Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir
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Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir

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3.9 of 5 stars 3.90  ·  rating details  ·  70,149 ratings  ·  10,977 reviews
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When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father (a professional taxidermist who created dead-animal hand puppets) and a childhood of wearing winter shoes made out of used bread sacks. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame spiral that is her l...more
Audio CD, 7 pages
Published April 17th 2012 by Penguin Audio
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Jenny Lawson
Jan 10, 2012 Jenny Lawson rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  (Review from the author)  ·  review of another edition
I wrote this book so I think I'm required to like it. But I'd like it even if someone else wrote it. Although if they did I'd sue them for stealing my life story.

How confusing.

Much like the book.
Grace
If you're looking for a Sedaris alternative, this unfortunately isn't it. Which kills me, because I get the feeling Lawson had the potential (and raw material) to knock it out of the park, but it just doesn't come together.

Jenny Lawson is definitely funny. When she really gets going on a story, it's pretty fantastic - but that's only 10% of the book, and the remaining 90% is just awful. I can't help feeling like this book was all written in a single sitting, with little editing or review. It's u...more
Jeanette
Skull and crossbones on this one if you're easily offended. So no whiners, okay? I mean it. Just....no whining.

This is the most hilarious vagina memoir ever written. Okay, so technically it's not just about vaginas, but she mentions hers more often than anyone I've ever known who actually owns one. And besides, I had to throw that out there right at the start, so if you're going to get all upset you can just get it overwith and stay. away. from. the. book. Should you choose to read it anyway, d...more
Patrick
First, I should mention that I listened to this one on audiobook. Didn't read the text version.

Second, the audio version is read by the author. I think Jenny did a nice job with it, too. If you're used to nothing but professional audiobook narrators, there might be a few verbal ticks in here that might bug you. But me? For an autobiographical work like this? I'd much rather hear it in the author's own voice.

Third, she got some actual laughs out of me. Not just amusement or smiles. Not just chu...more
karen
**edited...with content!**

watch your fucking back, sloane crosley...this lady is funny-funny, not "boys tell me i am funny at parties because i am pretty" funny.

i am so glad that kelly read this before me and it encouraged me to pick up my ARC and get into it far earlier than i ordinarily would have. BUT NOT EARLIER THAN I WOULD HAVE HAD I ACTUALLY WON THIS THROUGH THE FIRSTREADS PROGRAM, WHICH IS HOW THIS SHOULD HAVE GONE DOWN, GOODREADS!STOP WITH THE SNUBBING ALREADY!

i had never heard of jenny...more
Katie Mercer
Basically the best review I can give this book, is that as a librarian I'm pretty much giddy with excitement waiting for the things people will come tell me after they've read this book. From the (boring) I loved that it was an honest look at mental illness and survival (very true) to the (no seriously I can not wait) YOU LET MY CHILD READ THIS AND NOW THEY WANT A DEAD SQUIRREL PUPPET and THIS BOOK IS BLASPHEMY AND READING IT KILLS PUPPIES AND KITTENS.

I pretty much giggled in excitement when I w...more
Trudi

Jenny Lawson (aka The Bloggess) is seriously effed up, and that doesn't always equate with being seriously bleeping funny but in her case, this book will S-L-A-Y you. I laughed so hard in parts I shed tears (and a little pee I think). Just sayin'. For anyone out there with some incontinence issues already.

Her frantic, stream-of-consciousness delivery (though punctuated with gems of insane hilarity) can get exhausting. Sometimes you just want to scream, "Jenny, will you just shut the *&%@# u...more
Chris
Aug 20, 2012 Chris rated it 1 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: people with no sense of humour, whiny people, folks with too much spare time Americans
Overall Rating: 1.5


I don’t know if it’s specifically American problem, but let me tell you, this is one of the worst memoirs I’ve read. (Seriously America, do you honestly find this funny? O.o) And I’ll tell you why, I’m not just saying this because of some misplaced sense of spite, ok?

When I first heard about this book, I was very excited – it sounded like a real good reading material and it had an awesome cover to boost with too.

From the very beginning though, I realized it would be far from t...more
Jaime Abbess
I’m not sure what I enjoyed more about this book. The actual laughing to tears moments while reading or the actual laughing to tears moments while retelling the stories to my boyfriend (who kept mentioning that he and Victor have a lot in common).

It says a great deal about Jenny Lawson (of blogging fame) that at 38, she was able to write a 300+ page memoir that is interesting to read. Interesting, not because she is a celebrity or has boinked a celebrity, but because she has lived a strange lif...more
Kelly O'Dowd
One of the perks at working at a large chain bookstore are the free Advanced Reader's Copies of future books. But I guess one really can't get an Advance Reader's Copy of a book that came out in the past. Although, strangely enough I've seen it happen. But I think it's because the store mail got lost.

