The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronicall...
A groundbreaking approach to understanding and parenting children who frequently exhibit severe fits of temper and other intractable behaviours,... read full description
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Apr 15, 2009
Beka
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This book was very helpful to me, as I do have a child who is a tad on the explosive/inflexible side. However, I think this book may have helped me more than him directly. It helped me see that my expectations are too high, and that re-focusing my priorities is helping him deal with life in a much healthier way. It made me think in more in terms of compromise instead of "my way or the highway". He is responding very well to this because he now feels like he has more control over his d
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Feb 26, 2009
sarah
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This book is a revelation for parents frustrated, frightened, confused by their child's unusually challenging behavior. It presents a framework for dealing with their behavior and finding a way to teach children *how* to behave appropriately, and to stop believing they don't *want* to do well ("kids do well if they can"). The book rejects many popular diagnoses -- like oppositional-defiant disorder, ADHD, and the like -- as being beside the point.
This book is not, however, More...
This book is not, however, More...
Dec 13, 2008
Katy
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This book gave me a lot to think about. The author takes on the task of dealing with children who explode -- who get unreasonably angry over seemingly minor things. He says the usual advice is to follow more strictly a system of consequences for bad behavior and rewards for good behavior. He disagrees with that and says there are children for whom that just doesn't work. He gives another way of talking children through their anger and coming to a mutually satisfying solution. I learned a lo
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Nov 28, 2011
Tina
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Jag har nyss läst boken och jag är helt salig. Den förklarar så mycket av det vi har gått/går igenom. Den ger bekräftelse och handfast hjälp. Perfekt vore det för föräldrar att få den träning som föräldrar får i boken avseende förhållningssätt till sina barn. Det som framförallt hjälpt mig är följande:
Jag får exempel beskrivna som inte helt stämmer med vad jag varit med om men där tydliga paralleller kan dras. Jag gillade först inte det första kapitlet och slutade därför läsa, jag bö More...
Jag får exempel beskrivna som inte helt stämmer med vad jag varit med om men där tydliga paralleller kan dras. Jag gillade först inte det första kapitlet och slutade därför läsa, jag bö More...
Jul 30, 2011
Allyson
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Absolutely essential for any parent or teacher of a truly 'explosive child.' And 'almost absolutely essential' for any parent or teacher. This book doesn't just share some new ideas on discipline -- the author, a pediatric psychologist who teaches at Harvard Medical School, explains WHY meltdowns and 'explosions' occur. As with anything, the more we can understand about "why," the better we can figure out "how" to deal with the situation and what can actually help. I just
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Apr 08, 2011
Anastasia
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Wouldn't it be nice if when our kids explode they explode with rainbows and sparkles? It would be a mess to clean up but a vast improvement. Lately it seems like our life is smack dab in the middle of a fault line. It's a four year old one. Sweet Pea has always been very sensitive and has had a few meltdowns. But for the past six months, about the time she started preschool it's been an every day thing. Sometimes it's little meltdowns and it's easy to get her out of it. But too often it's a scre
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Mar 26, 2010
Ken
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This book was a necessity and was rather helpful. Imagine a normal, intelligent child who is able to focus for the most part, but in certain instances explodes suddenly into a rage over trivial things. The Explosive Child tells the story of such children and gives explanations of how to deal with such children, why they may act in such a way, and how to recognize and prevent such occurrences before they get out of control.
While you may think, "Oh no, another disorder to labe More...
While you may think, "Oh no, another disorder to labe More...
