Cleaning House: A Mom's Twelve-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement by Kay Wills Wyma

Jun 26, 2012 Lindsey rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I tried to read past the author's mocking and sarcastic tone as she described her interactions with her children so that I could hear the message and experience. However, I found it very difficult. There are ways to do what she wanted to do that don't involve making fun of the child.

I also don't understand why she was surprised her clan didn't know how to do things like clean a bathroom when she had never taken the time to teach them. Finally, I found it hard to connect with the author because I...more

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Aug 24, 2012 Dana rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This is an awesome book! I actually found a link to the book when I began researching the net about child entitlement. I had noticed to my dismay that my own children were acting as if the world owed them something. A quote from my daughter..."Mom, I am your precious child..you are SUPPOSED to do things for me. That is just the way it works.". I did not know what I had done to lead her to believe this way.

Wyma helped me to see that I had inadvertently been responsible (at least in part) for my c...more

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Apr 20, 2013 Aisha rated it 4 of 5 stars

Empowering kids not enabling takes the main focus in this book. The author's 12 month experiment was filled with 12 areas to enrich the skills of children. Basic training and tasks great for elementary grades and teens. I laughed aloud on the gas pumping episode of her eldest son. Some great things I want to work on with my grade schooler and even a few (making bed habits and ideas) with my preschoolers.
A great call to encourage our kids to work and develop a character of responsibility and acti...more

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Jun 14, 2013 Meghan rated it 2 of 5 stars

I picked this up after seeing it advertised on TV. Youth entitlement is something I worry about with my own kids. After reading this book I am no longer worried. I can't even begin to describe my shock at everything she had neglected to teach her kids. (No understanding of grocery shopping?? What is a toilette bowl brush?? Etc) This book is only applicable to upper class families. She has a house cleaner and a lawn care service for goodness sakes! No WONDER her kids feel entitled to not have to...more I picked this up after seeing it advertised on TV. Youth entitlement is something I worry about with my own kids. After reading this book I am no longer worried. I can't even begin to describe my shock at everything she had neglected to teach her kids. (No understanding of grocery shopping?? What is a toilette bowl brush?? Etc) This book is only applicable to upper class families. She has a house cleaner and a lawn care service for goodness sakes! No WONDER her kids feel entitled to not have to do work around the home, they watch their mom feel entitled not to have to do work around the house!
And then the money jar issue. I am so against kids getting paid to do their regular chores. I think it sets a bad precedent thinking you should only work if you are getting paid for it. Plus once they grow up and have their own homes reality is going to punch them in the face that they STILL have to do all those things except NOT be paid for it. (Not to mention who can afford $31/mos x five kids?? That's $1,860 a year on chores! Not to mention all the "extra" jobs they are paid for as well, or the $50/child JUST to throw a party!) I agree with earning money for the "extra" chores (which I think is actually Dave Ramsey's way too) and with the idea of having motivators, but just not the methods. What about stickers and getting to choose a family activity at the end of the month or alone time with Dad/Mom or ANYTHING else. I think she still is setting the example that the world revolves around money.
The pros of this book is that it opened my eyes to the fact that my kids are more capable than what I probably expect them to be able to do. I may try having my daughter do more indepth meal planning and making(she's ten), for example. I also like the story about the neighbor boy installing the sprinkler system all on his own at age 17 and the self confidence that built. I liked how she equated more responsibility to greater self esteem and self worth. That rung true for me.
Not a bad book per say, just seems like a fairly narrow audience that I'm not a part of. Luckily my kids know that their is work to be done and they ARE going to do it, what I really need now is a book to solve their procrastination issues for cleaning their room. ;) Nice to know that seems very universal with kids and doesn't necessarily mean they are "entitled". I think I have a better definition of that word now.(less)

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May 31, 2013 Bryn rated it 2 of 5 stars

All I can say is 'meh.'

