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Chase in Shadow (Johnnies #1)

by Amy Lane (Goodreads Author)

4.3 of 5 stars 4.30 · rating details · 1,488 ratings · 288 reviews

Chase Summers: Golden boy. Beautiful girlfriend, good friends, and a promising future.

Nobody knows the real Chase.

Chase Summers has a razor blade to his wrist and the smell of his lover’s goodbye clinging to his skin. He has a door in his heart so frightening he’d rather die than open it, and the lies he’s used to block it shut are thinning with every forbidden touch. Cha...more

Paperback, 320 pages

Published February 24th 2012 by Dreamspinner Press (first published February 23rd 2012)

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Lists with This Book

Best M/M Romance Published in 2012

4th out of 583 books — 1,175 voters

The Curtis Reincarnation by Zathyn Priest

Best Gay Tear Jerker with a Happy Ending

20th out of 289 books — 530 voters

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Community Reviews

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Feb 25, 2012 Lauraadriana rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: angsty, fave-authors, cried-like-a-baby, favorites, troubled-past, love-conquers-all, loved-it, m-m

I had three thoughts when I finished this book:

1. I LOVED this book too much, and damn I'm a glutton for angst, because I'm actually giddy.
2. Amy Lane may not be for everyone, but her books ROCK MY WORLD
3. I wonder when the next one is coming out?

Now the story...

The Broken Boy...Self-Destructive Fuckery, thy name is Chase "Chance" Summers

Chase Summers is a young man who has been tampering with the reality of what and who he is his whole life. A horrible childhood, a mother who took her own life,...more

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Mar 04, 2012 Xandra rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: mm

2.5 stars
If you plan on reading this book, I warn you that you’ll spend most of the time being mad. Or sad. Or both. This book is about Chase. He’s a self-centered bastard and the whole fucking universe revolves around him. He’s a moron and a scumbag and a coward and a liar and a douche bag and goddammit, I hated him!!! And you’ll be stuck with him for more than 300 pages.

I think it’s pretty clear by now that this isn’t a smart and insightful review, but some very subjective ramblings (god, I ha...more

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Apr 18, 2012 Karla rated it 5 of 5 stars

Recommended to Karla by: Kris (KindleRomance)

Shelves: angst-filled, disturbing, emotional, favorites, hurtful, intense, m-m, scorching-hot, sensual, sweet-boy, terrific-dialogue, thought-provoking, tortured-souls, tragic-death

A very powerful and emotional read. I had no idea the journey I was going on when I started this book, but it was one filled with unbelievable high and lows, amazing characters and a story that damn near ripped my heart out of my chest.

Slowly the layers are peeled back on Chase’s past as his story progresses in the present, and you can understand why he has chosen to hide behind the image of being straight. The guilt that this boy carried around for most of his life was unimaginable, and the fa...more A very powerful and emotional read. I had no idea the journey I was going on when I started this book, but it was one filled with unbelievable high and lows, amazing characters and a story that damn near ripped my heart out of my chest.

Slowly the layers are peeled back on Chase’s past as his story progresses in the present, and you can understand why he has chosen to hide behind the image of being straight. The guilt that this boy carried around for most of his life was unimaginable, and the façade he hid behind because of tragic childhood, never allowed him to be his true self. He became a porn star as an outlet for his sexual needs and in every other aspect of his life lived as a heterosexual man. Despite all the hate he endured as a child, Chase has grown up to be a good man who tries to do right by everyone. Underneath he is a ticking time bomb ready to explode into a million heart wrenching pieces.

When he comes undone, breaks apart, loses himself to his guilt and memories, I don’t know how else to describe it, it’s so overwhelming, you wonder if he’ll ever being able to pull himself back together. Tommy his true love, and a character with his own issues, is with him every step of the way. The love they have for each other is awe-inspiring…breathtaking. One could only hope to find love like this at least once in a lifetime.

His childhood friends Kevin and Donnie just accepted him as he was and never questioned his family life. Donnie, a gay man himself, suspected that Chase was gay, but never pushed the issue when Chase denied as much. When they find out how much Chase suffered as a kid, they are hurt he didn’t trust them to tell, but also dismayed that they never did more for him. The only person Chase ever revealed himself too was Tommy. There is a whole host of secondary characters that add so much to this story, namely Mercy, Chase’s girlfriend. This lovely girl is a much a victim of Chase’s past as he is, when she becomes a major player in the lie that Chase lives. Doc Stevenson is the man who pulls Chase back to reality, and even though he is introduced late in the story, his role is huge. I loved the way he was portrayed, crotchety older man who knits during therapy sessions, calm, effective, but strong and forceful when he needs to be.

The writing is superb, although the story does bounce around, and once you understand Amy Lane’s style, it becomes easy to follow along. This book is strong on emotion, tragic events, sexual content, and at times is quite vivid. It’s also filled with love, strength, compassion and a WONDERFUL, HEARTWARMING, PERFECT HEA!!

