January First: A Child's Descent into Madness and Her Father's Struggle to Save Her by Michael Schofield

Nov 22, 2012 Jessica rated it 2 of 5 stars

Memoirs about extraordinary people rarely fail to interest me, and the plight of January, a girl seemingly born with full blown schizophrenia, is terrible and moving. Sadly, though, both the writing and parenting decisions of father and author Michael Schofield made me want to scream.
Within days of her birth, it's clear that tiny January will be a challenging child: she almost never sleeps and screams incessantly; as she grows, it becomes clear that she is possessed of a strange and brilliant m...more Memoirs about extraordinary people rarely fail to interest me, and the plight of January, a girl seemingly born with full blown schizophrenia, is terrible and moving. Sadly, though, both the writing and parenting decisions of father and author Michael Schofield made me want to scream.
Within days of her birth, it's clear that tiny January will be a challenging child: she almost never sleeps and screams incessantly; as she grows, it becomes clear that she is possessed of a strange and brilliant mind. She learns to read and write as quickly as she learns to toddle, and she can add and subtract before the age of two. At the same time, though, she also exhibits anti-social and bizarre behavior; her father decides that it's due to her genius and devotes himself to coaxing that amazing mind to its greatest fruition. To a certain extent, I understand this, but as the narrative unfolds, what struck me most was that even now, knowing what he knows about his daughter's disabilities and challenges, Schofield seems to double down on and justify his decisions to indulge his daughter's troubling behavior. After January proves unable to sleep, make any friends or attend school due to a shocking range of behavior problems, the Schofields somehow decide that the best course of action would be...to have another child. (At this point, I literally blurted out a "wtf?!" as I read along.) When little Bodhi is born, not surprisingly, January completely and totally flips, attacking the baby and her parents anytime the little guy cries. And within a matter of weeks, January winds up in a mental health facility and the family begins the terrifying journey of discovery about January's condition and fragility. Or rather, they sort of do. Schofield stubbornly continues to think that he and he alone can somehow tame his daughter's illness; even by the end, there remains an undercurrent of denial and narcissism that I found really offensive; he consistently put forth a narrative that made clear his sense of disdain and disregard for most everyone around him, including his father, his wife and his son. I wish January and her family the best, and I recognize they all have been forced into an impossible situation. But by and large, I found the attitude and actions recounted here frustrating and even disturbing. (less)

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Feb 03, 2013 Annie rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, kindle

This book was, hands down, one of the most irritating reading experiences of my life. You know that baby or child on a plan who won't stop crying and flailing around, and you sort of feel sorry for them because hey, flying is weird and upsetting to a child? This book was like a transatlantic flight where you're sandwiched into a middle seat between an uncontrollably bratty child and their parent who doesn't discipline them and instead spends a good solid three hours telling you how smart their p...more This book was, hands down, one of the most irritating reading experiences of my life. You know that baby or child on a plan who won't stop crying and flailing around, and you sort of feel sorry for them because hey, flying is weird and upsetting to a child? This book was like a transatlantic flight where you're sandwiched into a middle seat between an uncontrollably bratty child and their parent who doesn't discipline them and instead spends a good solid three hours telling you how smart their precious little one is.

Jani sounds like a handful and I don't know if her diagnosis is a proper one, but it's clear something is amiss. Despite her behavior being difficult to see past initially, she seems to have a genuinely sweet personality, and the idea that she feels scared, out of control, or like a "bad" child is truly heartbreaking.

Her dad, Michael, as presented in this book seems like a deeply unpleasant person who finds meaning in life by being a martyr. His relationship with his wife as described in this book seems at best awful and at worst emotionally and perhaps verbally abusive. He is obsessed with detailing how special he is; no other parent (even his wife!) can truly understand how hard his life is for him. He also is strangely convinced that only HE truly knows how to parent Jani, only HE can control their family pet, only HE fully accepts and appreciates Jani's intelligence.

Oh, Jani's intelligence. In case you missed it the first few times it's brought up in the book, don't worry, you'll have a couple hundred more opportunities to read all about how Jani is so intelligent and that because she is academically gifted, she has a right to be absolutely atrocious. Those who dislike her bad behavior simply don't understand her GENIUS. Doctors who suggested a firmer hand with her (the result of which was decreased -- though not entirely eradicated -- negative behavior) just didn't KNOW Jani like Michael did, and were too stupid to realize that giving her firm boundaries and rules only hampered her budding genius.

This book isn't about parenting a special needs child, this book is about a really unpleasant person who happens to have a child with special needs.(less)

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Sep 04, 2012 Michael rated it 4 of 5 stars

Right from the day January was born her parents Michael and Susan knew something was not right with her. Janni would have very limited sleep and seemingly endless energy. It was clear from a young age her intelligence was far ahead of other children. As a one year old she was able to speak complete sentences and at two she was able to add and even get right negative numbers while she also had hundreds of imaginary friends. Janni though would never have her friends leave her and when her younger...more

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Mar 06, 2013 Jo Sorrell rated it 5 of 5 stars

Every now and then I picked up a book which so absorbs me I read it almost
without pause. January First was one of these. While it is subtitled A child's
descent into madness and her father's struggle to save her, it is so much more
than that. I first became aware of January (or Jani as she insists on) through
the wonder of daytime television, and when I discovered her father had written a
book I couldn't wait to get it.

