My Friend Dahmer

Feb 11, 2013 Mariel rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: cat skulls stacked to the black hole sunset

Recommended to Mariel by: stem to stem

I had normal friendships in high school... and really never had any close friendships after high school. - Jeffrey Dahmer

I followed up a suicide book with a shut-in book and on those heels My Friend Dahmer. I'm more than a little bummed out right now. Sometimes I'll try to bring myself out of myself by allowing me to act incredibly over the top mopey cry baby. I'll put in a bleak song and really get into it. Somehow this cheers me up. It is out of the system. Reading My Friend Dahmer made me cry...more I had normal friendships in high school... and really never had any close friendships after high school. - Jeffrey Dahmer

I followed up a suicide book with a shut-in book and on those heels My Friend Dahmer. I'm more than a little bummed out right now. Sometimes I'll try to bring myself out of myself by allowing me to act incredibly over the top mopey cry baby. I'll put in a bleak song and really get into it. Somehow this cheers me up. It is out of the system. Reading My Friend Dahmer made me cry. I feel really sick. I really couldn't feel worse. What is wrong with me? Why did I choose THIS to read? I will read prison memoirs when I feel like a freak. I'm not helping me much. It isn't the same. I have a collection of dvds I've owned for years that I am afraid to watch for fear that it will resonate within me that feeling of not belonging. (At this point I will watch a rerun of Fresh Prince of Bell-Air. I've confessed to this before on goodreads. I'm going to have to get a life for more book review material.) The illustrations by high school (well, sorta) chum of Dahmer's Derf Backderf (his parents didn't name him Derf) reminded me of Charles Bronson's prison art (thank god I found a reasonable segue). The incredible pain behind holding onto to an out of reach sanity. The pen is severed at the hand and what I relate to too much to call the knife is mightier than the pen. Derf feels this about Dahmer now, as an adult. He was making his Jeffrey Dahmer comics when they were in school. Dahmer featured in everything he made. I wonder about this like maybe Backderf wanted to keep Dahmer around so he wouldn't sneak up behind him in his own nightmares. Does anyone else feel cold and a need to purge inside like it could keep you safe from any darkness you may share?

There's something else the art reminds me of but I don't know my comic art well enough to place it. Definitely something older, not Doonesbury but the '70s outfits were digging. I should just say it is set in and feels like the 1970s. The kids gestures were reminiscent of Funky Winkerbeam (I'm not showing off. I know I just got that name wrong). Thumbs out and come check this out, guys! Jeans and beer and nothing to do. Cruising on the street. Jeffrey Dahmer's quote that he was a normal kid like everyone else kicks off the book. I don't believe that that was true. That he wanted to be a normal kid is enough. I want to throw up now. Dahmer shows kids the animals he keeps in acid filled jars in the shed behind the family's home. Hey guys, come on and check this out.

When he gets to high school Dahmer finds the first and only friends he will ever have. If you could call it friends. I want to call it friends and I just can't. They call their gang "The Jeffrey Dahmer Fan Club". It wasn't a fan club. More like a freak show affair. The art sidelines the sad truths of Dahmer's life opposite the town rolling everyone by like an uncaring dustbowl before the big bad comes to town with ninja stars on his heels. His antics that are amusing to them are Dahmer reenacting his mother's helpless looney spasms. I wonder about the little brother (Backderf acknowledges the importance of the father and brother. Only they don't enter the self centered high school boys orbit). I don't really want to think about that the only friends he ever had kept him around as a side show attraction. Backderf seems to be both relieved that they did that much for this hopeless person, light from the top of a prison cell it must have been, and also guilty that they lived their aimless teenager days like watching horrific car wrecks on a daily basis. Dahmer must have had something to cling to if he could sit with them in school. He finishes out the school year hiding on the grounds with a bottle. They no longer find his inner fury and pain amusing and run away. Dahmer loses his grip on sanity. There are other closeted homosexuals in their school. Dahmer is the only one who fantasizes about dead men. Backderf doesn't dream of a happy life for Dahmer but one at least safe doped up on drugs in the relative safety of somewhere hidden away. Dahmer gets pissed drunk every day. His alcoholic breath could have breathed fire on the adults for all that they paid attention. What would have happened if anyone had tried to do anything? I can't see anything that could have been done. I wish I could see something and I can't. The best that is going to happen is that these boys who didn't really like him let him hang out with them and be fodder for jokes. That's not what is really bothering me it is that feeling that Dahmer must have tried during that time to hold onto something. It is moving that Backderf must've seen this and can't pretend it was nothing. You can't be dumb kids in a small town not giving a fuck about anything until people aren't even people anymore. Dogs and cats disappear to die in the woods. What next? His mind would have been in a hell far away and so very near. I'm super depressed thinking about this. It's tragic to live losing and that hell was still something to lose and so many paid. It's just dark. I guess writing a review about it didn't really exercise that grief either. I don't want to think about this anymore. Except I still am...(less)

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Aug 09, 2012 M rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: graphic-novels

So far this book is absurd and offensive. The idea that it's necessarily Dahmer's parents and adults at the school who are to blame for his crimes is hammered home pretty early. The schools are chided for being overcrowded facilities where teachers don't take the time to get involved in their students' personal lives (uhhh every public high school in the U.S.).

The author claims "friendship" with Dahmer while also saying he made fun of him, but not in a mean way, in a "you're genuinely amusing"...more So far this book is absurd and offensive. The idea that it's necessarily Dahmer's parents and adults at the school who are to blame for his crimes is hammered home pretty early. The schools are chided for being overcrowded facilities where teachers don't take the time to get involved in their students' personal lives (uhhh every public high school in the U.S.).

The author claims "friendship" with Dahmer while also saying he made fun of him, but not in a mean way, in a "you're genuinely amusing" way. Apologist bullying. He deflects responsibility for his own childish interactions with Dahmer while at the same time calling out those who made fun of Dahmer, asserting that, because of this bullying, many people view Dahmer as an "antihero, a bullied kid who lashed out at the society that rejected him" (11). Having read a wealth of research about Dahmer, this has never been a broadly-held (or even narrowly-held for that matter) view. You'd be hard-pressed to prove that bullying leads to serial killing, cannibalism, and sexual assault of zombified victims. There was more wrong with him than being bullied. Just gonna throw that out there.

