Faitheist: How An Atheist Found Common Ground With The Religious by Chris Stedman

Dec 02, 2012 Ellery rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Anyone.

Recommended to Ellery by: Andrew Sullivan

While Mr. Stedman is young, which shows in his writing a bit, he is very impressive. His journey from irreligious to evangelical Christian, to tormented gay evangelical, to atheist, to interfaith activist is one many of us can relate to in a personal search for meaning.
In the wake of an election and a decade in which Americans and the world are seriously in need of some mutual understanding, his book is timely. It calls us all to be better people in service of our fellow man, and willing to eng...more

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Mar 04, 2013 Lee Harmon rated it 5 of 5 stars

Oh, man, do I relate. Here is an atheist that feels more at home in religious surroundings than with a secular community. While I’ve never considered myself an atheist (I’m happy with the phrase “agnostic Christian”), even if I were, I would hesitate to take the title. I don’t want to be known as someone who tears down rather than builds up. I have more in common with nonbelievers than fundamentalists, but I have never been able to swim in the waters of an online atheist forum without feeling qu...more Oh, man, do I relate. Here is an atheist that feels more at home in religious surroundings than with a secular community. While I’ve never considered myself an atheist (I’m happy with the phrase “agnostic Christian”), even if I were, I would hesitate to take the title. I don’t want to be known as someone who tears down rather than builds up. I have more in common with nonbelievers than fundamentalists, but I have never been able to swim in the waters of an online atheist forum without feeling queasy … like I just plain don’t belong. I’m not alone: so uncomfortable are many people with atheists that polls show them to be the least electable group in America.

Why? Why are atheists so distrusted? Enter Chris Stedman, a believer-turned-atheist who misses the goodness of Christianity, and feels happiest when he is joining the Church in the soup kitchen.

Yet, the “regular Joe” atheist is as misunderstood as anyone of any contrary belief system, insists Stedman. The problem is, when there is little familiarity, extremists become the face of a religious movement, and this is just as true of non-religion (atheism). The New Atheists have managed to monopolize the public discourse on atheism. They have succeeded in making atheism more publicly known, but at what cost?

The goal of the New Atheist movement is the total eradication of religion. Confront the religious, expose the idiocy of believing, and sneer it under the table. The antireligious rhetoric spewed by aggressive atheists is not a critique of theology, says Stedman. That, he could deal with on an intellectual level. Rather, such attacks are “based in a willful ignorance of what it actually means to be religious and of the way religious lives are lived, and turn religious people into a cheaply mocked caricature.” Chris tells of trying to fit in at an American Atheists gathering in New Jersey, which was “packed full of blasphemy sessions and speeches comparing religion to sexually transmitted diseases.” He recalls how “Witnessing the sheer vitriol some expressed toward the religious, I actually cried—hot, angry tears. I called friends of mine back home—atheists, no less—and recalled what I’d seen … One friend said to me: ‘You see, this is why I don’t want to call myself an atheist.’”

Today, says Stedman, he cannot recount the number of fellow atheists and agnostics who do not want to be associated with the movement. What has gone wrong? How did atheism sink to the level of polarized fundamentalism it claims to despise, and can the image be fixed?

Chris is trying. He suggests that the atheist movement should be more about what it does stand for than what it doesn’t. Energy spent disparaging what others believe (the New Atheism) is worse than wasteful; it’s toxic. There is no benefit in dehumanizing those with different metaphysical beliefs. Far more effective would be for atheists to promote constructive dialogue with the religious, treating them as intellectual equals. Atheism’s reputation can be rescued by reaching out, attempting to understand and empathize rather than bulldoze and mock. So, Stedman decided to walk the walk. He became the Assistant Humanist Chaplain at Harvard University, working in interfaith relations.

An atheist chaplain! Hee, hee! I doubt the New Atheists are amused, but I am in awe. This is a captivating, inspiring, must-read book, whether you are a believer or an atheist. Get it now.
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Jan 27, 2013 Socraticgadfly rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: biography, religious-study-theology

Disclosure: I am a Facebook friend of Chris.

First, I agree with his take on Gnu Atheism. Very much so.

I also agree with the idea of trying to find common ground with people of faith, though perhaps not to the degree he tries to seek it out.