From birth, Jani is a challenging child. She never slept for more than 20-30
minu...more

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Aug 29, 2012 Katie rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

Wow...I couldn't put this book down....however....while my heart breaks for this family, I couldn't help but get this skeevy feeling that this father is very comfortable in his "martyr" role. And it also seemed that he AND his wife might have mental issues of their own that have contributed to their daughters problems. After finishing it, I searched around on the internet and found some very interesting things. One is the fathers blog started several years ago. In between updates on his daughter...more

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Aug 12, 2012 Lynne rated it 5 of 5 stars

Absolutely stunning book. If not for life interrupting my reading, I'd have finished this almost 300-pager in one sitting. Still it only took me two days.

Michael Schofield gives a heartbreaking and shocking glimpse into life with a schizophrenic child. His 6-year-old daughter, January (Janni), is diagnosed with childhood onset schizophrenia after first enduring several misdiagnoses and inpatient stays, and being discharged despite lack of improvement. The family's journey is wrought with despera...more

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Apr 06, 2013 Amara rated it 3 of 5 stars

Recommended to Amara by: Goodreads Choice Awards 2012 Nominee

Shelves: 2013, 2013-a-z-reading-challenge, 2013-new-authors-challenge, reviewed

January First was tragic.
There's no other word for a child suffering undiagnosed schizophrenia than "tragic", and reading about a young couple struggling to not only manage their daughter's psychosis but also to get a diagnosis at all is equal parts stressful and heartbreaking.

January First was terrifying.
January First offers a paralyzing glimpse into the United States mental health industry and how it can (and does) go horribly, horribly wrong. If you, like me, have the tendency to involuntaril...more

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Mar 20, 2013 Brenda Ayala rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

Wow. This book really blew me away for a lot of reasons. Right from the beginning, we are thrust into Janni's world through Michael's eyes. The documentation of her struggles to cope with something we don't see is heartbreaking. I'm definitely glad I got this as an Advanced Reader Copy free from GoodReads.

I think part of the reason this appeals to me so much is I know of this family. They live in my town, and I've heard stories of their struggles through friends. All the landmarks in the book ar...more

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Dec 13, 2012 McGuffy Morris rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is the true account of a child tormented by mental illness. It is written with the intensity and emotion that only a parent can feel.

From infancy, Janni had conflicts that other children did not seem to have. She was more connected to her imaginary friends than other children. She was absorbed in a world she called Calalini. As time went on, it became apparent that these were, in fact hallucinations.

Janni's parents, unable to help her, sought counsel and medical advice. Ultimately, they wer...more

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Apr 21, 2013 Jill rated it 3 of 5 stars

January Scholfield is three years old at the beginning of January First. She can read and calculate multiplication and division in her head, and she has dozens of imaginary friends (mostly rats) that come from an imaginary island called Calalini. January, or Jani as she now prefers to be known, requires constant mental and physical stimulation otherwise she doesn’t sleep. Michael and Susan, (her parents) are at their wits end. Suspecting that their little girl has some form of mental disorder, t...more

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Mar 31, 2013 Friend Smith rated it 1 of 5 stars

This book is awful and misleading. if you like reading about real life child abuse in the USA- you'll love this book. I know this couple personally, and have been around since the beginning of this "journey". No one in their extended family speaks with them, out of frustration and disgust. They are two mentally ill people who should not have procreated together. These children are living in squaller; in a horrible living nightmare. I'm so mad at Oprah for giving them some sort of platform - when...more This book is awful and misleading. if you like reading about real life child abuse in the USA- you'll love this book. I know this couple personally, and have been around since the beginning of this "journey". No one in their extended family speaks with them, out of frustration and disgust. They are two mentally ill people who should not have procreated together. These children are living in squaller; in a horrible living nightmare. I'm so mad at Oprah for giving them some sort of platform - when what they needed was help. If Oprah did her research, she would have discovered:

1) Both parents are on a significant amount of drugs, and are intelligent, but extremely mentally ill.
2) Jani was taken by social services due to vaginal damage; and Jani pointed the finger at Michael. Once they got the diagnosis - that accusation were attributed to her "mental disorder" and put on the back burner. (Bodhi now has anal rips, that are being blames on Boghi's "thumb").
3)Susan sits there in denial, in her drugged out fog, feeding the kids fast food at EVERY meal, while she scours the internet 24/7. She literally throws the bag of fast food on the ground and they rip it open like animals.
4) Social services has tried to take the children away several times, but Susan went on a witch hunt, naming specific doctors and service providers on her radio show for "failing her". The Schofields has also threatened legal action. Susan often states that Social Services has her family on "speed dial", and that CPS is now afraid of her.
4) Susan used to drag Jani to acting auditions for YEARS. (Weird if she was an out of control, mentally ill child.)
5) Michael and Susan talks incessantly about who will play them in "the movie". Michael is a failed writer, who found a topic that publishers would pay him for in Jani. Susan had dreams of being a famous radio personality. They finally found fame through Jani.
6) Susan sought out over 60 doctors, telling them Jani was Schizophrenic; until she finally found a quack who would give that diagnosis. (By then, they had Jani on several medications from the different doctors, so I'm sure she looks crazy by then).
7) They started self diagnosing Bodhi immediately. ANY normal toddler behavior was immediately blamed on Schizophrenia or Autism (which they both believed Autism had more of a "mass appeal" because it is so prevalent).
8) When you call CPS, they tell you that they are painfully aware of this case, and have gotten a ton of calls, and that they are working closely with The Schofields.

