The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies

May 14, 2012 Jenn rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: zombies

The Girl's Guide to Dating Zombies gives the reader an interesting view of a world where human males are all but extinct, but domesticated zombies are the next best thing. Personally, I think the world would have been more realistic if most of the women started batting for the same team and vibrators were to chicks what sports cars were to men. But we're in the world o' zombs, and any sense of reality must be suspended.
While I enjoyed this alternate reality, I felt the author spent a bit too muc...more

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Feb 12, 2012 Emlyn Chand added it

Ahhh, zombies. They’re stupid, but they sure are cute… and sexy. Wait, what?! Yeah, I totally just called zombies sexy. I mean, give them a little zombie Viagra, and they’re good to go. They make fantastic boyfriends. They even appreciate shoe shopping! Who needs human men, am I right?

Lately, it feels like zombies are as annoyingly ubiquitous as vampires and werewolves. We’ve read so, so many stories about them that one more feels like redundant torture. Enter Lynn Messina with her refreshing, c...more

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Jul 29, 2012 Chick Lit + Wine rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: chick-lit-and-wine-must-reads

Zombie sex. Eww. Yes, author Lynn Messina warns this is the first reaction. And, yes she makes the good point that with no men left there’s little choice. But I’m still going to put it out there. Eww. With a capital E.

The Girl’s Guide to Dating Zombies is a fun, quick read that’s so bizarre I have to recommend if only because it’s like no other book I’ve ever read. It’s not scary like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, but it’s definitely high on the weird-list.

After a virus turns nearly 100% of m...more

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May 03, 2012 Amanda rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: indie-challenge-2012

There seem to be more and more zombie books out there here lately. It takes a little bit more than the usual than the typical "zombie outbreak" book for me to be interested. The Girl's Guide to Dating Zombies did not disappoint! Lynn Messina tells a fresh and funny story on what women should do if every man they have known has turned into a reanimated lump of flesh.
I didn't really know what to expect when I cracked open this book, but what I got was a few hours of pure entertainment.
Hattie Cross...more

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May 01, 2012 Sapphyria rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This witty and quirky novel opens up in the year 2020. The female population is 100% human; the male population? Not so much. Over the course of the last 20 years, the human male population has dwindled to around a quarter of million specimens after the H1Z1 variant Y zombie virus wiped out the majority of the males on earth.

Hattie Cross, newspaper columnist, has written a book titled "The Girls' Guide To Dating Zombies." With the male population nearly zero but an overpopulation of zombies, Hat...more This witty and quirky novel opens up in the year 2020. The female population is 100% human; the male population? Not so much. Over the course of the last 20 years, the human male population has dwindled to around a quarter of million specimens after the H1Z1 variant Y zombie virus wiped out the majority of the males on earth.

Hattie Cross, newspaper columnist, has written a book titled "The Girls' Guide To Dating Zombies." With the male population nearly zero but an overpopulation of zombies, Hattie has written this book to help women come to terms with the zombies, and attempt to domesticate them as well. What we end up with is a unique look into the lives of a zombie population that lives among human without eating their brains--they prefer your pets so don't leave Spot out unattended.....

Zombies in the year 2020 have a lot going for them. There have been medicines and drugs created to help integrate them into a more regular human life. The pharmaceutical company, Zombaceuticals, has prepared many types of these drugs for zombie beautification/humanization purposes; Zombreeze - a scent sanitizer; Zombilay - a skin firming serum; Zombiagra - for those moments of passion (Yeah, I said it....moments of passion? With a zombie?.....Not that desperate but thanks!) There is even a drug to control behavior called Zombicol. It looks like they've thought of everything.

There are a couple different story lines threaded throughout "The Girls' Guide To Dating Zombies," and they are expertly written and easy to follow. First there is the guide to dating zombies and then there is the conspiracy that Hattie is convinced begins within Zombaceuticals. Add in a 100% human male and Hattie becomes a drooling, stuttering, clutz.

Hattie is an excellent main character. She's managed to look at the bright side of the zombie apocalypse and make something of the situation. Dating zombies isn't my ideal way to looking at the cup as half full but hey...to each their own. The filler characters play their parts well but I would have loved to see Jake a bit more.

Sarcasm, hilarity, and oh so awkward moments abound in Ms. Messina's zombie masterpiece. The romantic elements are minute so as to not overshadow the main theme. If you love zombies then you'll love this very different approach to this genre and character type.

(Book provided at no cost by tour promoter, in exchange for an honest review).(less)

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Apr 24, 2012 Liz at Fictional Candy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: zombie

This book is crazy. This book is hilarious. This book is an alternate universe where the reanimated don’t tear us to shreds, but rather live with us in harmony. This book is Carrie Bradshaw during an apocalypse outside a bar after getting sauced on black martinis smoking a menthol cigarette beneath a broken out street light. I loved it!

