The Longest Way Home: One Man's Quest for the Courage to Settle Down

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The Longest Way Home: One Man's Quest for the Courage to Settle Down

3.55 of 5 stars 3.55 · rating details · 696 ratings · 179 reviews

Award-winning travel writer and actor Andrew McCarthy delivers a revealing and insightful memoir about how travel helped him become the man he wanted to be, helping him overcome life-long fears and confront his resistance to commitment.From time immemorial, travel has been a pursuit of passion—from adventurers of old seeking gold or new lands, to today’s spiritual and plea...more

Hardcover, 288 pages

Published September 18th 2012 by Free Press

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Sep 17, 2012 Robin rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: bea-2012-galley, memoir-autobio, narrative-nonfiction, road-trip-books

It would be easy to dismiss this as a self-indulgent travel memoir by a former "brat-packer" actor became an award winning travel writer, but this was surprisingly well done.

I found the travels interesting and his musings of his fear of commitment to be honest (there is much angst about getting hitched again and being a better husband than he was to his first wife).

I highly recommend this to those who liked Nicholas Sparks's THREE WEEKS WITH MY BROTHER and even EAT, PRAY, LOVE, although I liked...more

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May 01, 2013 Nicole rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirish, travel, ireland

This book really has fit in with the theme of my life right now. "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." -Nelson Mandala. Last week I left my family for the longest ever and farthest ever. It was very hard for me to do. I missed my kids like crazy, but I stood on my own two feet. I remembered what it was like to just Nicole, not mom, mot wife.
I got back into town and saw that...more

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Mar 13, 2013 Sue Weiss rated it 5 of 5 stars

I'll be honest. I picked up this book when the author's name caught my eye and I wondered if it was the same Andrew McCarthy who was an actor in "St. Elmo's Fire". A closer look at the cover photo confirmed that it was him so I chose it on a whim, not knowing what to expect.

I was surprised by how much I liked the book. At a loss to describe it precisely, but suffice it to say it is a cross between a memoir and a travelogue replete with descriptions of far-off REMOTE places, but intermixed is an...more

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Jan 06, 2013 Sara rated it 3 of 5 stars

Like most 80s fans, I've always had a particular soft spot for Andrew McCarthy. He's been fairly absent from the screen in recent years and I was pleasantly surprised to find he'd become something of a travel writer in the interim. Travel writing with a side of self-discovery isn't my favourite kind of writing but I was intrigued by this book. Furthermore one of my colleagues told me that he'd worked with McCarthy on this (in a publicity capacity) and that McCarthy was pretty much exactly as he...more

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Dec 09, 2012 Julie rated it 4 of 5 stars

I selected this book after hearing McCarthy interviewed on Studio 360 on NPR and learning about his new career in travel writing. I paid more attention to the travel writing than the subtitle, "One Man's Quest for the Courage to Settle Down." When I started reading, I'd felt I'd made a big mistake.

This book is an awkward confessional, with the sometimes strident whines of an introverted curmudgeon. What right does Andrew McCarthy have to be so misanthropic? He's pretty. He's rich. He's famous. H...more

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Nov 14, 2012 Florinda rated it 3 of 5 stars

I like to travel, but wouldn’t say I have a strong sense of adventure--there are many places I have no desire to visit and activities I don’t personally wish to do. But that doesn’t mean I’m not still curious, and for that reason, travel writing appeals to me. Since most of my travels these days involve a forty-mile stretch comprised of the four Los Angeles freeways between my home and workplace, audiobooks are a great way to pretend I’m somewhere else. I recently spent a week in several locales...more I like to travel, but wouldn’t say I have a strong sense of adventure--there are many places I have no desire to visit and activities I don’t personally wish to do. But that doesn’t mean I’m not still curious, and for that reason, travel writing appeals to me. Since most of my travels these days involve a forty-mile stretch comprised of the four Los Angeles freeways between my home and workplace, audiobooks are a great way to pretend I’m somewhere else. I recently spent a week in several locales, some exotic--Patagonia, the Amazon, Costa Rica, Mount Kilimanjaro--and some less so--New York, Baltimore, Vienna, Dublin--with Andrew McCarthy as my tour guide. Our travels also took me deep into McCarthy’s psyche as he inched toward that “triumph of hope over experience” event: marrying for the second time.

