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Better

by Jaime Samms (Goodreads Author)

3.69 of 5 stars 3.69 · rating details · 280 ratings · 55 reviews

After filing charges that put his abusive ex-Dom behind bars, Jesse Turbul relocates halfway across the country, hoping to escape his past—but, of course, it's never that easy. When Jesse meets third-year law student Aadon at the library where he works, their mutual attraction is instant and obvious.

Despite the sparks, they just can't seem to make it work. Aadon is mired i...more

ebook, 1st Edition, 240 pages

Published January 27th 2012 by Dreamspinner Press

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Best M/M Romance Published in 2012

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Feb 05, 2012 Ami rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: mm-contemporary, mm-romance-or-erotica

WARNING: these scenes might be disturbing for some readers: self-cutting, talk/history about rape and molestation, drug use, and abusive relationship.

....

I need to take a whole night to think about this book. Because it's emotionally draining. I have read several stories by Jaime Samms, though I think this is her 'longest' to date. It deals with some serious issues and it packs a punch!! Forget the 'warning' of BDSM/Kink that Dreamspinner put on this, there is NOT A SCENE on that. This novel is...more WARNING: these scenes might be disturbing for some readers: self-cutting, talk/history about rape and molestation, drug use, and abusive relationship.

....

I need to take a whole night to think about this book. Because it's emotionally draining. I have read several stories by Jaime Samms, though I think this is her 'longest' to date. It deals with some serious issues and it packs a punch!! Forget the 'warning' of BDSM/Kink that Dreamspinner put on this, there is NOT A SCENE on that. This novel is mainly dealing with two people who have baggage in their life and how they are working through that.

Jesse survives from an abusive relationship. He has submissive tendency but his previous Dom practically taken his will, and Jesse ends up being broken, beaten, and messed up. He has scars as testament of that horrible relationship. While Aadon is dealing with his older brother, Ricky, who is in rehab for drug abuse, which ruins his body and mind. Some readers might think the drama is too much (few times I also think so) but I also find it engaging. I always prefer stories that are complicated anyway, when not everything is happy dory.

What I like THE MOST about this story, is how Ms. Samms portrays Aadon as not perfect. I mean, it's easy to describe Aadon as strong and patient and his love alone will be able to 'fix' Jesse. I believe that is one common thing with this kind of plot anyway. INSTEAD, Ms. Samms makes Aadon as vulnerable as well. Where he just can't handle it, when it's just too much, we have scenes where Aadon needs to talk to his brother's therapist. He admits that he's angry and that he's afraid. Often stories focus on the 'victim' but not on the support system. Aadon is practically the 'support system' for his own brother and Jesse, and he realizes that he might also need help on that.

As for Jesse, he definitely grows stronger ... and I admire him for it. At first, he thinks that by going away he is fine; that he can handle it. Later Jesse knows that NOT talking about it, doesn't mean that it's not going away. And he can also see how his attitude affects the people who love and care for him.

"My secrets hurt a lot of people, and me most of all. The more I say it out loud, the less power it has to hurt me.... The people who do understand can help me stop it. Knowing that I helped to make it so that he can't do it to anyone else, makes me feel less like a victim, and more like I matter."

Both Jesse and Aadon might still have to work on the relationship, and they have far to go. There are a lot of talkings in this story, as well as the push and pull because each man do not trust themselves enough at times, too caught up with their problem. Jesse is scared about letting Aadon in, Aadon fears that he's hurting Jesse all over again. But I can see them getting stronger in time. Because I believe in Aadon when he says this ...

"What I can't do is ever let you go. I am too far into you to ever get out. I'll have to move in with you, because I already need to breathe you like air."

Yes, I'm tired, but I'm also satisfied. I am aware that the kind of drama is not for everyone though. Personally, I think this is most definitely Jaime Samms's BEST yet.

PS: The plot does remind me of another story with similar theme, but I can't remember what it is *shrugs*(less)

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Jan 31, 2012 Lauraadriana rated it 4 of 5 stars

Recommended to Lauraadriana by: Virginia

Shelves: love-conquers-all, m-m

Very touching, emotional and well told love story dealing with the damages of sexual abuse

Jesse is 21, a third year college student, who is still living with the trauma of having been brutalized by his partner two years earlier. He was young, inexperienced, thought the man understood his needs, and would give him what he desired with care and love. He was so wrong, what he got instead was such cruelty and abuse that it completely broke him. Even when that beautiful law student Aadon approaches h...more

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Jan 29, 2012 Virginia rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: content-bdsm-lite, genre-mm, fiction-contemporary, 2012, favorites, content-heartbreaking-angst, hot-beautiful-cover, content-cg

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. There are three things I can always count on when reading a Jaime Samms book: 1) I'll need a box of kleenex, 2) It will be a much more realistic portrayal of real life than most books I read and 3) It will be well written.

In this book, we have Jesse who is a couple years past a so-called dom who he had trusted when he was new to the scene and who had abused him. We see him still struggling, emotionally, to move on. He was a cutter during his difficult time and hides his scars. He wants to move o...more There are three things I can always count on when reading a Jaime Samms book: 1) I'll need a box of kleenex, 2) It will be a much more realistic portrayal of real life than most books I read and 3) It will be well written.

In this book, we have Jesse who is a couple years past a so-called dom who he had trusted when he was new to the scene and who had abused him. We see him still struggling, emotionally, to move on. He was a cutter during his difficult time and hides his scars. He wants to move on but it's obviously difficult. Along comes Aadon who has his own demons to deal with. Aadon has an older brother in assisted living from having been sexually abused as a child and buried himself in drugs to escape doing long term damage. Aadon's brother is now a shell of who he used to be and Aadon's parents have abandoned him leaving Aadon being his brother's only familial link. The two MCs have a lot of heavy stuff they are dealing with.

