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Created to be His Help Meet

3.7  ·  Rating Details ·  2,496 Ratings  ·  273 Reviews
Somewhere over the passing years and changing culture, women have lost their way. This book is written to lead them back home. Regardless of how you began your marriage or how dark and lonely the path that has brought you to where you are now, I want you to know that it is possible today to have a marriage so good and so fulfilling that it can only be explained as a miracl ...more
Paperback, 297 pages
Published December 1st 2004 by No Greater Joy Ministries (first published January 1st 2004)
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Apr 30, 2012 Jennifer rated it really liked it
I have almost finished with this book. This book is obviously is very conservitive and will probably offend a lot of women. The author didn't write the book to gain approval (through her comments and tone) but to relay truth and experience she has found in scripture and in marriage. I would recommend this book as required reading for every married woman- even if she chucks it across the room because it doesn't fit in with her own feministic ideals.

Personally, this book has boosted my marriage to
Dec 21, 2007 Leighann rated it liked it
I feel Ms. Pearl has great insight into what is lacking in today's marriages. Many "healthy" Christian women have been taught a co-submission doctrine. The problem with co-submission, is it is inconsistent with the analogy scripture sets up of marriage being a picture of Christ and the church. Christ is not co-submissive to us. Additionally, many Christian women interpret co-submission to mean that when in disagreement, they have a right to not 'give in' to their husband's thought process 'becau ...more
Feb 19, 2008 Paula rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: all women who are about to marry or who are currently married
What I liked most about this book was that it opened my eyes that there was more to my part of the marriage than just submission. Being a submissive wife is only one part of the WHOLE of being a help meet to my husband.

There are a lot of really good helpful bits of advice in the book that one really needs to be open to, and prayerful about, in order to benefit from it. Whenever you trust God and allow HIM to change your husband, instead of trying to do it yourself, God will change your husband.
Jun 29, 2008 BL rated it it was amazing
After a lifetime of disappointment and failures in relationships with men, I was convicted to look at myself and see what God wants me to change. It took me a while to get the courage to read this book, however I was determined to make a change to save my marriage. I knew the problem had to do with me stepping into the man's role when I thought he was failing and then being proud about it.
What I learned from this book is that it all boils down to simple obedience to God. You can nitpick Debi Pe
Jan 13, 2009 stacy rated it did not like it
Back in November or December or whenever I tagged this book to read:

I'm putting this on my to-read list because I scoffed at it. I scoffed at online dating, too...I scoffed at David Foster Wallace...I scoffed at The Elliptical Machine...

Then I married the one the other...and actually get a workout.

I've come to realize that my biggest scoffs turn out to say more about me than the object of my derision.

I'll let you know what this one turns up.

Some dude who was quite likable a
Aug 28, 2009 Bethany rated it did not like it
As a friend of mine said after reading this book, it would be more aptly titled, "Created to Be His Doormat."

The irony is that if you dare to critique this book in the presence of its ardent admirers, you will be told that if you have a problem with its message, then YOU are the one with the problem.

The following is one of the more memorable of Debi Pearl's many appalling stories told in the book:

"As a general rule, my husband just doesn't take the trash out.... One day recently my husband saw
Mar 09, 2009 Melissa rated it did not like it
When I started this book, I did so with a day time bible study group and an open mind. Truly there are some helpful nuggets in here, but they were almost completely lost on me because by the middle of the book I had had enough of her self-righteous and harsh criticisms. There was a great lack of love for women in general, her sisters, in this book. I am very hard to insult and my feelings don't get hurt easily, I am a lover of the truth and appreciate the need for the truth to be told, and somet ...more
Apr 19, 2009 Terra rated it did not like it
Recommends it for: No one
Recommended to Terra by: Mother-in-law
Shelves: non-fiction, hated
My MIL gave me this book and it fucked with my head. Okay the rest of that was harsh. So I deleted it.

I'll agree, there are some things in this book that you can take away with you. I've found that by trying to be happier and anticipate some of my husbands needs, our marriage is better. He is then happier and isn't as moody with me. Instead of getting naggy and spiteful, I just walk away and let him calm down. And he is more prone to seek me out and apologize to me for his attitude and actions.
Oct 16, 2012 Jacqueline rated it did not like it

The first time I read this book I was engaged and a little more open-minded to this view on marriage than I am now after 6 wonderful years with my husband. I won't rehash what has been said by so many other solid Christians in response to this book, but I'd highly recommend Tim Challies' review of it if you're looking for another perspective.

