Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way

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Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way

3.62 of 5 stars 3.62 · rating details · 664 ratings · 185 reviews

Mayim Bialik was the child star of the popular 1990s TV sitcom Blossom, but she definitely didn’t follow the typical child-star trajectory. Instead, Mayim got her PhD in neuroscience from UCLA, married her college sweetheart, and had two kids. Mayim then did what many new moms do—she read a lot of books, talked with other parents, and she soon started questioning a lot of...more

Hardcover, 272 pages

Published March 6th 2012 by Touchstone (first published January 1st 2012)

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Dec 01, 2012 Delilah rated it 5 of 5 stars

I really wished that I had read this book before having my first son Jon. I know it has garnered a lot of negative reviews, but with every book, and as Mayim emphasized the book was on a glimpse of how she raised her children and it is up to you to pick and choose, agree or disagree with the views she had to offer. I love, love this book! There have been many times when I've been told I coddle my son excessively, I am not strict enough, I need to spank him, etc etc. But I look at my child and sa...more

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Oct 25, 2012 Mari rated it 4 of 5 stars

I wanted to love, love, love this book because I aspire to be a hippie mom of sorts and am drawn to attachment parenting. I respect this book and its approach for sure, but in the same way the "cry-it-out" type books leave me feeling like I'm doing it wrong, parts of this made me question what I'm doing.

This book is a look at one family's parenting strategies, and it's written by an actress with a neurobiology PhD. While some of her educational training does seep into the book overall this is a...more

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Aug 28, 2012 Julia rated it 5 of 5 stars

I love, love, loved this book. At first, I sort of dismissed it as celebrity fluff, as the book was fairly "light" in its treatment of the subject. Each chapter was devoted to a different aspect of Attachment Parenting (AP) - and because I'm relatively new to this, I felt it didn't go into much depth. However, I found myself being unable to put the book down, and realized the value in this book is not its theoretical coverage of AP, but rather what it's like to actually LIVE the principles of AP...more

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Aug 26, 2012 Ciara rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: autobio-memoir, baby-pregnancy-infertility-parentin, books-by-celebrities, read-in-2012

okay, i am scoring this one kind of on the lower side, but not because i think that mayim bialik is a hopeless goody-goody or is harming her children via attachment parenting (which seems to be why most people are so critical of this book...though i do siagree with her anti-vaccination stance, just for the record). i guess i am marking it down because i felt that it didn't really provide much info. it purports to be a "guide to attachment parenting". i mean, it's right in the sub-title. but it r...more okay, i am scoring this one kind of on the lower side, but not because i think that mayim bialik is a hopeless goody-goody or is harming her children via attachment parenting (which seems to be why most people are so critical of this book...though i do siagree with her anti-vaccination stance, just for the record). i guess i am marking it down because i felt that it didn't really provide much info. it purports to be a "guide to attachment parenting". i mean, it's right in the sub-title. but it reads more like a memoir, & a wicked boring one at that. mayim hits all the big AP elements: breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, etc. but there's not a lot of "how to," & aside from the agonizingly boring introductory chapter in which mayim reiterates all the science behind why it's neurologically beneficial for children to be raised AP-style, there's not too much "why" either. just lots of rambling about mayim's experiences breastfeeding, mayim's experiences babywearing, mayin's experiences co-sleeping.

in the interest of full disclosure, i should mention that i am interested in attachment parenting & will probably do a lot of it. i plan to breastfeed & am hoping to do baby-led weaning. we have bought slings instead of a stroller. we're sidecarring a daybed-style crib to our mattress so that we can co-sleep. (our house is so small, baby couldn't have its own room even if we wanted it to.) we intend to cloth diaper exclusively, & my partner has expressed a lot of interest in elimination communication. we plan to make our own baby food. but we're not doing this stuff because we have bought into some story that kids who are raised this way somehow turn out more confident & secure than other kids. if that's what happens--cool. i hope my kid will be confident & secure. but we're really doing it because it's what makes the most economical sense for our lifestyle. breast milk is free; formula costs money. mashing up food we already have in the house is cheaper than buying baby food. slings are cheaper than strollers. keeping the baby in our room is cheaper than outfitting a nursery. over the long term, cloth diapers are exponentially cheaper than disposables, & elimination communication is even cheaper than cloth.