This book is kind of a one note piece. The author picks up the term "youth entitlement" and keeps at it, but without any wider exploration or understanding of the term as a cultural phenomenon. When she (rarely) goes outside her personal opinions and intuitions or those of friends around her, the references are sort of thrown out there without analysis or evidence of exploration of a wider context. As a result I felt like each chapter just kept hitting the same note, makin...more

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Apr 21, 2013 Rian Lemmer rated it 3 of 5 stars

Kay's book presents a good strategy and reflections on how it went, and helped me reshape my thinking about my 'job' as a parent. Sometimes it's hard to break our own routines, but someday these birds will get pushed out of the nest, and they deserve some time to test their wings first! As a society we've developed a drive for success that brings with it a fear of failure. We want to give our kids the advantages of our wisdom, but in giving our kids the safe, error-free path that WE learned the...more

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Apr 09, 2013 Lisa rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction-child-rearing

The short review: I had better uses of my time - more interesting books to read - than to waste it reading this book.

The longer review:
This memoir had a premise that intrigued me. The author spent a year teaching her five children to do more chores and to endeavor to help others, all with the goal of battling their sense of entitlement.

Within the first few pages, I was disgusted. Observing some instance of her children acting spolied and selfish, the author observes to the reader something al...more The short review: I had better uses of my time - more interesting books to read - than to waste it reading this book.

The longer review:
This memoir had a premise that intrigued me. The author spent a year teaching her five children to do more chores and to endeavor to help others, all with the goal of battling their sense of entitlement.

Within the first few pages, I was disgusted. Observing some instance of her children acting spolied and selfish, the author observes to the reader something along the lines of, "I couldn't believe it. Was I raising a bunch of socialists?" First of all, darling, I do not think that word means what you think it means. Because the lessons you proceeded to spend a year teaching your children - you know, to work to benefit the common good of your family? - that's kind of, well, socialism. Second of all, way to alienate your potential audience. Just imagine how offended readers of this review might be if I said, "Socialists? Sounds like you're raising little Republicans to me!" (Which I wouldn't say, because, after all, I have several friends here on Goodreads who are Repulicans - at least three friends! - and they all do great jobs raising their children.)

So, as I plodded through those first few pages, I thought, 'I will get through this book, and perhaps I will hate it, and write a scathing review. Boy, it's been a long time since I put a book on my I-hated-this-book shelf.'

But, no, I didn't hate it, and it will not go on my I-hated-this-book shelf. In fact, I gleaned a few insights from the book, which I can, and will, put into practice with my own kids. I agree with her overall goal of raising children who are self-sufficient and ready to interact with the world. And, while there was a bit too much Christianity throughout the book (for example, that we should work because God made us to work), none of it was too overbearing.

But, mostly, I just felt disconnected to the author. I felt like she was trying too hard. Trying too hard to be Entertaining! And Witty! (Like me in this review?) With Cutesy Code Names for her children! Like someone who could be Your Very Best Friend! It did not work for me. I wanted nothing more than to be done. The whole time I was reading this, I was casting an eye over to my pile of unread books and wishing I were done with this one so I could get on to something more interesting.

I should have noticed the blurb/endorsement on the back cover from Focus on the Family before deciding to read this one. (less)

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Feb 20, 2013 Priscilla rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: parents

I rated "Cleaning House" amazing because it tells a story of a mom who had an insight (certered around youth entitlement) and then (actually) followed through with a positive, creative spirit, great ideas, and even better, told the story of the journey as she took it! That's amazing!

Besides enjoying the frank and honest journey this family took, I enjoyed following Kay's insights as she tried and succeeded and tried and failed. This book is extremely relevant to parenting today, and what the aut...more

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Jan 22, 2013 Pumpkinbear rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenting

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I got God-jacked by this book. Over a third of the way in, the author made an odd comment, in the middle of a discussion about teen employment, that her husband prefers that she and the children not do a lot of driving or enroll in numerous extra-curricular activities. Not that that's unusual, of course (I feel the same way about my schedule), but it was phrased oddly--maybe as if since that's the way he preferred it, that was the way it was going to be? And this came about 30 pages after a weir...more I got God-jacked by this book. Over a third of the way in, the author made an odd comment, in the middle of a discussion about teen employment, that her husband prefers that she and the children not do a lot of driving or enroll in numerous extra-curricular activities. Not that that's unusual, of course (I feel the same way about my schedule), but it was phrased oddly--maybe as if since that's the way he preferred it, that was the way it was going to be? And this came about 30 pages after a weird comment in which Wyma basically says that her husband won't let her mow the yard, even though she enjoys doing it. When you talk about someone ELSE'S reasons for why you are or aren't doing something, that's weird. Very weird. Like, disempowerment weird. At that point, I double-checked the book's subtitle and the back blurb, to see if I'd missed some announcement that the book was coming from a perspective of religious conservatism, but nope, nothing there.

