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Drunk Text

3.7 of 5 stars 3.70  ·  rating details  ·  766 ratings  ·  129 reviews
Gunnar wakes up in his dorm room on a Friday in April and notices three things in rapid succession. The most pressing is a text message that says: "God, my ass hurts. I can't even sit down properly. Cheers to you. Coffee @ 1?"
Free online read, 131 pages
Published February 25th 2011
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(showing 1-30 of 1,911)
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GHOULIO™
Mar 02, 2014 GHOULIO™ rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommended to GHOULIO™ by: MostlyDelores
Shelves: novella
Grief and efficiency are not exclusive.

Nothing is as it seems. The eye-rollingly cliche genre tropes are all red-herrings in this one, to fool you into a certain perception of Gunnar that is shockingly—comprehensively—utterly wrong.

And then exploits these things so that the real story is made clear bit by bit with every jarring piece of new data that proves inconsistent with your original assumptions.

It's gloriously clever.

Demerits for various writerly/Joolzian nitpicks: (view spoiler)...more
Tiya Rosa
How To Come Across as a Well-Adjusted Baby-Gay In Order to Get So Much Ass It's Not Even Funny

1. Use bedroom voice.
2. Chuckle knowingly often.
3. Be mysterious but forthcoming.
4. Be a confident motherfucker.


If that little gem of a list does not get you to read this free online story, I have no idea what will. This book is laugh out loud funny, fan yourself sexy, and twist your heart angsty but in a good way. I went in expecting buttsex and blowjobs and MC to MC angst and left with buttsex and blo...more
Rachel
I am not a fan of the overtly confident, self- assured, college-aged asshole - in real life as well as literature. Apparently I like my assholes with some experience and maturity. Then I pick up a free online work of gay fiction and along comes Gunnar.

Gunnar is a hoot. He embodies everything I can’t stand about his stereotype. Obliviously arrogant. Obnoxiously confident. Drunk on the notion of how awesome he is. But so frigging cool. And as his inner monologue reveals his self image to the read...more
Kaje Harper
This was a treat, a free 40,000 word novella about a straight college guy who wakes up one morning with no memory of his drunken night before. But he has body paint on his chest, and a text on his phone that says "God, my ass hurts. I can't even sit down properly. Cheers to you. Coffee @ 1?".

This story is written in the present tense, which is somehow appropriate for it. Gunnar tries to believe he's cool, and in control, and can make a list of plans to get himself through anything. But finding...more
MandyM
Free online story with one of the most tempting opening paragraphs in m/m romance:

"Gunnar wakes up in his dorm room on a Friday in April and notices three things in rapid succession. The first is that he's stark naked and smeared with cracking finger paint. The second is that his roommate Jonathan is standing over him, obviously horrified. And the third is that he's holding out Gunnar's phone to show a text message that says, 'God, my ass hurts. I can't even sit down properly. Cheers to you. Cof...more
Marte is also on Leafmarks
Jul 27, 2014 Marte is also on Leafmarks rated it 2 of 5 stars
Recommended to Marte is also on Leafmarks by: Taintedskyee (Books Books&More Books)
** 2 "book"slapped stars **

This is a free online read. The story has 15 chapters.

I would hazard a guess that the author is, I don't know, inexperienced? The writing wasn't all that good, but it sort of fit with the MC's voice. So it was kind of refreshing to read something that wasn't, you know "polished" for once.

The short blurb gave me the impression that this should be a light, fluffy and fun read. And it was! Up until the end of chapter 13.

But the beginning first. The start was really funn...more
Audrey
Sep 01, 2012 Audrey rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommended to Audrey by: Moss
Fucking brilliant! Insanely quotable, literally laugh out loud funny and amusing, and was that the sting of tears in my eyes at the end? Gunnar shows so much growth in this story while still retaining his unique, hilarious, and charmingly cocky POV. Vance is a total asshat, so it's awesome and thrilling to see where their interactions and encounters lead. You'll be surprised by the full-bodied and robust story that's hidden behind the superficially self-centered narrator whom you can't help but...more
Akansha
Cute and hilarious coming of age story about an uber egotistical and previously straight college guy Gunnar who wakes up one morning to find out he had sex with a man the previous night.

It is a charming story about self discovery and romance with likeable secondary characters and a believable setting.Even though Gunnar was maddeningly frustrating at times with his cockiness and general douchbaggery (which I know was intentional), it was heartening to watch him stumble through his sexual discover...more
MostlyDelores
I laughed. A lot. Gunnar is such a self-centred, emotionally-stunted dillweed, but God! is he funny. There is even some surprising character growth underneath his superficial teflon coating.