so at all the points in the book where mayim wrote about how the choices she was making were really crucial to her kid's psychosocial & neurological development, i just kind of tuned out. i didn't find it offensive--i'm sure most parents think they are making the best choices for their babies, you know? what's the harm in saying so? i am just of the opinion that no matter how you raise your kid, whether you give them breast milk or formula, keep them in a crib on another floor or let them sleep in bed with you, eventually they grow up & become their own person. i was breastfed & cloth diapered when i was a baby (for economical reasons). i don't remember it at all. i doubt that i would be a terribly different person had i been put in pampers. a friend of mine slept in a sock drawer when she was a baby. her parents couldn't afford a crib & matching nursery furniture. but i don't think sleeping in a sock drawer really left a lasting imprint on her psyche or anything--for good or ill.

a lot of mayim's parenting philosophies are off the beaten track, but there was nothing in this book that i hadn't really heard before. she writes about not forcing her children to share toys on the playground or on playdates. this is anathema to a lot of parents, who think that children need to be taught to share or they will become spoiled, selfish monsters. well, i've met a lot of kids whose parents exhorted them to share & they were STILL spoiled, selfish monsters. it's not being forced to share that makes your kid thoughtful & considerate. it's, you know, not being spoiled. it's also appreciating where you kid is at developmentally. an 18-month-old cannot be reasoned with when it comes to sharing. they don't yet have a capacity for empathy. making them share feels to them like you're ripping a toy out of their hands & giving it to another child. they don't understand why that's a "nice" thing & they're definitely not learning any life-long lessons from the whole enterprise. so on stuff like that, i see mayim's point.

i've also seen people saying that mayim is a monster because she lets her babies sleep in bed with her which is OMG so dangerous they'll die any second! well, they're still alive & both are now out of infancy. it seems like MOST new parents say, "i will never let my baby sleep in my bed," & then one too many sleepless nights causes them to make a different decision & bring the baby to bed. so mayim made that choice from the get-go. big whoop. there are times when having the baby in bed is contraindicated, like when a parent is under the influence of some kind of drug or alcohol that is making them sleep more deeply than usual. but in normal circumstances, it's safe for the baby to be in bed as long as it's kept away from pillows & blankets, & having the baby in some kind of bassinet or co-sleeper next to the bed is also safe.

i guess i just would have enjoyed this book more if it went more into the hows in more detail, & if mayim shared alternatives to doing some of the stuff she does. for example, she mainly does elimination communication & didn't have anything to say about cloth diapering. i'd like to read about cloth diapering. she keeps her boys actually in bed with her. i'd like to see a discussion of keeping baby next to the bed. that kind of thing...but ultimately, i don't think this book deserves some of the hate it has gotten.(less)

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Jul 18, 2012 Stuart Derbyshire rated it 1 of 5 stars

Quite easily one of the worst books ever written. Shallow, turgid and mad. Unfortunately, it gels with a lot of completely bonkers ideas about parenting so it will likely be vaguely popular. Just a taste of the awfulness:

"My husband and I are the only caregivers for our kids, and we have no outside help. We have been on three dates in six years, and the only vacations we take are with our kids... Returning to acting as I have done since our second son was out of infancy allows me flexible hours,...more Quite easily one of the worst books ever written. Shallow, turgid and mad. Unfortunately, it gels with a lot of completely bonkers ideas about parenting so it will likely be vaguely popular. Just a taste of the awfulness:

"My husband and I are the only caregivers for our kids, and we have no outside help. We have been on three dates in six years, and the only vacations we take are with our kids... Returning to acting as I have done since our second son was out of infancy allows me flexible hours, no interruption in nursing our son on demand, nor change in our sleeping arrangements since we travel only as a family unit, and I have the ability to see my children most of the day, even when I am working."

It's the insufferable, oppressive nature of it all and the awful 'goodiness' of it that gets my goat. Why would anyway choose to be so appalling? One more quote:

"I don't like parents who pressure my child about pretty much anything; if anything needs to be dealt with regarding their not liking my kid's behavior, I prefer they talk to me, unless my child is causing someone to be in immediate physical or psychological danger. Children are not adults, and adults should talk to adults. Parents can help facilitate discussions between children, but any adult other than a child's parent is perceived by kids as an authority figure, and that can color the interactions unfairly."