The first outright mention of God didn't come until at least halfway through the book, I think, and then the mentions steadily increased, until finally there were full-on Bible verses being quoted. Every time the level of Christianity got jacked up, I looked at the book's cover again, thinking, "Surely they would have clarified a religious perspective?" Finally, I had the sense to check out those little famous person book blurbs that they put in the front of some books but that I never read. A-ha! Quote from Focus on the Family dude! At least then I knew that I wasn't going crazy!

Mind you, it's perfectly valid to write a book about encouraging children to take responsibility for family chores from a religious perspective (I guess?), but that's not a book that I'd choose to read, normally, and perhaps that explains why I was SO put out with the author's descriptions of her family--perhaps I just don't understand the lens being used, in which it's okay to describe your kids as lazy and your husband as selfish. Not that I think that insulting your family is a religious characteristic, but if I totally missed the religion in the book until I was halfway through, then clearly I'm missing a lot of things about the author's perspective. I am not usually okay with trashing one's family in public, even in memoirs or self-help or whatever this genre is, and the way that the author wrote about her husband during the "shower drain" incident was particularly awkward and troubling. She apparently really thought that he was damaging her son's emotional well-being, and yet she didn't take a stand--now I don't like either of them!

I loved the descriptions of the chores that the author's kids learn to accomplish. My kids do a lot of chores, but they don't make dinner or pump the gas! I think Wyma would have done well to better clarify her overall point with the process, especially to herself--Wyma writes (but doesn't seem to enact, even as she's assigning her kids these chores) that kids do better when they're needed. And that's why MY kids do chores. Unlike the author, I don't have a yard service or a mother's helper. I NEED my kids to unload the dishwasher and clean the bathroom and switch over the laundry and feed the cats. Even when Wyma is enlisting her kids in vital aspects of the running of their household, I didn't often get the impression that the kids understood that they were doing this because they were needed individuals, rather than just being disciplined.

If that's the case, they can feel free to come over to my house. I could really use some more capable hands over here!

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Jan 20, 2013 Amanda Ainge rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction, self-help

I liked this book, it had several philosophies and ideas that I agree with and would like to implement in my own family. I will be changing things a little bit to suit my family and what I feel comfortable with, but I do like the thought process behind her experiment and her willingness to stick with it.

The only thing that would have made it better is if she shared how she overcame her own inadequacies. She talks on how she is a procrastinator and how she got tired of the whining or whatever. I'...more I liked this book, it had several philosophies and ideas that I agree with and would like to implement in my own family. I will be changing things a little bit to suit my family and what I feel comfortable with, but I do like the thought process behind her experiment and her willingness to stick with it.

The only thing that would have made it better is if she shared how she overcame her own inadequacies. She talks on how she is a procrastinator and how she got tired of the whining or whatever. I'd like to know (for purely selfish reasons) how she did it anyway and what helped her to keep going. Plus, life gets busy, how did she make it work when life threw curve balls???? I think I could do it most days, but what about the crazy days in which none of us are home? how does that work with the money? There are days where my kids don't get home until bedtime, should we not have chores that day? Should they get the money since they didn't choose not to do the work? Or do we punish them because I have scheduled us so crazy that we are not home all afternoon, through no fault of their own? I suppose that is simply something I have to decide for myself. I am curious as to how she dealt with those situations.

Here is what I did like:

The concept of teaching kids how to become adults who can manage their life and accomplish tasks.

That each month relied heavily on the one task and then eased up afterwards (for example, each kid cooked once a week for the first month but then only 2x a month after the teaching month.)

