Don't Put Me In, Coach: My Incredible NCAA Journey from the End of the Bench to the End of the Bench

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Don't Put Me In, Coach: My Incredible NCAA Journey from the End of the Bench to the End of the Bench

3.7 of 5 stars 3.70 · rating details · 825 ratings · 140 reviews

An irreverent, hilarious insider's look at big-time NCAA basketball, through the eyes of the nation's most famous benchwarmer and author of the popular blog ClubTrillion.com (3.6m visits!). Mark Titus holds the Ohio State record for career wins, and made it to the 2007 national championship game. You would think Titus would be all over the highlight reels. You'd be wrong.
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Hardcover, 272 pages

Published March 6th 2012 by Doubleday

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Apr 06, 2013 Allan Colgan added it

Good thing I got this as a library book because otherwise I would have wasted a lot of money on a sophomoric rambling essay that showed a distinct lack of education in the English language as used to write or communicate with other people. If this is the quality of work that Ohio State University approves as acceptable writing for its students, then the world of education is really in a sad state of affairs.

I find his choice of scatological language, his lack of intensity to the sport, his willi...more

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Jan 15, 2013 Pete rated it 2 of 5 stars

As a longtime member of Club Trillion, I read Titus's blog for years, eagerly awaited new posts, and looked forward to the book as soon as it was announced. After tearing through it in the span of twenty-four hours, I rattled off a definitive text to my friends among the "Trillion Man March": "don't waste your time."

There's a lot wrong with "Don't Put Me In, Coach." For one, the bulk of the material will be extremely familiar to fans of the blog, who I imagine comprise most of this book's reader...more As a longtime member of Club Trillion, I read Titus's blog for years, eagerly awaited new posts, and looked forward to the book as soon as it was announced. After tearing through it in the span of twenty-four hours, I rattled off a definitive text to my friends among the "Trillion Man March": "don't waste your time."

There's a lot wrong with "Don't Put Me In, Coach." For one, the bulk of the material will be extremely familiar to fans of the blog, who I imagine comprise most of this book's readership. Really the only significant episode here not touched on in Titus's blog is his tryout with the Harlem Globetrotters, recounted in a dizzying fashion as an appendix. The Shark comes across as extremely bitter following his Globetrotters experience and uses this platform to slam the organization.

Another aspect that makes this book disposable is his exhaustive play-by-play summary of seemingly every game of his four-year tenure at Ohio State. Mark felt inspired to recap even the exhibitions and non-conference blowouts, not to mention each Big 10 and tournament game, making for long, arduous passages. The harsh truth is that, having seen no meaningful game action, Titus's perspective offers little insight into these games beyond what any spectator with a courtside seat could offer. Perhaps more pertinent, with a few years' distance from the events captured in this book, it's clear that, having failed to win a national championship or produce any NBA superstars, these OSU squads are destined to be remembered merely as good Big 10 teams, not at all historically significant in the grand college basketball pantheon as Titus seems to believe.

Most of the anecdotes which Titus finds hilarious will seem hardly noteworthy to anyone with even passing experience on a team setting or familiarity with college hoops. The two longest tales involve a roommate receiving oral sex while Titus slept and a black teammate who gave Titus permission to use the n-word. While I'm sure these were noteworthy at the time, they don't sound like anything that might not happen on any high school or college basketball team.

Mark is a fabulous writer and "Don't Put Me In, Coach" didn't fail to make me laugh a few times. His pop culture references are witty and his voice is unique. However, the shtick gets old. There are no less than three detailed accounts of his experiencing diarrhea during NCAA games, which is at least two and probably three too many.

