I Never Promised You a Goodie Bag: A Memoir of a Life Through Events--the Ones You Plan and the Ones You Don't

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I Never Promised You a Goodie Bag: A Memoir of a Life Through Events--the Ones You Plan and the Ones You Don't

3.56 of 5 stars 3.56 · rating details · 671 ratings · 137 reviews

When Jennifer Gilbert was just a year out of college, a twenty-two-year-old fresh-faced young woman looking forward to a bright future, someone tried to cut her life short in the most violent way. But she survived, and not wanting this traumatic event to define her life, she buried it deep within and never spoke of it again.

She bravely launched a fabulous career in New Yor...more When Jennifer Gilbert was just a year out of college, a twenty-two-year-old fresh-faced young woman looking forward to a bright future, someone tried to cut her life short in the most violent way. But she survived, and not wanting this traumatic event to define her life, she buried it deep within and never spoke of it again.

She bravely launched a fabulous career in New York as an event planner, designing lavish parties and fairy-tale weddings. Determined to help others celebrate and enjoy life's greatest moments, she was convinced she'd never again feel joy herself. Yet it was these weddings, anniversaries, and holiday parties, showered with all her love and attention through those silent, scary years, that slowly brought her back to life.

Always the calm in the event-planning storm—she could fix a ripped wedding dress, solve the problem of an undelivered wedding cake in the nick of time, and move a party with two days' notice when disaster struck—there was no crisis that she couldn't turn into a professional triumph. Somewhere along the way, she felt a stirring in her heart and began yearning for more than just standing on the sidelines living vicariously through other people's lives. She fell in love, had her heart broken a few times, and then one day she found true love in a place so surprising that it literally knocked her out of her chair.

As Gilbert learned over and over again, no one's entitled to an easy road, and some people's roads are bumpier than others. But survive each twist and turn she does—sometimes with tears, sometimes with laughter, and often with both.

Warm, wise, alternately painful and funny, I Never Promised You a Goodie Bag is an inspiring memoir of survival, renewal, and transformation. It's a tale about learning to let go and be happy after years of faking it, proving that while we can't always control what happens to us, we can control who we become. And instead of anticipating our present in a goodie bag at the end of an event, we realize our presence at every event is the real gift.(less)

Hardcover, 224 pages

Published May 15th 2012 by HarperCollins

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Jun 18, 2012 Sherri Huntley rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

This was a great lesson in working through and getting past challenges and being able to move on. The author, Jennifer Gilbert, was attacked viscously when she was in her early twenties. Although she developed a very successful business she never dealt with her anger and her role as a victim as the attack. It wasn't until 20 years later she really was able to revisit the attack and move beyond it. I don't think that the only lesson is about overcoming the attack of a madman. It really shows how...more

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Jul 27, 2012 Jessica rated it 2 of 5 stars

Recommended to Jessica by: Goodreads First Reads

Shelves: first-reads

I was really excited about this book, hoping it would be about all the great parties she threw and the event disasters. The first few pages started really well. When I realized this book was really just a recounting of all the bad things that happened in her life, I was really disappointed. I am very sympathetic to what happened to her, but as much as she says she hates the pity, I feel like that's all she was asking for in this book. I didn't find it very inspirational at all, I just found it b...more

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Jan 06, 2013 Sherry rated it 5 of 5 stars

I loved this book--as in sobbed my way through it, wished I had my own copy to highlight and underline. A wealthy college student is stabbed almost to death by a stranger and attempts to re build her life, sometimes by investing in other's happiness because she never believed she would be happy again. Some people said she's obviously wealthy and a bit self involved--she is obviously wealthy but I appreciate she is honest--about her upbringing and she is honest about how the stoicism among upper...more

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Dec 05, 2012 Sanz rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is a memoir of Jennifer Gilbert who was randomly attacked while going to a friend's apartment in NYC by a man with a screwdriver. He had no other purpose than to hurt her and try to kill her. He stabbed her over 30 times with the screwdriver. She writes about trying to move on after her attack and other life events. She is a famous event planner. (I'd never heard of her, but apparently she was on a TV show as well. One of those real housewives ones.) The book was very interesting simply bec...more

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Sep 10, 2012 Joy rated it 3 of 5 stars