I LOVED that she took money away each day instead of adding money. It makes sense that the loss is felt more than the gain. I will absolutely be using that method. Although I will probably do $.50 a day instead...my kids are young and $1 a day is a bit high for my 8, 4 and 2 year old.

I liked the 12 topics she picked: Clutter control, kitchen patrol, grounding time (yardwork), working for a living, domestic dirty jobs (bathrooms), laundry, handyman, entertaining, team playing, errands, service and manners.

I liked that she made a point to inform us that we can't require our kids to perform up to our standards, but we need to decide on a "good enough" that won't play into the enabling, but will require work and effort on our kids part.

I like that she reminded us that nothing is worth our kids feeling worse about themselves, but that the biggest self esteem booster is to work and accomplish something.

Overall, I felt like this was a good, healthy alternative to what "The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" was attempting to preach.(less)

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Dec 30, 2012 Susie Carson rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book is intelligently written, and provides a straightforward idea for ridding kids of the sense of entitlement they seem to be so weighed down with. She outlines her 12 month Experiment in a rather witty way, beginning with her idea of providing incentive ($1 per day) for making beds and ridding bathroom and bedroom floors of clutter. Each month adds a new skill, but not more money! By the end of the year, her kids have learned to shop for groceries, cook, host a party, do the dishes, clea...more

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Oct 26, 2012 Athena Nagel rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: reviewed

I loved this book. I have two children remaining at home and am so interested in not having to do it all anymore. I am definitely going to be implementing some of these strategies. Although my children have special needs I do believe the same process will apply and work – although maybe with some stronger reinforcement or more time. I enjoyed how the book “reads” – not just a book about how to get your children to help but more about the living process. I have children from 7 to 25 – the oldest...more

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Sep 25, 2012 Heather C. rated it 3 of 5 stars

I, like the author, don't think my kids have enough chances in life to take full responsibility for anything, and I feel like it's my job to help them have those opportunities, whether it be making their bed every day or having dialogue with a teacher on their own about how to do better in their classes. So I appreciated her perspective, and will use a lot of her tips in the future.

I didn't like, however, the way she referred to her kids negatively the whole book. I know she was trying to make...more

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Sep 10, 2012 Jamie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Once upon a time Kay Wills Wyma had a revelation; she realized that there was a huge sense of entitlement among her kids and she realized that she’d played a big part in creating an environment that fostered that attitude. It became her mission to rid her household of that sense of entitlement and help her kids learn to become more independent and responsible. Her efforts became known as the Experiment, a 12-month long quest to teach her kids to be more self reliant and teach herself to take a b...more

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Aug 21, 2012 M.K. added it

Here's a detail to begin with: I liked this book enough to keep it two extra days of incurring fines. Not just late-a-day-ten-cent fines, but it's-on-hold-so-hurry-up-already fines.

Wyma realizes one day that her kids expect to be served, have little initiative, and care about all the wrong things. So, she launches a year-long war on her kids' habits, tackling everything from laundry to hosting a party. Along the way they discover the joy of work amid typical growing pains and brick walls.

I've go...more

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Jun 12, 2012 Kate rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: library

The author realized how "easy" her children had it at home. Their sense of entitlement further prompted her to devise a 12 month system where she wasn't doing all of the work and they could contribute while gaining a sense of accomplishment and power within themselves. With the introduction to her 5 children ranging in age from 3-14 the conversation throughout the book was humorous, beneficial and recognizable within my own family when my children were younger. Filled with tips, what worked or d...more

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May 21, 2013 Marie Dicocco rated it 2 of 5 stars

I should have known how I would feel about this book when I read this on page 2:

"I think I'm raising little socialists," I said, "the serve-me kind that are numb to the benefits of ingenuity and hard work, the kind that don't just need to be taken care of--they expect it."

And as I continued to read, this author's political & religious views were screaming at me. If I read that word "entitlement" one more time, I was going to scream! Unfortunately, I wish she really knew what a socialist was...more I should have known how I would feel about this book when I read this on page 2:

"I think I'm raising little socialists," I said, "the serve-me kind that are numb to the benefits of ingenuity and hard work, the kind that don't just need to be taken care of--they expect it."