It's in present tense, which works here because it's like sharing a cozy gossip with the author about these clueless friends of yours. Like Gunnar confessing all to his roommate, Jon, because Jon wears hipster glasses and therefore cannot be homophobic.

Or this:
"I'm going to take up archery," Gunnar tells his...more
Heather K (dentist in my spare time)
3.5 stars

I read this free online book while I was sick with a stomach virus, and it was the perfect thing to cheer me up. It is a nice, hot read and a great free book. My complaints are that the story seemed a little bipolar. At one minute very fun and carefree and then it morphed into something very serious. Not something I was expecting. I didn't fully connect with the main character and care about him on an emotional level. I still enjoyed it and I bumped up my rating a bit because it was fre...more
Ann
Aug 24, 2013 Ann rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommended to Ann by: Nico Jaye
The most fun thing I have read in a long time! Not just fun though, a little angsting in there to keep it grounded and give it some depth.

Gunnar is an amazingly cluelessly clued in narrator and I'm sure I'll have to reread it at some point soon to catch all the great little bits I may have missed.

Highly recommended - go read it now!
Emma Sea
Cute freebie. I liked the MC not going all phobic-freak out when he realised he was gay: made a nice change.
Ery
This story was everything. Awesome and sweet and funny and sad and cute and hot. Loved it!
Susan

2.5 stars...yeah, yeah...I know..."but everyone else really liked it!"...


Great concept for a book: you wake up after a night of drunken loving w/ a text saying "God, my ass hurts. I can't even sit down properly. Cheers to you. Coffee @ 1?"...oh yeah...but you're straight.

The book started off funny, went through an annoying stage, and ended sweet.

The writing was amateurish and I was undecided how I felt about the characters. Not sure if they annoyed me or if I could attach myself to them. Gunnar...more
Sandra
Mar 27, 2012 Sandra rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: anyone who likes snarky humor and M/M romance
Recommended to Sandra by: Bee
So, I stumbled over this on a friend's timeline today. It's a free story, complete, posted on Fictionpress.net. Huh, I thought, let's take a look.

I was hooked from the first chapter on. Gunnar is a college kid, a self-proclaimed ladies' man, commitment-shy and always looking for a good time. He wakes up one morning, paint all over his body, nursing a vicious hangover and sees a new text on his phone, thanking him for the previous night.

It's from a guy.

The story takes off from there and throug...more
Chris
Aug 22, 2012 Chris rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: orannia
Recommended to Chris by: MandyM
Shelves: 2012, ebook, free, gay, done, romance, reread
Very good m/m romance about a straight college student who wakes up hungover one morning covered in finger paint with a text on his phone that suggests he had sex with a guy the night before...

Apparently I need to just read everything MandyM reads. :)

Reread. I enjoyed this just as much as the first time I read it in February.
Bee
I don’t even know what to say. This story was AWESOME. I laughed like crazy, and the angst in the story was a nice balance to the sweet and fluffy and outrageously funny plot.

The main character, Gunnar, is what most people would call a selfish, heartless bastard. Thing is though…he knows he is! He’s cocky, obnoxious, full of himself, completely unable to love, and without any regards to anyone else’s feelings. He’s an ass. But he’s an incredibly lovable ass. And in this story he finally finds hi...more
Fangtasia
When I first started reading this story, I was all "huh, every time a Vance crosses the path of a Gunnar, the universe rejoices." It feels good to see an asshole get his comeuppance, doesn't it?

Well, the author manages to move way beyond that kind of trope, and into much more significant territory. Don't be fooled by the beginning of this story. Keep going, it is not what you think it is. Though the writing style and vocabulary leaves something to be desired, this is much better than a lot of pu...more
Hannah
This online fic was an enjoyable read with a lot of great humor and some very poignant moments. I loved the secondary characters, but I had trouble warming up to the main couple. I never got a good feel for Vance, and reading from Gunnar's point of view occasionally felt like reading a romance novel from the point of view of the evil ex. I was also a bit put-off by the author's love affair with sentence fragments. There were too many periods proliferating where periods don't belong. But it was s...more
SueM
Well, this really covers a range of emotions, with a least a few angst-ridden scenes, yet overall, it has some great snarky dialogue, so more often than not, I was grinning rather than crying. (Yes, I'm a wuss. *shrugs*) I really liked Gunner's evolution, but I think a little more insight into Vance's thoughts and actions would have made it a more balanced tale.
Camille
This was sooo good! The writer's voice is really funny and yet the story has depth and angst and an arc. I loved it. I especially liked the way Gunnar accepts being gay. I am so relieved to read an M/M story without "Oh my god, I'm gay?!" being the entire premise of it. It was like: wake up, realise I fucked a man, realise I liked fucking a man, realise I like the man, sort out my emotions...in rapid succession. Splendid. No freaking long pause over identity...it was more so grappling with being...more
Shannon
This story was fucking fantastic. I just took off a star because it was short and I had to read it on my computer, which I hate. Gunnar was freaking hilarious and his friends were just perfect for him. Of course Vance was dreamy! Just a really well told gay for you story with a lot of laughs, hot sex and a bit of angst. The perfect combo.
You can find it here:(I had a hard time, so I'm posting the link)


