Bite Me
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Bite Me (A Love Story #3)

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3.82 of 5 stars 3.82  ·  rating details  ·  16,611 ratings  ·  1,310 reviews
The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public.

Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup. 'Cept there's no whining. See, while some lovers we...more
333 pages
Published 2010
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(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Dan Schwent
A monstrous horde of vampire cats stalks the streets of San Francisco and only Abby Normal can save the city... with the help of Tommy Flood, Jody, the Animals, Foo, Jared, Cavuto and Rivera. Will Abby fulfill her lifelong ambition of becoming a creature of the night?

Bite Me is a pretty damn funny book. The chapters written from Abby's point of view were hilarious and Tommy and Jody's relationship progressed to the next step. The supporting characters were also good and Foo Dog's experiments wit...more
Marvin
The third book in Christopher Moore's Love Story trilogy is on par with the second, You Suck but not as good as the first, Bloodsucking Fiends. But let's explore the really cool parts of this novel...

1) Vampire Kitties. (awwww!)

2) The "ewwww!" factor: OK, so vampire kitties are cute but as my father would say, "The problem with kittens is they grow up to be cats." One of the great things about the author is he can go from "awwww!" to "ewwww!" in the same paragraph. So you may think vampire kitti...more
Kemper
So vampire cats are threatening the city in Moore’s third novel in this series. But all the characters are so focused on the evil kitties that they miss a much more dangerous problem. It seems like the time-space continuum is collapsing in San Francisco. The first book, Bloodsucking Fiends, was written and took place in 1995 and supposedly only three months have elapsed since the events in it. Yet everyone is texting on cell phones, using wireless laptops, blogging, playing X-Box and saying slan...more
Lyric Powers
While I absolutely love Abby Normal, and was very excited to have another tale narrated almost entirely by her, this did not quite live up to the standard set by 'You Suck'.

Was it funny as fuck? Of course. All Christopher Moore novels are. Did it feature a lot of well loved familiar faces? Certainly. Could it slap the crap out of 'Twilight' and leave it crying like the little bitch that it is, on the playground after school? You bet my sweet shapely behind it could.

But, something about this just...more
Caris
I’ve always been reluctant to refer to any book I’ve enjoyed as “light.” I’ve long suffered from the erroneous belief that enjoyable books that don’t make you think very hard are not worth reading. Because of this, you’d think that I would simply avoid light reads. Nope. Not me. I just convince myself that they’re somehow better than the trash that other people partake of, like desperate raccoons. I, after all, get my books from the library, not the impulse item display at the grocery store.

But...more
Tattered Cover Book Store
Jackie says:

Forget Stephanie Meyer, THESE are the vampires you want to hang out with because they will make you laugh constantly. This is a fang-filled, free-for-all festival of sex, vampire cats, fringe science and teenage minion angst. It picks up where "You Suck" left off without missing a beat and it is of course full of Moore's stylistic raunchy humor that has made him a superstar to the slightly twisted reader like myself. FANGtastic read with a surprise ending--don't miss it!
Kate
Apr 23, 2010 Kate rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Those looking for a vampire comedy that's witty, raunchy, and irreverent
Shelves: signed-by-author
I heart Abby Normal (which of course is not her real name but the one she gave herself after watching "Young Frankenstein") However, she is the most bad-ass teenager that has ever been turned into a Nossssss-fratu as well as the most comical of them all. Why do I like her so much, well let me give you a glimpse into her crazy goth, emo, punk rock head:

I came leaping out into the living area, my claws ready to rend flesh and kick ass.
And I was all, "Rawr!"
And who do I see there but the vampyre Fl...more
Lea
I love the cover. And the insults (and pretty much all of the colorful language). And the irreverent, doesn't take itself seriously at all humor. I'll have to read more by Moore.
bite me cover
Zabet The Dark Empress of Dark Chocolate
As the third book in this series, Bite Me, simply does not live up to the standards set by its predecessors. A considerable chunk of the character's time is spent trying to find one another, Jody trying to find Tommy, Tommy trying to find Jody, Abby trying to find either or both of them. This does little to enhance the plot and seems to be used more as a device to show the passage of time. When they finally did find one another, the characters were flat and boring. I missed the banter that left...more
Jasmine
Okay let's be really honest here. Why the fuck do I read Christopher Moore? They are reasonably mediocre. I mean they aren't bad, but they certainly aren't very good either. Basically as I said to someone when I began this book. Moore is the stupid version of Tom Robbins. My problem here is not even that I eventually read him, I mean I periodically read a kathy reichs book or a terry pratchett, but that a new book comes out and I literally jump on it. I stopped reading palahniuk when he stopped...more
Jana
I picked this up (not realizing that it was book #3 in a series) because I have always liked Moore's wicked use of ironic humor. Still it took me a while to get into the text. He does a rapid fire synopsis of "all that went before" in the voice of one protagonist, a teenage girl who does a cross between valley-girl speak ("kayso I was all like...") and chat speak (Tnx L8rz bi) that was hard to read. I think the biggest obstacle to smooth flow of the storyline was that Moore switches voices const...more
Terri ♥ (aka Mrs. Christian Grey)
Quick review:

