It Rains in February: A Wife's Memoir of Love and Loss

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It Rains in February: A Wife's Memoir of Love and Loss

by Leila Summers (Goodreads Author)

3.56 of 5 stars 3.56 · rating details · 174 ratings · 62 reviews

On the 24th of February 2007 my husband, Stuart, drowned himself at sea, leaving me widowed with two young daughters aged six and four. I knew it wasn't an accident, even though the medics and police never suspected suicide. Stuart had been talking about ending his life for a year. His most recent suicide attempt had been only three weeks earlier. Afterwards, he explained...more

Kindle Edition, 246 pages

Published (first published October 24th 2011)

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Sep 21, 2012 Yianna Yiannacou rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Everyone!!

From the moment the author approached me and asked me to review her memoir I knew I had to say yes. There is just something so personal about reading another persons memoir that will always stay with me.
As soon as I read the first page I was hooked and I knew that this book was going to go straight to my heart. The book begins with Robyn a wonderful housewife who has two beautiful young daughters and a husband that she would die for. It is so easy to get lost in ones perfect little world when n...more From the moment the author approached me and asked me to review her memoir I knew I had to say yes. There is just something so personal about reading another persons memoir that will always stay with me.
As soon as I read the first page I was hooked and I knew that this book was going to go straight to my heart. The book begins with Robyn a wonderful housewife who has two beautiful young daughters and a husband that she would die for. It is so easy to get lost in ones perfect little world when nothing is askew. As soon as Robyn feels like something has changed she becomes suspicious of rumours that are running around about her husband sleeping with their mutual friend. Robyn does not want to believe it but still she confronts Stuart, her husband, and he denies it.

Somewhere along he admits to being adamantly in love with Amanda their friend. Not only does he admit falling for someone else, I think that was when Stuarts depression started to kick in. If not depression, then his chemical imbalance worsened and he wanted to take his own life saying that he couldn’t live with the ‘fridge people’ anymore.

Robyn doesn’t know how to react to it. Stuart is so blunt in saying that Amanda is his soul mate and from the moment he laid eyes on her he knew that she was the one. He still completely respected and loved Robyn who was the mother of his two wonderful daughters but apparently it wasn’t enough for him.

I respect Robyn for staying by Stuarts side at that time because I feel that if she didn’t stay and support him through that, then he would have taken his life much sooner. I don’t know how she stayed calm and composed after finding out the love of her life was in love with someone else. I would have thrown tantrum after tantrum and locked him away in a room with no key, but that is just me. I think Robyn’s love overpowered her feelings of jealousy and her body automatically switched from being his wife to being his friend. I found Stuart very selfish and wanted to smack him a couple of times but other than that, I just felt bad for the guy. I felt like he did it to himself though. It was his fault he was like that and he had no one to blame but himself.

Stuart moves out because he can no longer stay at home since Robyn feels it is the right decision. He goes camping to hotel rooms to even buying his own little place and every single time he went away, he hoped that Amanda would come and visit him. That was all he wanted but Amanda was married. Apparently Amanda loved him back, but not enough to leave her own family and in the end I feel that is what killed Stuart. I am not saying that Amanda SHOULD have left her family, but if she did, Stuart would have been alive.

I loved how the book has real life emails between Robyn and Stuart and how open they always were with one another. Stuart never kept one thing from Robyn which I think is a relief because if he kept everything to himself and hid in a hole, I don’t know how Robyn would have copped with that. The times where she visited him and he didn’t talk were miserable. Stuart does not seem like the person to keep feelings in and when he did it was unbearable to read and I could only imagine how it must have been to be around.

In a last attempt to get into Stuart’s mind, Robyn creates up a person on the other side of the world that Stuart would be able to relate to. Robyn hopes that if Stuart has someone he can talk to than maybe he wont try to take his life - again. At this point in the book Stuart has nothing to say to Robyn or his sister since all they are telling him is to seek help, medically or mentally, but he just wont do it. Robyn writes under the alias name Leila Summers. It appears to be working since he opens up to her, but in the end it just wasn’t enough.

Robyn is a warrior throughout the entire book. She has to deal with her husband trying to take his life, her work life, her social life and the life of her two daughters who are caught right in the middle. She tries to shield them from the truth but making the right decision, Robyn tells them the truth about their father committing suicide. Every single part with her daughters made me cry.

