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3.87 of 5 stars 3.87  ·  rating details  ·  904 ratings  ·  119 reviews

Martin Kowalski is an eighty-year-old man stuck in a twenty-year-old body. He works the graveyard shift. He has a poster of Bela Lugosi on his wall and a box of uneaten Count Chocula in his pantry. He drinks stem-cell-derived blood from cleverly packaged and marketed juice boxes. He is, in short, a vampire. But since his wildly successful scheme to turn as many mortals as...more
Paperback, 384 pages
Published October 4th 2005 by Gallery Books (first published July 27th 2004)
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Vampire Academy by Richelle MeadTwilight by Stephenie MeyerMarked by P.C. CastCity of Bones by Cassandra ClareBlue Bloods by Melissa de la Cruz
Best Teen Vampire Fiction
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Community Reviews

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Is it possible to have a book about vampires be as far removed from the vampire fiction genre as possible? Don't let the truly dire paperback cover turn you off from this book, it has more in common with Nick Hornby than Anne Rice. If you're a fan of vampire fiction I honestly wouldn't recommend this book. David Sosnowski manages to create a touching and intriguing piece of fiction that's a beautiful tribute to the often twisted and difficult father-daughter relationship. It just so happens that...more
From a blurb on the back cover:
"...a darkly humorous tale of the struggle between two of literature's most horrifying creatures: a vampire and a little girl."

Nice commentary on America, mortality, love, family, and the illusory passage of time. Considerably more heartwarming than my usual picks, but in a good way. Well-illuminated characters, behaving realistically in a just-detailed-enough setting, balance nicely with a plot equipped with as many unexpected turns as real life.

Ya see? The other...more
This is a fun, inventive book about the world as it might be if almost everyone was a vampire.

Marty Kowalski was changed during World War II. After years of living as an average vampire, he decided to spread the eternal life around. Now humans are rare, and vampires are nothing special. The world has adjusted to a nocturnal schedule, and vampires hold down normal jobs to pay for their synthetic blood.

When Marty gets bored with the world he helped create, he starts to think about ending his undea...more
D.M. Dutcher (Sword Cross Rocket)
The reason why I give this one star is complex. It's not the fault of the writing, but the book's moral universe is flawed, immoral, and horrific. Let me explain:

Stanley Kowalski is a vampire. Along with some friends, he spread vampirism among the normal world to such a point where they are the dominant species on the planet. Vamp is the new normal. One day he runs across a human girl, Isuzu, whose mother has been killed by vampires. He takes her in hoping to kill her, but he views her as a pers...more
This is not your typical vampire story, not a horror or romantic vampire. It’s a sad, funny and unexpected read. It took me longer than usual to get through the first couple of pages and I am so glad that I stuck with it. Martin Kowalski is partially responsible for turning the world vamp. Only a few humans exist and they are kept on hunting preserves. He is considering suicide when he comes across a six-year old girl, an escapee.
He takes her in thinking she’ll be a good snack and ends up as a...more
At first he just wants to keep her as a rare snack for later, but then the little girl gets something way more precious. A bittersweet reminder of what it means to be living and a purpose to go on doing so.
I'm a big fan of vampire romances and was in the mood for a change of pace. This book definitely was an excellent one.
Endearing, full of humor (but at no moment cheesy) as well as exciting and tragic this story is a whole new take on vampires. Marty's struggles to be a good "parent" are so viv...more
This book is a deeply funny and sometimes depressing exploration of what world-wide vampirism would look like: when everyone's vamped, the glamor gets lost. Marty is a bored vampire and he's not getting any older. Stumbling across a child refugee from a human farm, his initial intentions of biting her as last gasp of his glory days gets put aside as they get to know each other and become a distinctly weird little family.

The main character is a likeable flawed guy facing fatherhood alone in a wo...more
This book was really good, but I wouldn't read it again. It's a great one-time read for a lazy day. Marty (the protagonist) really got my heart though. His relationship with Izusu is so touching. I loved how emotional and close he felt with her while raising her.