Every basketball team has three or four guys who occupy the desolate end of the bench. With the exception being that most don't find internet fame through a self-effacing blog, most of their stories are similar to Mark's. While I'm sure his humor and ability to poke fun at himself and teammates were welcome at Buckeyes practices, every squad has benchwarmers who must make peace with the fact that they won't find glory on the court. "Don't Put Me In, Coach" doesn't really follow a story so much as deeply characterize its narrator, but most readers will already be quite familiar.(less)

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Dec 03, 2012 Aimeekay rated it 4 of 5 stars

I’m not a big sports fan and of the few sports I do watch basketball really isn’t even on the list. (*Cringe* Sorry but I’m more of a hockey girl) That being said I wasn’t sure if I’d like it at first or not. But I do have to say Don’t Put Me In, Coach turned out to be an interesting book. In short it is a memoir of his rise to bench sitting stardom and how he turned his minor status on his team into Club Trillion, thereby giving hope to the average Joe everywhere.
Mark Titus’s humor is very sar...more I’m not a big sports fan and of the few sports I do watch basketball really isn’t even on the list. (*Cringe* Sorry but I’m more of a hockey girl) That being said I wasn’t sure if I’d like it at first or not. But I do have to say Don’t Put Me In, Coach turned out to be an interesting book. In short it is a memoir of his rise to bench sitting stardom and how he turned his minor status on his team into Club Trillion, thereby giving hope to the average Joe everywhere.
Mark Titus’s humor is very sarcastic. It seems he doesn’t care which of his former teammates he exposes or throws under the bus in his sordid tale of how he became the #1 bench warmer, but underneath you get the impression that even his joking is all in good fun and he and his ex-teammates probably have a much better relationship then he implies.
Of course I could be horribly wrong and he could just be an egomaniacal, name dropping ass. *shrug*
Meh. Doesn’t really matter to me either way. The book itself is fascinating and funny. His humor as I said before is sarcastic and sharp, it also might not be appropriate for those easily offended.
As for the basketball aspect of it…honestly I thought that was going to be a deal breaker for me on this one. I repeat I am not a big sports fan. I do have my ‘teams’ that I am loyal to…but it’s mainly in name only…I one of those who only watches the super bowl for the commercials. But even when Titus get’s into the more technical points of the game and the season itself I didn’t find myself phasing out or skipping ahead. While I’m sure I didn’t grasp all the finer details, I did understand what he was saying and the occasional (who am I kidding constant is more like it) quips that he would throw in throughout his explanations kept it from getting mired in technicality.
Overall I think this is a good book. It’s funny. Especially with the holiday season approaching I think it would make a great present or stocking stuffer for the basketball, sports, or Mark Titus fan on your list.

****In compliance with FTC guidelines, I'm disclosing that I received this book for free through GoodReads First Reads. ****
(I recommend everybody should go check out all the awesome first read giveaways they have!)(less)

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Jun 25, 2012 Alan rated it 2 of 5 stars

First of all, I know that anytime a reviewer posts a review on a book that they didn't finish they get slammed...mainly by other reviewers. With that said, here we go...

Mark Titus is smart, funny, and edgy (maybe too edgy?)...

"Don't Put Me In, Coach" is written by Mark Titus, a walk-on player who sat the bench 99.9% of the time during his 4-year NCAA Div I basketball career at Ohio State University. This book has received some buzz in stories on NPR and other media outlets, so when I had a chanc...more First of all, I know that anytime a reviewer posts a review on a book that they didn't finish they get slammed...mainly by other reviewers. With that said, here we go...

Mark Titus is smart, funny, and edgy (maybe too edgy?)...

"Don't Put Me In, Coach" is written by Mark Titus, a walk-on player who sat the bench 99.9% of the time during his 4-year NCAA Div I basketball career at Ohio State University. This book has received some buzz in stories on NPR and other media outlets, so when I had a chance to pick up a copy and give it a look I thought, "Why not?"

Titus is, make no mistake, a good writer. He tells a story well, and he knows how to grab an audience and hang onto it.

In the book "Don't Be Such a Scientist: Talking Substance in an Age of Style" by Randy Olson, scientist turned filmmaker, he states that there are four organs of mass communication: head, heart, gut, and sex appeal that you can used to connect with an audience.

OK, back to Titus and his book. He starts out mainly with heart and gut, but soon moves his narrative to the level mainly of sex appeal. Titus is, make no mistake, a good basketball player, you just don't make it to the bench of OSU without that, but at the same time, his main role on the team was court jester and clown. Apparently the coach not only allowed, but encouraged highly unorthodox behavior from Titus because it kept the rest of the team loose. And so, Titus ran with it! He ran as far and as fast as he could with it. As a result you are barraged with story after story of sophomoric humor and antics.

