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Bullied: What Every Parent, Teacher, and Kid Needs to Know About Ending the Cycle of Fear
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Bullied: What Every Parent, Teacher, and Kid Needs to Know About Ending the Cycle of Fear

3.93 of 5 stars 3.93  ·  rating details  ·  107 ratings  ·  32 reviews
The mother of a bullied first grader, popular blogger Carrie Goldman's inspiring true story triggered an outpouring of support from online communities around the world. In Bullied, she gives us a guide to the crucial lessons and actionable guidance she's learned about how to stop bullying before it starts. It is a book born from Goldman's post about the ridicule her daught...more
Hardcover, 368 pages
Published August 14th 2012 by HarperOne (first published August 7th 2012)
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Stacey Miner
I want to buy multiple copies of this book and covertly drop them off on the desks of every single principal of every single elementary, middle, and high school within a billion mile radius. No joke. I think this should be required reading before any teacher is allowed to get his or her certificate to educate America's children.

As a child, I realize now, I was bullied. Granted, the level of bullying in which I endured was super mild compared to some of the more horrific stories you hear about in...more
Lori L (She Treads Softly)
I'm thrilled to be reviewing Bullied: What Every Parent, Teacher, and Kid Needs to Know About Ending the Cycle of Fear by Carrie Goldman during anti-bullying week at the public schools, and specifically at my school to "my" kids.

In Bullied: What Every Parent, Teacher, and Kid Needs to Know About Ending the Cycle of Fear author Carrie Goldman explains the impetus for her writing a book on bullying: "In November 2010, I wrote a [blog] post called 'Anti-Bullying Starts in the First Grade' for my bl...more
Sue Seligman
Aug 21, 2012 Sue Seligman rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: parents, teachers, anyone involved with children
This is a must read for parents, teachers, and anyone else involved in working with children and adolescents. The author wrote this book after her own daughter, at age 6, was bullied because she chose to bring a Star Wars water bottle to school rather than a more "girly" pink one. Through research, letters, personal experiences, Carrie Goldman describes the prevalence of bullying behavior within school and social environments starting as young as preschool. She offers the do's and don't's for pa...more
When Goldman’s blog post about her daughter being bullied for her love of Star Wars went viral, she decided to talk to everyone she possibly could about bullying and prevention–researchers, teachers, and parents–in order to bring the two worlds together and provide a book that combines recent research findings and solutions that can be implemented at home and in schools.

Goldman did a fantastic job. Bullied is accessible, interesting, and provides a wealth of information about bullying and preven...more
Jennifer Rayment
The Good Stuff
•Practical real life information written in easy to understand language - unusual as most of bullying stuff I have read is overly scholarly without real life solutions
•Lots of real life situations that readers can learn from and understand
•Incredible amount of research was put into this
•Index extremely thourogh
•Fabulous detailed Resources list and Reading recommendations for children
•Interesting relavant statistics
•Lots of positivity and hopeful messages
•Fantastic emphasis that the...more
Just bought it off Amazon. Yep, that good.

Fantastically informative so far. I tend to skip around in non-fiction books and read what is pertinent to me. So far everything has been very helpful. The stories are heart-breaking and should be an inspiration to stop bullying right now for everyone. Not sure if that is possibe but maybe this book could help. Go check it out!
This excellent book on bullying reminded me of an article I read years ago. That article was by a sociologist and was about how we couldn't apply our own cultural norms to other cultures. The example that author used was how a Pashtun mother watched approvingly as her 10-year-old son beat the crap out of his 5-year-old sister. The boy was simply teaching his sister the normative hierarchy (male over female, he gets to abuse her if she speaks up for herself) of the Pashtun culture.

Now turn aroun...more

Lots of great information. Even if your child is not currently being bullied, this book can help you be aware of situations that may arise and give you strategies to use before the situation gets out of control.
One of the better books on this subject I've read. Recommended.
Decent read which does refer to a lot of important considerations in dealing with bullying. Points for including a chapter on restorative justice, and for clarifying mediation vs. restorative justice. Definitely written by a journalist and not someone who is an expert in this particular field, which always has pros and cons - on the one hand, it's not jargony, but on the other hand, sometimes I felt like she didn't fully understand things she was writing about. The book did point me to a really...more
This may be the most important book I've read in a long time. I can't stop thinking about it. Probably the most important idea in the book is that all bullying has its root in contempt. In that light, I see even mild contempt as dangerous and work harder to avoid viewing any person or grooup of people with contempt. I really appreciate this book for being written right now in the world of blogs and cyberbullying, brand names, and texting. It brings a twentyfirst century perspective on issues of...more
Gayle Swift
At one time, “bully for you” was a celebratory expression. Today the word bully occupies a lot of attention and exclusively conjures up a world of hurt, rejection and fear. Families, schools, and churches, all struggle to handle this detrimental behavior. Bullying has worsened . Children accept fewer variants from a narrow definition of “acceptable” Today’s youth tighten the parameters of conformity. Violators of these rigid norms are called out, bullied and ostracized.
As adoptive families, we y...more
Teresa Dunbar
This book evolves around Katie, a first grader who likes Star Wars and for this she gets teased, the book is filled with letters and notes from people who wrote to Katie to make her feel better. I am not sure how this helps a parent break the cycle of fear?