Second, a relatively minor issue, but I wonder about someone this young writing a memoir. (Along with that, sorry, the book's not even 208 pages. It's 180 of body text. Kind of slim, especially at list price of 22.95.)

But, there's the more serious reasons I c...more

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Jan 21, 2013 Lauri rated it 4 of 5 stars

I had the privilege of hearing Chris Stedman speak at Lincoln School in RI, and I was so impressed with him, I immediately went out and bought his book. As a lifelong atheist, I was fascinated by Chris' story, especially the reasoning he went through when he became a "born-again Christian", and then his gradual dissatisfaction with religion in general. I, too, have been attracted to secular humanism. The thing I find most powerful about Chris is his genuine desire to connect with people of all b...more

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Jan 16, 2013 Beatnik Mary rated it 4 of 5 stars

http://www.cozylittlebookjournal.com/...
So, yes, there are times when it's obvious this is a memoir written by a twenty-five-year-old. There are passages that either read like a term paper or a diary entry. But the premis could not be more exciting to me so I overlooked it. (I felt exactly the same way about Zach Wahls' book My Two Moms.)

Chris Stedman is a gay atheist who, unlike many atheists, is not anti-religion. In fact he spent many years as a fundamentalist Christian even though it often f...more http://www.cozylittlebookjournal.com/...
So, yes, there are times when it's obvious this is a memoir written by a twenty-five-year-old. There are passages that either read like a term paper or a diary entry. But the premis could not be more exciting to me so I overlooked it. (I felt exactly the same way about Zach Wahls' book My Two Moms.)

Chris Stedman is a gay atheist who, unlike many atheists, is not anti-religion. In fact he spent many years as a fundamentalist Christian even though it often filled him with loneliness and self-loathing because of his sexuality. He studied religion in university (as did I) even as he was coming to terms with his own atheism (just like me!). He even went on to study theology at the graduate level which would essentially make him a minister if he were Christian (okay, I never did that, but I did consider studying to be a high school religious education teacher in Quebec even though I'm an atheist).

So there's a lot I can relate to personally in this book. I came to atheism from a place of religious searching and although I am critical of many aspects of religion, I still sometimes long for the community, charity and sense of sacred time that religion provides. So maybe I'm a faitheist too.

One thing I'm not sure Stedman quite got right is his portrait of atheists whom he believes are "anti-religion." He cites many examples of those atheists whose goal is to dismantle religion completely, eradicate it from society completely. Yes, I understand that this viewpoint exists, but I would argue that there are a large number of atheists who are more concerned with churches getting things like tax exemptions and government funding and then being allowed to create policies that are exclusionary and discriminatory. I think there are atheists who don't care if religion EXISTS or not, but are critical of the special status that it holds. For instance, one's "freedom of religion" is protected in all manner of laws and statutes, but most of those do not include "freedom of personal philosophy," which can impact things like being a conscientious objector during a war, etc. These are the sorts of specific issues that many atheist activists are concerned about, but Stedman paints them all with the "anti-religion" brush, which is a disservice.

Nonetheless, I am grateful to this book for being an important part of the atheist discussion, a voice for those for whom "atheist" means something other than "person who condescendingly puts down other people's religions."

I'd be curious to read the memoir he writes at fifty!

Disclaimer: I received a digital galley of this book free from the publisher through Edelweiss. I was asked to write an honest review, though not necessarily a favourable one. The opinions expressed are strictly my own.
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Nov 27, 2012 Shane Brady rated it 4 of 5 stars

Before I get into the specific review parts, I’d like to start by giving some color on how I came to purchase and read Faithiest. The first reason, was that Chris was so heavily recommended by people I trust. In fact, the first night I was at TAM 2012, Barbara Drescher told me how much I would like Chris. The next day, I got to hear Chris speak at a workshop and learned more about his approach to interfaith outreach. I didn’t get a chance to really meet Chris, aside from a quick handshake on the...more Before I get into the specific review parts, I’d like to start by giving some color on how I came to purchase and read Faithiest. The first reason, was that Chris was so heavily recommended by people I trust. In fact, the first night I was at TAM 2012, Barbara Drescher told me how much I would like Chris. The next day, I got to hear Chris speak at a workshop and learned more about his approach to interfaith outreach. I didn’t get a chance to really meet Chris, aside from a quick handshake on the last night I was at TAM, but from his friends who were also my friends, I got the picture that he would be someone I would be hearing a lot from in the realm of atheism. Lastly, I only connected the dots later that I had read his work on the blog Non Prophet Status.