Jesse is in his 3rd year of college and Aadon is getting is law degree. When they meet, there is instant attraction. With a little pushing, Aadon asked Jesse out and Jesse goes determined to put his past fears behind him. That's easier said than done given his level of trauma. Because of Aadon's brother, Aadon picks up on clues about what Jesse has gone through and early in their relationship Jesse shares with Aadon enough for him to understand. Aadon then works to not push Jesse too far too fast.

This book is not about a magical overnight recovery that sometimes you see in books. This is a slow recovery for both MCs. Jesse has to eventually work to a point where he shared everything that happened to him when he was abused, some of which he hid because of embarrassment, and he has to stand up to his abuser again. Because he doesn't do that as early as he probably should, Aadon misreads some signals and there are issues. Jesse is a sub and eventually gets to a point where he doesn't blame himself for being abused and that these needs of his are healthy with the right person. Jesse has to allow himself to truly let Aadon in which means a full confession that starts the cleansing of his soul. He doesn't want Aadon to fight his battles for him, but rather to stand at his side and support him.

Aadon is fighting his own battles. He is a very patient person but can also have a temper when he gets frustrated by not being able to fix things. He's a take charge kind of guy that has to struggle with having to let Jesse take a lead in his own healing. Aadon is a dom and has naturally protective instincts. Aadon wants to take care of Jesse and is very tentative with Jesse not wanting to bring forth bad memories for him. Aadon has a lot of stress carrying the familial load as someone in his mid 20s with his brother. Stress he tries to hide because he thinks he should just handle it all and has to be strong. He wants to protect Jesse and goes too far in being so careful that it drives Jesse nuts because Jesse needs to move forward. The result is that too much happens too fast and they end up taking some steps back. Aadon's brother struggles a lot and Aadon develops a friendship with his brother's psychologist that greatly helps him as the book advances when he starts talking to her. Aadon also learns to eventually lean on Jesse, too.

Eventually, our couple takes a chance on the other, shares the secrets and doubts they have been hiding, shows each other's vulnerabilities and gets together in what has to be one of the sweetest and moving love scenes I have ever read in romance. Although we see Jesse's sub personality in the bedrooms sneak through at times with Aadon, and both Jesse and Aadon discuss what a healthy dom and sub relationship is, this isn't a BDSM book. Although it's clear a dom/sub relationship is something that the couple will eventually build to and both desire, neither are ready for it in this book. Baby steps.

There is not a lot of sex in this book. These guys don't just hop into bed because this is a book about healing; hopping into bed would have solved nothing for them. They have to get to know and truly trust the other. There are also a number of secondary characters that, normally, would have distracted me. However, I felt that it was pretty realistic given what has occurred that there would be a lot of overprotective people around getting into other people's business out of their own need to not see their friends hurt again. You also see that in their own way, Jesse and Aadon each have a very supportive family but it might not be the typical people of a mother, father and siblings.

Although Jesse's abuse all happens before the book starts and there is no violence of any kind in this book, there is discussion about the previous violence and abuse for those who want to be warned.

This book was so emotionally strong and incredibly well written. It's a heavy read because we see the couple make mistakes, there is miscommunication because each is bogged down in their own feelings and history but it is clear that each is the other's destiny. They were meant to find each other at that time of their lives to help the other move on and into a healthy relationship with each other. They become each other's strengths while still fighting their own battles.

This is a tough, emotional book. But, in the end, it's positive of how people can overcome the bad things that happen and be happy again. Even though I used a box of kleenex on this book, I loved it. Great, great book. 5 stars. Hope we get more on these two and their friends.(less)

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Mar 13, 2013 Bree Cheese rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: contemporary, romance, m-m

An angsty story of two emotionally damaged college-aged men trying to move beyond their past issues to form a new relationship. The story is a bit dark (rape, domestic violence, self cutting), but that was not my problem with book, it was the writing. The POV constantly switched from paragraph to paragraph, leaving me with whiplash. I find it very hard to get into a book when I am stumbling over the narrative and constantly being pulled out of the story.

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Feb 20, 2012 Claudia rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: best-books

This book is amazing... You can feel their anguish and doubts, and also their crescent love for each other. Sometimes we forget they're on their 20's, and still learning how to have a relationship and how to live with their scars and doubts. Loved it !!!!!

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Mar 26, 2012 Kaje Harper rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: intense, m-m

As a young and inexperienced man, Jesse had been looking for a Dom. What he had found was a man who confused dominance with abuse. And whose abuse of Jesse was severe enough to eventually land the man in jail. Jesse has moved across country to a new school, hoping for a fresh start. And finds himself attracted to Aadon.

Aadon has a brother whose own abused past led to drug addiction and mental illness. He can't save his brother and he can't change Jesse's past. But maybe he can give Jesse a futur...more

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Jul 06, 2012 Top 2 Bottom Reviews Interviews and More rated it 5 of 5 stars

http://top2bottomreviews.wordpress.co...

I have to say that I have yet to read a story created by Jamie Samms that has disappointed me. Better really shows just how talented the author is and how deep she gets into her characters heads and how well she puts it on paper for us to read, understand, feel the pains, the joys, the sorrow, the anger, all of it. With Better she brings us two amazing lead characters and a set of secondary one’s that will keep your eyes glued to your reader or book, page...more http://top2bottomreviews.wordpress.co...

I have to say that I have yet to read a story created by Jamie Samms that has disappointed me. Better really shows just how talented the author is and how deep she gets into her characters heads and how well she puts it on paper for us to read, understand, feel the pains, the joys, the sorrow, the anger, all of it. With Better she brings us two amazing lead characters and a set of secondary one’s that will keep your eyes glued to your reader or book, page after page until you run out of pages.

