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Nickels: A Tale Of Dissociation

by Christine Stark, Anya Achtenberg (Introduction)

4.37 of 5 stars 4.37 · rating details · 19 ratings · 12 reviews

..".a perfect genius that makes the impossible in expression, possible; theunknowable in experience, knowable"
--Anya Achtenberg, author of "The Stories of Devil-Girl"
"Nickels" follows a biracial girl named "Little Miss So and So," fromage 4-1/2 into adulthood. Told in a series of prose poems, "Nickels'"lyrical and inventive language conveys the dissociative states bornof...more ..".a perfect genius that makes the impossible in expression, possible; theunknowable in experience, knowable"
--Anya Achtenberg, author of "The Stories of Devil-Girl"
"Nickels" follows a biracial girl named "Little Miss So and So," fromage 4-1/2 into adulthood. Told in a series of prose poems, "Nickels'"lyrical and inventive language conveys the dissociative states bornof a world formed by persistent and brutal incest and homophobia.The dissociative states enable the child's survival and, ultimately, the adult's healing. The story is both heartbreaking and triumphant.Nickels is the groundbreaking debut of Minneapolis-area authorand artist Christine Stark.
"Christine Stark has crafted a language and a diction commensuratewith the shredding of consciousness that is a consequence ofchildhood sexual abuse. She brings us a wholly original voice in ariveting novel of desperation and love. Every sentence vibrates witha terrible beauty. Every sentence brings the news."
--Patricia Weaver Francisco, author of "Telling: A Memoir of Rape and Recovery"
"To be taken into the mind of a child can be an enchantingadventure, but to be taken into the mind of a child who isabused, confused, and taken for granted is a lingering, lividjourney. I applaud her fortitude to bring an olden--too long ignored--truth out of the darkness with blazing, innovative light."
--MariJo Moore, author of "The Diamond Doorknob"
"In "Nickels," Christine Stark, powerfully portrays the story of abuse and its impact on our lives. When this beautifully written and compelling story leaves, you are left wanting more. It's riveting; a book that will capture you from the beginning and carry you through the end. Everyone should read this book."
--Olga Trujillo, author of "The Sum of My Parts"
From the Reflections of America Series at Modern History Press www.ModernHistoryPress.com
Learn more at www.ChristineStark.com
FIC044000 Fiction: Contemporary Women
FIC018000 Fiction: Lesbian
SOC010000 Social Science: Feminism & Feminist Theory
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Paperback, 248 pages

Published August 7th 2011 by Modern History Press

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May 21, 2012 Laura rated it 5 of 5 stars

In her new book, NICKELS - A Tale of Dissociation, Christine Stark gives insight into what goes on in the mind of a child, who is a victim of incest. NICKELS tells the story of a young girl, Little Miss So and So, who endures sexual, emotional, and physical abuse, at the hands of her father, on a daily basis, while her mother, who I believe is aware of some of the abuse, chooses to ignore it. Her father buys her a small pink purse and forces Little Miss So and So to wear it around her neck, wher...more

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May 14, 2012 Featherstory rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book was amazing. The style in which it was written(prose poems), the language, how empowering it was, how endearing the characters were, how real and frustrating the plot was. This book will move you. It may be tough to get into at first, just because it is very different and you have to get into the flow and rhythm of it, but once you do it will be a riveting ride.

This story is a powerful read that everyone over the age of 18 should read. It touches on some very important issues in moder...more

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May 02, 2012 Dawn added it

“Nickels: A Tale of Dissociation”follow covers part of the lifespan of a woman who suffers tremendous abuse beginning in childhood.

I have to admit that this book is written rather differently than any other book that I have ever read. After I gave it a few pages, I have come to the realization that the way it is written is what makes the book so “real.” I feel that the character had so many thoughts and feelings and that there was just so much going on in her head that she got it all out the bes...more

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Apr 23, 2012 Jessica_e rated it 5 of 5 stars

I was excited to be chosen to review the book, Nickels: A Tale of Dissociation. I received a copy of the book to read, and found that I became engrossed in the story. I was unsure it would be the type of book I would like, as it is written in a unique style with prose poems. I soon adjusted to the writing style and followed the tale of Little Miss So And So throughout her life, from the age of four to 26. I found the story of a child who was going through so much turmoil and abuse to be heartbre...more

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Apr 20, 2012 Nadia rated it 4 of 5 stars

NICKELS: a tale of dissociation by author Christine Stark, takes us through the life of Little Miss So and So, a child living through horrendous physical & sexual abuse at the hands of her father. While her mother, the one parent most are able to count on, turns the other cheek with full knowledge of what her husband is doing to their child.

