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Politically Correct Bedtime Stories (Politically Correct Bedtime Stories #1)

3.66  ·  Rating Details  ·  4,142 Ratings  ·  479 Reviews
Once upon a time, in the olden days, heavy-set middle-aged men would congregate in their elitist clubs, sit in over-stuffed leather chairs, smoke air-choking cigars, and pitch story ideas and plots to each other. Problem was, these stories, many of which found their way into the general social consciousness, reflected the way in which these men lived and saw their world: t ...more
Hardcover, First Edition, 79 pages
Published April 7th 1994 by MacMillan Publishing Company (first published January 1st 1994)
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Rip Van Winkle by Washington IrvingThe Big Sleep by Raymond ChandlerThe Odyssey by HomerPolitically Correct Bedtime Stories by James Finn GarnerSleeping Murder by Agatha Christie
Zeds 'n' beds
4th out of 139 books — 19 voters
Nine Stories by J.D. SalingerThe Complete Stories and Poems by Edgar Allan PoeA Good Man is Hard to Find and Other Stories by Flannery O'ConnorDubliners by James JoyceThe Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury
Collections of Short Stories
204th out of 2,136 books — 1,624 voters

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Paige  *an exploding fluffball* Bookdragon


This was so much fun to read. I saw this post in tumblr:


and after reading that, you bet your sweet ass I have to find the book and read it immediately.

James Finn Garner did an amazing job in retelling the stories in a politically correct way best suited for modern times.

My favorites are the following:

The Little Red Riding Hood


“And just what do you think you’re doing?” asked Red Riding Hood.

The woodchopper-person blinked and tried to answer, but no words came to

"Bursting in here like a Nea
K.D. Absolutely
May 13, 2011 K.D. Absolutely rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to K.D. by: Emir (Peace!)
Shelves: humour, borrowed
Well, I find this book somewhat funny yet strange. Prior to this, my only idea of politically correct statements is not to say "poor" but say "financially challenged" or "short/dwarfish" but "vertically challenged". The reason is that most of us Filipinos speak pure English only when we talk to foreigners and because they are visitors here, they are probably too polite not to require us to be very careful with our language (as long as we don't curse or use vulgar terms) to the extent of using po ...more
Aug 29, 2010 erry rated it really liked it
Political correct bedtime stories – Dongeng, hegemoni lelaki dan Barbie

"Once upon a time, there is life …………………bla bla bla.............
and they are live together. happy. ever after. forever."

Sebuah pakem standar dari dongeng pengantar tidur. sebuah dongeng yang pernah membawa fantasiku - dan juga hampir seluruh anak perempuan di dunia - terbang ke sebuah negeri antah berantah. menjadi seorang perempuan muda yang baik hati, ramah tamah, suka menabung dan tidak suka membuang sampah sembarangan. ya
Damar dara
Dec 26, 2007 Damar dara rated it liked it
James Finn Garner has taken 12 time-tested tales and retold them with the newfound sensitivity of our times. Here's a snippet from "Little Red Riding Hood":
The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone."

Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldvie
Feb 06, 2013 Richard rated it it was amazing
George Bernard Shaw once said that if something is funny, search it for truth. This book is full of truth, and it boldly and plainly illustrates the absurdity of political correctness. I love sarcasm and satire, and this book has plenty of it, so I found it delightful. It provides a marvelous picture of the current social and political landscape, and reveals the whole political correctness dogma for the foolish fraud that it is. Eleanor Roosevelt once said that no one can make you feel inferior ...more
Jun 09, 2016 Louise rated it it was ok

Fairy tales are strange, but these are the stranger.

Examples are the “7 Towering Giants” and the Prince thinking they could use the comatose Snow White as a cure for impotence and at midnight Cinderella’s clothes disappear into rags which has a weird effect on other women and the men wind up dead.

Every negative stereotype of PC is exaggerated beyond meaning, such as the guilt trip of the 3 Billy Goats Gruff and Goldilocks as an unethical academic. The PC targets are not always consistent. In R
Amir ali
این کتاب شامل 10 داستان طنز کوتاه است که فین گارنر با استفاده از قصه ها و شخصیت هایی که ما می شناسیم مثل شنل قرمزی، راپونزل، سیندرلا، جک داستان لوبیای سحرآمیز،جوجه کوچولو و... مفاهیم تازه ای را که برخلاف اسم کتاب،کاملا سیاسی و مرتبط با جامعه ی معاصر آمریکا هستند مطرح می کند.