If the author’s name sounds familiar, it’s probably because he’s “THAT Andrew McCarthy”--yeah, the one from the 80s (Pretty in Pink, St. Elmo’s Fire, etc.). He still acts, and sometimes he directs, but he’s also developed a career as an award-winning travel writer and editor-at-large for National Geographic Traveler magazine, where several of the pieces in his first book, The Longest Way Home: One Man’s Quest for the Courage to Settle Down, originated.

In many respects, McCarthy was already pretty “settled down.” He had two children and had been with his daughter’s mother for seven years; they’d been engaged for four of them. But when they finally began talking about wedding plans, he grew anxious and conflicted. He needed to figure out why--he hoped it wasn’t stereotypical male commitment-phobia--and as much as he loved his family, he needed to go off on his own to work through it.

It wasn’t long before the reason for McCarthy’s preference for solo travel seemed pretty clear to me: despite the fact that he’s made a living as an actor, a profession that seems to require extraversion, the guy’s a fellow introvert. While the book’s subtitle suggests he was searching for “the courage to settle down,” I think he was also seeking how to balance being a fully-invested partner and parent with preserving his core self--not an unusual challenge for anyone in a committed relationship, really. I never actually questioned McCarthy’s commitment to his fiancée or his children, and I'm not sure truly he did either. I think the struggle was more about intimacy and boundaries, combined with the concern of the once-divorced person not to end up a twice-divorced person. I was pretty sympathetic.

The book itself seems to reflect some of those intimacy-and-boundaries struggles. It’s not a fully-encompassing autobiography; McCarthy’s pretty sparing with backstory, and will definitely not satisfy your curiosity about his 1980s Brat Pack heyday. He’s remarkably introspective and intimate with the reader in some places while keeping a distance in others, most notably in not referring to his children by name and identifying his future wife--spoiler: he DOES find that courage--only as “D” throughout the book. That reserve keeps The Longest Way Home from fully satisfying as personal memoir, although I think it may connect better in audio format; I’m glad that’s how I read it. But the book also provides an introduction to McCarthy’s travel writing; I found that thoroughly engaging, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he keeps collecting awards for his work in that field.(less)

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Nov 13, 2012 Debbie rated it 4 of 5 stars

I bought this book for two reasons, one very realistic, the other very shallow. I'll start with the shallow: I wanted to marry Andrew McCarthy when I was 15 years old. Okay, I got that part over with. The real reason I bought this book is because I discovered a while back that Andrew McCarthy is a travel writer (and Editor at Large) for National Geographic. As someone who dreams of being a world traveler, discovering all of the beauties of the world and learning all the cultures, being a citizen...more I bought this book for two reasons, one very realistic, the other very shallow. I'll start with the shallow: I wanted to marry Andrew McCarthy when I was 15 years old. Okay, I got that part over with. The real reason I bought this book is because I discovered a while back that Andrew McCarthy is a travel writer (and Editor at Large) for National Geographic. As someone who dreams of being a world traveler, discovering all of the beauties of the world and learning all the cultures, being a citizen of the world (as Andrew says), I read his travel pieces to hear his take on some of the places I wish to explore someday. What I found is that Andrew is an exceptional storyteller. He describes the places he's been and things he sees with such colorful details. As I read some of his articles, I could almost picture myself there, seeing the things that he was describing. When I learned that he had a book coming out, I immediately ordered my copy so that I could read more of his explorations. You learn immediately from the cover of the book that the focus is not of his travels, but rather what he learns from his travels and the discoveries (both self and cultural) he makes to lead him to the point of marrying his longtime girlfriend. As I read the book, I found some of the same descriptive storytelling from his other travel stories, but I also found that Andrew is not the guy you expect him to be from his acting. He's a guy that prefers to be alone in his explorations and thoughts. I won't give the book away, but I will say that I originally only gave it three stars. And that's because I read it after having read some reviews on Amazon.com. What I took from those was a tone that I used to read the book because many had said that he whined and really just needed to grow up. While I didn't get that from the book, I did assert my own tone that really should not have been there. That said, I still really enjoyed Andrew's story and reading the book. The following weekend, I went to Atlanta with a friend who is both an avid reader and a world traveler. We attended a book festival event where Andrew was interviewed about his book. We found him to be the intelligent and witty guy that we expected him to be all along. While he may enjoy traveling alone, he is very good at charming a crowd. After hearing him discuss his book in person and talk about some of the specific situations that he had written about, I quickly learned that many of the places where I had asserted a bit of sarcastic tone really deserved a humorous tone. After that, I decided that my rating deserved at least four stars, not the original three that I gave it. I really enjoy Andrew's travel articles, I enjoyed his book, and I thoroughly enjoyed getting to hear him speak about his book in person. All of that together made The Longest Way Home a very enjoyable experience as a whole. And, yes, the guy from Pretty In Pink can write. More importantly, he can tell a story.(less)