Gah, so much for adult solidarity and teaching kids to broaden their horizons beyond the petty concerns of their immediate parents and environment. Compare that with the description of Sears' childhood: "While his mother worked as the manager of a dress shop, Sears went to Mass every day and attended Catholic school. "My mother knew I needed discipline, and the nuns made me toe the mark," says Sears. "I still remember Sister Mary Boniface putting her hand on my shoulder, pinching it and saying, 'You behave.'" Sears mowed lawns and found odd jobs as the neighborhood handyman to help pay his school tuition. "The little old ladies loved me," he says. "At the time, honestly, I thought my childhood sucked. But looking back, I wouldn't change a thing. I think it gave me an appreciation for work ethic." Sears' mother, wanting her son to have positive male role models, paired him with Boy Scout leaders, coaches (Sears was captain of his high school football team) and pastors and priests. This last group was particularly influential." (Quoted in Time, May 2012, Sears authored The Baby Book, widely acclaimed for kicking off 'attachment parenting' that Bialik espouses).

Which sounds better?(less)

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Jul 13, 2012 Helena rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction, parenting

A lot of the info in this book was stuff I'd already at least heard about over the last four years (I have some pretty "crunchy" mom friends), but it was still interesting to read about the reasoning and research behind some of these parenting choices. Bialik is careful to note that while these choices work for her and her family, they are not for everyone--and she doesn't judge anyone for making different choices. I appreciated the lack of judgment and guilt, both of which seem to be quite prev...more

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Apr 02, 2012 Sarah Eiseman rated it 4 of 5 stars

This was a very interesting parenting book. Bialik is a strong advocate for Attachment Parenting, as well as many other non-traditional parenting choices (EC: elimination communication, gentle discipline, etc). Many of her points resonated well with me, while others I was less sure of. I agree with her approach to "stuff". I think our culture is a little too stuff-oriented and not enough touch. We find things to "put" our babies in, instead of holding them. We find toys to interact with them, in...more

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Apr 01, 2012 Amy rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: biology, child-development, consumerism, family, female-authors, homeschooling, infant-development, midwifery, non-fiction, parenthood, parenting, relationships, simple-living

This book was interesting, though for me she was preaching to the choir. And I do mean preaching. Though she tries to have a non-judgemental tone and regularly correct herself, the overall feeling is one of a sermon. I agreed with much of what she said, so it didn't bother me, but I can see how it would some. My only real beef with the book was her ragging on concept books for young children. I full agree that play is the essential "work" of early childhood and share he affinity for Waldorff edu...more

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Mar 19, 2012 Jasmin rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: pregnancy-and-parenting

I really loved this book. I have a seven month old son, and we have been using attachment parenting principles thus far. Not intentionally at first; initially we followed our instincts and our hearts. After he was born and I started wondering if how I was doing things was normal so turned to books to see how things are usually done. Through my research I found that we were using attachment parenting techniques, which makes sense since attachment theory basically says to follow your heart and tru...more I really loved this book. I have a seven month old son, and we have been using attachment parenting principles thus far. Not intentionally at first; initially we followed our instincts and our hearts. After he was born and I started wondering if how I was doing things was normal so turned to books to see how things are usually done. Through my research I found that we were using attachment parenting techniques, which makes sense since attachment theory basically says to follow your heart and trust your instincts. I only know a handful of people who are really doing attachment parenting; most of the moms I know are following a more traditional parenting style of having their baby sleep in a crib and stuff like that. I don't judge these moms AT ALL, I know that no one knows their baby like they do and I am sure they are doing what is best for their family. But sometimes its tough being the oddball. I have a hard time relating to some of their problems, and at the same time I only have one or two friends who can really relate to how we do things. One of these friends sent me an article that featured an interview with Mayim Bialik discussing her new book, Beyond the Sling. As a huge fan of the Big Bang Theory television show (this woman plays one of the main characters in the show), I was excited to see that she does attachment parenting. Not only that, but she has a PhD in neuroscience, which is awesome. Coming from a biology background, that just makes me respect her and her choices even more. I decided to preorder the book.