در داستان شنل قرمزی، شنل قرمزی زنی ست مستقل که برای حریم خصوصی خود ارزش زیادی قائل است و به شدت مخالف تبعیض جنسیتی. حتی وقتی مرد تبرزن برای نجات او از چنگال گرگ وارد صحنه می شود آن را توهینی به توانایی اش تلقی می کند و به جای
May 20, 2016 Kavita rated it it was amazing
Have you heard of the emperor who made a clothing optional lifestyle popular in his kingdom? And how about the three little pigs that set up a model socialist democracy with free education, universal health care, and affordable housing for everyone after defeating the big bad wolf? Then there is Esmeralda who refused to negotiate with Rumpelstilskin on the grounds that she need not negotiate with anyone who would interfere with her reproductive rights. Surely, you must have heard of Cinderella w ...more
Ahmad Sharabiani
اوایل سال 1990 گویا روانشناسان کودک در امریکا اعلام کردند، در نظر دارند داستانهای کلاسیک کودکان را که سالها رواج داشته، بازنویسی کنند و آنها را با موازین اخلاقی روز وفق دهند. قرار شد در داستانها هرگونه نشانه تبعیض نژادی و جنسی حذف شود و داستانها با معیارهای صاحب نظران تربیتی روز باشد. «جیمز فین گارنر» نویسنده جوان طنزپرداز امریکایی، پیش دستی کرد و 13 قصه بسیار معروف را که بیش از یک یا چند قرن سابقه نقل در سراسر جهان داشتند را بازنویسی کرد و آنها را از نظر سیاسی و اخلاقی بی ضرر ساخت! «گارنر» از ش ...more
Maria Thomarey
Feb 14, 2016 Maria Thomarey rated it it was ok
Και πολλα βάζω . Δεν υπάρχει χειρότερο απο την πολιτική ορθότητα . Τα παραμύθια όμως δεν μπορούν να είναι πολιτικώς ορθά . Δεν είναι αυτή η δουλειά τους ....
Apr 24, 2009 PurplyCookie rated it really liked it
Shelves: humour-parody
Leap into a fairy-tale world where trolls are "dirt-accomplished and odor-enhanced," witches are "kindness-impaired," and Cinderella wears a gown "woven of silk stolen from unsuspecting silkworms." We can only regret that Garner had to exclude "The Duckling That Was Judged on Its Personal Merits and Not on Its Physical Appearance" for space reasons.

In this thin book Garner proposes to create "meaningful literature that is totally free from bias and purged from the influence of its flawed cultura
Sep 28, 2013 Arghavan rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Arghavan by: پگاه
ایدهی قضیه «صرفاً خوب» بود؛ ولی چیزی که باعث شد دوستش داشتهباشم شیوهی سالمسازیِ داستانها بود. کلماتش دقیقاً از همونجور کلماتی بودن که من دوست دارم؛ عبارتهای عریضوطویلی که همهش یه صفت یا یه قید ه و بینِ کلماتش نیمفاصلهس. :-""" البته تو کتاب نیمفاصله نداشت :-" ولی خب :-"
داستانهاش هم بامزه بودن؛ ولی صرفاً «بامزه» و «:}طور». قبلاً جاهایی دیدهبودم -نمیدونم و یادم نمییاد که کجاها- که مثلاً بردارن یه داستانِ فولکلور رو عوض کنن و نمک بپاشن توش و قضیهش رو عوض کنن و اینا؛ ولی چیزی که خیلی دوستش داشتم همین
Feb 03, 2013 Andrea rated it liked it
Shelves: traditional-lit
Politically Correct Bedtime Stories by James Finn Garner takes traditional literature we are all familiar with--Rumpelstiltskin, Little Red Riding Hood, and the Ugly Duckling--and eliminates all of the stereotypes as well anything else anyone would find even remotely offensive, which, in turn, makes these pieces completely ridiculous and laugh-out-loud funny. My focus in reading this book was Rumpelstiltskin, which, quite frankly, was not the strongest piece in the book. It does, however, empowe ...more
Feb 06, 2010 Ch_jank-caporale rated it liked it
Shelves: traditional-lit
When this book was published, it was thought quite humorous. I find it rather trite. But it does raise some intersting questions about the evolution of traditional tales and the "moral lessons" that are embedded in them for children. Tongue-in-cheek, Finn Garner "cleans up" the offensive stereotypes. For instance, in the tale I studied this week, Little Red Riding Hood, when the wolf offers to offered accompany her through the dangerous woods, replies, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the ...more
Erma Talamante
Full review pending....