On a personal note, it appalls me to think that there are people out there who feel the need to hide their sexual preferences because of the consequences they would endure from family, friends and the public. How horrifying to think that rather than face the judgment of others, the better option is suicide. It truly saddens me.
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Sep 11, 2012 Monique ~ Sinfully Sexy Book Reviews rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is a love story, beautiful and tragic in it's tale which will captivate you and hold your heart to ransom right to the very end.....4.5 stars

At times during this book, I actually found it hard to read and not in a bad way, but because there is such profound raw emotion and heartbreak hiding behind the persona that is Chase Summers. He is 20 years old and in my eyes he was still a boy...a boy that lost his way in life 14 years earlier when the tragic death of his mother leaves him with the...more

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Jul 12, 2012 Buggy rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommended to Buggy by: D

Shelves: man-love, ebook, heartbreaking-hero, shelf-12, tortured-hero

Opening line: “Did you have fun?" Mercy asked as Chase negotiated the slick Sacramento streets in the dark."

Wow, what an emotionally draining, yet ultimately amazing read. My first from author Amy Lane but not my last for sure, however it may take a while before I’m up to facing this sort of angst again. Yeah Chase In Shadow is heartbreaking and beautiful and damaged and gorgeous and just such a freaking hot mess, I won’t be forgetting him for a long time to come.

As much as I came to love this...more Opening line: “Did you have fun?" Mercy asked as Chase negotiated the slick Sacramento streets in the dark."

Wow, what an emotionally draining, yet ultimately amazing read. My first from author Amy Lane but not my last for sure, however it may take a while before I’m up to facing this sort of angst again. Yeah Chase In Shadow is heartbreaking and beautiful and damaged and gorgeous and just such a freaking hot mess, I won’t be forgetting him for a long time to come.

As much as I came to love this story I should tell you though that I had a hell of a time getting into it, and quite honestly almost gave up more than once. My initial problem was sorting out the huge cast of characters, most of whom had two names (which wasn’t explained right away) Chase is also Chance, his love interest is Tommy or Tango then we have childhood friends, porn industry friends, directors, fiancées, it took me ages to figure who was who. Compile that with a very unique style of writing that jumps from past to present with real events, dreamed events, desired events and directors cut type filmed events. The dialogue also takes some getting used to because in almost every circumstance Chase includes a “wished” internal response to what he actually says.

“Is there something wrong?” Donnie asked, like he was afraid of the answer.

I fell in love with a guy I met on a gay-for-pay porn set, and he cheated on me when we weren’t really a couple, because I had to leave him for my girlfriend

“Mercy had my dad over last night. It…it didn’t go real fuckin’ well.”

At some point though everything just clicked for me and fell in love with both the story and the uniqueness of the writing. Add to that one of the most emotionally damaged, frustrating, contradictory characters I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading, a heartbreaking romance including love scenes that defy a hotness category and well, Amy Lane‘s got herself a new fan-girl.

Chase “Chance” Summers has it all….from the outside He’s young, popular, good looking and athletic with a beautiful fiancée and supportive friends. Which is just how he planned it. In between studying for his engineering degree, playing baseball and saving for a house Chase has also managed to hide an abusive, messed up childhood behind the red door (in his mind) -which, throughout the course of the book slowly gets opened. His farce of a life seems to going along just fine until he adds one more lie to his already toppling house of cards. Telling himself that it’s for the money and that he’s straight, I mean he’s got a fiancée right? Chase decides to try out the gay porn industry.

Entering “Johnnies” is a revelation because for the first time in his life Chase “Chance” feels free. In fact when he’s with another man he’s flying, but the house of cards is starting to sway. Keeping his alternate life from his girlfriend is almost too easy, which of course just makes him feel like a dick but then again he can hardly contain himself once he starts thinking about who and what he’s going to be doing during the next shoot.

Enter Tommy “Tango” Hallaron, fellow porn actor and the one Chase has been inadvertently waiting for his entire life. They fall fast and hard and Chase’s life trisects, and the house of cards shakes a bit more. His abusive father, his mother’s suicide, his porn life, his straight friends, the fact that he’s really gay, the cheating on both Mercy and Tommy. Secrets upon secrets upon secrets, something’s got to give. Throughout the utter chaos of Chase’s ‘perfect’ life he hates what he’s doing to those he loves but can’t stop, can’t change and he hates himself more and the house of cards falls and the red door opens.