My only beef with this book is I HATED the ending. It didn't feel right. I loved everything else though.

Favorite part: When Marty takes Izusu to the mall in Fairbanks and allows her to act like a Screamer.
Wendy Holcombe
This book had a great premise but it just wasn't carried out very well. It's an all vamp world where humans only exist on farms and a vampire finds a little girl who has escaped and he raises her....interesting huh? you'd think so, but nah, it just wasn't there.
too bad.
Fun vampire fantasy. None of the brooding, sulking morose vampire nonsense. Wry humor and well written banter between the protagonists. Thoroughly enjoyable. I laughed out loud drawing curious looks when reading in public.
A great, lighthearted read that manages to de-glamorize the vampire schtick but makes it much more interesting in the process. And the kid's name is Isuzu Trooper. How can you not love that.
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
I liked the first 13 pages or so, but thn I started not to lik it because it started getting slow for me, lik too boring for my interest between those pages, but thn whn it has the parts of Isuzu and Marty in it, i am compelled to read those parts. I did skipped about 10 pages throughout the book:( but into the middle the ending were the best laughable, well described, well written lines. I loved Isuzu and Marty's(daughter and father) even though they werent blood-linked relatable. After about e...more
I got this for $5 from the bargain shelf at Barnes & Noble. It looked like a frivolous, fun, fast read. It was, but there was more to it. Maybe that's just how I am. I like to think silly things are deeper than they actually are. Anyway, the only other vampire book I've read is "Interview with the Vampire." This was completely different. Obviously the most captivating, story-worthy part of vampirism is the immortality. This had an entirely new approach to that. It was so imaginative, eccentr...more
Nov 15, 2007 Sao rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone interested in a light read.
Shelves: vampire-books
Have you ever thought of what life would be if it had no end? What would occupy your nights when there was nothing left to be done? Martin Kowalski is more than simply bored with his life, he has lost all sense of moving forward, and his death wish is great; but what happens when a small child is left behind to be found by a hungry and bored vampire?
An immortal man on the verge of giving up, only to be pulled back by a little girl who has given him a reason to continue on living; David Sosnowsk...more
Marty was part of a group of vamps that decided the world would be better off if it were more vampire then human. Unfortunately they succeeded and now after couple of decades he's kind of bored. Then he finds Isuzu, a 6 year old whose mother was murdered by a group of vampires. At first, Marty keeps her as a future snack, but eventually he raises her like a daughter.

So this was totally not what I was expecting at all. It's less of a vampire book and more of a relationships book. Marty and Isuzu'...more
Karen Dales
When I picked up this novel in the used book shop, I was intrigued by the back cover. It appeared I had found a vampire novel with a different enough story from most other vampire novels that I could actually find it refreshing, and I did, at first.

The concept of the novel is fantastic and well crafted, at least for the first part. The humour in it was supurb. How can you not laugh at the thought of a vampire named Marty Kowalski and in his boredom he decided to raise a human child. A vampire tu...more
If you can get past the vulgarity, and I suppose what can you expect from a book about vampires?, you actually encounter a pretty rich plot with subplots and an emotional development of the narrator/main character. This book is full of puns and off-color jokes and the vampire culture is very well woven throughout. There actually is a very sweet relationship here between the vampire and the young mortal girl who he adopts. There is also a happy ending. There are vague references to this world inh...more
Marty is Average Joe Vampire wondering what to do with eternity. He is so bored that he's thinking about ending it all. In his world almost everyone is a vampire. The thrill of the chase has vanished. They sip blood made from stem cells. A living, breathing human is a rarity, a delicacy to savor should one cross your path. Then one night a suicidally depressed Marty stumbles upon little human girl, Isuzu Trooper Cassidy. This gives him a whole new lease on his unlife. He wins her trust planning...more
I read this last year, so the fact that I haven't completely forgotten it is a good sign, especially considering the overabundance of vampire novels for a while now. Probably the most original vampire novel I've read; though surely there are a few others set in a world with a vampire majority, I can't recall having read any others, so either there aren't many of them or they're not that good.