“Mommy why is Granny crying when daddy is so happy in heaven?”
My favourite part was when Robyn went to the psychics and she could see Stuart. She had a message for Robyn about her son. Robyn shook her head since she didn’t have one. The psychics laughed since Stuart apologized for confusing her. It was later when Robyn told her friend what happened and her friend said, “SUN! Not son. The sun, the moon, the stars, and the sea.” That is what he always compared his daughters to since no matter what happened he would always love them more than life itself.

The weather has been very strange this year and when I read the part where Stuart committed suicide it was such bad weather. Instead of snow we had rain and the sky was grey. I felt like the weather was almost connected to the book I was reading. It did the same thing when I was done. When I finished and everything was sort of settled, the sun was setting and it was very peaceful. I know it probably means nothing, but at the moment it meant something to me.

Overall a definite read! I loved every minute even though I was sad for most of the book. (less)

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Aug 31, 2012 Snoozie Suzie rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, around-the-world-challenge, reviewed

This book annoyed, frustrated, and touched a chord with me in that I have undergone both the husband and wife's feelings and situations (the wife only to a certain degree as I have not had to deal with a loved one committing suicide).

I read this as part of a group read on GR and i felt and understanding for both the book, and myself in that I could see me in it.

I probably wouldn't have read this book if it hadn't been a group read as I would have thought it would have made me feel odd - in tha...more

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May 16, 2012 Kimberly rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: review-requested, 2012-bookshelf, around-the-world, south-africa, bios-memoirs-autobiographies

A couple months ago I was approached by the author Robyn who goes by the nom de plume Leila Summers. Usually I don't read books like this but after I read the summary I was convinced that I would have to read it.

A few days ago I finally got around to read it and I'm glad I did. Ever since finishing it though I've been struggling with how I should review it. I mean this isn't a work of fiction...it's some one's life I'm reading about. In fact I don't even think I can properly put into words how I...more A couple months ago I was approached by the author Robyn who goes by the nom de plume Leila Summers. Usually I don't read books like this but after I read the summary I was convinced that I would have to read it.

A few days ago I finally got around to read it and I'm glad I did. Ever since finishing it though I've been struggling with how I should review it. I mean this isn't a work of fiction...it's some one's life I'm reading about. In fact I don't even think I can properly put into words how I felt about this memoir but I'll give it the old college try.

This book was an emotional read for me. Robyn really took me into her world with her words. I loved the way in which she wrote her memoir. For me it was as if I was reading a love letter to her husband, it was deeply personal and very intimate. Several times while reading it I had to stop because I had a sense that I was invading her privacy while there were other times when I had to put the book down because Stuart was making me so angry.

The book is about Robyn's husband Stuart's last 2 years of life, the disintegration of a marriage and a family...and ultimately Stuart's suicide. I really admire Robyn and the rest of the people that stood by Stuart like his sister Ruth. Despite his continued deterioration and that which they themselves endured they still loved him, and unlike many people they didn't turn their backs on him when he fell to pieces.

Even though I read the book I cannot comprehend how much strength it took Robin to keep loving the man that was so willing to walk away from their marriage on the hopes that the woman he had been having an emotional affair with for 2 years before marriage broke up would leave her family. The memoir was raw with emotion and was written beautifully.

Robyn truly inspires me. She held her head high for her daughters and dealt with blow after blow delt by Stuart. Yes she had a difficult time of it, and yes she would get angry at her children because she was so stressed out but that is perfectly understandable given the situation all can be forgiven.

To say I enjoyed this book would be wrong. How could I enjoy a book like this? Yet, that doesn't mean that I didn't love it. This book is a shining example of how a woman had to come to terms with her family falling apart because of her husband's love for another. It took me on a journey that showed that while Robin sometimes wavered, the strength and love she had for her husband stayed throughout the book. She did all she could to save his life, but unfortunately...it was not meant to be. I found myself to be incredibly moved by Robyn's writing and I do hope that she realizes that she has a gift, one that I hope she continues to use because I would love to read more from her.

This book is highly recommended to everyone. It will make your heart hurt...and it will make you feel compassion something that I find is often lacking in the world today. It will take you on a journey of love, forgiveness, and acceptance. (less)

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Dec 20, 2011 Kelsie rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I've only just started this book, but it's already heart-wrenching. With every paragraph, I find myself thinking, "This sounds like my life; such perfect love and tenderness, shattered by greed." It's a page-turner for sure.