As you’ve assumed this story goes to some very dark places, I mean on page one he’s attempting suicide so you know you’re in for a roller coaster ride. But I never really expected the level of grief, torment and self abuse that we get to see here. Towards the end there’s a huge surprise (that I didn’t see coming) and it helps in what (Thank God) is a well, well earned HEA. Cheers

*Originally reviewed for my friend D over on PANTS OFF REVIEWS* http://pantsoffreviews.blogspot.com/
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Sep 11, 2012 ♥Laddie♥ marked it as dnf

Something A Little Different...(In The End A DNF)

ETA 9/11/12:
The decision to DNF this book was a hard one. I tried extremely hard not to feel disgusted with the character of Chase, and for a moment it worked. In the end though I just COULD NOT feel anything but angry with him. The writing in this book is good. Amy Lane has been doing this for a long time and is obviously dedicated to her craft. Unfortunately, the writing, for me, couldn't save this book.

At the beginning of the book I worried abo...more

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Feb 17, 2013 Kate added it · review of another edition

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Warning: This is full of spoilers, so don't be reading through it expecting to find them nicely tucked behind little tags. I'm not going to be careful and try to avoid them.

1250 people have rated this book for a 4.31 average.

I look at that number and wonder why all the enthusiasm. Sure it's Amy Lane. It's full of over the top melodrama, tears, and angsty situations. It has that "awww the poor little baby boys" vibe that Amy books always have. Maybe that's enough? For me, this never rose above t...more

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Feb 28, 2012 Kaje Harper rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: intense, m-m, favorites

Damn you, Amy Lane. I had things to do today, plans, obligations. I had my own writing too, and I left my guys waiting in the middle of a freaking sex scene to finish this book and watch you bring Chase and Tommy safely home.

Chase is a very young man who is trying to be a good person. He tries so hard to do the right thing, while locking his fears and pain and demons away in his head behind a red door. He's gay and he can't admit it, can't even think about it. Then a comment from a friend sugges...more

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Mar 25, 2013 Marissa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: contemporary, ebook, erotic, first-in-series, mm, romance

4.5 stars

WOW! I will try to review this better later, but for the moment, here's all I've got...

Chase & Tommy

”I love you, Tommy Matthew Halloran, like I don’t know if I can love another human being ever.”

This was an, honest to goodness, emotional roller-coaster ride, beautifully visualized, from beginning to end! And all the raw, tortured, passionate and tragic, things that we experience in this book were made SO worthwhile by that splendid, goose-bump inducing happy ending.

I LOVED Chase an...more

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Mar 04, 2012 Valentina Heart rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: glbt, hearts-on-fire

This review was originally written for Hearts on Fire Reviews and can also be found there.

It’s no secret in the publishing world that Amy Lane can write. The topic doesn’t matter, because she will write an angst filled romance with whatever is at hand and just make it shine.

Chase is a young man with so much baggage my heart ached for him. At first glance it might seem as exaggeration, but as you keep on reading, seeing his struggle and his need to be loved and accepted you just have to break do...more This review was originally written for Hearts on Fire Reviews and can also be found there.

It’s no secret in the publishing world that Amy Lane can write. The topic doesn’t matter, because she will write an angst filled romance with whatever is at hand and just make it shine.

Chase is a young man with so much baggage my heart ached for him. At first glance it might seem as exaggeration, but as you keep on reading, seeing his struggle and his need to be loved and accepted you just have to break down right there with him.

Living with a girlfriend and saving money for a house, Chase is a master of lies and wall building while at the same times hating lies the most and needing the closeness without barriers with someone, anyone. He has friends and is loved without really seeing any of it, because all he can focus on is the guilt he feels about his mother killing herself and locking up all the pain deep inside behind those red doors of pain.

Needing the money, he starts acting in porn movies and for the first time he feels free. He lets go and allows himself to be the hidden Chase, the one who enjoys touch of a man and the closeness of co-stars who know more about him than the friends he’s known since childhood. On set he meets Tango/Tommy, another porn star who all but breaks the barriers between himself and the real Chase, who needs love just as much as Chase does and who is not afraid to ask for it. Chase’s life is a house of cards, where lies are aligned one atop of the other and where he keeps on stacking more until Tommy comes and shakes the foundation.

There is pain in this book and I did shed a couple of tears while reading. I had expected more of it, based on the cover and the blurb, but for those of you who don’t like too much angst that should be a good thing. Chase is a man who cheats, and when I say that I do mean excessively. He is making porn, trying things for the first time on screen, while at home he has a girlfriend and on the side a lover, Tango, who has the patience of a saint and is just waiting for Chase to find himself. But despite that, I really didn’t have anything against the cheating. This was one of those books where the writing was so good I didn’t even pay attention to all the stinging lies and scenarios.

The writing style in this one does require some time to get used to it. Amy flips between the past and present, the filming scenes and actual main story timeline. It is confusing in certain situations and it does get frustrating when you really want to know what happens next and not what has already happened. Maybe that was the reason why I did have a few moments during reading where I just took a deep breath and forced myself to continue. The writing just becomes too detailed and too wide and all I wanted was to reach some point, something highly significant to stir things up.