I'm sure The Schofields will read this, since they ignore their children and google themselves constantly, so here's what I have to say to you two:

Please get help. The fame and money isn't worth it - and in the end, destroying your children for fame will only lead to heartache. Susan, I believe you went straight from postpartum depression to Munchausen by Proxy. I believe that in your heart, you have convinced yourself that you are saving your children, but you are not thinking clearly. Get away from Michael, you are toxic together. Did you see your last video about the "Teal Candy?" Teal Candy is everywhere! - in Starbursts, in taffy, in packaging, etc. By telling Bodhi that it doesn't exist, and then saying he's hallucinating, and then video taping the tantrum, and them constantly bring up the "teal candy" - well this is just child abuse to the extreme. It's obvious to normal parents that you two don't know how to parent at all. Please put these children in foster care, something I would NEVER suggest, unless it was really horrible.

Sincerely,

One of the many people who has cut you two off so that they didn't have to witness severe child abuse.(less)

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Feb 25, 2013 Allison Esson rated it 2 of 5 stars

Although I finished reading this in one day, I have mixed feelings about it. Whilst the child at the centre of the book, Jani, is undoubtedly a tortured soul and woefully let down by the medical profession, her parents did little to encourage empathy. They - especially the dad (author of the book) seem obsessed with Jani's intelligence and genius - her IQ score is mentioned regularly and used to excuse shocking behaviour which should have rung alarm bells well before their second child arrived -...more

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Feb 22, 2013 Krista Stevens rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: adult, non-fiction, on-the-spectrum

A brutally honest look into the world of child-onset schizophrenia. Although Jani is not diagnosed until she is 6, her parents recognize that she has probably been living with hallucinations ever since she was born. It is a eye-opening and at times, frightening look into the world of a violent child suffering the weight of this mental illness. Her parents also suffer especially as they try their hardest to work within and without the system (the system, which is hardly helpful in a repetitive cy...more

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Feb 19, 2013 Alisha rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: e-books-i-ve-read, read-2013, non-fiction, mental-illness

The first word that comes to my mind when describing January First is “honest”. January First is just one very real and honest memoir about a father struggling to deal with his daughter’s schizophrenia. It just has to be an honest book because the author of the book, Michael Schofield (the father of said daughter) comes off as a self-centered, judgmental, hypocritical jerk about 95% of the time. Luckily for him, despite his jerkiness, he comes off as a loving father 100% if the time, which is wh...more The first word that comes to my mind when describing January First is “honest”. January First is just one very real and honest memoir about a father struggling to deal with his daughter’s schizophrenia. It just has to be an honest book because the author of the book, Michael Schofield (the father of said daughter) comes off as a self-centered, judgmental, hypocritical jerk about 95% of the time. Luckily for him, despite his jerkiness, he comes off as a loving father 100% if the time, which is why the jerkiness didn’t dampen my “enjoyment” of the book.

It bears repeating that the dad is self-centered. He’s just so concerned with making excuses for Jani’s illness claiming that her issues are all caused by her genius, that he comes off as annoying most of the time. However, seeing as how denial seems to be the first step parents go through when it comes to problems plaguing their own kids, it was kind of understandable. What was most irritating about him, though, was the constant bashing of his wife’s character. It seems that while she was trying to do the best thing for BOTH her children, Michael Schofield was only concerned about Jani. Again, this is understandable except for the fact that he seemed to resent his wife for this fact. He claims that he’s the only one who’s there for Jani, unconditionally, but it seems to me that his wife did the admirable thing: trying to give adequate attention to BOTH children.

So, if I had so many issues with the author of January First, why did I give it four stars? Well, here’s the thing: this book is INTERESTING! This book is just incredibly compelling. But really it’s the actual idea behind this book that made it so intriguing, yet at the same time so horrifying. Schizophrenia is a terrifying mental illness in adults. Having a child go through all that is not only horrifying, it’s tremendously heartbreaking. And my heart goes out to Jani and her family who are trying to do what is best for her.

Overall, I think January First is an incredibly honest look into what it’s like to have a child with a mental illness. It does have its flaws: it isn’t wonderfully written and through the end it had this sort of novel poeticism into it that made me doubt whether or not things went quite that way. However, it was an extremely compelling read and you do feel for what the family is going through despite the selfishness the author seems to exhibit in the events in the book.(less)

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Feb 09, 2013 Kelly rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: biography-autobiography, family-issues, health-wellness-healing, non-fiction

After I read this book, I wish I had not read others' reviews which prompted me to read the author's blog because this tarnished my view of the book (not the reviews as much as the author's blog). The author obviously reads reviews of his book and comments on the reviews on his blog. I'm not bothered by the author commenting on my review one whit. Rather, I'm dismayed by the author's ramblings in response to reviews; I'm a bit embarrassed for him because he sounds like he's raving in his comment...more After I read this book, I wish I had not read others' reviews which prompted me to read the author's blog because this tarnished my view of the book (not the reviews as much as the author's blog). The author obviously reads reviews of his book and comments on the reviews on his blog. I'm not bothered by the author commenting on my review one whit. Rather, I'm dismayed by the author's ramblings in response to reviews; I'm a bit embarrassed for him because he sounds like he's raving in his comments. I want the author to be above this, but his blog comments paint him in a negative light and the plea for money bothers me as well. I know how hard it can be to hold your hand out and ask for help, so I'm not faulting the family for doing this, but it is awkward.