In addition, while using the word "friend," the author clearly tries to distance himself from Dahmer, unnecessarily letting us know that he is definitely not gay (as illustrated by a woman's large round ass he's staring at in one panel) and also saying he always felt something was kind of wrong with Dahmer. What is not surprising is that while the author rails against adults and their lack of concern for Dahmer, he demonstrates no culpability himself, despite clearly asserting that he was closer to Dahmer than most others in his life. This is not friendship, nor should it be represented as such.

There is clearly extreme bias as well as an underdeveloped understanding of the research involving Dahmer's mental illness. Here is someone profiting off of a serial killer's crimes by pretending to have insider "friend" information and directly calling everyone out except the one pitiful and highly disturbed person who is ultimately responsible. Granted, the author does have a disclaimer in the preface where he says that ultimately Dahmer is responsible, but he does not put forth this view throughout the book. Instead, he tries to create a creepy view of Dahmer and his family and to vilify his family as well as all other adults in his life. It's lazy and shoddy writing.

In short, the writing is weak, and I was unimpressed with the artwork. I rarely rate a book before finishing, but this time, I'll make an exception half-way through.(less)

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Sep 28, 2012 Joanna rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 1960s-1970s, 2010s, biography, comix, amurika

This was really disappointing. So... it's sorta a memoir by this guy who knew and kinda bullied Jeffrey Dahmer when he was in High School. Sounds okay! How can that be boring.

It's kinda boring.

Problem is, I'm more sympathetic to Dahmer than Derf! That's crazy! I mean, it's Dahmer and Derf is just like... a douche. But even then the douchiest douche can't possibly inspire more negative feelings than a goddamn serial killer! I mean... can it?

Derf's not even that much of a douche. Kinda flawed i...more

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May 12, 2013 J rated it 4 of 5 stars

To call this book upsetting is an understatement. It is a memoir account of the author's relationship with Jeffrey Dahmer during his youth (ranging from middle school to graduation from high school) in a secluded town in Ohio. The fact that Dahmer was undeniably creepy and not just a little spooky isn't what is upsetting. That Dahmer had a proclivity for cruelty to people and animals isn't what makes this book scary. What makes it chilling is how everyone- his peers, his family and the adults- k...more

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May 09, 2013 Kayla rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites

So while waiting for my final in Ancient Rhetoric to begin earlier today (which is, despite the name, bar none one of the easiest classes that I have ever taken, including those I took in High School), I cheerfully showed some of the people in class the book I was reading while we were all waiting for the professor to run in late. I noticed, as I explained the all-too obvious subject of the book, that everyone else in the classroom had grown suddenly very very silent. So... Awkward.

The title alo...more So while waiting for my final in Ancient Rhetoric to begin earlier today (which is, despite the name, bar none one of the easiest classes that I have ever taken, including those I took in High School), I cheerfully showed some of the people in class the book I was reading while we were all waiting for the professor to run in late. I noticed, as I explained the all-too obvious subject of the book, that everyone else in the classroom had grown suddenly very very silent. So... Awkward.

The title alone goes along with other similarly eye-catching titles, such as "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac," or "John Dies at the End." It's a conversation starter, if anything - and although Derf was not exactly Dahmer's confidant (arguably, that grand reward goes to a sociopath known simply as Figgs), he got about as close to a damaged human being as you can get without it blowing up on him.

The promise on the book's inner left dust cover, that you may think that you know the full story when you don't, seems to be true, as Derf went through what was obviously extensive research, while at the same time making it more than a dry piece of profiling, all in an effort to show a murderer in a light that I have not seen before - from the point of view of an oblivious "friend" who is light years away from understanding the pain and loneliness that only someone as mentally and physically isolated as Jeffrey Dahmer could be.

I loved the art style - something that I referred to as being fitting for writing in the POV of a teenager in. Sweaty, irregular and oftentimes cartoonish, it brings an absurdist bent to the piece, adding fuel to the idea that High School was and will always be a time of ignorance and oddness. A realistic art style would have take away from the piece - as it stands, the bluntness with which the story was handled is properly told with the use of the drawing as well as the narrative.

I also appreciate the care in which Derf used his and his friends' recollections of living around the mass murderer as well as the hard research that Derf used to flavor the comic - from actual statistics on the student populations in high schools in America at the time to the assertion that it is just a grotesque myth that Dahmer was ever sexually abused as a child, I feel as though I now have a better picture of just who and want Dahmer was like in his most formative of years.

Following the main story, Derf carefully cites all of the sources for the information used in the book, going from interviews with Dahmer while he was alive to exactly who told him what pieces of information. Included in the lists of sources are macabre pieces of information, such as the the most accurate look at Dahmer's family that can be found (minus the inclusion of any information on his younger brother) and the fate of Dahmer, following High School.

Well-researched as well as well-made, Derf gets his audience as close as he was to his one-time friend and tries his best to give us an even closer look than he had at the personal life of an infamous American murderer.

A must-read for people interested in the pure rubber-necked curiosity of learning about serial killers, this book offers up something different to the table - at times pitying as it is disturbing, we see that even someone as broken and twisted as Jeffrey Dahmer is not a "monster," but rather someone who, coupled with crippling mental disorders, was left to come apart at the seams until he did the unthinkable.(less)

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Apr 15, 2013 Justin Bauer rated it 5 of 5 stars

Having gone to high school with Jeffrey Dahmer, Derf Backderf tells a story of adolescence in the 1970′s that leads right up to Dahmer’s first murder. The story focuses on the high school experience and the strange outcast that brought Derf and his group of friends the occasional comic relief and concern. My Friend Dahmer is a graphic novel that is not so much a bloodbath as it is a prelude to the horrors that would surface in adulthood. It explores the mind of a teenager who simply shook hands...more

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Apr 07, 2013 Helen rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: booktalks, hub-challenge

