Ketchup is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves

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Ketchup is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves

by Robin O'Bryant (Goodreads Author)

4.04 of 5 stars 4.04 · rating details · 673 ratings · 163 reviews

"A book about motherhood that will make you nod with recognition, while simultaneously reminding you to schedule a hysterectomy." -Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess
"With the humor of Bombeck and the warmth of a best girlfriend, Robin O'Bryant gives every mom permission to not be perfect. The chapter on road-tripping with three tiny children and a flu-stricken husband was one of...more

Paperback, 266 pages

Published November 8th 2011 by Greenforge Books

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Mar 16, 2012 April rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012-reads

Mommyhood is hard. You have ideas of what it means to be a Mom while pregnant but those are often quickly dashed by the time you give birth. As you maneuver your way through the first year, you learn the ropes, gain confidence, and start to feel as though you know what you're doing. In our house, months 10 through 15 were favorites, ultimate kiddo cuteness abound.

And then, like many, you decide to change the ballgame, make things more interesting and have a second. Thus negating all said learned...more Mommyhood is hard. You have ideas of what it means to be a Mom while pregnant but those are often quickly dashed by the time you give birth. As you maneuver your way through the first year, you learn the ropes, gain confidence, and start to feel as though you know what you're doing. In our house, months 10 through 15 were favorites, ultimate kiddo cuteness abound.

And then, like many, you decide to change the ballgame, make things more interesting and have a second. Thus negating all said learned wisdom and wiping the slate clean. Two equals a whole different world. There were many days were I thought my ONE was impossible, yet something in me told me to have another. Yes, thank that crazy Mommyhood brain and logic.

Now, three years into my parenting career of two, I can honestly say I am glad we took the chance. The boys now have each other to lean on when they are older and bond over discussions about my parenting flaws. I realize that a sibling is a gift that isn't always immediately realized and I can only hope they value each other just as much one day. Mostly, I realize I wouldn't have been able to survive this journey with my sanity in tact had it not been for my amazing group of Mommy friends and family. And a sense of humor.

There are a handful of Moms who are not willing to break it down and keep it real. They are unable to peel off the layers and reveal the truth: Mommyhood is not all fun. In fact, there are days where it just plain sucks. Kids are born with the ability to push every single drive-you-crazy button in your body. Multiple times. Relentlessly. BUT, if you're lucky, you have a group of peeps you can share this with, complain with, wine with...

Robin O'Bryant writes like I am sitting with her at a Mommy's Night Out and we're talking about our little cherubs, heh. Though she is a mom of three girls, she has learned the role temperament plays in one's parenting game. It doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl, spiciness doesn't discriminate. I nearly cried laughing so hard while reading her chapter on traveling with kids. Her chapter about sending her oldest to kindergarten made me cry tears of sadness realizing how quickly time flies and realizing that I, too, will be breaking up the boys for a couple years.

I absolutely loved this book. The honesty and humor spoke to me. A free download for Kindle, my first electronic read, LOVED LOVED LOVED!!

(less)

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Jun 27, 2012 Haily rated it 5 of 5 stars

Robin O'Bryant is officially on my FAVORITE author list...I just started reading "Ketchup is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves" and it is hilarious!! I have literally laughed out loud on several occasions. If you are a mommy....trust me when I say this is a must read!!!

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Nov 18, 2012 Florinda rated it 4 of 5 stars

Robin O'Bryant was already represented by a literary agent when they decided to publish her first book, Ketchup is a Vegetable: and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves, independently. As a popular blogger and regionally-syndicated newspaper columnist, Robin has name recognition, particularly in the South. However, self-publishing Ketchup was a choice made with an eye toward raising her profile nationally, building a track record that traditional publishers might respond to for future books. Support...more Robin O'Bryant was already represented by a literary agent when they decided to publish her first book, Ketchup is a Vegetable: and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves, independently. As a popular blogger and regionally-syndicated newspaper columnist, Robin has name recognition, particularly in the South. However, self-publishing Ketchup was a choice made with an eye toward raising her profile nationally, building a track record that traditional publishers might respond to for future books. Support from successful authors in a similar vein, like Celia Rivenbark and Jenny "The Bloggess" Lawson, and a first-place finish in the Non-Fiction category of the 2012 Shirley You Jest! Humor Book Awards suggest that it was a gamble worth taking. (Full disclosure: I was a first-round judge for the SYJ! Awards, but Robin’s book was not in the group I was given for consideration.)

