Parenting by God's Promises: How to Raise Children in the Covenant of Grace

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Parenting by God's Promises: How to Raise Children in the Covenant of Grace

3.97 of 5 stars 3.97 · rating details · 31 ratings · 9 reviews

Parents: Helpless, But Not Hopeless

Many parents today are searching for the "secret" to successful parenting. In Parenting by God's Promises: How to Raise Children in the Covenant of Grace, Dr. Joel R. Beeke asserts that there is no secret. When it comes to giving children what they need most—new hearts that trust in Christ for forgiveness of sins—parents are helpless. Whe...more

Hardcover, 333 pages

Published November 15th 2011 by Reformation Trust Publishing

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Feb 11, 2013 Laura Langley rated it 4 of 5 stars

Written by Joel R. Beeke, pastor of Heritage Netherlands Reformed Congregation in Grand Rapids, Michigan, Parenting by God's Promises: How to Raise Children in the Covenant of Grace offers a reformed, covenantal perspective on parenting.

Parents from a Reformed tradition will find the book upholds their long-held beliefs, while parents from non-Reformed traditions may find parts of the book differ from their interpretations of some Scriptures. In fact, I would caution non-Reformed readers to be a...more Written by Joel R. Beeke, pastor of Heritage Netherlands Reformed Congregation in Grand Rapids, Michigan, Parenting by God's Promises: How to Raise Children in the Covenant of Grace offers a reformed, covenantal perspective on parenting.

Parents from a Reformed tradition will find the book upholds their long-held beliefs, while parents from non-Reformed traditions may find parts of the book differ from their interpretations of some Scriptures. In fact, I would caution non-Reformed readers to be aware that their own traditional interpretations are criticized in the book. Still, I think there is enough practical parenting advice that may benefit readers from both traditions if one is patient enough to sift through the whole book to find those nuggets.

Parenting by God's Promises is divided into four parts. Part One outlines covenantal foundations for parenting while Part Two focuses on parent's roles as prophets, priests and kings. In Part Three, the author highlights practical steps for child-rearing while Part Four specifically deals with parenting teenagers.

While I struggled through the covenantal implications on parenting, I appreciated the author's list of duties of Christian parents, with which I think parents of any Christian tradition can agree and should strive to achieve: directing our children to Jesus Christ and His perfect sacrifice as the only ground and foundation of salvation; call our children to heartfelt obedience to God; and instructing our children in Christian doctrine (pages 25-26).

The author did emphasize the necessity of dependence upon God, upon the centrality of His word, and upon prayer. He also addressed the value of learning to exercise sympathy without excusing sin.

One of my favorite chapters was chapter eight where Beeke outlines ten things we should teach our children (pages 94-100). You can't get much more practical that that. I also found the chapters on piety (godliness), listening, anger, controlling the tongue, helping teens discern God's will, and dealing with teen anger to be very practical and helpful.

For those who want to use the book for a small group study or book club, there are study questions in the back of the book. The publishers have also included a helpful subject index as well as a Scripture index.

I would probably give the book 4 stars out of 5. While I don't necessarily hold to the same theological convictions as the author when it comes to covenantal theology, parts three and four of the book were both biblical and practical, offering even me, a Baptist, some parental encouragement and teaching.

I received a copy of this Parenting by God's Promises as compensation for this book review. However, the opinions expressed in the review are my own.(less)

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Nov 01, 2012 Steve Hemmeke rated it 5 of 5 stars

I seldom give five stars here. Except for Calvin, Luther.

That's the caliber of this book. It is on par or better than the other two best parenting books I recommend: Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp, and Standing on the Promises by Doug Wilson.

Beyond a couple quibbles about using KJV, and overusing "must," "should," and ought," this is an outstanding book on parenting.

It is content-rich without being overwhelming.
It is Biblically balanced in resting parenting upon the covenant of grace,...more I seldom give five stars here. Except for Calvin, Luther.

That's the caliber of this book. It is on par or better than the other two best parenting books I recommend: Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp, and Standing on the Promises by Doug Wilson.

Beyond a couple quibbles about using KJV, and overusing "must," "should," and ought," this is an outstanding book on parenting.

It is content-rich without being overwhelming.
It is Biblically balanced in resting parenting upon the covenant of grace, and calling out comprehensively our duties in that covenant. Chapter 1 starts strong with application to parenting from Genesis 15, of all places.
Chapter 2 may daunt some readers, with its theological discussion of the covenant, but it's a very important one, and he nails it without getting caught up in contemporary controversy about it.

