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How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
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How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

4.22  ·  Rating Details  ·  11,519 Ratings  ·  1,313 Reviews
The ultimate “parenting bible” (The Boston Globe) with a new foreword—and available as an ebook for the first time—a timeless, beloved book on how to effectively communicate with your child from the #1 New York Times bestselling authors.

Internationally acclaimed experts on communication between parents and children, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish “are doing for parenting t
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ebook, 368 pages
Published February 7th 2012 by Scribner (first published 1980)
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Katie
Feb 27, 2009 Katie rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Should be subtitled, "Baby Boomer Parents Backlash Against Harsh Old-School Discipline." If you weren't the kind of parent to call your kids names or whup them one on the rear end in the first place, this book has little to offer you but either validation or frustration. I was looking for a book that would help me communicate better with my very stubborn 2.5 year old, and while the cartoons in this book were pretty entertaining, they didn't do much more but revisit the obvious. Don't live throug ...more
Janet
Mar 16, 2008 Janet rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: children
A friend, a previous yeller, recommended this book. I found it very helpful, especially since we just had our second child who had colic and the 6 year old and I were no longer communicating well.

It teaches a way to talk that names emotions, and acknowledges the emotions that often a child cannot articulate.

For example, instead of saying "You shouldn't be mad at your brother, he's only three!" you say "I can see that it makes you angry when he messes up your things. But yelling is not allowed
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Brian
Jul 20, 2007 Brian rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Oh dude this book is awesome! It's intended as a guide for parents and educators to help them communicate with kids, but instead I got my hands on it when I was about nine years old, and it helped me refine my own immature communication skills. A life-changing book for me, for all the wrong reasons.
Vanessa
Apr 20, 2008 Vanessa rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
There is good advice in here if you don't already employ many of the suggestions herein. Since I already do, I didn't find it any sort of revelation. I read it in the hopes of finding a way to make my 4-year-old listen to me on the subject of "DON'T RUN AWAY FROM MOM AND DAD, PARTICULARLY IN A CROWDED PLACE - IT IS NOT A GAME", but was disappointed to find no help on that front. I'm afraid "Sweetie, please don't run away - it makes us worried" and "How do YOU think we can help you to stop runnin ...more
Alexis
Mar 25, 2009 Alexis is currently reading it  ·  review of another edition
I read this book about 5 years ago. At that time the boys were 3 and 1. I appreciated the book then, but absolutely adore this book today. This book was first published in 1982, but when it comes to parenting I think that the really good advice is timeless. In re-reading "How to talk..." I am discovering that many of the times when I am most effective/happy with myslelf as a mom I am using the principals that I read in Faber and Mazlish's wonderful work. The book is an extraordinarily valuable t ...more
غيداء
حينما تقرأ خاتمة هذا الكتاب ستعرف بأنه "باكورة" مشروع لن ينتهي، ومشاريع تمت فعلا. كتاب واقعي بمعايير عالية جدا بسيط في أسلوبه صريح وقوي في مواجهته لعيوب التربية مميز في وضعه لتمارين داخله يمكن تنفيذها بكل سهولة. دليل عملي لابد من الرجوع إليه عدة مرات. يواجه الأهل بضعفهم و يرشدهم لطريقة تدارك الخطأ. هذا الكتاب لابد أن يُدَرّس ويُحَوّل لدورات تدريبية مستقلة ومتعددة.
Fotooh Jarkas
It's more effective than a medical prescription!!
Very simple cards of instructins make you feel better about yourself and your child
It gave me the feeling that everyone can be perfect parent , but we have to keep it in mind :)
HAPPY READING
David
Jul 14, 2016 David rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves:
VERY applicable whether you're dealing with a 3-year-old, your spouse, your boss, or your 80-year-old neighbor. This is one of my most recommended books to families doing therapy.

I actually currently use parts of this in group therapy sessions to teach adolescents in a therapeutic boarding school how to handle family conflicts. And we do role-plays based on its comic-strip-style illustrations and draw application to their every-day lives. It's so successful, they want me to tell their therapists
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Colleen
May 03, 2010 Colleen rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Read this. Reading it again. And again. And again.

A powerful tool. Recommended by my pediatrician to help us communicate more effectively with our ADHD twin boys. But this is a great resource for all children and their parents.

Quick and easy to read. Not too dry or preachy. Timeless advice.

