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Cock & Bull: histórias de phadas & phodas

3.46 of 5 stars 3.46  ·  rating details  ·  1,272 ratings  ·  67 reviews
"Cock: A Novelette" is the story of a woman who grows a fully functional penis. "Bull: A Farce" is the story of a man who acquires a vagina and all its companion parts. There are, however, complications. Cock & Bull, the book that introduced an enfant terrible of English letters to an American audience, has quickly become a classic of blistering satire.
Paperback, 272 pages
Published August 1994 by Geração Editorial (first published October 15th 1992)
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(showing 1-30 of 2,025)
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MJ Nicholls
For those seeking a pass into the perverse otherworld of Britain’s one-man imaginarium Will Self, these polymorphous novellas are a fine beginning. In ‘Cock’ a provincial wifey sprouts a string-bean male appendage that envelops her femininity, turning her into a masculine beast seeking to part the bald hillocks of her hubbie’s buttocks for some anal adventure. In ‘Bull,’ sports hack John Bull acquires a set of fleshy she-lips on his backleg and starts a strange affair with a vaginally fixated, p...more
Shovelmonkey1
Jun 27, 2011 Shovelmonkey1 rated it 1 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: people who instantly want to hate Will Self
Recommended to Shovelmonkey1 by: Will Selfs other books (liars)
Chapter One - a woman grows a cock
Chapter Two - a man grows a vagina

Finis.

Wilf Self shudders, heaves a replete sigh of onanistic literary release and puts down his pen(is).
Trin
Will Self really needs to shut up about vaginas. If I have to read another highly-pretentious, “literary”-crude, half-lustful and half-petrified description of the female genitalia—of which this book contains, oh, dozens—I may have to do something…unladylike. I mean, bloody hell! It’s a vagina. Get over it.

This book intrigued me as all (all? There is so little. Sigh) published genderfuck intrigues me. It’s broken into two parts: the first involving a woman who grows a penis, the second involving...more
Ben
"Cock" surprised me in the bad way. It wasn't what I was expecting, in the bad way, and it kind of horrified me, in the bad way. It turned out to be something I probably wouldn't like, in the bad way, even if I'd been expecting to read it in the first place.

"Bull" is amazing. I love it a lot. It's actually pretty hot, and an interesting read.

I hope my preference for the story about the man who grows a vagina and has an uberqueer affair with his male doctor over the story about the woman who grow...more
James
Cock and Bull is two independent stories back to back; connected through their core theme of an person who develops secondary genitalia, of the opposite gender. I didn't read them back to back – instead I read the first story, Cock, during a slow period in a non-fiction book on English grammar and then picked up the second story, Bull, a week (and two further books) after that. Both are typically Selfian; brutal tales of abuse, gender stereotype and role reversal. Both are set against tales of...more
Dan
Nov 09, 2007 Dan rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: spoonbenders and freaks
If Kafka and Wilde decided to collaborate over a bottle of absinthe they'd twist words into a story like this. A sincerely bizarre look into the nature of the sexes from the other's point of view.
Renzo
A bit funny, a bit pretentious.
Taylor K.
Jul 22, 2014 Taylor K. rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Modern & open-minded ladies and gentlemen. People into weird shit.
Cock & Bull was recommended to me by a friend of a friend, and I found it in a thrift store not long after, so I picked it up, figuring why not. The description leaves plenty to be intrigued about - a story about a woman who grows a penis and story about a man who grows a vagina.

Cock leads us into the life of a not-so-happily-but-also-not-so-unhappily married couple. Carol & Dan get together one drunken evening and end up marrying. The couple slowly descends into alcoholism (especially D...more
charta
Non è cattivo, non è malsano, non è volgare e, soprattutto, non è comico.
Il narratore onnisciente tratta con disprezzo le sue ibride creature, come se la loro insignificanza e la loro labilità emotiva e mentale fossero autonome e non sue precise scelta, prodotto e portato.
In più ritiene deficiente il lettore, che gratifica con un linguaggio sciatto, in cui le parole pene e vagina, declinate altresì in sinonimi che vanno dall'alto all'imo, ricorrono con frequenza maggiore della punteggiatura.
Frit...more
Angela
I no longer recommend this to people cause they just look at like I'm insane. One for hardcore Self fans, this is a disturbing yet funny two novellas. 'Cock' is about a woman who grows a penis and rapes her husband (as you do); 'Bull' is about a man named 'Bull' who grows a vagina on the back of his leg, vagina leg is then raped by his doctor, vagina leg gets pregnant and Bull emigrates to bring his child up. Utterly bizarre but I loved them.
Glynn Lavender
What can be said of Will Self's writings other than be prepared for a journey you may not want to take, be prepared to be confronted with things you may not want to confront. Be prepared to be amazed by an incredible, if twisted, author.
Tara
I have often said that if I were to have 3 wishes, one of them would be to have a penis for a day. This book takes that entire concept and just runs with it. The writing isn't the best, but the concept is amazing.
Geoff Horsfield
I thought it was funny. It made me laugh aloud which is what a comic novel should do. The positives are that it is genuinely witty and relevant. His verbosity is intriguing and his love of language shines through with a passion that is disarming and touching.
The negatives are that Self's arrogance and snobbery shine through more visibly. Why use one word when seven synonyms will do? Why write one sentence when writing a few paragraphs in order to crowbar in some affected perceived-witticism will...more
Richard West
oh dear. oh dear. Like waiting for the new Bowie album only to discover he's re-recorded Roy Chubby Brown scripts in the style of The Laughing Gnome. Some might find it challenging and daring. To others just tedious, self indulgent - no pun intended - crap. I hope this is blip and not the beginning of the end.
Michael Palkowski
Fantastic ideas juxtaposed with turgid, sardonic writing which either exhausts, overwhelms, bores, or excites depending on the context you read. Contrary to popular opinion, I much prefer the second story to the first, but enjoyed the literal deconstruction of gender in each story through unexpected abnormal physiological growth spurts which in their own way remove the main characters from their laborious, frustrating and pleasure free lifestyle by making them challenge fundamental things. Hilar...more
Ben O'mara
Often hilarious, innovative and weirdly touching. As a piece of fiction I found them to be fantastic.