This book is guaranteed to stick with you, whether you had issues with it or not. It deals with the heavy topic of suicide and a gay man living a double life. Today that is not such a hard concept to grasp, as it happens more often than not. To take on such a difficult subject and turn it into a master piece is something only a great author can do. Amy Lane is one of the greats.(less)

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Jun 21, 2012 BarkLessWagMore rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: romance

I’ve only read one novel by Amy Lane and it completely gutted me. I keep meaning to read the rest of her work but something else always gets in the way. When I saw this book available on NetGalley I grabbed it knowing that I’d probably toss everything else in my life aside until I read every last grueling word. And that’s exactly what happened. It’s probably a good thing most books are easier to put down because my dogs would be mighty skinny.

Chase in Shadow is told entirely from Chase’s point o...more I’ve only read one novel by Amy Lane and it completely gutted me. I keep meaning to read the rest of her work but something else always gets in the way. When I saw this book available on NetGalley I grabbed it knowing that I’d probably toss everything else in my life aside until I read every last grueling word. And that’s exactly what happened. It’s probably a good thing most books are easier to put down because my dogs would be mighty skinny.

Chase in Shadow is told entirely from Chase’s point of view. He is a damaged character and will not be someone every reader will love. He’s in a dark, bleak place when the book opens and then the story flashes back a year to explain how he reached such a level of despair. It turns out it was something simmering since childhood but the events of the past year brought all of the pain and ugly to the surface.

Chase is gay but living in denial. He has spent his life refusing to face the truth about himself and has tried to create his idea of a “perfect” life by moving in with his best female friend Mercy. He loves and adores Mercy but not in “that” sort of way but he does a good job of pretending. He lies to himself and to Mercy every day and it is tearing him apart. Needing money to pay his way through college and save for a house he secretly accepts a job as a “gay for pay” porn actor. This reckless move changes his life. He loves touching and being touched in return by the other guys but he can shake it off as just “doing a job”, a fun, sexy and really satisfying job. But then he meets and falls in love with a fellow porn actor named Tommy. Tommy is sweet and wicked and loves Chase desperately. He needs Chase and he has issues of his own and he sacrifices his own well-being to keep Chase in his life. It’s here that Chase’s perfectly built world starts to unravel.

I was off fucking one guy for money and falling hopelessly in love with another guy for no other reason than that he seems to have the key to the door in my soul.

Uh oh. What follows is honest and painful and raw and that’s all I’m saying about the plot. You cannot get more out of me.

Chase lies and cheats and is a bit of a shit to both Mercy and Tommy but he is so filled with self-loathing that I was able to sympathize with him when normally a character like this would have me cursing and damning him to hell. I love that about this book. The characters are achingly real and the author made me feel terrible and heart-broken right along with them. And did I mention the sex scenes? They are as raw (and as well written) as the rest of the story. Even the porn guys become real people not just scenery.

After a long journey out of despair the story ends on a hopeful note but I have a few niggles regarding events near the end that drag it down to a four. Things happen that didn’t quite sit right, though they made me cry, and there will be major spoilers if I don’t shut up now. In the end, I understood Chase, understood why he self-sabotaged himself and did the things he did but I have a suspicion some readers may not. He makes some very bad decisions and is a bit of a train wreck but is still so worthy of love. I recommend this very highly to angst lovers but you should know what you’re getting into. The flaws, the ugliness of life and the pain, it’s all laid out in the open. It’s not easy to read. My heart hurt just as it did the entire time I was reading Amy Lane’s Keeping Promise Rock and that doesn’t happen to me often. I need to read something light and silly next.(less)

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Mar 04, 2012 Monika rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: kindle, mm-romance

I struggled with how to rate this book, again I’m wishing that a ½ star was available. I more than liked this story but not quite really liked it so 3.5 stars is what I give it.

It wasn’t as angsty as I had anticipated it would be, there were a few places where my lips quivered but the tissue box never came out.

The gay-for-pay aspect of the story was good, it helped me understand Chase’s struggle with coming to terms with his sexuality. Even though there were times I really wanted to shake him as...more

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Mar 03, 2012 Tina A rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: own-it

Amy Lane, Amy Lane, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

1. I love the cover of Chase in Shadow. It is more "real" looking than I have seen from you in the past. It is also dark and a little scary-looking. Just like the inside of Chase's mind!

2. I love that you have created more characters that are (to quote Donkey from Shrek) like onions. They appear to be solid, but as you masterfully remove one layer after another, we see that they are made up of thin, sometimes pellucid parts that on...more Amy Lane, Amy Lane, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

1. I love the cover of Chase in Shadow. It is more "real" looking than I have seen from you in the past. It is also dark and a little scary-looking. Just like the inside of Chase's mind!

2. I love that you have created more characters that are (to quote Donkey from Shrek) like onions. They appear to be solid, but as you masterfully remove one layer after another, we see that they are made up of thin, sometimes pellucid parts that only make them appear to be whole.