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Nov 06, 2012 Cara rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: about-real-people, fun-or-frivolity, life

This book is Pretty in Pink star Andrew McCarthy's reflections on his life, specifically the interactions between travel, his desire to marry the woman who would become his wife, and his desire to run away and be alone forever. It's an interesting story, and the writing is good in a spare way. I got it because I thought understanding this guy's resistance to commitment and completely open intimacy might help me understand myself. Do I really never want to get married again because I suck at it,...more

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Oct 31, 2012 Gatamadrizgmail.com rated it 5 of 5 stars

This splendidly written book by travel writer/actor Andrew McCarthy takes you through a 7 month journey in which the author is trying to figure out what his problem is with truly committing to the woman he has vowed to marry. He has been with D for seven years, they have a daughter and everything should be fine, right? But the minute they decide to get married he is off and running.

Painfully shy and a bit socially inept, he is honest that he uses travel to avoid getting to know people. But trave...more

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Oct 16, 2012 Marc Weitz rated it 4 of 5 stars

When I mentioned to a friend at tennis, that I was reading Andrew McCarthy’s book I got a long look of “you’re kidding me.” I asked myself the same question when, after seeing a travel article written by Andrew McCarthy in the New York Times, I suddenly bought and downloaded his new book. When I saw the article in the Times and saw that the author was Andrew McCarthy, I was sure it couldn’t be the actor. But, man, this guy can write. His style is clearly patterned after Hemingway’s with short, c...more When I mentioned to a friend at tennis, that I was reading Andrew McCarthy’s book I got a long look of “you’re kidding me.” I asked myself the same question when, after seeing a travel article written by Andrew McCarthy in the New York Times, I suddenly bought and downloaded his new book. When I saw the article in the Times and saw that the author was Andrew McCarthy, I was sure it couldn’t be the actor. But, man, this guy can write. His style is clearly patterned after Hemingway’s with short, concise sentences. Indeed, Hemingway is mentioned a number of times in the book.

The book is about how travel transformed McCarthy’s life. He recounts years of acting, failed relationships, and alcohol abuse. In this he realized the emptiness of it all. He is a loner who desperately wants to be social and build lasting relationships, but while he yearns for this, he runs from it whenever he gets close. It was one day hiking the Camino de Santiago in Spain that he realized the importance of travel in his life. He had nearly given up but knew that he had to complete the trail or he’d never fulfill any commitments. From then on he sets himself on a career as a travel writer. He approaches one of the editors from National Geographic seeking a job. Skeptical at first, he gave McCarthy a chance. Since then, he’s been traveling the world.

The book is a series of travel tales interwoven with his 7-year relationship with his fiancé known as D. His logical side knows that D is the right woman for him, but his fears are preventing him from taking the leap and marrying her. With each destination described in the book, he grows more comfortable and surer of his decision.

McCarthy does a fantastic job describing the places he visits: Patagonia, the Amazon, the Osa, Vienna, Baltimore, and Kilimanjaro. Like any good travelogue, it’ll make you hungry to travel and think of nothing else the entire day.

