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The Sociopath Next Door

by Martha Stout

3.65 · rating details · 3,121 ratings · 606 reviews

Who is the devil you know?

Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband?
Your sadistic high school gym teacher?
Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings?
The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own?

In the pages of The Sociopath Next Door, you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He’s a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? T...moreWho is the devil you know?

Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband?
Your sadistic high school gym teacher?
Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings?
The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own?

In the pages of The Sociopath Next Door, you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He’s a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too.

We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.

How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.

The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.

It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.(less)

Hardcover, 256 pages

Published February 8th 2005 by Broadway (first published January 1st 2005)

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Oct 08, 2008

Osho rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: sociology, psychology, disappointing, 2007

+ Case studies illuminate the range of expressions of sociopathy

- Overgeneralizations abound, factual errors, contradictory interpretations of behavior

I rarely pan books. Even when I was reviewing for Publisher's Weekly, I tried to emphasize the good points of the books. It seems irresponsible to identify good points in The Sociopath Next Door without pairing them with their caveats. This is unfortunate, because Stout's case studies are vivid and, while not particularly c...more

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Jan 27, 2012

Stephanie rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: psycology

There's a whole lot of fear mongering going on here.

The Sociopath Next Door, I'd give it 2.5. I keep going back and forth between 2 and 3 stars. According to Martha Stout, just about everyone knows a few sociopaths.......DUH. I know two people for sure that I used to work with....they were chilling. I may even be related to one. But the author gets a little dramatic. Yes, these people are ruthless, they don't care about anyone's feelings (they really don't have many of their own...more

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Feb 28, 2009

Laura rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction

You know that neighbor of yours who ignores you when you say hello to him in the hall? Well, he might not be just a garden-variety jerk -- he may be <cue scary music> A SOCIOPATH!! In fact, four percent of the United States' population is composed of sociopaths. You know what this means, don't you? TROUBLE!!

That might as well be the flap copy of Martha Stout's book, which doesn't seek to enlighten so much as to inflame. Stout throws out a lot of scary-sounding statistics cobble...moreYou know that neighbor of yours who ignores you when you say hello to him in the hall? Well, he might not be just a garden-variety jerk -- he may be <cue scary music> A SOCIOPATH!! In fact, four percent of the United States' population is composed of sociopaths. You know what this means, don't you? TROUBLE!!

That might as well be the flap copy of Martha Stout's book, which doesn't seek to enlighten so much as to inflame. Stout throws out a lot of scary-sounding statistics cobbled together with some vaguely philosophical maundering about the nature of conscience, presents a bunch of unpleasant characters purportedly drawn from real life, and informs us that sociopaths are freely interspersed among us, trying as hard as they can to ruin our lives. All is not lost, though, as Stout also gives us a list of 13 rules we can use to thwart the sociopathic horde -- some of which, such as "The best way to protect yourself from a sociopath is to avoid him, to refuse any kind of contact or communication," might be of limited use if the person you're dealing with is, say, your boss (a likely scenario, if you take Stout's thesis seriously). She then ends the list with "Living well is the best revenge." Uh, what?

To make matters worse, a glance at the end notes reveals that Stout bases her conclusions on statistics gathered from old studies -- the book was published in 2005 and a lot of the source materials are dated 1997 and earlier -- which makes you wonder about the basis of her conclusions. Stout doesn't help her argument by using composite characters, at least one of whom (the aforementioned nasty neighbor) appears to be completely fictional. Another supposed case study, while perhaps based on a real person, is obviously mostly fictional, as Stout purports to tell us what exactly what the person was thinking when she did so and so a terrible thing to such and such an innocent victim. The reader is left wondering why, if this problem is so widespread, Stout couldn't have presented her audience with some real people.

The most interesting and enlightening parts of the book are Stout's recounting of other studies -- for example, the famous Milgram experiment. Stout also presents an interesting discussion of the difference between sociopathy and narcissism. But these brief glimmers of interest provide nowhere near enough basis to slog through this whole book. (less)

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May 09, 2008

Julie rated it

· review of another edition

Recommended to Julie by: Mom!