So the year is 2020. The H1Z1 variant Y zombie virus has come along and wiped out nearly the entire male species. Yep, this virus turns only those with the Y chro...more This book is crazy. This book is hilarious. This book is an alternate universe where the reanimated don’t tear us to shreds, but rather live with us in harmony. This book is Carrie Bradshaw during an apocalypse outside a bar after getting sauced on black martinis smoking a menthol cigarette beneath a broken out street light. I loved it!

So the year is 2020. The H1Z1 variant Y zombie virus has come along and wiped out nearly the entire male species. Yep, this virus turns only those with the Y chromosome into the “reliving”. Sure, there are some men, actual living men left. About 300,000 of them worldwide. So yeah, take your pick, right?

Hattie Cross is a journalist. Well, she rights a column for the Scoopage and has turned it into a book, The Girls’ Guide To Dating Zombies. According to Hattie, women can now date zombies. Modern medication has made it possible. All hail pharmaceuticals!

Seriously, this book is a fun book. There’s a bit of satire in it, which just makes it awesome. You will learn new terms like Zombitrex, Zombreeze, Zombolay WearRepair Serum, Zombie Breezulator 2600 and many more! What? You’re not hooked yet?

How about this – zombies are more perhaps a better suitor to us than men! Granted, they are still way into football; so much that there is a channel devoted to showing only football. But now they like to dance, listen to you, and best of all – they like shoes. Oh yeah! Not just wearing them, or seeing them on you, but honest to goodness shopping for shoes!!!!!!!!

“Choosing a boyzomb comes down to two factors: appearance and personality. Ideally, you want to look for one who has retained fifty percent of his facial feature, which is to say at least one eye and half a nose. Limb retention is also important. Arms are optional, but legs are vital if you want to retain any semblance of an independent life.”

I really enjoyed this book. It was light and fun, a fresh breeze of a story with Hattie’s life interspersed with chapters from her own book, The Girls’ Guide To Dating Zombies. She is funny and impulsive at time. And when she meets an actual living, breathing man named Jake, hilarity ensues.

Maybe I have been regarding the zombie apocalypse all wrong. Maybe we don’t need to train and learn how to use weapons. Maybe we don’t need to evacuate to colder climes. Maybe everything will be ok. Maybe rehabilitation and medication are the answer.

Seriously, if you want an entertaining read, then this book is definitely for you. I urge you to give it a try. Read it with an open mind, and be ready to giggle, chortle, guffaw, laugh, and maybe even shoot your beverage of choice out your nose. Enjoy!(less)

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Apr 22, 2012 Jessie Morgan rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

It's a rare thing when you find a book that is so witty, so charming and so incredibly funny that you dare not drink and read at the same time, for fear of spewing all over your brand new kindle. The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies is one such book. Half is written like a self-help brochure, designed to guide romantically-minded but clueless women toward making a factually informed decision on navigating the perils of dating the zombified. As everyone knows, it's far better to be in a committed r...more

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Apr 14, 2012 Sophia rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: dystopian-apocalyptic-futuristic

At the risk of annoying the author because I might have gotten the voice of this story all wrong, I’m just going to say that I enjoyed this book when I just relaxed and didn’t take it seriously as I had to really work to wrap my mind around this very creative story. The book is uniquely written in that it is sort of two books in one. There is the main storyline and then that is interrupted by excerpts from the ‘how-to’ guide that the main character wrote. I found this ‘guide’ a hoot. I offer thi...more At the risk of annoying the author because I might have gotten the voice of this story all wrong, I’m just going to say that I enjoyed this book when I just relaxed and didn’t take it seriously as I had to really work to wrap my mind around this very creative story. The book is uniquely written in that it is sort of two books in one. There is the main storyline and then that is interrupted by excerpts from the ‘how-to’ guide that the main character wrote. I found this ‘guide’ a hoot. I offer this tip: do not read this in public if you have a quirky sense of humor and an embarrassing laugh that you are shy about (because you will guffaw and draw attention). The main story line is also quirky and humorous at times (okay a lot of the time), but in this I caution that I did get a little squeamish when zombie eating and personal habits were part of the story (yeah, if it were true that we lost all the male population to a disease that turned them into zombies, I’d be single and celibate). That’s actually the premise of the book which leads me into talking about the plot.

The story opens about 20 years after this horrid disease sweeps the world leaving only about 300K males who are not infected while the rest become zombies. So what’s a girl to do? Hattie Cross journalist for a sensationalist rag with aspirations for writing at a serious paper writes a how-to guide to women about making lemonade out of lemons. She herself has perfected techniques for dating zombies and shares it.
The notoriety Hattie gains from her book gets her on a morning news show and helps draw her to the attention of the talented head of the world’s largest zombie pharmaceutical corporation who specialize in drugs that enhance the zombies: Zombreeze a scent sanitizer, Zombilay a skin firm serum, Zombiagra for erectile dysfunction, Zombicol for behavior modification, etc. Hattie is offered a chance to tour the company, interview the employees, and get the coveted interview with the head and scientific wonder gal, Matilda Stanfield. The corporation is even now testing a new drug that will have the effect of leaving the zombie with the ability for simple thinking and speaking. Hattie’s boss at the paper is over the top excited and is always looking for proof of government conspiracies and out-there stories. She promises to run Hattie’s big Zombapocalypse story when Hattie turns in a good interview.
During the tour, Hattie meets her first non-zombie male, Dr. Jake Maddox. It is epic. She partied hard the night before and comes to her tour and interview wasted. Yes, folks, she vomited all over the nice handsome male doctor.
The story continues with Hattie and her reporter’s sense digging in to a few intriguing facts that lead her to the biggest cover-up ever known. Naturally, this is dangerous and leads to a fast-paced second half of the book which I will not spoil for all the quirky types who plan to read this.