Basically, there IS truth in this book, but it doesn't outweigh the damaging advice, degradation of women, and harsh/hateful tone used by the author. I ho
Apr 22, 2009 Dana rated it did not like it
Recommends it for: Nobody
Recommended to Dana by: someone who needed it more than me
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Feb 17, 2011 Libbydale rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: couldn-t-finish
I feel like throwing this book out the window. I was given this book to read, and I haven't finished it. I'm shelving it for a while. I did thumb through it for 3 nights until I found something I thought was particularly useful, which was Chapter 8: "Wisdom to Understand Your Man", which highlights three types of male personalities. You definitely need to have a deep respect for the Bible and accept it as God's truth for your life before delving into this book. The author writes very authoratati ...more
Kristie Kercheval
Feb 22, 2015 Kristie Kercheval rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting, women
I thought this books was just a little horrendous. The light and sweet Victorian-esque illustration on the front belies the course and almost laughable language within.

While I agree with the authors about Biblical submission and being a "keeper of the home", I think there is much in this book that could become a yoke of slavery to young women eager live biblically. Sadly, there is not much about grace in this book or living in light of cross.
Nov 10, 2010 Malia rated it did not like it
Shelves: nonfiction
Having had this book recommended to me, I dove in expecting to be challenged and blessed. While it does contain some excellent principles, I found it to also twist Biblical examples to meet her strict standards. Other reviewers concur that readers need to take in this book "with discernment," and I have a problem with that--as it is meant to instruct women to be godly wives according to the Bible. It is dangerous to give a to-do list that is skewed with opinion and false interpretation of Script ...more
Sandra Lassiter
Mar 09, 2011 Sandra Lassiter rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I gave this 1 star because even though there's a lot of good stuff in there, there's also some "poison" mixed in. Would NOT recommend to young brides unless they were thoroughly grounded in the Bible and able to discern good and the bad in this book.
Aug 20, 2011 Becca rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I do NOT recommend this book. I began the book in anticipation, having heard good things about it from two friends whose opinions I trust. I am very conservative, and I do not disagree with Mrs. Pearl's admonitions to respect and submit to your husband, but much of this book sets my teeth on edge.

My grievances with this book are Mrs. Pearl's consistent hubris and unscriptural assertions. In Mrs. Pearl's opinion, women are at fault for men's sins, from Adam to David (see chapter 11). In contrast
Jane Baldwin
Sep 28, 2011 Jane Baldwin rated it did not like it
Recommends it for: no one
Shelves: christian
Among the many hideous perversions of scripture that this book contains is the assertion that the only purpose for a woman is to serve a husband. I believe the reason God made me was so that I could have a personal relationship with Him. There's nothing in the Bible that tells me that I'm a failure if I haven't married yet.
Nov 21, 2011 Nina rated it really liked it
I started reading this book to see why people were so divided in their opinions of the book, either totally loving the it or vehemently hating it. I went in really open, not expecting to either hate it or love it myself, but just to take what I could from it and leave the rest. When read with this mentality I found that there were many things to take away and apply to my marriage and a few things to just leave to Ms. Pearl's marriage.

I really appreciated the emphasis on attitude, and how having
Cyndi Taylor
Feb 28, 2012 Cyndi Taylor rated it did not like it
Shelves: not-finishing
I will not be finishing this book. Anyone who knows me, knows I hate not finishing books. So this is saying something. I felt that the author demonized woman. Making everything bad that happens in a marriage their fault.
Then, on top of that says that the life of a single mom is full of despair and your kids will dispise you and not know you. Others will have to raise them and you will be destitute and never have anyone there for companionship, to fix things, or to help you in any way. I have
Jul 26, 2012 Bethany rated it did not like it
Recommends it for: No one
This is a poorly written book by a well intentioned fundamentalist Christian. She admits that she is not a professional writer, but she at times says things that can be taken ways that I'm sure she didn't intend which is probably because she published her book through No Greater Joy, which is her and her husband's non-profit, without a good editor. Enough said about that.

Her aim for women to submit to their husbands cheerfully and be examples to younger women are scriptural, but she at times mis
Kris Irvin
Aug 20, 2012 Kris Irvin rated it did not like it
Shelves: bad-books, 2012
Eta: I did end up finishing this book. It was so bad I couldn't put it down. I think the thing that bothered me most in the end was how horribly judgmental and downright nasty Ms. Pearl ended up being. A direct quote:

"...that is what you did with the rejection of his choice of stove. It is no wonder that you are frustrated and 'just plain tired.' I'm plain tired of thinking of the damage you have done and what you have been missing. Your husband is probably tired too: tired of this marriage."