Wow--4% of those around us are...sociopaths! Don't read this book if you have a tendency to be paranoid. I'm now looking around me now wondering, "Is SHE a sociopath? Is HE?"

A sociopath is someone without conscience (in short, they cannot love or attach value to other living things). One WITH conscience cannot fathom what this might even be like, and "sociopath" seems like such an extreme label, so the non-sociopaths rarely identify sociopaths as sociopaths ("...more

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Feb 10, 2008

Matthew rated it

Shelves: non-fiction

If given the opportunity to read a text about sociopathy and its prevalence, don't bother reading Stout's work. Instead, read "Without Conscience" by the psychologist Hare. Hare's work on sociopathy is notable in the field, and after reading it, you will be shocked to notice that entire sections of "The Sociopath Next Door" appear to be lifted from "Without Conscience," slightly reworded, and placed into the text. "The Sociopath Next Door" is still an i...more

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Apr 28, 2009

Petra X rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: 2009

I'm on page 50 of The Sociopath Next Door. Its like my mind goes blank faced with any kind of self-help book. Perhaps, even with my appalling criminal neighbour I'm beyond redemption. I cannot finish this book. Hell, I can hardly start it. Its sitting in my kitchen window so if the psychopathic neighbour decides to break in again she will see it :-)

I'm giving it another go.

Update: My only way of annoying my neighbour (I'm neither a criminal nor a psychopath) was revvin...moreI'm on page 50 of The Sociopath Next Door. Its like my mind goes blank faced with any kind of self-help book. Perhaps, even with my appalling criminal neighbour I'm beyond redemption. I cannot finish this book. Hell, I can hardly start it. Its sitting in my kitchen window so if the psychopathic neighbour decides to break in again she will see it :-)

I'm giving it another go.

Update: My only way of annoying my neighbour (I'm neither a criminal nor a psychopath) was revving up my jeep outside her window for a minute or two and it drove her insane. :-) Eventually her boyfriend came out and threatened to throw a rock through the windscreen and when my son objected to his behaviour he picked up a bigger rock and told him he would fuck-him up if he went to the police. We had the police up within the hour. A stupid man he phoned the landlady to complain and she told him that since he didn't live there or pay rent there he had no right to complain. The landlady then phoned the neighbour who presumed I had complained, the boyfriend not having wanted to confess his ignominous dismissal by the landlady, and said it was all a lie, I had made it up. She also quite gratuiously told the landlady that the only reason she had taken my cat was that I put it in the back of her car and it woke up eight miles later and scratched hell out of the boyfriend so they threw it out of the car! (Anyone with a cat knows the cat would have scratched them to death by the bottom of the drive). The landlady said that it was the boyfriend, not me, who had phoned her and that she was a liar and gave her notice to leave.

That was back in November. She's still there. Hides her car and pulls her blinds down in case a lawyer comes to serve her papers. The landlady says she has a lawyer but since she lives on a different island she hardly ever comes over to see what is going on. I don't care, the neighbour is so frightened she hides behind her pulled-down blinds and restricts her mischief to keying mine and another neighbour's vehicles. I could live with it.

But I don't need the book anymore and so I've given it up.(less)

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Jul 30, 2008

Bob rated it

· review of another edition

This book has sparked more re-evaluation by me than any other book I've read for quite some time. The good news is that 96% of people have a conscience. The bad news is that 4% don't, and they can be a real problem, especially because their destructiveness may go undetected for some time. The author postulates that conscience is based on the ability to have emotional attachment to other people. Sociopaths are incapable of such attachments. They see other people as objects which are to be dominat...moreThis book has sparked more re-evaluation by me than any other book I've read for quite some time. The good news is that 96% of people have a conscience. The bad news is that 4% don't, and they can be a real problem, especially because their destructiveness may go undetected for some time. The author postulates that conscience is based on the ability to have emotional attachment to other people. Sociopaths are incapable of such attachments. They see other people as objects which are to be dominated or manipulated. Sociopaths are capable of simulating positive emotions when it suits their manipulative purposes. The classic example is the abuser who tries to get the victim to pity and forgive the abuser: "I am so tormented by tormenting you!" -- NOT. In fact, a constant appeal to pity and sympathy is put forward as one of the most telling signs that one is dealing with a sociopath.