Having finished this book, I since recommended it to a number of people. All the way until the end, I never wanted to put the book down. I thought about the characters when I was not reading. The ending was frustrating because the story of Robin's life is left somewhat unres...more

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Jan 20, 2013 Lynne King rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: memoirs

I always find memoirs somewhat difficult to read. I want to read them but when I see someone opening their soul for everyone to read about their lives, I just feel embarrassed to a certain extent, and especially in the case of Stuart, who leaves Leila (Robyn) and her two children for another woman.

I just cannot understand how she could still love this man after the way he treated her. Stuart basically ruined many people's lives, and then to finally commit suicide, well that must have been the fi...more

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Jun 15, 2012 Holly rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

When I first saw this book, I avoided it...I didn't want to read something sad...but after several days of seeing it on the top 100 free list, I decided to download it and maybe save it for later. Little did I know I'd be reading it in short order!

There is a large part of me that wishes this book was not a memoir, because what the author went through is so excruciatingly painful. No one should ever go through what she went through. I applaud her for taking the time to write this book so honestly...more When I first saw this book, I avoided it...I didn't want to read something sad...but after several days of seeing it on the top 100 free list, I decided to download it and maybe save it for later. Little did I know I'd be reading it in short order!

There is a large part of me that wishes this book was not a memoir, because what the author went through is so excruciatingly painful. No one should ever go through what she went through. I applaud her for taking the time to write this book so honestly and so raw. The narrative is lean, like muscle over bone, which made it easy and clean to read. Uncluttered.

My head is swirling with so many emotions...frustration and anger, sadness, and a strong desire to hug my husband and my puppies and it makes me want to stop time for a moment and capture the beauty of NOW. Because last minute doesn't matter and two minutes from now doesn't matter. NOW matters.

There were parts of myself that identified with the author. I am a bit enabling and a bit co-dependent. I like to think I am stronger, but I cannot say for certain I would make different choices if I were in her position. I like to think I would, and that was the part that angered and frustrated me...she left so many decisions up to someone whose emotions flickered in the wind. And her husband reminded me a lot of my ex-husband...the same mannerisms, the bold and brashness, the saying "shocking" things at parties to get a rise out of people, only to later confess he doesn't truly feel that way...

If you are involved with a creative person, you should read this book. Many creative folks also have mood disorders or other disturbances, sensitivities that on the surface, may not seem much more than "eccentricities" but could actually be symptoms of a deeper issue at play. It is always difficult to know where to draw the line on what is "eccentric" and what is something to be taken seriously.

I was saddened to hear that in S. Africa you cannot have someone committed involuntarily. What an immense burden the author carried around! I have been in the presence of the dying, and even though you know death would provide a relief, it does not dull the pain. I do believe that Stuart was mentally ill, and it must have been no different than to watch something you love slowly turn into someone unrecognizable due to the pain they are in. And despite your desire to remove said pain, you must let someone go on their own terms, as horrible and as far removed it is from your own beliefs. I do not envy her here at all.

I cannot say I have walked away with any better understanding of one's wanting to end their own life. I can understand the desire to make the pain stop, yes, but to refuse treatment...it galls me...and to expect those who love you to just accept your refusal of treatment and watch you slowly die and transform into someone no longer recognizable...a tragedy!

So yeah, I think I'm angry. But this is LIFE. And it's NOT easy and it's NOT rainbows and unicorns and it IS beautiful and ugly all at once. And it deserves recognition. Not just the beautiful parts, but the ugly parts as well. If you are ready to face the beauty and the ugly, I recommend you give this book a try. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.(less)

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Jun 13, 2012 Renee rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

A poignant memoir written by a woman for her two children to read when they are grown about their father's mental deterioration and suicide following an affair with another woman. Leila is compassionate throughout the story as she watches her husband's mind dissolve with his obsession with Amanda, one of their best friends.

I struggled with her inability to get mad at him, although there are times when she does. But she sees how much pain and agony he is in. Having a mental illness myself, I can...more

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Feb 12, 2012 Dana Burgess rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Memoirs are not my favourite books to read. Very often, when I get review requests for them, I find a kind way to turn them down. When Leila Summers approached me asking if I would review her memoir, It Rains in February: A Wife's Memoir of Love and Loss I must have been having a particularly off day because I said yes. Thank goodness for that particularly off day.