3. I love that you have given us a behind-the-scenes look into the world of gay porn. Who knew so many of the men involved claim to be straight? That gives a girl hope! You put alot of hot, steamy sex into a book that is at it's heart a story about healing and becoming the person you were meant to be before all the shit in the world surrounded you.

4. I love that you generated men who are true friends to each other. They are able to see through the layers to the solid core an know that in that place is the essence of the man. They know that sometimes the layers, no matter how ugly they are, are worth dealing with to get to the man inside.

5. I love that you brought back Doc Stevenson and his knitting. Only your fans will get him and his Talker reference. It was an appropriate example for him to use with Chase. And it made me smile to remember another set of human beings you created out of thin air for us, your demanding consumers (because we demand that you write more books for us to consume) to love.

6. I love that we see another gay man for whom the closet, however excrutiatingly painful it may be, seems a better place than any other. We see that Chase's inability to conceive of a world without that closet has far reaching effects. Those effects aren't glossed over in an effort to get to the HEA. The work that Chase has to suffer through to be able to become whole is hard to read about. I found myself cheering for him when he wanted to give up and go back inside his head. I found myself wanting to shake him when he wanted to go back inside his head. I found myself crying with him when the door was smashed to pieces in the safety of Doc's office. The pain which causes Chase's (bad) decisions pays itself forward and we are able to witness how it changes everyone in his life. We see the work that they must all do to get to the other side of the havoc that has been wreaked in their lives.

7. I love that not everyone comes around. That is real. It is sad. It is true.

8. I FLOVE that Chase got the bike(s) and the action figure.

Thank you Amy for another novel that falls into many categories, but is very much NOT limited to the M/M genre.(less)

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Mar 14, 2012 WillowBe rated it 3 of 5 stars

Well, it is 200+ pages, so it's got to be filled with something... The thought that this repressed near homophobe self-hating kid would work in gay porn for money is totallly ridiculous. The thing young men fear most is discovery, that their world will come crashing down. And people in closets don't let it all hang out for everyone to see, in the hopes that bec folks ar straight, they won't see any gay porn. So, my buy-infrom the start is kind of low...

BUT! I am reading it and the porn world in...more

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Jan 18, 2013 Jessica rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I had a really hard time rating this book. I think I'm going to have an even harder time reviewing it, but here goes.

The problem is that as a "romance" novel, it kinda sucks... No, I take that back. It doesn't suck. BUT, I do wish that more emphasis had been put on Chase and Tommy. Especially the beginning of their relationship. The week in which they get together is seriously glossed over. The rest of their relationship is tempered by both of their issues, along with Chase having a girlfriend....more I had a really hard time rating this book. I think I'm going to have an even harder time reviewing it, but here goes.

The problem is that as a "romance" novel, it kinda sucks... No, I take that back. It doesn't suck. BUT, I do wish that more emphasis had been put on Chase and Tommy. Especially the beginning of their relationship. The week in which they get together is seriously glossed over. The rest of their relationship is tempered by both of their issues, along with Chase having a girlfriend. How the author managed to make me fall in love with them as a couple and still want to root for them, I have no idea. Normally a book like this where the MC is a cheater (and the "other woman" [or man, in this case,] allows it), just pisses me off. If a person has issues being gay, that's their own problem. They don't need to drag other people into their problem with them. The only thing I can say is that, for me, Lane did an amazing job of allowing me to see into Chase's head at all the turmoil there. I felt that his reason for not wanting to be gay was justified once I found out what it really was. And infidelity aside, he honestly isn't a bad person. He makes some bad decisions, but I feel like that's the point of this story. No it may not be the best romance novel. But as Chase's journey? It's fantastic. He comes a LONG way at the end of the book, which makes the HEA all the more satisfying.

I definitely liked the last 1/3 of the book better than the first part. Once Chase finally comes out and starts to make progress, I REALLY emotionally connected with it. I was so heartbroken for Chase and everything that he's been through, and I was glad that both he and Tommy got the help they needed. Even if it does come on the heels of a (view spoiler). But then, with as much time and effort as Chase puts into making sure he doesn't have to deal with his problems, nothing short of that would have been enough to get him to face them. His therapy sessions were the saddest part of the whole book for me, along with how Tommy deals with Chase (view spoiler). The session in which Chase finally acknowledges to himself why he really didn't want to be gay had me bawling like a baby. It was horrible.

From a technical standpoint, I thought Lane glossing over the porn scenes as flashbacks was ingenious. When your already dealing with an MC that has sex with both his girlfriend and his boyfriend, the last thing you want to do is throw in all the work sex on top of that. I give her points for that one.

There were a couple of things that I thought were a bit out there though. First, the way Chase handles coming out felt really weird to me. He was eerily calm for someone who had just (view spoiler). Also, the (view spoiler) was maybe not necessary. If it had played a bigger role in the story, maybe. But the way it was written it wasn't important enough that taking it out would have really changed the ending all that much. I guess it was just supposed to complete their HEA.