NICKELS also guides us through Little Miss So and So's development and discovery of her sexuality & the homophobia that comes along with it. We see w...more NICKELS: a tale of dissociation by author Christine Stark, takes us through the life of Little Miss So and So, a child living through horrendous physical & sexual abuse at the hands of her father. While her mother, the one parent most are able to count on, turns the other cheek with full knowledge of what her husband is doing to their child.

NICKELS also guides us through Little Miss So and So's development and discovery of her sexuality & the homophobia that comes along with it. We see what Little Miss So and So needs to do, to cope with the life she's been born into.

Friendships that never have a chance to develop, for fear of discovery of Little Miss So and So's home life.

The lack of trust that has been stolen from her because of the dysfunctional relationship between Little Miss So and So and her parents.

The one person who has loved Little Miss So and So, unconditionally, but from afar, is her Aboriginal grandmother. Whom I suspect knows something is not right, but is waiting for her granddaughter to tell her what is wrong. One of my favourite lines that always ends their phone conversations is, "You are the cream in my coffee too granddaughter." One of the few soft spots in the book.

This is the first time that I've read a novel in the form of several prose poems. It took me until Age 10 (the novel follows main character, Little Miss So and So by age) before I could get into a regular, reading rhythm. Until Age 10 it took me 3 times as long as it normally would, to finish a page. Eventually I found myself able to visually add the punctuation where they "normally" would be in a traditionally written novel. Therefore making it easier on myself to follow the flow of the book.

This work of fiction allows the readers to get a glimpse of the ramifications of what can and does occur to people who are sexually abused.

Mental health issues that are more common then not. In the case of Little Miss So and So, dissociation.

The lifelong issues with trust. Even with the therapy there is often a war with one's self, to not fall back into feelings of worthlessness, or not being good enough.

Establishing relationships as an adult are often something that is continually worked on, throughout life.

Not falling into different kinds of abusive relationships because that is what the abused is use to and or feels that this is all that they are worth.

I didn't find NICKELS: A Tale of Dissociation overly disturbing because I know that this is a very unfortunate, but very real part of every society around the world. An issue that we as a society should not be afraid to address. For those who are sensitive to the subject of sexual abuse/homophobia this novel may be hard to get through, but it's well worth it in the end. Christine Stark has a writing style that will make you feel as though you embody the spirit of her characters. For me, I was able to anticipate Little Miss So and So's thoughts and actions towards the end of novel. Not in a predictable way, because the writing has been done before, but because at times I felt that I was Little Miss So and So. Before I started to read this book, I knew what the subject matter was, so I didn't let the turmoil of the character follow me into my life, when I put the book down.(less)

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Apr 05, 2012 Kimberly rated it 5 of 5 stars

To say this book was difficult to read would be an understatement, not just based on content but on writing style, yet still I had a hard time putting it down, and I shared parts of the book with my husband while I read, which I never do.

The book starts when Little Miss So and So is 4-1/2 but the horrific violent raping from her father starts well before that age and continues until she manages to escape him at the age of 20, but not before devloping a dissociative disorder where she "goes away"...more

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Jan 06, 2012 George rated it 5 of 5 stars

