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You Lost Me

3.89  ·  Rating Details  ·  1,072 Ratings  ·  167 Reviews
Close to 60 percent of young people who went to church as teens drop out after high school. Now the bestselling author of unChristian trains his researcher's eye on these young believers. Where Kinnaman's first book unChristian showed the world what outsiders aged 16-29 think of Christianity, You Lost Me shows why younger Christians aged 16-29 are leaving the church and re ...more
Kindle Edition, 256 pages
Published October 1st 2011 by Baker Books (first published January 1st 2011)
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(showing 1-30 of 2,654)
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Ross Blocher
The author kindly sent me a signed copy of this book after I participated in a companion video series to the book ( "You Lost Me" is about people like me - the younger generation that has been leaving the Christian church in droves. Kinnaman's job as head of the Barna Research Group makes him uniquely qualified to talk about the statistics of belief, and he states from the start that 59% of young people (age 18-29) leave the church.

He breaks these wanderers down into t
Daniel Threlfall
Jan 02, 2012 Daniel Threlfall rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2011
When a book is packed with numbers, statistics, and solid research data, you should do two things:

1. Buy it and read it, because research is long, hard, and expensive work.

2. Be skeptical, because statistics are slithery things.

David Kinnaman, President of the Barna Group, dishes up some discoveries in this book, hashes through some explanations, and proposes some solutions. As you read the book, you will encounter some thought-generating statistics, and work through some startling findings. The
Eddie Lutz
Highly disappointed in this book.

First... the few things that I appreciated. 1) good cultural analysis. I think he rightly identifies the influences on what he terms the Mosaic generation. 2) late in the book he points out a problem with how we segregate ages in the church, and how that is a huge factor that contributes to youth walking away from the faith. I've been preaching this for years. Wish someone would listen.

Second, what I didn't appreciate:

1) The book title itself "You Lost Me!" point
Jan 05, 2012 Jonathan rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I found that much of Kinnaman's data and analysis of it resonates with my experience--both personally, and in my understanding of the teens in my youth group. The categories he proposes for people leaving the church (nomads, prodigals and exiles) are very broad, and their appellations can be confusing or misleading unless you read carefully how he defines them.

Overall, I found the book very helpful for the following reasons (non-exhaustive, random order):

1. Careful processing of tons of data int
Aug 08, 2012 Ryan rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
This book was a very mixed read. Kinnaman offers an incredible amount of statistical research connected to the evangelical church and its numbers. It is a huge resource for any pastor, educator, or church goer interested in recent generations, and the research itself was wonderful. But the theology presented was questionable. Clearly, being from the Barna Group, his theology was going to be very conservative, and I am alright with conservative. But when it begins excluding Christians from the fa ...more
Ken Garrett
Nothing too earth-shattering, here, and a bit of intimidation-by-polls, numbers, and by simply no longer being hip. And, the subtitle, "rethinking faith" seems trite. The book lends itself to developing ministries that will attract visitors based on appealing to their personal tastes in worship style, music, location, etc., rather than the often terrifying prospect of committing to the preaching and living out of the gospel itself, and then trusting God to bring whomever He will to a particular ...more
Jordan Varey
Dec 28, 2014 Jordan Varey rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
As a 30 year old Christian I am very interested in the topic of this book. According to the Barna group statistics there is a drop of 43 percent in church engagement amongst 18-29 year olds who once actively participated. When they leave they take their talent, enthusiasm, and constructive criticism with them. This is a palpable loss for those who remain. "These numbers represent about eight million twentysomething's who were active churchgoers as teenagers but who will no longer be particularly ...more
Aug 12, 2014 Louise rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: spirituality
This book (on statistics, no less) made me mad and excited and terrifically engaged. Whether you are a Christian traditionalist or a Mosaic who has left the church behind or anyone in between, you will find some things here to challenge you. My favorite quote came in the final section of "ideas to find a generation." This was written by a college student asked what would help her re-engage with the Christian faith:

