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You Lost Me

3.9 of 5 stars 3.90  ·  rating details  ·  747 ratings  ·  139 reviews
Close to 60 percent of young people who went to church as teens drop out after high school. Now the bestselling author of unChristian trains his researcher's eye on these young believers. Where Kinnaman's first book unChristian showed the world what outsiders aged 16-29 think of Christianity, You Lost Me shows why younger Christians aged 16-29 are leaving the church and re...more
Kindle Edition, 256 pages
Published October 1st 2011 by Baker Books (first published January 1st 2011)
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(showing 1-30 of 2,011)
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Daniel Threlfall
When a book is packed with numbers, statistics, and solid research data, you should do two things:

1. Buy it and read it, because research is long, hard, and expensive work.

2. Be skeptical, because statistics are slithery things.

David Kinnaman, President of the Barna Group, dishes up some discoveries in this book, hashes through some explanations, and proposes some solutions. As you read the book, you will encounter some thought-generating statistics, and work through some startling findings. The...more
Ross Blocher
The author kindly sent me a signed copy of this book after I participated in a companion video series to the book (http://youlostmebook.com/). "You Lost Me" is about people like me - the younger generation that has been leaving the Christian church in droves. Kinnaman's job as head of the Barna Research Group makes him uniquely qualified to talk about the statistics of belief, and he states from the start that 59% of young people (age 18-29) leave the church.

He breaks these wanderers down into t...more
Jonathan
I found that much of Kinnaman's data and analysis of it resonates with my experience--both personally, and in my understanding of the teens in my youth group. The categories he proposes for people leaving the church (nomads, prodigals and exiles) are very broad, and their appellations can be confusing or misleading unless you read carefully how he defines them.

Overall, I found the book very helpful for the following reasons (non-exhaustive, random order):

1. Careful processing of tons of data int...more
Eddie Lutz
Highly disappointed in this book.

First... the few things that I appreciated. 1) good cultural analysis. I think he rightly identifies the influences on what he terms the Mosaic generation. 2) late in the book he points out a problem with how we segregate ages in the church, and how that is a huge factor that contributes to youth walking away from the faith. I've been preaching this for years. Wish someone would listen.

Second, what I didn't appreciate:

1) The book title itself "You Lost Me!" point...more
Ken Garrett
Nothing too earth-shattering, here, and a bit of intimidation-by-polls, numbers, and by simply no longer being hip. And, the subtitle, "rethinking faith" seems trite. The book lends itself to developing ministries that will attract visitors based on appealing to their personal tastes in worship style, music, location, etc., rather than the often terrifying prospect of committing to the preaching and living out of the gospel itself, and then trusting God to bring whomever He will to a particular...more
Ryan
This book was a very mixed read. Kinnaman offers an incredible amount of statistical research connected to the evangelical church and its numbers. It is a huge resource for any pastor, educator, or church goer interested in recent generations, and the research itself was wonderful. But the theology presented was questionable. Clearly, being from the Barna Group, his theology was going to be very conservative, and I am alright with conservative. But when it begins excluding Christians from the fa...more
Louise
This book (on statistics, no less) made me mad and excited and terrifically engaged. Whether you are a Christian traditionalist or a Mosaic who has left the church behind or anyone in between, you will find some things here to challenge you. My favorite quote came in the final section of "ideas to find a generation." This was written by a college student asked what would help her re-engage with the Christian faith:

"I want you to be someone I want to grow up and be like. I want you to step up and...more
Sean Post
Kinnaman hits a home run here. For such a long time the way Barna Group research was synthesized left a bad taste in my mouth. "unChristian" had the slightest residual hint of that deconstructionist, "sky-is-falling", attitude. However, all such negativism is absent from "You Lost Me". Kinnaman's research is brilliantly synthesized in a way which - I believe - is spot on.

For example, Kinnaman distinguishes between three types of young Christians who are leaving the faith and/or church...

