shit, There I Was" by Varric Tethras.
bat bat
Mar 22, 2013 bat bat rated it it was amazing
i have never read anything in my life that so thoroughly warped my ability to comprehend reality. i laughed until i drooled. what the fuck is this even oh my god i love it.
Mar 15, 2012 Rachel rated it it was amazing
The single greatest piece of TNG fan fiction I have ever read. Maybe the cast can get together and film this as a Reunion Special? Can't wait for the sequel!
May 27, 2013 Carrie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Worth every cent of the zero dollars I paid for it. My favorite part is when Wesley throws a football into the Borg cube's headlights.
Marjorie Smith
Sadly not worth it

Mostly Crusher doing horrifically violent stuff. Nothing really worth reading. Nothing truly sexy. Oh well, maybe next time it'll be worth it.
Bill rated it it was amazing
Jun 25, 2012
Rin rated it it was amazing
Aug 23, 2014
Caoiṁe rated it it was amazing
Aug 27, 2012
Paul J Firment
Paul J Firment rated it did not like it
May 27, 2014
Dean rated it it was amazing
Mar 09, 2012
Debbie rated it it was ok
Jul 23, 2014
Gary Reich
Gary Reich rated it it was amazing
Feb 14, 2016
Claire rated it it was amazing
Feb 26, 2013
Xavier Aubuchon-mendoza
Aug 02, 2012 Xavier Aubuchon-mendoza rated it it was amazing
an epic to stand the test of all time
Jordan rated it it was ok
Feb 20, 2013
Jul 14, 2014 FabulousRaye rated it liked it
Shelves: own-it, ebooks, 2014, omg-lol
Completely and utterly ridiculous. =D
Sep 15, 2013 Aubrey rated it it was amazing
I don't even... This is awe-inspiring.
Roksana Szczęsny
Roksana Szczęsny rated it did not like it
Oct 25, 2015
Sarah rated it it was amazing
Feb 05, 2015
Mack rated it it was ok
Mar 23, 2015
Nick Jones
Nick Jones rated it it was amazing
May 13, 2013
David Blaylock
Jul 13, 2014 David Blaylock rated it did not like it
Horrible book, funny title
May 11, 2013 Paul rated it liked it
Shelves: t
I'm not sure if this is the greatest thing ever written or the worst but interesting none the less.
Cari Steffel
Cari Steffel rated it it was amazing
Apr 17, 2016
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