Serial killers are people, too. Derf Backderf relates a snapshot of his experience going to high school with Jeffrey Dahmer, before he became a ruthless serial killer. Backderf and his friends were friendly with Dahmer, whose antics in high school entertained them, but there was always something disturbing about him. Backderf's research into Dahmer's past reveals a young man haunted by impulses who abused alcohol and whose parents were too involved in their own problems to notice what was happen...more

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Apr 01, 2013 M Hunt rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: adult

A fascinating look at the life of a serial killer before he became a killer. Derf Backderf was a classmate(based on his own depiction, the word 'friend' used in the title seems strong) of Jeffrey Dahmer's in the seventies, through their middle and high school years. He tells their shared history journalistically, layering his own recollections of the period over the facts of Dahmer's life as revealed later, in FBI and press interviews. At the time, Backderf could not know that Dahmer lived in em...more A fascinating look at the life of a serial killer before he became a killer. Derf Backderf was a classmate(based on his own depiction, the word 'friend' used in the title seems strong) of Jeffrey Dahmer's in the seventies, through their middle and high school years. He tells their shared history journalistically, layering his own recollections of the period over the facts of Dahmer's life as revealed later, in FBI and press interviews. At the time, Backderf could not know that Dahmer lived in emotional isolation - his father absent and his mother mentally ill, or that he had disturbing fantasies of necrophilia and a penchant for dismembering small animals.

Backderf did know Dahmer as a social outcast who gained a marginal level of acceptance by putting on an amusing 'spaz' routine. He didn't know Dahmer was imitating his mother's drug-induced fits. Backderf and friends used their positions on the school yearbook to make Dahmer the school 'mascot.' They snuck him into photos of clubs to which he did not belong, included his image in school posters and flyers. Eventually, they organized a trip to the mall, paying Dahmer to execute the 'spaz' routine in public among strangers, just to see what happened. Dahmer went along with it, bucking up beforehand with a frightening demonstration of his ability to down a six-pack of beer in ten minutes. After the performance, Dahmer was returned home while the others went off together for the rest of the evening. There's a fine line between being a mascot and a punchline. If Backderf understood this, it wasn't clear in the narrative.

It's not exactly unusual for kids to manipulate those who allow themselves to be manipulated. Most of the manipulated learn from the experience and don't let it happen again - they don't turn into murderers. Backderf says his attitude toward Dahmer wasn't mean-spirited, that he found Dahmer genuinely amusing and I believe him. Perhaps thoughtless is a more apt description for Backderf's behavior. He wasn't trying to hurt Dahmer, he just wasn't thinking about it - par for the adolescent course. What I'd like to know is, how does it feel to have pulled the same adolescent shit a million kids have pulled on a million more kids, but the kid you pulled it on turns into a brutal killer? Seems like that could mess with your head a bit.

Backderf didn't go there, and in a way I don't blame him. Dissecting the evolution of a tragedy tends to prompt the question, "Who is to blame?" Backderf states in the narrative that he's been asked why he didn't get Dahmer help, and he himself wonders in the text, "Where were the damn adults?" Neither question seems useful to me. Plenty of kids have toxic parents, plenty deal with social isolation, most don't kill people. Some forces of nature are tragic and can't be stopped. I'm more interested in how we respond. How do those forces affect us and change our behavior for good or for ill? Backderf responded by writing this book and it's excellent, I just wish it went a little further.(less)

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Mar 19, 2013 Katya Vinogradova rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: creepy, graphic-novel, grim, high-school, it-s-a-sad-life, memoir, crime

We've all had a "friend" like Dahmer. That creepy lonely kid who wanted to fit in, but did everything wrong and was always an outcast. In high school you either ignored this kid, made fun of him, or bullied him. And if you stopped to wonder, what would happen to this kid later in life, you would probably envision a grim future for him.
Dahmer's future became extremely grim. He became the most atrocious serial killer since Jack the Ripper, "the real Hannibal Lecter".
The author of this book is try...more

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Mar 18, 2013 Lauren rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: crime, graphic-novel, memoir

This is an interesting and at times chilling account of Jeffrey Dahmer's teenaged years--alternately painfully isolated and jeeringly included, he struggled to connect and surround himself with people in order to stave off what he knew was a dearth of empathy and an excess of disturbing sexual fantasies. Backderf is successful at evoking Dahmer as a "weird" figure that you wouldn't, particularly, want around while still noting how this lack of socialization furthered his strangeness and worsened...more

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Mar 16, 2013 April Helms rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction, nonfiction-crime, northeast-ohio, young-adult, graphic-novel

I had heard about this book, and decided to give it a try when I saw that it was one of the books which won this year's Alex Award. For those who don't know about Jeffrey Dahmer, he was arrested and found guilty in connection of the murders of 17 men and boys. He grew up - as did the author - in a community about a half hour from where I live. Indeed, Backderf, who has done editorial cartooning, comic strips and a previous graphic novel and lives in the Cleveland area, was in the same graduating...more

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Mar 11, 2013 Annie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Absolutely fascinating. This memoir takes celebrated cartoonist Derf Backderf back to his high school years and his teenage friendship with the serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer up until the point where Dahmer kills for the first time--just two weeks after graduation.

This memoir is unflinching (an overused adjective, but absolutely fitting in this case). Dahmer clearly had intense issues during his adolescent and teenage years. They were bare and on the surface, and Derf and all of his friends saw f...more

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Mar 08, 2013 Fizzgig76 rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: graphic-novels-and-trade-paperbacks

In mid-1970s, in Bath, Ohio, just outside of Toledo, a monster was growing in Revere High School. John Backderf and his friends didn’t know that the guy they had formed a club around would plotting a murder and dismemberment. The Jeffrey Dahmer Club celebrated and circled around the weird, strange man. As Dahmer slipped deeper and deeper into his problems, the Jeffrey Dahmer Club found him more and more entertaining. After Dahmer became a serial killer, John Backderf looks back into the Jeffrey...more In mid-1970s, in Bath, Ohio, just outside of Toledo, a monster was growing in Revere High School. John Backderf and his friends didn’t know that the guy they had formed a club around would plotting a murder and dismemberment. The Jeffrey Dahmer Club celebrated and circled around the weird, strange man. As Dahmer slipped deeper and deeper into his problems, the Jeffrey Dahmer Club found him more and more entertaining. After Dahmer became a serial killer, John Backderf looks back into the Jeffrey Dahmer he knew and how it relates to the monster he became.