Titus tells a story well, but, as the product description states, it's irreverent - highly irreverent. His accounts and stories are laced with sexual antics and references to the lower organs. I made it to p. 66 before I had just had enough. There are too many books and too little time to wade through this kind of thing. I mean, when the account devolved to Titus telling in detail how and why he attached nerf gun suction-tipped darts to his privates, that was the straw that ended it for me.

In all fairness I did skip to other sections of the book, including the last chapter, to see if this level of thinking continued, and yep, that's what you get all the way through.

It's no wonder that Titus developed a huge following for his blog - the blog that led to this book deal. When it came to mass communication he was able to appeal to people's lowest common denominator - sex appeal.

I didn't award it 1 star because the writing and his potential as a writer are actually pretty good. But I cannot in good conscience recommend this book to anyone I know.

Bring on the "not helpful votes" (eve though a review like this for me is often one of the most helpful kinds).

2 stars(less)

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Jun 17, 2012 Tom rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: biographies, non-fiction, sports

This book was a somewhat informative look into the Ohio State basketball program just a few years ago. It's a very light read, and fairly entertaining, although at times is extremely crass. Pretty much what I expected, having read a little bit of Mark Titus' blog. Titus can be at times quite interesting and insightful, and then bury that with a mountain of scatological humor. Sort of expected from a 20 something jock. Titus' style can probably best be summed up by the trick shot video, which has...more

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Mar 11, 2012 Everyday eBook rated it 5 of 5 stars

Finding Fame from the Bench: Mark Titus’ Don’t Put Me In, Coach:

Despite spending four years on the Ohio State Buckeyes, Mark Titus played very little college basketball. However, he manages to make every single one of his forty-eight career minutes into a memorable moment in his new memoir, Don’t Put Me In, Coach. If you love basketball, then there is no question you need to read this book. If you love juvenile humor or are a frequent visitor to collegehumor.com, you will definitely enjoy this b...more

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Sep 18, 2012 Dan Lee rated it 3 of 5 stars

A very grudging three stars. May deserve two stars instead.

The anecdotes are interesting, the descriptions of teammates and coaches enlightening, but I just can't stand his writing style. Ever have a conversation with someone who's convinced they're hilarious and WILL. NOT. SHUT. UP? That's Mark Titus. That's this book.

Specific examples? I can do that. Here's one sentence from the book, verbatim:

Again, it was frustrating to know that we probably would have also beat Michigan had The Villain been

...more

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Mar 08, 2012 Krishna rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2012, nonfiction, sports, kindle

Looks like most of these reviews start off with an explanation of where the reviewer fits on a scale of predisposition to interest in this book. I never read Titus' blog, but I love college basketball and have read and enjoyed his articles on Grantland. I think that's like a 7.5.

This book is an entertaining read thanks to Titus' engaging style and sense of humor. My main complaint is that he zips through four years at warp speed. I put the book down convinced there was more that should have been...more

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Apr 05, 2012 Lynne rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: i-own-it

Darn it. I wasted $25 and several days of my life. Granted, as a 47-year-old woman, I'm not the target audience for this book, but I thought it would be fun to see what my son - attending University of Missouri this fall as a preferred walk-on basketball player - might expect to experience.

I tried to glean what I could from the walk-on experience specifically (how he worked out and traveled with the team but played only the last minute or two of a game, etc.), but it was hard to ignore Mark's an...more

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Mar 11, 2012 Shoshanah rated it 4 of 5 stars

In high school Mark Titus played basketball with Greg Oden, a future NBA #1 draft pick, and when he doesn't get the scholarship expected to Harvard, he decides instead to follow his friend to Ohio State. He starts of managing the basketball team, but when the team loses a player or two Mark winds up on the actual team. He spends the next 4 years at college, not necessarily playing, but still a member of Ohio State's basketball team.