Also, I like how the author relied more on circumstance and plot to make his story unique, rather than c...more
This book is about Martin, who is a vampire bored with life. He actually wants to end it, but in the process he finds a young human girl named Isuzu. The girl has escaped from a "farm" with her mother, who has been killed. At first, Martin takes the girl home just so he can snack on her later. However, he becomes more of a father to little Isuzu. The book takes you through the life of Martin and Isuzu, throwing in some humor and quirky vampire characteristics.

This was a different kind of vampire...more
Not too bad. I was lent this book a while back and finally got to it. Not as awesome as I was led to believe, but it had some good moments, and was pretty fun at times. The end felt a bit rushed, and the very end was a bit unnerving. Anyone who read it knows what I'm talking about. All in all, not bad for a Vampire tale, and I pretty much have had it with Vampires, so that's a pretty high mark.
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
God this was fantastic, Marty actually cracks me up. This story basically is about an 80 year old vampire 'Marty' who at the start is disillusioned with the vampire world he's helped built. He runs into a little 6 year old girl (human) or rather runs into her knife and well everything goes on from there. Sosnowski is very talented and his style of writing is exactly what I love. Its hilarious reading how this vampire deals with his little 'shit factory' haha. I loved this. Not your run of the mi...more
Ketan Shah
David Sosnowki does a terrific job of imagining our world inhabited entirely by vampires,many of whom lead mundane 9-5's obvious that a lot of thought has gone into building up the nitty gritty of vampire life,stripped of the glamorous/erotic elements usually associated with the vampire genre.What we get is a totally believable vampire society,complete with 7-11s that sell frozen blood,and ironic Bela Lugosi film festivals.It would be great to read it as a companion novel to Richar...more
Nick Stengel
The book follows Marty the vampire who has an existential crisis and ends up adopting a human child to raise in a world dominated by vamps. This isn't Twilight or Lestat, there is no sex, though some of the characters are strippers and prostitutes. It's a comedy of a child reacting to the alien-ness of a vampire world. And it is pretty funny, though compressed, as we see the child grow from 5 to 18 in only 400 pages, with all the attendant crises of each age. Good, but facile.
Feb 19, 2008 Andrew rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: quick wit, light reader
A fun book that paints a picture of a modern world that humans left behind and only vampires can shed light at what being human is really about. Sownowski's character development is fun, quirky and a quick-wit at taking stabs at consumerism, technology, and the lifestyle of the blood sucker.

And easy and fun read overall that will have you laughing. It takes having Sownowski removing humans from the equation for us to appreciate the simplicities of life.
I've read a few vampire books, and I've heard about tons of other and usually know the storyline behind them. Girl is lonely; girl has no friends; girl meets vampire; girl and vampire fall in love; drama ensues. And I pretty much want to burn them all. But this has been one of the very rare cases where a vampire book makes me so in tune with the characters that I actually feel I'm apart of their "family". It's so good, I've read it over and over again.
This book is so great I've recommended it to the dean of English at my college. And to some good friends. It really breathes life into a genre I thought I'd read to death (no pun intended) since middle school. This book is insightful, witty and all in all one of the best reads I've had this year thus far. I would absolutely call it a must a read if your looking for something smart, funny, and so much more. This book won't disappoint.
This is a really good bk...the main character has a dry sense of human...and it is a very type of vampire bk...more laid back...the character is multi-dimensional...and the landscape the writer paints for us is one that if vampires did exsist - this world could be one of the possible outcomes. There is no glamour is being a vampire when everyone else is...all the vamps go to wk and many lead a mundane life!
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