This is all complicated by the fact that sociopaths are often quite charming (manipulation, remember?) Unlike people with attachment disorder who are incapable of charm. But a sociopath can be ruthless when it serves their interests and they think they can get away with it. So, a sociopath may be well-liked in public and hated by those in private life who are toyed with to satiate the sociopath's relentless crusade against being bored. The sociopath doesn't feel bad about the victims, unlike a narcissist who feels bad if other people don't like the narcissist as much as the narcissist does.

Since starting to read the book, I've been looking at all of my friends and family (and myself) as if with new eyes. That some people who I know are sociopaths would go a long way to explain some of the behavior I'd otherwise be at a loss to explain. I might have considered the possibility sooner had I known that sociopathy occurs so frequently.

The book contains much interesting info, including how to recognize and deal with a sociopath. The only part of the book that dragged for me was The Origins of Conscience, but luckily it only drones on for fifteen pages. The rest of the book I found to be very interesting.

Okay, now that I'm on guard against sociopaths, the next book I need to read is how not to be paranoid!(less)

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Apr 25, 2008

Mark rated it

· review of another edition

So I picked up this book because I heard somebody saying that "some of the traits of a sociopath aren't that bad." Then, that same day I saw this book so I bought and read it on a whim. Not that anyone cares. Anyway, Stout - probably as she intended - writes with a clinical voice even when she is trying to be personable. It can be annoying at times, but, in the same way, it is very good writing for communicating her thoughts. She makes the argument that sociopathy is far more preva...more

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May 17, 2008

Panther rated it

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Shelves: top-5-2008, psychology

I wish that every mood, developmental, personality and every other kind of disorder catalogued by those wonderful folks over at the DSM had a book written about it the way sociopathy does. I'd like to read like a billion page DSM where every single disorder had a nice book like this under its heading. First on my wishlist would be borderline personality disorder. Then Aspberger's.

In fact this book, writing-quality-wise, is sort of on the level of a stretched-out Newsweek article, ...more

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Jul 21, 2011

Shell rated it

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Recommends it for: Everyone

Shelves: favorites, psychology

Let me begin by saying, I'm not a psychologist and honestly, I know very little about it. I took two psychology classes in college years ago and that's about the extent of my knowledge. I did, however, love this book. It was comprised mostly of case studies and Dr. Stout's 25 years of experiences dealing with clients who have been affected and harmed by sociopaths in their lives. It discusses how manipulative, deceitful, charming, personable and fake a sociopath can be and the lengths one wo...moreLet me begin by saying, I'm not a psychologist and honestly, I know very little about it. I took two psychology classes in college years ago and that's about the extent of my knowledge. I did, however, love this book. It was comprised mostly of case studies and Dr. Stout's 25 years of experiences dealing with clients who have been affected and harmed by sociopaths in their lives. It discusses how manipulative, deceitful, charming, personable and fake a sociopath can be and the lengths one would be willing to go to get what they want. Whether it be the power of getting others to respond and do as they wish, dominating another, controlling another or getting good people to doubt themselves. Whatever the case may be, a sociopath does it with a plan in mind. He or she knows what they want and what will give them a moment of feeling power over another.

I've always believed that there is a little good in everyone. At some point in everyone's life they did at least one good deed. Maybe they smiled and said hello to an old woman who was feeling particularly lonely one day, or made a child laugh, or comforted a dying parent. I still believe that, despite the knowledge that it may not be true, because some actions are not about how it made the person doing it feel, but how it made the other person who received the action feel. Even a sociopath could unknowingly make someone's day.

This book discussed how 1 in 25 people is a sociopath. 1 in 25! That's a number far greater than I would have assumed had I been asked how many sociopaths I thought there were in the world before reading this book. Sociopaths are individuals without a conscious, ones with the ingrained inability to do what many of us do naturally, to love. Dr. Stout also gives examples and ways in which those with a conscious can recognize the sociopaths they come into contact with and protect themselves against them.