Nomads...more
Luke Brown
This is a wonderful book - very challenging, and yet not negative. It points out great opportunities and possibilities for new growth and reformation to enliven the church. Challenging in that is points out ways that the church has fallen short in creating disciples. People want so much more. I think everyone who cares about young people and who cares about the church should read this book.
Jeff Elliott
Nothing I have read so far has helped me understand ministering to Millennials as well as this book. I like Kinnaman's "unchristian" but didn't find it necessarily helpful. This is the book I should have read.

Notable quotations:
p. 39-the transmission of faith from one generation to the next relies on the messy and sometimes flawed process of young people finding meaning for themselves in the traditions of their parents. Prodigals, nomads, and exiles all have to make sense of the faith conveyed t...more
Jeni Enjaian
I would have given this book four stars if i hadn't been for the last chapter. (I'll get to that in a moment.)

I really did enjoy this book. I'm a bit of a numbers nerd so the research/statistics aspect of this book really appealed to me. Kinnaman did an excellent job at parsing the data and conveying that in an easy to understand narrative. Kinneman also uses relevant examples. He doesn't dwell on the illustrations and often left the illustrations without conclusions. He didn't feel obligated to...more
Go2therock
The message that most stuck with me after reading UN-Christian, was this: in previous generations, the elders could look at the youngers and say, 'Just wait, give them a little time and they'll come to the same lessons and realizations we have. They'll get it." - but this time around that isn't going to happen. I felt pretty demoralized by that thought, while allowing that it just might be the case. This thought has continued to ring in memory as I look at the world around me.

In You Lost Me, Ki...more
Ken Sodemann
This book takes a look at why young people are leaving the church in much higher numbers than previous generations. Note that I said the church, and not necessarily Christianity. Just because someone has left the institutional church behind does not mean they have left their faith behind as well. Some have, some have not.

The book categorizes those who have left into three categories:
o Nomads - wandering from their faith
o Prodigals - have left their faith
o Exiles - feel their faith has left th...more
Kristen
I really liked this book, even if there was a perspective here and there that I didnt necessarily agree with. I found it honest and accurate to my experience with and among the Mosaic generation.
Jason Bruce
Excellent book in understanding the young generation and the current state of Christian Churches. Challenging and thought provoking. Stats and findings are great conversation-starters.
Dave McNeely
This book is very valuable and an interesting read, but Kinnaman's typology is a little thin. A great conversation starter, but could be better.
Andrew
a necessary read for any working in an evangelical church.
Colleenish
I liked this book a very much. It talked about why young adults are leaving the church, something I personally know too much about. I thought that it helpfully put young adults in three categories: those who used to be Christians, but have renounced their faith; those who consider themselves Christians, but rarely go to church; and those who are still Christians and involved with faith communities, but feel exiled from the church.Although I think many young adults swing between these categories,...more
Joel Arnold
I enjoyed this book and it will definitely influence my personal evangelism and discipleship.

Strengths:
- Amazing data. Kinnaman lives and works with statistics and it shows. Hits book convinced me more than ever before that there is a meaningfully significant religious gap among people my age.
- Valid analysis. Unlike Ken Ham's Already Gone, the conclusions Kinnaman draws are generally spot-on. I particularly appreciated his fair, balanced analysis of generation gap, recognizing that it happens b...more
Joon Park
David Kinnaman has written an incredibly honest, important work that conveys the monumental changes in a post-Christian culture where the new generation is telling the church, "You lost me." He has compiled all the common reasons why the youth and young professionals are exiting the church doors. From interviews, research, and personal experience, Kinnaman makes clear the landmark at the crossroads of our faith, where we can choose to embrace the rapid shifts of our world while embracing the tim...more
Bob
David Kinnaman's book You Lost Me is based on extensive Barna Research exploring the reasons a number of Millenials (or Mosaics as Kinnaman likes to call them) have left the church. The book is useful for four areas of exploration.