We have two very flawed characters, living in a very real world, dealing with very real issues that many do in our own real world. Jesse is a college student who works in the school library, he’s quiet, he keeps to himself, has no friends but for Sarah, his best friend. Jesse had been horribly abused in ways that turn one’s stomach by his ex who is in jail at the start of the story. Aadon is also in college studying pre-law to become a lawyer, he too comes with his own twisted past and one that he hides very well. His older brother has been institutionalized for many years and written off by his parents, refusing to believe he’d been molested as a young child by someone they trusted, it was something that continued for sometime and it was that which causing Ricky to stumble and fall, never to be the same person he was.

Aadon’s aunt works in the same library that Jesse does and at the start of the story we find out that he’s been watching Jesse, finding himself very interested in the other man, and we also find out that Jesse has been doing that same thing to Aadon, but neither of the young men really act on it, not until one of Aadon’s friends breaks the barrier and gives them a reason to chat.

Nothing is easy for the men. They have a hell of a fight ahead of them to be able to truly give themselves over to the other without barriers. Jesse must come to terms with what happened to him, he must accept that fact that while being a submissive means giving up control, it doesn’t mean he’s a punching bag or an item to be treated without care. He must learn how not to take out his past on himself and he must take brave steps forward into the light of day if he’s to put the past behind him, freeing himself up for the chance at love.

Aadon, while he’s a Dom, he’s young yet, he has a lot of issues and problems due to his parents, and his brother. He takes on the full responsibility of spending his weekends visiting with Ricky, of talking to his therapist and trying to do college and have a life of his own. He’s not a perfect man and eventually he sees that and when he crashes, he does it as anyone would.

The plot, the characters, the development within this story came together so well that I’m going to beg Jaime to fill us in with how the two are doing now.

Reviewed By: Michele(less)

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Apr 21, 2012 Judy & Marianne from Long and Short Reviews rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: erotic, contemporary, bdsm, anal-play-sex, m-m

Originally posted at: http://whippedcream2.blogspot.com/201...

Jesse is running from his past and his own desires but Aadon may be the one man who can love and protect him. Jesse ran across country to get away from his ex-Dom and abuser but he’s never really recovered from those events. When he meets Aadon, Jesse is caught between wanting to submit to the dominant and kind man, and flashbacks to his past. Even Aadon’s careful seduction and loving care can’t quite break through Jesse’s pain. Aadon...more Originally posted at: http://whippedcream2.blogspot.com/201...

Jesse is running from his past and his own desires but Aadon may be the one man who can love and protect him. Jesse ran across country to get away from his ex-Dom and abuser but he’s never really recovered from those events. When he meets Aadon, Jesse is caught between wanting to submit to the dominant and kind man, and flashbacks to his past. Even Aadon’s careful seduction and loving care can’t quite break through Jesse’s pain. Aadon is dealing with his own painful issues as well, which eerily mirror Jesse’s trauma. The two men must find a way past their pain to find a hopeful future together.

Better is an attempt to show how two damaged men can get beyond their painful pasts and issues and be happy together. It’s a nice idea and a good concept. It’s always nice to see authors stretch and try to give happy endings to people who have been scarred and broken in the past. Unfortunately Better doesn’t quite heal the two men enough to make their happy ending believable. In a way, this is a credit to the strong writing and the complexity of the characters that I truly believe they are scarred and troubled young men. I also believe they’re trying to move past their issues, I just wasn’t entirely sold on the belief that they should do that together.

However, that’s my opinion and the story shows how very much they love each other and want to be together. Aadon’s brother Ricky is a real highlight and his struggle with his own rape and abuse – eerily mirroring in some ways what Jesse went through – gives a nice contrast to Jesse’s response. And while Ricky is an emotional character, he’s also one of the true bright points. However, Ricky’s therapist is too mothering and interfering to be realistic and there are numerous coincidences that occur to give easy solutions to the pretty complicated and difficult problems presented.

Due to these issues the story didn’t really resonate with me as much as I’d hoped. The author has a good, solid writing style and the concept is one that really leaps out. The intensity of the issues are always offset in good ways with humor or support from other characters, which makes for a more rounded and easy to read story. The characters are well developed and genuine, coming across as almost painfully honest. It’s a good story and worth reading as I think fans of the genre who can look past the few problems may enjoy it.

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Mar 26, 2012 Kassa rated it 2 of 5 stars

I’m a big fan of Samms’ writing and I leapt at her first full-length novel. I’ve been asking for one of these for a while and it’s not surprising that the concept is pretty deep. While the idea is solid and makes for an involving story, the writing stumbles in multiple places. There are problems that I’ve never associated with this author before and ultimately this one is merely ok. It has some high points but more low points than anything and makes me wonder if full-length stories highlight mor...more I’m a big fan of Samms’ writing and I leapt at her first full-length novel. I’ve been asking for one of these for a while and it’s not surprising that the concept is pretty deep. While the idea is solid and makes for an involving story, the writing stumbles in multiple places. There are problems that I’ve never associated with this author before and ultimately this one is merely ok. It has some high points but more low points than anything and makes me wonder if full-length stories highlight more weaknesses.

The plot is pretty emotional by throwing two very damaged and hurt men together to try to make them work. Each is very hurt by their past and littered with tons of issues. First there is Jesse, a submissive that got involved with the wrong man. Jesse’s reeling from his past rape and abuse, which has left a lot of emotional and physical scars. Aadon is a dominant man trying to take care of his institutionalized brother, also a victim of rape and abuse. These two college kids are trying to get past their individual issues to find common ground together, and maybe attend a class once in a while.