However, If I am reading Self's theoretical assertions regarding embodied gender correctly; gendered subjectivity is entirely dictated by the individual's having a penis or vagina, I think a deeper reading of these pieces may run into some interesting problems. Also, I found his characterisation of Ramona the transgender prostitute that Bull encounters in the final tale to be crude and insulting...more
Amylaurab
If the storyline had not been completely spelt out on the back I might have a different opinion, but I really didn't enjoy this book and didn't get past Cock. I'm not prudish (I know that normally leads to saying something prudish, but I really enjoyed Cows, which is another "shock" book, for example),however I thought the writing in this book was boring, the storyline desperately strung out, and the characters cliché to the point of mundane. I appreciate that might be the back set for the extra...more
Bandit
This book could have been good, possibly great, the premise is interesting enough (gender reversal, etc.) and the writer is obviously talented, but instead to me it was an unpleasant non-engaging couple of stories about unpleasant uninteresting (with possible exception of Bull) characters and their sad lives ranging from insignificant to appalling and back. Altogether too precious, too pretentiously self-aware and too shocking for the sake of empty shock value of a book. Maybe I just really real...more
Dawn
Too weird and just trying way too damn hard - life is too short to read crappy books..so I am moving on!
Adam
Weird, semi-pornographic, interesting.
Brien Piechos
Not into this guy at all.
Andrew
It's nice to find another exception to my "Fuck Britain" rule. Will Self manages to pair technical writing chops with a fundamental sense of humor, which is a rare gift indeed. He also manages to be in-your-face about it without having any of the obnoxiousness of a Tom Robbins or a Chuck Palahniuk. I think this is because he knows how to use archetypes well, and knows how to provoke thought with them. Kudos.
Trish
It's a freaky friday of the genders! Girl grows penis and accompanying facsination with said apendage, and boy develops vagina, and accompanying symptoms of vulnerablilty. A naughty book, one I didn't feel like I should enjoy, but so help me God I did! I loved how the switch flips the traditional sexual characteristics of each gender. Pretty interesting stuff.
Jessi
Two stories, the first in which a woman grows a penis the second a man grows a vagina. Just graphic, lot of talk of womans genitalia and a whole lot of violation.

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Dennis
This wasn't a very entertaining book. There's a type of British humor which is pure cynicism but this book was more misanthropic than anything, in a juvenile sort of way. There was an idea here that was valid but poorly developed, more immature than provocative. Good thing it was so short.
Emma Rayward
hilarious, probing, biting, and all those sexual puns one could think of... but just occassionally i wanted to strike out a sentence or two. The first Will Self book I have read, and i'll definitely read more. His metaphors are pretty mind-blowing and he just gets right into it, fantastisch!
Timothy Munro
Hm. Genius? Perversity? Both? Dunno, but it was a rollicking romp of a well- (if snootily-) written page-turner, which did ultimately have some provocative and interesting things to say about our society's views on gender, sex and sexuality. I preferred the "Cock" half more than the "Bull" half.
Andrew
a wonderful book which describes the ultimate hell or heaven , when men and women can can sex at will or have additional essential organs added, great comedy that covers gender equality and identity...all of which get surrealistically challenged one of his funniest and easiest reads
Lauren Beckett
For those interested in a book about a woman who grows a penis and rapes her husband with it, or, a man that wakes up to find a fully fledged vagina behind his knee, then look no further!

Very Queer Theory. Enjoyed it and its concept but definitely not his best.
Jaslo
This was so fun to read. It was disturbing, funny, erotic, dictionary-on-hand necessitating, and thought provoking. The narrative voice is fast and witty and although it's basically literary porn, I didn't feel guilty because it was well written porn.
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William Self is an English novelist, reviewer and columnist. He received his education at University College School, Christ's College Finchley, and Exeter College, Oxford. He is married to journalist Deborah Orr.

Self is known for his satirical, grotesque and fantastic novels and short stories set in seemingly parallel universes.
More about Will Self...
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“Don't try it," he said. The mutant was reading my mind. "You, boy, you're a literary trainspotter...” 3 likes
“....with the morbid realisation that his sexual being was a dull thing, a lifeless thing, a mass-produced marionette with chipped paint and fraying strings” 1 likes
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