http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2894443...

Well worth the time. Highly recommend this one!!
Justin
5 stars
Yes, it's all that and then some! Go see for yourself what an incredible, outrageous, laugh-out-loud, roller coaster of a ride this is. You will NOT be disappointed.

Highly recommended, something for everyone, story!
Lauraadriana
3.5 Stars

This was kind of great. Gunnar was a fantastic character. So funny and honest. Vance was kind of an ass. But overall this was VERY FUN!
Lo-Lo
Wow.

Well this just blew me away...

This is why I love trawling the internet, stalking on GR, seeing reviews and just being introduced to the writings of practically anonymous authors on the internet. Because every so often, you find something that just reaches out and sucks you in - indulges the voyeur in you and feeds you the perfect blend of emotional angst, hardship, happiness and so on and so forth.

(view spoiler)...more
Bitchie *Bored Now*
This was really cute, funny, and FREE. Some minor editing errors, but I have seen far worse in published work lately, and it was nothing that really had me rolling my eyes, like obvious word mis-usage, more like minor typos. I do admit to being a bit confused that happy go lucky Gunnar was so hurt and out of it because of a certain loss he experienced, and it kind of felt like a different story during those parts, but it brought things around to where I wanted them to be, so I only knocked a sta...more
Trix
Jun 26, 2012 Trix rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommended to Trix by: Moss -- I will constitute the field
I started off this story not being very impressed. But by the end of it, I liked Gunnar and cheered him on.

(view spoiler)...more
Sandra
3.5 stars Gunner is such an ass, but you can't really help but love to hate to love him cuz he's just so goddamned unrepentant! Like that scene with girfirend Jessica, he's just so fuckin' full of himself, he doesn't even care! (view spoiler)...more
Emily
I loved loved this book! I haven't laughed this hard in long time. I don't know who the author visualized when writing Gunnar but the entire time I have Seann in my head playing his part.

 photo 1f3e75d6fe88a7c3b54e9e1ca8531165_zpsf355c03e.jpg  photo 23a957b38b354dc62d927c1f20ba0efd_zps9236fbf8.jpg

The books not all laughs. There some low level angst and sad *feels* but it rounded the comedy quite well!
Taintedskyee (Books Books&More Books)
I loved this short story and love it more cause I never expected it to be this good.It was funny,had some serious emotional issues,had hot sex scenes and every other aspect to put a story together was done in a short,clear and uncomplicated way.If you are a MM reader you may not find the storyline or plot new but the way its executed is very interesting.The MC Gunnar is very adorable with all the attributes needed to hold your interest.Supporting characters are as sweet as the MC itself. Recomme...more
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“It's painfully obvious to both of us that you're dangerously close to a sexless-related meltdown. And I went to Alibi last girls' night and there were plenty of straight people there, too, you know, but um. I mean, there were also lots of—"

"People!" Jon shouts, "Plenty of people. With, uh, orifices.”
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“Now listen, Gunnar," Cara is saying, "Jon told me you thought you needed to move out, but you don't have to, you know. It's not a big deal. Plus, we'll be engaged for a while before we actually get married so it's not—"

"Actually, Vance asked me to move in with him," Gunnar says, going for casual and missing it by a mile.

Cara steps back, eyebrows raised, "Wanna run that by me again?"

"Vance. He asked me to move in with him."

"And you said?"

"I said yes."

Cara lets out a shriek that sends Jon and Gunnar into a defensive crouch. "That's. Well that's fantastic, Gunnar. I didn't think you had it in you!"

"Oh, thanks so much," Gunnar says (although to be fair, even he didn't think he had it in him).”
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