I read a short review of this in a People magazine at the gym, and it sounded intriguing so I picked it up for my Kindle. The premise of the book is simple - the author survived a terrifying random stabbing in New York City as a young woman, and dealt with the emotional and physical fallout from that for quite some time. Part of how she coped was by starting and expanding a phenomenal party-planning business, and she uses some examples of clients and events as touchstones for her journey back to...more I read a short review of this in a People magazine at the gym, and it sounded intriguing so I picked it up for my Kindle. The premise of the book is simple - the author survived a terrifying random stabbing in New York City as a young woman, and dealt with the emotional and physical fallout from that for quite some time. Part of how she coped was by starting and expanding a phenomenal party-planning business, and she uses some examples of clients and events as touchstones for her journey back to "normalcy."

First off, I have great respect for any person who lives through the sort of situation that the author, Jennifer, managed to live through, and even more if they choose to share their story publicly as that is not an easy decision. The randomness of her attack, the details of how it happened and what her friends did during it, and how she recovered in her parents home are the stuff of nightmares for a multitude of reasons. She does a fair job of going through how she coped with the experience by controlling her body (by exercise and food) and her life (by dating minimally and throwing herself into her work), and does so clearly and simply. That part of the story is well done and I hope that telling it helped her and will help others who have also lived through stressful situations, and I certainly learned a lot from her story.

However, the portion of the book after her marriage that pertains to her children somehow felt off and completely different than the first part. It felt rushed, like Jennifer wanted to cover that part of her life but didn't really want to go into too much detail about her children, yet she does do so enough that someone can easily pick them out of a crowd where she lives. It's hard for me to pinpoint exactly what bugs me about this section, and I think it's a combination of the editing, the writing itself, and the focus on herself through her children. She does cover some of her therapy/discoveries about how her past is affecting how she sees/uses her children, but at the same time it feels more like she admits that but doesn't actually change it.

I liked the anecdotes about her work the most, and was hoping for more of them than was actually present in the story. I would *love* to read a similarly sized book (or bigger!) of just such stories, with or without the personal commentary attached to them. Overall, I did learn a good bit from this book and enjoyed the funny parts, but at the end it felt somewhat unsatisfying and might have ended better with her wedding, rather than continuing through to her children.(less)

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Aug 07, 2012 Leigh rated it 3 of 5 stars

I read this book as I've been involved in planning events for various professional or volunteer purposes Gilbert is an event planner who started her own firm - and has enjoyed quite a lot of success with it. This book turned out to be a very blunt memoir about her life so far.

On May 30, 1991 Gilbert experienced an unspeakable act that she seemingly recovered from fairly quickly functionally - but not emotionally. Outwardly, she poured herself into her life - becoming an enormously successful en...more

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Aug 06, 2012 Diane rated it 4 of 5 stars

When Jennifer Gilbert was just 22 years old, she was attacked by a crazed man who stabbed her repeatedly with a screwdriver. He had followed her from the subway to her friend's apartment and brutalized her right outside her friend's apartment door. This event begins her memoir I Never Promised You A Goodie Bag- A Memoir of a Life Through Events- the Ones You Plan and the Ones You Don't.

Jennifer screamed and pounded on the door and when her friend Andrea opened the door and saw what was happening...more When Jennifer Gilbert was just 22 years old, she was attacked by a crazed man who stabbed her repeatedly with a screwdriver. He had followed her from the subway to her friend's apartment and brutalized her right outside her friend's apartment door. This event begins her memoir I Never Promised You A Goodie Bag- A Memoir of a Life Through Events- the Ones You Plan and the Ones You Don't.

Jennifer screamed and pounded on the door and when her friend Andrea opened the door and saw what was happening, Andrea panicked and closed the door. The man still came at her, and she used all her might to avoid being stabbed in the head.

Andrea opened the door again and Jennifer scrambled into the apartment, with the attacker on her heels. Andrea ran into her bedroom and locked her door. Finally the man gave up and left, but Jennifer was in bad shape, losing a lot of blood.

Later she found out that there were four other women cowering in their bedrooms in the apartment, but no one came to her aid. Remarkably, she didn't hold it against Andrea, trying to understand how frightened Andrea was too, but their friendship didn't last.