"I want you to be someone I want to grow up and be like. I want you to step up and
J.S. Park
Jan 09, 2012 J.S. Park rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: christian
David Kinnaman has written an incredibly honest, important work that conveys the monumental changes in a post-Christian culture where the new generation is telling the church, "You lost me." He has compiled all the common reasons why the youth and young professionals are exiting the church doors. From interviews, research, and personal experience, Kinnaman makes clear the landmark at the crossroads of our faith, where we can choose to embrace the rapid shifts of our world while embracing the tim ...more
Oct 24, 2015 Peter rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
You Lost Me functions admirably as a discussion starter and awareness raiser for those concerned with the immediate future of the church in reaching and ministering to the Millennial generation. The research is rigorous and applicable, but readers should be aware that Kinnaman is not claiming to have all the answers, but primarily trying to engage Christians in a discussion he believes is critical. He argues that my generation is more distinct from previous generations than other generations hav ...more
Sean Post
Sep 16, 2014 Sean Post rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Kinnaman hits a home run here. For such a long time the way Barna Group research was synthesized left a bad taste in my mouth. "unChristian" had the slightest residual hint of that deconstructionist, "sky-is-falling", attitude. However, all such negativism is absent from "You Lost Me". Kinnaman's research is brilliantly synthesized in a way which - I believe - is spot on.

For example, Kinnaman distinguishes between three types of young Christians who are leaving the faith and/or church...

Bob Buice
A number of studies have suggested that teenagers are some of the most religious Americans, while young adults – in their twenties - are the least religious. Moreover young adults are more likely to believe that Jesus sinned, to doubt His miracles, and to question the resurrection. In “You Lost Me – Why Young Christians Are Leaving the Church”, David Kinnaman offers additional though incomplete, research on this topic. He divides those young people who have left the church into Nomads – who leav ...more
Cathy Cramer
This is such a heavy-hearted topic - why young adults leave the church and/or their faith. I read this book thinking about young friends who have left youth groups.

The author seems to have researched this topic very extensively and found that there are several contributing factors, none of which are very easy to improve. One fact that surprised me was that before the 1960's, young adult children did not break away from their parents' faith en masse as is considered the norm in every generation
Stephen Hiemstra
I dropped out of church when I went to college.

I was neither angry at God nor questioning his existence—
problems closer to home dominated my life:

• I felt lost when our church youth group vanished overnight after the youth director was sacked;
• I felt lost when I failed my college audition for music school;
• I felt lost when the Vietnam draft loomed over me and I had trouble explaining to my parents why fighting in an unethical war was wrong; and
• I felt lost in my singleness at a time when mo
Sep 22, 2015 Tim rated it liked it
Shelves: theology, 2015
Solid research, Offputting Theology

Quite torn on this book. Kinnaman provided very useful data and statistics and generally quite solid analysis from a sociological perspective. On the other hand, he represents in a shocking fashion, and I imagine he didn't even realize this, much of the issues his research shows young adults have with faith. Particularly his aversion to interreligious dialogue and inclusivity. I was quite bothered with his presentation of some of the information as problems per
Luke Brown
Feb 11, 2014 Luke Brown rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is a wonderful book - very challenging, and yet not negative. It points out great opportunities and possibilities for new growth and reformation to enliven the church. Challenging in that is points out ways that the church has fallen short in creating disciples. People want so much more. I think everyone who cares about young people and who cares about the church should read this book.
Jeff Elliott
Nothing I have read so far has helped me understand ministering to Millennials as well as this book. I like Kinnaman's "unchristian" but didn't find it necessarily helpful. This is the book I should have read.

Notable quotations:
p. 39-the transmission of faith from one generation to the next relies on the messy and sometimes flawed process of young people finding meaning for themselves in the traditions of their parents. Prodigals, nomads, and exiles all have to make sense of the faith conveyed t
Jeni Enjaian
I would have given this book four stars if i hadn't been for the last chapter. (I'll get to that in a moment.)

I really did enjoy this book. I'm a bit of a numbers nerd so the research/statistics aspect of this book really appealed to me. Kinnaman did an excellent job at parsing the data and conveying that in an easy to understand narrative. Kinneman also uses relevant examples. He doesn't dwell on the illustrations and often left the illustrations without conclusions. He didn't feel obligated to
The message that most stuck with me after reading UN-Christian, was this: in previous generations, the elders could look at the youngers and say, 'Just wait, give them a little time and they'll come to the same lessons and realizations we have. They'll get it." - but this time around that isn't going to happen. I felt pretty demoralized by that thought, while allowing that it just might be the case. This thought has continued to ring in memory as I look at the world around me.