The highlights for me are that the author attempted such intense concepts. They’re good and handled extremely well if not better than most books. The trauma isn’t downplayed or sensationalized but realistic with a nice touch. The two characters recognize their limitations and issues, somewhat too much with long nearly professional speeches about their problems, but it’s nice that the main characters are realistic about their many, many scars. Additionally the characters are well developed and fully three dimensional with Ricky being an exceptional and well-written addition.

Unfortunately after these positives, the story kind of fell apart for me. For starters the writing stumbles frequently with obvious editing errors and a horrible problem heading hopping. The POV tends to switch within a single paragraph making the narrative a bit dizzying, as the dialogue doesn’t always match the person speaking. It’s not hard to figure out the POV but it switches way too much and pulls me out of the story each time. Likewise the behavior of Ricky’s therapist is so unprofessional that it drives me nuts. The intention is to inject a mothering, caring figure and that’s fine but the casual mannerisms and unprofessional, nearly constant touching just isn’t appropriate and I couldn’t get beyond that.

The story also relies on contrived scenes and coincidences way too much. It even attempts to explain why such coincidences can happen but by then, it’s too much. Not to give too many spoilers but the later scenes with the waiter, his boyfriend, and the additional victims are almost corny they’re so contrived. None of this feels genuine or realistic, but more so these scenes feel like an easy way to illustrate yet again the horrors Jesse experienced and his attempts to grow beyond them. I wish the writing had been more subtle and nuanced in showing these objectives rather than taking the easy, almost silly route.

Overall there are good points and bad points about Better and the attempt to tackle truly damaged men and give them a happy ending is a nice idea. Unfortunately the men come off almost too hurt to be together and the writing don’t quite live up to the concept. This is especially sad, as I like Samms’ short stories quite a bit. Perhaps the next novel will be better.
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Feb 08, 2012 Lena Grey rated it 5 of 5 stars

The past can be a painful place to visit; people don't want to recall memories which can't be changed. They don't want to experience the agony of wrong choices and missteps; but the thing is, for better or worse, what happens in our past shapes our future. We either confront our experiences and learn from them, or we deny them and inevitably get stuck there, allowing them to eat away at us, unable to move forward. Jesse Turnbul and Aadon Dounias are both stuck in the past; they are in denial, bu...more The past can be a painful place to visit; people don't want to recall memories which can't be changed. They don't want to experience the agony of wrong choices and missteps; but the thing is, for better or worse, what happens in our past shapes our future. We either confront our experiences and learn from them, or we deny them and inevitably get stuck there, allowing them to eat away at us, unable to move forward. Jesse Turnbul and Aadon Dounias are both stuck in the past; they are in denial, burdened with guilt and paralyzed with fear. Until they can come to terms with these feelings, the ghosts of the past will continue to haunt them, preventing them from living a fulfilling life.

I admired Jesse because as hard as it was to do, after Jesse realized that he'd have to face what happened in order to put it behind him, he takes immediate steps to rectify the situation. He accepts responsibility for his part in it and works to prevent Anthony from hurting anyone else. It may seem backwards, but having lived through the ordeal with Anthony and working his way through the pain, humiliation, and fear, actually makes him a stronger, more determined person.

Aadon has a good heart but what gives him problems is that he wants to fix both his brother and Jesse and it frustrates him because he can't. He tries to be patient, but walking on egg shells for fear of setting his brother off into a tantrum, or moving too fast and scaring Jesse takes its toll. It's difficult for him to sit back and watch them struggle, but he realizes that they are the only ones who can help themselves; but he also knows that he will be there to love and support them when they ask.

There are so many admirable characters in this story, people who go above and beyond in offering amazing support for both men—Ricky's psychiatrist; Aadon's cousin and best friends; Jesse's best friend, Sarah; Jesse's mother, and a host of others. Even though the book is dark in places dealing with rape, sexual abuse, BDSM gone wrong, and the devastation they leave behind, Jaime's bold presentation of the story and the tough issues it tackles are well worth the angst. If you don't mind an intense relationship with an occasional bumpy ride, but also a happy ending, then I say give 'Better' a try. Thanks, Jaime, for an emotional, but enlightening read!

NOTE: This book was provided by Dreamspinner Press for the purpose of a review on Queer Magazine Online.
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Jun 22, 2012 Sonya rated it 3 of 5 stars

As part of my campaign to challenge myself to read different genres I’m not used to e.g. male-male romance novels. I decided to read Better, surprisingly I found it no different except for the intimate scenes. Mostly I was drawn to this book by the story this one in particular because it dealt with abuse. Abuse in same sex relationships, and dealing with the aftermath when it’s over. How the victim Jesse deals with it and the process he has to go through to pick up the pieces of his life and mov...more As part of my campaign to challenge myself to read different genres I’m not used to e.g. male-male romance novels. I decided to read Better, surprisingly I found it no different except for the intimate scenes. Mostly I was drawn to this book by the story this one in particular because it dealt with abuse. Abuse in same sex relationships, and dealing with the aftermath when it’s over. How the victim Jesse deals with it and the process he has to go through to pick up the pieces of his life and move on. Jesse reached out to me through the synopsis and intrigued me to read his story. I really liked “Better” it shone a light on the dark side of same sex relationships the abuse victims suffer at the hands of their partners.

Delivering drama I must warn you if you’ve read this far this story includes rape, cutting, emotional as well as physical abuse. Though Jesse’s story is told in the aftermath of the abuse. We see examples in glimpses of what he went through flashbacks usually triggered out of panic, and when Jessie recalls his story for the trail. This is a touching story that shows how love can heal the painful scars of abuse. Aadon’s character was strong, kind, loving and supportive of Jesse and gave him what ever was best for his recovery even if it meant the kid gloves were on 98% of the time. Whether Jesse liked it or not. His character had his own family trauma his brother Ricky had been brutalized and subsequently retreated into himself. Which gave merit to his treatment of Jesse and why Aadon was especially sensitive to Jesse.