It Rains in February is written from the point of view of the author in the form of a sort of letter to her late husband outlining th...more Memoirs are not my favourite books to read. Very often, when I get review requests for them, I find a kind way to turn them down. When Leila Summers approached me asking if I would review her memoir, It Rains in February: A Wife's Memoir of Love and Loss I must have been having a particularly off day because I said yes. Thank goodness for that particularly off day.

It Rains in February is written from the point of view of the author in the form of a sort of letter to her late husband outlining the fear, pain, love and agony she experience as he was sucked into a vortex of mental illness that eventually resulted in his suicide.

What surprised me the most about this epistle is the gentle and honest tone of the writing. Leila Summers (aka Robin) bares her soul in her writing and allows the reader into, what must be, the most painful and personal moments in her life. She doesn't try to excuse her decisions or behaviour or the behaviour of Stuart, her husband. She doesn't place blame for his illness or his actions on anyone. She simply (I can't believe I just used that word - I'm sure none of this was simple at all) opens her heart and lets it bleed over the pages. The result is a powerful, honest, loving remembrance.

For anyone wanting to understand mental illness from the point of view of those who love the sufferers, this book should fall into the category of required reading. For anyone who has ever said 'I don't understand how someone could kill themselves.' It Rains in February should be required reading. For those suffering from a mental illness wanting to understand how anyone could love them ... you get the idea.

Kudos to Ms Summers for having written about a devastating, life-altering experience without succumbing to sappy, overly sentimental drivel. There were many times, as I read the book, that I wondered how I would react if faced with similar circumstances. We all will face calamities in our own lives. I'm sure that we will all make our own decisions based on our belief systems and life experiences. One day, when I look back over the difficult times in my life, I hope I will see that I have dealt with them with the same grace, forgiveness and love that Leila drew upon during this time in her life.
(less)

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Dec 25, 2011 Alice Belikov First lady Ivashkov rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Wow, this book was truly AMAZING! I read this book in one sitting which is rare for me(slow reader) but I couldn't find the strength to put it down. I found myself experiencing every heart-breaking moment with the character Robyn as she took me through her journey of life,love,loss,hope, and finally freedom.

Robyn a wife of two children finds out that her husband, Stuart of seven years(hope I'm correct) is having an affair and is dangerously in love with another women. Robyn's life is torn apart...more

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Aug 30, 2012 Denise rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir-biography, non-fiction, read-in-2012

I am finding it really hard to write this review. I don't quite know how to describe how I felt about this book. On the one hand I felt that it was written well and it drew me in easily, and on the other hand I became extremely angered by the actions of multiple people in this book and was very close to giving up reading this book. Ultimately I decided to keep reading this book and I am glad that I did.

I have to commend the author for her writing style. She told her story beautifully and her inc...more

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Jun 24, 2012 Tiah added it · review of another edition

25% - I have been avoiding this book despite buying it ages ago. Suicide is an all too real event in my family tree. As are affairs, alcoholism, depression, paranoia and a host of other complications. All of which are pouring themselves into my current ms, in their own way. So perhaps the fact that I could write my own fictional tale that is so downright sorrowful made me feel brave enough to give it ago.

25percent in and I am still fine. The writing is the best I have ever read for a self-publi...more 25% - I have been avoiding this book despite buying it ages ago. Suicide is an all too real event in my family tree. As are affairs, alcoholism, depression, paranoia and a host of other complications. All of which are pouring themselves into my current ms, in their own way. So perhaps the fact that I could write my own fictional tale that is so downright sorrowful made me feel brave enough to give it ago.

25percent in and I am still fine. The writing is the best I have ever read for a self-published work.

I cannot, however, fathom having the author's...I'm not sure the words. Never say never, and nobody really knows how they will act unless in their shoes. But telling my own husband about this book he was in no doubt that I would not be as - charitable? - as this woman is. She married a man whom she clearly loved dearly. So it feels awful to say how much I want to reach out there, through the pages, and smack him across the face.

Depression is a disease and not one to be trifled with. No two people handle the same challenges or diseases the same. I know. But even in depression there are choices, as limited as they may be. I am not discussing the end of the man's life, but in his actions to torment his very own wife. To keep speaking of his love to the woman who loves him, and the two are not the same.