Other reviews have suggested this book is for "REALLY bad" parents who don't have "a clue" how to speak to their children. Or that this book will teach you "emotionless parenting" and fails to address how and
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Nathalie
Dec 18, 2012 Nathalie rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2012, woman
Don't believe people reading on their Kindle in the métro are only 50-Shades types, they may simply hide that they are reading self-help or parenting books. I was actually quite ashamed of reading this one, which I got as a Daily Deal on Amazon. It turned out to have extremely ugly cartoons, commonsense principles ("it may not be that good an idea to hit your child") and relatively good advice. As the title suggests it's all about unprejudiced communication between parents and children. You may ...more
Om Mohammed
Jun 13, 2016 Om Mohammed rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
من أجمل الكتب التربوية الي قرأتها و اثر في تفكيري تاثير كبير
كتاب سلس ..سهل،.ممتع في قراءته
كله تجارب و أمثلة واقعية من مواقف الاباء مع أبنائهم وتطبيقهم للمهارات الموجودة في الكتاب و نتائجها
فيه تمرينات على كل فصل للاباء على استخدام المهارات
و مدعم بصور توضيحية لأمثلة للمواقف بين الاباء و أطفالهم و ما هو التصرف الصحيح و الخاطيء في كل موقف
استمتعت و استفدت جدا بقراءة الكتاب
انصح به بشده لكل من يتعامل مع الأطفال
Sonya Feher
Philosophically I agree with the discipline practices this book explains, but the examples with parents smacking their kids or labeling them with words like "greedy" felt so extreme that it was sometimes hard to read through it to get to what the authors advocated one should do. I did appreciate the tips pages on helping children deal with their feelings, engaging a child's cooperation, alternatives to punishment, and alternative to "no". The chapter on praise is one of the best explanations I'v ...more
Marcie
Apr 24, 2010 Marcie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I haven't even finished this book but I had to return it to the library (BOO) so I'm going to buy it. Becuase it's THAT good.
After reading the first two chapters I'm already hugely more aware of how I talk and listen to my children. Using the techniques in this book I have stopped tantrums before they could begin and have seen conversations with my kids miraculously changed.
I'm not even kidding.
I would recommend this book to anyone. We've even seen the principles work great with our three year
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Rasha Kurdi
Aug 22, 2009 Rasha Kurdi rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
يمتاز هذا الكتاب بأسلوب رائع موجز ورسوم كاريكاتورية لطيفة توصل المعلومة بطريقة مبتكرة ولا شك أن في الكتب المترجمة ما فيها من مخالفات تفرضها مجتمعات الغرب الغارقة في وهم الحرية .. لكن الكتاب يقدم أسلوبا ممتازا لاحتواء الطفل والتعامل مع مشكلاته بمهارة.
من أروع الكتب التربوية المترجمة ..
Annie
Apr 11, 2016 Annie rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Yeah, it’s a gimmicky “read me read me, make me a bestseller!” title, but I liked this book and think it’s a solid approach to communicating with children.

Too many people have grown up emotionally stunted and unable to understand, discuss, or direct their own emotions as a result of communicative mishandling by parents, teachers, and other guardians when they were children.

I know how hard it is, in the moment, to say anything other than “I don’t care who hit who first/put your tears away this
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Doc Opp
Dec 26, 2015 Doc Opp rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I was given this book as a gift and I don't have kids. So, I'm probably not the intended audience. That said, the writing was easy to read and get through, and the advice seemed generally sound. If I ever have kids some day, the lessons I learned might be very useful. Hard to know, since I don't have a lot of experience with children.

The advice in the book was derived from counseling sessions helping parents with children who were having serious behavioral problems. While the authors argue that
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Clare Cannon
Jan 25, 2012 Clare Cannon rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
This book offers great, common sense advice. It focuses on communication between parents and children, something that is so essential to your relationship. The whole book is great, but I particularly like the cartoons which show you two alternative approaches to a conversation, one where parent and child are talking at each other and end up at odds, and the other where they are listening and responding and end up on the same side. Check out the 'turtle' cartoon - it's priceless.

I also loved its
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Shauna
Jun 11, 2008 Shauna rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Any parent
Recommended to Shauna by: A child psychologist
I love this book! It was recommended to a room of teachers by a child psychologist who said that she recommends this book to any parent who walks through her door. I can see why. It is easy to read and understand. It uses common sense practices -but better help one to see them.

Basically, when I employ these practices -we're a happier family. When I don't -I go re-read the book. This stuff even works on strangers kids. It's really about a way of looking at and talking to children that respects th
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Elena
I honestly grabbed this book because it was on the buy two, get one free shelf at Barnes and Nobles, and I figured, eh, why not? In the end, I think it is one of the best books on basically communication that I have ever read. There are so many good strategies, and frankly you can use them with your kids and with EVERYONE. I think it is especially applicable to elder care as well. I am actually really surprised that as a teacher I had not stumbled on this book yet because I think it is really he ...more
Anina
Jan 08, 2009 Anina rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
Cute cartoon strips make it a non stressful read. A discussion on helping children talk through their problems to come to solutions. This treats interacting with children as an art form and is not a parenting book with hard and fast rules.
Brian S
A bit of a mixed bag. It has some useful insights and ideas that I want to try out, but also is heavily in the lets collaborate with our kids to see if we can come to a mutually agreeable solution camp, which I have yet to buy into.