After this covenantal foundation is laid, Beeke considers parents as prophets (teaching and training), priests (intercession and sympathy) and kings (discipline), then a few practical chapters on training children in piety, listening, speaking and siblings. Last comes a section for teens, and also preparing children for marriage, and parenting adult children and relating to grandchildren.

There is often an optical illusion in parenting books. One sixth of this book addresses the covenant of gospel grace. The rest is our responsibilities as parents. Some assume that that quantity alone makes the book moralistic, but they are sadly mistaken. The exhortation to what we are to do covers a lot of ground, illustrates often, and is soaked with grace and sympathy.

Here are a couple samples, which Beeke goes on to apply to parenting children.

"The Puritans believed a husband and wife had equal authority in the eyes of their children, though a wife was expected to practice biblical submission to her husband (Eph. 5:22; Col 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1-6). They had an orderly protocol for making decisions. If a husband and wife disagreed on a matter, they would talk over the issue until they came to a mutually acceptable solution. In the rare case when agreement could not be reached, it was the wife's duty to submit to her husband's authority in the matter. Of course, at times a Puritan husband might defer to his wife's opinion, especially if he was persuaded by her reasoning or if she felt more strongly about a particular matter than he did... In other words, the fact that the Puritans advocated strong male leadership did not mean a Puritan husband could simply have it his way. A wise husband, out of respect for his wife's intelligence, good sense, and practical experience, frequently deferred to her. Husbands and wives worked together as a team - as they should today." (171-2)

"One of the biggest obstacles to effective listening is self-absorbed pride. Instead of tuning our ears to what others are telling us, we tend to think ahead to our responses. Our own thoughts usually trump what others say. We care too much about our own ideas, opinions, preferences, and problems to take genuine interest in someone else's" (195-196).

"Sometimes we load unnecessary guilt on parents by turning general rules into absolute requirements - this will always happen if you always do that. The verse that is cited most often to support this faulty thinking is Proverbs 22:6... this verse is a proverb, not a magic formula to guarantee successful parenting. Despite the best upbringing, a child may rebel against his parents..." (133).(less)

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Apr 03, 2012 Mathew rated it 4 of 5 stars

Head and Shoulders

Joel Beeke draws from the deep well of covenant theology and provides us with a glass of cold water for parents seeking to honor the Lord. Christ and his cross-work are the central theme of this book. Beeke leans hard on the finished work of Christ and the promise made by God to those of us in Christ through the covenant of grace.

Beeke starts off in Part One (“Covenantal Foundations for Parenting”) unpacking the truths found in Scripture surrounding Christ, the covenant of grac...more

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Feb 25, 2013 Brent Rosendal rated it 3 of 5 stars

This was one of the best and one of the worst books I've ever read on parenting. The first section of the book is entitled, 'Covenantal Foundations for Parenting'. I've never struggled to get through a section of a book like I struggled to get through this section. I'd read good reviews about this book and so I forced myself to get through it, even though it took me like 6 months to read about 60 pages. The author is from the reformed tradition and really pushed his infant baptism beliefs. The m...more

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Jun 04, 2012 Pam rated it 3 of 5 stars

I thought “Part One: Covenantal Foundations for Parenting” was phenomenal and that every parent and grandparent would be blessed by reading it. Throughout the book Dr. Joel R. Beeke gives many practical ideas and examples of what it means to raise our children in “the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (which at times was over whelming to me) all the while encouraging us to trust God to do what only He can do.

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Jan 26, 2013 Lauran rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book puts the covenant relationship between God and our children into new light.

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Feb 20, 2012 Timothy Carr rated it 4 of 5 stars

Helpful.

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Aug 10, 2012 Brad rated it 5 of 5 stars

A really great book on parenting that helps see our obligations to our kids in light of God's covenant. I highly recommend this book to any parent or grandparent as it is theological and practical.

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Sep 07, 2012 Jeremy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: family, religion, non-fiction, read-with-kara

Got this from my in-laws on Kate's 1st birthday.

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About Joel R. Beeke

Dr. Joel R. Beeke serves as President and Professor of Systematic Theology, Church History, and Homiletics. He has been in the ministry since 1978 and has served as a pastor of his current church since 1986. He is also editor of the Banner of Sovereign Grace Truth, editorial director of Reformation Heritage Books, president of Inheritance Publishers, and vice-president of the Dutch Reformed Transl...more

More about Joel R. Beeke...

Books by Joel R. Beeke

Living for God's Glory: An Introduction to Calvinism

Meet the Puritans: With a Guide to Modern Reprints

Friends and Lovers: Cultivating Companionship and Intimacy in Marriage

Getting Back In The Race: The Cure For Backsliding

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