Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “The Normal Bar: Where Does Your Relationship Fall?” as Want to Read:
The Normal Bar: Where Does Your Relationship Fall?
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

The Normal Bar: Where Does Your Relationship Fall?

3.29 of 5 stars 3.29  ·  rating details  ·  162 ratings  ·  42 reviews
Based on an unprecedented survey of the romantic lives of more than 100,000 people, most of them in couple relationships, "The Normal Bar" identifies what is "normal" for the most satisfied partners, and provides effective tools for shifting one's normal if one so desires.
This book's team of expert authors uses a powerful interactive survey tool known as OnQ to compare re
Hardcover, 272 pages
Published December 26th 2012 by Crown Publishing Group (first published September 25th 2012)
more details... edit details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about The Normal Bar, please sign up.

Be the first to ask a question about The Normal Bar

This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Add this book to your favorite list »

Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 444)
filter  |  sort: default (?)  |  rating details
A very quick read, much faster than its 290 pages would indicate.

I was drawn to this book after seeing the authors on the Today Show one morning... they fielded a large number of surveys using an online questionnaire, so I thought there might be some wisdom in here.

The premise is similar to the "7 habits of highly effective people" or whatever the name was... ask people who are happy in their relationships about their habits, and you'll find the Magic Key to Relationship Happiness. It's very beh
Malin Friess
So what is normal in a relationship? Not what is right and wrong, but what is statisically normal?
These PhD's collected data from 70,000 couples to answer that question:

65% of women would get plastic surgery if they had unlimited money (45% of men would).
22% of couples said they have never had a heated argument (48% have one weekly)
61% of men and 60% of women find their jobs rewarding
54% of couples read their partner's e-mail

The statistics goes on and become more graphic (who sleeps in the nude,
Elena (Gone Bookserk)
A Gone Bookserk Perspective

'Normal Bar' whatever that means. Well, actually, the books says the Normal Bar "provides you with a compass and a toolbox so that you can get as close or as far away from normal as you see fit." What are the tools in the toolbox, you ask? They are: 1) Just You and I; 2) How Well do I know You?; 3) It takes two to tango; 4) Form a Book Club of Two; 5) Rules of the Game; 6) The Three-Prong Romance Test; 7) A Gift with a Twist; 8) Block Dating Tip; 9) Let's Bring Back t
Firstly, I'd like to thank Goodreads and everyone who had a part in the creation of this book for giving me the opportunity to win this remarkable book to read on my own. It is filled with detailed accounts, problems, suggestions and statistics. It definitely soothes worries over relationship blunders, helping the reader to understand just how common the problems are all over the world. Very conclusive, creative, touching on what must be every possible subject. This book is great self-help, leav ...more
I expected so much more out of this book. The concept (thousands of people responding to surveys about their relationships) had me hopeful that the book would be more about the findings and a more scientific approach to analyzing those findings. I was disappointed that it reads much more like a self-help book with simplistic recommendations and cheesy cartoons.

The conclusions the authors make about what it takes to make a relationship work and what's normal seem overly simplistic for the amount
I don't know how exactly how much I believe all the information in this book but I did find it interesting and I did enjoy reading it.

I received this book free from GoodReads FirstReads program.
The New Normal is not asserting that their IS a relationship normal for everyone, but rather shares what other people are saying on a variety of relationship topics and where the averages lie, and what comes out as "norm" in the various results in many cases does surprise. It took me much longer to read this book than it should have, many months actually, for a variety of reasons, but that has no bearing on the quality of book this is. On the one hand its style is casual and friendly and easy to ...more
"The Normal Bar" gives percentages of what people answered to questions such as "What kind of parent do you think your partner is?" "Do you hold hands with your partner?", etc. It covers all the normal things that effect, money, housework load, children, etc. and gives you an idea if you are in the norm or not on these issues.

I like that the book has statistics from many different countries. It was interesting to see that views on some things did vary by country.

I would say
Jan 20, 2014 Elizabeth rated it 2 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: as light reading
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Spurious. That’s the word I would use to describe The Normal Bar. First of all, bar is such a cold and unwelcoming metaphor. I hear it, and I don’t think love relationships. The “tools” at the end of each chapter are also utilitarian and kind of masculine to me. When they started discussing prongs, I was like, are we building a house or a love relationship? The metaphors were so technical. We’re talking about normality. Why not use a more accessible i.e. gender neutral i.e. normal metaphor? Perh ...more
I picked this up because I love statistics, and thought this would be an interesting read based on the scope of their study and their methodology. Unfortunately, it didn't really live up to their own hype. The way they said they were presenting their research wasn't how they laid it out. It was simply a presentation of facts and statistics (which isn't all bad, but not how they said they were doing it). So, I was disappointed because it really wasn't any different than what you might read in Rea ...more
I found a lot of things in this book very interesting. But a few things really bugged me. Enough to rather turn me off to the book in general. First of all, reading the book, there were several conclusions made that seemed awfully biased. With what information they SAID they based their conclusion on, it sure didn't seem like they had enough evidence. (With some of the conclusions, I even wondered if I had accidentally skipped a page. How did they come up with that answer based on THAT informati ...more
I'm actually slightly disappointed in this book. It really wasn't what I thought it was going to be and left me wanting for sure!