And as I continued to read, this author's political & religious views were screaming at me. If I read that word "entitlement" one more time, I was going to scream! Unfortunately, I wish she really knew what a socialist was, because her efforts to teach her children the value of doing their share to support the family is certainly closer to socialism that whatever it is that she thinks it is.

Having a 15 year old of my own who resists many of my efforts to do her chores around the house was what drew me to this book, but after reading it, I realized that we are actually okay. My daughter knows how to cook a meal and shop for it. She knows what "produce" is in the grocery store. She knows how to do the dishes. She mows our lawn and knows what a weed is and how to pull it out. She knows how to unclog a toilet. When I told her about the author's method of putting money in a jar and then removing it when chores weren't done, I was told that it wouldn't work on her because she doesn't do her chores for money. She knows that helping around the house is actually something that is done because you are part of a family, and that it is just doing your fair share. And she learned all these things because she was taught them as part of her every day life, not because she needed specific lessons.

So it seems that I've actually raised a real "socialist" in this liberal, progressive family, while this obviously conservative, religious family has kids who are spoiled and lazy. Seems a bit ironic, doesn't it?

I didn't even finish this book. After reading the bathroom chapter, I realized that this book had absolutely nothing to offer me and returned it to the library. If I'd seen the quotes on the cover from organizations such as Focus on the Family and National Religious Broadcasters, I probably would never have checked it out.(less)

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Jan 09, 2013 Katie rated it 3 of 5 stars

I enjoyed the ideas she presented; less because I never knew these things and more because as a mother I need to re-boot occasionally, re-evaluate how things are going and what I could do differently or better as I raise 4 kids. I liked how she took on this project one task at a time, (i.e. each month for a year devoted to a specific task like laundry or clutter control), I liked her realism, and her humor. I liked that by the end she realized it mostly comes down to finding ways to help kids lo...more

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Feb 05, 2013 Jess rated it 4 of 5 stars

This was a great book that really gets you thinking about how best to equip our kids for life outside the nest by encouraging them to be independent and self-sufficient and letting make mistakes sometimes too! I think it's very important and something we all, myself included, really need to make a conscientious effort on for our kids.

I saw some negative reviews about this book being too Christian. I am not personally religious but I didn't find the religious parts to be too heavy handed. I just...more

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Sep 12, 2012 Alissa rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenting

This was much more than a how to organize your house and life book. It was the journey of a mother through her one-year project to help her children be more responsible/capable. I can say now (since my oldest is 4) that I hope to never get to the point that so many parents are at these days, still completely raising and caring for their graduated from high school 'children'. We already have milestones to use as goals for the kids to choose from every couple of months so they feel involved in the...more

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Sep 05, 2012 Christine Cavalier rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenting, non-fiction

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I don't want to rain on a parade here; I see most of the reviews are glowing. I do have a few comments, though, as to why I thought the book was only "OK."

Here are three main "mehs" I have with the book (I have more but these are my main ones):

1. The author doesn't truly get the point of her whole experiment until page 293 or so, and even then, Wyma hardly has a true grasp on the concept. Our behaviors, as humans, affect one another and in turn our own well-being. Common courtesy, empathy, resil...more

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Aug 30, 2012 Dana rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is an awesome book! I actually found a link to the book when I began researching the net about child entitlement. I had noticed to my dismay that my own children were acting as if the world owed them something. A quote from my daughter..."Mom, I am your precious child..you are SUPPOSED to do things for me. That is just the way it works.". I did not know what I had done to lead her to believe this way.

Wyma helped me to see that I had inadvertently been responsible (at least in part) for my c...more

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Jun 28, 2012 melanie (lit*chick) rated it 4 of 5 stars

Managed to fit in reading this one as we unpack from the big move. I am totally convicted that I have been taking it way to easy on my kids, although I'm sure they would disagree. It's about to get ugly up in here. :)
I don't think it was intentional (as far as casting him in a poor light) on the author's part, but her husband clearly didn't seem to be on board. Now my husband is reading it so we can be on the same page (hopefully).
There will be some issue taken with her light tone and obvious "...more

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Jun 05, 2013 Cindy Williams rated it 2 of 5 stars

First off, my mom recommended this book! I'll have to ask her if she thinks we were entitled -- or more likely, the grandkids.