I keep wondering where his parents, her parents are in this book. Perhaps in the further 78 percent. What is spooky is how much the two of our stories, her's sadly personal fact, mine fiction, overlap. Even in vast differences, some feelings are universal.

But he bugs me. I want to scream at him for the pain he seemingly selfishly inflicts. At what point is it the depression and the other the self indulgent attitude of which he displayed from the moments of their first courtship? I suppose there is no clear line.

I was relieved she saw somebody for her own head. The need to love oneself. I wanted to cheer at this. Because that is exactly the problem in the dynamic, and one I see so often between the depressed and the carer of - that the love for the self, the love to say 'I have feelings too' seems to get shoved aside for the singular goal of keeping the other together. Yet...you can't do it for them. That is the hardest lesson to learn when being around the depressed. Ultimately it is the choice to get help or not.

I hope by the end of the book (or at the end of her journey to reach this point where she can publish such a book) she has found a love for herself.

- Reached the end, and not much I said from above changed. It is beautifully written, sad and does raise a number of issues. The man had problems and there are reasons for his problems. But he was abusive to his wife. He had choices: to take or not take the drugs that could have helped him, to have found a therapist rather than use his wife as one and so on. He may not have been able to help his disease, but there were choices within that framework that he chose, and the fault of those choices lies with him. But nothing is as simple as that. (less)

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Mar 30, 2012 Vannessagrace Vannessagrace rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: memoir, lelia-summers

When I sit down to read I want to be educated, entertained, inspired, wowed or want to go in search of answers. I felt none of this with It Rains In February. Had I not been asked to review this book by the author, I would not have spent time reading all 232 pages.

It Rains In February is about a couple with mental health issues who spend years enabling one another. I felt truly sorry for the children who were trapped in the middle of the mental illnesses and hope they survived it.

What I didn’t...more

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Apr 22, 2012 Patricia Puddle rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: autobiographies, inspirations-books

I started reading this book and though I don't have a lot of time to read these days, I couldn't put it down. The story is sad and had me hooked from the start. The author, Leila, (Robyn) was brave to write it and it must have been hard, though it probably helped with the healing process. It was quite frustrating in parts as you want to shake her for letting her husband treat her the way he did. Though he was suffering from depression, he was in love with another woman and kept telling her that...more I started reading this book and though I don't have a lot of time to read these days, I couldn't put it down. The story is sad and had me hooked from the start. The author, Leila, (Robyn) was brave to write it and it must have been hard, though it probably helped with the healing process. It was quite frustrating in parts as you want to shake her for letting her husband treat her the way he did. Though he was suffering from depression, he was in love with another woman and kept telling her that if he couldn't have her, he would kill himself. The other woman happened to be a friend of theirs and although she apparently loved him back, she chose to stay with her own husband and children. The MC, Robyn, supported her depressed husband and kept trying to get him to seek medical help for his depression. He refused and moved out of their home and many miles away in the hope that his new love would join him. She didn't and his depression got worse, though he still had a relationship with his wife and she visited him often.

Robyn had to accept that her husband wasn't in love with her anymore, but kept helping him with everything because she still loved him. plus they had two little girls who he adored and them him. Robyn even went as far as to beg the other woman to visit him in the hope that he wouldn't attempt suicide again. She also tried to get him to see a psychiatrist and go to a hospital, but he threatened to kill himself in there if she arranged it. Should Robyn have kept helping him and sacrificing her own well being for years on end? I'm not sure, but she did what her heart told her to do and no matter what she did, the outcome would have probably been the same. Even if she had forced the issue of having him taken to a mental health hospital and put on antidepressants, he still could have killed himself. Mental illness is so complicated and no one can know if even a medication can help certain people. My thoughts are that Robyn tried her very hardest to keep him alive, for himself, his children, and for her. She was totally selfless, which is rare in this world. My sadness was also for the children who must wonder why their daddy didn't want to stay alive - to be with them. Hopefully, when they're older, they will do some research on mental illness and realise that even their father had no control over his own life and death, and that he was unlucky enough to have had a chemical imbalance through no fault of his own.

I actually think he may have fallen for the other woman because of his mental illness, and it was probably just infatuation, maybe he enjoyed the high of being in love as an escape from his dark thoughts of death. Had he spent time with this woman he may have even gone back to his wife and children. After reading all his letters in the story and his desperation to be with this other woman, it seemed to me that it was her rejection that he couldn't take. Maybe he had self esteem problems, maybe not, but that's just my thoughts. He was probably already depressed before meeting her and that rejection made it worse.