Nov 20, 2009
Julie
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I think this book holds sound parenting advice for any parent, not just those blessed with what Greene calls "explosive children." The gist of it is: 1) Empathy and Reassurance, 2) Define the problem, and 3) Invitation. Personally, I thought #2 was the most interesting. Greene points out that often times parents think they know what the problem is, but they are totally wrong. For example, your child has a temper tantrum because she wants to wear the yellow dress which is in the la
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Aug 06, 2009
Kim
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I loved the philosophy of this author, that children do well if they can. He helped me understand some of the challenging behaviors Robbie sometimes has and how to deal with them. He said to first figure out what some of the things are that trigger an explosion. For Robbie that might be a sibling taking a toy away from him, turning the TV off to do homework, etc. Then he described plan A, C, and B for dealing with the explosion. A is insisting on your way. C is dropping the expectation ent
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Jun 04, 2010
Olga
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This book is addressed to parents of children who are easily irritated and frustrated. These children are often punished for their explosions. But extra punishment seems no to improve their behavior. So, dealing with these kids is hard for their parents, siblings and teachers.
The author's idea is that explosive children have development delay in some important kills, such as flexibility, frustration tolerance and problem solving. These skills can be taught. There's a method which can More...
The author's idea is that explosive children have development delay in some important kills, such as flexibility, frustration tolerance and problem solving. These skills can be taught. There's a method which can More...
Apr 04, 2009
Catrina
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I think this book really drilled home the point that conventional discipline does not work (and can actually be counterproductive) for explosive children, and the importance of teaching them skills to adaptively handle their frustrations (as opposed to trying to teach them through consequence). The book is definitely geared more for families with older children who can communicate their feelings, but as a mother of toddlers, the real-life examples depicted in this book made me realize how import
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Nov 19, 2009
Sara
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Someone asked why I chose this book over the many others out there on this subject.
1. it deals directly with the brain and its pathways - there is actually some scientific basis for the theories behind this book
2. it treats the children (and parents) with a great deal of compassion and respect. The solutions have to do with understand our child and coaching them to grow the missing pathways rather than manage, rewarding or punishing (which I know from experience just do not work wi More...
1. it deals directly with the brain and its pathways - there is actually some scientific basis for the theories behind this book
2. it treats the children (and parents) with a great deal of compassion and respect. The solutions have to do with understand our child and coaching them to grow the missing pathways rather than manage, rewarding or punishing (which I know from experience just do not work wi More...
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May 05, 2009
Chrystal
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This book can be applied to almost anyone. I think the author originally wrote it with severely challenged children in mind - those who may have bi-polar, OCD, oppositional-defiant-disorder etc. My daughter does not struggle with any of these disorders, but she does struggle with frustration tolerance and tends to be explosive and inflexible; she is easily frustrated and has difficulty shifting gears.
I appreciated the paradigm shift this book offers that taught me to focus on ways More...
I appreciated the paradigm shift this book offers that taught me to focus on ways More...
Dec 02, 2010
Melissa
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Overall, this was a worthwhile read for me.
At the time I read it, my child was ~3.5 and I didn't feel many of the examples pertained to such a young child. The book's central theme suggested course of action for building your child's problem solving abilities. I believe that the premise was a good one and I adapted this concept to fit our child and have had some success with this approach. I have not yet found a book that has all of the answers, but this one provides an additional More...
At the time I read it, my child was ~3.5 and I didn't feel many of the examples pertained to such a young child. The book's central theme suggested course of action for building your child's problem solving abilities. I believe that the premise was a good one and I adapted this concept to fit our child and have had some success with this approach. I have not yet found a book that has all of the answers, but this one provides an additional More...
Aug 24, 2011
Kara
rated it:
3.5
this is a good book for any parent- whether you have an explosive child or not. another tool in your parenting bag and also would be good for teachers. I think it takes an insightful or talented person to look at life from the perspective of a child/adolescent and have their thoughts translate into something an adult can understand/deal with better. Heck, i can't even articulate my OWN thoughts to other people.
it also makes me feel better as a parent that my chi More...
this is a good book for any parent- whether you have an explosive child or not. another tool in your parenting bag and also would be good for teachers. I think it takes an insightful or talented person to look at life from the perspective of a child/adolescent and have their thoughts translate into something an adult can understand/deal with better. Heck, i can't even articulate my OWN thoughts to other people.
it also makes me feel better as a parent that my chi More...
