Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies (How To End Human Suffering #1)
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating

Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies (How To End Human Suffering #1)

by
3.56 of 5 stars 3.56  ·  rating details  ·  80 ratings  ·  37 reviews
In a world where ZOMBIES control banks and governments, only one young man sees the way things are and emerges from the CHAOS and destruction: GUY BOY MAN. While he tries to end human suffering worldwide and in his high school, Guy Boy Man meets a cute PINK-HAIRED girl named BABYDOLL15 who has a UNICORN that follows her everywhere. An EPIC ROMANCE begins, but forces BEYOND...more
Paperback, 211 pages
Published April 24th 2012 by Chizine Publications
more details... edit details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 413)
filter  |  sort: default (?)  |  rating details
Julie-anne
OK, first up, how can you not be curious about this book with that title? It has Ninjas, it has Pirates and it has Zombies ...... it has something for everyone!

I was immediately confused by this book (in a good way) by the first sentence - it takes, like, 3 pages! And yes, it was confusing to read but it at least gets you ready for the rest of the book - which, at times, can be confusing as hell. One of my favourite parts (which I even highlighted in my kindle. I loved it that much) is GuyBoyMan...more
Robberg
Ninjas? Pirates? ZOMBIES?

Oh my.

This book is a chaotic trip - I thought it was amazing and the manic tone and surreal storyline made this an exciting page turner for me.

It isn't for the feint of mind, though - you may want to stretch before attempting to read.
Nickolas
REVIEW SUMMARY: Surreal, demented, and hilarious.

MY RATING: 4.5 stars

BRIEF SYNOPSIS: Guy Boy Man, a spiritual leader/pirate, is determined to end human suffering. Apparently doing so requires copious amounts of bad language, violence, misogyny, and a Gothic castle (in America). His glorious mission becomes complicated when moderately attractive Baby Doll15 makes him a proposition he can hardly refuse...

MY REVIEW

PROS: I can almost guarantee you've never read a book like this. I was averaging at l...more
Crini
Wow, was für ein bescheuertes, durchgeknalltes, chaotischen, aber absolut geniales Buch.
Allein der Titel hat mich direkt extrem neugierig auf das Buch gemacht und auch der Klappentext klang ziemlich gut, so dass ich so einiges erwartet und mich schon darauf eingestellt habe, dass dieses Buch anders sein wird, als alles was ich bisher so zum Thema Zombies gelesen habe.
Vorher ein paar Rezensionen auf Goodreads zu lesen, hat mir dann erst mal wieder einen kleinen Dämpfer verpasst, denn scheinbar hi...more
Katy
Jun 01, 2013 Katy rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: anyone who wants a laugh
Recommended to Katy by: NetGalley
Please note: I first read this almost exactly a year ago. This was a re-read in preparation for reading the sequel.

Book Info: Genre: YA Fantasy/Horror Satire
Reading Level: YA (probably 16 on up due to language and sexual content)
Trigger warnings: In the course of battling zombie teens, there is a school shooting. This book is also extremely non-PC, so if you're easily offended, you might want to skip it.

My Thoughts: I just love a silly book, and the description of this one led me to believe th...more
Zachary Jernigan
OBJECTIVE RATING (my best stab at looking at the book's merits, regardless of whether or not I enjoyed it all that much): 4

PERSONAL RATING (how much the book "worked" for me personally): 4

This is one hell of a gonzo virtuoso performance. If you're looking for strange and clever and often hilarious literary speculative fiction, this is the place. There's no real plot, and logic is about as far from the author's purview as one might imagine -- and yet this novel holds together like glue glued to m...more
Kellie is a bookwhoreasaurus
A friend just bought this for me. I love it already. Iliterally LOL'd at the back of the book. I hope it is just as funny
Corey
NVPFZ is weird. Quirky. Chaotic. Borderline nonsensical. It's also extremely loveable, if you can get past the sometimes-unbearable precociousness of Guy Boy Man's narrative voice. He's a pretty unlikable hero: petty, manic, narcissistic; at one point he uses disabled children to protect himself from a horde of troubled zombie teens. He plays the tough guy, complete with hardboiled quips, yet cannot properly handle a gun in a firefight. Yet James Marshall's book wouldn't work without it; the voi...more
Justin
I received this book from NetGalley free for review. I do not have to publish a favorable opinion of the book due to this, so all thoughts are my own. I do have to notify that it was free, so consider yourself notified.