Depression can be cause by many things, firstly the person usually has the inherited gene, and then if other things happen, like losing a family member or pet, as well as financial problems, it can trigger it off. Maybe even a fear off being left alone or work issues or loss of a friendship. In this story the husband had lost a dear pet that was his best friend and I'm sure that affected him more than he let on. I've known people who were depressed for years after losing a pet. Our pets are our babies, so it's understandable. But with this man it was much more complicated. He chose his own future and now the family are left behind to pick up the pieces. I think there is no one to blame. It's just all too sad and I hope that the author can find closure and meet someone who'll give back all the unconditional love to her that she gave to her husband. I'm sure with a mother like they have, the children will grow up strong and healthy and with compassion just like their wonderful mother. And to the other woman, well she must feel bad too and probably guilty. I don't think she should though. None of it was her fault, after all, it seems she sacrificed her own love for this man, probably for her children and her own husband, who she'd made vows too. Good luck to all of them.

I highly recommend this book to all adults and teens. There are people in many families that suffer from undiagnosed depression. The symptoms are not always obvious. Look for withdrawal and don't let fake smiles fool you. If someone you know has been suffering from long-term depression, and has been threatening suicide, then they suddenly seems really happy, it could be that they are planning suicide that day. They may not be, but it's worth watching them, just in case.(less)

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Mar 05, 2012 Bobby J rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book reinforces my admiration of the strength that comes in the human form. Ms. Summers' recollection of events of such a horrible part of her life and then being able to put said events on paper is astounding. The mixture of a verbal account of occurrences with the letters and e-mails that accompany these occurrences is really well done. Ms. Summers puts us right into her shoes of both utter frustration ...as well as complete and total dedication and caring. Even though the outcome is neve...more

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Jan 01, 2012 Georgette rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: awesome, biography

Leila Summers has written a beautiful, heart wrenching biography of her marriage to Stuart, her husband of many years. Leila meets, falls head over heels in love, and marries Stuart. They have two beautiful girls, who remain the light of both of them. Somewhere in between paradise and purgatory, Leila begins to sense a change in her husband. A man who was so creative, driven by their mutual passion, and happy with their lives in Durban, suddenly seems out of place, sometimes overemotional, somet...more Leila Summers has written a beautiful, heart wrenching biography of her marriage to Stuart, her husband of many years. Leila meets, falls head over heels in love, and marries Stuart. They have two beautiful girls, who remain the light of both of them. Somewhere in between paradise and purgatory, Leila begins to sense a change in her husband. A man who was so creative, driven by their mutual passion, and happy with their lives in Durban, suddenly seems out of place, sometimes overemotional, sometimes distant to the point of distraction. Stuart eventually confesses to Leila that he has fallen in love with a mutual friend of theirs, who sings with him and is also married. Things go into a spiral from this point on. Leila remains strong and attempts to get Stuart to open up and talk, and along with his sister, attempts to keep him on a happier plain. Sadly, Stuart attempts suicide and the battle to save him continues. The letters and emails that Leila shares in her book are beautiful, blunt, and so hard to read, because there is such an open honesty to them. Leila loves her husband very much, despite her sadness and sometimes anger at the dissolution of her marriage, and she never stops trying to reach him. She speaks honestly throughout the book of her battles to remain optimistic in the face of such an uphill battle, and she attempts to keep life uncomplicated and as normal as possible, espicially to their two little girls. Stuart's sadness permeates the pages, as it becomes apparent to him that his love for the friend, remains a solitary one and unrequited to some extent, and furthers his desire to no longer be among the living. Ultimately, it's a book on the beginning, middle, and end of a not only a marriage ending, but also the life of a driven, vibrant man lost in the tailights of depression. You feel hopeful for Leila and her girls, that life does indeed go on, and that Stuart will always be remembered with joy and compassion, thanks to the way Leila has brought him to life in the pages of this book. I will recommend it heartily. (less)

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Mar 19, 2012 Sara rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: memoir-biography

This is a gorgeously written and moving account of a family that is broken by the mental illness and subsequent suicide of the husband/father. It begins as a love letter to Stuart (the father/husband) and it shared intimate details of a young and passionate love. The book is written to Stuart, and it is completely heartbreaking. It is so beautiful and so sad, simultaneously.