After reading this, I've discovered two things. One, I'm lucky and very grateful to have a conscious, to be able to love, to enjoy just listening to my child laugh or hearing my husband snore (What? It's cute!), or being able to derive pleasure from a simple conversation with a good friend. The second thing I learned is that regardless how much it is said that you should not pity a sociopath, because pity is one of the major tools used against those with a conscious, I still do. To live a life without ever really caring? Without ever really being able to love? What would be the point?(less)

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Aug 15, 2011

Orsolya rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: the-brain

I once dated a boy (he is certainly not worth calling a “man”) who was a drug addict, physically and mentally abusive, sex-obsessed, and a cheater. Basically, every single bad trait rolled into one. Somehow, he had an undeniable charm and was able to hide his crazy pills until I was in too deep (by deep, I mean having quit my job and moved in with him per his persuasion). After about a year of pure hell, day in and day out of him having the nerve to tell me that I’m the crazy one; I suddenly wok...moreI once dated a boy (he is certainly not worth calling a “man”) who was a drug addict, physically and mentally abusive, sex-obsessed, and a cheater. Basically, every single bad trait rolled into one. Somehow, he had an undeniable charm and was able to hide his crazy pills until I was in too deep (by deep, I mean having quit my job and moved in with him per his persuasion). After about a year of pure hell, day in and day out of him having the nerve to tell me that I’m the crazy one; I suddenly woke up and realized that something is wrong with him. Perhaps I should have taken note when his aunt told me he had been in and out of rehab in the past.

Long story short, we broke up and it took me many months to heal from the broken pieces. More so than a “normal” break-up, I was suffering from picking up the pieces of physical and metal abuse, unemployment per his whim, and being upset at myself that I “fell” for him in the first place. Self-pity at its finest. During this time, one of my neighbors handed me this book and I am 100% sure that this ex of mine is a sociopath.

Granted, I had some issues with book. A quick read, at times moving as quickly as a fictional novel; and not a good one at that. I expected deep scientific research, experiments, and proven hypotheses but instead found the book to be more of the author’s opinions based on previous studies. That is all well and said, but I like to read backup information. Some of Stout’s “stories” were even based on hypothetical characters and situations. Situations, which are written on an elementary-level.

My biggest pet-peeve is that her annotated usages are short and much outdated. I recall being in school and having the teachers jarringly state that we can’t use sources which are more than a year old. Apparently, Stout never had any of those teachers. Information and scientific research changed daily so I can’t just accept her sources which were almost a decade old.

Despite my complaints, this book does succeed in opening one’s eyes to possibility that sociopaths surround us in our daily lives. A terrific introduction book, if you will. Regardless of solid facts or not, this book described my ex to a ‘T’ and that is all I needed to know that I wasn’t the crazy one.
(less)

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Booksdingle Oh this sounds familiar....I was once in a very similar relationship, not abusive but definitely with a sociopath....don't beat yourself up about it, ...more
Jan 20, 2012 02:56am

Orsolya Thanks for the support and kind words! Honestly, it wasn't even just that I glossed over his bad traits; I was so blinded that I didn't even see the b...more
Jan 20, 2012 10:51am

Jun 29, 2011

Grace rated it

· review of another edition

The Sociopath Next Door
by Martha Stout

A few months ago I was given the opportunity to read “The Sociopath Next Door” and before doing so I chose to look it up on Goodreads, to see what my fellow readers thought of it. The reviews were not encouraging. I looked elsewhere for something to read. Then, a few days ago a family member bought the audio book version (from iTunes), and I had nothing else to listen to while gardening. I’m deeply glad that fate intervened.

I c...more

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Sep 19, 2008

Tracy rated it

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I read this book last month to help me be able to identify people who will try to hurt me.

That sounds paranoid!

I deal with the near-public on an almost continuous public, however, and that "public" quickly becomes the group of folks I deal with every day of the week. I have to work with them closely, I have to try to teach them, and I end up living with them in my head for those seven days of the week.

It's not the best thing for me to do, but it is what h...moreI read this book last month to help me be able to identify people who will try to hurt me.

That sounds paranoid!

I deal with the near-public on an almost continuous public, however, and that "public" quickly becomes the group of folks I deal with every day of the week. I have to work with them closely, I have to try to teach them, and I end up living with them in my head for those seven days of the week.