Robin has three daughters under the age of seven, and since her experiences as their mother provide much of the source material for Ketchup, the book shoots straight for the popular mommy-blog market (those who read them as well as those who write them). However, it doesn’t have a “blog-to-book” feel; most of the pieces are longer and more fleshed-out than typical blog posts, which allows more space to hone the humor...and Robin’s writing is infused with plenty of funny. It’s not necessarily the sort that made me laugh out loud while reading it--that’s more likely to happen when the writing involves wordplay (or snarky pop-culture critique)--but I did smile in recognition of both the subjects and the voice. Robin’s a born-and-bred Southern gal, and it comes roaring through. Twenty years of living in the South made me fairly well attuned to the region’s distinctive way with language, but the fact that I heard Robin read in person at the Creative Alliance ‘12 “Say It Salon” helped me “hear” her even more clearly in Ketchup.

Ketchup bridges the humor and “mommy memoir” categories; most of the pieces in it are episodic, and there’s not much of either a thematic or chronological narrative through-line, but I don’t think that detracts from the enjoyment of reading it. Rather, the fact that it can be read in short bursts may make it even more appealing to its time-challenged core audience.(less)

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Jun 19, 2012 Melissa rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: funny-stuff, won-in-giveaway

I recived Ketchup is a Vegetable And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves for free in a recent Goodreads First Reads giveaway and was happy when I saw which one it was. I'm one of those people who do judge a book by it's cover. It caught my eye which made me interested enough to read the description and enter to win it. When it arrived I hoped it'd be as good as I thought it would be. And, it was.

The foreward introduced us to the author, Robin O'Bryant, her life and loved ones. It was a perfect litt...more I recived Ketchup is a Vegetable And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves for free in a recent Goodreads First Reads giveaway and was happy when I saw which one it was. I'm one of those people who do judge a book by it's cover. It caught my eye which made me interested enough to read the description and enter to win it. When it arrived I hoped it'd be as good as I thought it would be. And, it was.

The foreward introduced us to the author, Robin O'Bryant, her life and loved ones. It was a perfect little chapter on letting us get to know her life and to get used to her 'voice.' And that voice is funny, smart, honest and tells a good story. At the end of the foreward she welcomes us to her chaos that she calls life. And indeed, she has her share of chaos, which makes this book very amusing.

I'm not a mother and I believe that made this book more fun to read. I could empathize with her while laughing and enjoying her wit and humor. It was like reading a long letter from a friend who's telling me stories about her kids while I secretly giggle inside because I don't have any.

The stories I read had me laughing most of the time. Robin's personality came out on every page. She lets her sense of humor lead her through Mommyhood and life, with a patience I fully admire. She didn't dwell on things that were happening, she shared the story with us and moved on. And that really made this book different from many others I've read.

It really was like reading a letter from a good friend. One that you wanted to come kidnap to get her away for a few days and one that you wanted to go visit so you could enjoy watching her with her adorable yet mischievous children.

The tone and seriousness in the last chapter threw me off. But, it showed how deep the author's love for family is, how much it means to her and how hard she's going to work to make sure her children have a wonderful life.

I really enjoyed the book and am glad I had the chance to read it. I hope she writes more books as I'm sure I'll like them as much I did this one. (less)

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Jan 29, 2012 Jacqueline Corcoran rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

You’ve got to have a strong stomach for this book, and, if you’re a mother, you probably do. However, I still have intrusive thoughts from all the detailed accounts of both parents and children having diarrhea and vomiting. Luckily, the details of the author’s 38F size breasts haven’t stuck with me as much. But in all, isn’t it a good thing when you think about a book after you have read it?

The book was definitely “a quick read” – one sitting for me. The author is not afraid to share the most i...more

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Jan 12, 2012 Kristin (Kritters Ramblings) rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: kritter-reviewed-2012, ebook

Have you ever read a book and literally laughed out loud so hard that you started crying? From page one this book had me laughing and crying and the boy starring at me strangely! Although I am not a mom and this is most definitely a mom book filled with stories from birds and bees talk to horrible road trips with infants and toddlers, I found the humor through knowing a bunch of moms and how life can be out of control.

This book starts with a perfect prologue to set up "the characters" and help...more

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Feb 19, 2012 Denise rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: read-in-2012

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Jan 20, 2013 Emilie rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: a-to-z-2013

I should start by saying it is technically well-written and well edited. I found it extremely boring and not very funny. I am positive there are many out there who's sense of humor is spot on with this book and love it, but mine was not. It is less a collection of stories than the regular ramblings of girlfriends. I mean, how funny are your friends' potty training horror stories during playgroup? Mildly humorous. That's what this book is as well. Mildly humorous.