In You Lost Me, Ki
Ken Sodemann
Feb 18, 2014 Ken Sodemann rated it really liked it
This book takes a look at why young people are leaving the church in much higher numbers than previous generations. Note that I said the church, and not necessarily Christianity. Just because someone has left the institutional church behind does not mean they have left their faith behind as well. Some have, some have not.

The book categorizes those who have left into three categories:
o Nomads - wandering from their faith
o Prodigals - have left their faith
o Exiles - feel their faith has left th
Jul 21, 2013 Kristen rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I really liked this book, even if there was a perspective here and there that I didnt necessarily agree with. I found it honest and accurate to my experience with and among the Mosaic generation.
Jason Bruce
Oct 07, 2012 Jason Bruce rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Excellent book in understanding the young generation and the current state of Christian Churches. Challenging and thought provoking. Stats and findings are great conversation-starters.
Dave McNeely
This book is very valuable and an interesting read, but Kinnaman's typology is a little thin. A great conversation starter, but could be better.
Nov 21, 2012 Andrew rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
a necessary read for any working in an evangelical church.
Taylor Storey
Oh man! this book was simultaneously great, and simultaneously horrible. I am one of the "lost" ones. I was extremely active in the church until age 26 when biblical study forced me out. There are a million reasons people have for leaving the church, the problem is, some of these have substance and others do not. Kinnaman addresses most of them, including the insignificant ones.

If you didn't already know, Kinnaman is definitely writing this from the evangelical, mostly fundamentalist christian
Brian King
Jun 21, 2015 Brian King rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: follow-jesus
If you are a Christian who was born before 1983, then this book should be mandatory reading for you. Kinnaman's examination of the reasons why a generation appears to have walked away from Christianity are worth the price of the book. There are also some very practical sections as well. Kinnaman seems to paint in broad strokes addressing Catholics to Evangelicals and all in between in this work. In conversations with my Millennial peers, I had confirmed much of what he uncovers first hand, and I ...more
Nov 02, 2015 Colleenish rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I liked this book a very much. It talked about why young adults are leaving the church, something I personally know too much about. I thought that it helpfully put young adults in three categories: those who used to be Christians, but have renounced their faith; those who consider themselves Christians, but rarely go to church; and those who are still Christians and involved with faith communities, but feel exiled from the church.Although I think many young adults swing between these categories, ...more
Joel Arnold
Jun 09, 2012 Joel Arnold rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I enjoyed this book and it will definitely influence my personal evangelism and discipleship.

- Amazing data. Kinnaman lives and works with statistics and it shows. Hits book convinced me more than ever before that there is a meaningfully significant religious gap among people my age.
- Valid analysis. Unlike Ken Ham's Already Gone, the conclusions Kinnaman draws are generally spot-on. I particularly appreciated his fair, balanced analysis of generation gap, recognizing that it happens b
Dec 17, 2013 Bob rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: christian
David Kinnaman's book You Lost Me is based on extensive Barna Research exploring the reasons a number of Millenials (or Mosaics as Kinnaman likes to call them) have left the church. The book is useful for four areas of exploration.

The first is that of generational distinctions. Kinnaman sees three qualities that mark this generation: access to information, alienation from societal structures and skepticism toward authority. Of these I thought the first the most unique--certainly Boomers experien
Jun 25, 2012 Suzy rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I enjoy research if well-written, and this book certainly is. I don't know how many solutions I gathered from the book (I am a bit cut and dry and do like solutions more than I like questions), but the purpose of the book seemed to be to pose the question, "How should the church today respond to this information?" Our own church is responding initially by asking the same question and promising to reThink church. The crux of the matter is that 60% of those between the ages of 18 and 29 are leavin ...more
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“Overall, knowledge of Scripture, doctrine, and church history is poor among most Christians, not just young adult believers.” 1 likes
“The next generation is caught between two possible destinies—one moored by the power and depth of the Jesus-centered gospel and one anchored to a cheap, Americanized version of the historic faith that will snap at the slightest puff of wind. Without a clear path to pursue the true gospel, millions of young Christians will look back on their twentysomething years as a series of lost opportunities for Christ.” 1 likes
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