It's not the best thing for me to do, but it is what happens. They pop up in my mind.

At the end of all this, they get to decide if I gave them a product that was worth their money: Am I a good professor? Would they buy the product again?

Unfortunately, some of these people are callous. They don't care whether how they treat others in my class or me is beautiful, ugly, hurtful, responsible...in short, they don't care about anyone else.

I do not believe they are all sociopaths, but they verge on it - they head towards this lack of civility as so many of us do in this city that is losing its civility.

This book seriously helped me. It helped me watch out for the signs of true sociopathic behavior. It helped me be able to not worry about whether I care about these people. It helped me come up with a plan for how to deal with one of them if I end up having to work with one.

It helped, also, sort through the various kinds of sociopaths. They are not all murdering, drooling, Dr. Hydes. Instead, they charm, are witty, and they do everything they can to make you do exactly what they want. Since the simply do not care what you actually feel about them, so long as you do what they want, they act without regard for how you might feel. They count on your doing the "right" thing, the "caring" thing. If you do the thing that protects yourself, they don't care about that, either.

They can be next door, they can be at work, they can ruin your life. It's a great book, and it ultimately helped me feel much better about my own choices of caring, which I had not expected. Her argument about why it's wonderful to NOT be a sociopath is a jewel.(less)

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Dec 10, 2007

Jim rated it

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At first, this book made me paranoid and depressed. Can it be true that 4% of the population has no conscience at all ?! That's 1 out of 25 people! I wanted to know more about who determined this statistic and the tests used to detect sociopathy. Rather, the author takes sociopathy for granted and goes on to describe its implications. Coupled with Stanley Milgram's experiments, which deterimined that roughly 2 out of 3 people will obey authority over conscience, it offers an explanation for ma...moreAt first, this book made me paranoid and depressed. Can it be true that 4% of the population has no conscience at all ?! That's 1 out of 25 people! I wanted to know more about who determined this statistic and the tests used to detect sociopathy. Rather, the author takes sociopathy for granted and goes on to describe its implications. Coupled with Stanley Milgram's experiments, which deterimined that roughly 2 out of 3 people will obey authority over conscience, it offers an explanation for man's inhumanity to man. At periods throughout history, ruthless sociopaths seize power and use a culturally-ingrained fear of authority to make essentially "good" people do horrible things to each other. Accepting sociopathy means accepting that there are "evil" people in the world (created by some mysterious process of nature and/or nurture) who cannot love and exist only to dominate others. What's worse, most of these people are extremely hard to detect. They are often charming and use flattery rather than force to achieve their ends. They are incredibly adroit "actors." This is a hard pill to swallow for optimists like me who want to believe that every person has at least the potential for goodness. I was left wondering why sociopathy has to be black or white. Can't we talk about a spectrum of thought and behavior, with people falling all along a continum? I'm glad I read this book through to the end because it becomes, more that anything else, an ode to love. The author raises the question, what would you do if you could do anything at all and never feel any guilt or shame? How would your life be different? She argues that conscience is not something that arises from fear or obligation, but from empathy and compassion. People who can't experience this connection live shallow and meaninless lives, and , though they rise swiftly to power, they fall just as swiftly. I wondered if sociopathy could extend beyond people into systems. Perhaps we are currently living through a sociopathic phase, or game, that began say about 6000 years ago, with the birth of "Civilization," really just a miniscule portion of humankind's time on the planet. (less)

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Jun 15, 2008

Meredith rated it

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According to Stout, 4% of Americans are sociopaths. That's a terrifying--and perhaps exaggerated--1 in 25. Born without conscience, sociopaths wreak havoc on our families and communities. Why? Because such people do not feel any gut sense of moral obligation to others based on bonds of common humanity. Lacking the capacity to love, sociopaths experience life as an empty game of manipulation, control, destruction, and often, in the end, self-destruction.