Nov 03, 2007
JoAnn
rated it:
This is a must-read book for parents of hard-to-handle kids. It outlines a practical solution to conflicts -- "the three baskets" and shows how to apply this method for more peace and domestic tranquility.
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Apr 14, 2010
Angela
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Really, really interesting book.
Like Parenting with Grace, and Easy to Love, the focus is on teaching methods of discipline and not punitive ones.
Very practical, with a great problem-solving bent. I have learned to get two concerns on the table (my daughters and mine), and brainstorm solutions together. It has amazed me how my daughter (at times explosive) can think about my concerns and come up with solutions that take those into account!
A must-read for all famil More...
Like Parenting with Grace, and Easy to Love, the focus is on teaching methods of discipline and not punitive ones.
Very practical, with a great problem-solving bent. I have learned to get two concerns on the table (my daughters and mine), and brainstorm solutions together. It has amazed me how my daughter (at times explosive) can think about my concerns and come up with solutions that take those into account!
A must-read for all famil More...
May 09, 2008
Nathan
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Good book. Nothing new to me but great strategies for parents and teachers working with explosive children.
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Apr 19, 2011
Apzmarshl
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Originally I bought this to help with one of my kiddos that showed a lot of frustration when he was overwhelmed. I ended up seeing a lot of myself as a child.
After reading this I feel bad for all of the kids out there that will never have a parent or caretaker read this book.
There is a lot of helpful dialog and examples to guide you. The idea of you and your child coming together with concerns and both of you finding durable solutions instead of "DO WHAT I SAID OR HIT THE RO More...
After reading this I feel bad for all of the kids out there that will never have a parent or caretaker read this book.
There is a lot of helpful dialog and examples to guide you. The idea of you and your child coming together with concerns and both of you finding durable solutions instead of "DO WHAT I SAID OR HIT THE RO More...
Apr 27, 2011
Sherry
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The Spawn's counselor gave me this book to read almost a year ago. I'll be honest, I skimmed it a few times, using bits and pieces when it was convenient for me. Now that I've actually read the book in its entirety, I'm a huge fan. Because of the bits and pieces method I was using with my son before, I was skeptical if this book really had anything that could help me. Wrong! The first few chapters were a little rough to read, mostly due to the format and my personal skepticism, but once I got in
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Sep 17, 2011
Sujata
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I am a junkie for parenting books--and this one is by far the most revolutionary, and also, hope-building, that I've read. Dr. Greene advocates
looking at children's behavioral problems as rooted in development delays; and parents can't expect kids to be able to handle frustrations as skillfully as we do, if they are hampered by their delays. The tips for creating user-friendly environments for peaceful family life and prioritizing hot button issues are easy to remember and implement and ha More...
looking at children's behavioral problems as rooted in development delays; and parents can't expect kids to be able to handle frustrations as skillfully as we do, if they are hampered by their delays. The tips for creating user-friendly environments for peaceful family life and prioritizing hot button issues are easy to remember and implement and ha More...
Nov 04, 2009
Rachael
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I changed my mind - not so amazing. The beginning was insightful and promising, but the whole book felt like more of the same. And as I started trying to apply the principles, I realized that Carver still has a lot of logical thought in his meltdowns and there was no way he was going to communicate any sort of warning before freaking out. That's the WHOLE problem!! The explosive children in this book have great verbal skills to be able to talk about their feelings and that's a pretty hefty p
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Jan 11, 2010
Kris
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Reading this book was a little like watching "Supernanny": thank goodness my kid isn't THAT bad!
I wouldn't describe my child as explosive (although his teacher might) but he certainly has a low frustration tolerance and a tendency to shut down instead of being able to figure out what is wrong. This book has good advice about understanding your child's problems and working with your child to improve his or her behavior. I hope this book will help me deal with some of my child More...