This wound up being a really funny and amusing memoir. The book...more

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May 15, 2012 Joey H. rated it 3 of 5 stars

Here's the thing about this book - does it have interesting anecdotes? Yes. Did it make me laugh out loud 5 or 6 times? Yes. Did I learn some things about the structure of OSU/NCAA athletics? Yes. This was all I had hoped to get out of this book, but it has a terrible, glaring weakness: the infuriatingly intermittent PG-13 language. I don't know if I should blame Disney/ABC/ESPN, Doubleday, Ohio State, the NCAA, or Mark Titus, but SOMEONE decided it was okay to say things like "S my D" and "I to...more

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Jan 01, 2012 John rated it 5 of 5 stars

I was a Goodreads winner of this book, and fortunately for me, I am a targeted reader. I love college basketball, and while I was not specifically aware of Mark Titus, I do remember seeing some of the Ohio State teams he was on. Once I saw his team play in person in San Antonio during the NCAA tournament. I thoroughly enjoyed reading about Mark's often irreverant relationship with the basketball life, his teammates, the college experience at Ohio State, his blog, and about every other topic that...more

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Mar 01, 2013 Kristjan rated it 3 of 5 stars

I am honestly still a bit confused as to what in this book is true and what is embellished and what is plain made up. I'm sure Titus would be very happy to hear that. Sometimes funny, sometimes crude, rarely mixing the two. In other words, scatological humor does not appeal to me (It's not that often I get a chance to use that word in a sentence, so I had to go for it). And once I looked it up, I can never un-know what "2 Girls 1 Cup" is about. Thanks a trillion, Titus! Best story of the book (b...more

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Aug 12, 2012 Todd rated it 4 of 5 stars

Never read the blog, even though I'm a die-hard Buckeye fan... and only had a passing interest in reading this book. Didn't follow the story closely (he was an OSU basketball player, after all, not a football player, ya know?), and only read this thing because I currently have a lot of time on my hands.

But, I'm really glad I did. This is an (occasionally) funny and (even less occasionally) semi-poignant look into the mindset of a unique individual... a quick, enjoyable read, with enough insight...more

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Feb 17, 2013 Brian rated it 5 of 5 stars

I found the writing of Mark Titus very fun and humorous throughout. He writes as if you are sitting on a couch with him telling stories back and forth. If you are a fan of sports or specifically college sports and what happens after and before the games this is a book you will find very interesting. If you've ever heard of Club Trillion this will explain what it is and how it got started. The hilarious bench warmer out of Ohio State, Mark Titus takes us on a journey through his book of his four...more

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Mar 23, 2012 Kyle rated it 4 of 5 stars

I was hoping to get a behind the scenes look at a college basketball team that made me laugh. And that's exactly what I got. Mark Titus' stories about living the life of a walk-on for 4 years at OSU made me laugh out loud on numerous occasions.

However, I have an important message for Mr. Titus. Mr. Titus, I believe you may find the following links useful: http://www.pepto-bismol.com/ or http://www.imodium.com/ Seriously man... no person should have that much diarrhea. I only wish I could have to...more

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Oct 20, 2012 Brent rated it 4 of 5 stars

My bias towards Ohio State athletics shows in the rating. This really should be somewhere between a 3 and a 4. As any fan of sports should agree, the anecdotal insight provided from an insiders view was both fun and interesting. When watching kids from a nationally prominent University perform on tv, it's sometimes hard to remember that they are just 18 - 20 years old. This book offers a (mostly) humorous look behind the scenes. As the book comes to a close, it starts feeling a bit tired, as the...more

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Oct 11, 2012 Rebecca rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: did-not-finish

The author's writing style is supposed to be casual and bloggy, but it comes off more as an overly excited high school freshman. The run-on sentences and absence of worthwhile detail drove me crazy.
While his journey to NCAA basketball is interesting, it's as if the author is trying too hard to make everything funny. He turned crass in unnecessary moments, adding to the feel of forced humor. To me, a good comedic book contains moments of depth, which I felt this book lacked..
To be fair, I only r...more