So I got this book for free. Which was awesome. Because when it finally comes out for reals, I'll think, HOLY CRAP I KNOW WHAT I'M GETTING! and totally buy it for like $45 minus my other perk of a...more
Christy Compeau
May 05, 2012 Christy Compeau rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Christy by: Kelli Jordan
This book is a laugh out loud, get yelled at by your husband because your silent laughter is shaking the bed too much, entertaining book. I've never read the author's blog but really enjoyed the book. The only detractor for me was the over use of the F-bomb. Granted, I was assured that this is just the way that the author talks so I wont complain too much but I could have done without the overuse.

Read it!
Ariana
i heard an interview with jenny lawson on npr and she was really interesting. i had read some of her blog and it was funny, so i got the book

it's fun, and quite funny, but when someone moves from blog form to a published book, i expect the text to be more polished and streamlined.

instead, this book reads like it comes directly from her blog with no editing, clearly there was an editor since she quotes the editor in the text, but it still doesn't read like there was one.

anyway, it's worth a glanc...more
oriana
I don't like David Sedaris. And I distrust "funny" books the same way I distrust sitcoms with laugh-tracks, because it's condescending and discourages thinking for yourself. I will not be coaxed into mindlessly laughing because there is a recorded track of a bunch of people (computers? robots?) mindlessly laughing. Good grief.

So why did I buy this book? Well, because the Strand sells proofs for $2. I found this one, which I'd never heard of, thought it had a cool title, and then saw that the fro...more
Bry
FUCKING BRILLIANT.

Like seriously...fucking.brilliant.

And hilarious. Like I nearly choked on a sandwich while eating my lunch at work hilarious.

This book is the "mostly true" memoir of Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess who was a poor kid raised in West Texas with poisoned drinking water, a father who practices taxidermy in the backyard and collects bobcat urine, a younger sister who swam with her in a cistern that they shared with pigs, a mom that wrangled them all into a family, and a menagerie of...more
Flannery
May 30, 2012 Flannery rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: People who like David Sedaris but wish he was raunchier, and Texan, and female.
Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) is a collection of stories from the life of Jenny Lawson, who is also known as The Bloggess on her blog of the same name. I was somewhat familiar with Lawson from reading bits of her often irreverent blog posts and laughing my ass off. She talks about a whole range of topics from childbirth all the way to squirrel puppets. Anyone who knows me knows that I love a good story. I love telling them and I especially love hearing them. The more a...more
Becky
This is the perfect book to read if you’re constipated, because the abdominal spasms caused by your hysterical laughter will have to create a bowel movement.

This is also only the second book that has ever made me vomit. The first book was a History of Cannibalism. To be fair I was running on the elliptical, already a task for me, and I was doing fine until I flipped the page and there was a picture of HUMAN ARMS HANGING OVER A FIRE. I this point I gagged, and my gag reflux is such that I keep ga...more
Carol. [All cynic, all the time]
Feb 23, 2013 Carol. [All cynic, all the time] rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: people who love odd humor and can tolerate swearing
Recommended to Carol. [All cynic, all the time] by: while it was on my to-read, I confess Trudi's description made me bump it up

Oh, Jenny.

There is something so completely...

extravagant [ik-strav-uh-guhnt]
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: exceeding the bounds of reason, as actions, demands, opinions, or passions.
Synonyms: absurd, bizarre, crazy, exaggerated, excessive, exorbitant, extreme, fanciful, fantastic, flamboyant, flashy, foolish, grandiose, immoderate, implausible, improvident, imprudent, inordinate, lavish, ludicrous, nonsensical, ornate, outrageous, preposterous, pretentious, prodigal, profligate, reckless,...more
Maria Guzman
Apr 26, 2012 Maria Guzman rated it 1 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: no one
I think there might be something wrong with my sense of humor. I tried to read this book but it's not making me laugh. In fact, it's making me annoyed. It reminds me of a whiny nagger who is all about "me". Oh right, it's a memoir. Anyway, I jumped to some of the chapters to see if I missed anything funny but it was all the same. I'm giving away my copy in the hope that someone may find it funny and not completely waste the tree that this book was printed on.
Ashley
I pre-ordered this book at Amazon as soon as I heard about it. I've been reading The Bloggess for years, watched her struggle with her rheumatoid arthritis, her social anxiety, and her depression, all the while being one of the most joyful and optimistic presences on the internet. I was happy for her on a personal level that I rarely am when bloggers get book deals, and besides my real affection for her, I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that Let's Pretend This Never Happened isn't rea...more
Erica
YOU: "Wait. Erica? You just read this book."
ME: "Yes. I did." (Here's the review)
YOU: "No, but I mean you JUST read this book. Like, two weeks ago."
ME: "Wow! You're pretty observant. Why are you watching my Goodreads feed? You know, just out of curiosity...one stalker to another. That kinda thing."
YOU: "What? You are SO weird. I wanted to know why you're listening to the audiobook if you just read the hardcover."
ME: "You probably should have asked me that in the first place instead of stating an...more
Josie
When Jenny Lawson relates a childhood story she's funny and engaging...but so far, that's only occurred for about 10% of her writing in this book. The other 90% I've read is just terrible. The parenthetical ramblings and anxious Turrets-style outbursts quickly get old, and they distract from some of the really funny and entertaining bits. Everything is "totally" or "basically" life-threatening or she's stabbing or kicking someone in the balls "in her head." Her nervous, panicky breakdowns feel l...more
Melki
Yeah...I thought I had it weird growing up. Besides being the daughter of an atheist father and a religious nut-job mother, Mom was also what the humane society likes to call a "collector." (This is a polite way of saying "animal hoarder.") At any given time, we had a dozen dogs and cats (and I mean a dozen of EACH, not total!) living in the house. For years, I used the toilet with my mother's pet possum sleeping right beside me.