Tackling a tough subject such as abuse and make it believable isn’t easy that is the mark of a good writer I believe Jamie did that here, but some character development (on the part of the women) would have elevated the story. The situations were believable the characters solid except as I mentioned the adults came off a bit cookie cutter. The women in particular far too motherly and understanding even given the story is about abuse. It’s human nature to have some push and pull of emotions at least Aadon’s parents were believable, that said I really liked this story. I liked that the writer didn’t fall into the trap of preaching to their readers or pushing the writers personal opinions.

Jesse was relatable in a way that this could happen to anyone, he was tramautized sufficiently and you understood this terrible thing happened to him. The relationship between him and Aadon was cute at first but when the ghosts of past abuse crept in. Aadon’s support became a tad after school special. Reading it over and over how Jesse flinches at Aadon’s touch or Anthony this Anthony that. That should have been the light bulb moment to seek professional help. Shouldn’t Aadon’s affection and support given him the strength to do it sooner. Maybe then poor Aadon could be around Jesse with fearing he was going to trigger some traumatic memory. I was like where is the light at the end of this tunnel. Realism is all well and good but this is fiction the story needed to progress not just stagnate in this specific time in his life. It made it difficult to keep caring if they would get their happy ending.

Jesse for all I loved him he got on my nerves after awhile. The tramautized victim was played up a little too much for my liking that resolution at the end seemed rushed. Because the way Jesse’s trauma was portrayed he seemed way too fragile for a relationship, to me. Yes it was a step in the right direction discovering he can still feel attraction for a man again but I think they rushed things. After that debacle of their first hook up he should have sought out help. I know the subject of abuse is serious and the more extreme it is the deeper the mark it leaves on you.

But Better had a sound story be it a bit over embellished on the trauma, the pacing could have done with a pick me up some of the characters given a shot of realism all in all I loved the concept I just think a few small tweaks and it would have been a four or five. For these reasons I gave it a three and a half stars. I recommend this book for the 18 and older crowd for the adult themes, graphic sex scenes, mild salty language. If you read erotica or male male themed romance novels give this book a read.

http://sonythebooklover.com/2012/06/b...

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Jun 10, 2012 Gwenith rated it 4 of 5 stars

THIS BOOK ~MAN OH MAN, 4 STAR HEARTWRENCHINGLEY READ!

BUT...This is more like

EVEN WITH THE HEARTWRENCHING STUFF...THAT I HATE~
" THIS IS A BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN STORY~DEALING WITH RAPE, DONE WITH A DELICATE EXPERTISE BY JAIME SAMMS~WELL DONE!

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Mar 26, 2012 Kerry sullivan rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: gay-fiction

Holy hell this was a deep and powerful story about survival and one I think was very brave. It dealt with some very tough things and did with in a realistic way. We got to see two different people who had been hurt in similar ways but for various reasons dealt with it very differently. Both of these people connected through Aadon, one being his brother and one his boyfriend. What I liked about this story is that it didn't shy away from the uglier things people will do to cope. The self harm aspe...more

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Feb 12, 2012 April (CSI:Librarian) rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: netgalley-arc

(Originally posted @ CSI:Librarian.)

4.5 Stars - Oh, Jesse and Aadon! Where can I even begin? Both of these characters were so, so terrific in so many flawed, wonderful ways. Jesse is just a heartbreaker, struggling to recover from a lot of scars, both internal and external. Aadon is struggling to pretend he doesn't have as many issues as he does as he fights an uphill battle for his ailing older brother, Ricky.

Samms did a great job avoiding easy solutions or turning either of her leading men int...more (Originally posted @ CSI:Librarian.)

4.5 Stars - Oh, Jesse and Aadon! Where can I even begin? Both of these characters were so, so terrific in so many flawed, wonderful ways. Jesse is just a heartbreaker, struggling to recover from a lot of scars, both internal and external. Aadon is struggling to pretend he doesn't have as many issues as he does as he fights an uphill battle for his ailing older brother, Ricky.

Samms did a great job avoiding easy solutions or turning either of her leading men into stereotypes. In fact she did a great job of sort of setting up a cliché dynamic only to make it clear that such a relationship wouldn't work for either Jesse or Aaddon. I especially love that their being people in need of love and happiness was far more central to Better's plot than their sexual orientation.

Along the way to finding a fresh start with each other, both men mess up badly together and apart in such natural and painful ways. There was so much give and take, so many emotions, so many moving scenes, and just so much believability to their relationship from start to finish. Neither one is fixed, neither one is completely broken, and neither one is stronger than the other. They will probably never have all the answers or a cure-all for all they've been through, but they have each other and that was a lovely message.

So the plot was really engaging and the writing was lovely. There were a lot of cooks in the kitchen as far as minor characters were concerned, but they all served a purpose. I particularly liked Aadon's friends and family as well as his therapist. I got a bit tired of Jesse's support network since there seemed to be a lot of guilt-tripping from all sides and plenty of anxiety-inducing phone calls involved that never seemed particularly helpful. The light shed on Jesse's close friend Sarah's behavior towards the end of the book made me roll my eyes and groan because I really hoped the author wouldn't go there, but none of the minor characters actively interfered or ruined the book for me.

In conclusion, Better is a beautifully executed Romance that I could not recommend highly enough and one that I will certainly re-read in the near future. After I read more of Mrs. Samms' books, of course. And do not even get me started on how much I want to have the babies of Chapters 20 and 21.(less)

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Feb 16, 2012 Nicole rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m, review, read-in-2012

Review originally posted here: http://thebookpushers.com/2012/02/16/...

