You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?! A Self-Help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder
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You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?! A Self-Help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder

3.92 of 5 stars 3.92  ·  rating details  ·  749 ratings  ·  61 reviews
There is much literature about children with Attention Deficit Disorder. This work focuses on the experience of adults with the disorder, combining practical information and moral support. It explains the diagnostic process and distinguishes ADD symptions from normal lapses in memory, lack of concentrations, and impulse behaviour, and addresses: how to achieve balance by a...more
Paperback, 444 pages
Published January 1st 1996 by Simon & Schuster (first published 1993)
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Emma Sea
Well, who knows if I have ADD or not, but certainly the strategies I have in place so I can cope with life are exactly the same strategies the authors recommend for ADD. (Except meditation. I read a lot of books that suggest meditation, and I'm so resistant to the idea and I do not know why.)

But to some extent aren't these just strategies that all adults use to get stuff done and keep sane? SCHEDULE! Time track. Use notebooks to record everything (Evernote is the greatest invention in the world)...more
Michael Alexander
Kind of ironically, I'm going to call this one too scattered. I get that when they started, this was a work by not-so-professionals trying to get the word out when zero other material existed on the market, so they tried to cover absolutely everything.

However: SO many anecdotes thrown in for a paragraph at a time and then referred to 300 pages later, so many that you kind of lose track of anything so many different types of "ADDers" are actually supposed to have in common with each other. So man...more
James Oliver
It's the first book I read on ADD so I guess the initial favourable impression was just a kind of 'ah, at last I am not alone' kind of recognition. However, I've liked it less as time passes. It is badly organised and set out with far too many exclamation marks and EMPHASIS!!! It's a real 'victim' book.

One thing that is good is that it outlines the various 'sub-types' of ADDers - ADD symptoms manifest themselves in different kinds of behaviours among different types of people. It's not just cra...more
Michele Harrod
Thanks. This is all I can say to these authors. Talk about pick a book up, and suddenly understand your whole life. And yes, I did think that, and yes, I have since been tested ADHD positive, at my ripe old age of 44. Never even knew such a thing existed in Adults. The discovery and the journey of self understanding, forgiveness and learning new ways to live, have been utterly life changing and amazing. Wow, I really wasn't lazy, crazy or stupid! Very cool.
Kilian
This book pretty much turned my life around, although I'm still lazy, crazy and stupid and a friggin' loser. A counselor suggested I might have ADD, and instantly, a light bulb went on. Of course I had ADD! It explained so much! And then I turned to this book, which helped me understand what ADD is. For instance, I thought that having ADD meant that you just had problems paying attention, but the authors show that its effects go much deeper than that. The authors talk about the common problems f...more
Adrienne Campbell
It's been 19 years since I read this book but I know it helped me understand who I am and how my brain works. It was wonderful to read a book that made sense to me. I could totally relate! When you've spent most of your life either being told or believing you are lazy, crazy or stupid...it's a wonderful relief to know you are not alone. And no, I'm not Lazy, Crazy, or Stupid!
Pamela
Finally, I'm not alone. For years I thought I was crazy. I thought if I tell anyone what its like inside my head, surely they'll have me committed. So I kept quiet. It wasn't until my kids were diagnosed with ADHD and my daughter explained to me what its like in her head, that I realized I had ADD. I still wasn't sure what that meant, so I went looking for books. The title of this one immediately caught my attention, but I was sure the information contained inside couldn't possibly live up to th...more
Pharrisbrown
Overall, I think this is a valuable resource for people trying to understand how either they or someone they love can be so many contradictory things at once. Scattered, but then hyperfocused on a new passion. How an intelligent person can be brillant in one moment, then unable to collect his/her thoughts enough to figure out what to make for dinner.

As a professional, I recommend the book, although different people respond better than others. Some can soar through it, amazed by the insights int...more
Diane
OMG! This is the BEST book ever for anyone with ADD/ADHD! And especially for those with ADD who have been reading self-help books for years, attempting to improve themselves.

The authors cover everything associated with this disorder and give practical advice on dealing with everyday life; i.e. organization, sexual functioning, medication interactions, memory training, etc.

Even if you are not personally affected with the disorder, you probably know a loved one or a friend who is and it will cer...more
Matthew MacKay
Jan 20, 2011 Matthew MacKay rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: People with ADD/ADHD
For someone who recently self-diagnosed themselves with the condition, the book has been nothing short of miraculous. The relatibilty to the characters exemplified so well in the book, the easy to understand breakdown of the strengths and weaknesses (pitfalls) of the condition, and the numerous suggestions the book gives for solutions to problems the ADDer has in life, make this book one of my favorites—if not, my favorite. If you have ADD/ADHD, or believe you do, I HIGHLY recommend you read thi...more
Crazy Uncle Ryan
I really found this book to be helpful. This book taught me a lot about ADD and I found out that much of what I had been told about the condition when I was first diagnosed as a kid had been proven wrong. I also liked the simple, practical advice it provided.
Chloe
Jun 12, 2011 Chloe rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Chloe by: Jeff from jewelry design
recommended to me by a guy in one of my classes. A lot of it is really what I'd describe as mumboey, however it was definitely a worthwhile read for me because it gave me perspective into other things that are typical of ADD which I had attributed to other unrelated things, so I feel more grounded in where some of my other issues stem from which gives me a better place to work on coping mechanisms to address them myself. I'd recommend if you think you might have ADD/ADHD, have it or know someone...more
Michele Cacano
This book is known as The Bible of Adult ADD. First published in the early '90's, this version has been updated to include new findings on AADD behavior, treatments, and medicine. It was very helpful in understanding both the disorder and the place it has in our culture. Some parts were less relevant to me, so I scanned through more quickly, but the authors even suggest that the reader read the book any way they see fit - cover to cover (like me) or jumping around from chapter to chapter as more...more
Marcus
Best of the Best. 20 STARS. JUST GET IT. DO NOT PASS GO DON'T BOTHER COLLECTING. JUST GET IT.
Diana
Awesome book, especially for those with ADD/ADHD and their families. I read the 1st edition in 1994 right after I was diagnosed with ADHD. I decided to read the new edition to refresh my knowledge of what it's like to be me. I also wanted to learn (or relearn) new strategies to deal with my unusual behaviors. These authors are straight forward, knowledgable, and humorous. If you know or suspect you have, or just know someone who does, this is a must read. You won't regret it!
Vanessa
One of the best books I have ever read on ADD. This made a lot of things regarding my ADD so much clearer. It is written by authors who also have ADD and it is easy to read. You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?! : A Self-Help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder.
Ariane
Nov 28, 2008 Ariane rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: anyone who is dealing with ADD in themselves or others.
The most helpful things about this book were the extensive case studies and examples of people and how ADD affected their lives in many different ways. I think also the drug sections and therapy possibilities were interesting and brief. However, the book could have benefited from some serious editing. And the strategies to help ADDers with organization and other areas where they need help were not well organized or nearly extensive enough.
Bart Breen
Reassuring, Empowering and Helpful