I was determined to continue read...more

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Jun 21, 2012 Joanna rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction

I got my copy here on Goodreads.
I'm not a mother. Why? Because I do not enjoy frequent encounters with poop, vomit, and other bodily fluids. I can't afford thousands of dollars per month in child care. I like to sleep late, go out whenever I please, and I won't even park next to a minivan. My biggest pet peeve with new mothers is when I hear them say: "I didn't know I would be tired all the time", "I didn't know I wouldn't have time for a pedi", etc etc etc... What do you mean you didn't know?...more

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Jan 24, 2013 SaraJane rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Page 144:
"I used to go to dinner with my husband before children and talk about our future, my work, his work, life in general. Now when we go out to dinner, we usually fight through our appetizers and salads about things we haven't been able to discuss in front of our children. By the time our entrees are on the table, we are ready to play nice and move on."

Page 202:
"Thankfully, for all of us, God doesn't need eight hours of sleep and two cups of Starbuck's Cafe Verona before He can keep up wit...more Page 144:
"I used to go to dinner with my husband before children and talk about our future, my work, his work, life in general. Now when we go out to dinner, we usually fight through our appetizers and salads about things we haven't been able to discuss in front of our children. By the time our entrees are on the table, we are ready to play nice and move on."

Page 202:
"Thankfully, for all of us, God doesn't need eight hours of sleep and two cups of Starbuck's Cafe Verona before He can keep up with you all day tomorrow."

Page 223:
"It is one of the many paradoxes we find ourselves in as parents: How do we make our children understand the truth is important if we tell white lies in front of them? How do we teach them to censor their thoughts in public but to bare their souls at home? How do we help them to distinguish between keeping secrets for the good of others and keeping secrets from us that can potentially hurt them or someone else? I don't know the answers to these questions. I'm pretty sure answering them is what being a parent is all about and maybe in the next eighteen years, I'll learn a little something to help my children and me survive their childhoods and adolescences with grace."

Page 248:
"Life is about making as much joy as you possibly can out of the situations you find yourself in."

Page 251:
"Every child that is born fills me full of hope. Hope that this world isn't the horrible place depicted on the evening news. Hope that if something so perfect can even exist, then there is good to be found in the world. Every child is another opportunity for us to get things right, to raise our children with respect for God and people and with a zest for life. Every day brings a new opportunity to love our children, to laugh with them, cry with them and watch them grow. Every day with our children is an opportunity for us to learn from them, to hopefully replicate their easy acceptance of others and unconditional love for life. Every day there is an opportunity to let God use your children to sand off your own rough edges, make you more like them and ultimately more like Him. It can be difficult to keep these things in perspective. Life is semi-sweet, for sure. There is bitterness there, like medicine mixed in chocolate syrup and it must be swallowed whole along with the moments that flood your heart with pure joy. We can laugh, or we can cry. The choice is yours."(less)

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Feb 06, 2012 Kari rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2012, kindle

I don't think I have laughed so much while reading a book in a long time. Ketchup is a Vegetable: and Other Lies Mom Tell Themselves is full of tales and anecdotes from the author who is the mother of 3 small children. She discusses everything from breast feeding to talking about sex with your young child. I think most mothers will find this book very amusing and will find themselves nodding their head over and over. I know I did! Her honesty and frankness about subjects from the sacred nap time...more

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Feb 27, 2012 Elisabeth rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book is hilarious! I was able to identify with her on so many levels because I have either experienced the same situations or have thought the same thoughts! This is a laugh out loud book!

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Jun 02, 2012 Violeta rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

OMG the best book I read since I got my kindle 6 months ago. (and for those 1 and 2 stars people sorry to disapoint you but I am not related to the author).
I loved it from page 1 to the end it might not have been my life but it came close :) I am a mum of 3 kids 9 year old boy and 2 girls 3 and 1 so I can relate to most things and it was nice to see the funny side of those OMFG situations.
I am a very positive person and always look at the bright side so this book was perfect for me. I see some...more

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Jun 13, 2012 Diane Barnes rated it 5 of 5 stars

I gave this one 5 stars because I enjoyed every word of it. Robin O'Bryant's style is reminiscent of Anne Lamott and Celia Rivenbark because she is brutally honest about her life as a wife and mother. Forget the magazine articles that tell you how to be a "perfect mother". No such creature exists, and I don't like the ones who pretend to be. Raising 3 children under the age of 7 is a daily struggle, even with a supportive husband and family. Finding the humor in that struggle is her forte, and s...more

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Nov 19, 2012 Amber rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Laughed till I cried. Like a porthole into my day most of the time, which may be why I liked it so much. It is good to see Mothering for what it is...shoveling while it is snowing...in Alaska...in January. Thank God every year also has an August.