I'm not going to end this review by recommending or not recommending this book. I feel like it's too polarizing. You're either going to love it or hate it. All I can say is that, for me, it was a good read. I don't know if I would necessarily label it a romance, so if that's what you're looking for, this may not be the book for you. But, if you want to read a well-written story with a HEA at the end, this one definitely fits the bill.
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Sep 03, 2012 Gwenith rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I LOVE THE METOPHOR USED IN THIS BOOK..AND THE FREAKING CHARACTERS THAT AMY LANE COMES UP WITH...

"The Doc was so perfect!

Chase & Tommy~ Oh my gosh sweet, sweet ,sweet!

OKAY SO WHEN I STARTED THIS BOOK IT TOOK ME A WHILE after 50% of the book TO WARM UP TO CHASE. I DID NOT READ BOOK 1 (SUPER SOCK MAN) ,SO I JUST DID NOT GET HIM...BUT OMG, HE IS FREAKING ADORABLE...SWEET AS ALL GET OUT, YUM.

Mercy~

OOOOH MERCY~I NEVER LIKED THAT ONE~ I JUST WANTED HER TO GO AWAY AND SHE JUST DRAGGED ON IN THE B...more

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Apr 16, 2012 Ezinwanyi~For you, Agron (Mira, Crixus, Gannicus & Spartacus) rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: ezinwanyi, ezinwanyi-s-bookstore, m-m, romance

Phew!!!!
This one was a very emotional read. M-M have the same emotional hangups that every other relationship have.

I knew going in that this book was going to be an emotional ride. But Dang!!! I was just sad a lot. With that said, I enjoyed this book a lot and found myself exhaling the breath that I didn’t know that I was holding. If you enjoy reading books that unravel like peeling an onion, then you will love this book.

Chase Summers is a college student pursuing an engineering degree. He liv...more Phew!!!!
This one was a very emotional read. M-M have the same emotional hangups that every other relationship have.

I knew going in that this book was going to be an emotional ride. But Dang!!! I was just sad a lot. With that said, I enjoyed this book a lot and found myself exhaling the breath that I didn’t know that I was holding. If you enjoy reading books that unravel like peeling an onion, then you will love this book.

Chase Summers is a college student pursuing an engineering degree. He lives with his girlfriend Mercy, and they are struggling to pay bills and save for a house down the line. One day, when his friend mentions that a local a gay porn company named Johnnies is hiring for really great pay, Chase decides to try it out for the “money”. Chase has been struggling with his sexuality, what he is versus what he should be and this new job allows him to have the best of both worlds.

Chase is a master at compartmentalizing his feelings since he was a young boy because he has been a victim of a great deal of emotional pain. His mother committed suicide when he was six years old and his father had always treated him with contempt. Chase decides that he can do the job and later go home to Mercy. This job will allow him to fulfill some fantasies while allowing him to save up enough money for the real future he planned to have with Mercy.

There at Johnnie’s, Chase mets Tommy Halloran, and each encounter at Johnnie’s peels a layer away from Chase’s facade, threatening to expose the core of Chase’s emotions. What will happen when both worlds collide? And which reality will he chose? The effort it takes to maintain his separate life take a toll on him and he eventually decides he can’t take it anymore. His choice was a painful one.

The author did a great job in letting each character tell their story so you feel bad for all involved. This topic was difficult for me because while you feel for the characters, the lies and deception affect others as well. It makes me sad to think for every Chase out there, there are five who don’t find the strength to fight. It is a harsh reality, the judgments that our society levies on us regarding love and partnerships. But to me, Mercy was equally a victim and I wish Amy Lane would have shared Mercy’s story as she did with Chase. But this story was really powerful and the writing was superb. I am glad the ending was a good one. I felt some sense of closure. But there should be a follow up!

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May 10, 2012 Jenn rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m, angst-drama, cheating, jerry-springer-or-oprah-ready, mc-is-a-tool, wtf-moments, i-borrowed

I had to really push to finish this book. I don't think I can recall a book that had so much piled up angst or crappy situations for the MC's. Unfortunately, I felt zero sympathy for the characters & found myself rolling my eyes at several points. For me, one dramatic situation after the other book ended by tears loses its poinancy. I can't empathize for the situations because there isn't any rise and fall. It just feels a bit manipulative for the reader to feel bad for the characters. Unfor...more

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Mar 04, 2012 Lara rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: m-m, angst-loving-whore, tear-jerker, dreamspinner-press, 2012-new-releases, kindle-lendable

Wah hoo! A bike! Finally a bike AND action figures AND video games and expectations and joy!