This was such an emotional book, I don’t even know where to start. As much as I loved it, it was difficult to read as well.

Jesse moved across the country to get away from the memories of his ex-Dom and abuser. He is scared to let anyone close, let alone think about getting into a new relationship. But one man frequents the library where Jesse works, and he finds himself attracted to someone for the first time in awhile.

Aadon...more Review originally posted here: http://thebookpushers.com/2012/02/16/...

This was such an emotional book, I don’t even know where to start. As much as I loved it, it was difficult to read as well.

Jesse moved across the country to get away from the memories of his ex-Dom and abuser. He is scared to let anyone close, let alone think about getting into a new relationship. But one man frequents the library where Jesse works, and he finds himself attracted to someone for the first time in awhile.

Aadon is attracted to Jesse, but with his own guilt and stress of dealing with and taking care of his older brother, he is worried that he won’t be able to give Jesse the kind of care he deserves. But the two are emotionally attached to each other to the point where they just can’t seem to stay away. But will they both be able to move on from the past and focus on the future?

I can’t even to tell you how much the blurb doesn’t come close to hitting on the emotional impact of this story. The angst and heartache that both Jesse and Aadon go through from start to finish is a never-ending roller coaster.

Jesse is an emotional wreck throughout the entire book. He has been dealing with the trauma of an abusive ex-Dom, whom he turned in and had sent to jail. The weight of that pain and guilt is so much that Jesse suffers from cutting and other destructive tendencies. Those scenes are hard to read. Samms does a wonderful job of showing us the pain and anguish that Jesse suffers, but it is not easy to read. For me, it was heartbreaking and cringe-worthy as I suffered right along side Jesse. I wanted to help him get better as much as Aadon did, but it was so hard to Jesse to let go of the past and move forward. Even towards the end of the book as Jesse began working on his issues, it was clear that he still wasn’t one hundred percent better.

While Aadon didn’t have any physical trauma to deal with, his internal emotional scars were almost as drastic as Jesse’s. After his parents abandoned his older brother, Aadon got stuck with the responsibility of helping his brother get past an event very similar to Jesse’s past. The stress of keeping his brother in the assisted home, and trying to love Jesse enough to help with his problems, it was too much for him to deal with. Aadon really tried to do everything the right way, in the best way he knew possible, but it seemed as if he couldn’t get out of his own head enough to help those around him. While he made a lot more of an emotional progress than Jesse seemed to make, it was clear to me that he wasn’t completely “fixed” either by the end of the book.

As each man struggled with their own landmines, they also did their best to navigate through each others, and for me, that is where the book really dealt the most blows. They hurt each other and caused more pain in the beginning of their relationship. While it was evident by the words on the page that they loved each other, I had a little bit of a harder time believing it. I had a difficult time believing that after everything they went through alone and together that they would still be so in-love. I wanted to believe in their relationship, but struggled to understand why they kept coming back to each other.

All in all this book was draining to read. It was well written and pulled at my heart strings enough that I found tears streaming down my face a few times. But at the same time I wanted them to have their happily ever after, and I struggled with it. This is not a light-hearted book, so readers need to make sure they have a box of tissues and a cheerful book to follow up with after.
I give Better a C+(less)

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Feb 23, 2012 Christi Snow rated it 4 of 5 stars

My Review:
A- hot
I will admit that when I sat down to read this book, it wasn't what I expected, but it was such a powerfully good book. Both of these men are so damaged, but they are trying to heal and make things work. It's makes for an incredibly emotional book.

Jesse hasn't been in a relationship since his last boyfriend systematically abused and eventually almost killed him. He's trying to get his life back on track though and a guy, Aaden, has caught his eye at the university library where...more My Review:
A- hot
I will admit that when I sat down to read this book, it wasn't what I expected, but it was such a powerfully good book. Both of these men are so damaged, but they are trying to heal and make things work. It's makes for an incredibly emotional book.

Jesse hasn't been in a relationship since his last boyfriend systematically abused and eventually almost killed him. He's trying to get his life back on track though and a guy, Aaden, has caught his eye at the university library where he works at. Unfortunately, just leaving that abuse behind him isn't enough and every time Jesse thinks that things are getting better, something happens which brings back the nightmares and the pain of that abuse. Jesse thinks that he can just power through his emotional upheaval and everything will be okay, but he just ends up hurting both him and Aaden in the process.

Aaden knows what happens when you aren't able to deal with abuse. He has an older brother, Ricky, who was abused as a child and wasn't able to deal with it. He's in an institution and is basically only a shell living inside his own head where he knows that it's safe. Unfortunately, he sees too much of Ricky when Jesse is suffering. He knows where Jesse is headed if he doesn't deal with things, but it's not something that Aaden can do for him. It's a painful lesson for both of them.

There is no doubt that these two guys love each other, but there is so much damage for both of them, it's not a sure thing that either of them are going to be able to get past their very harsh issues. The story is riveting and as the reader, your heart simply aches for both of them.

There are many poignant moments in this book, but some of my favorite come between Aaden and his group of friends. I love what their relationship added to the book. On the other hand, Jesse has a very different support system through his friend Sarah. If there is a single thing that I can complain about with this book, it is her character. She was harsh in so many ways. I can understand why she was written the way that she was, but towards the end of the book, I just couldn't see how her story line was helping the story at all.

To see that I enjoyed this book seems wrong just because it is dealing with such harsh issues, but I enjoyed watching the relationship between Aaden and Jesse develop and how they both learned more about themselves and each other. There was never a moment in the book where I thought that the subject matter became too much. I don't do depressing reading and that is something that the author handled beautifully. She never let the harsh details overwhelm the beauty of the story and the developing relationship between these two. It remains an uplifting book throughout.