Jennifer's parents and sister brought her home and tried to comfort her, friends and neighbors stopped by, but it didn't help. Her view of the the world and her place in it had been shattered, and now she was labeled "victim".

She moved to Boston and stayed with an old boyfriend, but was stuck in a state of fear and inertia. She couldn't work, focus, or leave her apartment. Then she decided to fight back.
"Where was that girl and why had she given up? I had let the attacker frighten me out of the city I loved and into a deep hole that I had dug for myself to hide in. This was not my fabulous life. This wasn't why I had fought so hard to survive that day. If I was going to be afraid to live, then that man might as well have killed me. I was lost and alone and scared, and I was headed down a road of not just feeling nothing, but being nothing."
She decided to work on her career and applied for jobs in event planning; she received two offers, one from Bear Stearns and one from a small events planning company. She chose the small company because she would be getting a commission on any event she booked and because of the freedom her boss gave her to help build the business.

Corporate clients were cold called, and she pestered them until they gave her a chance; she was relentless in her pursuit, finally getting Salomon Brothers as a client in 1992. Gilbert was great at her job, and her "AA-type personality" served her well. No detail was overlooked and she became well-known to caterers, party venues and hotels.

She learned "not only how to function in stressful moments, but also how to make those moments less stressful for everyone else involved." I worked in marketing for a mall, and events planning was part of my job, so I very much enjoyed reading how Gilbert solved problems (a bride locked in the bathroom crying, a venue that promised it would have a liquor license by event day didn't, running out of beer at a Salomon Brothers party at Tavern on the Green) with her can-do attitude.

Eventually Gilbert started her own events planning company, Save-the-Date, and because of her attitude and reputation, was successful. Her love life was another story. She had some long-term relationships, but none worked out. The only steady man in her life was her friend Bennett, who loved her and was convinced that they should be together, but Jennifer couldn't see it happening.

The title of the book comes from her idea that goodie bags are over. Her description of wealthy, high society women climbing over each other to get a bag that has nothing more than "a granola bar and a bottle of shampoo" had me chortling in recognition. I've seen that happen time and again, and I'm with Jennifer on this- get rid of the goodie bags!

What I took away from this book was the resiliency of the human spirit. Something horrible happened to Jennifer Gilbert, but she was determined not to let it stop her from living her life. That experience colored everything that came after, but she worked hard to overcome it and live "her fabulous life". You can let things in life defeat you or you can fight back and make a better life; it is all up to you. It's a lesson many of us can learn.
(less)

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Jul 12, 2012 Nancy rated it 4 of 5 stars

As a general rule, I don't read many memoirs. Far too often the author lacks objectivity and self-understanding. This is definitely not the case with Jennifer Gilbert. In fact, the clarity for which she often understood her self-sabotaging behavior was insightful and intriguing.

Chances are slim that the ordinary reader is going to be randomly targeted, followed, then repeatedly stabbed with a screwdriver by an enraged stranger. On the other hand, at some point in many reader's lives, there will...more

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Jun 28, 2012 Amaya rated it 1 of 5 stars

I really wanted to love this memoir. I was inspired by the positive reviews, but now after reading it, I'm confident most of those are from the author's friends and family -- I can't imagine readers would love this as much as they're claiming. Simply put, it was bad writing. I understand the author is an event planner and not a writer. We're reading it for the story -- and the story was good -- but the sub par writing was so distracting, it made me hate the book.

My main issues:

* There was esse...more I really wanted to love this memoir. I was inspired by the positive reviews, but now after reading it, I'm confident most of those are from the author's friends and family -- I can't imagine readers would love this as much as they're claiming. Simply put, it was bad writing. I understand the author is an event planner and not a writer. We're reading it for the story -- and the story was good -- but the sub par writing was so distracting, it made me hate the book.

My main issues:

* There was essentially nothing but narrative. Imagine sitting across from someone at a coffee shop for three hours while they recounted their entire life in one long monologue while psychoanalyzing every move they made. That's what this book was. Oh, sorry -- she ended most chapters with a Lifetime-ready inspirational quote or thought, too.

* Clichés, clichés, and more clichés. When I started paying attention, I counted five on one page.