Ok, after trying and failing to come up with a review, I will just stick with a rating of 3.5 stars. There are so many others that have done excellent reviews, so I will defer to them. Sad thing is, I agree with both the 5 star reviews and the 2 star reviews. I love me some Amy Lane and I live for angst, but simply put this one was just TOO MUCH for me. For me, it wasn't angsty, it was nerve wracking. It...more

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Apr 07, 2013 P.A. Lupton rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: best-books-i-read-in-2012

I am still reeling from this book. If Goodreads would give us more stars, I’d give them all to Chase in Shadow, but I guess I have to settle for just five measly stars. It somehow doesn’t feel like enough though.

I loved this story so much I want to tell everyone to read it, but I feel I need to put a warning here first. This is an m/m romance. There are a lot of m/m sex scenes and they are pretty descriptive, so if you have a problem with that you probably won’t like the book. If you don’t have...more
I am still reeling from this book. If Goodreads would give us more stars, I’d give them all to Chase in Shadow, but I guess I have to settle for just five measly stars. It somehow doesn’t feel like enough though.

I loved this story so much I want to tell everyone to read it, but I feel I need to put a warning here first. This is an m/m romance. There are a lot of m/m sex scenes and they are pretty descriptive, so if you have a problem with that you probably won’t like the book. If you don’t have an issue with that, you are in for a treat. This is one of the best character driven novels I’ve read, especially for an erotic novel. It’s not often you find an erotica novel with such great character development and a really good story too. This book had both. I loved all of the characters, but my heart broke for Chase. If anyone hasn’t read an m/m romance but wants to try one, this is a really great book to start with. It’s probably one of the best I’ve read in the genre.

When I first started reading I wondered why a man in this day in age would hide being gay. There really is no reason for it. I'd like to think that people are more accepting now than ever, but I’m not a gay man so I wouldn’t really know. The more I read, the more I understood why he hid, and it wasn’t for the reasons I expected. And his choices led to a devastating fall out.

At first, I hated what he was doing to his fiancée. I wanted to dislike him for that alone, but how could I when he hated himself way more than I ever could. The fact that he knew what he was doing to her was wrong, and that he cared for her so much, just made the whole situation sadder. He wasn’t a selfish character. Chase was the complete opposite of selfish, in fact, but he made some really bad choices. I also wanted to hate him for what he was doing to Tommy, but again I couldn’t. It was impossible not to feel for Chase and I just wanted him to be happy. And when I finally saw how Chase ends up with that razor blade to his wrist I understood, but still I was hoping something would save him. I don’t want to spoil it because once you get to that part the story really gets good. I can’t tell you what happens, but I will say this book was so emotional. You will need some Kleenex when you read it. It will break your heart into little pieces, but it will also put it back together again and you’ll be glad you read it. I know I am.

I am a new fan of Amy Lane and I will be reading a lot more of her work, starting with Dex in Blue, which is book two in the Johnnies series. I just found out about it, I thought Chase in Shadow was a stand-alone, so I am giddy right now. I definitely recommend this book to anyone who loves a good, heart wrenching love story with a bit of angst.
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Oct 06, 2012 Kazza rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: bought-it, challenge-book, angst-beyond-belief

I read this book because it was chosen for me in a Bookholics Anonymous reading challenge. I’ve gone to read Amy Lane on a number of occasions and I’ve balked every time. This time my hand was forced, and I’m glad it was; thank you Talya. I enjoyed Chase in Shadows, by and large. There are so many good, more concise reviews on GR. These are my thoughts on Chase in Shadow.

The absolute basics –

Chase is living with his girlfriend, Mercy, they are young. Mercy works. Chase is at college. He is 20 tu...more

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Apr 12, 2012 Connie rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: m-m, tearjerker, arc-galley, romance

to say it was a hard book to read is an understatement. It left me emotionally drained.
but it's Amy Lane, so she can break my heart all she wants basically.
Chase is so broken, so insecure. Afraid of who he is, what he wants. Afraid of becoming a failure.
So many regrets. So many lies.
Tommy has issues of his own but I felt in love with him with their first goodnight kiss.
I felt sorry for Mercy, poor girl was just a victim of it all. I can't hate Chase for what he did, it was just his way to cope...more

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Feb 25, 2012 ~♥I_Luv_2_Read♥~ rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I held no illusions going in that this book would make me sob like a baby. It's by Amy Lane and so that's just a given. She has a way of making her characters real, vivid, and alive! I feel every angsty moment. I was so surprised when I was halfway through and didn't even have a misting of the eyes. I thought I was gonna get through it unscathed...Yeah, NO! It was a slow buildup to the tears, but cry I definitely did.

I don't have the skills to give this a review it deserves. I'll just say that I...more

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Mar 04, 2012 Sadonna rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: mm, pdf

So I started this book when it came out, but I was having a particularly bad week and decided I'd be a completely useless mess if I continued on, so I left it until the last couple of days. I finally finished it this evening and I feel a little bit wrung out and a little bit satisfied.