By Kathleen Barry
January 6, 2012
The author, professor emerita of Penn State University, describes the culture that produced the recent scandal—and suggests a path to a needed focus on the victims of such abuse.
I was once summoned to my dean’s office to justify comments I made in a radio interview upon publication of my book Prostitution of Sexuality (1995). I had said that one in ten women in the United States is raped, and that figure—which has since doubled—was an undercount because only 10 pe...more
By Kathleen Barry
January 6, 2012
The author, professor emerita of Penn State University, describes the culture that produced the recent scandal—and suggests a path to a needed focus on the victims of such abuse.
I was once summoned to my dean’s office to justify comments I made in a radio interview upon publication of my book Prostitution of Sexuality (1995). I had said that one in ten women in the United States is raped, and that figure—which has since doubled—was an undercount because only 10 percent of rapes are reported. The interview angered a Penn State alumni, who demanded that the university president take action against me. In all seriousness, the president forwarded the complaint to my dean, who expected me to explain myself. My answer didn’t satisfy apparently so I was called in once again. This time I told the administration that the call was likely coming from a sexual predator, and I walked out of the dean’s office.
Penn State caters to an alumni whose donations are a major source of income, and whose presence is a major segment of the crowd that fills the 100,000-plus capacity football stadium every home game. In such an atmosphere, coach Joe Paterno, as the lead draw for alumni contributions, was beyond question. So, for a time, was Rene Portland, the Penn State women’s basketball coach whose explicit “No Lesbians” team policy and attendant sexual harassment wreaked havoc on many young women’s lives and college careers. When Penn State, under pressure from feminist and lesbian/gay rights groups, mandated sexual harassment training for all coaches in the 1990s, Paterno and Portland, with the arrogance of the untouchable, showed up for only the last 15 minutes of the program.
Despite a 1991 Penn State non-discrimination and harassment policy, Portland persisted with her harassment until 2006 when a student sued the university for being taken off the team and being threatened that her parents and community would be told she was a lesbian. Penn State’s own investigation recognized that Portland had created a “hostile, intimidating and offensive” environment for lesbians. The suit, settled out of court, cost Portland her job. But in the world of Penn State athletics, hatred of lesbians combined with a football cult of male macho continued to validate a sexually hostile campus culture.
A beacon of hope for students devastated by that culture—Portland’s victims, survivors of fraternity gang rape and date rape—existed in the Penn State Center for Women’s Students, developed and directed for years by Sabrina Chapman and later by feminist therapist Peggy Lorah. Still, the coaches for the most part were untouched and uncaring until the arrest last month of assistant coach Jerry Sandusky on allegations of child sexual abuse, which finally brought down Paterno and University President Graham Spanier as well.
With all the media coverage of the scandal since mid November, the public remains distanced from the actual harm that the children victimized by Sandusky experienced and must live with. And the extent of the hostile sexual climate at Penn State has gone unreported. The language of media reports too often implied implicit consent by the children. As former sex crimes prosecutor Wendy Murphy points out:
While the word “rape” rarely appears, nearly every news source describes the crimes at issue using the following terms and phrases: “engaging in sexual activity”; “fondling”; “the boy performing oral sex”; “anal sex/intercourse” and “sexual assault.”

Christine Stark's new novel portrays a survivor of abuse in present moment reality.
To break through the mainstream media’s problematic language and get a sense of the depth of harm the victim experiences in sexual abuse, I suggest reading Christine Stark’s new novel, Nickels: A Tale of Dissociation. The author, also a poet and visual artist, manages to bring the experience of sexual abuse into a present moment reality through the first-person narrative of Little Miss So and So, from age five to twenty-five, from surviving her father’s sexual abuse at various ages to a world of support created by feminists and lesbians.
Since feminism broke open this best kept secret decades ago, we have been heartbroken and angered by the testimony and memoirs of women who as children fell victim to a father, stepfather, grandfather or uncle. The effects could be so severe that memory might not contain it—until some experience in adulthood provides the trigger and floods of anguish take over. So the story, Nickels, is not new. But Christine Stark has chosen a style and genre—a stream of consciousness novel—that keeps Little Miss So and So in the present tense.
Her reality is not segmented into sentences or paragraphs; its monologue is born in experience and expressed in a voice authentic to her heroine at various ages. Nothing could bring her reality—the abuse, the doctors, the courts, her escape, breakdown and recovery—closer to our consciousness. The author knows something about survival, about putting one foot in front of the other to move through a situation we are never meant to experience. Little Miss So and So’s present moments yield immediately to new present moments that the reader cannot escape; yet the pace is fast enough to relieve us of the need to “get through it.”
This book and its empathetic engagement will be a treasure to anyone working with victims of sexual abuse. And if we want to truly understand the failure in the Penn State scandal, we will look closely to its victims.
The views expressed in this commentary are those of the author alone and do not represent WMC. WMC is a 501(c)(3) organization and does not endorse candidates.
To support women journalists who are changing the conversation, donate to the WMC(less)

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May 02, 2012 Sugarmama rated it 5 of 5 stars

My Thoughts:
I’ll be blunt, I was very excited to be chosen for this review. I checked the post office daily in hopes that it arrived and was SO excited the day I got it. Mental illness is something close to my heart, as I am the child of a mentally ill mother. In addition I am familiar with abuse of every kind and while my abuse was not at all incestual, I felt I could relate to the character and would be able to write a thorough review with no problem.....after all the request for a 100 word r...more
My Thoughts:
I’ll be blunt, I was very excited to be chosen for this review. I checked the post office daily in hopes that it arrived and was SO excited the day I got it. Mental illness is something close to my heart, as I am the child of a mentally ill mother. In addition I am familiar with abuse of every kind and while my abuse was not at all incestual, I felt I could relate to the character and would be able to write a thorough review with no problem.....after all the request for a 100 word review is simple enough....