John Backderf is a writer and illustrator who writes under the name Derf and Derf Backderf. My Friend Dahmer is published under Derf Backderf and released in March 2012 after being published as a large comic in 2002. The comic was nominated for an Eisner Award and turned into a one-act play.

The book is an interesting attempt of a guy trying to make sense of his past. The group treated Dahmer as a mascot and an outcast. As portrayed by the book, he was never really party of the group, but they enjoyed playing with him. There is obvious questions of if anything could have been done to stop or prevent the monster Dahmer became, and I’m sure the book also makes Backderf question if he had any part in Jeffrey’s transformation.

Jeffrey Dahmer is an interesting character. He was already an alcoholic in high school, and there were obvious signs of problems, but no one seemed to do anything. He wandered through life just on the edge of cracking and the closest he could get to acceptance was a group of kids who were mocking and teasing him at the same time. Backderf’s account of how the group paid Dahmer to take his weirdness to the mall shows how Dahmer was willing to do anything for acceptance. Backderf reveals it was at this time that his mind started to sour to the idea of Dahmer and their games. Once college came Dahmer was tossed off and forgotten, until he was revealed as a serial killer in 1991.

Derf’s art style is a strange combination of Harry Crumb and Mad Magazine style. It is very expressive but very simple at the same time. It is also interesting where Backderf includes art that he made in high school of Dahmer…It helps really verify the reality of what he is saying and how Dahmer was part of his life.

My Friend Dahmer is a bit of misnomer…It doesn’t really feel like a friendship. The book however is an interesting look at a very disturbed person from the people who possibly knew him the best. Backderf does include a nice glossary where he shows how he researched the events and used it to give “behind-the-scenes” moments into Dahmer’s life. It is disturbing, but not bad enough that you can’t read it…it is more sad and shows how a monster can be formed.(less)

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Feb 28, 2013 Lexie Robinson Austin rated it 4 of 5 stars

Oof. This book is rough. I didn't expect it to be a walk in the park, and I'm okay reading dark stuff. But this....this just makes you uncomfortable. Which I suppose the author meant to happen.

Summary: "You only think you know this story. In 1991, Jeffrey Dahmer—the most notorious serial killer since Jack the Ripper—seared himself into the American consciousness. To the public, Dahmer was a monster who committed unthinkable atrocities. To Derf Backderf, "Jeff" was a much more complex figure: a h...more Oof. This book is rough. I didn't expect it to be a walk in the park, and I'm okay reading dark stuff. But this....this just makes you uncomfortable. Which I suppose the author meant to happen.

Summary: "You only think you know this story. In 1991, Jeffrey Dahmer—the most notorious serial killer since Jack the Ripper—seared himself into the American consciousness. To the public, Dahmer was a monster who committed unthinkable atrocities. To Derf Backderf, "Jeff" was a much more complex figure: a high school friend with whom he had shared classrooms, hallways, and car rides. In My Friend Dahmer, a haunting and original graphic novel, writer-artist Backderf creates a surprisingly sympathetic portrait of a disturbed young man struggling against the morbid urges emanating from the deep recesses of his psyche—a shy kid, a teenage alcoholic, and a goofball who never quite fit in with his classmates. With profound insight, what emerges is a Jeffrey Dahmer that few ever really knew, and one readers will never forget."

This book is the story of Derf Backderf's high school experience with Jeffrey Dahmer. However, in reading this book, I had multiple flashbacks to my own high school experience. What ever happened to that one kid we teased mercilessly? Why were we so cruel? Were kids showing up drunk or high at my High School, and I was too naive to notice? (Answer: Probably, yes.)

The characters are superb. The research that went into preparing the manuscript is impeccable. Aside from using his own recollections, Backderf went into countless hours of investigation about what made Jeffrey Dahmer snap. All of the research he put into this book is listed in the back with source citations.

The only thing I didn't like about it was Backderf's note in the Forward and a few other moments in the manuscript when Backderf was a little self aggrandizing. Backderf seems to think that he has created a masterpiece and he's placing it at your feet to enjoy. Well, yes, it is an exceptionally well crafted piece of literature. But don't tell me that before I read it! It just bugged me.

Also, the contradiction of the whole piece bothers me. Backderf kept asking "where are the adults to prevent this tragedy?" as if they could clearly see the signs of Dahmer as a serial killer. But at the same time the book also repeatedly indicated that there was no clear sign that he would become a serial killer. It's as if Backderf was looking for someone (besides Dahmer) to blame for the way he turned out. He couldn't find just one culprit, so he spread the blame out across the entire community. But really? At the end of the day? Only Dahmer was responsible for his actions.

Aside from that, this is an incredibly well researched and crafted piece of literature describing the early life of Jeffrey Dahmer. That Backderf was able to portray this via graphic novel format is an even greater accomplishment.

If you have any interest in the dark side of human nature, graphic novels, or the Jeffrey Dahmer story, go ahead and pick this up. If not, probably stay away. (less)

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Feb 17, 2013 Karin rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: borrowed-from-the-library, graphic-novel, nonfiction, serial-killers, biography, autobiography-memoir, high-school, friendship, young-adult-nonfiction, adult-ya-crossovers, teenage-criminals, teenagers

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Derf Backderf went to school with notorious serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer, and knew him in a way that most people – the ones who became familiar with him after he was caught – didn’t. Dahmer was basically invisible in junior high, but became known for his funny imitations of his mother (who was mentally ill) and her interior decorator (who had ticks and a speech impediment). Derf and his friends even had a Dahmer fan club for awhile. Dahmer had an unstable family, was gay (and closeted), abnormal...more Derf Backderf went to school with notorious serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer, and knew him in a way that most people – the ones who became familiar with him after he was caught – didn’t. Dahmer was basically invisible in junior high, but became known for his funny imitations of his mother (who was mentally ill) and her interior decorator (who had ticks and a speech impediment). Derf and his friends even had a Dahmer fan club for awhile. Dahmer had an unstable family, was gay (and closeted), abnormal sexual fantasies, and his insecurities and dark thoughts eventually got the best of him. He started withdrawing from everyone during his junior year in high school, and basically kept his demons at bay by drinking heavily. Other kids seemed to know that there was something going on with him (and tended to avoid him), but the adults in Dahmer’s life were oblivious – his parents were too wrapped up in their own problems, and teachers just thought Dahmer was quiet and didn’t apply himself to his studies. Derf himself had a moment where he realized that Dahmer wasn’t just socially awkward – he was downright creepy – and after that he avoided spending time with him outside of school. After graduation, when Dahmer found himself alone with no future plans or prospects, he made his first kill.

