This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart

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This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart

4.34 of 5 stars 4.34 · rating details · 176 ratings · 45 reviews

Part memoir, part creative journal, This I Know chronicles Susannah’s journey through bereavement and healing, taking the reader on a ride into the possibilities of unravelling — and healing — her own life too. It’s a guidebook of sorts, a collection of thoughts and theories, with creative exercises for you to try, and dreamy light-filled Polaroids dotted throughout the te...more

Hardcover, 234 pages

Published June 5th 2012 by skirt!

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Sep 20, 2012 Barbara rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book helped me tremendously as I've grieved the loss of my special dog, Frankie, known as the "walk 'n roll dog" this summer (she was in a doggie wheelchair due to disc disease).

Susannah's book gave me so much hope that I will find a new bliss and direction for my life after such a deep loss. Frankie and I were a team and she was my life and work the past six years, making close to 350 appearances at schools. She was also a therapy dog and we did many visits to a senior assisted facility an...more

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Jul 19, 2012 Clare Herbert rated it 4 of 5 stars

I read Susannah Conway’s ‘This I Know: Notes on Unravelling the Heart’ in one go, wrapped in my duvet, on a bright Sunday morning. I wanted to savour it more slowly, but I just couldn’t put it down. It’s a wonderful book; honest and gently didactic.

At it’s simplest this book could be categorized as a ‘grief memoir’. Susannah’s partner died suddenly in 2005 and this book chronicles how she healed. It’s a collection of ‘thoughts and theories’, insights and ideas. Each chapter ends with a short cre...more

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May 26, 2012 Jill Salahub rated it 5 of 5 stars

Disclaimer: I love everything Susannah Conway does, her blog, her ecourses, her photography, and now this book, This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart. She is consistently honest, open-hearted and funny, willing to share her “wobbly bits” along with the brilliant beauty of life.

Any woman who has experienced grief and loss (that is, every woman alive) should read this book. For some of us this is the loss of a loved one, for others the loss of self, or for others still it might be the loss of...more Disclaimer: I love everything Susannah Conway does, her blog, her ecourses, her photography, and now this book, This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart. She is consistently honest, open-hearted and funny, willing to share her “wobbly bits” along with the brilliant beauty of life.

Any woman who has experienced grief and loss (that is, every woman alive) should read this book. For some of us this is the loss of a loved one, for others the loss of self, or for others still it might be the loss of both. This book is a map of one woman’s personal journey through bereavement and rediscovery of self, but it is also offered as a guidebook for those making their way along the same path, traveling through that same territory of loss. And yet, as Susannah says, this “is not a story about grief, although it informs everything I’ve learned about life. This is a book about unraveling the layers of our lives and exploring what we find in order to better understand ourselves, our relationships, and our path.”

This book embodies, through both word and image, the tender heart of that sadness, not shying away from the reality of it, the truth that life can kick your ass but that we can also lean into joy and be softened by beauty, can and will encounter grace, and know love. We may have tears streaming down our face or feel bad about our thighs, but with our eyes and heart open wide to both the brutality and beauty of life, we can heal, we can live a wholehearted life.

This book might first be about one woman’s individual journey towards wholeness, but in the end, it is an offering to the reader, an invitation to unravel our own hearts. Sometimes, simply knowing that others have walked a similar path is all the medicine and advice you need, but Susannah Conway takes it one step beyond, offering a reflection at the end of each chapter, small creative exercises that invite the reader to explore, to unravel. In this way, it is a book that one could come back to again and again.

In the end, this book is like a long, intimate conversation with the best girlfriend ever, one who has been where you are, can authentically sit in that dark place with you, but who also has a map that shows the way out, an invitation to the rest of your beautiful life.
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Feb 07, 2013 Elle rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: art, non-fiction, 2013readingchallenge

Susannah Conway's 'This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart' is a fantastic book for anyone who is grieving -- due to the death of a loved one. As someone working through grief where no one has died, I found the first half of the book to be less applicable.

Susannah Conway writes with heart and with sincerity, baring herself and the events of her life in a beautiful way. I am somewhat ashamed that I spent the first half of the book skimming every few pages and waiting to get to the actual exerc...more Susannah Conway's 'This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart' is a fantastic book for anyone who is grieving -- due to the death of a loved one. As someone working through grief where no one has died, I found the first half of the book to be less applicable.