I honestly wanted to publish a one word review for this book- unreadable and if I had purchased the book (thank God I didn't), I would have stopped after the first section. The reason for the desire to stop is the entire opening part of the book is written without any punctuation...more
Jeff Dick
One *******-up Book

I bought NVPFZ on a whim as part of the first order I ever placed with ChiZine Publications. Look at the title and tell me how could I not.

Some time later, an award-winning writer/editor/publisher told me that it was “one *******-up book.” He meant, and I interpreted, this as a GoodThing(tm).

He was right and I am so very glad of it.

I knew I wasn’t in Kansas anymore when I saw that the damned prologue consisted of a single sentence. I don’t mean a Dan-Brown-nothing-is-happening...more
Beverly
Full disclosure: I work for ChiZine Publications. I am aware that I may have bias even if it's just that I am more likely to enjoy this kind of thing.

I enjoyed this book a lot. I thought it was very funny and twisted and also completely on target. I also liked the novel as a youthful and symbolic portrait of where I was when I was younger and something of an activist.

This book will appeal to people who are interested in criticizing a society of mindless consumerism and lack of critical thinkin...more
Greg Hansen
This book is spectacular. Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies is hilarious and captured my attention. I cam across this on my buy a random book day. The first paragraphs about the reality of something invented got me laughing. Instantly I knew this book would be great. I would the humor is like some sort of miracle child from, Breakfast of Champions, Hippopotamus, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, A Dirty Job: A Novel, and the Holy Bible translated into Klingon. I got away from myself.

I highly...more
Josh
First and foremost I think I have to start this review with a question: What the hell is this? As I was reading it, three possibilities came to mind.

One: The drunken ramblings of a total psychopath.

Two: A metaphoric, symbolic satire examining contemporary American society and culture.

Three: An outright wild, fantasy adventure played completely straight.

The novel could be any of these or all three combined. Possibly none of them. I just wanted to get that out of the way because, really, it doesn’...more
Kris
I think I best summed up NVPFZ when I described it as "a coke-snorting stripper who just dropped some acid". I should probably add that the stripper has a PhD in Philosophy from a pretentious university overflowing with ivory tower academics.

NVPFZ does its very best to look stupid when it's not. James Marshall, the author, has realized the surface level stupidity of the concept of Ninjas fighting Pirates, fodder for many an Internet debate, and run with that as a veneer over-top of a book about...more
Paul
In a world where ZOMBIES control banks and governments, only one young man sees the way things are and emerges from the CHAOS and destruction: GUY BOY MAN. While he tries to end human suffering worldwide and in his high school, Guy Boy Man meets a cute PINK-HAIRED girl named BABY DOLL15 who has a UNICORN that follows her everywhere. An EPIC ROMANCE begins, but forces BEYOND THEIR CONTROL are intent on keeping the young couple apart. One of those FORCES may—or may not be!—Guy Boy Man’s closest fr...more
Christie Harkin
Whoa! Hilarious and way messed up. You know when you are reading a book and you keep stopping to annoy the people around you by reading out particularly awesome bits? I did this ALL THE TIME. My daughter ended up hearing a large chunk of NVPFZ in spite of being far too young for it to really be considered appropriate reading. Even so, she loved (the heavily censored) version as much as I did. I've certainly never read anything like it. I'm halfway through the sequel now and I think, so far, it m...more
Ralph
I really enjoy reading reviews that make it clear that the author's humor and style are clearly going right over some people's heads. I thought the book was incredibly funny and well written - you cannot maintain the style that this book is written with by accident.

Obviously it was not for everyone, but for those that enjoy this type of humor it is an incredibly funny and fun read.
Justin Cooper
I am so torn on this book. I hate reading a book where I feel like I am not in on the joke. It is the beginning of a series, so I am somewhat masochistically drawn to reading the next book. . .
David


Tiresome and repetitive. It seems like the author attempts really hard to be the next Palahniuk but ends up with lesser results.
Nicholas
Open to any page and read. That gives one a good feeling for the book, it's loony and ridiculous and offensive and lots of fun.
Malcolm Ross
Very good, for a quick plane read. I can't wait till the next book!!!
Chadwick Ginther
Funny and twisted and absolutely mad! Loved it!
Kristin (Blood,Sweat and Books)
First off lets get the technicalities out of the way. I was given this book as an ARC through Netgalley to review. All opinions are my own and I was not compensated in any way for them.


That being said here is my review:

I went into this book with such high hopes. It looked quirky and had Zombies in it. Boy was I way off. I don't even feel I can really thoroughly express my confusion for this book. So your just going to have to bear with me as I ramble about it.

