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Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel

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4.09  ·  Rating Details ·  43 Ratings  ·  11 Reviews
A tour-de-force. A harrowing comic masterpiece. A timely novel that transcends the times. An instant American classic. This is what critics are not saying about Bradley Sands' latest magnum opus, Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel.

A novel in three parts, Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel is the story of one boy detective, the worst ninja in the world, an
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Paperback, 224 pages
Published October 23rd 2011 by Lazy Fascist Press
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30)
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Dan Schwent
Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face is a collection of three novellas. Or is it a novel? That's what Bradley Sands has hired 7 year old detective Frankie Nougat to find out. As Nougat investigates the three stories within, will he find the theme of Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face or die in the attempt?

Frankie Nougat and the Case of the Missing Heart: Frankie Nougat attempts to solve the case of why his parents are getting divorced. Grim hilarity ensues...

Yeah, Frankie Nougat goes through some
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Marvin
May 29, 2012 Marvin rated it it was amazing
Shelves: humor
I was at the doctor's office.

"Well, Doc. It's like this. I have a headache the size of Baltimore, My nose runs like the winner of Kentucky Derby, My body is aching for the fjords and I have an irresistible desire to discuss Existentialism with Nietzsche's horse"

"What have you been reading lately, Marvin?

"Oh, the usual The Great Gatsby, Ulysses, The Exesis of Philip K. Dick at one word a day, and unsolicited excerpts from Journey to Virginland".

My doctor shook his head. He pulled out the rectal t
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Danger
Jul 05, 2015 Danger rated it it was amazing
Nobody can do what Bradley Sands does. You’re going to read this book and you’re going to say to yourself, “This is just some schizo stream-of-consciousness nonsense. OF COURSE I can do this.”

No you can’t.

Because it’s not always the WHAT with Bradley Sands's work, but the HOW that makes it so interesting. His voice is truly unique. His ideas are genuinely bizarre. Together it is the peanut butter and jelly of weird fiction.

The closest analog I can think to a Sands book would be something like th
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Douglas Hackle
Feb 04, 2014 Douglas Hackle rated it it was amazing
One of the three pieces included in this collection of novellas—or this “novel,” if you choose to believe the unreliable meta-Bradley Sands-narrator of the book—is called “Cheesequake Smash-Up.” I’d already read it prior to encountering it again here. As such, I was going to skip it and just read the other two novellas. (That massive, anxiety-inducing, ever-growing list of books I want to read before I die doesn’t permit much time for rereading anything—know what I'm sayin', Sam?) But “Cheesequa ...more
Bradley
Nov 08, 2011 Bradley rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)
Shelves: bizarro, mine
Praise for Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel:

"Bradley Sands has succeeded where all other novelists have failed: he has written the Great American Novel. Martin Amis came close to beating him to the punch a few years ago, but he accidentally wrote his novel on the wrong body of land and has been crying like a little girl ever since. If you have any compassion in your heart, end Martin Amis's sorrow with the joy of Sands's brilliant American prose. But be sure to read Please Do Not Shoo
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Donald Armfield
Nov 08, 2011 Donald Armfield rated it it was amazing
Shelves: bizarro, own
Please Don't Shoot Me In The Face is bigger than the Bible, the best book you'll ever read and that's quote from Little Boy Detective Frankie Nougat.

Bradley Sands ask us to read this novel, that wants to be a novel and find the theme. Or heck with it and have some laughs. From the case of the missing heart to the Cheesequake Smash-Up and ending the novel (or is it?) with the bizarre story of Apocalypse Ninja you will remember the bizarro man himself Bradley' Sands.

Overall my favorite part of Nov
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Amy
Dec 09, 2012 Amy rated it really liked it
Bradley, I feared there would be no giraffe reference in this book, but was greatly relieved when I reached the Epilogue.
Mike Perry
Feb 12, 2013 Mike Perry rated it really liked it
Didn't know what to think when I first started, but I ended up enjoying it.
Jay Slayton-Joslin
Nov 09, 2011 Jay Slayton-Joslin rated it it was amazing
After reading this book I have decided not to shoot Bradley Sands in the face.
Alecia
Alecia rated it it was amazing
Mar 07, 2012
Tramov
Tramov rated it liked it
Jan 17, 2013
Parker
Parker rated it it was amazing
Jun 13, 2013
Jordan
Jordan rated it really liked it
Mar 05, 2012
Michael
Michael rated it liked it
Feb 14, 2012
Jeremy Maddux
Jeremy Maddux rated it it was amazing
Oct 13, 2013
Bookfan92
Bookfan92 rated it really liked it
Nov 18, 2011
Christopher
Christopher rated it did not like it
May 04, 2015
Jason Goodman
Jason Goodman rated it really liked it
Aug 03, 2014
Christopher tm
Christopher tm rated it really liked it
Sep 28, 2012
John Gibbons
Apr 07, 2017 John Gibbons rated it it was amazing
Loved this book. Cheesequake was my fav followed by Apocalypse Ninja. Bradley Sands is one of my new literary heroes. Perfect blend of absurd humor and surrealism.
Mark Mooney
Mark Mooney rated it liked it
Mar 19, 2014
Justin Grimbol
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Jul 11, 2015
Matthew Vaughn
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Jan 09, 2014
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Jan 18, 2013
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krikey rated it did not like it
Oct 21, 2014
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Kevin Ho rated it really liked it
Jul 03, 2014
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Bizarro Fiction: Please Do Not Shoot Me In the Face: A Novel 1 32 Dec 02, 2011 10:10PM  
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Bradley Sands is an author of bizarro fiction. He wrote Dodgeball High, Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy, Rico Slade Will F*cking Kill You, and other books.
More about Bradley Sands...

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