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They Eat Puppies, Don't They?

3.43  ·  Rating Details ·  1,984 Ratings  ·  323 Reviews
In an attempt to gain congressional approval for a top-secret weapons system, Washington lobbyist "Bird" McIntyre teams up with sexy, outspoken neocon Angel Templeton to pit the American public against the Chinese. When Bird fails to uncover an authentic reason to slander the nation, he and Angel put the Washington media machine to work, spreading a rumor that the Chinese ...more
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Published May 8th 2012 by Twelve (first published January 1st 2012)
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Nov 13, 2011 Melki rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
"Well, as we say around here, an ounce of preemption is worth a pound of enriched uranium."
Angel Templeton, Institute for Continuing Conflict

Buckley's back with his usual gang of idiots - meaning Senators, pundits, and other Washington insiders.

It seems that we as a people are just not fearful enough. At least not fearful enough to fund a predator drone the size of the Spruce Goose. The solution? Whip this country into a frenzied fright and blame it on, oh, let's say...China.

And who do you call
Mal Warwick
May 19, 2012 Mal Warwick rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: trade-fiction
Washington and Beijing Get What They Deserve in This Satirical Novel of Politics and Diplomacy

Put yourself into this picture (as you might if you were reading this book and identifying with its protagonist): Your name is Walter “Bird” McIntyre. You are the leading Washington lobbyist for Groepping-Sprunt, a major arms contractor for the Pentagon. A Senate committee is meeting to consider a huge appropriation for your latest weapons system — an ocean-liner-sized drone aircraft armed with every ma
Jul 23, 2012 Jack rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
As always with Chris Buckley, devilish good fun. Buckley is a master of the Washington baroque political farce - densely plotted, charmingly ridiculous, alarmingly possible. In this hysterical comic thriller, various and sundry are plotting the possible assassination of no less than the Dalai Lama - in order to goose demand for domestic military spending. Once you accept the outrageous premise, which I sorta hope is far-fetched, we are off and racing.

Buckley creates wonderfully believable scenar
Jul 04, 2012 Mark rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: dnf
I've been a fan of Christopher Buckley's earlier work but this one makes me question why. I'm hoping he just ran out of inspiration or mojo. I read more than half of this novel without laughing out loud once. A couple of semi-chuckles, at occasional lines like "Email is the new herpes; you can never get rid of it." Buckley's subject is U.S.-China relations, which should be funny, should be easy pickins for satire, but mostly what we get is Dalai Lama jokes--again, potentially fertile ground but, ...more
Feb 23, 2015 Dave rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Satire? Maybe. Some characters are a little over the top. coincidences seem unlikely, but still possible. This is my first C. Buckley novel, but I saw and enjoyed the movie adaptation of Thank You for Smoking, and this is almost a clone.

Major character #1 is the lobbyist for a defense contractor, not quite believable, but close. Imagine a very talented con man, with situational ethics. Major character #2 is the less believable, but possibly real (I lead a sheltered life) woman, a very intelligen
Jul 10, 2012 Glenn rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I've admired Christopher Buckley's humorous short stories for years, having read a few when I used to subscribe to (and read) The New Yorker. It's been on my list to read one of his novels and I finally got around to that item this past week.

"They Eat Puppies, Don't They" is a brand of comic writing that is quite enjoyable for short bursts and sometimes longer stretches but ultimately, it didn't work for me over the length of several hundred pages. After the clever set up -- another of Buckley'
Jun 12, 2017 Mark rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: satire, politics, comedy
This is funny but I'm starting to see a pattern after reading this and "Thank You for Smoking." Rich neo-con puts his lobbyist money over the good of the country under the guise of making the country more "free." There's probably another neo-con he inevitably falls for. The first neo-con gets to keep lobbying (get it??!?!). It's still funny and "on-point," but I know Buckley has more range - I just hope he doesn't lean into this motif too much.
Martha Bullen
May 11, 2012 Martha Bullen rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: fans of good writing, political satire and humor books
I highly recommend this entertaining, timely novel by top-notch political satirist Christopher Buckley. The book involves a secret plot to stir up American public feeling against China so a defense company can sell more high-tech weapons to the U.S. government - that explains the inflammatory title, "The Eat Puppies, Don't they?"

This plot also involves the fate of the Dalai Lama, bunch of Confederate Civil War re-enactors and a terrifying Ann Coulter-esque figure called Angel Templeton. a war-m
May 02, 2012 Brian rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: fiction, 2012
The clever Mr. Buckley is back with another one of his satiric novels, this one dealing with the hawks in the defense industry and their desire to scapegoat China. But, as often happens with satire, this work descends into mockery at more than one point and it hurts the humorous passages. At one section he seems to forget he's writing a novel and spends several paragraphs explaining a bit of coinage, as if you're reading one of his Daily Beast columns. And when he does elicit emotions in his cha ...more
Jun 01, 2012 Robin rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: books-in-12
This book had some hilarious moments. The novel that Bird is working on, for example, is truly, truly awful. I cannot tell you how much I looked forward to the excerpts. How often do you get a character with a name like Rex "Stud" Something.

I found the parts with the wife (Mitzi) somewhat tiring, and more than a little predictable. In short, I felt the same way at the end of this book that I felt at the end of the original "Total Recall". Which may or may not be a spoiler.