Susannah Conway writes with heart and with sincerity, baring herself and the events of her life in a beautiful way. I am somewhat ashamed that I spent the first half of the book skimming every few pages and waiting to get to the actual exercise at the end of the chapter, or waiting for something more relevant to myself. I was expecting more, earlier, on actually unraveling the heart, rather than coping with grief and depression. (Truly valuable resources, I know from experience, but not what I was expecting from this book - at least, no for so much of it.)

That being said, I absolutely loved the second half of the book. The chapter on how women react to their own photographs drew me in and the book kept my attention from that point on. These chapters, later on in the author's life, were the ones I wanted to hear about - finding yourself, a tribe of one, taking chances on a new life. This is the point I find myself at now and I wish there was more material covering these topics. I found myself thinking that it would be wonderful to have lived near Susannah Conway when she started up her night classes - her skill at photography is undeniable and I would love to have more input on her photography exercises than just what is in the book.

I must admit to picking this book up cheaply in ebook format, which detracted from the formatting and quality of the photos, but does mean I was not overly concerned by only loving half the book.

I would recommend this book to anyone struggling to cope with their grief, or wanting to simply know they are not alone. I am also left very interested in the Conway's co-authored book about photography, having seen her skill in the photos through this book.

If this book could be split in two, I would give the first half two stars and the latter half four stars. As it is, I average that out to three out of five stars.(less)

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Feb 10, 2013 Donna Wynn rated it 4 of 5 stars

I am halfway through and can't put this book down, it speaks directly to the heart. I have followed the author's blog for quite some time and this book is like having her right in my home with me! Love it!

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Sep 05, 2012 Natasha rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book has touched me in so many ways, I don't even have the words. I have laughed out loud, and I have cried tears at my own reflections.

The writing is a gift, and though I have finished reading it, it has gone to an easily accessible bookshelf, because I am no where near finished with the book.

In her own words:

"It's a blessing to find writers whose words speak for us when we are mute, the scribes who record our collective experiences and mine their own lives so we can better understand our...more

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Aug 27, 2012 Louise Mathewson rated it 5 of 5 stars

I want to read this again and again!! Susannah shows us how she lets herself enter a cocoon to find herself and she comes out with a beautiful butterfly of a story! She shows us her pain on the page. I found myself loving her more and more and wanting that for myself. If you face the pain of your losses, you will find yourself and be able to love yourself like you deserve. I was so inspired by her writing, that today when I didn't want to take my walk, I borrowed her idea of taking a walk with m...more

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May 13, 2013 Roni Blanche rated it 4 of 5 stars

Some books are so beautiful, I can't help but pick them up and thumb through. "This I Know: Notes On Unraveling The Heart" by Susannah Conway was one of those books: the cover resembled a homemade scrapbook saved for only the most precious photos; the heavy matte pages were filled with random quirky Polaroids, the kind you would tape to the bathroom mirror to keep a special memory fresh in your mind; the size of a girl's secret diary that felt just right clutched against my chest. So I took the...more Some books are so beautiful, I can't help but pick them up and thumb through. "This I Know: Notes On Unraveling The Heart" by Susannah Conway was one of those books: the cover resembled a homemade scrapbook saved for only the most precious photos; the heavy matte pages were filled with random quirky Polaroids, the kind you would tape to the bathroom mirror to keep a special memory fresh in your mind; the size of a girl's secret diary that felt just right clutched against my chest. So I took the book home. And it sat there. From the jacket liner, I knew the book was born out of grief from Ms. Conway having suddenly lost her significant other to a heart attack. I had no current grief issues gnawing at me that made me need to read this book. Still I left the book near my reading chair, picking it up every time I sat down, running my fingers over the cover, flipping through and glancing at the Polaroids until one day I decided I would just start reading. If it was depressing or boring, I would be done with the book, no matter how it's beauty kept drawing me in. Then I wanted to kick myself for waiting so long -- I was hooked even by the introduction when I read:

"Unraveling is not a bad thing. It's not coming undone or losing control. It's letting go in the best possible way, untangling the knots that hold you back, unwrapping the gifts you've hidden for too long, unearthing the potential that's always been there, finally ditching the labels and should-haves, and letting yourself be what you were always meant to be." -- Susannah Conway