What's scary isn't the hor...more

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Mar 04, 2008

TC rated it

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Recommends it for: anyone who has ever felt manipulated or targeted by someone

Recommended to TC by: This is Audible

Shelves: audiobooks, non-fiction, changed-my-life, thought-provoker, must-read

This one was a real eye opener! According to the author's research 25% of the people living in the USA are sociopath's (that's 1 in 4 people!) The purpose of the book is to explain the dangers of dealing with sociopaths and how to recognize them. She includes some disturbing information about the average person's psychology along with information about how much the sociopath differs from the "normal person". I learned a lot about psychological manipulation and our tendency to make ...more

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Aug 02, 2008

Terrance rated it

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Liked it. It was good for a brief overview on the antisocial personality disorder. But I felt many of the stories were inaccurate representations of sociopaths. The authors seems to understand the concept of sociopath well, but doesn't realize that most of those with this disorder aren't highly sophisticated (I'd figure most would fall under the abrasive or underachiever type, and only a few are like "Skip").

So in my opinion, Ms. Stout makes incorrect assumptions, that...more

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Jul 26, 2011

Kipahni rated it

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Shelves: 2011, publiclibrarybooks, we-are-all-mad-here

1 in 25 is a sociopath, I am going through my goodreads friends and decided you are the one.

No really..."hide ya wife, hide ya kids...."

This book leans more on sensation than science. Using more of anecdotal incidents than science journals. However I like the what-are-
you-going-to-do-about-the-sociopath-in-your-life section. Which baisically comes to avoid and set up boundaries. I am pretty sure I know at least 2.

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Jul 24, 2009

Sally rated it

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Shelves: psychology-consciousness

A psychologist's slow-paced but informative book about the 4% of people who are not capable of forming emotional attachments and connections to others, accepting responsibility, or feeling guilt (no conscience). It points out that the vast majority of sociopaths are never recognized as such, leading ordinary lives while damaging or destroying the lives of those around them. They are very hard to spot; the one possible tell-tale sign is constant plays for pity, which causes others to excuse th...more

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Jun 21, 2007

KIM rated it

Shelves: non-fiction

Marth Stout contends that 1 out of 4 people is a sociopath. However, most do not murder others-- simply because it doesn't suit their purposes to do so. When you consider the number of people out there who DO murder and that most murders are committed not by strangers, but by people known to the victims, it becomes believable. When I read this book I began to think of all the people I know who seem to be able to lie so smoothly and do things to hurt friends and family members so easily and ca...more

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May 28, 2008

Cindy rated it

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A valuable piece of information to possess in today's world. These people operate on a level of cunning and deception that normal people would not even consider. It's important to know that there are among us those who have no soul and do not make decisions based on anyone's feelings but their own. If you don't think that way, you don't suspect them. And they are masters at being charming, helpful, generous and sensitive while they are figuring out where you are vulnerable. Then... POW! You say ...more

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Aug 14, 2011

Don added it · review of another edition

Most people think of sociopaths as murderers, rapists and the like. In the book teh sociopath next door the author suggests that like almost any personality trait sociopathy can be a matter of degree. Ms. Stout suggests that while sociopaths can certainly be charectarized by shared traits, most centrally a lack of conscience, the behavior of sociopaths can range from homicidal to merely annoying. This of course opens pandora's box as it gives ammunition to all those who would like to charact...more