One thing struck me after reading this: I’ve now read a few books about the stars whom I grew up watching and listening to as a child in the 80’s, and I continue to learn so much from them. Andrew McCarthy as Blaine in Pretty in Pink or Kevin in St. Elmo’s Fire informed so much of my childhood and adolescence. Now as an adult I continue to learn from his art and now him personally.
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Sep 19, 2012 Elizabeth Periale rated it 3 of 5 stars

http://xoxoxoe.blogspot.com/2012/09/a...

He takes the reader along with him as he walks the route of Santiago de Compostela in Spain, hikes across a glacier in Patagonia, travels the Amazon via boat, explores Baltimore with a close friend, and climbs Kilimanjaro. Most of McCarthy's traveling is done solo. He doesn't tend to want to share his travel experiences with others — his trips are more personal quests. Most of the time he feels rather separate from the world he is visiting. After strolling...more

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Dec 06, 2012 Erin rated it 3 of 5 stars

Let me just say this: Not only was I not a fan of Andrew McCarthy's in the 80s, I found him to be an excruciating annoyance in some movies I otherwised loved. To me, he was about the only man in the world who could make Ducky seem the better choice. When I started reading travel articles - good articles - penned by an Andrew McCarthy, it never occured to me they were one and the same. Then I read an excerpt from this book in National Geographic, realized they were indeed the same person, and dis...more

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Dec 04, 2012 Megan rated it 1 of 5 stars

I was surprised to find out Andrew McCarthy was a travel writer. After reading 100 pages of this book I am shocked he is a travel writer. I love reading about people traveling to far away places and seeing amazing things. So while the author travels to cool places the way he writes gave it no life for me and I found myself skipping through the pages hoping to get to something interesting. As for his relationship with D, there was nothing in it to make me root for them. At 100 pages what I know a...more

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Oct 29, 2012 Mark Gaulding rated it 5 of 5 stars

This was a remarkable book. It reminded me in many ways of Bruce Chatwin's travel books (and not just because of the Patagonia connection). But I was especially impressed with McCarthy's spare writing style, but at the same time his ability to analyze his emotional life as it's impacted by his journeys.

This book is a memoir. It is also a travelogue. While it isn't a comprehensive biography of McCarthy's life it does intersperse important aspects of his life: his time as a "brat pack" movie star;...more

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Oct 07, 2012 Larry Hoffer rated it 4 of 5 stars

I'm not at all ashamed to admit that I was first drawn to Andrew McCarthy's new book because he starred in two of my favorite 80s movies, St. Elmo's Fire and Pretty in Pink. The truth is, however, about a year or so ago I read an article he wrote on Ireland for Bon Appetit magazine, and I remembered being impressed with his writing ability.

While I may have come to McCarthy's book partially because of my nostalgia for most 80s-related things, it was his writing ability, and his insights into the...more I'm not at all ashamed to admit that I was first drawn to Andrew McCarthy's new book because he starred in two of my favorite 80s movies, St. Elmo's Fire and Pretty in Pink. The truth is, however, about a year or so ago I read an article he wrote on Ireland for Bon Appetit magazine, and I remembered being impressed with his writing ability.

While I may have come to McCarthy's book partially because of my nostalgia for most 80s-related things, it was his writing ability, and his insights into the appeal of travel and why he is more comfortable being alone—even while surrounded by strangers—that made me keep reading. But don't be taken in by the quote from Elizabeth Gilbert on the book's cover—while McCarthy meditates on love and relationships, and does eat throughout the book, this is no male version of Eat, Pray, Love.

McCarthy is unable to commit to his fiancée of nearly four years, and doesn't quite understand why. He recounts always being a somewhat ambivalent person; while he initially fell in love with acting in high school and felt truly alive onstage, he never really imagined himself a successful actor, and once his career started taking off, he found himself at odds with this success. (It's interesting to find out the characteristics that most intrigued me about McCarthy's acting—his ambivalence, his vulnerability, his shyness—were actually real-life personality traits, not dimensions of his characters.) At one point he recounts that he saw acting as a terrific way to meet women, travel, and drink to excess.