Oct 07, 2016 Anna rated it did not like it
Recommends it for: No one, ever
Recommended to Anna by: My mom
I would give this zero stars if I could. Read six years ago, but I recall pretty vividly - it's a load of misogynistic bullshit.
The basic premise of the book is that a woman's sole purpose in life is to be supportive of her husband. Failing to procreate is sinful, working outside the home, sending your children (you do have more than one, right?) to school instead of homeschooling, missing church, having friends who do not attend your church, wearing your hair short, and questioning your husban
Lynn Joshua
Oct 22, 2016 Lynn Joshua rated it did not like it
Graceless and mean-spirited, Debi forces on Christian women a legalistic yoke that ignores the whole counsel of the Bible.
Instead of showing the fruit of the Spirit, she shows a harsh and critical spirit, she misuses Scripture, and she utterly misses the grace of the gospel. Her ideas are dangerous because she takes some true concepts, mixes them with lies, and calls her way "biblical", so her readers believe that it is found in Scripture and if not followed, will cause them to sin. This is spi
Jan 03, 2013 Sandy rated it did not like it
This book is perfect for people who believe in the Bible and feel that it dictates that wives take on a BDSM inspired submissive slave role and that all husbands are to be dominant masters. The only difference is there's no safeword in Debi Pearl's world, because that would lead wives away from submission and straight to the flames of hell.

I tried to be open minded when I read this book due to some christian friends raving about it a few years ago. Oh. My. God. The tone Debi takes toward her rea
Jan 15, 2013 Faye rated it it was ok
Well, I can see why some people would be offended but certain elements of this book, because it is tough. But the main things I had a problem with was how judgemental Ms. Pearl came off as, sometimes just going off of a single public gesture without knowing the whole story, when I think she could have found a better illustration and spoke the truth in love. Additionally, her advice ranged from good, to very impractical and possibly dangerous! And while it might work for some people, I would use ...more
Spider the Doof Warrior
Why the HELL would you take marriage advice from this crazy harpy? It seems like a how to have a miserable marriage guide instead of something helpful and useful. The Pearls do more damage to families than a parade of gays all wearing large phalluses.

Sweet goddesss's lactating tits I'd rather swim in alligators or sharks covered in raw meat than marry a man who would want me to follow the advice in this book.
Grrrrrr. grrr........

If you want to even CONSIDER reading this book please follow this blog first and see what kind of twisted BS this author puts in her shit.

Apparently I should have stayed with my abusive ex husband because now I am nothing but an unhappy ragged looking poor single mom who will eventually become a lesbian and my children will hate me...Oh and no man will want to be a step father to my unruly brats...unless of course he is a pervert.

I can
Mar 16, 2013 Amy rated it did not like it
I could not get through this book. Even as a woman who sees the value in embracing the role of helpmeet and who has no problem with the idea of submitting to my future husband, this book was a bridge too far. I don't want to toss the baby out with the bath water - so let me say up front that I fully support the message of being a helper to your partner and that a good attitude, thankful heart and joyful spirit can go a LONG way in smoothing the rough edges during stressful times in a relationshi ...more
Nov 20, 2013 Mariah rated it it was amazing
I absolutely LOVED this book! It is one of the BEST books I have ever read!

I love Debi Pearl, she is such a wise woman. I have read many articles by her, and have heard a variety of teachings from Debi. She is such an incredible lady. God has certainly blessed her with wisdom, knowledge, and understanding.

I had previously read her other book, "Preparing to be A Help Meet," but I enjoyed "Created to be His Help Meet," much more. This book is incredible and I highly recommend that every woman read
I threw this book away. I would have burned it but I feared that such a toxic book would produce poisonous ashes. I understand that some women enjoy and feel rewarded by serving their husband as their sole purpose in life. I can't relate but I can accept it but even these women should feel horrified by this guide to how to be a doormat and that if your husband is abusive or even just a jerk that it is your fault and it is your duty in life to change him. The idea that you, as a woman, have your ...more
Jan 08, 2015 Ingrid rated it did not like it
So, I was in Israel and I did not have a bookshelf. However, I had friends. One friend in particular who meant very well and wanted to share a book that impacted her.

Sadly, what she meant for good, just made me sick.

This book could be called:

Created To Be A Victim
or Created To Be His Slave
or How to Create a World in Which Men Are the Only 'Adults.'

I know what Debi was trying to do. I understand her to some point, but that doesn't change the fact that she preaches some very dangerous doctrin
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“Women who can’t be close to their husbands have a propensity to develop a self-absorbing, spiritual intimacy with spiritual leaders—be they men or women.” 0 likes
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