So much for my New Years goal of getting all these reviews writ...

Finished this before lights out last night. Didn't seem to matter though - it wound the little one up more than made her sleepy. Worked on me, though!
Sep 23, 2008 Tawny rated it it was ok
Shelves: satire
I had wanted to use this book in a classroom setting, but since the stories were changed not only to include "politically correct" ideas, but also immorality and murder, I think I'll pass. Here's a sampling of the harmless stuff:

Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and said, "Grandma, I have brought you some fat-free, sodium-free snacks to salute you in your role of a wise and nurturing matriarch."

From the bed, the wolf said softly, "Come closer, child, so that I might see you."

Red Riding Hood sa
Jiselle Jones
Mar 22, 2016 Jiselle Jones rated it it was amazing
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! I have never laughed so hard for so long while reading. SO, SO, SO, SO, SO FUNNY!!!!! I would give it a thousand stars!!!!!
A m i r
Oct 28, 2015 A m i r rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: short-stories
آقای پوری توی چاپ دوم یه روایتی رو از سایت آقای گارنر نقل میکنه. گارنر میگه سال 2000 آقای پوری طی مکاتباتی ازش اجازه گرفته کتابشو به فارسی برگردونه و بهش گفته که ایران دربند رعایت کپی رایت نیست و نهایتش اینه که چند جلد کتابش به فارسی گیرش بیاد. ناچارن قبول میکنه، هرچند امیدی به همون چند جلد کتاب هم نداره تو دلش. زمان میگذره و ظهر یازدهم سپتامبر توی هیاهوی حادثهی برخورد هواپیما با برجها یه بسته از ایران براش میاد. حس عجیب غریبی داره. میگه اگه توی یه رمان هم اینارو میخوندم باورم نمیشد. توی اون شک ...more
Elly White
Nov 16, 2014 Elly White rated it really liked it
This book is a perfect example of satire done right. The book re tells thirteen classic tales for children and rewrites them using the most politically correct language possible. The overly cautious dialog had me laughing throughout the book. The pied piper now clears a trailer park by playing country music so that new development can take place. Cinderella talks to her her fairy god person or individual deity proxy about the dangers of the male concept of beauty. The three little pigs are armed ...more
Linda Lipko
Feb 23, 2012 Linda Lipko rated it liked it
Witty, funny and spot on in throwing a light on how out of control the US society is regarding political correctness!
Aimee Meester
Feb 13, 2016 Aimee Meester rated it really liked it
Absolutely hilarious. Very short, but witty. 10/10 would recommend.
Aug 31, 2015 Siv30 rated it really liked it
Shelves: satire
פוליטיקלי קורקט חלק א' וב'

הוצאת מודן.

ניסיון חביב ואף משעשע של המחבר לכתוב חלק מאגדות העם בשפה פוליטיקלי קורקט שמנסה לעשות צדק עם כל מיני אוכלוסיות מקופחות ולא מקופחות.

הספר הראשון נועד בעיקר לעשות צדק עם הנשים והסיפורים המשעשעים בו הם כיפה אדומה ושלושה חזירונים קטנים.בספר הראשון דומיננטית הביקורת על הגבר הארופאי הלבן ויחסו להיא-שא.