* The author didn't trust the reader. Instead of letting us figure out why she broke up with a boyfriend (avoiding spoilers -- it was related to timing), she immediately told us, and then told us again when she was explaining it to the boyfriend. Wholly unnecessary. This happened constantly. Readers want to psychoanalyze the characters, we don't want to be told everything. Tell us later, after we've figured it out, so we can feel smug about being smart. Don't give it all away. Trust we're not stupid.

* The author was just unlikable. She whined, she was arrogant, and her "joke" in her wedding vows was revolting (I'm sure it was meant to be funny and cute. It wasn't). I like reading about damaged people. I like reading about messed up lives and how they're fixed. Yes, Gilbert went through a horrifying ordeal. No one would ever argue with that. And yes, she overcame her attack and fixed her life. But I disliked her the entire time. (Interested in an excellent example of a victim of a violent crime who worked through her trauma and came out ahead but remained likable? Read Lucky by Alice Sebold.)

This book had SO MUCH potential -- unfortunately, it fell flat immediately. If you just want a good story of overcoming a violent crime, pick it up. It does have a happy ending. I will watch the inevitable Lifetime movie. I just hoped for so much more. (less)

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Apr 09, 2012 Beth rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, recovery, eating-disorder, nyc-lifestyle

Jennifer Gilbert is an event planner who started her own business, Save the Date, after an horrific attack by an assailant who followed her from the subway and stabbed her multiple times with a screwdriver in 1991. She was only 20 years old. In an attempt to put the attack behind her, she emersed herself in her work and became very successful. She was awarded the pretigious Ernst & Young "Young Entrepeneur of the Year" in 1998.

However, as she threw herself into her work creating wonderful an...more

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Jul 07, 2012 Chantal rated it 5 of 5 stars

I surprised myself at how much I enjoyed this. It is a very honest and very real insight into this woman's life and how she was shaped by events in her life - good ones and tragic ones. I was drawn to it based on a People review because of my background in event planning, but took away so much more from it. I found Jennifer to be an inspiration and a wonderful example of moving past tragedy and not being defined by it. A quote that really stuck with me was - "Never "at least" someone else's pain...more

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Mar 03, 2012 Rachel Bussel rated it 5 of 5 stars

I read a lot of memoirs, and was drawn to this one because of the title. It sounded cute and fun. What I got instead was one of the best memoirs I've ever read. Jennifer Gilbert's story is one I think all women in New York City, certainly (and elsewhere!) should read, as she opens up about the attack by a stranger that almost killed her, and then how she coped with it, both in healthy and less healthy ways. She is searingly honest about how the attack affected her closest relationships, with fri...more I read a lot of memoirs, and was drawn to this one because of the title. It sounded cute and fun. What I got instead was one of the best memoirs I've ever read. Jennifer Gilbert's story is one I think all women in New York City, certainly (and elsewhere!) should read, as she opens up about the attack by a stranger that almost killed her, and then how she coped with it, both in healthy and less healthy ways. She is searingly honest about how the attack affected her closest relationships, with friends, family and romantic partners, how it helped drive her event planning business, Save the Date, and how it affected her process of getting pregnant. I stayed up late to finish this, utterly inspired by Gilbert's drive, her ability to, sometimes grudgingly, love herself, learn how to be a better person and let go of the shame she held onto around her attack. She goes back to topics she'd gone over earlier and gives different perspectives as she moves through major life passages, like becoming a mother.

Gilbert is humble, as well as humbled by what she's been through, and while I got many lessons out of this book, the biggest one is that what you look like on the outside isn't always how you feel on the inside. I'm sure this is something everyone instinctively knows, but when you read about Gilbert's hiding of her scars, facing her attacker in court, her chasing after unavailable men until finally welcoming love (with some cold feet along the way), learning from her children that once you start on a course of action, no matter how instinctual and habitual it feels, that you can always change, was incredibly moving. Gilbert writes, "The scariest step is always the first one." In this memoir, she takes multiple first steps, both literally, and figuratively. She rebuilds herself from the inside out, over and over, and has an incredible amount of empathy, mostly for others, and eventually, for herself. While about her very personal story of building a successful business and life from a tragic event, this memoir will also speak to anyone looking to move beyond their past and learn from it and help it mold them not into someone who succeeds despite their past, but because of it. Read this book, and keep tissues handy. (less)