I wouldn't describe my child as explosive (although his teacher might) but he certainly has a low frustration tolerance and a tendency to shut down instead of being able to figure out what is wrong. This book has good advice about understanding your child's problems and working with your child to improve his or her behavior. I hope this book will help me deal with some of my child More...
Nov 05, 2011
Rochelle
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My favorite quote to date?
Regarding anxiety: "This combination of anxiety and irrationality causes some children (the lucky ones) to cry. But a substantial number of them (the unlucky ones) explode. (The cryers are the lucky ones because we adults tend to take things far less personally and respond far more empathetically to children who cry than we do to children who explode, even though the two behaviors often emanate from the same source.)
You mean, the fact that More...
Regarding anxiety: "This combination of anxiety and irrationality causes some children (the lucky ones) to cry. But a substantial number of them (the unlucky ones) explode. (The cryers are the lucky ones because we adults tend to take things far less personally and respond far more empathetically to children who cry than we do to children who explode, even though the two behaviors often emanate from the same source.)
You mean, the fact that More...
Dec 22, 2011
Jeanine Marie
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Getting to a new level of understanding and action, Dr. Ross Greene presents some new solutions for any parent that struggles with the a child that is lacking in skills to manage difficult feelings like anger or frustration or who lags in problem-solving abilities. As adults, many of us do not recall learning the fundamental steps in intrapersonal or interpersonal interactions, and Dr. Greene breaks them down in step-like fashion to illuminate and instruct. Filled with excellent but nonblaming
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Jan 26, 2011
Jake
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I imagine this book might be helpful to parents who have authoritarian parenting styles, But for attachment parents who already use gentle discipline, much of this book is old news. You are likely going to explain to your child why you wish for them to do something. You are likely not barking orders.
A significant failing of this book is its lack of discussion of sensory issues and why a child might be behaving explosively. This is a behavior management book that I found very disappoint More...
A significant failing of this book is its lack of discussion of sensory issues and why a child might be behaving explosively. This is a behavior management book that I found very disappoint More...
Apr 17, 2011
Robin
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First of all, this is a book for parents with a child (or children) who is easily frustrated and inflexible to the point of frequent "explotion." If you need any further explanation, you WILL NOT be able to relate to the parents in this book and Dr. Greene's method will only sound hokey to you. If you have an O.D.D. child, like I do, you already get what I'm talking about.
I really liked a lot of what Dr. Greene had to say. I think it will help me change my perspective so th More...
I really liked a lot of what Dr. Greene had to say. I think it will help me change my perspective so th More...
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Jun 20, 2011
Chelsea
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My husband and I have recently discovered Kirk Martin and his "Celebrate Calm" approach to parenting. (www.celebratecalm.com) We have found his philosophies and ideas really beneficial in bringing a greater level of peace and civility to our relationships with each other and with our children (and ourselves). However this book offers kind of the "next step" that we felt like we were still lacking. It provides a theory on why some kids are so "explosive." Specifi
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Mar 31, 2008
Lisa
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I'm on my second go-through of this book. I should have read it years before I did. It was trendy. It was aimed at parents. It seemed to be a simple solution to a complex problem. And this guy isn't a researcher, isn't a big name in any circles in my field. So I waited way too long to read it.
But he's brilliant. And he's the balm for those of us who have been out of school for a few years and still think Empirically Supported Treatment (especially for kids) means Cognitive-Beh More...
But he's brilliant. And he's the balm for those of us who have been out of school for a few years and still think Empirically Supported Treatment (especially for kids) means Cognitive-Beh More...
Jan 09, 2008
Lauren
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Clearly this book was written for parents who are so overwhelmed with their misbehaving children, they no longer want to be parents. The author is continously trying to encourage the parents to ENDURE their children, he neglects to encourage us to ENJOY them. As a parent of a high-strung, tempermental child, this book was recommended to me. While a lot of the information applied to my child, the author's approach was so negative that it was hard to apply the princliples. I realize that this
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