I have not viewed any of the TV shows this family has been on, but when I talked about the book to friends and encouraged them to read it, quite a few of them had seen the family on the talk show circuit.

But, let me get back to the book and critique only the book. I know there are a variety of ways to analyze literature - sociological, traditional, formalist, psychoanalytical, historical, feminist, etc. I'm going to try to focus solely on the book because the 4 star rating comes from my initial reaction to the book before I researched the author and topic more.

I was gripped by the story and could not put the book down. I stayed up late and read the book in one sitting. I appreciated the author's candid comments even when it made him look like an arrogant ass who thinks no one (including his wife) can care for or even understand January the way he can. Schofield's ego got in the way of my reading sometimes, and I wonder if this alienates other readers? He is too angry sometimes and he comes across as narcissistic too much as well. Frankly, I'm surprised that an editor did not encourage Schofield to temper this in his narration. Schofield's story is passionate, painful, emotional, and so vivid at times that it hurts to read. I know that I cannot begin to comprehend what this family endures on a daily basis, and I cannot imagine how this family manages to stay together. My judgmental self wonders why the couple chose to have another child, but my empathetic side understands their desire to have a "normal" child, one who may temper Janni's psychosis. Ultimately, despite the book's (many?)flaws, what matters most to me is that the story made me think, question my beliefs, research the topic, and suggest to nearly all of my friends that they read the book. As a teacher, if I were to use the book in class, I would need to take into account the author's blog, TV appearances, and interviews when using the story with my students; to do otherwise would be unethical to me. As a personal read, the book speaks for itself. (less)

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Feb 04, 2013 Chris rated it 2 of 5 stars

Hmmm. I sort of feel like I'm walking across a minefield, reviewing this book. People either seem to love it and think that this is the greatest family ever, or that something's really off here. I have to say that I come down on the creepy side. Although I don't doubt their love for her, Jani's parents are never going to win any parenting award. Especially Michael. Talk about some serious denial. There is obviously something gravely wrong with their daughter, but yet he continues to let us know,...more

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Jan 27, 2013 Nicole Byler rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: biographies

This story is horribly heartbreaking and it makes me very thankful to have a healthy child. I wish the very best for the Schofields. It was eye-opening about how terrible the insurance companies are and our healthcare industry as a whole is for kids with mental health issues. I certainly hope this book starts a higher-level conversation.

That being said, something bothered me about the author, Janni's father, the entire book. Actually, both parents. With a very colorful history of mental illness...more

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Jan 12, 2013 Sara rated it 1 of 5 stars

An interesting read but very disturbing, and not for reasons that the author-father might imagine. First, I totally agree that mental health services, particularly for minors with major problems, are woefully inadequate and greatly underinsured, and the support available is greatly handicapped by a poor understanding of serious conditions (e.g., schizophrenia) in young children. Nonetheless, it seemed to me that the author & his wife made a lot bizarre choices and did not wisely use what ser...more

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Jan 03, 2013 Stephanie rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

This review originally appeared at www.readinasinglesitting.com.

Although I read January First late last year, it’s probably apt that it’s my first review for this new year. The book’s title is one of semantic multiplicity: it represents not only one family’s efforts to put their troubled daughter January (Jani)’s needs first, but also the sheer atypicality of January and her needs, as well as the many new beginnings and resolutions they experience along the way. But to be honest, a more apt titl...more This review originally appeared at www.readinasinglesitting.com.

Although I read January First late last year, it’s probably apt that it’s my first review for this new year. The book’s title is one of semantic multiplicity: it represents not only one family’s efforts to put their troubled daughter January (Jani)’s needs first, but also the sheer atypicality of January and her needs, as well as the many new beginnings and resolutions they experience along the way. But to be honest, a more apt title given the book’s perspective would be Michael First. But I’ll get to that in a minute.

From birth January Schofield has been developmentally unusual. Requiring almost incessant stimulation, she’s never slept regular hours, and needs to be engaged by her parents to the point of exhaustion in order to wear down what is seen initially as a sort of emotional and intellectual hyperactivity. When Jani’s IQ is found to be off the charts, her parents think that they’re on the way to understanding just why Jani is so different from other children. But her parents Susan and Michael have differing parenting approaches: where Susan encourages Jani to engage with her peers with a view to her “fitting in”, Michael encourages what he sees as Jani’s whims and eccentricities, which he sees as the product of her brilliance.

The heartbreaking denial that subsequently pervades the narrative is evident from the book’s early pages, where Michael plays along with January’s make-believe games far beyond what might be expected, positioning himself as an appointed protector, someone whose responsibility it is to shield January from a world that will never understand her gifts. January might be brilliant, but there’s something neuro-atypical about her behaviour that borders on disturbing. And with the birth of newborn Bodhi, things only get worse. January’s manic tendencies turn increasingly violent, and the subject of these violent outbursts is almost always Bodhi. Struggling to cope with January’s behaviour while caring for a newborn, Susan and Michael begin reaching out to mental healthcare professionals. They endure a marathon trek through America’s underwhelming healthcare system, being shunted back and forth from institution to institution, all the while attempting to stretch their health insurance to cover costs–and trying to deal with January’s increasingly erratic, dangerous behaviour.