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Mar 17, 2013 Janna rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: just-for-fun

I just devoured this book on an international flight (all reading, no TV watching!). I knew very little about the book, but it sounded entertaining. What I didn't expect is to be so emotionally drawn into the storyline! I won't bring up any spoilers, but the draw isn't just hearing about the chaos of event planning... It's in the resilience we can find in ourselves. The author lived through some awful situations, and this book is her story of how she dealt with the emotional toll these experienc...more

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May 10, 2013 Shoshanah rated it 4 of 5 stars

When I first knew I would be reading this I was really excited. After all it was from an almost RHONYC, who was a fabulous event planner. I figured I was in for an amusing read, with stories of brides throwing fits and elaborate parties. And yes, the book did actually deliver on that.

Except what I had no idea about going into it, was that at 19, Jennifer Gilbert was brutally attacked and almost died. Most of the book deals with how that impacted her and dealing with the aftermath. Her life defin...more When I first knew I would be reading this I was really excited. After all it was from an almost RHONYC, who was a fabulous event planner. I figured I was in for an amusing read, with stories of brides throwing fits and elaborate parties. And yes, the book did actually deliver on that.

Except what I had no idea about going into it, was that at 19, Jennifer Gilbert was brutally attacked and almost died. Most of the book deals with how that impacted her and dealing with the aftermath. Her life definitely didn't go as planned, but one has to wonder, if she never had that life changing moment would she have made a point to be as successful as she became?

One subplot I really identified with was the amour Jennifer tried to shield herself with. She wants so badly for others not to realize that inside she may be feeling insecure, that friends and coworkers have no idea how she's actually feeling inside. There's one point where she realizes she actually needs to say hi and make more of an attempt to be friendly to those working for it. It's not that she doesn't have friendly feelings towards them, but that she was so worried about being perceived as weak, that she had no idea how she actually came across. I think this made sense because so much of this is how I feel. I'm always so worried about how people perceive me, especially at work, that I make a point to sound confident. Except more often than not, I come off as unfriendly, even though that's never intentional.

I wound up really enjoying my time with this book. Which I wouldn't necessarily have believed if I had been told that what happens to Jennifer within the first few chapters. Instead the book wound up being the perfect mix of events, personal growth, relationship drama, family life, and entrepreneurship that really resonated with me. My only complaint at the end is that I wish Jennifer Gilbert was given more of an opportunity to have her scenes aired on RHONYC (although I'm guessing with all the Bethany and Jill drama that season, they had crazier things to air).

Disclosure: I was provided this book through TLC Book Tours. All opinions expressed are my own.(less)

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Feb 17, 2013 Meg Marie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Yet again, I feel like I should do a better job of reading the blurbs for books before I check them out of the library and down load them. I figured this was going to be a frothy roman al chef about the world of event planning. I wanted millions of stories of crazy brides and demanding clients, but the book is instead a memoir of overcoming obstacles and personal sorrow, with the events and the crazy brides being only background dressing. Jennifer Gilbert's story is incredibly powerful, and her...more

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Jan 13, 2013 Ficbot rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: memoir, 2013

A so-so start to my reading year. Parts of the book were really interesting---the aftermath of Gilbert's pivotal life event, and how she rebuilt herself after, for instance. But parts of it were really shallow too. She has so many friends, so many boyfriends, so much designer clothes and fabulous vacations and money! She strung a great guy along for almost a decade after he declared his love for her! She has a birthday party for just a few close friends that has almost 100 people at it! Clearly,...more

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Jun 09, 2013 Patti Pokorchak rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir-bio

Love this book! The courage it took for Jennifer to finally open up about her attack was so admirable.

I love her wisdom at the end - that sometimes it only takes one step to get out of a hole!

Also, that "you can't control what may happen to you in this life, but you can control who you want to be after it happens".