As a Mother of ten small people I can understand how we all start out with the ideal and then cope with where we find ourselves 5 years later. Being able to see the humor in raising children really is a great practice. Looking forward to reading this aga...more

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Jun 27, 2012 Elaine rated it 5 of 5 stars

I hate to say I just finished this book and I am very sad that it is over. I LOVE IT. It was so funny. I have been telling the ladies at work about it and I plan on making them read it. They have NO choice. They have to read it. Any self respecting mother must read this book. Between the FBI, Wal-Mart, V.S. and the mall, I thought I was going to have a heart attack from laughing so hard. I thought I was ALONE in so many of these things. But being pregnant for forty 'lven months was just up my al...more

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May 27, 2012 Amanda rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Stumbled upon this book and it was a great accident! I have read and re-read this book because it is the real deal about parenting! No it isn't about what to feed your baby, how to get them to sleep, or how to discipline. It is better- it makes you feel okay that your own child has only eaten chicken nuggets for 6 straights days or that sometimes we act a fool to keep your own child awake so they will sleep all night or that sometimes when we should discipline our children... All we can do it la...more

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Jun 20, 2012 Meggin rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: first-readers

This book is hilarious. I received this book free through Goodreads First Read giveaway and I am so glad that I did win. It is so heart warming to see how much family means to the author. I have four kids of my own and hearing some of things she has been through with her own kids is like a breathe of fresh air. I'm always worried when I go through things with my kids but now I know I'm not the only one. Robin O'Bryant is witty, humorous, and brave for sharing story. I'm glad I got the chance to...more

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Feb 19, 2012 Sherri rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Wish there was 4 1/2 star rating, because this book certainly deserves it. I found myself laughing from the first chapter on and sharing many of the passages with my husband who found it every bit as hilarious as I did. I recognized my own life with children in many of the essays. Not sure if people without children could appreciate as much. The book took a more serious turn at the last chapter which was unexpected but added more depth. Loved the author's down-to-earth writing style. Now it's ti...more

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Mar 11, 2012 Jennifer rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Robin O'Bryant's book is funny, honest and touching. Her stories revolve around her life as a wife and mother to three young children. Being a mom myself, I can really relate to a lot of these stories. I chewed through this book because I just couldn't put it down. It's well written and thoughtful, and though the book ends on a less than cheerful subject it does give you some perspective as a mother.

Read my full review at : http://newmommyconfessions.blogspot.c...

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Jan 03, 2013 Katie rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Every so often a book comes along that really speaks to you, gets you at a gut level that most books cannot. The wonderful thing about Ketchup is a Vegetable by Robin O'Bryant is that not only did this book really “get me”, but it made me snicker non-stop for over two hundred pages. This memoir focuses on Robin and her misadventures as a mother and wife. Let the hilarity ensue.

In one scene Robin recounts the road trip from Hell. With three daughters ages five and under, one an infant, Robin's f...more Every so often a book comes along that really speaks to you, gets you at a gut level that most books cannot. The wonderful thing about Ketchup is a Vegetable by Robin O'Bryant is that not only did this book really “get me”, but it made me snicker non-stop for over two hundred pages. This memoir focuses on Robin and her misadventures as a mother and wife. Let the hilarity ensue.

In one scene Robin recounts the road trip from Hell. With three daughters ages five and under, one an infant, Robin's family sets off on a five hour drive. Below is a short excerpt of the story that left me rolling.

“At this point, my dearly beloved was standing on the side of the road, shirtless, Emma was wearing nothing but a pull-up and a frown, and I had wiped the Big Berthas out once again to feed Sadie. I could feel a great red neck joke brewing, but he (her husband) doesn't normally enjoy my humor in times of crisis, so I kept my mouth shut.”

Any mom who's taken a road trip knows that the worst events possible can and do happen. Robin's trip made me have flashbacks of a family Florida road trip where my husband projectile vomited into a beef jerky container. Nothing's more hilarious than car trips and regurgitation.

Robin's humor is so effortless and real I found myself envious at many points. Humor is an advanced skill and many authors try and fail. This book is hilarious without being over the top. At one point she discusses killing flies that had swarmed on her windowsill.

“I grabbed a bottle of air freshener and took my stand at the window in very much the same way Scarlett O'Hara faced those Yanks, I'm sure. I sprayed furiously while I held my breath and watched as a measly four flies met their Maker. This was pathetic. Scarlett would be so ashamed.”

The best part of O'Bryant's book is that she makes it okay to make mistakes as a mother. We all put so much pressure on ourselves. We all want to be Joan Clever mixed with Angelina Jolie, but we can't. O'Bryant helps mothers everywhere commiserate, laugh at themselves and learn to love the mother you are, not the mother you should be.