January First is utterly compelling, and if ever there’s a memoir suited for “single sitting” status, this is it. And yet at the same time it’s frustrating on a number of levels: the more distance I’ve allowed to pass between reading the book and reviewing it, the more dissatisfied I’ve grown with it. And it’s not just the sometimes mind-boggling parenting style on display here: that’s not for me to judge. I think in large part it’s that this doesn’t read at all like a memoir, but rather like a novel–although given its bland writing style, one that’s highly reliant on premise. It follows the kind of narrative arc a fiction reader would anticipate, and the way in which the chapters are broken up, particularly towards the end, are almost chillingly redolent of a horror novel. There’s an unshakable sense of this book’s being less than honest, of it being a sort of memoir-style sleight of hand. Much of this is due to the way in which Schofield has positioned himself as a narrator: he’s afforded himself a sort of martyr/hero status where it’s his undying love for January against the world. As a result, his wife, his son, his father, and anyone else appearing in the narrative is portrayed either negatively or in a seriously diminished way, and I found this weird de-emphasis unsettling.

Throughout the book, Schofield speaks of how he wants January to be different, special, a genius who will be remembered by generations to come, and the way that the narrative (for it really is a narrative) plays out, I couldn’t help but feel a creeping feeling that perhaps a good deal of all of his actions–and his writing about them in this book, his blog, and so on–are his way of guiding January in this direction. There’s a scene towards the end of the book in which Schofield undertakes what I’ll euphemistically deem a “cry for help”, after which he abruptly does an about-face, casting himself in a redemptive light. There’s something about the way in which this is written that smacks of artifice, of a story being less remembered than reworked for the glory of posterity, and given this and the angle of the rest of the book, I just felt uncomfortably as though the whole thing was a bit exploitative.

January First is undoubtedly a page-turner, but it’s disquieting as much for its subject as it is for the way (and perhaps the why) in which it’s written. It’s a book you read despite Schofield’s narration, because although the topic is a fascinating one, his narcissistic tendencies and insistence that only he has the answers to helping his daughter–and indeed is the only one who cares enough to do so–may leave you feeling oddly uncomfortable.(less)

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Dec 31, 2012 Roxanne rated it 4 of 5 stars

Before I picked up this book and started to read it, I went to get a box of kleenex. I have watched several TV shows about January and I knew what I was in for. The book is about a family's journey that seems to never end.

If you are ever having a bad day and think your life sucks, read this book and then let me know how you are doing.

The father's style of writing may not be the most gracious, but it is raw and real.

When I finished the book, I was slightly disappointed because I didn't have much...more

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Dec 27, 2012 Marianne rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I read this book in less than 24 hours -- it's a chilling and compelling story. I cannot begin to imagine the pain that this family is in -- it's beyond what anyone should bear. Their fierce love of their children is amazing, in terms of the endless struggle with insurance companies and hospitals and schools, and in their refusal to lose their child to the illness itself -- they see Jani, not the schizophrenia.

I read Schofield's blog today, hoping to learn more about how Jani and Bodhi are doin...more

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Dec 19, 2012 Becky rated it 3 of 5 stars

I heard about this book after the horrific school shooting in Connecticut—not because it's about school shootings, but because it's about a parent struggling to deal with his daughter's mental illness amid a social services system that isn't terribly well equipped to deal with serious mental illness in children. When I heard about the book, I was intrigued, because though this is a work of non-fiction (a memoir, in fact), the behavior of the girl in the book sounded very similar to the behavior...more I heard about this book after the horrific school shooting in Connecticut—not because it's about school shootings, but because it's about a parent struggling to deal with his daughter's mental illness amid a social services system that isn't terribly well equipped to deal with serious mental illness in children. When I heard about the book, I was intrigued, because though this is a work of non-fiction (a memoir, in fact), the behavior of the girl in the book sounded very similar to the behavior of the boy in We Need to Talk About Kevin (which is fiction and does deal with a school shooting). We Need to Talk About Kevin has really stuck with me, so I was really interested to learn how a real-life story would compare.

The thing that really got me about We Need to Talk About Kevin was how heartbreakingly sad and terrifying it was for the mother in the story to come to terms with the seriousness of her son's mental illness and his potential for violence. It's typical for expectant mothers to worry that their children may have Down's, or autism, or that they may be born with some sort of life-threatening health issue. But I doubt most parents have considered that their children could be seriously mentally ill, or violent—a physical threat to them or their other children.

In January First, you watch the father/author go through the process of accepting that his daughter is different, trying to attribute that to all sort of causes that seem less scary than mental illness, and finally his acceptance of her diagnosis—child-onset schizophrenia. Along the way, you read about a very young girl doing things that seem almost unimaginable if you haven't spent time around children with serious mental illnesses. Jani repeatedly tries to attack her brother, who is just a baby. She hits and bites her parents (hard). And she tries to do harm to herself. At the same time, she's unbelievably bright.