This book did not let me down. She does not lecture you. She does not tell you what to do. Instead, she tells you her story and what she has been doing and what has and hasn't worked from her. She begins right at pregnancy and continues through breastfeeding, bed sharing, up until gentle disciplining techniques and how to take care of yourself. What was most helpful for me in reading this book was simply having another person I could relate to. It's nice to see someone else doing what you are doing and seeing it be successful. This book has been reassuring. This book also gave me lots of new ideas that I am excited and incorporate into my own parenting.

I would recommend this book to several different types of people. First, to anyone who is curious about attachment parenting but doesn't really know much about it and isn't interested in reading a dense parenting book about it. I read this over the course of a couple of days and it covers all the principles of attachment parenting in a real and light-hearted way. You will definitely get a great idea of what attachment parenting is all about from reading this book. Second, I would recommend this book to anyone who is already using attachment parenting. Like I said previously, it is great to read a success story and have someone to relate to. Third, I would recommend this to anyone who isn't sure about their parenting style (or the one they will use in the future), or is having trouble with their children and not having a great experience as a parent. Even if you don't want to adopt all the principles of attachment parenting, this book may help you gain some new, fresh ideas. (less)

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Apr 08, 2012 Maggie Trinkle rated it 3 of 5 stars

My kids are 5 and 7 and based on an interview I saw I thought it was going to have more about attachment parenting once the kids were out of infancy/toddlerhood. The book is still primarily about attachment patenting in the early years, and it was nice to read it based on what I did do those years and how it was biologically and neurobiologically right for our species. I thought her statement about how she sees so many kids getting unnecessary therapies for developmental delays, spending gobs of...more

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Mar 11, 2012 Jenni rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-2012

I am not a parent, and picked up this book only because I was curious about attachment parenting. I saw a segment on one of the morning talk shows that Mayim Bialik (Amy Farrah Fowler on BBT) uses AP, and gave a brief overview on what is can entail. One comment made was that she never used diapers on her second child. EVER. I was intrigued.

More so, I was fascinated by the ideas in the book. In it she discusses what her family does, and promotes the idea that AP in and of itself is a theory and t...more

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Aug 27, 2012 Sarah rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, non-fiction, pregnancy-baby

Eh I liked it but didn't love it. I like the takeaway message which to me is: Parent the way you feel is natural and trust your instincts. I liked reading about her experience with EC, bed sharing and I especially liked her thoughts on carriers vs. car seats and strollers (I totally agree with her- since I've started using a stroller I do interact with my son less than when he was in his carrier), on "stuff" and why it's not necessary and on the importance of taking care of yourself(Mom) so you...more

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Jun 18, 2012 Rambles Corbeau rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, parenting

Not perfect. It was worth my time though. Affirmed for me that my partner and I have made some good decisions thus far in our parenting. Affirmed for me that I inherently know what to do (not that I really needed that, I already know that I know what to do). There were times I completely agreed with what she was saying and totally identified with her perspective... and then there were other times I did not. One thing that bothered me was the hetero-centric, monogamy-centric normalcy baseline ass...more

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Jun 30, 2012 Laura rated it 3 of 5 stars

Aside from the sheer overuse of the word "intuition" and its derivatives (I really did start to get sick of the word, and it prompted John Lennon to pop into my head with one of his solo tracks), this book was an interesting approach to allow parents and parents-to-be to get a glimpse of the world of attachment parenting, from the perspective of a parent stating what works for her and why, as opposed to some heavy-handed expert telling you what to do with your child. I liked that she wrote with...more

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Mar 24, 2013 Tiffany rated it 3 of 5 stars

I had vaguely heard that one of the actresses from The Big Bang Theory was really into attachment parenting, and I just happened to see this book at the library so I got it out of curiosity. We follow many of the principles of attachment parenting (with the notable exception that we sleep-trained our kids after bed-sharing for 4-5 months; oh, and we don't do EC). It was interesting reading about her perspective on the benefits of attachment parenting and how she has made it work for her family....more

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Nov 17, 2012 Miranda rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

I found this book fairly interesting and would serve well as an introduction to the philosophies and practices of attachment style parenting. The first half of the book was nothing I haven't read elsewhere, but I did find the chapter on elimination communication fascinating and found the chapters on parenting toddlers useful. I liked Mayim's writing style and enjoyed reading about her personal experiences as a mother. She is not the stereotypical Hollywood actress- she comes across as very intel...more