Overall, the last couple years I’ve been changing my approach to skepticism and atheism while at the same time questioning what my role could ever be. See, I’m not an activist, I just don’t have that kind of personality or social skills. I’m not a great writer and when I try to sit down and write that insightful skeptical blog post that makes a big splash, the works never make it to my fingers to type. I have constant writer’s block when I try to write, so in a lot of ways, I’ve given up on the idea of being a busy skeptical writer. What does this have to do with Chris’s book? Reading his book, and more importantly buying the book, is part of the process I’ve undergone to become a better skeptic and a different atheist. I’m reading more, taking a humbler approach to these topics, because while I’ve been going to TAM for over ten years, I’ve learned more in the last two to three years than all the years previous combined. It’s very likely that five years ago I wouldn’t just passed on Faithiest, saying it was just the naive ramblings of a just out of college kid.

Now that I’ve set up what I might have said five years ago, let me be very clear on what I say today: _Faithest_ is a great book. The me of five years ago would have been missing out.

What did I like about the book? It read to me as the honest retelling of the journey of someone’s life from childhood to young adulthood. Chris’s description of growing up gay in a religious setting was not new to me, as I’d heard the same kind of stories from friends when I was in college. While I didn’t have the same kinds of experiences, feelings of isolation and depression during teenage years was something could relate to. I think of one the real strengths of the book was its ability to connect at a personal level. Some of things things I remembered weren’t so good, and I think that put me in the right head space. The same can be said or the description of how Chris made it through the dark times and figure out what he wanted to do. You go along with the ride as Chris became an atheist, and a grumpy one at that. Now, actually this was as far as I could connect to the story as I’m not sure I’ve moved completely past my grump atheist days.

One aspect of Chris’s story that has become a fascination of mine, is how people who were once religious later become atheist. I have no reference for this. I’ve been an “out” atheist since I was at least nine years old. I didn’t have the intellectual arguments to back it up back then, but I clearly remember laughing at other kids who believed in God. (I was not a nice kid in a lot of ways.) I’ve never once had a moment of doubt, where I ever came close to believing in a God, and so I don’t understand the mindset at all. I still don’t quite grasp how Chris found God in his life at one point, but I find it interesting nonetheless.

In addition to the biographical aspects of Fatheist, Chris spends a lot of time talking about interfaith outreach in its many facets. It’s also this aspect of the book that seems to have generated the most controversy. I’m not really sure I understand why. Chris’s approach to interfaith is actually pretty simple: Treat the religious like human beings. It’s really that simple. Most of the people in the world are going to be religious for the near future, and Chris says we might as well try to make that future as peaceful as possible.

I’m not sure I get the “accommodation” aspersions through at Chris. Is it really controversial to believe that most people are good and not monsters? Judging by the attacks, I’d have to conclude it is. I think everyone in the atheist/secular communities understand the problems that religion has caused. In the short term in the US that seems to be focused over certain science in the classroom and women’s reproductive rights, two issues that I think religion has made unnecessarily combative. Nasty billboards and calls for religion to be exterminated aren’t going to solve those problems either. Where Chris’s approach works, I think, is showing the religious that atheists and/or secularists aren’t the second coming of Stalin or Hitler. (Yes, I went Godwin).

Whether or not this tact ultimately works on the larger scale is impossible to say now. Maybe Chris’s approach is wrong in the long term. What we do know is that he has changed the lives and opinions of people he’s come across through his work. That’s more than most can say, and more than I certainly can say. While I have to admit that Fathiest hasn’t inspired me to become an interfaith activist, I’ve definitely learned something and at this point in my process of learning, that’s what I was hoping for. I’m still figuring out what I can do, if anything, and it’s impressive that Chris has already figured it out.