At a crossroads in his life, and at risk of jeopardizing his future by alienating the woman he loves, he sets out to try and find the answer to what causes his fear of commitment, of showing his true self to people. He begins traveling to places both exotic and remote—the glaciers of Patagonia, the rainforests of Costa Rica, the heart of Amazonian country, Mt. Kilimanjaro, even one of his best friend's childhood hometown of Baltimore, Maryland.

As he travels, McCarthy recounts what events in his life shaped him to be the type of person he is, how his somewhat strained relationship with his father has affected the way he parents his children, how his fear of failing after one divorce has impacted his relationship with his fiancée, and he realizes how much he needs what he desires most—a loving wife and family. This book is part travelogue, as he shares risky adventures, breathtaking sights, and encounters both enriching and bizarre with the people he meets along his journey, and part memoir of self-discovery.

McCarthy says, "In life there are dividing lines. These moments become a way to chart our time; they are the signposts for our lives." That quote is a fairly accurate description of The Longest Way Home. Andrew McCarthy is a writer with great talent, one who truly made the anecdotes of his travels come alive, and his use of imagery really evoked pictures in my mind. But at times, McCarthy's ambivalence, his reticence to disclose his feelings, even to the woman he loves, was a little frustrating. You almost want to shake him from time to time, to warn him he needs to find his answers quickly or his whole life could fall apart. That melodrama aside, this is an insightful, enjoyable book that makes you see travel, and why people do it, in a very different way. (less)

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Feb 26, 2013 Deirdre rated it 4 of 5 stars

Andrew McCarthy is an actor I remember from my teenage years, a man who features on a few of my favourite movies. So when I saw that he had a travel book that was about him dealing with his issues around marriage I was intrigued, when I read it I was charmed.

I do empathise with his feeling of being twitchy in crowds and lonely within groups, I know that feeling all too well myself. In this he explores being in foreign countries, actually working for the National Geographic Traveler, and recounti...more

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Aug 28, 2012 Erin rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads, biography, around-the-world

I felt like this book was very user-friendly and simply done. It's not a complicated, find-yourself travel log that opens the narrator's eyes to the flaws of his own society, it's just a guy who travels alone, while growing into himself at his own pace. I had no idea who the author was until my mom saw the name and told me who he was. This actually turned out to beneficial for me, because I personally can't stand most celebrity attempts at memoirs, and I probably would not have been interested i...more

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Feb 02, 2013 Heather rated it 4 of 5 stars

Well, this one was surprisingly better than I thought it would be.

It turns out that Andrew McCarthy, of Brat Pack 80s actoring fame, ultimately evolved into a travel writer. And this book/memoir documents concisely but with enough insight and detail how he went from that point A to point B, and then honing in particularly on a series of trips he took to help him complete the emotional journey to be ready to finally marry his second wife, with whom he'd already had a daughter and to whom he'd bee...more Well, this one was surprisingly better than I thought it would be.

It turns out that Andrew McCarthy, of Brat Pack 80s actoring fame, ultimately evolved into a travel writer. And this book/memoir documents concisely but with enough insight and detail how he went from that point A to point B, and then honing in particularly on a series of trips he took to help him complete the emotional journey to be ready to finally marry his second wife, with whom he'd already had a daughter and to whom he'd been engaged for years.

So, it turns out first of all that while I thought he'd be like all WASPY entitlement, that's not exactly the life this guy had growing up. As a result, he has much more of a melancholic/uber self reflective temperament as an adult. He grappled with alcoholism and (mostly commitment based) issues, and he discusses all this in ways that are very honest and very insightful without, at least to me, getting too neurotic and up his own ass.

I mean, yes, if you were friends with him for years would you be like, JESUS CHRIST ANDREW ARE YOU STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS THING? I MEAN, GET A THERAPIST AND WORK THROUGH IT ALREADY. Maybe. Maybe you would. But then again, he takes such ownership of his issues, he's so matter of fact about them, he makes such attempts at working past them, and he doesn't spend too much time in the book ruminating on the same thing. So I don't know. Instead it seems like, oh, you're a grown man and you had issues like we all do, and some of them still extend, and yes it seems like life would be nicer for you if you were able to lighten up a little bit and maybe you should take some Zoloft, but in general you do a really goddamn good job of trying to work your way through shit.