Cover: Fitting
Rating: NC-17
Steaminess: Steam
Thumbs Up: 3
Overall: Disappointed with the ending
Characters: Well written
Plot: Save the city at all cost
Page Turner: Yes
Series Cont.? Series Ender
Recommend: Yes
Book Boyfriend: Tommy

SUMMARY (50 words or less)
I’ve enjoyed this series and for the most part I enjoyed this installment. I wasn’t pleased with the beginning or end. But the middle had me laughing at that was what I was looking for. The silliness continued, so much for that...more
Kathryn
I meant to write a review for this at the time of finishing but it skipped my mind so I hope I can remember enough to explain my feelings.

I guess that is a good introduction to my thoughts on this book. I barely remember it and it's only been a week. I love Cristopher Moore. I am grateful for his books, for his style and characters and darkly sarcastic humor. This book seems to conclude Moore's vampire trilogy, a series that started out so much better than it finished.

The main narrator of this...more
David Katzman
For Halloween this year, I went as a bad standup-comedian vampire. I wrote some jokes that followed typical standup subject matter but entirely without punch lines. My style was Steven Wright minus the payoff. I dressed as a vampire, wore realistic fangs, too, and performed the routine at two parties with a plant in the audience each time directed to shout, after four jokes, “You suck!!!”

I killed.

Hahahah. Well, I kill me, anyway.

So a while back a friend loaned me the novel, You Suck because he...more
Michael
When we last saw Jody and Tommy, the star crossed vampire lovers of author Christopher Moore, they'd just defeated a vampire queen and had been encased in bronze after being told to leave the city. They'd also transformed their cat Chet into a vampire.

"Bite Me" picks up where the last installment left off, though Moore seems to have forgotten that while he and the world have aged, the story should still be set in less modern times when various characters don't have things like X-Boxes. (It's a m...more
AH
Where do I start? I have not laughed so hard since I read the first book in the series, Bloodsucking Fiends. I hadn't even realized that Bite Me was part of a trilogy and that this was the third book in the series. It really didn't matter that I read the books out of order.

What makes this book special is the attention to all of the zany, eccentric, and absolutely crazy characters. You have humans, and all sorts of vampires -- vampire cats, rats, and parrots. The humans in Bite Me include a homel...more
Jackie
Forget Stephanie Meyer, THESE are the vampires you want to hang out with because they will make you laugh constantly. This is a fang-filled, free-for-all festival of sex, vampire cats, fringe science and teenage minion angst. It picks up where "You Suck" left off without missing a beat and it is of course full of Moore's stylistic raunchy humor that has made him a superstar to the slightly twisted reader like myself. FANGtastic read with a surprise ending--don't miss it!
Heather
I tried really hard to like this book, because pretty much all the reviews for it rave about how good and funny it is...but I couldn't even finish it. Not even half of it, honestly, and that's not something that ever happens to me with books; I always try to finish them to see if they get better near the end. I just couldn't with this; I couldn't stand it. This book was not good at all. I absolutely hated the writing style; it made me want to claw my own eyes out, and I found myself so annoyed a...more
Trin
Did I just stop finding Christopher Moore funny, or did he actually stop being funny? I still really like Bloodsucking Fiends, the first book in this now-a-trilogy about vampires and the people who love them, but its follow-up, You Suck, um, sucked. (You set yourself up there, Christopher.) Bite Me is better than its predecessor, but not by much: there are fewer blue hookers (good), but there's a ridiculous family of ancient vampire assassins who can't seem to manage to assassinate anybody, and...more
Littlefox
Classic Christopher Moore,For those of you that have not had the pleasure, Classic Christopher Moore = Laugh out loud funny/campy/and at times (more othen then most red-blooded men will admit)very touching. If you can find fault in this book or any one (Even Fluke)of his books you really need to lighten up, life is short so, Laugh Damn It Laugh. All Jokes aside this is one of his best I hated the ending and still think it is a great read. Way to go Christopher... you knocked another one out of t...more
John

The infuriating Goth Abby Normal, whom I first encountered in Moore's A Dirty Job -- a novel I liked very much -- here takes more or less centre stage in a tale of vampirism, narrating a good deal of the book in her own inimitable style. Others of the characters from A Dirty Job reprise here (and, I sense, have already done so in the intervening novel You Suck). The tale is very funny -- I laughed a lot -- and quite extraordinarily smutty, yet I came away from it dissatisfied: where A Dirty Job...more
Cyndy Aleo
My discovery of Christopher Moore's vampire novels actually began with Bite Me: A Love Story. Not realizing it was part of a series, I picked it up at the library, read the first chapter, and was thoroughly confused. A friend pointed me to the two books that preceded this one, which I dutifully read so that I could tackle this one with some clue about what is going on.