But a warning for you: This book does deal with some of the realities of sexual abuse and rape and may be too much for some readers. I never had any issues with that, but if you are particularly sensitive, you just might.
(less)

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Feb 13, 2013 Alicia rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m, 2013-reads

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I was hesitant to read this book as there are often books in this genre that tend to trivialize such sensitive and triggering topics. But after reading some of the reviews, I decided to give this a try.

I'm no good with summaries so I will just jump right into what I thought about Better. It features a serious subject. A few serious subjects at that; same-sex domestic violence, rape, self-harm. It could have been handled poorly so very easily, but I felt the author really treated it with care and...more I was hesitant to read this book as there are often books in this genre that tend to trivialize such sensitive and triggering topics. But after reading some of the reviews, I decided to give this a try.

I'm no good with summaries so I will just jump right into what I thought about Better. It features a serious subject. A few serious subjects at that; same-sex domestic violence, rape, self-harm. It could have been handled poorly so very easily, but I felt the author really treated it with care and understood that while Aadon, Jesse's love interest, could be as gentle and supportive as he can, he can't fix everything. He is not a white knight and Jesse is not a damsel in distress. Aadon wasn't perfect either, he had his own issues to deal with, namely his big brother Ricky.

While there were some sweet moments between Jesse and Aadon, what I really liked was the honesty they shared especially in the later half of the story. It was refreshing to me to see these two act like a couple who are going to say things that might hurt, but they needed to be said and they talked through it.

As for what did not work for me so much? I feel like we could have learned more about the two leads as separate characters and what really attracted them to each other. There were a few moments that were a little too convenient to be believable. And it was nice to see Jesse have a supportive friend in Sarah, but her character grated and I felt her inclusion on the ride to Jesse's home was not necessarily helpful or needed.

We all know Anthony, Jesse's abusive and manipulative ex-boyfriend was a bad person. But there is so little detail about him... I didn't need all the horrible details of what he did, I'm thankful the author left much of that to the imagination, but I think it would have been nice to have a clearer picture of him in my mind, and the court sessions were almost so completely glossed over, I was expecting at least something maybe?

Overall, there were flaws in the story, but I did like how it was handled and I felt for Jesse and Aadon and wanted to see them take steps into healing.
(less)

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Feb 06, 2012 Susan65 rated it 4 of 5 stars

This was a really emotional story about Jesse, a college student who was the victim of domestic violence/rape who is struggling to get his life back, and Aadon, another student who wants to fix him. Aadon also has the added stressor of being the baby brother of a man who was molested and who destroyed his own life with drugs while trying to escape his demons. The premise is quite dark and brutal but the underlying theme is about love. Aadon and Jesse really love each other but before they can ha...more

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May 11, 2012 Vastine Bondurant rated it 5 of 5 stars

Review shared courtesy of Miz Love Loves Books:
http://www.mizlovelovesbooks.com/2012...

When I began this book, I doubted seriously how I could possibly review it. It promised to be angst-laden and I’m famous for not taking a kindling to angst-laden stories.

But then—I don’t know how or exactly when—the story exploded all inside me in this very nice fury of emotion. Anger, frustration, hurt, love, arousal, happiness quickly followed by more anger, frustration and hurt. And then, ultimately…happine...more

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May 30, 2012 Jennifer rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: male-male, netgalley-first-reads-arcs, romance, contemporary, 4-stars, angsty-drama, tortured-heroes, ebooks, stand-alone

Very touching and dramatic story! I liked how the author showed Jesse and Aadon initial attraction, but didn't push that aspect of their relationship early on. Both heroes have serious issues such as family drug abuse and being a victim of physical abuse. Now, I have never been in a position similar to what Aadon or Jesse is dealing with, but I felt like the recovery process was very realistic. I liked how these issues weren't sugarcoated or that they magically disappeared with the power of true...more

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Oct 07, 2012 Bea rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: bdsm, abuse-not-by-hero, angst, disability-illness, goodreads-review

I am not sure why there were a lot 2 star reviews for this book. I saw none of the pronoun problems or typos that folks mentioned. Now, there was POV hopping, but I got used to it and the author did a good job of letting us know who was who.

There is a lot of emotion, some might say melodrama, but I enjoyed it. I especially enjoyed that Jesse was not fixed by love automatically, and sex is not instant. In fact, we really do not see any sex until the end.

I gave it a 3 and not 4 because overall, th...more

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Feb 17, 2012 Olla Honeycutt rated it 5 of 5 stars

Jaime has written a touching love story. The story of Jesse and Aadon develops in spite of or maybe because of Jesse's past pain and his BDSM relationship gone terribly wrong.
While Aadon struggles with his own brother's tragedy they grow to understand and accept their developing relationship.
I hope Jaime is planning a sequel with further development of all the people involved in this love story.
I highly recommend this book as it is one of the best M/M stories I have read and I have read many...more

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Mar 19, 2012 Alex rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: queer, review-copy, romance, bdsm, contemporary

Overall
This is an excellent exploration of the "broken" and the "fixers" and how they work together and how they clash. Admittedly, I love a broken character, and this story played that point well. In addition, the main characters have Dom/Sub relations, although the complexities of Jesse's past make any real "play" fall somewhere between difficult and impossible (at least within the scope of this book). Still, the idea is explored.

This novel is character driven, with a plot that focuses on the...more

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May 02, 2012 Becky Mrs Condit Reads Books rated it 4 of 5 stars

4 1/2 stars!

This is a character driven book. The MCs were beautifully and realistically created and developed. The secondary characters are more than window dressing to this book. They are equally essential to moving the story forward. There was no easy answer for anyone and it takes a while to reach a tentative conclusion to the story. You can’t call it an HEA but it is definitely an HFN with great potential for happiness, given time and patience.