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Jun 22, 2012 Pam rated it 2 of 5 stars

At first, I thought, "here is a mom who really gets why I've made the parenting choices I have!" Yes, I did the drug-free, intervention-free birth, breast-fed, did constant baby wearing, co-slept, had a baby who signed for potty at 12 months and "potty-trained himself". Check check check. BUT I had my son vaccinated (but on an alternative schedule). I believe it is a public health issue. Let's face it, if your kid ever plans to travel, they will need many of the same vaccinations anyway. Also, p...more

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May 01, 2012 Amanda Snow rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, adult-non-fiction, april, library-copy

Originally published at www.apatchworkofbooks.com

For the past few years, the only time Mayim Bialik's name popped into the news was because people were criticizing some of her parenting choices. I never paid much attention, but when she was added to the cast on The Big Bang Theory and more and more people started noticing her and choosing to judge her choices, I started listening a bit closer, especially now being a mom myself.

Beyond the Sling is Bialik's explanation of what attachment parentin...more Originally published at www.apatchworkofbooks.com

For the past few years, the only time Mayim Bialik's name popped into the news was because people were criticizing some of her parenting choices. I never paid much attention, but when she was added to the cast on The Big Bang Theory and more and more people started noticing her and choosing to judge her choices, I started listening a bit closer, especially now being a mom myself.

Beyond the Sling is Bialik's explanation of what attachment parenting is and why she and her husband choose to practice it. The book is informative, covering everything from the science of their choices to their own deductive reasoning (as one would assume would be included from a neuroscientist). It's written in a down-to-earth, yet matter-of-fact tone. Though she knows her choices are not necessarily conventional and may even be controversial (no vaccines, no antibiotics, no medications), she doesn't apologize at all and I totally appreciated that.

Though our family doesn't/won't practice a lot of what is talked about, I respect the decisions this family has made and they've been explained in a manner that convinces me of their choices. I understand why they're doing certain things, even if they aren't right for our my own family.
My biggest disagreement with Bialik...and one that actually produced multiple eye rolls...had to do with play. She doesn't believe we should "teach" our children anything before age 5. Meaning, no ABC song, no counting, no colors. Most books they read do not have pictures. She wants them to enjoy being kids, figuring things out on their own. I think it's taking away a whole lot of fun and imagination time from them, especially with the books! Elliott is 5 months old and LOVES when I sing the ABC's to him! Oh and she doesn't teach sharing either...that's just one other issue.

I did love her explanation of why they chose to wear their babies and we do that a lot around here too. Elliott loves his sling and his Moby wrap and isn't so fond of "structured" carriers, like our Chicco one. He wants to be curled up and close and that's great! The wraps are more comfortable anyways.

I'm also into the "less is more" philosophy when it comes to toys and things. He doesn't need a lot to play with, he needs us, books, and a couple of toys. The less plastic, the better, in my opinion. We're already planning his first birthday party to include a "donation" to Toys for Tots instead of birthday gifts. With it being so close to the holidays, what a great way to still let people bring a gift, but not have it stay in my house :)

We also won't be letting Elliott watch television until he's much older, though we won't be total freaks about it and whip his head away if he so much as glances at it. Just our personal choices.

Overall, I enjoyed the tone of the book and that no apologies were given for their beliefs. I may disagree with some things and I may not practice most of them, but I did enjoy reading about another family's way of parenting their children. It not only inspires ideas, but helps to solidify what I'm doing right!(less)

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Jan 12, 2013 Maren rated it 4 of 5 stars

Honestly, my only reason for picking up this book was curiosity about my childhood friend who married the author, Mayim Bialik ("Blossom" if you are my age, "Amy Farrah Fowler" if you are younger). I haven't seen him in 20 years, but our moms are still in touch and that is how I found out they were married. Word on the street is they are no longer together, but she talks a lot about her husband in the book and it is fun for me to hear about him as a dad.

I had a lot of different thoughts as I rea...more Honestly, my only reason for picking up this book was curiosity about my childhood friend who married the author, Mayim Bialik ("Blossom" if you are my age, "Amy Farrah Fowler" if you are younger). I haven't seen him in 20 years, but our moms are still in touch and that is how I found out they were married. Word on the street is they are no longer together, but she talks a lot about her husband in the book and it is fun for me to hear about him as a dad.