In conclusion, just go out and buy it. You’ll like it, you’ll get something out of it, and I think you’ll definitely look at interfaith outreach in a new way.(less)

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Nov 18, 2012 Tucker rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: finished, relativist

Against the backdrop of his memoir, Chris Stedman has produced a valuable call to action. Having begun to confront questions of sexuality, religion, and community as a teenager, Stedman changed his personal approach several times. He discovered that his "conflicted enmity toward religion was poisoning [his] own well." Today, in his mid-twenties, he asserts the values of listening, compromise, intellectual humility, and relatedness above "being right." In this sense, the moniker "Faitheist" is me...more

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Feb 01, 2013 Geoff rated it 5 of 5 stars

Since I decided to read so few challenge books this year, I’m able to pick up books on a whim and this is one of them! I encountered Faitheist through Heather’s great review at Between the Covers and knew I had to read it. So go read her succinct review first and then return to read my ramblings.

I’ll be the first to admit that I wanted to read Faitheist because the author is wicked cute, but the synopsis drew me in because I’m fascinated by how people negotiate identities especially when it come...more

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Dec 22, 2012 Dezra rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: biographies, non-fiction

Over the years I have come to identify myself as atheist, but I thought I was unique because I accepted religious belief in others and even rejoiced with them in their religious experiences. What I see in my friends and those I meet is goodness and concern for others, and this goodness and concern is inspired by their religion. I rejected the New Atheism that I've read about because it tends toward destructiveness when it encounters the majority of people (who are religious). That is not how I w...more

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Jan 07, 2013 Thomas rated it 5 of 5 stars

In this book, Chris Stedman tells his personal story about religion and how he came to peace with it. The book was very enlightening for me, because it taught me how its better to listen to someone whose different than you, and possibly even try to find a common foothold in your lives, than voice with obnoxious certainty what I think is the truth. As I was reading this book, I sort of tested out Stedman's claims with my own friends. Its true. A lot of my friends who are atheist, including me, co...more

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Jan 04, 2013 Rebeccah Marrero rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is difficult for me to write because I really wanted (and expected) to LOVE this book. I've met Chris a number of times and I find him incredibly inspirational and an all-around awesome person. He's doing amazing work at the Harvard Humanist Chaplaincy. But I cannot say that his book is incredible because I felt completely underwhelmed.

This may be because I'm already on board with the mission. I've been doing interfaith work for the past several years- the idea of cooperation between peopl...more This is difficult for me to write because I really wanted (and expected) to LOVE this book. I've met Chris a number of times and I find him incredibly inspirational and an all-around awesome person. He's doing amazing work at the Harvard Humanist Chaplaincy. But I cannot say that his book is incredible because I felt completely underwhelmed.

This may be because I'm already on board with the mission. I've been doing interfaith work for the past several years- the idea of cooperation between people from different faith and non-faith traditions isn't new to me. I expected Chris to focus on the interfaith aspect. Really though there are only about 20 prime pages of that.

Much more time is spent on Chris's childhood: his conversion to Christianity, realization of his sexual identity, self-hate, becoming an atheist, etc. Somehow, even with knowing the ending, he made me root for him to find a welcoming Christian community. Th way he paints the story, I became as invested as young Chris and then it was almost crushing when Chris realizes that he doesn't believe in God.

The other main message of the book is really geared towards atheists and how atheists can work together with the religious to effect positive change. Chris outlines a number of arguments, cites statistics, brings his own personal experience. It's a wonderful, very long pep talk that may work... if you're an atheist. Personally, I'm not.

At the beginning of the last chapter Chris writes, "I've questioned the appropriateness of writing a memoir before reaching the age of twenty-five more than a few times." I question it too. If I hadn't already met Chris and heard him speak at an interfaith institute, I don't know if I would have finished the book. If I had paged through it and read some excerpts in a store, I wouldn't have bought it. In book form, I just don't find Chris effective- and I think he should be. I firmly believe that the message of interfaith cooperation needs to be spread widely. In person, Chris is wonderful at doing that. Will Faitheist convince theists? I don't know. But if I didn't already believe in the end goal, it wouldn't have convinced me.(less)

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Nov 28, 2012 Justin rated it 5 of 5 stars

I picked up this book, because I have met Chris Stedman a few years back at a leadership convention where he was on a panel talking about interfaith work. At the time I was one of those angry atheists that he spoke of in his book, I disagreed with interfaith, and thought that making fun of religion was the way to get people to agree. Over the years of seeing more and more "faitheists" at work and humanism being more of a worldview to live your life by I changed. I gave up going to freethought me...more

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May 15, 2013 Sam Searle rated it 4 of 5 stars

If you are an atheist and the increasingly xenophobic and disrespectful rants coming from the likes of Dawkins, Harris and Hitchens bother you, Chris Stedman's philosophy and actions will probably make you feel better, whilst challenging you to convert your own ethical beliefs into practical action that will materially improve the lives of others.