Please see my complete review on April 6, 2012 a...more

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Jan 28, 2013 NicStar rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: mm, zz-amazon-yes

This book is an emotional journey into the lives of two young college men. One has been 'broken' by abuse and the other is supporting a brother who was similarly damaged and has resultant mental problems. Although initially attracted, Jesse and Aadon need to work through many issues if they are to be together.

The story is full of heartbreak and anger but also the desire to find a way to move on. The subject matter includes abuse, rape and self-harm. There are no easy answers and the author show...more

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Apr 03, 2012 Pam rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: contemporary, m-m-romance, bdsm, medical

I give it a 4.5

Where do I start. I guess the first thing I need to say is that the blurb doesn't come close to describing the emotional roller-coaster that Jesse and Aadon experience throughout this story. In fact, their lives are filled with unrest, pain and angst. Nothing is easy and getting their relationship on firm ground is tough.

The main emphasis of this story is Jesse, what happened in the past and how he's trying to move forward with his life. The job Ms. Samms did with his emotions, an...more I give it a 4.5

Where do I start. I guess the first thing I need to say is that the blurb doesn't come close to describing the emotional roller-coaster that Jesse and Aadon experience throughout this story. In fact, their lives are filled with unrest, pain and angst. Nothing is easy and getting their relationship on firm ground is tough.

The main emphasis of this story is Jesse, what happened in the past and how he's trying to move forward with his life. The job Ms. Samms did with his emotions, and vividly describing the events in his past is excellent and it's done without turning Jesse into a neurotic character incapable of coping with everyday life. Yes, he has problems and at times he freaks out and has panic attacks but he keeps going. Jesse doesn't just have emotional scars from his past. He also has physical ones as well, and at times he cuts himself...these scenes and what leads up to it are hard to read. It's during these times that it's really obvious just how wounded and damaged he really is.

Then there's Aadon. He has problems for other reasons. His neglectful parents and damaged older brother, who he cares for. His baggage is just as painful, and while he appears confident on the outside, on the inside his emotions are bruised and battered. After years of being strong he's on the ragged edge and the strain is getting to him.

There are lots of family and friends (and even a therapist)in this story as secondary characters. They play important roles and help move the story forward, giving lots of support and caring. The development of the personality of his brother Ricky is very well done...but heart wrenching in his situation.

So, the crux of this review...It's a well written, has a complicated, smooth flowing plot and has great characters with nicely developed personalities. But that's not all. The emotional turmoil experienced by both Jesse and Aadon is intense and as they struggle to work through their problems, apart and together, it's oftentimes difficult to watch. But Ms. Samms has artfully given them each great strength and when put together, they are only stronger. FYI--There isn't a great deal of sex in this story, so if that what you're expecting, BETTER isn't for you. Due to Jesse's history, they have limited sexual contact until the end.

Okay, I think I've rambled on long enough and I haven't even mentioned Jesse's past BDSM history or the legal problems involving his imprisoned ex. Just take it from me. If you enjoy intense, emotional and thought provoking books...plots that are of growth, recovery and redemption, then this little gem is one you'll definitely want to read.(less)

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Feb 27, 2012 Nicole rated it 5 of 5 stars

Better grabbed my attention with its attractive cover but it really held my attention with its contents. It’s a really heavy book with a lot that can be somewhat emotionally draining. It’s a great read for anyone who likes to read a great well told love story but has some background drama that is packed in. Better deals with some very serious issues but it’s an extremely touching novel that is sure to be liked by many readers. It’s a very good read and will definitely be recommended to others.

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Feb 02, 2012 Page Crusherz rated it 4 of 5 stars

I loved this book! I thought it would be a perfect MC falls for a damaged MC, but it was so much more. I thought the DS aspect was so thoughtful, and I loved the realizations about what was needed, and what boundaries were needed. Sometimes I wished they struggled a little less, but I liked that both characters had their own strengths and challenges. I have loved other things from this author, and I would love to see more of these characters. I feel like their journey is still ongoing.

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Mar 26, 2012 Anke rated it 3 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Feb 09, 2012 Sarah rated it 5 of 5 stars

The book was amazing - not a good one to start before going to bed - way too addictive; finished it ~5am
I found myself wanting to hug Jesse and strangle his ex. Aadon and his cousins were lovely; Sweet Thing made me laugh :)
The abuse and it's after effects (such as Jesse's self harm) were dealt with sensatively. The writing was gripping, the characters well developed - all in a really good book. And very hard to stop reading partway through :)

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About Jaime Samms

With most of the hours in the day taken up by a part time job and the full time occupation of raising and schooling two kids, writing is somewhat of an indulgence, but it's the indulgences that keep us sane, right? When not otherwise occupied, like most writers, reading is my relaxation method of choice, and you can find my reviews at Kuriousity.com and Dark Diva Reviews to let you know what I lik...more

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Books by Jaime Samms

Fix This, Sir (Tales from Rainbow Alley, #3)

Finders, Keepers (Tales from Rainbow Alley, #2)

Hotwired Heart (Tales from Rainbow Alley, #1)

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Quotes from Better

“I can be afraid with you and still know I'm safe. That's the difference. That's why I love you.” — 9 people liked it

“What I can't do," Aadon said after a minute, as he traced his fingers down those pale, marked arms, "is ever let you go." He lifted Jesse's chin and looked into his soul-stealing brown eyes. "I am too far into you to ever get out. I'll have to move in with you, because I already need to breathe you like air."

Jesse touched just the tips of his fingers to Aadon's cheek, awed by the continued acceptance. "I cannot believe I ever thought you were too tongue-tied to be a lawyer.” — 2 people liked it

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