The Main character is called Guy Boy...more
Daniela
So this book "Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies" by J. Marshall starts off like its title with a neverending scentence... upon reviewal of which one can guess upon the weirdness of this book immidiately....

Guy Boy Man is the Self Appointed saviour of the world from Human Suffering. He sees Zombies eveywhere and those who become their food.
He wants to start small by taking out the Principal of his high school first. There is an odd love story, odd characters and many odd details, that rectify...more
Craig Rettig
This book is more or less an adolescent fantasy mixed with some social commentary. Our hero and titular pirate, Guy Boy Man, is trying to end human suffering with his seemingly limitless financial resources. However, things get a bit complicated when he meets BabyDoll15, who despite his legions of "hot female followers" gets under his skin in an unexpected way... and then the African-American ninja Sweetie Honey shows up. Whose side is he on, and will he kill Guy Boy Man? Read the book to find o...more
Monie
I am currently infatuated with the recent zombie trend. My favorite TV show is The Walking Dead and I even gave Pride and Prejudice and Zombies five stars. Really I'm a sucker for all things paranormal so when I saw this book I thought it would be right down my alley but sadly that wasn't the case. I knew from the description that it would over the top but the book was just too hard to follow. It is written in a weird format almost as if Guy Boy Man is just rambling from thought to thought witho...more
Nate Irvin
I saw this book on a shelf, and snorted in incredulous amusement at the title. I picked it up and read the back. It appeared to be a copy-and-paste mash-up of several different internet memes presented in narrative form. I then opened it and read a paragraph near the middle. It seemed mildly clever, in a "it's funny because it's true" kinda of way. So I started reading. I have no idea what the author was going for. It is funny, in a very adolescent "bluntness is wise" stream-of-consciousness kin...more
Karen Specht
"Alice in Wonderland on acid." That's how someone else described this tale. I was immediately hooked.

The metaphor isn't subtle; the social commentary isn't profound; the agenda isn't hidden. It is narrated by a whiskey-swilling 16-year-old boy, after all. But it works. Often in outrageously ludicrous ways. (Fat kids as human shields, anyone?) AIW, indeed. More like a teenaged Tim Burton's wet dream.

I don't know what the author was ingesting when he wrote this. But clearly, it's a strange trip wo...more
Robert Wright
Extreme silliness that reads like the overwrought fan fic of 14-year-old boy. It's the total deadpan commitment to the joke that carries it along.

A silly bit of fluffy frivolity with few frights. It somewhat overstays its welcome as a short novel. Would have been better perhaps tightened into a corking good short story.

Still, a harmlessly amusing way to pass an October evening.
Ginny Lurcock
...this is either really brilliant, or really stupid... I'm not 100% sure which.

There are more rambling thoughts over on Pure Textuality, but trust me, that's the gist.
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 13 14 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »
  • By the Blood of Heroes (The Great Undead War, #1)
  • Westlake Soul
  • Enter, Night
  • Every House Is Haunted
  • Remember Why You Fear Me: The Best Dark Fiction of Robert Shearman
  • The Summer is Ended and We Are Not Yet Saved
  • This Dark Earth
  • Z
  • Dying to Live: Life Sentence (Dying to Live, #2)
  • A Book of Tongues (Hexslinger, #1)
  • Portlandtown: A Tale of the Oregon Wyldes
  • Quarantined
  • Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Zombies
  • The Infects
  • Have Wormhole, Will Travel
  • Countdown
  • Darkness Falling (Forever Twilight #1)
  • Dust (Dust, #1)
5769441
James Marshall's short fiction has appeared in numerous Canadian literary magazines: PRISM International, The Malahat Review, Exile, The Literary Quarterly, and Prairie Fire. One of his stories was nominated for the National Magazine Award for fiction, the M&S Journey Prize, and it was a finalist in the 22nd Annual Western Magazine Awards, 2004. A collection of his short stories, Let’s Not Let...more
More about James Marshall...
Zombie Versus Fairy Featuring Albinos Let's Not Let a Little Thing Like the End of the World Come Between Us

Share This Book

“I'm American so I believe in God. I mean, even if people "invented" God instead of the other way around, God is "real" as far as I'm concerned. Just because something didn't exist before you invented it doesn't mean it doesn't exist after you invented it. You don't stand in front of a speeding care because it's an "invention" and there was a time when it didn't exist. No. You get the hell out of the way.” 5 likes
“Then, dramatically, all of a sudden, totally out of nowhere, and to my utter astonishment, absolutely nothing happens.” 3 likes
More quotes…