The author does absolutely everything she can think of to prevent the death of her husband, and I mean everything, above a...more

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Feb 26, 2012 Michele Kallio rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

IT RAINS IN FEBRUARY is an incredibly moving memoir of a young wife's love and loss. Leila Summers tells the unbearably sad story of her husband's illness and suicide with tenderness and love. It is a difficult book to review but one I highly recommend be be read. IT RAINS IN FEBRUARY will take you on the rollercoaster ride that was Summer's life. Through emails she reveals her husband's illness and her unending support for him. It is a tale of loss but it is also a story of hope, for although h...more

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Apr 15, 2012 Elizabeth rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: biographies

I discovered Leila Summers through goodreads, or more rightly, she discovered me. No matter. It is one of the happy serendipities of the universe that I should find this eloquent, gifted author. She has written quite a courageous book about the loss of her beloved husband. A heart-wrenching read and yet still a book of resolute hope and the power of love to triumph. I made the mistake of starting this book at 11 pm and finally forced myself to stop in the wee hours of the morning, 75% through. H...more

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Feb 13, 2013 Lizbeth rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I downloaded It Rains in February at a time when I was much too busy to read, but promised myself I'd get to it some time soon. The moment I read the first two chapters, I knew I had to put everything else to the side.

I'm a huge fan of books where dead husbands are the theme, and generally feel very sorry for the left-behind wife. I didn't feel that way at all with this book, but I certainly felt like I knew the author after reading it and could feel her profound pain.

This was a beautifully wri...more

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Dec 17, 2012 Patti rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Very sad story yet written with the understanding that none of us can control anyone but ourselves. I appreciate real-life memoirs which share the life secrets of strong women faced with life obstacles that appear insurmountable. Books like this one by Leila Summers (pen name) provide inspiration and teach something that is real-life practical,and what woman wouldn't benefit from learning more about "how to safe a life"? . This book gave me that, and was a relatively quick read: started and fini...more

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Sep 23, 2012 Lynda Kelly rated it 3 of 5 stars

Pretty grim since it's about a young wife left as a widow when her husband kills himself leaving her with two young daughters. I found her husband to be a selfish sod and not a very nice person at all if I'm brutally honest. Some of the things he said to her and the way he treated her were terrible and I thought he was a c*nt !! But then I guess he clearly wasn't well but he WAS of sound mind most of the times and still a piece of work.
He clearly adored his daughters and his dear dog but I found...more

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Mar 23, 2012 Michayla rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

It Rains in February is the saddest book I've read in quite a while, and yet, the writing style and just the story itself made it very hard for me to put down. Leila Summers tells about her husband's depression and ensuing suicide in a very addicting, heart-felt way. I ached with her grief and felt joy when she found happiness. There is no happy ending to this book, not the kind you would expect anyway, but life doesn't always give happy endings. Although I didn't agree with and was somewhat dis...more

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Aug 26, 2012 Paola Graziani rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction

In the eight days I read this book, Leila's memoir was constantly on my mind. I experienced a variety of emotions such as disbelief, compassion, and admiration. Leila's strength and unconditional love are remarkable. But putting Stuart's needs before her own made me want to scream at times. I tried to imagine what it must be like to live with someone like Stuart when suicidal wishes are triggered by an obsession with another woman. I didn't succeed so I read the story through Leila's eyes.

The w...more

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Nov 18, 2011 Theresa rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: first-reads

To be honest....Amazing...but very hard to read. I have people in my family with bi-polar. The heart-wrenching agony that the family members go through are too close to me. I did ..however...learn about the disease through the eyes of Robyn...the wife. She was amazing in her love and selflessness for her husband...Stuart. Patience of a saint at times. I am not so sure I could do the same. I learned that one cannot help another...no matter how much you love them ....unless that person WANTS the h...more

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Oct 24, 2012 Marianne rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I was drawn in from the first page - i love the way the author told her story. I also recognized myself on her pages, especially towards the end when she was talking about the healing involved from telling such a tale. I admire the author's strength and courage. She should be proud to have created this legacy for her daughters. They are very lucky to have her as a mother. I have already recommended it to several friends that I knew who could relate. Thank you for being brave.