Derf doesn’t excuse Dahmer for the atrocities he committed and the lives he took, but he does show that Dahmer was troubled, misunderstood, and that he fell through the cracks of society. It’s possible that with some kind of help or intervention, Dahmer could have had a very different life. That he had the one that he did is sad for him and for his victims and their loved ones. This is an interesting memoir of Dahmer told from a unique point of view. Derf has obviously spent a lot of time thinking about his classmate and researching the events that took place. It’s both insightful and disturbing – humanizing Dahmer and his problems, but at the same time presenting a chilling picture of the monster he was becoming. Scary to think that there may be others among us who are equally disturbed.(less)

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Feb 09, 2013 Annalee Schnebele rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: adult-with-teen-potential, graphic-novels, human-nature, yalsa-reading-challenge-2013

This was okay. It was difficult to read how Derf and his friends basically reduced Dahmer to a caricature for their own amusement. No one deserves to be treated that way, and Derf realizes that and does mention that he feels some remorse for how he acted in high school. Other times, it feels like Derf was making sure that he told us over and over again how he tried to distance himself from Dahmer and all the times he realized that something was a bit off about Dahmer.

This is a graphic novel to r...more

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Feb 07, 2013 Nic rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: graphic-novel, biography, bestseller, nonfiction, psychological

This is a book (graphic novel technically) that I didn't plan on reading. When my mom brought it home from the library, my initial impression of it was based soley on the cover and title. I tend to have a fascination for things that most would consider morbid (not in a way that I glorify those things but just tend to find them very interesting) but I thought this might be a little much even for me. I changed my mind very quickly after thumbing through it. Once I started reading, I couldn't put i...more This is a book (graphic novel technically) that I didn't plan on reading. When my mom brought it home from the library, my initial impression of it was based soley on the cover and title. I tend to have a fascination for things that most would consider morbid (not in a way that I glorify those things but just tend to find them very interesting) but I thought this might be a little much even for me. I changed my mind very quickly after thumbing through it. Once I started reading, I couldn't put it down. It wasn't morbid in the way I thought it would be. I think it was a natural assumption that there would be very graphic images. There were some but they were pretty mild and even though I have a somewhat of a tolerance I think most people would agree with me. Backderf really focuses on the psychological dark side to Dahmer's story. It sparked a lot of complex, strong feelings in me so I waited a while after reading it to post this just so I could be sure that I could have time to really sit down and hash out my opinion about it.

My Friend Dahmer is a very socially significant work especially in light of the recent event of the Newtown shooting. While I'm 100% for better gun control, I think another important aspect of the issue is the relationship between mental illness and extreme violence. It's gotten some attention, but if the past is anything to go by it won't be nearly enough to cause real change in how we approach mental health in this country. Above all else, I think my favorite thing about this book is that it forces the reader to think about more about this issue.

Okay, I'm off my soap box now and on to talking about the actual work. I mentioned earlier that it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that Dahmer's story was made into a graphic novel simply to show the horrific images we've come to associate with him. The next most common mistake is probably thinking this is some sort of justification for Dahmer's actions later in life. The story mostly covers his high school years from the POV of one his loosely termed friends, the author. Although Backderf uses a lot of information from interviews for Dahmer's solo scenes, the story is always feels colored by his personal experience -- his personal opinion, really -- of Dahmer.

I feel like the main message of this work can be summed up in this one quote:

...could Dahmer have been saved? Or his victims spared their grisly fate? I'm not saying he would have had a normal life or even a happy one. If just one adult had stepped up and said 'Whoa, this kid needs help'...He probably would have spent the rest of his days doped up on antidepressants and living in his dad's spare room. A sad, lonely life that Dahmer would have gladly accepted over the hellish future that awaited him.

Backderf is very successful in getting the reader to find true sympathy for Dahmer in a way that doesn't at all excuse the terrible things he did. Dahmer was sick and there were several factors in his adolescent life that likely exacerbated his symptoms. And while Backderf does seem to want to assign most of the blame to the adults in their lives, he is very honest about his own role in Dahmer's life. His narration is poignant yet straightforward and was one of my favorite things in reading this.

After reading it my mom talked about how it really captures what being a teenager in the 70s was like. How adults weren't half as responsible as they should be. In her experience, teachers really did brag about getting high and seemed to want to be seen as cool. It was well known by both staff and students that one of the theater teachers was sleeping with the male students. We may not be where we want to be with education in this country, but at least you couldn't walk into most classrooms these days falling over drunk (as Dahmer does in the book) and not have anyone even try to do anything about it.

This is my first experience with these new wave of graphic novels that deal with real issues and even nonfiction. I'm interested to read more like these. I haven't read all that many comics but have always thought it was a great medium for storytelling. I like the idea that it's expanding from just fantasy and superheroes.

It really amazes me how profound of an emotional reaction I can have to what essentially is a very simple work. I often make the disclaimer that I'm not all that fast a reader but I read this in maybe an hour and a half. I've spent more time actually writing this review and far more digesting it than reading it. This is a long review and I'm purposely cutting it short because I could go on and on. And that's the mark of something truly thought provoking and worth reading.(less)

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Feb 03, 2013 Abby rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: comix, biography, crime

A portrait of the serial killer as a young man. The author went to high school with Jeffrey Dahmer and was somewhat friendly with him; I don't know that I would consider their relationship an actual friendship. It's a very fast read and the illustrations are strong. Despite the dark subject matter, there isn't much violence depicted in the book -- at least not inflicted on humans. There are definitely lots of drawings of dead animals, so if that makes you squeamish, do not read this book.