The first is that of generational distinctions. Kinnaman sees three qualities that mark this generation: access to information, alienation from societal structures and skepticism toward authority. Of these I thought the first the most unique--certainly Boomers experien...more
Suzy
I enjoy research if well-written, and this book certainly is. I don't know how many solutions I gathered from the book (I am a bit cut and dry and do like solutions more than I like questions), but the purpose of the book seemed to be to pose the question, "How should the church today respond to this information?" Our own church is responding initially by asking the same question and promising to reThink church. The crux of the matter is that 60% of those between the ages of 18 and 29 are leavin...more
Harold Cameron
The book, You Lost Me – Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church…And Rethinking Faith written by the President of the Barna Group and author David Kinnaman is sobering and sad to read but it must be read. We can not ignore the truth and reality written of in this book in the hopes that the problem will either somehow miraculously resolve itself or simply go away. The issue or problem WILL NOT miraculously just be fixed like it were a broken gas line on our automobile nor will it just go away, but...more
Elizabeth
This book is a must read for those interested in the future of the church. It was fascinating to hear first-hand from those raised in Christian churches as to why they have left or struggle with the church now. The research was impeccably presented and done so in a manner that was loving and kind to those who both struggle with the institution of Christianity and those within the church.

Personally, this book gave me hope that was long overdue. As an individual who often struggles with having a...more
Eric Chappell
There's a dropout problem in the Church today. The Millenials (what George Barna calls "Mosaics") have significant doubts about the relevance and rationale of Christianity. In this followup to his fabulous book UnChristian, David Kinnaman examines why insiders are leaving Church and gives a voice to the painful, personal stories of young adults.

Ever wonder why many young adults move from mountain top passion in the teen years to being completely MIA as twentysomethings? Kinnaman's detailed, and...more
Fiona
Definitely a recommended read for anyone involved in ministry concerned with the school-leavers to not-married demographics. Kinnaman's research is out of the US but much of it rings true in the peers that I talk to about why they no longer attend church.
The reading is a bit hard going - a lot of figures and survey statements, but the unpacking of these results is usually clear. Kinnaman illustrates his points well with stories that resonate strongly, although some of his dichotomies are quite...more
Danielle
Kinnaman presents research as to why young Christians ages 16-29, who have grown up in the church are leaving it. He examines three groups of people who he terms as Nomads, Prodigals, and Exiles. Nomads still consider themselves Christian but no longer attend church. Prodigals have walked away from their faith, but historical research indicates they are group likely to return to church when they are older and begin raising families. Exiles are Christians but feel stuck between church and culture...more
Rhianna
Mar 05, 2013 Rhianna rated it 2 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Christians
Recommended to Rhianna by: Ross Blocher
Let me be completely clear: I acknowledge that I am not the intended audience for this book. The book has been written for Christians (pastors, youth leaders, etc.) to help them face the decreasing numbers of those between the ages of 15 and 29ish, read stories about why they may have left, and come up with ideas on how to bring them back into the fold. As a happy agnostic, who has zero desire to be brought "back in to the fold" I am not the audience for this book, and a lot of my frustration wi...more
Andrew
This book is a report of poll results, and a discussion of what those results mean for the church. The polls involved were targeted at young adults who were raised in churches and had/had "left." I put "left" in quotes because the definition of "left" in this book is vague, and largely based on rather traditionalist views of what Christianity must be. This is important to note as the authors analysis os the poll results is the primary focus of the book, but is also built on what appears (to this...more
Josh Smetzer
You Lost Me is David Kinnaman’s research and explanations on why young Christians are leaving the church. He categorizes young Christians into three groups (Nomads, Prodigals, and Exiles), explains what each group is categorized by, and gives the reasons for which they’re most prone to leave. He mentions that a large portion of these young Christians are not disillusioned with Jesus, but with the church.

The church has in several ways become disconnected with the young Christians of our day. Sev...more
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“Overall, knowledge of Scripture, doctrine, and church history is poor among most Christians, not just young adult believers.” 1 likes
“The next generation is caught between two possible destinies—one moored by the power and depth of the Jesus-centered gospel and one anchored to a cheap, Americanized version of the historic faith that will snap at the slightest puff of wind. Without a clear path to pursue the true gospel, millions of young Christians will look back on their twentysomething years as a series of lost opportunities for Christ.” 1 likes
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