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Sep 21, 2012 1ebeling_andrew rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book is a hilarious book. If your looking for something funny, then read this. This book, Don't Put Me In Coach, is very good. What was so great about this book is that Mark Titus was a walk-on benchwarmer on the Ohio State basketball team. During this book, he talks about all the ups and downs of being a walk-on. He does not just say how he didn't play but he made it interesting. He would through around a hilarious joke every now and then. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone w...more

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Jun 18, 2012 Mattmiller rated it 4 of 5 stars

Being from Indiana and a basketball fan who was paying attention to Big Ten basketball during the time the author was (not) playing, this book was a great read. Fun insights into AAU, high school and college basketball. It is only held back by his continual sophomoric humor. Not that he's never funny, but the schtick gets a little old after a while. But Titus definitely has a gift at describing certain nuances of playing organized basketball (from early teen years through college). And his perso...more

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Jun 01, 2013 Dee rated it 2 of 5 stars

"An irreverent, hilarious insider's look..." (from Goodreads summary)

Irreverent? Yes. Hilarious? Eh. Mark Titus spends an inordinate amount of time praising his poor work ethics and morals and too little time on his wasted intellect. It's obvious that he loves to find synonyms for his genitals. I lost count after the first 2 chapters. Should I be impressed? Eh. Will I put this in my junior high/high school library? Nope. It's not worth the space in my online catalog. Where was his editor? This c...more

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Dec 19, 2011 Joe rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: doubleday, 2011

If you love basketball and/or college humor, read this book. You will be laughing out loud. Although if you are not a fan of the crude, juvenile language of the average 18-22 year old male, you may find yourself cringing at several points. Colorful metaphors for body parts and functions abound.

This book is also an insightful look into internet fame - what it means to be a well-known blogger, and how it can reshape your life. You will want and possibly need to read the blog that led to this book...more

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Jan 13, 2012 Kristen rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: contemporary, humor, memoir

I've been going back and forth between three stars and four for this very funny book - three stars for me, because while I liked Don't I didn't really like it, which is the criterion for four stars. However, that's me, a woman who NEVER watches basketball and am beyond Titus's demographic as well.

I gave it four stars because I realized just how many people I'd recommend it to - I can't figure out which of several basketball-loving family and friends to pass it along to. It's hilarious, a great...more I've been going back and forth between three stars and four for this very funny book - three stars for me, because while I liked Don't I didn't really like it, which is the criterion for four stars. However, that's me, a woman who NEVER watches basketball and am beyond Titus's demographic as well.

I gave it four stars because I realized just how many people I'd recommend it to - I can't figure out which of several basketball-loving family and friends to pass it along to. It's hilarious, a great behind-the-curtains look at sports; and a welcome relief from the zeitgeist of over-the-top admiration, respect, and pay for entertainers -- and their tedious books on why they deserved to reach the top.

Titus writes that although he does have a competitive side, basically he "just want[ed] to be good enough to make it consistently fun."

What comes through is a smart, smart-ass guy who must have been the catch of his high school (he was the quarterback of the football team and the best basketball player on the school team). His dad was a coach, and he was also in club basketball in middle school, a 6 foot 2 kid playing on the best AAU team ever assembled. He was the only white boy on that team, and gets into race issues just a bit, again with humor, and he also talks about coming to grips with the fact that he wasn't going to play pro basketball.

Now think of the time in your life when you realized that what you had always wanted to be was an impossibility. Maybe it was when you figured out that you'd almost certainly never get to be the Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire because it sadly doesn't exist anymore. Or maybe it was when you decided that being a doctor involved way too much school for your liking and/or you weren't smart enough. Or, more likely, you realized that you couldn't be a carnie because you didn't smell like a combination of meth and stale cotton candy, you didn't have a balding mullet, and you weren't missing over half of your teeth...

After my sophomore year at Ohio State, I had my realization. No matter how much I had wanted to be a Big Ten basketball star, it was never going to happen. Some would say this made me a failure, but that's an incorrect assessment because before my career was over and my window of opportunity closed, I changed my goal so I wouldn't technically fail. (It's a very popular strategy among us underachievers.) Out was my dream of being a star college basketball player and in its place was my new dream of simply making the most of the cards I was dealt and having as much fun as I possibly could for my last two years of college...