My mai...more

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Feb 02, 2013 A. V. rated it 1 of 5 stars

While reading the preface I was struck, quite negatively, by this line urging readers' to "Pity [Dahmer], but don't empathize with him." Given the title, this seemed like a rather ironic plea, but I held out hope that this was just an overzealous attempt to assure the world that Backderf was in no way endorsing mass murder, but the novel itself would still be an attempt to draw out some depth of humanity to such a well-known horror story. Alas.

The art is fine. Maybe better than fine, but who kno...more While reading the preface I was struck, quite negatively, by this line urging readers' to "Pity [Dahmer], but don't empathize with him." Given the title, this seemed like a rather ironic plea, but I held out hope that this was just an overzealous attempt to assure the world that Backderf was in no way endorsing mass murder, but the novel itself would still be an attempt to draw out some depth of humanity to such a well-known horror story. Alas.

The art is fine. Maybe better than fine, but who knows with such massive twin albatrosses of mediocre writing and leaden insight which contribute nothing to a narrative of predictable tropes and "revelations." Did you know Dahmer was a bit weird in high school? That's basically the entire 200 pages. Forget pity or empathy. This book is so banal, so trite, I felt not revulsion, horror, fear, or sadness. I was left feeling indifferent and bored as the story contained nothing aside from the brave and nuanced stance that serial killing is, in fact, bad and serial killers, are indeed, disturbed. Is it risky to insist we all know that already?

Instead, what was more infuriating is this is essentially a tale of some nondescript dudes who are amused by a peer's offbeat behavior in high school. Bizarre, I know. But this friendship (if you can call it that, and I wouldn't if you're concerned with accuracy) is a purely superficial distraction infusing the story with absolutely nothing of substance.

If the POV of Backderf's graphic novel is any indication he still has no self-awareness of his own behavior as a milquetoast douchebag after all these years--or if I'm being generous, is unable to translate that dimension onto pages that sorely need something to make them even a modicum more interesting.

And as if all of this weren't enough, nearly every fourth word is in BOLD. You know, for EMPHASIS. Just in case the hackneyed writing didn't make the points remedial enough.

Probably the most pointless book I've read all the way through. A morality tale for 10-year olds.

Please someone assemble all the people that put this on their "Best Of 2012" lists. I need answers!

*edited to add: I do think there is potential in an examination like this, but it's a task for someone believably invested in the human experience, which Backderf, clearly, is not.(less)

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Jan 04, 2013 Michelle rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: graphic-novel, addiction, abuse, book, coming-of-age, heart-wrenching, memoir, mental-health, misguided-youth

I'm in awe of this graphic novel. I admit, I didn't know much about Jeffery Dahmer before I read this. I graduated high school in '91, so when the story hit, I paid enough attention to the news to get a lot of misinformation. Hell, I didn't even know how he really died, apparently a mop had nothing to do with it (this isn't a spoiler, it is simply fact).

I'm that weird kind of person (at least weird by most people that I associate with standards) that looks at the criminal first when I hear of a...more I'm in awe of this graphic novel. I admit, I didn't know much about Jeffery Dahmer before I read this. I graduated high school in '91, so when the story hit, I paid enough attention to the news to get a lot of misinformation. Hell, I didn't even know how he really died, apparently a mop had nothing to do with it (this isn't a spoiler, it is simply fact).

I'm that weird kind of person (at least weird by most people that I associate with standards) that looks at the criminal first when I hear of a crime. I don't know why, I do this, but I'm compelled to know as much about the criminal as possible. I have to know how we as a society failed this person so much that they turned to drastic measures to relieve their pain. I was shocked to find another person who looked at things the way I did. DerfBackderf is that kind of writer. He knew one of the most infamous serial killers of modern time. He knew him and was "friends" with him during the most turbulent time of all of our lives, high school. If ever you thought you had it rough, you should take a peak into Dahmer's adolescents.

As far as graphic novels go, it's not the best illustrated by far. It's comic book without the flair I'm used to (keep in mind I'm a HUGE Gaiman fan). BUT the story is so engaging, that it doesn't matter. I even liked the style. It's as if I were reading a friend's sketches and not reading printed book. It made the story feel more intimate. And did I mention that the story is engaging?!

The best part of the book is when you think the story is over. The notes are just incredible. I don't think I have devoured Notes from any book, EVER, the way I devoured the Notes in My Friend Dahmer. Then I was gifted with the Epilogue. It truly was a gift. I felt after reading the epilogue that I knew more and I could honestly say I left the book with knowledge of who a teenage Jeffery Dahmer was (at least as much knowledge as his "friends" had). Finally I had the Players section left which included an incredible essay on Dahmer...and a final cartoon to remind me that I had just finished a graphic novel and not a case study on a serial killer.

The author and his friends were just average guys, not superstars of the high school, just average guys who happened to have had a friendship with Jeffery Dahmer. I like the way the story was told. I like that Dahmer wasn't villainized . Was he cast as an outcast and a strange guy? Yeah, but I'm left believing he was that outcast and strange guy. I also have to agree with the author when he said, "What a waste." Given what was written, I truly believe that somewhere along the line this guy could have been saved....and I'm not giving the "it was the 70's" thing the excuse not to notice a teenager spinning out of control. Every single adult in this man's life failed him when he needed them most. Just imagine what he could have given to the world instead of taken if someone, anyone had have taken an interest in him and saved him first. This does not dismiss his crimes or the pain he caused others. I'm just saying, that maybe too many times we let too many people slip through the cracks, and maybe that is how we end up with killers of innocent people. (less)

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Dec 31, 2012 Hannah Messler rated it 5 of 5 stars

Yikes, this book is super good.