Bottom line, mothers, buy this book, make sure all sharp objects are safely stowed, lock yourself in the bathroom and enjoy.

You can find Robin O'Bryant on her blog.
You can find the book here.

If you enjoyed this review you can follow Underground Book Reviews on Facebook or Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter. You can also follow Katie French on Facebook,Twitter and on her website. (less)

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Feb 26, 2012 Sharon rated it 3 of 5 stars

If some stories had been removed, this would have been a 4-star, or almost 5-star read for me. What drops the rating is simply the length.

The beginning had me laughing out loud, and I really enjoyed the author's casual writing style. You could picture having coffee with her as you fight back the tears of laughter as she relays the various family drama to you she (unfortunately) lived through.

By the end I found myself skimming as it simply seemed less funny and became repetitive. Overall, an enjo...more

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Mar 02, 2012 Debbie rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

A tough choice between 2 & 3 stars.
This book started out so strong. I was laughing every other paragraph.
Then started the endless boob, poop & puke stories....and I was really about ready to just stop reading. (And I have to *really* not like something to finish it.)

I decided to give it 'one more chapter' and the bodily fluid details stopped, so I kept going. It ended really sweetly and I completely agree with every word written in her last paragraph. So I'm glad I finished it.

Still th...more

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Dec 03, 2012 Mich rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

The last chapter had to be said. The last chapter is a short story unto itself. The last chapter threw the whole LOL business of the rest if the book down the river. Read ALL but the last chapter. Enjoy the funny parts. Let is soak in. THEN. After a few days read the last chapter and let it soak in. And yes I know they were all separate little stories but they had a 'theme' and the last chapter just made me say 'oh'. Maybe read the last chapter first?

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Jun 11, 2013 Gretchen rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: humor, memoir, nonfiction

Other than the poop story, not much else in this book had me laughing out loud. And, really, that is because poop is always funny. This book was more like a book of observations, venting and some complaining. I'm a SAHM, I get it. But, honestly, I get bigger belly laughs from the other moms I hang out with. I got a little tired of Mommy Juice cravings and concerns about flashing her "Britney." Entertaining enough, but no new ground broken.

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Oct 09, 2012 Yuri rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Ketchup is a Vegetable is the first book I read in a really long time that made me laugh out loud. I was literally laughing and crying because I think only mommy's would truly understand and appreciate this book. O'Bryant is honest, candid, and tells it like it is. Motherhood is hard, but when we look back at some of the things we went through, we can all just laugh about it. This book came into my life when I really needed it the most.

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Mar 22, 2012 Tina rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: memoir-auto-biography

I typically don't like books that I deem "blog-like", basically snippets of stories. It's just my preference to have a beginning and an end. This book, however, may have changed my mind.
The author writes about parenting her 3 daughters under 5 years old.I laughed out loud (and cringed) at the been there done that moments as well as the oh no is that what I have to look forward to ones.
I recommend this to anyone that needs a good laugh.

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Feb 22, 2012 Cynthia rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: didn-t-finish

I don't get it. Every review gives this a 4 or 5 and claims it is laugh-out-loud funny. I didn't have high expectations and just wanted something light to read; it was free on my Kindle. I read the first 8 essays and couldn't continue. It is very poorly written, not at all clever, and I didn't even think about smiling. I am frankly shocked that anyone chose to publish these blog posts with so many better examples of the genre available.

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Feb 24, 2012 Betty rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: funny, kindle

ou’ve got to have a strong stomach for this book, and, if you’re a mother, you probably do. However, I still have intrusive thoughts from all the detailed accounts of both parents and children having diarrhea and vomiting. Luckily, the details of the author’s 38F size breasts haven’t stuck with me as much. But in all, isn’t it a good thing when you think about a book after you have read it?

A lot about breast feeding.

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Feb 28, 2012 Christine rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: humor, grown-ups, read-in-2012

This book was hilarious! Parts of it may not be suitable for you if you don't have kids and you have a deep-seeded fear of childbirth, but the rest of the book is very entertaining. Even if you're not a parent and you just work with kids, or know people who have kids, you'll find this book funny. And if you're a parent, this book will probably read like a day in your life. I only wish that my library had a copy of it!

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About Robin O'Bryant

Robin O'Bryant is a writer and stay-at-home-mom to three daughters born within four years. She finally figured out where babies come from and got herself under control. Robin survives the hilarity of motherhood by making fun of herself in her self-syndicated humor column, Robin's Chicks and on her blog by the same name.

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