I'm not a parent, so it's hard for me to judge, but there were times during this book (mostly before Jani's diagnosis), when I wanted to shout at the author/father because I thought he was being such a dolt as a dad. And at times he and his wife really lose it and they say horrible things to one another and to other people. Some of this is hard to read. But I really admire Schofield for being so incredibly honest about his own struggles and failures as a parent—I think that honesty is what makes this book special. By allowing us to see all the mistakes he made and all the times he nearly gave up, Schofield has written a book that feels very real. It's easy to see yourself in this book, and I can imagine that's a tremendous source of comfort for any parent of a child with serious mental illness. And nearly everyone knows what it's like to face a seemingly insurmountable challenge affecting someone you love very much. I know I do, and I found Schofield's 'warts and all' approach really comforting. A reminder that people who seem to be handling incredibly difficult circumstances really well have likely stumbled and lost hope and done things they regret along the way to getting there.(less)

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Dec 12, 2012 Roxy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs

I finished this book in one day. It is easy to do. The subject is interesting and the writing is straightforward.

There are a lot of reviews that judge actions on the parents. Though I agreed with different people's actions beside the parents in this book, I know I cannot pass judgement. I do not have a child, let alone one with a severe mental illness. I have not met anyone in this book and cannot speak of their character. I only know that all parents make mistake without or without children wit...more

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Dec 05, 2012 Julia Reed rated it 4 of 5 stars

I couldn't put this book down, devouring it ll in one sitting on a very long flight. January First is the story of one family's struggle to deal with their very bright, very sick daughter, who spent most of her childhood being slowly claimed by increasingly dangerous delusions of her own making. January has schizophrenia, but it took a long time for that diagnoses to be reached. Most schizophrenics don't show symptoms until they're in their late teens or early twenties, and the many psychologist...more

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Nov 24, 2012 Lisa Cindrich rated it 4 of 5 stars

Gripping read and, of course, as a parent of a young girl, I couldn't help but imagine how I would have coped (or not) with this sort of crisis. Schofield lets the reader experience the family's own gradual journey from 'our daughter has an IQ of 148 and so of course she doesn't behave in the usual way expected of a toddler or preschooler' to their growing distress as January attacks her parents, dog, and infant brother and rejects the company of real children in favor of what everyone had belie...more

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Oct 17, 2012 Laurie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, schizophrenia

In college and graduate school, I studied psychology, and my main area of interest was schizophrenia. January, the author's daughter, was diagnosed with childhood-onset schizophrenia as a young girl. There have been two documentaries made about January, which is how I first became familiar with her. As in the documentaries, the father is an "open book." His honesty is admirable; he doesn't try to paint himself in a more positive light. Not that he is in any way a "bad" father, but everyone makes...more

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Sep 30, 2012 Allison rated it 4 of 5 stars

So... make sure you read the subheading of this book "A Child's Descent into Madness and Her FATHER'S Struggle to Save Her." When I first picked it up, I wondered, why only her father's struggle? Why not her family's struggle, or at least her parents' struggle? But the subtitle is correct: this is actually more Michael Schofield's story than even January's.

The dad - I was so mad at him. Other people are mad at him because his laissez-faire, oh-she-is-a-genius-and-can't-control-her-behavior attit...more So... make sure you read the subheading of this book "A Child's Descent into Madness and Her FATHER'S Struggle to Save Her." When I first picked it up, I wondered, why only her father's struggle? Why not her family's struggle, or at least her parents' struggle? But the subtitle is correct: this is actually more Michael Schofield's story than even January's.

The dad - I was so mad at him. Other people are mad at him because his laissez-faire, oh-she-is-a-genius-and-can't-control-her-behavior attitude for the first half of the book may have exacerbated his daughter's behavioral problems stemming from her mental problems. I say, I can't judge till I've walked about 200 miles in his shoes. I have no idea what it's like to have a daughter who is so mentally... different... so I'm sure he was doing the best he could. However, I was continually shocked by his treatment of his wife. His literary treatment as well as his actual treatment. He seemed to blame her for everything that was going wrong in their lives, and denigrate her decisions when his would have been different. And then he would, ten pages later, turn around and do the exact same thing he had been denigrating her for, but never acknowledge that oh, now I know why she did it/how she was feeling/perhaps I was hasty to say that everything that is going wrong was her fault.

He does acknowledge that he was often angry at his wife because he *couldn't* be angry at January. But that seems like a lot for his wife to handle. And it seems unfair for him to be so critical of her way of dealing with the situation when she had nothing to do with the book and couldn't give her side. I would have liked to hear how the whole story went from her perspective.

Aside from that, I had a few nitpicks with this book: there were some misspellings (Ghandi instead of Gandhi, for example), and while I originally wondered why January's nickname was spelled differently at different points in the book, that was eventually explained. I still think it would have been a lot more straightforward to just choose one spelling and run with it, though.

I gave it four stars, though, because it was fascinating. Even after reading it, I can barely imagine what her parents' life was (and is) like, not to mention what it feels like to be January or her brother Bodhi. I read the whole thing in about three hours, and I would recommend it to anyone who is interested in learning more about childhood schizophrenia.

(less)

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Sep 14, 2012 Meghan rated it 1 of 5 stars

I really didn't like this one. It irritated me the whole time I was reading it. Yes, this girl obviously has psychological problems, but I don't think his bizarre parenting style helped matters at all.