I thought this book was going to be informative because I have a daughter being bullied. She is 14 and in middle school, however this book was not very helpful. I find the book to be mored geared toward parents who have very young children who...more
Ryan Dejonghe
Let’s start with this: (800) 421-3481. That’s the number to call if your kid is being bullied and your school is not effectively handling the situation. It’s the hotline to the U.S. Department of Education’s Office of Civil Rights. The author, Carrie Goldman, included this number somewhere in the middle of this book. People looking for this book may need that number sooner, rather than later, without having to dig around to find it.

And that’s my main recommendation about this book: that it could...more
Andd Becker
Parents and teachers, read this book to learn about all manner of bullying subtopics: symptoms that victims display; cyberbullying; sexting; sexual harassment; stereotypes; nonconformists; children who are different; bullycides; cell phone/texting addictive behavior.
The book is a must-read.
Mark Isaak
My main question of books like this is how reliable is the information? Goldman uses anecdotes for most of the book (generally not a good sign), but she also cites research which is consistent with the anecdotes. Some parts (especially about societal norms around gender) sound like soapbox preaching, but mostly it is a good coverage of all aspects of bullying -- addressing the victim, the bully, the spectators, and the authorities; addressing teasing, cyberbullying, and physical attacks; and mos...more
Lots of examples and stories. Really thought-provoking.
Brian Stewart
Excellent book...a must read for parents and teachers
It was okay. I felt like it stated the obvious a little too much. A lot of situations arise from children being just like their parents. It is very hard to deal with bullying children when so many schools are afraid of lawsuits from the parents of the child being the bully. And other parents of children who don't help their children recognize that by their behavior they are going to be targeted for comments. As an adult in a middle school I am very cognizant of bullying behavior. I try to be ver...more
Alex McGilvery
Bullied offers a clear understanding of bullying and sets it apart from other things that we tend to lump under the label bullying. Bullying is repeated, unwanted and comes from a power differential. It can be physical, sexual, social or verbal.

From the starting place of her own daughter's experience with being bullied, Carrie talks about possible solutions, including the wide variety of programs that are available to schools. She also places bullying into the community context. Programs that fo...more
Goldman is an excellent speaker as well as writer, and I would highly recommend her as a presenter to school or community groups. She give specifics on how to distinguish bullying from normal social conflict, how to respond to bullies, (or defensive parents and school officials) who deny the harm done, and how kids can flip the hurtful statements around to deprive them of their power. She tells kids how to minimize the impact of cyberbullying: don't keep the phone on in your room at night, don't...more
Sarah Hoffman
I think that this is the most important practical new book on bullying prevention that you can pick up today. Carrie's writing is accessible, personable, and warm. Her writing--both in this book, on her blog, and in her articles--has begun to tip the scales in terms of how parents, schools, and communities look at the issues behind bullying so that we can move beyond punishment and toward prevention. Read it now.

Jane H
This book was so full of information that I had a hard time actually getting through all of it. Goldman clearly did her research and spoke with a wealth of professionals in the field of bullying, including many people (adults and kids) who were bullied themselves, and how to coped. I was looking for a very practical guide on how to address bullying with my own kids, and that part was present in the final few chapters. I wanted more though. The better part of the book discusses the reasons that o...more
I haven't read a lot of books on bullying so I don't have much to compare this to. Goldman is not an expert but a parent who has done a lot of research. Her research is good - she talks to experts in the field, educators and as well as victims & former bullies. If you are looking for original research or works by experts, I would suggest Barbara Coloroso's The Bully, the bullied and the Bystander.

Bullied is an easy read for a non-fiction book. Goldman uses anecdotes & victims/bullies st...more
Seminole County Public Library
(submitted in the Summer Reading Grand Prize Drawing at the Northwest Branch - chosen as a staff favorite)

A must-read for anyone who works with children, “Bullied” explains how changes in our culture (i.e. gender-based marketing) have contributed to a rise in bullying as well as the long term effects of bullying on the brain. “Bullied” also discussed best practices for dealing not only with victims, but also with the bullies themselves. Goldman emphasizes that we should not change children to ma...more
Alice Eccles
A thought-provoking look at bullying and what families, schools, and the society as a whole can do to prevent it.
The first part of the book is the personal story of the author's experience with a bullying incident her daughter went through. Then the author goes on to describe some of the groups in our society who are at higher risk for bullying, and then examines specific programs and other ways bullying can be addressed. In particular, she talks about gender stereotyping and the messages that a...more
I found this to be a very informative book about bullying. It should be read by every educator as well as parents of victims, parents of bullies, and education policy makers. Ms. Goldman goes beyond the bullying aspect and examines why children are bullied and why some children are bullies. She provides numerous anecdotes about people coped with bullying -- from both sides. The book is heavily researched with many sources cited in her writing. Highly recommended.
Victoria Shepherd
The notion of restorative justice must be implemented in every school, immediately. The revelation of the positive uses of the internet to help combat bullying is also helpful. However, far too much time is spent attempting to establish that the marketing of toys to either boys or girls creats bullying, an understandable, but not necessarily true, bias given the eperienc of the author's daughter. However, there are definitely worthwhile messages in this book.
This is a very enlightening book. I recommend that every parent read this. It would be ideal if everyone who works in the school system would read it also, since that is where so much of the bullying takes place. There are great ideas and plans to help parents and school systems to best handle this issue. Usually, these types of books get boring very quickly, but not this one!
this book was good but I feel it is more appropriate for younger children and didn't really address the problems with getting bullied in Jr high and high school. There was some interesting information on why kids bully and what kinds of homes they come from, unfortunately I don't know how much this book will help me.
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