Jenny Lawson had it worse than me, however. At least the animals i...more
Laura the Highland Hussy
Review Posted at Got Fiction and also at demon lover's books and more


4.5 stars

Ever since I saw Beyonce the Giant Metal Chicken pop up in my twitter feed, I have been hooked on the Bloggess’ special brand of humor. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life as I did when reading about Beyonce. So you can imagine my joy when I received Let's Pretend This Never Happened: in the mail.

I know that I pretty much only review romance, but this book is so much more than just “A Mostly True Memoir...more
Caris
Growing up, my parents had an affinity for the exotic and grotesque. Our yard was always stocked with some bizarre assortment of animals, from cattle to emus to peacocks. Whatever was being given away in the paper would eventually find its way to our house. My dad also liked to kill these things and feed them to us, because it’s fun? I don’t know. But our house was always filled with carcasses and dead things. The pot of simmering liquid on the stove was just as likely to be concealing a coyote...more
Sarah
Really, instead of a written review, this should just be video of me laughing so hard while reading this at lunch that I started laugh-sobbing, much to the amusement of those around me. And I was only on chapter three - the chapter that involves, so help me god, a dead squirrel hand-puppet. If you've read Jenny Lawson (aka The Bloggess) before, I don't have to tell you she is absolutely hysterically funny. If you haven't, then, prepare yourself for one hell of a ride through her demented carniva...more
rhea
Sep 11, 2013 rhea rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to rhea by: Nick Kives
I knew I was going to like this book before really starting it:

description

I loved this book, sure it seemed like rambling, but it made me feel like she was talking to me and not so much like I was reading. Which was interesting and couldn't work for all books.

I don't think this is for everyone, there are some graphic descriptions, but she writes most of them humorously. Only once was there a serious chapter where I'm glad she left it at that and didn't try to make it funny. Most of the crying I was doing...more
Lisa
Written by my favorite blogger, this memoir is a glimpse into her bizarre life. The things she's lived through are so weird they can't be true, yet they are. And they're all the more funnier when chronicled by her brilliantly funny mind. There are gaps in the telling (I would have liked more!), but Jenny Lawson's overarching purview of why she is who she is, and how she grew to appreciate it is worth the read. I laughed out loud many times and lost track of how often I wished to live near her so...more
Mrs. McGregor
This is the first book in which I've ever read the WHOLE introduction, epilogue, author bio and even the pull quotes on the back cover. Because as I knew from reading her blog, Jenny Lawson's wicked humor is addictive. You want to devour any morsel she throws at you. I am grateful for Lawson's weird, awkward, hilarious and poignant take on the duality of her country and city lives. I love the arc of Lawson's growth into a person who found the people she can trust to lean on for a laugh, some rea...more
Deb (Readerbuzz) Nance
This book arrived in the mail the other day. Great title. Great cover. I couldn't wait to read it.

Then I turned the book over and started reading the back.

And that was as far as I got.

Forgive me, but I cannot read this book. If my dad saw me reading this book, he'd wash my mouth out with soap. My mom would have put me in the corner and grounded me for a month. I have friends who would have had a public burning of this book.

I'm afraid it's not a book for me. I'm not really a modern girl who...more
Jennie
If Amy Sedaris and David Cross grew up in West Texas, had babies in the 1970s, and one of these children survived the blood and fire of a psychotic childhood, then she would have a voice like Jenny Lawson's. Give someone a dirt floor, exposure to radon, and too many encounters with mean-as-spit animals, and you have Crazy with a capital K. But Lawson is crazy in a "survive and thrive" kind of way. It takes more than garden variety crazy to have learned an important life lesson from an assassin t...more
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Bookworm Bitches : July 2012: Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir 49 341 Jul 25, 2014 04:14PM  
Boring!! 28 392 Jul 07, 2014 05:45PM  
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Known for her sardonic wit and her hysterically skewed outlook on life, Jenny Lawson has made millions of people question their own sanity, as they found themselves admitting that they, too, often wondered why Jesus wasn't classified as a zombie, or laughed to the point of bladder failure when she accidentally forgot that she mailed herself a cobra. Her blog (www.thebloggess.com) is award-winning...more
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“Because you are defined not by life's imperfect moments, but by your reaction to them. And because there is joy in embracing - rather than running from - the utter absurdity of life.” 151 likes
“You should just accept who you are, flaws and all, because if you try to be someone you aren't, then eventually some turkey is going to shit all over your well-crafted facade, so you might as well save yourself the effort and enjoy your zombie books.” 121 likes
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