He starts off being completely lax with her. She has no rules because he doesn't want her to feel confined to societies rules, well guess what? If you don't teach your kid how to follow societies rules, SHE'S NOT GOING TO FOLLOW SOCIETIES RULES! Such as not being rude at a friends birthday party (...more I really didn't like this one. It irritated me the whole time I was reading it. Yes, this girl obviously has psychological problems, but I don't think his bizarre parenting style helped matters at all.

He starts off being completely lax with her. She has no rules because he doesn't want her to feel confined to societies rules, well guess what? If you don't teach your kid how to follow societies rules, SHE'S NOT GOING TO FOLLOW SOCIETIES RULES! Such as not being rude at a friends birthday party (when the mom tries to stop her from being rude to a parent at a birthday party, he gets mad at the MOM), or not letting her pull toys off a shelf and throw a tantrum about it (he makes excuses why he can't control his daughter from doing it because she's "too fast" or will run out, when he KNOWS that's what she is about to do. If you know that's what she's about to do, and she is FOUR than block her! You are the ADULT!). Then when he finally is told by a psychiatrist that he needs to set some boundaries, he takes in in the exact polar direction not even letting himself say he's proud of her when she has a good day at school! It is EXASPERATING!

He also blames talking to her as an adult from an early age, as not setting enough boundaries. No. I've always talked to my kids as adults and explained/"taught" them things, and my kids still understand how to behave like civilized people. They still get rules that have to be followed, but instead of "because I said so", they get an explanation as to why it's unacceptable.

Again, I'm not saying that this brought on her schizophrenia. I just don't think it could have helped with her regular behavior either. I really couldn't get behind this guy or his wife. I felt bad for the daughter, and would have liked it if they had taught the reader more about schizophrenia other than just assuming we had done all the online research they had done too. That's kinda why I read the book, to learn more about childhood schizophrenia. So much for that.(less)

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Aug 28, 2012 Elsie Love rated it 5 of 5 stars

I Admit, I've been a bad, bad girl. I have read many books since the last time I posted a review; and not a one has made it on this blog, to my Amazon review page, or any other sort of media. I'm not proud of my lack of structure; in fact, I've been hiding my head in shame since early May, wondering if I will ever finish my fourth book's edits, send my first book into a reprint or get my second book away from my first publisher (who I've come to despise). At first I made light of my moral failin...more I Admit, I've been a bad, bad girl. I have read many books since the last time I posted a review; and not a one has made it on this blog, to my Amazon review page, or any other sort of media. I'm not proud of my lack of structure; in fact, I've been hiding my head in shame since early May, wondering if I will ever finish my fourth book's edits, send my first book into a reprint or get my second book away from my first publisher (who I've come to despise). At first I made light of my moral failings, pretending I would soon snap back into action. It wasn't until very recently (as in yesterday) that I actually began to see the pinprick of light at the end of the tunnel that has become my life and I decided, without any more delays, to force myself back to work.
But why? What could have kept you from writing for so very long...and why, when you are finally creeping back into the world of creative writing, would you chose to do it with a book review?
The answer is simple: I chose this book, and this review, because like the Schofield family, I have a child who suffers from a major mental illness; and after several years of riding the roller coaster, being derailed from every path I ever foresaw, watching the best laid plans turn to ash and trying to decide who to tell and who to hide from, I finally decided I just don't care what people think.
Scratch that. I care very much what people think--especially when it comes to my friends and loved ones.
The misconceptions about schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders are abundant and spread like fire through the Redwoods. In our society the word 'psychotic' is used interchangeably with the term 'serial killer' and after incidents like the James Holmes/Colorado tragedy...well you can see why most people who suffer from hallucinations aren't quick to come out and dispel the myth of all schizophrenics being violent. The ones who are often have been victims of long standing glitches in our mental health care laws. The ones who aren't cringe when bad news related to schizophrenia erupts, hide their heads and pretend to be typical (if they can).
But just as I'm feeling alone, doomed to hide, stigmatized and ashamed, along comes this tiny, blond pixie--just a wisp of a person--with the voice and courage so many of us lack, speaking freely about her challenges (If you haven't caught her story on Discovery Health, I'd highly encourage you to do so. It is worth your time) shouting through the megaphone held by her parents, Susan and Michael, forcing the world to hear...
Let's just say, suddenly my fears seem downright ridiculous. Jani is only ten. I have three additional decades of 'wisdom' to her one. What the heck am I hiding from?
People fear what they don't understand. The time has come for people to understand the truth about schizophrenia. Not what is portrayed in the movies. Not what the lamestream media wants to publicize, but The Truth, all of it, even the parts that aren't pretty (not many are).
Go on, say the word. Let it roll around on your tongue a bit before forcing it past your lips into the open air.
Feels weird, doesn't it? Not so bad, right? Now, try to attach it to someone you love: your best friend, your sister or (God forbid) your own child. Ask yourself this: if my child were suffering, what would I want the world to know about them? How would I want them treated? How would I cope? Who could I trust? Where would we go? How would we function in this place where people shield their eyes and run?
Bet you can't even begin to guess. I'm going to go so far as to say, I bet many a reader will pick this book up, read a few chapters, form a few misguided opinions about bad parenting, set it down and thank their lucky stars that it isn't THEM who is affected--it isn't THEIR child lashing out, talking to trees (or dogs or unicorns or demons or...pick your poison here) lost in the world, relying on psychiatry to catch up to the rest of modern medicine and praying people will be kind.
But it could be you. If it could happen to Jani, the offspring of two intelligent, loving parents who doted on her and held every aspiration of sending her straight to the top to take over the world, it could happen to you. It happened to me. It happens every day, to families everywhere who feel they have to walk around stigmatized for a biochemical grenade which buried itself in their loved one's brain and blew up when they least expected it.
And that, my reading friends, is exactly why you need to read this book.
Not only is it well written, it is gritty, raw and truthful. It doesn't paint mental illness in any light other than the one that illuminated the Schofield family. And their light, no matter how much it dimmed, never went out.
Instead it became a beacon of hope.(less)