Though the story does plunge into some serious moments, most of the characters are just fun to get to know. Hattie is the ultimate girl-survivor. She takes this devastating loss of men and makes something of her circumstances. She is surrounded by a posse of friends who also do more than make the best of things. They’re great when they all get together. Then there is Hattie’s mom. The older generation has it the hardest because they have strong memories of what the world was once like and are appalled by this attitude of moving on. Not Hattie’s mom, she’s appalled when Hattie doesn’t share about her new boyzomb. Jake Maddox at first appears to be a stuffy scientist, but he has a few surprises up his sleeve when Hattie meets up with him on another occasion.

The only thing that struck me as a disappointment (other than my squeamishness at times) was the lack of more scene time between Jake and Hattie. I would have liked to see more of them together. I thought they were great together and felt my interest double when Jake was present. Unfortunately, he only has a few scenes so the romance is not the mainplot. The story is told entirely from Hattie’s point of view making the book mostly about Hattie.

Again, I caution you, for optimal enjoyment, I recommend not taking this read too seriously. This is a futuristic ‘what-if’ tale and is for someone looking for something very different from their normal routine reads. After finishing it, just sigh with relief that the planet is still populated by non-zombie men (or not, if you’re still mad at your other half for some misdemeanor or other).
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Apr 09, 2012 Vanessa theJeepDiva rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2012, blog-tour, ebook, chick-lit, zombies

Guess what happens when Some Like It Hot, Zombieland, and Sex in the City get all mixed up and turn into a book…The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies and it is a must read. This book has too many great elements to list so I’m giving you the short list, humor, conspiracy theories, a mad scientist looking for world domination, girlfriend hanging out and talking boyzombs, and of course a happily ever after. I didn’t think I was going to get a happily ever after here and I got a surprising interesting...more Guess what happens when Some Like It Hot, Zombieland, and Sex in the City get all mixed up and turn into a book…The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies and it is a must read. This book has too many great elements to list so I’m giving you the short list, humor, conspiracy theories, a mad scientist looking for world domination, girlfriend hanging out and talking boyzombs, and of course a happily ever after. I didn’t think I was going to get a happily ever after here and I got a surprising interesting one.

99.9999% of all human males succumbed to the H1Z1 variant Y plague twenty years ago. Men are now zombies. Hattie was only six years old when this happened. She has no clue what she is missing. She’s bright, young, witty, and a silver lining type of gal. To make the most out of an impossible situation she has written “The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies.” There are enough zombaceuticals on the market that it is not as eww of an experience as one would think. She has also been given the assignment of a lifetime by the paper (tabloid rag) that she works for… a profile on the top zombaceutical empires CEO.

I enjoyed reading Hattie and her impossible situation. The impossible situation is not suffered by only Hattie. Every heterosexual female who wants to have sex with a breathing man is affected. While reporting on her new assignment she uncovers so many shocking things that she doesn’t know what to do any longer. Some of the shockers have her bumbling and fumbling at every moment. Some of the secrets she uncovers has her running for her life. I also enjoyed that between chapters, readers a given a chapter of “The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies.” This just made the book even funnier.

The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies doesn’t fit into any genre perfectly. It is mostly chic-lit, but readers are given a nice mix of suspense and romance with their small helping of humorous zombie apocalypse. I recommend this to any reader who enjoys chic-lit yet would like to dip their toes into the zombie apocalypse pool.
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Apr 05, 2012 Chrystal Rose rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This particular book interested me because while of course it's fiction, it's also about dating. Yayyyy dating! And even better it's about dating zombies, how can you not find that to be interesting??

So essentially in this book, author Lynn Messina has created a world where the zombie virus only affects men (women are immune) and they aren't cannibalistic. Um--yes please can we get some of this virus?? There are also only 344,923 men estimated to be left on the planet and "your chances of gettin...more This particular book interested me because while of course it's fiction, it's also about dating. Yayyyy dating! And even better it's about dating zombies, how can you not find that to be interesting??

So essentially in this book, author Lynn Messina has created a world where the zombie virus only affects men (women are immune) and they aren't cannibalistic. Um--yes please can we get some of this virus?? There are also only 344,923 men estimated to be left on the planet and "your chances of getting hijacked by a terrorist, being staked to a bamboo pole in the Heilongjiang Province of Inner Mongolia and having your spleen eaten by a saber-tooth tiger are eight times greater" than meeting one of them.