I had a lot of different thoughts as I read this book. I first read the reviews. Wow, people have strong feelings about her parenting methods! I wanted to give the book a 5 just to try to balance all the emotional skewing of the ratings. Then I read the table of contents. Babywearing? Family bed? Elimination communication?!?!! Yikes, maybe I agree with the haters!

But then I actually read the book. Let me say I am not going to adopt any of the practices she outlines. My kids are still going to school, my baby still contributes to landfills with his diapers (sorry, environment), and I'm not going to feel guilty giving my kids tylenol. However, I enjoyed the book for these reasons:

1. Since he is also her kids' parent, she talks a lot about her husband. That is why I wanted to read the book in the first place.

2. She is entertaining, humorous, and fun to read.

3. She says she does not judge other parents, and for the most part that is how she comes across. There were a few statements she made that I thought were getting close to looking down on parents with a more conventional style, but more often she is simply sharing her own experience, not trying to say she is better than other parents. I found her tone different than Amy Chua (Tiger Mother), who I felt unfairly compared the worst Western parents with the best Eastern parents.

4. She is intelligent and thoughtful. We have some friends who are of the "other" political party than we are, but I love talking politics with them because they are intelligent, informed, and good-hearted people. Even though I often disagree with their conclusions, I appreciate their thoughts and the process they went through, therefore I can respect their opinions, sometimes more than people who we share the same opinion but they may be uninformed, blindly following the crowd, and combative. That is how I felt about Mayim, whether or not I agree with her conclusions, she researched and reflected to come to an intelligent, informed conclusion about what was best for her family. She cares about her role as a mother and makes her decisions deliberately, so that is something we share even if ultimately our methods are different.

5. Even though I wasn't thrilled with some of her practices, the core principles are universal (as stated on the book jacket). "Attachment parenting" means bonding with your child and communicating with them to meet their needs. What parent doesn't want that? On the spectrum I'd say (although I was trying to avoid this word, it is unavoidable!) she is extreme, but that is her intention, to be completely dedicated to this parenting style. No one can argue that to meet your child's needs you need to know them, you need to spend (quality) time with them to know them, and the more the better. That is easy to agree with. Whether that means you don't even hire a babysitter and wear your baby strapped to your body 99% of the day and night, or work full time so preserve the three hours between picking them up from daycare and bedtime as dedicated to the kids (a conversation I recently had with my friend who owns her own business), or something in between like me, where I am a stay-at-home mom but they go to school for six hours a day and they sleep in their own bedroom at night (well, baby not yet). Mayim believes her methods optimize the attachment to her kids, but everyone can figure out the best way to attach to their own kids. That attachment is sometimes not a high enough priority for parents in our society I agree with her, but for parents who make it a priority, they have many options for what that ultimately looks like. If you want to be completely dedicated to the prescribed Attachment Parenting method, she offers practical advice, but there are also plenty of sound principles for those looking for them. It made me reflect on what I would like to do to improve my attachment to my kids. It did not include any of her practices other than the ones I was already doing, but the principles provided some guidance. Gentle discipline, for instance.

6. Despite our differences, she seems like a delightful person to hang out with with our kids at the park or have a playdate together. Her book had that personal, informal tone, like chatting with a nice friend.

So as a parenting book I didn't find it particularly useful, but as entertainment I found it enjoyable and inspirational.(less)

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Apr 02, 2012 Jessie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenting

First of all, Bialik does a great job of explaining Attachment Parenting in an easy to understand way. She is also obviously wicked smart and a scientist, and uses her science background to make a case for the AP way of life. She is obviously very, very strict about her AP parenting. The writing style is readable and friendly.

The reason I only give 3 stars is that much like any other book written by a wealthy celebrity about how to live life, I just get irritated. I'm irritated that someone maki...more

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May 28, 2012 Kathleen rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, parenting-and-child-development

Who knew that Mayim Bialik could write such an engaging book?! I wouldn't have guessed. However, she did write a fantastic book describing her experiences with attachment parenting. I found her account of her own family's experiences really helpful and charming.