I saw this over the summer for the first time, on a table at Bergen Street, I think. It held zero interest for me, with its Mad-style art, and its premise of (I assumed) sensationalist cashing-in on Having Known Someone We've Heard Of. And then I kept seeing it, and the art began to look less derivative and more genuinely odd, the premise to seem potentially less sensation and more personal, and then finally the other day I was feeding cats in Park Slope and stopp...more Yikes, this book is super good.

I saw this over the summer for the first time, on a table at Bergen Street, I think. It held zero interest for me, with its Mad-style art, and its premise of (I assumed) sensationalist cashing-in on Having Known Someone We've Heard Of. And then I kept seeing it, and the art began to look less derivative and more genuinely odd, the premise to seem potentially less sensation and more personal, and then finally the other day I was feeding cats in Park Slope and stopped in to Galaxy to look for Marbles, which they didn't have, and so I just grabbed a copy of this, because what is worse than having finished your book while in the middle of errands. NOTHING.

It begins with a little informational prologue--I had not known that Jeffrey Dahmer was murdered in prison, or even that he was dead, really--/disclaimer, in which Backderf expresses his hesitation in even telling this story, for fear he'll appear as an advocate for Dahmer--which, in some ways, he isn't totally not: you tell the story of a nightmare's infancy, you're kind of saying, "This nightmare has a place in the world of reason; I *understand* this nightmare." But once Dahmer commits that first murder, Backderf says, his sympathies for him end. Dahmer should have put a bullet in his head right then; it was cowardice not to have done so.

It's smart that he makes that point at the outset, because once the narrative begins, he is no kind of hardass--Derf Backderf reads like one of those rare guys it's virtually impossible to find fault with--a Mark Toneff type. I mean who knows what this guy's like in real life, but his comic persona is easygoing, creative, prone to teasing, curious about the world, and generally good--the way he draws the teens' faces is pretty great, too. His line is heavy and serious, carrying fully the plumb weight of bodies and flesh, rich and strange. It also bends wackadoo with little effort--hands and chins tilt like broken toys, jaws drop, conversations born at right-angles, his angles in general weird and a little acid-y. And then finally to polish those two excellent knobs are the eyes he gives everyone, serious and bagged, shifty and glancing, disappeared, mirrored, shaded. He's drawing real people because he's telling a real story.

And the story is compelling and satisfying and upsetting, start to finish. It is, I think, brilliant.

When I was little, we watched The Princess Bride at my dad's house--me, my dad, my stepmom, my little brother. When the Rodents of Unusual Size part came on, and the heroes leave one writhing to death in flames, it was discovered that I had disappeared from the couch and was located weeping behind it--to everyone's bewilderment. "They were giant RATS, Hannah!" "They would have killed Westley and Buttercup!" But ugh, I couldn't take it. Poor rats. What did they know but the lives they'd lived? All they wanted was to survive, and maybe find a little comfort.

Which I think are the kid gloves Backderf has to manage in telling this tale--Dahmer was disgusting. I didn't realize how disgusting until I Wikipedia'd midway through this book but HOLY. SHIT. He was holy shit disgusting. Evil. So deranged as to be not a human person. Ugh ugh ugh. But what did he know but the life he'd led. What did he want but to survive, and maybe find a little comfort.

Backderf's tough-nut "he should have put a bullet in his head" conclusions, after carefully sharing every possible sadness, loneliness, and twistedness of Dahmer's life that he could come up with, is what saves this from being either apology or sensationalist cash-in. These giant rats have to go down in flames. They just have to. And it fucking sucks and is wildly sad and goes against the most ingrained of all our human habits of mind--that the sun will continue to rise, that at the end of the dark night there always lies a new day. But there's nothing here for them, for these rats. There's no comfort to be had, and they can't survive.

(less)

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Dec 29, 2012 Emily rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012

I had a hold on this book at the library for so long that I forget what made me add it to my list. Probably some round-up of the best graphic novels.

I expected it to be grisly, to be read through your hands over your face, but it isn't. It only treats Dahmer's life in junior high and high school, up to his first murder, as seen through the eyes of a classmate. Backderf wasn't exactly friends with Dahmer, but they hung out a lot. His crowd is fascinated and amused by Dahmer, who plays up a freak...more

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Dec 27, 2012 Molly Jarke rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book intrigued me on many levels. I've always been interested in the minds of serial killers; something about Dahmer pulled me more so than others. My brother found it while combing the shelves of graphic novels for his interests and he felt he had to get it for me.

I feel sorry for who Jeffrey Dahmer was in school. Yes, in school. Once he kills, he loses my pity. The book shows how rough his adolescent and teen years were both at school and home. It doesn't excuse what he became but it give...more

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Dec 10, 2012 Ryan Anderson rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: goodreads-13-25

My Friend Dahmer is a graphic novel that depicts the life of Dahmer as he grows up in High School and the years that lead up to his terrible life as a Serial Killer. The story is told from the perspective of a friend of Dahmer's (also the author and artist for the story) as he talks about how strange Dahmer was and reflects on how he now realized that he could have helped Dahmer if he just stepped up. The story evolves from Dahmer starting as an angry boy, and beginning to grow up in to the seri...more

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Dec 04, 2012 Penelope rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: graphic-novels

This book is intense. It's also terrifying, despite not being very [visually] graphic or violent at all. A lot of Backderf's narrative is centered around showing how "normal" Dahmer appeared to other people (or maybe rather, the fact that he was completely off the radar of most people), but also how this coincided with the many warnings signs and bizarre behavior he exhibited.

Backderf's drawings are great. They remind me a lot of Crumb's style (I think it's the way he draws arms and butts...for...more

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Nov 23, 2012 Chris Kervina rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: graphic-novel, memoir, ya-books

Honestly, I wasn't sure about this book. But, I saw Backderf on a panel at ALAN 2012, and I was fascinated by the use of graphic novel as memoir.