First of all, I think that's how women feel about men in general. The majority are d-bags (zombies), so they'd rather settle for one of them than attempting to meet the impossible unicorn a la Mr. Right.

The main character Hattie Cross is regarded as an expert to dating zombies, she knows how to turn a falling apart, drooling, grunting specimen into primo dating material. Apparently when dating zombies there aren't any games or guessing. What you see is what you get and you can domesticate a zombie to your liking. However when asked by the media Hattie skirts around the subject of having a boyzomb of her own. Hmmmmm...

The only issue I had with this book was that the few men remaining were living in the lap of luxury. What the--?? I mean, I know it's realistic that the minority of men would make demands and insist on getting everything they want but-- hellloooo women are in charge now! Those men should have been used as slaves/cabana boys and breeding purposes!

I really loved the writing style in this book Lynn does an amazing job at sucking you in and maintaining interest with her fun, light tone. While this book is fiction based on Hattie's character, she includes "excerpts" from Hattie's expert dating guide to zombies. Overall a fun/cute/quirky read I'd highly recommend.(less)

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Mar 20, 2012 J.L. Campbell rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

STORYLINE: It’s 2020 and a virus has all but wiped out the human male. His replacement is the zombie. Hattie Cross writes a book The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies, which catches the attention of the CEO of the largest supplier of ‘zombie-behavioral-modification’ drugs in the world. Hattie is invited to do a feature on the company, meets that rarest of creatures – a real, live man – and gets up to her neck in a conspiracy theory. If her suspicions are correct, the course of history will change,...more STORYLINE: It’s 2020 and a virus has all but wiped out the human male. His replacement is the zombie. Hattie Cross writes a book The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies, which catches the attention of the CEO of the largest supplier of ‘zombie-behavioral-modification’ drugs in the world. Hattie is invited to do a feature on the company, meets that rarest of creatures – a real, live man – and gets up to her neck in a conspiracy theory. If her suspicions are correct, the course of history will change, assuming she can survive long enough to share her discovery.

PLAYERS: Hattie Cross is an ambitious tabloid reporter who wants to write more meaningful articles than the trashy stuff she writes every day. She innovative and resourceful and proves this through her book that opens her woman-based society to the possibilities of human/zombie relationships.

Jake Maddox is a scientist, Hattie’s love interest, and part of the remaining 0.00001 percent of men who aren’t zombies. At first introduction, I wasn’t sure what to make of him, but he turns out to be an all right guy.

I LIKED: Hattie’s voice and her approach to the world that is her reality. Yes, dating zombies has many drawbacks, including them losing digits, and their disturbing feeding habits, but Hattie manages to make the ‘eeewww factors’ sound not-so-nasty.

Even though I was grossed out, the writer made the book fun to read by running Hattie’s story parallel with chapters from The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies.

Hattie shows her creativity at the end of the novel by writing another ‘how-to’ book that helps sisters navigate the new dating possibilities that opened up thanks to the main storyline.

I COULD HAVE LIVED WITHOUT: the writer’s description of all the zombie stuff – the physical descriptions, their habits and levels of putrefaction. She painted too-vivid pictures which I’m still seeing and smelling – ugh!

OVERALL COMMENTS: This is my first full zombie read and Ms. Messina made it a fun experience. The story starts off at a sedate pace and then moves up to a sustained gallop at just past the half-way mark. The light-hearted tone works well for the story, despite the nefarious activities that go on. I’m a fan of writers that can make me laugh and would definitely read other books by this writer.

COVER NOTE: I’m not a fan of graphic covers, but this one does capture the essence of the book. The trailer is funny and complements the book perfectly.

SOURCE: I received an advance review copy through Novel Publicity.
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Mar 05, 2012 Michele Stefanides rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Picture it—New York City 2020, twenty years post-zombie apocalypse. There is barely a man alive. Oh, there are males everywhere, but since the onset of the zombie plague in the year 2000, a variant strain of a zombie virus has turned just about every male on earth into a zombie. Women have been reduced to domesticating zombies or living without anything approaching male companionship.

That’s where Hattie Cross, a reporter for a National Inquirer-type newspaper comes in.
Hattie has perfected the ar...more

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Mar 02, 2012 Molly rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: everyone

Recommended to Molly by: NovelPublicity

Shelves: book-review

Okay. So, honestly? I was WAY iffy about reading this. But, then I thought, what the heck. So, I gave it a shot and signed up to review this book. Boy, was I ever in for a hilarious treat! SERIOUSLY!!!! Lynn Messina has topped the charts in my book with a laugh out hilarious "guide" for women who want to date.....zombies?! Yup. Zombies. And her compilation of information is informative. Truly. If I ever feel the need in say, 8-10 years to date a zombie, well then, I know where to turn!

This laugh...more

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Feb 22, 2012 Sheryl Steines rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I expected chick lit. I expected a love story. The type of books I don’t reach for first. And then a pile a bricks fell on my head. Okay, I wasn’t that surprised, maybe one brick hit me in the face. But when I pulled it off and dusted myself off, I was very pleasantly surprised.