I thought the book was not without its flaws, one being that the memoir parts were simply not as engaging as the call to action in the final part. In...more

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May 03, 2013 Emily rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, religion

In all my recent interfaith activities and efforts and self-education, I'm embarrassed to admit that I overlooked one important group: atheists.

Now, it may seem somewhat contradictory to include those who have no religious faith when contemplating an interfaith group, but in Faitheist: How an Atheist Found Common Ground with the Religious, Mr. Stedman defends his perspective, and his interfaith activism, well. As an atheist himself, he says, "we want to be taken seriously, to be seen as equally...more

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Mar 16, 2013 Nikki rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: autobiography-memoir, faith-and-spirituality-resources, non-fiction

From my progressive Christian viewpoint, this is an excellent book. Chris Stedman, without abandoning or compromising his atheist principles, makes a good case for atheists to join in interfaith work for social justice. So much of the widely-publicized discourse in recent years has been focused on the supposed intellectual superiority of atheism and the obsessively-catalogued sins of religion (conveniently forgetting that Stalin, for one, was an atheist). It's refreshing to read of Stedman's jou...more

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Jan 05, 2013 Emily Kimball rated it 5 of 5 stars

Chris Stedman's Faitheist was absorbing and engaging. This personal account of his growth as a person, along with understanding his identities as a gay man and an atheist, is a gift from the heart. I really enjoyed how Chris opened up about his inner thoughts in order to share his story with us. People like Chris inspire me to see myself and others in a better light and be more courageous in my my everyday choices.

I highly recommend this book to people struggling with their own identities. Even...more

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Aug 06, 2012 Henk-Jan van der Klis rated it 4 of 5 stars

Where New Atheist movement (what’s new in this?) famous spokesmen include Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, and the late Christopher Hitchens may impress some like-minded people, their pedantic attitude towards fellow humans that do adhere a faith or consider themselves religious, caused lots of animosity with others. In Faitheist (mind the words: fag, faith, atheist; kidding, it’s a previously coined term), a twentysomething named Chris Stedman challenges both sides and pleas for a respectful treatm...more Where New Atheist movement (what’s new in this?) famous spokesmen include Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, and the late Christopher Hitchens may impress some like-minded people, their pedantic attitude towards fellow humans that do adhere a faith or consider themselves religious, caused lots of animosity with others. In Faitheist (mind the words: fag, faith, atheist; kidding, it’s a previously coined term), a twentysomething named Chris Stedman challenges both sides and pleas for a respectful treatment. Quite shocking to learn to many Americans even don’t know one Muslim personally, but have strong opinions on Islam. I bet that’s the same for Hindus, Buddhists, Mormons, Jews and Christians. If you’re willing to reach out to other people and build relationships outside your comfort zone or natural / religious / cultural habitat, respect is good starter.
Stedman tells his own story, from one Seder meal on Friday night to literally taste some of the Jewish religion to his entry into and exit from American Evangelical type of Christianity. VeggieTales songs, the performance of a worship team, Left Behind series, that stuff. Yes, free pizza and a community for social care are valued. The need to belong to a community is a main theme throughout the book. Raised in a broken family, Stedman struggled with his homosexuality, didn’t get accepted by the local Christian church folks and going through the motions while upholding a “trendy” Christian image doesn’t work out well.
Stedman put of Christianity as a whole, his story has some pedantic elements as well, as if one teenager oversees a faith family that holds more than a billion people worldwide and whose American brothers and sisters aren’t the only flavour around. Exit Christian-era, exit True Love Waits certificate, coming out and live out a queer life. But there’s more to life: reaching out, learning at seminary and work in communities, such as the Interfaith Youth Core, founded by Eboo Patel who delivered a foreword to this book. The life and work of fellow Dutch man Henri Nouwen came to my mind.
The author found added value in raising interfaith communities, bringing together people regardless of their religious or other belief system. Humanism is the common ground Stedman builds on. What exactly interfaith means to both writer and reader is left unsorted. Next, I missed the philosophical standpoints in the humanism paradigms around, as well as explaining to a less involved reader what all the “isms” and abbreviations like TEC, LGBT and LGBTQ mean. Nevertheless: Faitheist is a book that makes you (re)think through your own beliefs and convictions.(less)