I liked knowing how people answered the survey but I wish it would have done even more to provide incite into how to fix issues you may be having in your relationship than just reiterating me data I could have just read.
This book was informative, and it does provide some good advice on how to make a relationship stronger; however, I found the many facts and stats to be a bit dry and repetitive. I did learn a few new ideas on communicating with my partner, which is really useful. But I found that a lot of the questions in the survey had no applicable answer. So I didn't know if I should just skip the question or pick the closest answer, even if it didn't fit for me at all.
Overall, I'd say that it is great for pe
This book was informative, and it does provide some good advice on how to make a relationship stronger; however, I found the many facts and stats to be a bit dry and repetitive. I did learn a few new ideas on communicating with my partner, which is really useful. But I found that a lot of the questions in the survey had no applicable answer. So I didn't know if I should just skip the question or pick the closest answer, even if it didn't fit for me at all.
Overall, I'd say that it is great for p
A very interesting approach to a book on relationships - it's all about the data. I thought that for the most part it was enjoyable and got a few good ideas from it, however it is a very dry statistical read that the authors try to spice up with some fairly generic "Redbook" prose.
This was an interesting and pleasant book that my husband and I listened to on a trip this past spring. While the book did spur some discussion for us, it is not one I would recommend as a "marriage manual" or something to help those trying to improve or enrich their relationship. The authors merely look at what the majority answers are to all varieties of questions, and take that for what is "normal". That does not necessarily equate to what is healthy or meaningful, which can be a very individ ...more
This is a very interesting take on relationship advice: crowdsourcing. The statistics were fascinating, but they got a little overwhelming by the end. The cartoons scattered throughout were generally funny and informative, but some of the charts were a little too cute in format. The content was interesting, but the presentation was a little forced. In general, it was a worthwhile read, and I recommend it.
Thought this would be more interesting than it actually was. The authors did an online survey about relationships and then shared with you "the new normal" and then hoped it would help you make your marriages better. But it seems to me that "normal" or "average" marriages aren't doing so hot, and I'd rather be a lot BETTER than "normal".
This book helps to distinguish THE norm from YOUR norm with respect to your love life. What's important is YOUR norm, how to get to it and be comfortable in it. The book is great for helping figure all of this out. It's quite interesting to read all the other norms and comparing your own norm to them.
While I thought this was an easy quick read, I really felt like it was just 270 pages of statistics. There was nothing that really surprised me about the data, and I'm not sure I got a whole lot out of the book. Skip the 270 pages...the consensus: more sex = better relationship, duh!
Thought this would be interesting and it appealed to my statistical sociology side, but this book is filled with philosophies on how the world views relationships, and lacks any instruction on how spirituality and morality can strengthen your commitment. Adult content.
I got this from the library and liked it. It talks about improving the "normal" in your relationship. There are easy fixes you can start making today to maybe improve things with your partner. I have started making little changes and think things have improved.
Molly Panzer
This was very good and pretty readable. A lot of statistics that took me awhile to process. We have been married nearly 39 years and together for over 41 and I could definitely use some of the information. I, however, feel very lucky in the partner that I got.
Ashley Burton
It was really interesting to read the responses to the survey and learn about the trends in relationships both good and bad. It wasn't really a fun read though, it was basically narrating the results of the survey.
I was expecting more science, more data, and more studies. Instead, it was "our poll showed this, so here is our opinion."

The poll part was interesting, but the opinion part, not so much.
instructions.... don't work so well if you don't 'get it'. more important than this worthless book is: communication and being in love. everything else should follow.
Annie Guzzardi
Obvious, just a bunch of stats that the authors tried to make interesting with cartoon drawings. A waste of my money, and I don't often say that about a book.
A peek into the alternate universe of others' relationships that led us to feel better about our own! Some of the secrets people reported just blew our minds.
Megan Brennen
It is a bunch of stats and rules on what is a "normal relationship". Found it to get confusing and way to many rules. It shouldn't be that hard.
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 14 15 next »
topics  posts  views  last activity   
Have you tried the high five tool that is listed in The Normal Bar? 1 2 Feb 26, 2013 03:33AM  
  • The Anti-Education Era: Creating Smarter Students through Digital Learning
  • Recover to Live: Kick Any Habit, Manage Any Addiction: Your Self-Treatment Guide to Alcohol, Drugs, Eating Disorders, Gambling, Hoarding, Smoking, Sex, and Porn
  • Sexism in America: Alive, Well, and Ruining Our Future
  • Thinking in New Boxes: A New Paradigm for Business Creativity
  • Forever Barbie: The Unauthorized Biography of a Real Doll
  • Where There Is Love, There Is God: Her Path to Closer Union with God and Greater Love for Others
  • Mission to Mars: My Vision for Space Exploration
  • The Life and Times of a Black Southern Doctor
  • Minority Bolshevism
  • Mom, Dad, I'm an Atheist: The Guide to Coming Out as a Non-Believer
  • The Lean Mindset: Ask the Right Questions
  • What Orwell Didn't Know
  • Facebook Marketing: An Hour a Day
  • Zombie Felties: How to Raise 16 Gruesome Felt Creatures from the Undead
  • Scrumban And Other Essays on Kanban Systems for Lean Software Development
  • In Search of the Miraculous: Healing into Consciousness
  • Yoga for Grief Relief: Simple Practices for Transforming Your Grieving Mind and Body
  • Treat Your Own Neck
The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples and What They Reveal About Creating a New Normal in Your Relationship Wer zusammenhält, ist weniger allein: Von glücklichen Paaren lernen Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples and What They Reveal about Creating a New Normal in Your Relationship

Share This Book