::: The Plot :::

Continuing where You Suck: A Love Story left off, Bite Me: A Love Story begins with the intrepid vampire minion A...more
JG (The Introverted Reader)
I don't think I can even begin to explain the appeal of these books. A synopsis is going to make it sound ridiculous. A giant shaved vampire cat named Chet is stalking the San Francisco night? Puh-leeze.

Except that leaves out Abby Normal, Emergency Backup Mistress of the Greater Bay Area Night. I. Heart. This. Chick.

Abby is hilarious! I loved her in You Suck: A Love Story and I was thrilled when I found out that she tells most of this newest story. She makes grown men cry. She intimidates the h...more
Cindy
"The City of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampire cat named Chet, and only I Abby Normal, emergency back-up mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Which isn't, like,as bad as it sounds, because the general public kind of sucks ass."

And with that paragraph, the third installment in the hilarious saga of Jody & Tommy begins. Thank you, Author Guy.

You kn...more
Jessica
I'm a little bit in love with Christopher Moore and his books. Ever since I picked up A Dirty Job on a whim at the bookstore, Christopher Moore has had me lol'ing til my tummy hurts. Bite Me is the third book in a sort of series, following up on the characters from Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck (all subtitled "A Love Story"). Bite Me follows Abby Normal, the emergency backup mistress of the dark night of San Francisco, aka one of my favorite characters. She's just hilarious in an earnest, hys...more
Sarah
Christopher Moore does it again, with his trademark humor and amazing style. Bite Me is the ending (?) book in the saga started by Bloodsucking Fiends, picking up right where You Suck left off.

It moves along with speed of a kid on pixie sticks and caffeine, since its narrated by Abby, who was introduced in the second book as Jody and Tommy's day minion. But that is entirely ok, but it works with the rather..unique storyline, which features, um, a rather large and anger-filled vampire cat who is...more
Bert Edens
I didn't realize until I got a bit into this that it wasn't the first book in the series, so I'll definitely have to go back and read the first two.

This was just a fun, light read with not a lot of social significance or anything like that. Just pure, good, fun reading. And that's just what I needed, what I expected, and what I got.

This is the first book I've read by Moore, and I liked it enough, I think I'll pick up other books of his outside this series.
Jim son of Jim (formerly PhotoJim)
Bite Me is funny. No ifs ands or buts about it. I laughed out loud more times from reading in the past day with this book than in the past two months combined. Maybe I just have a sick sense of humor.
Zuzana Urbanek
The continuing adventures of Abby Normal, the Countess Jody, the Dark Lord Flood, and their assorted minions -- not to mention the Emperor of San Francisco, the Animals, and one giant shaved cat named Chet and his horde of vampire kitties that can turn to fog -- all pursued by detectives Rivera and Cavuto, plus the ancient vampires trying to "clean up" and remain hidden. If that is not fun summer reading, I don't know what is!

Moore has a wicked sense of humor that's present and accounted for in...more
Jennifer Brethauer
In true Christopher Moore fashion, you look forward to reading his books like you used to look forward to Christmas morning. Someone magical, who seemed to know exactly what you wanted and needed, put everything together for you and all you had to do was wait, and when you woke up, and then surprise! Glee! Happiness! Suspense! and Joy!.

Christopher's book's are the books you love reading, because, these would be the books you would write, if you could. I have also had the enjoyment of being to a...more
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Okata, was he a dwarf or just a short person? 3 14 Jun 29, 2014 07:56AM  
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Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name. See this thread for more information.

Christopher Moore (born 1957 in Toledo, Ohio) is an American writer of absurdist fiction. He grew up in Mansfield, OH, and attended Ohio State University and Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara, CA.

Moore's novels typically involve conflicted everyman characters...more
More about Christopher Moore...
Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal A Dirty Job Bloodsucking Fiends (A Love Story, #1) Fool You Suck (A Love Story, #2)

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“And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito.” 50 likes
“[...]I am a romance slut, and there's nothing I can do about it. If a guy does or says something romantic, I'm all "Oh, please excuse me, kind sir, let me dial down my IQ and oh, if it would please sir, may I offer you this moist, yet helpless va-jay-jay that seems to have lost its way."
-The Chronicles of Abby Normal”
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