I am a sucker for quotes and as soon as I read it I fired this one off in an email to a friend going through an unraveling in her own life. She loved it too. Besides deserving to be front and center on my fridge on a hot pink magnet, this quote sums up the soul of the book. Part memoir, part how-to manual, "This I Know" is about coming through whatever fire you've suffered and rebuilding your life piece by piece with what you love and love to do.
If you are grieving, this book is for you. I also lost a significant other long ago, and Ms. Conway's recounting of the hurt and despair, the hopeful rituals and guilt and baby steps of healing were vividly real. I wish I'd had this book back then to know I wasn't bat crap crazy in all I was going through.
But this book is so much more than a gift for the grieving. "This I Know" is about digging out dreams you forgot you had and making them part of your life; forging past fear and sharing your creativity; becoming friends with your body; making peace between yourself, your face, and aging; and getting comfortable with solitude by creating your own tribe of one.
Being a quote freak, I have to share two more I loved:

"It's never been true, not anywhere at any time, that the value of a soul, of a human spirit, is dependent on a number on a scale." -- Geneen Roth, from "Women, Food and God"

"For me, solitude is not an empty space, but a richly detailed tapestry of my interests, thoughts, and desires. When I am alone I am free to dance inside the textures of my dreams without the pull to be elsewhere, the constant nagging feeling that I should be doing something else." -- Susannah Conway

Ms. Conway found her unraveling from the pit of grief through blogging and taking Polaroids, then turned her passions into online courses to help other women begin the unraveling for themselves. Check out her website, susannahconway.com, to find out more about her classes, photography, and other books.
"This I Know" is beautiful inside and out. Pick it up, you'll see. You'll want one for yourself and one for someone special in your life -- this I know.
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Sep 28, 2012 Todd rated it 5 of 5 stars

To "ravel" is to "entangle or confuse". "This I Know" is a story of un-raveling ... untangling or eliminating (reducing? can we ever truly eliminate?) confusion in the life of the author. After a period consumed by intense grieving, confusion and a near-total loss of self (although the author, I think, makes an excellent case that she was quite "lost" before her loss) caused by the tragic loss of a still-growing and deepening love, Ms. Conway found her way through by "un-raveling". The word simp...more To "ravel" is to "entangle or confuse". "This I Know" is a story of un-raveling ... untangling or eliminating (reducing? can we ever truly eliminate?) confusion in the life of the author. After a period consumed by intense grieving, confusion and a near-total loss of self (although the author, I think, makes an excellent case that she was quite "lost" before her loss) caused by the tragic loss of a still-growing and deepening love, Ms. Conway found her way through by "un-raveling". The word simply came to her, and grew into a touch-phrase (touch-word? touch-stone?) for her to understand the process that she was going through, needed to go through still, to heal after her loss.

"This I Know" (TIK) is a journal of how Susannah (can I call her that? reading this story allowed me to become so intimate with her thoughts that using "Ms. Conway" seems severely formal ... and although Susannah seems far too presumptuous, I can't seem to think of her in any other way) came through the processing of her grief, how she learned much about herself and her wants and needs, to find herself. "Finding" yourself seems cliche' ... but that is exactly what Susannah did.

Susannah Conway has unique and wonderful talents. A favorite passage:
"Sometimes I'm a writer who writes with a camera; sometimes I'm a photographer who shoots with words ...When I read I see images; when I take photographs I hear descriptions. This is my creative world, the two disciplines informing and supporting each other, my photographs telling stories, my words filled with images, the visual and the narrative fusing together."

To hold great depth in either of these talents is rare in and of itself. To exist together in one person ... one body, one heart, one soul ... to the amazing degree that they do within Susannah Conway allows her to express creativity beyond simple description. As with nearly all authors I come to love, I would so enjoy spending time ... a day, a week, an hour ... with Susannah. I do not have these talents. I write without her depth, photograph without her eye for composition, detail and innate descriptive message. To listen to her describe how they work together, to learn how someone with that rare and unique combination thinks and feels and displays those thoughts and feelings ... it's difficult to think of a better use of time.

TIK itself was, to me, a challenging read. Not because of the material or the style or even the words, but because of the thoughts and deep self-examination they caused within my own mind. I found myself reading a page or two or five and setting the book aside as I drifted into introspection. The "Reflections" sections at the end of each chapter are intended, I think, to induce that introspective self-examination (and they did so wonderfully) ... but they were, for me, unnecessary. So many times I found myself sitting with the book open on my lap, thoughts far away, relating her themes to my own process of unraveling.

I save my "5" ratings for books that can, most likely will, cause change in the lives of the reader. TIK deserves a 5+. Someday I hope to meet Susannah Conway and thank her for having the courage to share her story with the rest of us.

