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Smite Me, Oh Dark One

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3.81  ·  Rating Details ·  68 Ratings  ·  11 Reviews
Acerbus hates his job. While he is content to watch and study the mortal races, the other gods constantly look for reasons to destroy their newly-created world. When they finally find an excuse, they command Acerbus to become the Smiter, destroyer of all creation.

Armed with nothing but spite and goblins, Acerbus decides that there is only one way to ensure his own failure
...more
Kindle Edition, 26 pages
Published August 29th 2011
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Eon ♒Windrunner♒
Nov 19, 2015 Eon ♒Windrunner♒ rated it really liked it
A fun little story about a bunch of gods who decide to create life as an experiment. Unfortunately, said gods are imbeciles with the exception of the god of darkness. Thus, he takes it on himself to somehow prevent the extinction of created life that is threatened by the promise of some good old fashioned smiting...

Will definitely be looking for more by this author.

colleen the convivial curmudgeon
Jul 01, 2013 colleen the convivial curmudgeon rated it really liked it
Shelves: fantasy, humor
3.5

After reading this short story, I was talking about it to my husband, so then I had him read it. I mean, it is only 20 pages, so it's not like it takes long...

He saw it as a parody of Lord of the Rings, specifically the more Silmarillion bits.

Me, being unfamiliar with those nuances of Tolkien's world, read it as a more general sort of fable along the lines of the bad guy not really being evil, but misunderstood, and also how people often prefer comforting lies to hard truths and like to go a
...more
Kathryn Patterson
Jun 14, 2012 Kathryn Patterson rated it really liked it
Shelves: fantasy
"Smite Me, Oh Dark One" by Steve Thomas is a short story about the stupidity of gods. Or the stupidity of humans. Or, well, something like that.

The narrator of the story is Acerbus, the God of Darkness. He seems to be the only power with any common sense at all. Lux, the God of Light, leads the other gods to perform some fairly inane actions, while Acerbus stands there wondering how he ended up in this particular funny farm.

In the end, Acerbus gets his own bit of revenge.

I love the humor in th
...more
Sara Summers
Fantastic short story. I don't normally read many short stories, but I found this one free on amazon and decided to read it last night. it was extremely fascinating tale of how the world was created by a group of gods who each have their own idea on how to create the world. Strangely, the only one who got it right was the god of darkness and destruction. when he is chosen to destroy the world, he comes up with a brilliant loophole to make the world the way it is today.
Pauline Ross
Oct 09, 2011 Pauline Ross rated it really liked it
This was the funniest thing I've read in ages. Anyone who ever wondered just why the Dark Lord ended up in a tower with orcs (and whether his motives are quite as black as they're painted), this book might give you some hints. And it will put a smile on your face - guaranteed!
Kyra Halland
Dec 12, 2015 Kyra Halland rated it it was amazing
Shelves: fantasy, humorous
Discover the true origin of the "farmboy with a destiny" in this tale from the world of Klondaeg the Monster Hunter about the pantheon of gods (including O'Plenty, God of Pots of Gold and Other Treasures, Fromdon, God of Coconuts, and Buti'col [say it out loud; took me a while to get it!], Goddess of Whatever Passes For Love These Days). Acerbus, God of Darkness, tries to avoid carrying out his duty to destroy the world; hilarity and millennia of fantasy tropes ensue. Very funny, and also though ...more
Heathery
Jan 05, 2016 Heathery rated it it was amazing
Shelves: adult, mythology, magic, powers
SO. FREAKING. FUNNY. This is a very short story (26 pages) that is basically about the God of Darkness getting sick of the other gods' shit. They're all idiots, and he can't take it any longer. We see the story from his sarcastic, hilarious mind as he tries to stop the other gods from smiting all the world's races. There are so many funny tidbits in this story. The goddess of "whatever passes for love these days" is named Budi'Col. Booty call. I just... lol I just can't even with this story. It' ...more
Scott
Nov 02, 2011 Scott rated it it was amazing
Smite Me, Oh Dark One is a very quick, hilarious read. When the God of Darkness doesn't want to be the one to destroy the world what happens? He becomes an Evil Overlord with a legion of goblin defenders of course! The story Steve has written was original and amusing and I truly hope to see more work of this nature from him.

It's free! Give it a read and enjoy.
Mia Darien
Jun 10, 2012 Mia Darien rated it really liked it
See my review for this with my review of Klondaeg The Monster Hunter.
Kaotac
Kaotac rated it really liked it
Oct 10, 2011
Daniel J. Weber
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Apr 29, 2013
Same_m
Jan 10, 2012 Same_m rated it liked it

Quick, entertaining read.
Ryan
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Sep 18, 2014
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Dec 08, 2015
Rachel
Jul 25, 2013 Rachel rated it it was amazing
Fantastic! A great, sarcastic short story.
Zach Eddings
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Nov 29, 2011
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