Hattie Cross writes for a tabloid in a world after the worse blight known to humankind. Most men in the world have been exposed to a virus that turned them into zombies. You could laugh here. Zombies unable to communicate...more I expected chick lit. I expected a love story. The type of books I don’t reach for first. And then a pile a bricks fell on my head. Okay, I wasn’t that surprised, maybe one brick hit me in the face. But when I pulled it off and dusted myself off, I was very pleasantly surprised.

Hattie Cross writes for a tabloid in a world after the worse blight known to humankind. Most men in the world have been exposed to a virus that turned them into zombies. You could laugh here. Zombies unable to communicate beyond grunting, lack any hygiene and are only content when they watch the 24 hour football game. Call it kind of ironic and funny.

So what’s a modern girl in the year 2020 supposed to do? Who do we date when there are only 300,000 real human males alive on the planet? Well date a zombie of course. And Hattie is the expert having written the ultimate guide to dating them, where to meet them, how to care for them, feed them, medicate them.

And then Hattie has the opportunity to meet and interview her idol, Mathilda Stansfield. The brilliant woman who started the drug company which developed the drugs that allowed the zombies to live a “normal” life. You know, drugs to suspend the loss of body parts, the meds which keep zombies from eating human brains, and the fresheners that keep the decomp smell from overpowering the sensed making women pass out. Hattie jumps at the opportunity to meet the woman returned some normalicy back to the world.

This is where I had the most fun trying to beat Hattie to the conclusion. I tried to figure out the secret of the virus, of the drugs, of the woman behind them. I was half right and pleasantly surprised by the ending.

I’m not a fan of chick lit. Why should I spend my time reading about the life I’m already living? I want to read and be entertained which is one of the main reasons I like fantasy. And The Girl’s Guide To Dating Zombies, as awful as a virus that kills half of the world’s population would be, it seems funny in this setting, this particular virus. I couldn’t wait to find for the ending. I hoped Hattie would find what she was looking for and I cheered when she did.

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Feb 21, 2012 Shah Wharton rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: romance, zombie, comedy, satire

MY REVIEW
I read this in around two nights. At the beginning I wasn't exactly sure what I thought of it. It struck me as a Bridget Jones Diaries for a post apocalyptic world in which all men (or rather 99%) are now zombies. Not the dangerous cannibalistic type, but the rotting and shuffling animal brain type. As the title suggests, this is a 'How to...' guide for women, detailing how one might go about dating a zombie, using various medications to prevent smell, rot and overeating, amongst other...more

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Feb 18, 2012 Nicole Henke rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This was a fairly new experience for me reading a book about Zombies. I have only read one before and it was quite a different story. I have to admit I was a bit apprehensive - thinking about Zombie sex --- Ewwwww! Indeed, but I, as always, was up for the adventure this book was. After just a few chapters I knew I wouldn’t stop till I got the “scoop” from tabloid writer Hattie Cross.

The book is well written, the characters, non-zombies, are quite likeable and it was interesting how the author in...more

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Mar 06, 2012 Alicia rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2012-books-read, 2012-reviews

This book proved to be a little tricky for me. I expected to laugh, and I did laugh. My favorite parts were the the chapters of the guide mixed in. They were hilarious! However, the thought of having sex with a zombie made me want to throw up in my mouth - Hattie warned that might happen! I just can't get past it. I know zombies are the new thing, right next to vampire and werewolves, but zombies decay. Gross! Although, I admit it would be nice to be in 100% control of a relationship.

The year 20...more

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Mar 02, 2012 Michelle rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Girls

Shelves: e-book, fantasy

More interesting and amusing than I expected! A cute read.

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Feb 27, 2012 Lissette rated it 5 of 5 stars

A plague has decimated the world. Men are practically extinct, sort of. Those that have survived and aren't zombified live in the lap of luxury while the rest have been transformed into complete zombies. This has left every woman on Earth to take matters into their own hands in hopes of rebuilding the world as they know it.

While doing so hasn't been easy, the survivors have been able to make do with they've got. They've also learned to co-exist with their zombie-ish friends, a fact made quite cl...more A plague has decimated the world. Men are practically extinct, sort of. Those that have survived and aren't zombified live in the lap of luxury while the rest have been transformed into complete zombies. This has left every woman on Earth to take matters into their own hands in hopes of rebuilding the world as they know it.

While doing so hasn't been easy, the survivors have been able to make do with they've got. They've also learned to co-exist with their zombie-ish friends, a fact made quite clear in Hattie Cross's book, The Girls' Guide To Dating Zombies. Sure, there's an extensive list of things to do in order to live peacefully with one of these beloved ghouls but I'm sure you're up to the task, aren't you? If Hattie can do it, then surely, so can we!

Let's face it, the thought of being with a zombie might sound appalling, but there are now measures to counterattack their rapid decay. The myriad of drugs now available will allow you to slow that process down considerably. Can't stand the smell emanating from these reliving corpses? No problem! There are creams for that. Want to keep him happy? Let him watch football 24/7. Seriously, he's content to just sit in front of the tube and grunt right and left to his heart's content.