You know what's not helpful and charming? The people reviewing her book on Goodreads, using their reviews as a way to judge and condemn her parenting choices. Throughout the book, Bialik speaks very respectfully about other people's paren...more

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May 02, 2013 Anna rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: doula-resources, kids-parenting, non-fiction

Quick thoughts: I was very much NOT a fan of the introduction, which gave a very different impression about the tone of the book than I think was accurate. Bialik's own writing is much more approachable, and although it does at times come across as condescending or bossy, for the most part, I found it fairly convincing when she expressed that what worked for her, even when it was evidence-based, might not work or be best for everybody. I was, for example, prepared for her discussion of vaccines...more

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Apr 13, 2013 Melanie rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: everyone

I loved reading this book as it reinforces my innate wisdom (which exists in EVERY woman) as a parent. Trusting my instincts and not questioning my "methods" when they work for us, being able to relax around my kids and not force what is not natural in my heart, helping them to thrive and become who they were *meant* to be, all are tenets I share with the author. I appreciate she also has a science-based background which supports the way she raises her kids as I also believe my strong background...more

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Sep 16, 2012 Colleen rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenting

I wanted to like it a lot more than I did. I came at it from an opinion of "I don't think I will be all-in regarding attachment parenting, but I also don't know enough about it so let's read this book." After reading it, I know now that this parenting lifestyle (not parenting style) is not for me. Bialik would say that's ok. If I clarified my thought to add that I don't think it's feasible for my life, that I won't be a stay-at-home mom and that this lifestyle seems to require that, I think she...more I wanted to like it a lot more than I did. I came at it from an opinion of "I don't think I will be all-in regarding attachment parenting, but I also don't know enough about it so let's read this book." After reading it, I know now that this parenting lifestyle (not parenting style) is not for me. Bialik would say that's ok. If I clarified my thought to add that I don't think it's feasible for my life, that I won't be a stay-at-home mom and that this lifestyle seems to require that, I think she would respond that while it doesn't require one to be a stay-at-home mom, someone who gets this lifestyle would probably want to be one and you can do it if you want it bad enough, and are willing to stop going on lavish vacations and eating at the hippest restaurants every week. I get what she's saying, but it's a broad generalization that's not fair for people like myself who don't summer on the Cape, but who do want to live in a high cost-of-living area for the perks that such a culturally rich area brings.

What I took most from the book is the reminder that at the end up the day, your children just want you and nothing else really matters. I think that perspective is good for when life gets crazy. It's why I may rent a condo for many years - I'd rather have a shorter commute to get home to my future kids than a longer commuter to a big house with a yard, but never getting to see said kids.

I liked the gentle parenting section - I think I will seek out resources to learn more. I like the idea that kids want to be good; they at least don't want to be bad, and so discipline should recognize that most kids are not sociopaths. It seems similar to the attitude purportedly held by many French woman, at least the ones written about in Bringing Up Bébé. In that book, children are treated with a respect that reflects their status as human beings. They are not necessarily treated as mini adults, but rather as an ever-growing person with an individual personality. However, the French allow much more play by the children by themselves, where Bialik and I guess attachment parenting defer to the child for the most part.

I think this book is helpful for someone to start weeding through the possibilities to figure out the type of parent they want to be. I do think, however, that Bialik walks a fine line in the book. She tries to both present it as a lifestyle that is best for her family, not necessarily everyone's (and certainly not for a family who hasn't bought-in to the philosophy), but then slips in that she thinks (both as a mom and as a scientist) this philosophy is the best for children.

While Bialik isn't condescending, the book can be preachy, as I'm slowly finding most parenting books to be. I would certainly recommend this to anyone who's looking to take ideas from all philosophies in order to test what's best for their own family.

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Apr 19, 2012 Lisa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Overall I really liked this book. I wouldn't say it's groundbreaking, but it was a definite boost to my own family's attachment parenting beliefs and could be a great intro for the general public. Mayim discusses all the aspects of attachment parenting plus elimination communication, gentle discipline, as well as her beliefs on media and technology in children's lives, and how she and her husband apply those beliefs to their family. Mayim also writes a little bit about the science behind AP as w...more

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Apr 10, 2012 Stephanie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: mom-stuff, non-fic

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MaryLiz LeBoeuf I didn't get that sense at all. I felt like she was saying that medical interventions are overused, but there is a need in some cases for intervention...more
Apr 13, 2012 05:06pm