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Jan 30, 2013 Marissa Gauthier rated it 4 of 5 stars

Chris's experiences with religion and atheism really resonated with me- I've definitely had similar experiences with falling out from organized religion but feeling reluctant to call myself an atheist. I love the idea of secular humanism and I'm definitely going to look into it more. As for the actual book, Chris has a great writing style and his life is fascinating. I can't believe he's my age and I'm looking forward to seeing what else he will accomplish down the road. And besides, just look a...more

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Feb 20, 2013 David rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: reviewed-books

One Sentence Summary - The autobiographical tale of one man’s search for meaning (inside and outside Christianity) and his ultimate reconciliation, as an adult atheist, with the faithful.

Full Review:

In college, Chris Stedman gradually became aware of his atheistic feelings while he studied religion. However, he did not feel at home with the people at the helm of the movement; people who seemed to shun and disparage the faithful rather than open the lines of communication between the two communit...more One Sentence Summary - The autobiographical tale of one man’s search for meaning (inside and outside Christianity) and his ultimate reconciliation, as an adult atheist, with the faithful.

Full Review:

In college, Chris Stedman gradually became aware of his atheistic feelings while he studied religion. However, he did not feel at home with the people at the helm of the movement; people who seemed to shun and disparage the faithful rather than open the lines of communication between the two communities. Since then, Stedman has been trying to work together with believers of all faiths in order to make the world a better place for everyone; the religious and the secular.

Steadman’s prose is easy enough to read, but it’s heavy on the rhetoric. That alone would almost be forgivable if it wasn’t also so redundant. Every personal encounter Stedman has is built up as this profound experience that reveals the importance of bridging the gap between differing perspectives. Really, most of his stories boil down to talking about talking. There’s also a lot of “me” language in this book. Granted, it’s a memoir, but it sometimes feels like a resume when Stedman begins to list off, in detail, all the programs and services and studies and research and organizations in which he has participated.

For all his interaction with the marginalized, for all his academic work related to religion and interfaith organization, Stedman mentions precious little that lies outside the scope of his own narrow experience. Perhaps that was intentional. Maybe he was afraid of coming off as elitist or esoteric if he talked about these subjects critically, in scholarly depth. Instead, Stedman ends up coming off as vague and egotistic. Not much of a trade-off if you ask me.

Ironically, the people most attracted to this book are likely the the people who don’t need to read it. Those already on board with the message who wish to gain a more critical understanding of interfaith work or humanism should look elsewhere. The little elaboration that exists here is sandwiched between so many layers of anecdotal evidence and hipsterish band references that one sometimes wonders whether or not it’s worth it to push through and finish.

If you’re a fervent participant (believer or atheist) who admonishes how the other half lives, this could be a breakthrough book for you. If, however, you have always believed that everyone has worth regardless of what beliefs they profess, you might lose interest halfway through.

I really like Stedman as a person and I appreciate his struggle and his message but, as one might imagine, this memoir, written by a 25 year old, lacks maturity.(less)

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Nov 09, 2012 Chris rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, all-time_favorites

Less than 24 hours after stumbling across Faitheist: How An Atheist Found Common Ground With The Religious in my local bookstore's religion section, I have another book added to my all-time favorites. This is that book that I didn't know I needed.

Link to my longer review and take-aways on my blog.

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Mar 06, 2013 Kat rated it 4 of 5 stars

I believe this author did an exceptional job at such a young age in presenting his story in an honest and interesting way. I felt it was very refreshing to hear him discuss the open dialogue he so hopes to achieve with those of differing religious beliefs, as well as his passion for community. As a Christian, however, I felt saddened that he chose to give up his faith in Christ to become an atheist. I repeatedly hear bashing of Christians and their "obvious lack of intelligence", so I appreciate...more

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May 23, 2013 Drick rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: biography, theological, interfaith

Stedman tells his personal story in a self-effacing way, acknowledging that writing a memoir at 25 is a bit presumptuous. Yet it seems his purpose is to challenge both the faith community and the atheist community to consider that they have much in common, and to argue for interfaith dialogue that includes atheists or what he calls humanists to the table as well.