Intimacy with one isn't a problem either as there are medications that make that possible between the both of you. Let's also not forget that by giving him a bite to eat of the occasional animal brain whenever he's hungry will make him appreciate you all the more. Of course, also learning their language ensures you'll have a successful relationship, as well. It's that simple, I swear!

Hattie Cross never imagined she'd gain such notoriety when she decided to write the The Girls' Guide To Dating Zombies. She considers herself lucky when she inadvertently piques the interest of the CEO of the largest drug company around. Granted, Matilda isn't easy to get know because of her busy schedules and the little entourage that follows her around but Hattie is willing to give things a shot and see how they go. Who knows? Perhaps the woman will help her in getting ahead somehow.

Her entire world is soon thrown into limbo when she meets Jake Maddox, the first healthy male she's ever seen in decades. The sight of him boggles her mind and sends her senses spinning as she finds herself drawn to him in more ways than one. Yet there's something about him and Matilda she can't quite put her finger on. Delving deeper into the mysteries surrounding the company and Jake himself, Hattie stumbles upon truths she wishes she'd never become privy to in the first place.

This was such an awesome story. I enjoyed every minute of it. The comedic spin on several things from the real world was awesome and it leant credibility to how things could be if such a calamity were to actually arise one day. The characters were very likeable and the situations that Hattie occasionally found herself in were certainly relatable.

Lynn did a beautiful job in building the environment for her story and the extensive research that must have gone into it certainly comes through. I definitely recommend this book to others for reading.(less)

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May 02, 2012 Jody rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Imagine a world where men have been virtually wiped out of existence leaving females in control of everything and those few remaining men becoming a valuable commodity. It leaves a girl's social life in the dumps and leaves her with only zombies to keep her company in this humorous and clever story.

Most of the zombies we've seen thus far have been deadly and blood curdling scary, but in this story they've been tamed and soon become a girl's best friend thanks to Hattie Cross' new dating guide. H...more

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Mar 22, 2012 Lauren Murphy rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Hattie Cross is a reporter for the Daily Scoopage in the post-apocalyptic 2012, twenty years after a plague zombified almost all of the male population. With human males a rarity, Hattie shares her dating woes in her book, The Girl’s Guide to Dating Zombies. Throughout the novel, snippets of Hattie’s guide are revealed for the single woman on the lookout for a zombie boyfriend. From learning Zombese to speed dating at a zombie slaughterhouse to domesticating zombies and choosing well preserved s...more Hattie Cross is a reporter for the Daily Scoopage in the post-apocalyptic 2012, twenty years after a plague zombified almost all of the male population. With human males a rarity, Hattie shares her dating woes in her book, The Girl’s Guide to Dating Zombies. Throughout the novel, snippets of Hattie’s guide are revealed for the single woman on the lookout for a zombie boyfriend. From learning Zombese to speed dating at a zombie slaughterhouse to domesticating zombies and choosing well preserved suitors (i.e. with all their limbs!) and of course shedding light on the controversial topic of ZOMBIE SEX (eww!).

When Hattie’s success sparks the interest of the biggest zombie pharmaceutical company in the world (i.e. zombaceuticals) grant her exclusive access to the company, she realises they have a lot more power in society than she bargained for. But Hattie is conveniently distracted from the conspiracies when she meets her first human male, Jake Maddox. Hattie then has the dilemma of promoting a book about dating zombies, when she can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to be with a human.

I actually laughed quite a bit during this book, especially when I read the zombie excerpts from Hattie’s book. Besides the fact that I heaved every time I thought about zombie sex, Hattie seemed to make it sound like the most normal thing in the world. It was amusing seeing Hattie struggle with her feelings for Jake. Their relationship was a little superficial, given the only reason I can fathom for her liking him was the fact that he was a human. But hey, if I had a choice between the last man on earth (who happened to be a hot scientist) then I probably wouldn’t think twice about choosing him over a zombie either.

This book was described as Zombie chic-lit which is a fairly good depiction but there’s also humour, crime and suspense thrown in for good measure. The Girl’s Guide to Dating Zombies is a laugh out loud book about a very unrealistic world, but the author has a witty writing style that makes anything fun and believable. I have Messina’s Little Vampire Women sitting on my TBR shelf and now that I know that I like her work, I will surely pick this one up sooner to read.
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Mar 04, 2012 Kate added it · review of another edition

THE GIRLS GUIDE TO DATING ZOMBIES, by Lynn Messina, is a totally unique take on zombies and female-world domination. In this book, a virus wiped out a majority of the male population, turning them into zombies, but not the human-brain eating type. With the help of zombaceuticals, the men in the world could be altered to look better, smell better, and even, ahem, perform better. Hattie Cross is the author of a how-to for dating zombies. Since there are no "real" men left (those who are are practi...more

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Mar 23, 2012 Laura Roberts rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: chick-lit, fiction, goodreads-giveaways, humor, paranormal, parody, zombies, 2012

My favorite zombie movie is definitely Shaun of the Dead, as I'm not big into the typical zombie tropes of gross-out, mindless shambling and over-the-top gore, but I AM big into parodies thereof. Maybe it's the fact that, ultimately, zombies are a parody of humanity, which means that a parody of a zombie story is a meta-parody?