Backderf's visual narrative tells the story of notorious serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer, who Backderf knew as a teen. The memoir painstakingly synthesizes information from Dahmer's FBI interviews, published memoirs and televised interviews with Dahmer's mother and father, news accounts, visits to the former Dahmer family home, interviews with classmates,...more

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Nov 23, 2012 Barbara rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: animals, abusive-relationships, alcohol, bullies, families, friendship, graphic-novels, school, teachers

Serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer might not seem to be the expected subject for a graphic novel. After all, he was arrested in 1991 for killing 17 young men or boys. But somehow, the graphic novel format works for this story, providing an insider's view into the boyhood and adolescence of an almost unfathomable individual whose demons would prompt him to kill and kill again. The author/illustrator attended the same Richfield, Ohio, middle school and high school as Dahmer, giving him and his friends a...more Serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer might not seem to be the expected subject for a graphic novel. After all, he was arrested in 1991 for killing 17 young men or boys. But somehow, the graphic novel format works for this story, providing an insider's view into the boyhood and adolescence of an almost unfathomable individual whose demons would prompt him to kill and kill again. The author/illustrator attended the same Richfield, Ohio, middle school and high school as Dahmer, giving him and his friends a ringside seat to Dahmer's strange ways. He points the finger of blame at Dahmer's teachers, none of whom can remember much about him, and his parents, his father for being mostly absent, and his mother for being emotionally unavailable and self-absorbed. At several points in the story, it seems as though some adult would have noticed his heavy drinking throughout the school day, a move Backderf insists was intended to self-medicate as Dahmer became increasingly haunted by his sexual desires and fantasies. As expected, there are scenes showing Dahmer being picked on by classmates, and even brief stints of dubious popularity when a small group of friends started the Dahmer Fan Club, dedicated to celebrating Dahmer's impressions of someone in the throes of an epileptic fit or making bleating noises at the most inopportune moments. Looking back on those years allows the author (and his readers) to wonder about why no one was concerned with his fascination with roadkill or killing small animals, and how such horrors (both in his own home and in his mind) could exist alongside such a buccolic suburban existence. It also affords him the chance to shoulder some of the blame, to wonder if Jeffrey could have been saved at one point, and to describe points at which he himself instinctively knew that something was very wrong. When Dahmer commits his first murder, he barely escapes being caught, and, chillingly, one of his friends visits him while the body is still on the property.

Although I still don't know what motivated Dahmer to go to the lengths he did, this graphic novel provides as much insight as could be hoped into his psyche and into the times in which he grew up. While it's impossible to empathize with him, the book certainly evokes pity for such a lonely, isolated boy. One of the most powerful portions of the book centers around one dog that he lures into the woods with a hotdog, only to set it free instead of killing it. I had to wonder what prompted that particular act of kindness when he resisted kindness toward others. Chilling, haunting, and memorable, the book also contains backmatter listing its sources.(less)

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Nov 09, 2012 MissAnnThrope rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2012, comics, graphic-novel, library-book, memoir, serial-killers

I have a fascination with the serial killer mind and have read a few books on the subject, so I thought this might be an interesting read, especially combined with the graphic novel medium. I found this extremely disturbing but not in the way you might think.

It feels as if the author, a supposed "friend" of Jeffrey Dahmer, is capitalizing on that thing he calls friendship. Backderf puts the blame on the adults in Dahmer's life, but I believe he isn't entirely innocent in Dahmer's suffering. He m...more

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Nov 05, 2012 James Renner rated it 5 of 5 stars

The artist mostly known as “Derf” was a bit of a mystery during my tenure at the Cleveland Scene and Free Times. He was the guy behind the coolest comic strip in the paper, The City, which ripped on Cleveland every week but also seemed to celebrate its crazy residents at the same time. I would occasionally see him at company parties, quietly watching from the back, this tall dude with a long face who usually seemed pissed at something.

There was this rumor he’d been friends with the serial killer...more The artist mostly known as “Derf” was a bit of a mystery during my tenure at the Cleveland Scene and Free Times. He was the guy behind the coolest comic strip in the paper, The City, which ripped on Cleveland every week but also seemed to celebrate its crazy residents at the same time. I would occasionally see him at company parties, quietly watching from the back, this tall dude with a long face who usually seemed pissed at something.

There was this rumor he’d been friends with the serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer in high school. I’d never doubted it. But I was a little surprised when he dared to turn his artist’s eye to that part of his life. It would be tempting for any storyteller, sure, but in order to go there you have to show Dahmer as a sympathetic character. Because he was, after all, human. And a friend to some people. And would readers really want to go there?

Earlier this year, Derf finally got around to telling his story in My Friend Dahmer, a thick, gorgeous graphic novel that presents the cannibal killer as a tragic character, someone who might been saved even, if only one fucking adult had bothered to wonder why Jeffrey was acting so strangely and had cared enough to get him some help. Dahmer did not go quietly into full-on sociopathic insanity. The signs were there — animal mutilations, binge drinking at 15, a shocking lack of empathy for fellow human beings — and they were hard to miss. It’s like watching Anakin turn into Darth Vader, only slowly and with no definable event to motivate the fall.

The book covers Dahmer and Derf’s last years of high school in bucolic Bath, Ohio, one of the safest neighborhoods in the state. And by the end of the summer following their senior year, both have discovered their passion — Derf has become a fledgling artist, Dahmer a practicing psychopath and murderer. Drawn in high-def contrast, with his slightly-grotesque portrayal of the human form, this book serves as the universal countering force of Dahmer’s own dark obsession. The art’s creation only made possible as a result of the acts it chronicles and the effect it had on the artist.

In summation: way cool.(less)

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Oct 26, 2012 Stacy rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-read-in-2012, graphic-novels

My local library has a small but interesting and growing collection of graphic novels for adults. Early this evening, while browsing the new titles, I found this story by Derf Backderf, a graphic novelist who attended high school with serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer. Backderf not only includes his own stories, but he interviewed various people that were in Dahmer's life, read all of the interviews the killer granted during his brief stint in prison before being killed, and read the FBI files. My st...more

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2013 Hub Reading ...: My Friend Dahmer	1	5	May 04, 2013 08:05am
Huntsville-Madiso...: Staff Picks: My Friend Dahmer by Derf Backderf	1	5	Feb 28, 2013 02:15pm

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