Stedman identifies a central problem with the so-called "new atheism" in that generally they are united more in what they are against (...more Stedman tells his personal story in a self-effacing way, acknowledging that writing a memoir at 25 is a bit presumptuous. Yet it seems his purpose is to challenge both the faith community and the atheist community to consider that they have much in common, and to argue for interfaith dialogue that includes atheists or what he calls humanists to the table as well.

Stedman identifies a central problem with the so-called "new atheism" in that generally they are united more in what they are against (religion) rather than what they are for. Interchangeably using the terms "atheist" and "humanist," he makes the argument that just as people from different religious traditions have much to learn from one another, so to believers and non-believing humanists have much to learn from each other.

He makes this arguments largely by telling his own story as a adolescent evangelical Christian who realized he was gay, who felt rejected and abandoned by God and then later welcomed into an inclusive Christian community only to find himself in college not really believing in God after all. This part (rejecting his faith) of the the story is less clear than the chronicles of his adolescence, but he nonetheless claims to have found some peace and identity not believing in God that he failed to achieve in trying to believe in God. After going through a time of anger and rejection of all things religious, he entered seminary with the idea of understanding people of different religious faiths and promoting inter-religious understanding. He now serves as a Humanist Chaplain at Harvard University and speaks and writes widely on the values of secular humanist and inter-faith understanding.

Stedman's story highlights the challenges of being gay in a largely heterosexual world and being an atheist in a largely religious world, and a widely Christian society. Unlike most of the new atheists I have read Stedman brings a desire for mutual learning and understanding, which I hope for all of us in successful. Religious folks should read this book to see both the best and worst of our traditions, but also to get a glimpse in to how non-religious people feel about us and our beliefs. (less)

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Nov 09, 2012 Maria rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: own, religion-and-humanism

It sounds funny to think of a memoir written by a not-yet-25-year-old but that was one of the things that interested me in this book. The young progressives are the driving force behind our Humanist movement and we no-longer-twenty-somethings don't always understand their perspective. It was particularly interesting to see the things that drew Chris to evangelical Christianity when he was a young teen. (And not surprising what drove him away and wounded him when he realized he was gay at about t...more It sounds funny to think of a memoir written by a not-yet-25-year-old but that was one of the things that interested me in this book. The young progressives are the driving force behind our Humanist movement and we no-longer-twenty-somethings don't always understand their perspective. It was particularly interesting to see the things that drew Chris to evangelical Christianity when he was a young teen. (And not surprising what drove him away and wounded him when he realized he was gay at about the same time.)

I am firmly in the pro-community and pro-interfaith camp, so I am not going to criticize Chris' thesis as "accommodationist". I am personally working to help revive the Humanist core of Unitarian Universalism. Many seculars like me and my family want real, in-person community that gives us connections and a better way to serve the community and work toward social justice. Many of us are also not anti-religious per se though we are highly critical. I've found in my dialogs with my religious friends and especially my extended family, that we can start from common ground and then talk about our differences with open minds and open hearts -- and we all come out better for it.

I wish this book had more of a call to action in its closing pages. The last section was much weaker than the narrative part because it came across as defensive even to someone like me who agrees that we will "catch more flies with honey than with vinegar". How can we get a grassroots movement going to get more seculars involved in service work and into dialog with the religious? Community building seems to be the place to start. How can we give secular youth a better alternative to the Christian youth group that drew Chris in? Those needs for answers and for acceptance are real and won't come from Google or Facebook.

I laughed when Chris quoted a man preaching at gays outside a gay bar as saying, "I never met a homosexual before" after they had conversed for a while. Of course he had, he had just never talked to someone who was willing to be open about it. The same holds for us atheists. If we don't talk to those we disagree with we'll just all keep our stereotypes and straw men. We'll also miss out on the opportunity to work together on the real social issues that are much more important than the source of our sense of purpose.

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Jul 14, 2012 Nathan rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: arc, read-in-2012

As a follower of Chris Stedman's work, I've come to know a bit of the path he's taken over his short yet full life and how that path has brought him to the space he now occupies. I, too, am of the "kinder, gentler atheist" ilk and knowing for over a year this book was forthcoming has been an almost agonizing wait, exacerbated even further by the tantalizing snippets posted on his blog.