And then I started reading.

Initially I was thinking there was NO way I could get through this, the writing style is unlike I’ve ever seen, and I found it tricky to follow. I had to take a step back and remind myself that the character speaking is 4 ½ years old, I also had to separate my anger as a survivor, from “Little Miss So-and-So” and her story.

As the book went on, I couldn’t put it down. With each part of her journey I became more and more interested, more absorbed. Following her through life, through her eyes was amazing. This style of writing is unlike anything I’ve ever read and I read a LOT! Aside from being able to relate on several levels, her journey through life was very engaging, making my heart pound as often as it made it skip a beat.

From the time “Little Miss So-and-So” is 4 ½ until the time she is 26, this story explains each assault in the details only a survivor would have, each triumph in the words appropriate for her age at the time and each encounter (positive or negative) in the same detailed manner. From her childhood abuse, to an assault as an adult, to the struggles she faced with homophobic parents and the public, her thoughts are clearly spelled out….so long as you pay attention.

This book is AMAZING, the writing style was so different, yet so captivating! And, in the manner similar to SO many great books, it left me wondering what became of “Little Miss So-and-So”, leaving my own imagination to create the rest of her life….in her words, of course.

This book is not for the faint of heart. It explains in detail the lengths we go to, to protect ourselves, to build our defenses…to survive! Please know if you’re a survivor of abuse, you may have moments of tears, fear and anger. Just remember, you are not “Little Miss So-and-So”, this is her story….not yours, not mine..it’s her’s. That said, this is certainly on my list of favorites and I highly recommend it to all of my fellow strong, survivor friends and anyone who loves a great read!

As you can clearly tell, this is well over a 100 word review and even though I've already said a LOT, there is SO much more I'd love to say.....there is SO much power in this story, it's hard not to let it all out!(less)

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Apr 05, 2012 SaraLee rated it 4 of 5 stars

NICKLES is told in the first person from the view of a 4 year old to start. The writer takes us deep into the dark passages of incest and abuse of a small child from her viewpoint. This was not an easy book to read yet I was compelled to finish it. This book captured me from the first page and I simply could not put it down!
I cried, not just teary eyed, I mean I actually cried my eyes out trying to explain the book to my husband. It is not for the faint of heart or someone looking for entertain...more

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May 07, 2012 brandy oliver rated it 5 of 5 stars

I think this was a masterpiece and I am sad that it has ended.
I found that I actually really enjoy the way it was written, it tool about 5 pages to get the hang of it but now I understand the reasoning behind it, and think that it was really the only way to write, through prose poems.
I also had a hard time setting this book down. To have such an opportunity to travel with Little Miss So and So, and see how she sees and see what she thinks, was just amazing!
This book has some very horrific part...more

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Mar 28, 2012 Lana Bradstream rated it 2 of 5 stars

I did not like the way it was written -- in the prose poem form. It made it somewhat difficult to read, especially when Little Miss So and So was having conversations.
I'm also not a fan of the content, but that is my own personal preference. This is great for people who liked PUSH by Sapphire. Powerful story, however.
If it was written in the traditional form, it would have gotten a higher score from me.

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Jun 26, 2012 Alicia rated it 3 of 5 stars

such a fascinating perspective on dissociation!!!

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Mar 11, 2013 Katie Moncelsi marked it as to-read

Mar 09, 2013 Nicole Kichko marked it as to-read

Shelves: schizophrenia-dissociative-identity

Jan 31, 2013 Sabrina L. marked it as to-read

Jan 30, 2013 Hazel Elizabeth marked it as to-read

Nov 18, 2012 Sherry Lee rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction

Oct 17, 2012 Yinzadi marked it as to-read

Sep 02, 2012 Holly marked it as to-read

Aug 31, 2012 Diane Walters marked it as to-read

Aug 28, 2012 Amy Kenzie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Aug 24, 2012 Sarah rated it 5 of 5 stars

Aug 17, 2012 Ashley marked it as to-read

Jul 16, 2012 Yazmin marked it as to-read

Jun 22, 2012 Rachel rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: lgbt, new-forms, read-unowned, trauma-atrocity

Jun 01, 2012 Soo Na marked it as to-read

May 18, 2012 Victor rated it 5 of 5 stars

Apr 24, 2012 Deidre marked it as to-read

Apr 20, 2012 Cathleen marked it as to-read

Shelves: dykealicious

Apr 18, 2012 Desiree rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction, lgbtqia, romance, sexuality

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