And to me, this was the ultimate love story too about finding your true love; to finally being open to seeing it in front of you. And accepting the true love that is offered you. How w...more

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Jun 08, 2012 Lisa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

A positive review in Entertainment Weekly prompted me to read this memoir, and I'm glad I did. In her early 20s, Jennifer Gilbert fell victim, at random, to a knife-wielding maniac, leaving her scarred physically and mentally. Her memoir follows her along the long path to recovery, as she becomes a successful event planner in NYC, falls in love, and starts a family of her own. Her experience launching her own business and making it such a success was inspiring enough a read; to know that she ach...more

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May 22, 2013 Sharon Galligar-Chance rated it 5 of 5 stars

As I spent the evening reading Jennifer Gilbert's story, I was amazed at the range of emotions this mesmerizing memoir evoked. I was filled with anger for the horrible incident that nearly destroyed Jennifer's life, I chuckled at some of her experiences as a party-planner, and I felt a great deal of admiration for this brave, strong young woman. Jennifer overcame the odds that would have left her as a victim and proved to herself and the world that she could be the person she was meant to be, de...more

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Aug 08, 2012 Tracy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: mother-daughter-book-club

I presumed this book was about life as an event planner - a sort of cross between a memoir and chick lit. I was wrong. Jennifer Gilbert writes about her happy life until she is the victim of a brutal attack and how she became successful at business and then at life despite the lingering emotional effects of her attack. It wasn't the memoir of a true writer (like Glass Houses) but her story is interesting and inspiring.

One thing that will stick with me is that when something bad happens, you sho...more

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Jun 06, 2012 Justine rated it 4 of 5 stars

I read this book in one day - now mind you this was on a one-day whirlwind flight from DC to Chicago and back. Gilbert's story kept me company throughout the delayed flights, subways and quiet planes. The memoir itself reminded me a bit of "Eat, Pray, Love" in the way that a tragedy occurs and the author brings herself back to life, a sort of middle-aged coming-of-age book.

My analogy to EPL probably arises from the fact that I could clearly see three delineations in Gilbert's life: growing up/tr...more

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Nov 06, 2012 Mary rated it 3 of 5 stars

I would have liked reading more about the events she planned. Makes you realize how stupid all the over-the-top weddings and other celebrations are. Too much time spent on details instead of just enjoying the moment/life event!

I could really identify with her description of losing her sense of smell and how it came back to her. While grieving over numerous losses incurred over a few years, I lost appreciation for things that used to move me, make me laugh, etc. Unfortunately, this lasted a long...more

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Sep 18, 2012 Laura rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: book-club-2012, owned-kindle

This was another book club book and another memoir--and kind of disappointing. I cannot even begin to imagine the horror of what the author went through and yet somehow her recovery seemed incomplete. She seemed to be extremely materialistic for a long time and then sort of ultimately got it when she had children...and then I find out she's sort of a 'housewife of new york' which just totally dashed her credibility as far as i'm concerned. She was never a housewife, she started and owns a hugely...more

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Aug 03, 2012 Anne rated it 2 of 5 stars

Ms. Gilbert lived through a horrific attack and went through much to deal with the mental pain and go on with her life. Unfortunately, whatever emotional struggle it took for her to do that is missing from the memoir. She shares with us many details about the exciting exclusive life she has built in the wake of tragedy. However, she fails to (or still isn't able to?) draw us into her story and make herself an empathetic character by connecting with us at a deep emotional level. Instead feeling a...more

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May 08, 2012 Trish rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction, memoir, 5-star

Jennifer Gilbert seemed to have it all – an affluent upbringing, a great education followed by post-college travel to Europe, and plans to take the Manhattan business world by storm upon her return. Then suddenly, all of her dreams were interrupted by a vicious attack that left her almost dead from multiple stab wounds all over her body.

This attack, and the years that followed, are the subject of her book, I Never Promised You a Goodie Bag: A Memoir of a Life Through Events–the Ones You Plan and...more Jennifer Gilbert seemed to have it all – an affluent upbringing, a great education followed by post-college travel to Europe, and plans to take the Manhattan business world by storm upon her return. Then suddenly, all of her dreams were interrupted by a vicious attack that left her almost dead from multiple stab wounds all over her body.

This attack, and the years that followed, are the subject of her book, I Never Promised You a Goodie Bag: A Memoir of a Life Through Events–the Ones You Plan and the Ones You Don’t. As her body recovers, Jennifer suffers from night terrors and ongoing phobias that don’t go away even when her attacker is found and imprisoned to await trial. She tries to escape her new reality by moving to Boston, but soon decides that she must return to New York and prove to herself and everyone else that she can make it. Unfortunately, the only way she can do this is to stuff all the negative emotions down deep and present herself as a whole new Jen.