This is definitely not the book to offer up to an idealistic sixth grader who has his or her whole life ahead of them. It's rather a book for the rest of us, who have a lot of our life behind us, and are never going to be star basketball players, ballerinas, or even president. Titus shows how to get over it. Funny, funny stuff unless you're too liable to cringe at adolescent grossness.

This was a firstreads win for me -- and also either for Danny, Kira, Josh or Jack, one of whom will get it soon.(less)

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Apr 29, 2013 Melody Hyde is currently reading it · review of another edition

I chose this book out of curiosity,plus it is March Madness time. It looked interesting,learning about those bench players that don't get much playing time.I learned how the statistics are done for those players who don't get much play time and how Club Trillion came about.

The good: Mark Titus does give us all an inside look at playing as a nonstar player in college ball. He did get a chuckle out of me several times. There were several interesting anecdotes of his four years on Ohio state team....more

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Sep 06, 2012 Kourosh added it

I first heard the author speak about his book, from a sports talk show I listen to on my drive to work.

He provides a behind the scenes look of what it's like to be on a division 1 basketball team. It takes the reader through the ups and downs of a full NCAA basketball season. It's an easy read, and everything flowed from chapter to chapter.

My favorite parts of book were reading about Greg Oden, the number one pick in the 2007 nba draft, and all the pranks the author pulled on his fellow players.

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Mar 26, 2012 Julie rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is one of the funniest books I've read in a long time. Having grown up in Columbus, and being raised as a fan of OSU football and basketball, I really enjoyed this look inside the basketball program. Some people have complained about the abundance of references to pooping, puking, and the language Titus uses, but remember, these are young men in college. Maturity is not the strong suit for most of them. I think anyone who enjoys college basketball, whether an Ohio State fan or not, will enj...more

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Mar 12, 2012 Holly Cline rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: nypl, sports

Super quick read. Fun for fans of college basketball. This guy literally had a front row seat to one of the nation's great programs during some great years. Imagine being on an AAU team with Greg Oden, Mike Conley Jr. and Daquean Cook! Or witnessing the emergence of Evan Turner (seriously though, all The Villain stuff left me a bit uncomfortable as I currently root for Evan Turner on a nightly basis as part of my Sixers, though I do recognize it was mostly good-natured. Or I hope it was.). But o...more

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Mar 04, 2013 Abbey rated it 4 of 5 stars

Great book about basketball. I had to stop reading it in public because I kept laughing out loud! It was really interesting to see the life from the point of view of a "player," and I liked seeing the Big Ten from the viewpoint of a different team (Buzzcuts is a great nickname for the Badgers. Just one example of Titus' cleverness). "The Shark" is hilarious, with self-depricating humor and blunt attitude. Highly recommend for any NCAA basketball fan, especially those of us in the Big Ten. Great...more

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Sep 14, 2012 Dave Ward rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: journals, non-fiction, sports-books

Don't Put Me In, Coach: My Incredible NCAA Journey from the End of the Bench to the End of the Bench by Mark Titus (Knopf Doubleday Publsihing 2012)(nonfiction) is an engaging story by one of the most creative self-promoters that I've ever run across. The author, a four-year benchwarmer on the basketball team at Ohio State University, seems to have an endless supply of anecdotes about his teammates and coaches, some of which are even funny. My rating: 6/10, finished 9/13/12.

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May 27, 2012 Joe rated it 2 of 5 stars

I enjoyed Titus' last article on Grantland (about Greg Oden's struggles in the NBA) and figured I'd enjoy his book. Not so much. The anecdotes aren't very interesting. The running diary of game outcomes is boring. And Titus' amateurish junior-high pg13 tone is annoying. People seem comfortable labeling Titus "irreverent" - I didn't really see the advantage of the attitude/voice he employs. Very quick read, but I'm kinda bummed I wasted prime afternoon in the sun reading hours.

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“We spilled onto the court to celebrate, but most of the guys were confused about how excited they were supposed to be. I mean, sure we won the tournament, but at the end of the day it was the NIT and being the best team in the NIT is like being the most attractive Michigan cheerleader.” — 1 person liked it

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