Marianne Curtis
Autho...more

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Mar 03, 2013 Jessica rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: giveaways, memoir, read-in-2013

This memoir read like a loving letter to the author's husband, detailing the year that led up to his death and what happened after. I feel strongly for Robyn (Leila is a pseudonym), having experienced the shock and grief of having a friend take his own life. I can only imagine how much more pain she has gone through and is still going through. Knowing that Stuart intended to end his life and yet being powerless to prevent it only adds to the hurt. I admire Robyn for her strength to recount such...more This memoir read like a loving letter to the author's husband, detailing the year that led up to his death and what happened after. I feel strongly for Robyn (Leila is a pseudonym), having experienced the shock and grief of having a friend take his own life. I can only imagine how much more pain she has gone through and is still going through. Knowing that Stuart intended to end his life and yet being powerless to prevent it only adds to the hurt. I admire Robyn for her strength to recount such a personal story and applaud her for trying to heal after a traumatic period.

This book has offered a little insight into a suicidal person's point of view, but I don't think anyone can ever gain a thorough understanding of it unless they themselves are going through the experience. Also, it was thought provoking; do you honour a person's free will and choice to end his life? I felt that anyone would have wanted Stuart to stay alive, even Robyn, and she really tried all she could to save him. But knowing he is suffering through each day, it can seem as if death was a better option for him. Of course, there are no answers to such crazy questions that I can't even begin to contemplate. I hope it has helped Robyn somewhat to know that Stuart did try within the best of his ability on account of her and the children, no matter what caused him to shun medical treatment.

I am glad Robyn was able to seek and accept help when too much of the stress affected her life, causing her to yell at her children and not being able to tackle chores. As a stranger, I do feel anger towards Stuart for his selfishness; his leaving behind so many who love him and his refusal of any form of treatment or help. However, I really feel a deep understanding towards Robyn for continuing to love him despite all that (her inability to be angry with him.) Perhaps it is a character thing or maybe because I have also been in a similar position, although not something as serious as a suicide. That's why I don't see Robyn as being weak for being unable to find her anger towards Stuart. It takes strength to still love someone even when it hurts so much. Not to mention try to hold her family together, and giving her kids the best life possible under such painful circumstances.

* I received this book through Goodread's First Reads Giveaway
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Dec 22, 2012 Grace Peterson rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

What is love? Is the warm fuzzies we feel while embracing our husband of 30 years under a moonlit sky? Is it opening a small, exquisitely wrapped package to find a diamond of commitment?

It Rains In February: A Wife’s Memoir of Love and Loss, written by Leila Summers, answers this question without even trying. It is the true-life account of one woman’s struggle to help her mentally ill husband.

Set in exotic South Africa, Leila and Stuart meet, fall headlong in love, get married and have two dau...more

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Jun 29, 2012 Christine rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

It Rains in February, the story of author Leila Summers'journey with a severely depressed husband intent on ending his life is a compelling story. In some ways I felt like I was on a speeding train headed for a certain crash ahead, but with no way off. And no way to stop the train.

Sometimes there is nothing we can do.

Through sharing her thoughts, feelings, hopes, struggles, and desperate actions along this fateful journey to try to save her husband's life, Summers gives us all the great gift of...more

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Dec 23, 2012 Tanya Puckett rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

After reading some negative reviews on amazon, I was concerned I might not like the wife in this book. Although I probably won't pass it along to most friends due to the dark subject matter, it was right up my alley. I really liked the book and empathized with the writer. I've always thought suicide was such a selfish act, but after reading this memoir, I'm seeing this man's choice in a different light. I love books that make you question your beliefs. This one was sad but captivating.

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Jul 02, 2012 Lesuong rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This was overall a decent book. There were parts that I thought moved somewhat slow & some parts that I felt the writing was pretentious. I kept wondering why the main character kept wanting her husband back considering that he cheated on her & would repeatedly tell her that he loved another woman. I understand she built her life with him, but there has to be a point where you need to do what's right for you. --Just my thoughts & opinions though... I honestly have never been in her s...more

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About Leila Summers

Leila Summers is a freelance writer and entrepreneur, with a love for all things creative and human. She lives in South Africa with her two daughters and entourage of pets. As a Gemini, she has boundless energy and enthusiasm for learning new things and her variety of interests include reading, design, marketing, crafting, photography and holistic living. Leila has always had a passion for storyte...more

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“Sometimes in life, the happy ending unfolds, not through circumstances, but from what we learn from those circumstances.” — 3 people liked it

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