Basically, he has a really nice light touch that keeps what might be his up-his-own-assness in real life from being anything near the neighborhood of overwhelming/annoying in the book. And that up-his-own-assness is just me suspecting. He could be someone who always seems to be taking responsibility and trying to move forward. In short, I suspect he's someone who I want to say: just chill out buddy, smile a little. But at the same time, God, you really have to both admire his personal responsibility and dedication to move through things. And also, boy does he do a good job of balancing it in the book so it's interesting without being overwhelming.

Nice work Mr. M. Now have a zoloft.(less)

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Jan 05, 2013 Jackie rated it 3 of 5 stars

I have seen readers on here recommend this book to people who like the book "Eat, Pray Love" I would agree with those reviewers.

I enjoyed the fact that Andrew was very honest about where he has been (rehab, his failed first marriage, estrangement w/his father) and how he found himself wanting to do travel documenteries for National Geographic. I really enjoyed reading about his travels to foreign countries though towards the end it felt like there was almost too much storyline that would have be...more

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Nov 02, 2012 Beth rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: borrowed-from-friend, memoir-non-fiction, travel

Somewhere between 3.5 and 4 stars

Who knew that Andrew McCarthy was a travel writer? I didn't -- and I was pleasantly surprised to learn that he can actually write pretty good. It's part memoir / part travelogue, but it's still a fairly simple book. There are no long monologues or deep bouts of convoluted soul-searching, yet he does manage to weave in some introspection that makes sense and is well-placed. The stories about the places he travels to, the people he meets and the discoveries he make...more

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Dec 10, 2012 Cara rated it 4 of 5 stars

Pretty in Pink is one of my favorite movies. Andrew McCarthy, who plays the male lead, has a big part in that. His character, Blaine, is sensitive and unsure of what he wants from life. Swooooooon!

The Longest Way Home reveals McCarthy to be a thoughtful, introspective person. While he still acts and directs, his true calling is travel writing. Andrew explores and writes about the most remote places on the globe. His comfort with solitude is an asset with his work. In his personal life, not so mu...more

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Jan 27, 2013 Dan rated it 3 of 5 stars

Andrew McCarthy, actor, director and travel writer has written a memoir concentrating on his inability to come to terms with settling down and being married (a second time) and maybe being a more responsible man. Although, I did enjoy the eighties films he was in; it was the title of this book that really intrigued me. I wasn’t sure what I would find but enjoyed the stories of his travels around the globe describing in detail places I know I will never travel to. He touches a bit on his acting a...more

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Dec 12, 2012 Mary Miller rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: travel-narrative

Andrew McCarthy is best know to many as one of the Brat Pack, but several years ago he changed direction in his life and began to write travel pieces for magazines. This is his first book. It doesn't quite live up to the hype that it's been getting in the media, but it is much better than most books written by celebrities/actors.
After knocking around the world and having two children, one by his current girl friend, referred to only as D, McCarthy decides to get married again. But before he take...more

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Oct 30, 2012 Renee rated it 4 of 5 stars

Unable to commit to his fiancee of 4y ears—and with no clear understanding why, the author sets out to look for answers.

From the treacherous slopes of Mt. Kilimanjaro, to the dense Costa Rican rain forests—Andrew takes us on exotic trips to some of the world’s most beautiful places, but his real journey is one of the spirit.