I thought I saw where t
Jan 11, 2016 Sarah rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: pop-sugar-2016, 2016
I've been a fan of Christopher Buckley since college and have now finished almost all his books. They Eat Puppies, Don't They? is both hysterical and the perfect compliment to feeling like you're going crazy with the current situation of American and global politics (although this is sadly rather timeless in that regard as well). Laughed out loud multiple times and made me miss my hometown a bit..
Alan Walder
Feb 04, 2017 Alan Walder rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Still one of the best satirists this nation has to offer.
Dec 24, 2014 David rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was definitely well paced and certainly was fun. The ending was a little tidy, other than some bits of the ending that didn't really seem to fit with much and didn't seem to have much reason for being, but still. It was fun, and of course you have to love the pug on the cover.
Jun 15, 2012 Chelsea rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Very funny book! It was farfetched and hilarious but grounded by reality which is actually a little scary. My only criticism is the ending felt a bit abrupt. This was my first Christopher Buckley Book and I will definitely be reading others when I am in the mood for a laugh.
Oct 28, 2013 Jordan rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book was so freaking funny and kind of scary because it is totally believable. There's not really much I can say about it other than that.
Jun 26, 2012 Mindy rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Highly entertaining and easy to read.
Joe Kraus
Mar 02, 2017 Joe Kraus rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Sometimes literature turns out to have prognostication powers. Don DeLillo’s Mao II is one of the great post 9/11 novels, yet it’s written before the event. And few books made better sense of the dreamy, detached-from-reality mood of the Reagan presidency than Jerzy Kosinski’s Being There, also written before Reagan’s ascent to office.

To a lesser degree, and with less literary merit than those others, Buckley’s novel anticipates our current moment of fake news and the alternative facts crisis. T
Josh Campana Sr.
This book is now a favorite of mine. "They Eat Puppies, Don't They?" Mixed comedy, politics and plausibility perfectly! I don't wanna give away too much but, trying to instigate a conflict with China by planting a story about am assassination attempt on the Dalai Lama had me laughing through much of this book. Well done Christopher Buckley. Well done.
Cindy Leighton
I LOVED his book The Relic Master so was excited to read this- great title and premise. But a little slapsticky for me. Funny, enjoyable, clever- but just not that interesting. I never really got in to the book, but I did keep reading. More like a stand up comedy routine.
Mark Casey
Not Buckley's funniest, but the "military industrial duplex" is a winner.
I don't usually read political satire, but a friend gave me this and it was a quick, lighthearted read. A little scary too since some of it is probably real.
Clay Stafford
This book cracked me up. In honor of the political season, today’s Killer Nashville Book of the Day is “They Eat Puppies, Don’t They?” by Christopher Buckley. “They” refers to the Chinese. It is a satirical look at Washington, D.C. and the fears of some regarding the world domination of China (or Red China, as this book says). All the Washington types are there. Frankly, when I picked up the book, I was expecting it to maybe be a bit one-sided, but it is knee-slapping funny across the entire pol ...more
Feb 18, 2014 David rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
It took me some time to get to this review after finishing the book, partly because I wasn't sure what to say about it. When viewing it as satire, it wasn't as successful as the other Buckley book I've read, the hilarious Boomsday. They Eat Dogs... is funny, and exaggerated, and definitely somewhat satirical. But the I opened the book back to the beginning where, before the actual book begins, Buckley lists "The Players". This inspired me to rethink the entire story as a farce, and it works much ...more
Justin Cox
Parts were hilarious, other parts lost me completely.
D.L. Morrese
A major defense corporation is having trouble getting Congress to approve funding for a weapon system it wants to sell to the military. The corporation’s CEO decides he needs to drum up public support so that the politicians in the finance committee will see funding the thing as a good political move. To get that support, he will need the public to perceive a threat, so he tasks one of his well-paid lobbyists to stir up some ‘anti-China sentiment.’
This book is a farce of international politics,
Mar 05, 2017 Robert rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
An interesting and entertaining read. Though it leaves one relatively unsatisfied at the end, it's a fun way to get to an empty stomach. Hopefully that was C. Buckley's intent.
Jan 12, 2017 Andrew rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-not-owned, 2017
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

They Eat Puppies, Don't They? is a satirical novel about the power of the military-industrial congress, its lead character undertaking a mission to pose as a lobbyist to whip up anti-China sentiment among Americans. In the view of the defense contractors, Americans are far too complacent about the old 'Red Menace': they aren't supporting measures like dandy new blow-`em-up drones, or the mysterious Taurus Program. To do this, their agent -- Bird McIntire -- teams up with an Ann Coulter expy, a w
Feb 18, 2013 Mr rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
It’s not only obvious but unfair to say that Christopher Buckley is no Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. In fact, he’s not even the sublimely weird and funny Christopher Moore. This book-length satire is laborious, obvious and intent on winning nothing more than the brief chuckle. I suspect that novels like this and others of his that didn’t much impress me--like SUPREME COURTSHIP and FLORENCE OF ARABIA (THANK YOU FOR SMOKING produced a good movie, at least!)--will have, in the timescale of Literature, the rel ...more
Oct 10, 2012 John rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Christopher Buckley's latest satire does for defense lobbyists what "Thank you for Smoking" did for tobacco industry lobbyists -- make them look evil but very clever.
The protagonist is Bird McIntyre, a defense industry lobbyist assigned to scare up fears about China so that Congress will be eager to appropriate money for a technology the company he represents just happens to have up its corporate sleeve. To help him, he enlists Angel Templeton, the sexy but mean-spirited head of the Institute fo
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Christopher Buckley graduated cum laude from Yale University in 1976. He shipped out in the Merchant Marine and at age 24 became managing editor of Esquire magazine. At age 29, he became chief speechwriter to the Vice President of the United States, George H.W. Bush. Since 1989 he has been founder and editor-in-chief of Forbes Life magazine.

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