ADDED SEPT 27, 2012:
My reviews are being reviewed! Valuable feedback received ... "Your review was incomplete. You mention your own process of unraveling and you say that you reserve 5s for books that can cause change in a reader's life. How did this book help you in your process and how did it change your life?" Good questions ...

Simply put, I am a person who values a roadmap. It's not enough for me to know where I'm starting and where I will end ... I like to have a sense of the route, be able to track my progress, see the milestones and the guideposts along the way. And even though I completely understand that every person and every instance and every situation is totally different, being able to see, hear and feel the path another has taken through uncharted waters helps me. In the introduction, SC writes: "Unraveling is not a bad thing. It's not coming undone or losing control. It's letting go in the best possible way, untangling the knots that hold you back, unwrapping the gifts you've hidden for too long, unearthing the potential that's always been there, finally ditching the labels and should-haves, and letting yourself be what you were always meant to be". I've searched for the "who" of my potential and who I've always been meant to be. I've defined a purpose and identified the "things" (not stuff) my life is missing, the "whats", essentially the gifts I have been given and not been grateful enough to develop and display. Now I'm working on "how" to let go, how to untangle, how to unwrap and best display those gifts and transition from a life that does not fit as it should to a life that does.

The way she both works through her grief and let's her grief work through her, understanding that it's a process with starts and stops and fits and reverses and has no set path was valuable to me. It reinforced my own feelings, though my own "grief" is very different than hers. The feelings that she dealt with on the first anniversary were an example of a surprising reaction along the path that I could relate to. The first reflection helped me define my thoughts and feelings towards people I love ... past and present. The honesty of how she recognized that her memories were possibly tinged pink by what or how she wanted to remember. Her discussion of the body and aging and how essential it is to "look after yourself ... to do something kind to yourself every day" helped me remember that I'm a very physical person and ignoring that as I focus on my mental and emotional well-being is leaving out a piece that is exceptionally important.

Honestly I could go on and on with examples. I can also say that I can't find myself yet able to be as totally open as SC is. I'm both in awe of, and jealous of, her ability to do so. I continue to strive towards greater openness, towards a higher degree of being "real" with and in my life. I've long understood that it's not a switch that can just be flipped. It takes time and effort and a rearrangement of a life that has for far too long not been that way. Those that truly know me are patient and kind as I work my way through. And I love them even more for that.

I hope that helps answer the questions. I know my answer is not complete, but if you read it closely enough, I think you can understand why I enjoyed and value TIK so deeply. My life has changed, and is changing ... for the better ... This I Know. (less)

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Jul 14, 2012 Roxanne Galpin rated it 5 of 5 stars

I am only on page 25 but this book has opened the floodgates. The deep grief and sorrow that I tried to shrink-wrap and stuff away for so many years in so many unhealthy ways has begun to engulf me. Grief denied seems to breed on a logarithmic scale. Susannah is absolutely right, grief does not leave us and we cannot leave it. Rather, we must sit with it and live thru it, accepting its transformative nature. Acceptance. I have to wrap my heart around acceptance in order to let go. How daunting t...more

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Jul 17, 2012 Karen rated it 5 of 5 stars

Some books are so delicious that even though they are meant to be savoured a bite at a time, you can't help but devour them all at once. This is definitely one for devouring and then going back to savour and ponder so you don't miss any moment.
Added bonus, the hardcover is one of the most beautiful books I've ever held in my hands.
As books go, it's a new friend, but I already know it's going to be an old friend that I'm going to visit time and time again.

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Jun 20, 2012 Alicia Fish rated it 5 of 5 stars

I loved this book. Susannah's style of writing is so beautiful and natural. When I read her I can feel the cool salty air and imagine I am a fantastic photographer, bringing out the personality of the person in the picture. She is so honest with herself and with us it is endearing and inspiring. The book was well written, the photographs dreamy and emotional, and the content thoughtful. I loved reading this book and can think of a few people to recommend it to.