I tried some of the techniques in the book in the following scenario: My 9 year old daughter often leaves the sink a mess after brushing her teeth. I would normally just tell her, "go clean out the sink" and she would, possibly accompanied by a roll of the eyes or at
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Emily
Jun 08, 2009 Emily rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
At some point of desperation I put several books on parenting on hold at my library. Due to varying degrees of popularity they've trickled in one by one and I've been reading a parenting book about every 3 to 4 weeks. I was a little tired of it by the time I got to this one, but because it took me so long to get it on hold I thought I'd go for it.

This long story was to say-I loved it!

It was positive, upbeat and very helpful. I can't identify with the extremes they use in this book but I still c
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Natalie
May 12, 2010 Natalie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was an easy read but had practical information. I totally subscribe to this type of parenting, it's just really hard to do (although makes life easier in the long run). I loved the applicable ideas and the reasoning behind it. It is important to treat kids like they are real people that matter instead of delinquents that need to be put in their place. I was a little embarrassed to note how much I sounded like the tyrannical mom but pleased that there were several ideas I had already impleme ...more
Tori
Feb 13, 2016 Tori rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
One of the most important books I have ever read in my life. Hands down the best parenting book I have ever read. David is currently reading it and commented to me this morning "Now I know where you got all the things you say to the kids!" I use the techniques in this book constantly, absolutely all day, every day.

A must read if you are interested in positive discipline/respectful parenting, or just getting along better with your children.
Kelsey
Feb 22, 2015 Kelsey rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
25 years after it being published, the advice in this book still applies. It was a book to read a chapter at a time and then spend some time pondering. I've already found myself using some of the techniques and look forward to using them more with my kids. Highly recommend for parents who want to decrease the yelling and increase the positive communication.
Maggie
Nov 22, 2011 Maggie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I think the lives of many would be much-improved if everyone read this book & applied its principles to all relationships: with children, adults...with everyone! I'm currently still in that painful place of merely recognizing all the mistakes I make when communicating w/kids...not yet having much success with modifying my behavior. It's definitely a journey!
Annie
Jun 08, 2014 Annie rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I'm not much for having a parenting philosophy and I despise most mommy blogs and advice columns. My daughters most excellent preschool teacher recommended "How to Talk.." as a guide to approaching toddlers, teenagers, husbands, and friends, so I gave it a whirl.

First off, if you are a busy parent, you can gain sufficient information to better your life in an hour or less of reading. The cartoons are fantastic.

Speaking of the cartoons, they haven't yet played out in reality as they do in the b
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Ioana Johansson
For me this is definitely a 5 stars book. Because I have a temper, because I never thought about how I would react in different situations with the kid until now and because I had a slightly different upbringing.
I have already decided on what type of parenting I want to use but I had no idea, before this book, about the actual, practical words/situations/actions and now I do. It is too early to apply but it will be kept at hand for when the situation arises. And if in the end we will notice tha
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Janet Deaver-pack
This is the book that people with mothers like mine who always gave put-down or combative reactions to whatever we did or tried to do wished they'd read while we were growing up. Thoughtfully written and lovingly delivered, the changes in communication open such a wealth of doors it boggles the mind. I find myself thinking "Did I give my student the right choices?" during tutoring sessions. I'm going to run to my local library to order another title from these authors, HOW TO TALK SO KIDS WILL L ...more
Casey Miller
Mar 12, 2015 Casey Miller rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was a great book. The things that they recommend seem almost obvious, but when I thought about how I would actually react to a situation in real life I realized how counter-intuitive they are. Some of the wording they choose when giving examples is a little outdated and unnatural (Like saying to your kid who came home on time "Boy, now that's what I call punctuality!"), but if you look past that the underlying concept is solid. The structure of the book is great too - they give you the over ...more
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Adele Faber graduated from Queens College with a B.A. in theater and drama, earned her master's degree in education from New York University, and taught in the New York City high schools for eight years before joining the faculty of the New School for Social Research in New York and Family Life Institute of C.W. Post College of Long Island University. She is the mother of three children.
More about Adele Faber...

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“I was a wonderful parent before I had children.” 30 likes
“When we give children advice or instant solutions, we deprive them of the experience that comes from wrestling with their own problems.” 5 likes
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