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Duke Sucks: A Completely Evenhanded, Unbiased Investigation into the Most Evil Team on Planet Earth

4.11  ·  Rating Details  ·  190 Ratings  ·  29 Reviews
In the ranks of NCAA college basketball, Duke University is like something scraped off the bottom of a shoe. It's like a nasty virus you catch from a door handle at a public toilet.

No team in sports is as uniquely hated as those smug, entitled, floor-slapping, fist-pumping, insufferable Blue Devils. The loathing has almost reached the level of a religion. Christian Laettne
Paperback, 208 pages
Published January 31st 2012 by St. Martin's Griffin
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-29 of 319)
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Jan 04, 2016 Shakeia rated it liked it
Funny. A quick read.

"Hating Duke is never having to say you're sorry." :)
Nov 18, 2014 Becky rated it it was amazing
Some questionable comparisons but I have my blinders on. because foh dook.
Feb 02, 2012 Charlene rated it it was amazing
This book is a must read for all college basketball fans. I laughed out loud in several spots. It's hilarious, informative, and "probably" 100% factual. LOL!
Mar 11, 2012 Bonnie rated it it was amazing
Shelves: non-fiction, 2012
Best. Book. Ever.
Jun 27, 2012 Drew rated it liked it
Shelves: nookbook, humor
It’s true, Duck sucks, and we have this book to prove it. If you hate Duke, which you probably do, you’ll like this book. A bit of sophomoric humor? Yes but it’s a fun book, but at the same time it made me angry reading about all the crap that Duke does, so don’t read this if you’re already in that kind of mood. It was a quick read (I read it on one cross country plane ride) and a bit over priced at $9.99 for a 160 page e-book. I debated 3 or 4 stars. I went with 3 in the end as it was a bit rep ...more
Leanna Henderson
Aug 13, 2013 Leanna Henderson rated it really liked it
Funny. Hating Duke is so much fun. I only wish that I hadn't moved to North Carolina so close to Coach K's inevitable retirement. (Although my husband can't wait for the day.) So glad I got to get in on the fun for the time being! But this book gives me hope that Duke will still suck even after he leaves. Apparently they have always sucked! Yes! I am a good Christian woman, but I have to say "Go to Hell, Duke!!!" Yeah!!! LOL Go Tar Heels!!!
Sally Ann
Mar 27, 2013 Sally Ann rated it really liked it
Book is a good mixture of historical facts (a bit of Disney mixed with the great Oz + 60 million cigarettes= Duke University), basketball statistics (how many erroneous calls has Karl Hess made? How do those "egos" fair in the NBA?), Coaching (the flop), Cameron Crazies (painted face = witness protection?), and media bias (two words- Dick Vital). It was a cold, rainy week and this was my page turning guilty pleasure. It's hilarious!
Jul 05, 2016 C.C. rated it did not like it
Shelves: owned, hard-copy
Man, these Tar Holes must've gotten some great tutors (probably Duke grads) to turn their incoherent babbling into actual English sentences. If you hate Duke, this is the same bullshit arguments you already make about why they suck. If you have two brain cells to rub together, you also know why they're faker than a UNC player's transcript.

Why do people hate Duke? Here are the real reasons:

GTHC and Go Duke!
Jul 02, 2012 Brian rated it really liked it
I won’t write much on this book as this was just for fun, but it was nice that this book was written by two UNC grads. They split the book up into charges against the dook program such as flopping and having a lot of players transfer to other schools. All in all, a fun book and a very quick read. Highly suggest it if you hate dook as much as I do.
Oct 02, 2012 Adrian rated it it was amazing
Outstanding!!!! A must read book for everyone. A thorough and thought provoking analysis of all dook suckitude. My only complaint is that the consistently misspell dook (and always with a small "d").

Just re-read. Truly belongs in the pantheon of great literature.
Brad Caldwell
Dec 31, 2012 Brad Caldwell rated it really liked it
Very funny. My family thinks I was a ghost writer on this book. I was not. But, to be so unashamedly biased, they do show small measures of grace of K's hair & the NCAA Tournament Selection Committee. I enjoyed it.
Mar 05, 2012 Melyssa rated it it was amazing
Greatest book ever written! Seriously, for Tar Heel fans this is a fun read that reinforces our hatred of Duke. Similar to "To Hate Like This is to be Happy Forever," but in an even more tongue-in-cheek style.
Jul 29, 2012 Maryellen rated it really liked it
This was a pretty funny and very fast read. I laughed out loud several times. Of course, these two guys were preaching to the choir; I have been a UNC fan for many, many years and I am proud of it.
Dan Fleischaker
Jul 15, 2012 Dan Fleischaker rated it it was amazing
Fantastic read! Completely unbiased, factual analysis of Dook's suckitude. Loved it!
Jan 07, 2013 Katie rated it really liked it
Shelves: sports
Love it! I actually laughed out loud a number of times while reading this book. GTHD!
Sep 27, 2012 Natalie rated it really liked it
Thought this book was quite funny and had some facts to back up their statements.
Aug 14, 2012 Britney rated it it was amazing
If you are a college basketball fan then you will like this.
Jul 02, 2013 Charlotte rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2013
"The thing about hating Duke is you never have to explain why."
May 10, 2012 William rated it it was amazing

All of what hey write is true.
Dec 29, 2012 Rebecca rated it it was amazing
Best. Book. Ever.
David Barney
Apr 22, 2015 David Barney rated it liked it
Fun book to read. Don't take it too seriously. I did not attend UNC or Duke, yet I understand rivalries. A quick read.
Joe Calder
Jul 31, 2016 Joe Calder rated it liked it
A bit kitschy, sometimes overblown, but mostly really funny and enjoyable
Feb 02, 2014 Sara rated it it was amazing
I've always known that duke sucks a fat one, but now I have actual statistical evidence to back it up.
Annie Evans
Mar 30, 2014 Annie Evans rated it liked it
Hilariously biased.
Mar 23, 2015 Kevin rated it really liked it

(Unless you happen to be a Dookie ...)
Matthew Tessnear
Apr 16, 2016 Matthew Tessnear rated it it was amazing
Fan literature at its finest. An essential piece in the library of an any non-Duke-supporting college athletics buff. The contents offer additional ammunition for a UNC fan already stocked with well-researched examples of the Evil Empire's undeserved reign on college basketball. A must-read for all.
May 03, 2012 Trey rated it liked it
A five-star topic with two-star execution. Basically reads like a polished version of a UNC message board thread.
May 01, 2014 Ko rated it it was amazing
Very funny. Very entertaining for anyone that doesn't like Duke. Good read for college basketball fans.
Michael Finnegan
Mar 21, 2012 Michael Finnegan rated it it was amazing
Greatest book in the history of the world but should have been twice the length and much better written.
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