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Aug 20, 2012 Kasey rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: illustrated, memoir

Thoughtful and honest. Susannah Conway is a blogger, and her book is quite blog-like, in a good way--very personal, very immediate, very heart-felt. It's also full of her polaroid photographs (there seems to be a sort of polaroid renaissance these days, which I didn't know about!)--which are soft-focused and beautiful and dreamy, other-worldy. The author comes across as a completely likeable person; I was so happy spending time with her. Love the way she refers to the books that have been import...more

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Jan 13, 2013 Jen rated it 5 of 5 stars

I devoured this book in a few days. There were tears, grief, and an immense admiration for other people's bravery. A spiritual read, and a creative guide to travelling a certain path in life that many people face at one time or another, regardless of the specifics of circumstance. Indeed, this book was very timely for me and moved me to start blogging and writing again.

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Jul 18, 2012 Amelia Maness-gilliland rated it 2 of 5 stars

While I enjoy this authors blog on occasion- I really did not understand the purpose of the book- it felt disjointed- it was also a very similar experience as her course- no new material really. The writing is basic- yet sincere. With that said- the author has clearly mastered Polaroid photography- a real expert.

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May 12, 2013 Nan marked it as to-read

Shelves: partially-read-put-aside-for-late

I am thoroughly impressed by the depth with which Susannah writes of the grief experience. Far from a morbid, depressing or dreary read it is obvious Susannah has grown through much of the grief process and is able to clearly relate and acknowledge her progress. She does not shy away or apologize for the lows to which she sank and in so doing exhibits a leadership for those on the same path. Additionally, she expresses honesty in imperfection and gratefulness that good has come as well as the un...more

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Oct 08, 2012 Christine Jolley rated it 4 of 5 stars

Her writing is probably the richest I've read.....gorgeously deep and found it very healing. The only criticism was the structure....I had no idea where the book was going at times and The exercises would have been better at the end as to not disrupt what flow there was. X

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Jun 08, 2012 Kristi rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is a really lovely and inspiring book about overcoming grief, loss and other obstacles to live a heartfelt and authentic life. The writing is breathtaking in parts and the photos are gorgeous. It's a nice pick-me-up of a book if you're looking for inspiration.

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Jul 04, 2012 Barb Novak rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, self-help, creativity

My favorite parts of this story were Susannah telling her story. Those are the parts I really wanted to read.

Each chapter ended with an idea of a way to live a more fulfilling, present life. Although I liked some of those ideas, I found myself sometimes annoyed with the suggestions about how to improve my life. I would have rather read Conway's story and generalized how it could apply to my situation.

I completely loved the color Polaroids, other photos, and handwritten words that were included t...more

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Jan 06, 2013 Charla Brummel rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is one of those books that you read and continually think to yourself "Is she inside of my head?" Although our situations are different, her voice articulated so much of my feelings in my life right now. Really beautiful soul searching stuff.

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Nov 21, 2012 Meglet rated it 5 of 5 stars

One of the most relatable books I have read on the grief experience. I sobbed my way through it and was blessed with some insights into my own experiences with grief over the last year and a half.

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May 19, 2012 Lindsay rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: creativity-art

First of all: I'm a big fan of Susannah's photography, so I was very curious about the story behind her as an artist. This book is a milkshake of her tender words and Polaroids. I had no idea what she has been through, so I've met with her strong side for the first time by reading this book. It's about losing love, grief, depression - slowly unraveling every layer, going far back in the past so everything could be healed. This book also contains some self-love exercises and writing prompts, so y...more

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Aug 18, 2012 Philippa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-2012

A well written, compelling and beautifully illustrated book about creativity, grief, joy and living an honest, authentic life.

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Jan 08, 2013 Cheryl Titus rated it 5 of 5 stars

Encouraging. Inspiring. And a gentle reminder of the progress I've made and the steps yet to take in my journey through the loss of parents in the last three years.

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Aug 27, 2012 Karen Rutherford rated it 5 of 5 stars

Fantastic book! I loved everything about it, except that it had to be written. Lovely. Just lovely.

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Jun 28, 2012 Galina rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: understand-yourself

Susannah's writing is amazing. I am savoring every page and will be very sad when I finish the book.

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Jul 15, 2012 Melissa rated it 5 of 5 stars

One of my all-time favorite books. This book spoke to me in a profound way. It is exceptional.

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Aug 09, 2012 Robby rated it 5 of 5 stars

http://robertauld.blogspot.com/2012/0...

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Dec 18, 2012 Tammy rated it 4 of 5 stars

She has a way with words. Down-to-earth stuff.

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Jul 11, 2012 Karen rated it 4 of 5 stars

enjoyed her artful musings. she is very different than i. i was inspired by her artistic passions. her grief was debilitating. i enjoyed it very much; do not know who i would recommend this to.

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