Anyway, I agree with most of the other reviewers, too much chit chat about kids/ religion, not enough specific info. Really annoying & entitled mom & kids! Would be nice if one of my friends came over to do laudry! I can't believe none of the kids' friends do any work either!

That being said, we did start doing the $1 a day for 12 y.o. son (replaces $5/week allowan...more

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Jan 26, 2013 Leanne rated it 2 of 5 stars

I liked some of the ideas for kid chores in this book. My kids already do many of the things listed but the book inspired me to start teaching kitchen tasks - at least to my older child (age 7).

What I didn't like was the overall tone. I found myself wincing at the many lectures that she gave her children - I can only imagine how they felt.

I also didn't like the throw them into the water and let them swim mentality. Of course, my kids are younger, but I pass along new skills by working with the...more

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Jun 16, 2012 Kayla Rice rated it 4 of 5 stars

The minute I saw the title to this book I knew I would want to read it immediately. Entitlement seems to be one of this biggest problems with young people these days. I am a big believer in teaching your children to work hard. Teaching them to earn their own money and not expect hand outs. Teaching them to help around the house at a very young age. I know it is not easy. I consider this book to be wonderful and would recommend it to any person. It gives you the confidence you lack because of tod...more

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Feb 10, 2013 Cindy Brown Ash rated it 3 of 5 stars

We're preparing for a cross-country move with three kids, and I thought Kay Wills Wyma's Cleaning House: A Mom's 12-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement would be a great resource for how to motivate the kids to give me the help I need to make this process go smoothly.

Wyma claims her Experiment was prompted by her 14-year-old son's off-hand request for a Porsche for his 16th birthday. She came up with a twelve-step program to teach the children the hows and whys of self-sufficien...more We're preparing for a cross-country move with three kids, and I thought Kay Wills Wyma's Cleaning House: A Mom's 12-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement would be a great resource for how to motivate the kids to give me the help I need to make this process go smoothly.

Wyma claims her Experiment was prompted by her 14-year-old son's off-hand request for a Porsche for his 16th birthday. She came up with a twelve-step program to teach the children the hows and whys of self-sufficiency. Each month was assigned a step (see below for a list).

Each month she announced, via a pseudo-democratic family meeting, what the project of the month was. She heard the groans, the protests, and the eyerolls, and she persevered. She gave each child his or her own container, put a dollar for each day of the month in it, and then set them to work. If they failed to do the required job they lost a dollar for that day. At the end of the month they kept whatever remained. As the year progressed, the chores that had been practiced the month before were retained, so that in the first month they were earning a dollar a day just for keeping their rooms neat, and by the end of the year they were keeping their rooms neat, doing their own laundry, helping to plan, prepare, and clean up after meals, and more, all for that same dollar. Halfway through she also instituted a jobs board that enabled kids to earn extra on additional projects.

It was generous of Wyma to give readers insight into her family. I always appreciate hearing how normal my kids are -- other people's kids give more or less the same kind of trouble in more or less the same proportions as mine.

It also was reassuring; my kids have been helping set the table, clear dishes, make beds, dust, sweep, empty the dishwasher, sort dirty laundry, fold and put away clean laundry, and help out with the grocery shopping since they were very small. Wyma's kids didn't know what produce was. So at least I knew I hadn't been slacking as much as I feared in the personal responsibility aspect of child-rearing.

But as interesting as I found Wyma's insights, the book was lacking as a parenting guide. It really is just an account of how things went for one family. Her kids never failed; the dollar and her word seemed to be sufficient motivation for them. If I promised my kids a dollar a day to clean their rooms and make their beds, I'm pretty sure they'd earn only maybe half the money (at best), because they are so unaccustomed to having a regular income. Not getting a dollar they wouldn't have gotten anyway makes little impact on them. Nobody in her family ever seemed to balk at whatever she was asking of them, or if they did she didn't talk at all about how she coped with the resistance. They complained and maybe rolled their eyes, and then they did it.