But I digress.

Lynn Messina's "The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies" comes from a similar place of silliness. The stereotypical brain-eating zombie has here been limited to t...more

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Feb 01, 2012 Erin rated it 4 of 5 stars

From the title you know this book involves Zombies. These Zombies are slightly different then the old school come-from-the-ground to eat brains or even more recent virus-infected dead but reanimated flesh Zombies (although they hold the most semblance with the latter). These Zombies or Boyzombs, were once men that luckily only have a craving for animal brains, not human. Oh, and you can date these.

Lynn's book is a clever twist on zombie fiction. Never before have I read or watched a zombie rela...more

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Apr 16, 2012 Marie Ealing rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Note: We received a copy of the book from the publisher for review purposes.

I have been trying to come up with a way to describe this book in a few words and I think that I finally have it: ridiculously funny. The book is quite well written and even though beyond the dating zombies’ idea the plot is not exactly original, the story is so well presented that it makes the reading enjoyable. And last but not least, it’s refreshing.

It’s the year 2020 and twenty years ago a disgusting disease plagued...more

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Mar 09, 2012 Frederick Brooke rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Since this is the year of the zombie I've been reading one or two zombie books a month, and watching a few zombie movies, too. When I saw that The Girl's Guide to Dating Zombies was part of a blog tour hosted by Emlyn Chand's Novel Publicity, I jumped aboard. For those who haven't been following closely, we've gone way beyond classic zombie stories of a few survivors holding out in a bunker somewhere, trying to make their way to some place rumored to be safe. That's gotten a bit old. That was so...more Since this is the year of the zombie I've been reading one or two zombie books a month, and watching a few zombie movies, too. When I saw that The Girl's Guide to Dating Zombies was part of a blog tour hosted by Emlyn Chand's Novel Publicity, I jumped aboard. For those who haven't been following closely, we've gone way beyond classic zombie stories of a few survivors holding out in a bunker somewhere, trying to make their way to some place rumored to be safe. That's gotten a bit old. That was so yesterday.

So it's not only the year of the zombie, it's the year of the zombie spoof. The Girl's Guide to Dating Zombies is both a great place to start for people who have never read a zombie book, and might also be good fun for veteran zombie fans.

It's the year 2020, and the zombie virus that hit exactly 20 years ago targeted, tragically, only humans carrying the Y chromosome. You guessed it. All men became zombies within three weeks of being infected. With disastrous results for women -- can you imagine?

Our heroine in the story, Hattie Cross, was only 6 years old when the plague hit. She's never had a boyfriend in her life. A resident of New York, she works as a journalist for the Daily Scoopage writing articles of questionable authenticity and maximum headline value. Hattie was a natural for writing The Girl's Guide to Dating Zombies. Promotional activities for her new book make her something of a celebrity, and catch the attention of the largest zombie pharmaceutical company in the world, Geiser & Meyser. They make huge profits producing drugs which make zombies smell nicer, help them avoid putrefaction, and improve the quality of their skin.

Soon she is interviewing the charismatic and mysterious CEO of the pharma company and doing research for her next investigative scoop on the murky history of drug development in the era of the zombie era. There follows action and drama and even a few clashes between zombies and humans, but as in many zombie stories, the real conflicts end up being between humans and other humans.

The plot and the denouement are satisfying in Girl's Guide, but what I really loved was the light satirical touches all the way through. "Without medication, zombies would be a chaotic force on society the way, say, a schizophrenic would be." Or when the exchange continues:

"According to reports, Geiser & Meyser has a drug in the pipeline that will actually regenerate neurological growth, making zombies capable of rudimentary thought."

"Thinking zombies?" Delia asks. "That sounds like science fiction."

"I know. It just goes to prove that with the right drug regiment, there's no reason why a zombie can't be the perfect life partner," I continue.

Consider that zombies in this brave new world can be put in front of Super Bowl III on an endless loop (New York Jets vs. Baltimore Colts) and be happy, 24 hours a day. When Hattie tells her new zombie date a little about her job, her apartment, and her family, "he listens and grunts appropriately, not saying much, which is no surprise. Most zombies are the strong, silent type."

Starting to sound like someone you know? This book was hilarious ("a scream") all the way through. I really enjoyed it and highly recommend it.

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Apr 26, 2012 Kristi (Books N Beans) rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: free, funny, futuristic, humorous, paranormal, romance

Bear with me for a minute while I explain this one. The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies by Lynn Messina is a book about Hattie Cross, the main character, who wrote The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies. So it's a guide within a guide. Maybe that sounds confusing, but it's really not. Lynn is the author (and real), Hattie is the character (and fictional). Still with me? Great!