I've discovered that as far as ADD'ers go, I are one.

This book (I listened to the cassette) is entertaining, enlightening and very helpful both to the person afflicted as well as those affected by their behavior and idiosyncracies.

I found it very helpful to listen to and I plan to relisten to it and perhaps ask others to listen to it as time goes on. Excellent introduction to the subject.
Crystal
This book was truly an epiphany for me! A fantastic description of so many instances from my childhood, and the many coping skills that I've developed. I truly thought of myself exactly as the title. This was so helpful in describing circumstances that might cause me trouble, and how to successfully navigate through them. I also gave me some well needed answers to some of the past "disasters" that I had found myself in, and why.
Lisa
This is the first book I ever read about ADHD; frankly because I identified so strongly with the title. I will ever be grateful to the wonderful women who wrote this book. There are a myriad of ADD books now out specifically about ADHD and adults, but these ladies were the pioneers - willing to take the time and write on this subject before there was much information out there.
Colleen
I meticulously skimmed this book in the course of two hours while I was in crisis mode one night. As a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD-C in young adulthood, it made me feel worse and better at the same time. This book seems to be aimed more at middle-aged folks who've finally been diagnosed. Overall, it isn't a bad book, but I don't think I'm in the target audience.
Martine
Any adult who wonders if they are ADD will appreciate this book. The writers provide information, resources and lots of humor as they educate us on Attention Deficit Disorder and provide moral support to those of us who need it. Also includes advice on improving memory, the power of meditation, coaching, and using therapy and/or medication.
Aaron Dev
Humorous, fun and above all extremely well written. It conveys its material in the most accessible and easy-to-pickup form that I've come across for this field. While its size can be intimidating, its fluidity masterfully overcomes this facile judgement. Perhaps even is better than the Halowell books, which are considered landmark.
Tacey
Blah, blah, blah...
It was good to see the book explaining "I messages."
Applaud the way authors wrote about ADD girls' sexusl pasts.
This almost reads like a joke: "what do ADDers hate but need desperately? Structure.
I connected to the section about parenting and am happy bro see the authors echoe Love and Logic beliefs.
Lashanda
I've learned a lot from reading this book that dispelled many stereotypes that I had before of this disorder. It's written in a conversational tone and very easy to read and although it's a bit garden variety when it comes to the topics it covers, overall it's a great introduction to learning about adult ADD.
James Hays
It's not the sort of book I can start at page 1 and read through to the end. This is a good thing, because I can't really concentrate that well to begin with, so it's a good book to sort of browse and then put down (with perhaps a bookmark) when your concentration runs out.
Very informative.
Shareen Wornson
I was diagnosed with ADD about 2 weeks ago and am trying to learn all I can. I have the originally published book from the early 1990's, but it's very well written for the layperson. I'm not sure if I identify with all the ADD people, but I am learning some good things.
Lexica
This book did not work for me - the examples given really did not reflect my experience, to the extent that I found it difficult to "take what's useful and leave the rest". I did not finish the book and would recommend Driven to Distraction as far more relevant and useful.
Aleksandr
Apr 22, 2013 Aleksandr rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Aleksandr by: Toby Goldstein
Shelves: abandoned
I do not think this is a bad or sub-standard book, not by far. But as the book notes, it is written for those with, well, an attention deficit, and the length of it strikes me as wholly inconsistent with that, even despite its early chapters.
Catten
Nov 22, 2009 Catten is currently reading it
So far, I really appreciate that someone has identified that all my quirky habits and apparent limitations are actually due to ADD. Some of the coping tactics the author recommends are impractical for a working adult, but I'm not finished yet.
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Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name.

Kate Kelly is a clinical specialist in psychiatric nursing who leads therapy groups for ADDults. She lectures widely and is a featured presenter at most major ADD conferences. (from Amazon.com)
More about Kate Kelly...
The ADDed Dimension: Everyday Advice For Adults With Add What Color is Your Toothbrush?, Or, The Joys of Roommate Living Women with Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life

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“The Procrastinator has the opposite problem. He can’t selectively focus his attention and might endure frequent accusations about his laziness. In truth, he’s so distracted by stimuli that he can’t figure out where or how to get started. Sounds, smells, sights and the random wanderings of his thoughts continually vie for his attention.” 0 likes
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