I understand how Chris strives daily to promote constructive pluralistic discourse among all belief systems and...more As a follower of Chris Stedman's work, I've come to know a bit of the path he's taken over his short yet full life and how that path has brought him to the space he now occupies. I, too, am of the "kinder, gentler atheist" ilk and knowing for over a year this book was forthcoming has been an almost agonizing wait, exacerbated even further by the tantalizing snippets posted on his blog.

I understand how Chris strives daily to promote constructive pluralistic discourse among all belief systems and have heard how moments in his past have shaped the ideals of his work. But I also had to wonder: what could a 24 year old possibly have accrued in life experiences that would warrant an entire book? Was this ambition wrought from naiveté, conceit, or both? After consuming its pages in just over a day of reading, how wonderful to discover that neither virtue weighed very heavily in its conception.

Part of the plight of an atheist is the pervasive, incessant discomfort we feel at being open about who we are. Nearly every revelation of this identity is in some small measure akin to a gay person coming out of the closet. Over time we grow weary and often find ourselves avoiding the subject altogether. In Faitheist though, Stedman bravely blows down the proverbial door of his own closet and invites the reader in, leading us along the winding path of his journey, intent on baring naked all the missteps and lighted tunnels that molded the Humanist he is today. Without taking the professor's lectern, he pushes us to consider finding ways in our own lives to listen, question, and even embrace different ideas for what good they can do and how they relate to our own.

But in the end, Faitheist really isn't a Humanist "manifesto" nor is it a directive of action. Its intent is to get us to look inward and reflect on our own choices, past and future. Stedman asks "Given that we are here, what will we do? What is the greatest value of our action?" This is the message, the goal, the endpoint. Ultimately, it's a story, Chris's story. Raw, heartbreaking, beautiful, challenging, and (most importantly) hopeful.(less)

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Apr 27, 2013 Tom Leveen rated it 4 of 5 stars

The biggest shortcoming of this book, which is not the fault of the author, is that those who most need to read and consider Stedman's perspective, won't. For what it's worth, I strongly recommend it to believers and nonbelievers alike with a mind/heart/soul/whatever for social justice.

At first, I wanted to read more about the specifics of how Stedman came to dismiss his Christianity - his anti-apologetic, if you will - but by the end, realized this would have detracted from the focus of the boo...more

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Feb 10, 2013 C.A. Young rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: bitg-book-club

I struggled rating this book. I think it's written with skill, and the subject matter is important. I even found parts of it compelling.

And yet, I think this might just not have been the right book for me right now. As someone interested in interfaith, I learned a great deal, but finished this book feeling like I'd wanted something just a bit chewier about that work, and less of a religious/Humanist memoir.

Not a bad book. Not by a long shot. I just didn't fall entirely in love with it.

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Feb 02, 2013 Amy rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

I received this book through a First Reads giveaway. I was drawn to this book because of the focus on building interfaith coalitions and an atheist movement that works with religious groups, rather than against them. Chris makes some very compelling arguments about the need to collaborate and bring social justice to the forefront. This book almost seems to be two books in one - part memoir, part polemic. While Chris certainly has some interesting stories to share, at 25 his life experience is no...more

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Jan 20, 2013 S rated it 3 of 5 stars

This really made me think about what interfaith really means and what it should mean. Good food for thought and inspirational. One of my favorite statements from book: ...a quick perusal of human history shows that when one person's idea of "rationality" trumps basic human decency for other's, we all suffer.

FYI @ Erin - he even quotes Vonnegut a couple of times!!

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Feb 18, 2013 Lindsay rated it 5 of 5 stars

God, I loved this book (pun intended). Chris asks, "Why can't we all be friends? Is that really so hard?" I also love books that mirror my childhood (except in this case, without the being gay part).

In the interest of full disclosure, I totally tweeted the author that I loved the book, and he retweeted me, so of course I <3 him big time. BIG TIME.

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Mar 24, 2013 Reiden rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: atheism, memoir

Part colorful memoir, part argument, and altogether fun read. Chris Stedman is likable, lighthearted, and unpretentious; and this makes the book’s argument all the more easy to digest. Not to say that I wasn’t somewhat challenged by the underlining message. There was a fairly harsh criticism of the ‘new atheist’ movement.

Chris paints a vivid picture of a world riddled with negativity from both sides of the religious and non-religious coin. He shows how the only way for people to work together to...more

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