Up until now, I've only been familiar with Andrew McCarthy through film, I had no idea he left the Hollywood limelight to become an award winning travel writer. While he's no...more

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Aug 11, 2012 Dina rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads, 2012

I am so very lucky to have won this book from Goodreads's First Reads giveways because it changed and maybe redeemed a whole genre for me. Are you ready for a surprise? I hate memoirs. Better yet, I hate travel writers. Most beautifully, I hate all of this because of the over-romantic view portrayal, rose-tinted view we get of travel. McCarthy is not the strongest writer I have encountered, but he has heart and he has honesty--one that is awfully painful (probably because he is so honest about i...more I am so very lucky to have won this book from Goodreads's First Reads giveways because it changed and maybe redeemed a whole genre for me. Are you ready for a surprise? I hate memoirs. Better yet, I hate travel writers. Most beautifully, I hate all of this because of the over-romantic view portrayal, rose-tinted view we get of travel. McCarthy is not the strongest writer I have encountered, but he has heart and he has honesty--one that is awfully painful (probably because he is so honest about it). See, this is no Eat, Pray, Love. This is real life. This is a story of a boy who never got to settle down. This is the story I needed to read, one I connected to, because McCarthy was not superficial about the cultures he encountered. No one was called Spaghetti (seriously...). He was blatant from the very first page to the last one. Every location had taught McCarthy something, but it was not because of some wise guru or a friend "teaching" him something about Western culture and its flaws. This is McCarthy's story; he keeps it simple in that way. It's his coming of age story. It's the story of man who is used to running. Have you ever tried to stop running suddenly?

My advice is not to try it, because you will slip and skid. You'll probably scrape more than you like. Aware of this, McCarthy runs throughout the story, travels from place to place, and slowly gathers slowness. We always speak of gaining momentum, but we never speak of gaining the ability to settle down. McCarthy posits that this is something worth considering. Also: it's just liberating to read that, gosh darn it, you grow up at your pace. McCarthy is not a teen here. He's a "grown up" by society's standards and yet he still is unsure of what he wants or how to attain it, which, as someone in transition reading this, feels wonderful. I just felt so good.

I fell in love with his love story. And, as someone who grew up moving a lot, shifting her identity even more, I connected with this book far more than I expected. This book is about courage. It's about travel, sure, but it's about introspection, wonder, and what it really means to be in solitude. We are so loud nowadays, so socially connected, solitude is made into this fantastical quality. It's about second chances, luck, dreams, and the hopes we have to change our lives (and the pressing question of whether or not we can ever succeed in doing so). Unlike Eat, Pray, Love, this was realistic. There were fights, bad grades, misunderstandings, trust issues, fear (so much fear), paranoia, addiction, and the honest struggle to find what it means to be yourself. What is success to you? What is marriage? What is love?

I posit that McCarthy pushes the genre a little bit for me because Eat, Pray, Love was my most "memorable" memoir and, by god, I hated it. I hated every second of it. There are no happy endings here. I am not spoiling anything when I say this to you. I have already said that McCarthy is being honest. He tells you an honest story. There is lice, bugs, uncertainty, and fear in the end, because people's lives--even in memoirs, don't end right there. That would be a biography. While I worry for him and his family, I love that he kept it real like this. I'm glad he made it home.

...I'm, of course, linking back to this review on my blog, but I will also elaborate on "growing up" and this book on there as well. So, if you're curious, hop on over to my blog at http://nothardy.blogspot.com
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Apr 15, 2013 Lynn rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: not-reading

This was so boring, I really tried, but I just couldn't finish it! I never really liked Andrew as an actor, so knowing that he identified with his characters, explains why his book wasn't very good to me.I was hopeful though, I wanted to read this. I liked his movies even though he was not as appealing. I saw "Class" when I was way too young to be watching R rated movies, and maybe seeing Andrew as a gawky teen branded him that way forever in my mind!
The first 20 or so pages drew me in enough to...more

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Apr 06, 2013 Jamee Zielke rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: book-club

This book was a chore to read.

Andrew McCarthy comes across as self-focused, which I suppose is unavoidable while writing a memoir of solo travel. But still, he's a boor.