Wow. This is yet another soul searing story from the master, Amy Lane. Our boy Chase is spectacularly fucked up - something that is not immediately apparent - well maybe it is, but the reasons aren't. Chase thinks...more So I started this book when it came out, but I was having a particularly bad week and decided I'd be a completely useless mess if I continued on, so I left it until the last couple of days. I finally finished it this evening and I feel a little bit wrung out and a little bit satisfied.

Wow. This is yet another soul searing story from the master, Amy Lane. Our boy Chase is spectacularly fucked up - something that is not immediately apparent - well maybe it is, but the reasons aren't. Chase thinks if somehow he can be perfect - perfect girlfriend, perfect degree, perfect college athletic career - he can somehow "make up" for what he perceives as his fault for the singularly most horrific event in his short but messed up life. Just one HUGE problem with that plan. He's gay but can in no way admit that without destroying his carefully orchestrated plan to "fix" everything.

Then he meets Tommy - at his "gay-for-pay" porn job that he takes when money gets tight. And his illusions are shattered because he finally lets some of the truth about himself and his past out. It's heartbreaking to watch Tommy and Chase try to figure their way through the unraveling mess that is Chase's life. Chase is so good at lying to himself and his girlfriend. But he can't lie to Tommy which hurts even more and adds more guilt to an already overflowing bathtub.

The imagery in this book is powerful. The door in Chase's head and heart, the red water - it adds to the urgency and pressure on Chase's increasingly fragile pysche until he snaps. Then the hard work begins.

There were several things I didn't see coming and I really liked that. I also like that characters from other Amy Lane stories appeared in this story. I cried in the strangest places in this book - not sobbing crying - just tears running my down my face because of the pain in these characters.

I hope there is another story for these characters. Well I know at least Donnie and Yandro are going to appear in Super Sock Man - but I'd love to see more.

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Sep 17, 2012 Anke rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Apr 07, 2013 Bree Cheese rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommended to Bree Cheese by: Julia

Shelves: contemporary, m-m, erotic-romance

4.5 stars. The Angst-o-Meter was reading extra high for this one! Even though I wanted to find a puppy to hug after the first 1/3 of the story, I actually ended up enjoying wading through the gut-wrenching, emotional, tar-thick waters of the book. My only criticism is that the time jumps were giving me a bit of whiplash.

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Mar 03, 2012 Cayce rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: m-m

4 stars.

I could tell who wrote Chase in Shadow just by reading it. No need to check the author's name on the cover. Everything about it screamed Amy Lane. It couldn't be anyone else who wrote it. And I like that she has this very recognizable style.

I think this was a little like The Locker Room or the Talker(there was even a tiny bit of connection to it!)books, but not as sad. I managed to finish it without crying.

This book has things in it I just loved:
Tommy/Tango - absolutely loved him, he was...more

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Feb 26, 2012 Jaime rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: my-favourites, m-m-reads

Oh wow, another angst filled Amy Lane book...can't wait to read this! And the cover is fabulous!

like 3 likes · see review

Oct 12, 2012 Christina rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: best-love-story-ever, damaged-soul, emotional-read, erotic, favorites, hottest-erotic, love-story, intense, m-m, made-me-cry

4.5 Emotional Stars

A very haunting, emotional book. Yet so very beautiful as well. There are so many words I want to use to describe this story...Beautiful, love story, tragic, damaged, lovely, passionate, haunting, intense, tear jerker, heart wrenching, consuming and breathtaking.

This is a book about coming to terms with one's past and future. And becoming the person you so want to be. Chase has been hiding his true self and sexuality forever to try to please everyone else. He has a troubled p...more

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Nov 17, 2012 Lirajean rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: mm-romance, recent-favorites, lirajean-s-sexy-series-challenge

This was amazingly well done. Bravo. The quintessential modern romance. The thoughtfulness and intelligence and rich emotion put into this story by the writer was obvious.

It bordered on being a little darker than I typically enjoy but it can't always be about hearts and flowers, thank god.

You really know you're experiencing well developed characters when you know how they're going to react to stress and heartbreak. Their actions and reactions make sense. They live and breathe right in front of...more

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About Amy Lane

Amy Lane dodges an EDJ, mothers four children, and writes the occasional book. She, her brood, and her beloved mate, Mack, live in a crumbling mortgage in Citrus Heights, California, which is riddled with spiders, cats, and more than its share of fancy and weirdness. Feel free to visit her at www.greenshill.com orwww.writerslane.blogspot.com, where she will ride the buzz of receiving your e-mail u...more

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Quotes from Chase in Shadow

“God. No wonder it was so easy. He’s been bleeding since he was a baby. He just never told anyone. How do you even know it hurts after all that time?” Because you loved me, and I knew what it meant to feel.” — 12 people liked it

“Now about this turtle.
I think I’m gonna name it Oliver.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because he’s leaving little turtle poop ‘Oliver’ his terrarium.” — 7 people liked it

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Chase in Shadow (Johnnies #1)

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