Wearing what she calls her “Jen suit,” she takes a job as an event planner and immerses herself into her work, revolutionizing the business model in a way that propels her to the top of the heap and eventually leads her to start her own company. After running as hard as she can in the other direction for three years, however, the time comes when she must testify against her attacker at trial. Finally, Jen realizes that she has to deal with her ordeal and begins to see a therapist who helps her face her darkest fears and start the emotional healing process.

Throughout the book, Jennifer is candidly open and honest about how she – and those around her – dealt with her pain. We see the forward strides as well as the steps backwards as she does her best to hold herself together and regain her joy and peace in her life. In addition to her insights about her personal journey and close relationships, we also see how she brings the lessons she has learned to her professional life as an event planner.

While Jennifer’s story centers around a painful experience, her writing is filled with the determination and hopefulness that she has fought to recover in her life. I found myself constantly reaching for a pen to underline or mark some of the gems like these:

"Everything in life is relative, and…perspective only comes after the crisis."
"Never “at least” someone else’s pain away. Let them have it, feel it, and then try to alleviate it."
"If you spend your time measuring your reality against your fantasy, you’re inevitably going to lose the joy of just being in that moment."

I highly recommend I Never Promised You a Goodie Bag; you won’t be sorry to have opened yourself up to this testimony to the strength and resilience of the human spirit.(less)

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May 16, 2012 Jill rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

This book is a very quick read! What originally attracted me to this book was that she was a party planner for some on the most important people and companies in NYC. I thought...How do you start a company like that? But this book is much more than just cocktail parties and party decorations! From the beginning I was absorbed in the story and wanting to be friend with this girl! She writes with great insight on how the events in her past have really affected her in positive ways but also what ch...more

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Aug 17, 2012 Cynthia rated it 3 of 5 stars

No one will dispute what Jennifer Gilbert went through was horrific and she undoubtedly rose above and turned her life around. And it was only for that reason alone I gave the book 3 stars.

Having said that..... Wow does this book come across as self serving, full of herself, look how amazing I am drivel. Yes, there are moments where one can learn and take something from her experience, the importance of living life to the fullest, love, laughing etc... To me these messages were lost in the cons...more

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Jul 27, 2012 Anne rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book was inspirational in many ways. The author lived through a horrific experience early in her life, and reading about how it impacted her and how she ultimately got through it was very moving. However, the style of writing was a bit flat and two-dimensional. Granted, this is a memoir, but the author could have done more to make her story come alive. Still, the facts she relates are interesting, and she does sprinkle some awesome tidbits of wisdom throughout. I would recommend it, but it...more

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Nov 08, 2012 Jill rated it 5 of 5 stars

I enjoyed this book so much! A true story of a woman who had a terrible thing happen to her and what the results were - her reaction, her life choices, etc. Like Immortal Bird, it read better than any fiction you could have written - though the topics were difficult at times.

I'm sure I liked it even more because the woman was in the event planning industry, which often dovetails with the public relations industry, one I've been in for many many years.

Anyway, you won't be able to put this one dow...more

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Jul 02, 2012 JanB rated it 1 of 5 stars

The author survived a horrific attack and I admire her ability to go on and flourish personally and professionally. There is no question she is a survivor who works incredibly hard and deserves all her success.

Unfortunately, the rest of the story was a litany of how rich and fabulous and thin she is, how much men LOVE her, and a blow-by-blow account of every over-the-top fabulous event she’s master-minded and saved from disaster for the super-rich. It was tiresome and she came off as very self-...more

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title link	preview: I Never Promised You a Goodie Bag: A Memoir of a Life Through Events--the Ones You Plan and the Ones You Don't
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BBCode	[url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13426063-i-never-promised-you-a-goodie-bag?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book][img]http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1331144681l/13426063.jpg[/img][/url] [url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13426063-i-never-promised-you-a-goodie-bag?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book]I Never Promised You a Goodie Bag: A Memoir of a Life Through Events--the Ones You Plan and the Ones You Don't by Jennifer Gilbert[/url]

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