בספר השני הסופר עובר לתחומים חדשים וכבר עובר לביקורת נוקבת על שמירה על איכות הסביבה (עמי ותמי), שוויון וצדק חברתי(הצרצר והנמלה) עוד קצת על נשים והעצמה נשית(הנסיכה הנמה)
Amir Mojiry
کتاب قرار است هجویه ای باشد از سالم سازی داستان های کلاسیک کودکان. نویسنده (جیمز فین گارنر) بر اساس بازی های زبانی رایج در کشورش (آمریکا) برای پیچیده کردن مفاهیم و جور دیگر بیان کردن مسائل برای از بین بردن تاثیر آن ها، این کتاب را نوشته است. این ایده، جذاب است. که مثلن به جای سرقت ماشین از عبارت «تفویض ناخواسته ی مالکیت» استفاده شود (اتفاقی که واقعن در میان حسابداران مالیاتی آمریکایی افتاده است!) یا به جای «کوتوله» از عبارت «افراد با طول غیر استاندارد» استفاده شود (استفاده ای که نویسنده ی کتاب ح ...more
Jul 03, 2016 Demetra rated it liked it
Shelves: fiction, owned
It is not easy to review this book . I could say, yes it was a funny book you should read it (it's got only 86 pages, so you wouldn't waste your time entirely), but I could also say that it felt quite strange and a bit overdone. If you're looking for fairy tales this is the exact opposit. I enjoyed it and I will probably read it again some day. It wasn't quite demanding, although it included a lot of "weird" words like "anthropomorphise", but other than that it was a good book.
Mar 04, 2010 Yvensong rated it really liked it
Recommended to Yvensong by: Ryk & Julie
Shelves: fantasy
Fun little read with several places to chuckle at. Garner has taken several fairy tales from Little Red Riding Hood to Cinderella and changed the majority of the language to be politically correct. We meet up with vertically-challenged and kindness-challenged and...(well, you get the drift) characters.

Some people may be disturbed by the violence as these tales are a throwback to the earlier Grimm's tales instead of the white-washed tales of Disney and other cleaned up versions. Even so, if you
Sep 03, 2015 Nico rated it liked it
I felt like I was reading a Tumblr SJW feminist version of popular stories. it got a few chuckles out of me, but mainly I cringed because these weren't so far fetched in their writing. I see stuff like this on Tumblr all the time.
Shehan De alwis
Great Stuff. Reinforces how nonsensical the extremes of Political Correctness can go. The fact that fairy tales or more correctly these children's stories with a moral were written in a time when it was not easy to get past childhood. So yes, they were Grimm and sometimes scary to boot. But in today's world we cant afford to chance doing damage to someone elses' sensitivities (even if not aimed at them). When first written, Garner may have taken the PC a bit far. But in todays context, you can s ...more
Lindsay Gough
May 06, 2009 Lindsay Gough rated it really liked it
Ridiculously funny. If you have a deap hatred for anything PC, this book offers releif and therapy. I read it outloud with some friends and we were laughing the whole time. My favorite stories were "Goldilocks" and "The Emperor's New Clothes".

"The emporor is naked!" The parade stopped. The emperor paused. A hush fellover the crowd, until one quick-thinking peasent shouted: "No, he isn't. The emperor is merely endorsing a clothing-optional lifestyle!"

PS. Do not actually read this to your kids as
Mike Berkshire
Nov 11, 2015 Mike Berkshire rated it it was amazing
Rib-crushingly hilarious!!!
This book was something I could not resist purchasing, especially with the .95 price tag. The book.. well, it is pretty much what it claimed to be.

Each fairy tale is lovingly turned into a politically correct, and sanitized version of its formerly heathen self. I read the book with my boyfriend, each of us trading off stories between sips of beer. I would pretty much say that that is the best way to read the book.

Otherwise, well, the jokes get old rather quickly. Still, an amusing novelty read.
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Art +Science=Fireworks 1 15 Mar 23, 2010 09:24PM  
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James Finn Garner is an American writer and satirist based in Chicago.[1] He is the author of Politically Correct Bedtime Stories,[2] Tea Party Fairy Tales, and Honk Honk, My Darling.
More about James Finn Garner...

Other Books in the Series

Politically Correct Bedtime Stories (3 books)
  • Once Upon a More Enlightened Time: More Politically Correct Bedtime Stories
  • The Politically Correct Ultimate Storybook: Politically Correct Bedtime Stories, Politically Correct Holiday Stories, Once Upon a More Enlightened Time

Share This Book

“The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone."

Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way.”
“Alas, if worth be based on beauty,
Snow White has surpassed you, cutie.”
More quotes…