Stephanie different folks will take different things from the chapter (and the book as a whole), true enough. and i respect your opinion, but i don't see how yo...more
Apr 14, 2012 06:31am

Aug 06, 2012 Lessa Pelayo-lozada rated it 3 of 5 stars

Bialik tries to give a well-rounded, non-hippy sounding look at Attachment Parenting and gives her reasons to practice this style of parenting as mostly based on scientific research and intuition. She says over and over again in the book that Attachment Parenting looks different depending on the family and that there is no one right way to raise a child and she doesn't want to make anyone feel bad for their choices, but she also emphasizes a few points pretty regularly. Not having children of my...more

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Nov 08, 2012 Carisa rated it 3 of 5 stars

Overall, I enjoyed reading this book and found it interesting. I am not sure whether reading about a celebrity's life is what kept me turning the pages or whether it was the topic. I picked it up because I've heard the term attachment parenting tossed around a lot and I was curious about it. In the beginning Bialik does a good job summarizing the basic principles of the parenting style and I found myself agreeing with a lot of it. She then describes how she incorporates the principles on a daily...more

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Jan 21, 2013 Erin O. rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-non-fiction

This book is the first thing I've ever read about attachment parenting, and the ideas presented in the book will certainly stay with me for a long time. While I may not agree with every statement or choice made by the author, at its core the philosophy of attachment parenting seems like something I could get behind.
This book started out making a lot of sense but got pretty crazy about halfway through. The style of parenting supported by the author calls into question literally everything I've ev...more

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May 12, 2012 Jane marked it as triedtoread

I thought I was going to love this book, after all, she says, many times, that this is just her journey and not a "you should..." book.
First, although she says it's for you no matter where you are on your parenting journey, she talks a lot about "Baby". So, since I don't have a baby, I started skipping around.
Second, I live in Austin, I have enough friends who practice some level of attachment parenting that if I wanted this information, I'd ask them. She promised me the science behind it. The...more

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About Mayim Bialik

Mayim Hoya Bialik is best known for her lead role in the 1990s NBC sitcom Blossom, as well as for her portrayal of the young Bette Midler in "Beaches." She has also appeared in Woody Allen's "Don't Drink the Water" and HBO's "Curb Your Enthusiasm."

Bialik was born to first-generation American teachers and documentary filmmakers and was raised in Los Angeles, attending both public and religious scho...more Mayim Hoya Bialik is best known for her lead role in the 1990s NBC sitcom Blossom, as well as for her portrayal of the young Bette Midler in "Beaches." She has also appeared in Woody Allen's "Don't Drink the Water" and HBO's "Curb Your Enthusiasm."

Bialik was born to first-generation American teachers and documentary filmmakers and was raised in Los Angeles, attending both public and religious school. Bialik has guest starred on some of the most beloved TV shows of the 1980s and 1990s including "MacGyver," "The Facts of Life," and "Webster." She has appeared numerous times on "The Tonight Show," "The Arsenio Hall Show," and on Conan O'Brien and Jon Stewart's early forays into late-night.

Bialik received her B.S. in Neuroscience and Hebrew and Jewish Studies from UCLA in 2000 and earned a Ph.D. in Neuroscience in 2007 from UCLA, specializing in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in adolescents with Prader-Willi syndrome. She is the celebrity spokesperson for the Holistic Moms Network, a national non-profit organization dedicated to supporting holistic and green parenting and living.

Bialik gave birth to a son in 2005, and a second son (born at home, largely unassisted) in 2008. She is a Certified Lactation Educator Counselor and is devoted to a lifestyle of attachment parenting, homeschooling, natural family living, and vegan cooking. Bialik is the co-founder and chair of the youth branch of the Jewish Free Loan Association (Genesis) and enjoys speaking on a variety of topics, including her journey to embracing traditional Jewish values. She studies Jewish texts weekly with two study partners.

Recent appearances include recurring roles on "Secret Life of the American Teenager" and FOX's "Til Death." She portrayed 1960's activist Nancy Kurshan in "Chicago 8," and she appears regularly on CBS's "The Big Bang Theory" as Sheldon's friend who is not his girlfriend, Amy Farrah Fowler. Bialik is currently writing a book on holistic parenting, to be released by Simon & Schuster in early 2012.(less)

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title link	preview: Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way
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Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way

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