We meet McCarthy, in literary form anyway, on his honeymoon for his 2nd marriage which he uses to set the scene for the many months between the decision to marry his now wife and the wedding itself. We find out early on, in large part because he tells us, that he likes to be alone, has a hard time with commitment and obligation...more

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Dec 04, 2012 Barry Hammond rated it 4 of 5 stars

Best known as an actor in such films as Pretty In Pink, St. Elmo's Fire, and The Joy Luck Club, Andrew McCarthy is also a writer and director. His first book combines a love of travel writing not as escape or adventure but as an interior journey to discover deep self-truths. Part biography, part self-help, and part philosophical revelation the book is both a revealing confession and a pointer towards what it means to be a complete person. McCarthy is a much better writer than I'd suspected and a...more

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Nov 12, 2012 Barb rated it 4 of 5 stars

Finished it in one afternoon! I truly appreciated the author's comments about how others perceive travel as a luxury, an impractical indulgence, or an escape from real life. But it isn't... at least not for him, and not for me either. I've learned that for me it's an essential part of life; I sometimes feel most "me" when I am the only familiar-to-me thing in sight. This author expresses that much better than I can! On a less "emo" note, the chapter on Patagonia made me homesick for a place I ba...more

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Sep 07, 2012 Anna Janelle rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads, advanced-reader-copy

My previous status updates seem to encompass many of the gut-reactions that I've had to this book. I was pleasantly surprised to discover how well Andrew McCarthy can spin a tale. He's a wonderfully gifted writer who possesses the ability to really draw the reader in to reassess and re-evaluate what it means to become an adult member of a committed relationship. While McCarthy was primarily known as an celebrated "Brat Pack" actor in the 1980s, he is now a celebrated travel author, acting as edi...more My previous status updates seem to encompass many of the gut-reactions that I've had to this book. I was pleasantly surprised to discover how well Andrew McCarthy can spin a tale. He's a wonderfully gifted writer who possesses the ability to really draw the reader in to reassess and re-evaluate what it means to become an adult member of a committed relationship. While McCarthy was primarily known as an celebrated "Brat Pack" actor in the 1980s, he is now a celebrated travel author, acting as editor-at-large for the National Geographic Traveler. While this book was advertised as a travel memoir, it became, for me, most importantly, a memoir discussing McCarthy's fears and inhibitions regarding his second marriage. His gift with dialogue shone through when illuminating his often complicated love-affair with his fiance/wife D. I found myself most emotionally connected to his memories centering around his unresolved issues with his family - in particular, his father. I found McCarthy to be most profound and moving when illustrating his family dynamic - as opposed to discussing the exotic scenery of an exotic locale. The travel narrative serves a purpose in that it prompts McCarthy's inner dialogue and self-revelation. As a reader new to the travel genre, this was a perfect manner in which to get my feet wet while combining the narrative with memoir or autobiography, a genre which I am most familiar.

I want to thank both author Andrew McCarthy (*squee* I can't believe I have an occasion to write that phrase; I've been watching him in Pretty in Pink for decades) and publishers Free Press for this opportunity to read this GoodRead's First Reads book. I would definitely recommend it to other fans of the actor - as well as fans of the memoir/autobiography/travel genres. It's a very personal encounter with issues and questions that plague us all as we transition from youth into adulthood. As a person currently struggling to plan a wedding (like McCarthy and his betrothed D., I'm not a detail-oriented planner and am having difficulty wrapping my head around all the details that surround a wedding philosophical and logistical), this book took on a special relevance for me. It was a quick, relatively short read that I thoroughly enjoyed.

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Who would have thought this cutie would have grown up to be a man with such insight into affection and self-knowledge? Respectfully, I was very surprised at the quality and emotional-impact of his insight. A very welcome surprise indeed :)(less)

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“There's something in the act of setting out that renews me, that fills me with a feeling of possibility. On the road, I'm forced to rely on instinct and intuition, on the kindness of strangers, in ways that illuminate who I am, ways that shed light on my motivations, my fears.” — 5 people liked it

“As is often the case when I travel, my vulnerability -- like not knowing what the hell I'm going to do upon arrival -- makes me more open to outside interactions than I might be when I'm at home and think I know best what needs to be done. On the road, serendipity is given space to enter my life.” — 3 people liked it

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title link	preview: The Longest Way Home: One Man's Quest for the Courage to Settle Down
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The Longest Way Home: One Man's Quest for the Courage to Settle Down

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