Lynn's book starts off with a section from Hattie's guide, and then it jumps over to Hattie's life in the present. The book c...more Bear with me for a minute while I explain this one. The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies by Lynn Messina is a book about Hattie Cross, the main character, who wrote The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies. So it's a guide within a guide. Maybe that sounds confusing, but it's really not. Lynn is the author (and real), Hattie is the character (and fictional). Still with me? Great!

Lynn's book starts off with a section from Hattie's guide, and then it jumps over to Hattie's life in the present. The book continues to give snippets of The Guide in between portions of Hattie's life since writing The Guide.

Imagine if you will a world where all the men, well almost all the men, have contracted a virus that's turned them into zombies. Women run the world! Doesn't that sound like utopia, ladies? Most standards would say this is a dystopian look at the future, however I'm not sure women would agree.

Are you thinking you'd miss the men? You might. Hattie discusses that in The Guide as well, but she also points out that with a few minor (okay, major) differences zombies aren't far off from men. I don't think I could do Lynn's humor justice by reiterating it here, so I just leave you to read it all for yourself. That's a recommendation, by the way.

Lynn's look at a future where women run the world and the men are zombies is funny, witty, and unique from any book I've put my hands on. There's been lots of looks into the future, whether utopian looks or dystopian looks, and none have made me smile and laugh as this one did. It's fun to see the ways that dating in the future still hold some customs that we have today, and yet things could be so much simpler if we could just putrefy all men's brains to that of a zombie's.

Are you concerned about the bad side of zombies? Don't Lynn, err..Hattie, covers that as well. It's all there. So, if you're worried about what the rumored disaster of 2012 will bring, I recommend you pick up Lynn Messina's The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies and prepare yourself.

If you're just looking for a fun book that will entertain with some laughter along the way, then I still recommend you get yourself a copy of The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies by Lynn Messina (and Hattie Cross).

*Disclosure: I received this book for free in exchange for a review*(less)

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Mar 14, 2012 Michelle rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2012-reads

Typical chick lit only with zombie humor thrown in. Unforutnately, I never could get past the zombie sex thing, and I really wish the author had downplayed that aspect rather than refer to it over and over again. It's hard to believe that any woman, even one brought up in an all-female world, would be okay with it(especially when zombie appendages are known to fall off.)

The narrator is likeable, but at times a little too goofy to be believed. Otherwise, the characterization in the book is solid,...more

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Mar 24, 2013 Erin O'Riordan rated it 4 of 5 stars

When a publicist for Lynn Messina asked me if I'd like to read and review this novel, I said yes based on how much I enjoyed Messina's monster mash-up Little Vampire Women. It took me a little while to get around to reading it, but the release of the movie based on Warm Bodies renewed my interest in this charming "zombie chick lit" (the publicist's expression) novel. It was better than I was expecting. Rather than being written in the style of a self-help book, as the title implies, it's written...more When a publicist for Lynn Messina asked me if I'd like to read and review this novel, I said yes based on how much I enjoyed Messina's monster mash-up Little Vampire Women. It took me a little while to get around to reading it, but the release of the movie based on Warm Bodies renewed my interest in this charming "zombie chick lit" (the publicist's expression) novel. It was better than I was expecting. Rather than being written in the style of a self-help book, as the title implies, it's written from the point of view of Hattie Cross, a journalist who has written the self-help book of the title.

In the novel, the human male is a thing of the past. Since Hattie was a small child, all men have contracted a disease that transforms them into decaying zombies. (The one positive is that women fill every position in every occupation as a result of this plague.) They're not usually dangerous to women, since they mistake the human brain for a third kidney, but they feed on animals. With the aid of pharmaceuticals and some patience, women can date zombies, but the experience is completely different from human female-male relationships. Hattie is an expert on the perks of dating zombies and something of a talk-show-circuit celebrity.

Hattie hopes her star will rise even higher when she has the opportunity to introduce brilliant pharmaceutical company maven Matilda Stansfield. Like the clever, resourceful journalist she is, Hattie slowly uncovers a disturbing truth about Matilda and her role in the zombie apocalypse. She's also discovered another interesting complication - Jake Maddox, a living, breathing human male, alive and well and working deep within Matilda's laboratories. Hattie can't help but be fascinated by Jake.

There's romance, adventure, a little horror (this is a zombie novel, after all) and a hefty dose of humor. Readers who enjoy everything paranormal, are sick to death of vampires and haven't yet had their fill of zombies will love this light, breezy tale of terror and redemption.

As you have probably gathered, I received a free e-book copy of this novel in exchange for a fair, honest review, which represents my own honest opinion. I received no other compensation for this review. (less)

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Jan 24, 2012 M.B. Mulhall rated it 4 of 5 stars

What a fun book! I love how chapters of the Guide were mixed into the story itself. There are a lot of zombie books out there right now and this is a nice humorous twist on our favorite brain eating, foot dragging, reanimated humans.

Know why you should pick up this book(besides the interesting plot, the humor and the good writing)? You should pick it up for the zombie sex. Yes, I said sex. S-E-X. With zombies. Zombies who are missing limbs. Zombies who might loose a finger during fornication. Zo...more

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