5 likes · like · see review

Aug 28, 2012 E.B. Loan rated it 5 of 5 stars

I Admit, I've been a bad, bad girl. I have read many books since the last time I posted a review; and not a one has made it on this blog, to my Amazon review page, or any other sort of media. I'm not proud of my lack of structure; in fact, I've been hiding my head in shame since early May, wondering if I will ever finish my fourth book's edits, send my first book into a reprint or get my second book away from my first publisher (who I've come to despise). At first I made light of my moral failin...more I Admit, I've been a bad, bad girl. I have read many books since the last time I posted a review; and not a one has made it on this blog, to my Amazon review page, or any other sort of media. I'm not proud of my lack of structure; in fact, I've been hiding my head in shame since early May, wondering if I will ever finish my fourth book's edits, send my first book into a reprint or get my second book away from my first publisher (who I've come to despise). At first I made light of my moral failings, pretending I would soon snap back into action. It wasn't until very recently (as in yesterday) that I actually began to see the pinprick of light at the end of the tunnel that has become my life and I decided, without any more delays, to force myself back to work.
But why? What could have kept you from writing for so very long...and why, when you are finally creeping back into the world of creative writing, would you chose to do it with a book review?
The answer is simple: I chose this book, and this review, because like the Schofield family, I have a child who suffers from a major mental illness; and after several years of riding the roller coaster, being derailed from every path I ever foresaw, watching the best laid plans turn to ash and trying to decide who to tell and who to hide from, I finally decided I just don't care what people think.
Scratch that. I care very much what people think--especially when it comes to my friends and loved ones.
The misconceptions about schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders are abundant and spread like fire through the Redwoods. In our society the word 'psychotic' is used interchangeably with the term 'serial killer' and after incidents like the James Holmes/Colorado tragedy...well you can see why most people who suffer from hallucinations aren't quick to come out and dispel the myth of all schizophrenics being violent. The ones who are often have been victims of long standing glitches in our mental health care laws. The ones who aren't cringe when bad news related to schizophrenia erupts, hide their heads and pretend to be typical (if they can).
But just as I'm feeling alone, doomed to hide, stigmatized and ashamed, along comes this tiny, blond pixie--just a wisp of a person--with the voice and courage so many of us lack, speaking freely about her challenges (If you haven't caught her story on Discovery Health, I'd highly encourage you to do so. It is worth your time) shouting through the megaphone held by her parents, Susan and Michael, forcing the world to hear...
Let's just say, suddenly my fears seem downright ridiculous. Jani is only ten. I have three additional decades of 'wisdom' to her one. What the heck am I hiding from?
People fear what they don't understand. The time has come for people to understand the truth about schizophrenia. Not what is portrayed in the movies. Not what the lamestream media wants to publicize, but The Truth, all of it, even the parts that aren't pretty (not many are).
Go on, say the word. Let it roll around on your tongue a bit before forcing it past your lips into the open air.
Feels weird, doesn't it? Not so bad, right? Now, try to attach it to someone you love: your best friend, your sister or (God forbid) your own child. Ask yourself this: if my child were suffering, what would I want the world to know about them? How would I want them treated? How would I cope? Who could I trust? Where would we go? How would we function in this place where people shield their eyes and run?
Bet you can't even begin to guess. I'm going to go so far as to say, I bet many a reader will pick this book up, read a few chapters, form a few misguided opinions about bad parenting, set it down and thank their lucky stars that it isn't THEM who is affected--it isn't THEIR child lashing out, talking to trees (or dogs or unicorns or demons or...pick your poison here) lost in the world, relying on psychiatry to catch up to the rest of modern medicine and praying people will be kind.
But it could be you. If it could happen to Jani, the offspring of two intelligent, loving parents who doted on her and held every aspiration of sending her straight to the top to take over the world, it could happen to you. It happened to me. It happens every day, to families everywhere who feel they have to walk around stigmatized for a biochemical grenade which buried itself in their loved one's brain and blew up when they least expected it.
And that, my reading friends, is exactly why you need to read this book.
Not only is it well written, it is gritty, raw and truthful. It doesn't paint mental illness in any light other than the one that illuminated the Schofield family. And their light, no matter how much it dimmed, never went out.
Instead it became a beacon of hope.(less)

like · see review

topics	posts	views	last activity
Bookworm Bitches : April 2013: January First: A Child's Descent into Madness and Her Father's Struggle to Save Her	72	117	May 20, 2013 08:22pm
Read It Forward: * JANUARY FIRST by Michael Schofield	3	44	Oct 23, 2012 03:43pm
Mental Illness Ad...: New Schizophrenia Book	1	15	Aug 05, 2012 02:38pm

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January First: A Child's Descent into Madness and Her Father's Struggle to Save Her

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