They also never seemed to fail even when they made the attempt. Failure happens, even when the kids are moved by a generous spirit, as when my six-year-old broke a glass while emptying the dishwasher. He was so excited to help and show how capable he was that he was moving fast. The look on his face when he dropped it was heartbreaking. Of course he was barefoot, so my reaction was "DON'T MOVE!" because I was afraid he would step on the glass and cut his feet. But he heard yelling and thought he was in trouble. When we got everything cleaned up he said "I guess I should just go back to putting away the silverware." Of course I reassured him and he got over it; the point is that her kids rarely failed at what they attempted, except from resistance or laziness (as when they were cleaning the bathroom), nor does she address how to draw the line between a job done poorly but with good intentions and a job just flat out done poorly.

Another difficulty I had with this book is that her conservative political bent sometimes manifests as though her kids are liberals (she actually uses the word "socialists") who expect handouts, while she, the responsible conservative, wants them to be responsible for themselves. As a liberal, I really object to her position, but since it doesn't cover the majority of her book, just kind of flavors it, it is not a reason to avoid it altogether. I do want to point out, however, that liberals want their children to be as empowered and capable as conservatives do, and that if she does continue writing like this that I would find her work more compelling if she left the liberal-conservative thing out of it. And also, used the word "socialists" correctly.

I'm not sure if Wyma meant Cleaning House to be a parenting book or a memoir; she did almost no research to support her assertions. She mentioned Michael Gurian's Wonder of Boys a few times, but it sounded like she had heard it recounted to her, rather than read it herself. There were a few other snippets of professional advice scattered throughout, but mostly it was the anecdotal sort from other families, so helpful, but not necessarily authoritative. Surely over the course of a year she could have read his book herself (especially since he blurbed hers for her)? And perhaps one or two others on similar topics?

Overall, I'd give Cleaning House 3 1/2 stars out of 5. I take a full star off for not being specific enough about resistance and failure, and half a star for putting a conservative slant on a topic that does not need to be politicized. If you'd like a jumping off place for helping teach your children to be useful, confident adults, you could do worse than this book. I just wish that Wyma had done rather better.
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Aug 23, 2012 Linda rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I enjoyed this woman's narrative, but the reader needs to be aware of who is telling the tale. This is an upper middle class (possibly lower upper class) woman with a decent-sized house (three bathrooms!) and household help that comes in two times a week, who does not hold a job outside the home. Her school-aged children go to private school (well, it's Texas; the public schools were devastated by Bush and Perry, so I suppose she has to send them there). She has the time and resources to devote...more

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Mar 26, 2013 Tamara rated it 5 of 5 stars

So, I sat down and read the introduction and was literally (okay, figuratively) slapped in the face of my own failings as a controlling and enabling mother, thereby rendering my offspring incapable of doing much for himself. My husband walked by and read the despair in my expression. He asked what was wrong. I said I hate myself. He said, what, you got the wrong book? I said no, I got precisely the right book. and proceeded to sob hysterically. My child, in an effort to console me said, "Mom, ju...more

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Jun 12, 2012 Angie Vallejo rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenting

Hooray! I love how the author saw a situation and dove in wholeheartedly to do what is best for her family and her kids! Entitlement with kids today is a hot topic of many conversations, but this author didn't just talk about it -- she actually did something about it! She shares her one year experiment of teaching her children "real life." As moms, we do want to make life easier for our kids, but we don't realize that by doing so much for them, we are actually harming them. The book is the auth...more

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title link	preview: Cleaning House: A Mom's Twelve-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement
avg rating	preview: Cleaning House: A Mom's Twelve-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement Goodreads rating: 3.82 (616 ratings)
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BBCode	[url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13148238-cleaning-house?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book][img]http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1332720605l/13148238.jpg[/img][/url] [url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13148238-cleaning-house?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book]Cleaning House: A Mom's Twelve-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement by Kay Wills Wyma[/url]

Cleaning House: A Mom's Twelve-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement

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