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Jul 23, 2011

Cecilia Solis-sublette added it · review of another edition

To me this book was a nice follow-up to the _Science of Evil_. In this book, we are presented with a more scientific understanding of conscience and what it means for a person to not have one. Stout explores the idea of cultural influence, biological factors, and upraising, We also learn about what makes sociopathy different form other social disorders and those differences are quite interesting - the total lack of emapthy and ability to feel emotion for another; the inability to love or form g...moreTo me this book was a nice follow-up to the _Science of Evil_. In this book, we are presented with a more scientific understanding of conscience and what it means for a person to not have one. Stout explores the idea of cultural influence, biological factors, and upraising, We also learn about what makes sociopathy different form other social disorders and those differences are quite interesting - the total lack of emapthy and ability to feel emotion for another; the inability to love or form good relationships with others; the complete and utter lack of remorse for wrongdoing; the ultimate goal which is to only serve the self. Interestingly, sociopathy is culture-bound in that there seem to be more sociopaths in Western civilization than in places like East Asia and Hindu India? Why? The author claims that it may be because our culture values some of the sociopathic/psychopathic traits that allow them to thrive (individualism, apathy, winning at all costs). In cultures where community and interconnectedness are valued and more readily enforced, Stout has found that sociopaths are diagnosed and treated a lot more readily and are not as well-tolerated, thus forcing them to live on the fringes of those societies as opposed to letting them run the society. The author also talks about sociopathy in the military and sociopathy in leadership. While sociopaths may live the "good" life for awhile, she finds they are, most often, doomed to self-destruct and can never truly find what they are looking for. Finally, the connection between social science and theology is also explored as a valuable means for understanding conscience/empathy. Those with sociopathy are incapable of empathy. Can conscience be muted or ignored? Absolutely. Persons can be persuaded to ignore theirs and to turn theirs off for a specific amount of time. But, unlike sociopaths, conscience will regularly return when the person who is muting/ignoring theirs is removed from the situation that is causing the situation. This is why soldiers can kill without "becoming" sociopaths; it is why those under pressure can be ordered to commit autrocities - and, later, emerge with their conscience intact. And, in a culture that is anxious about economic recovery and the price of gasoline, citizens can absolutely be persuaded to mute their conscience and look out for self over the common good. Definitely an interesting read.(less)

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Feb 09, 2009

Kristi rated it

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I thought this was a useful book that can explain anti-social personality disorders in a straightforward way that a layman can understand. It's short and I've used this information to in turn derive specific examples in explaining sociopathy to others. Everyone should read this because you will recognize those puzzling people you've wondered, "What the..." because their behavior didn't make sense, their motives seemed unclear and therefore were confusing. Sociopaths do not run on the s...more

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Jan 27, 2009

Margaret rated it

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This book was awesome and bone chilling. I recommend for all people to read as we come across these folks on an everyday basis (some of us seem to attract them more than others). But like I always say, knowledge is power and if there is someone in your life who makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up...protect yourself (rather than lash out...you will always lose). THis book is empowering really. It also helped me realize that there are so many of these folks in positions of power (...more

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Jan 18, 2009

Polly Trout rated it

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I definitely recommend this book, but it also left me with more questions than answers, and there were some elements of her argument that frustrated or troubled me. A sociopath (also called a psychopath, or somebody diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder) is a person without conscience, someone who cannot feel love, remorse, or shame. Roughly 4% of Americans can be diagnosed as sociopaths. Stout is a respected researcher and clinical practitioner, and although this is a brief, popular in...moreI definitely recommend this book, but it also left me with more questions than answers, and there were some elements of her argument that frustrated or troubled me. A sociopath (also called a psychopath, or somebody diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder) is a person without conscience, someone who cannot feel love, remorse, or shame. Roughly 4% of Americans can be diagnosed as sociopaths. Stout is a respected researcher and clinical practitioner, and although this is a brief, popular introduction, it intelligent and research-based. According to the DSM-IV, sociopaths are have at least three of the following characteristics: failure to conform to social norms, deceitfulness, manipulativeness, impulsivity, failure to plan ahead, irritability, aggressiveness, reckless disregard for safety of self and others, consistent irresponsibility, and lack of remorse after having hurt or mistreated another person. Stout departs from the DSM-IV and argues that the fundamental character traits of the sociopath are the inability to feel love, lack of conscience, boredom, manipulation of sympathy for personal gain ("the pity play"), and treating others like objects rather than human beings. Stout argues that sociopathy is genetically inherited, untreatable, unredeemable, and that the the only defense against sociopaths is to avoid them like the plague. She also argues (effectively, I think) that only some sociopaths are violent and predatory; others are passive and parasitical.

I have met sociopaths who fit Stout's description, and agree that avoiding them is almost always the best plan. But still, the book leaves me with a lot of unanswered and troubling questions. The research Stout quotes suggests that while sociopathy is partly genetically inherited, culture and environment also play an important role. I've also read research studies elsewhere that while the majority of sociopaths are untreatable, a solid minority, perhaps 25%, do improve in longitudinal studies. Stout draws a very black and white line between sociopaths and "the rest of us," and unapologetically demonizes and dehumanizes sociopaths -- yet she also discusses the fact that when ordinary people hurt others, the two most common reasons for the cruel behavior is following the lead of a trusted authority, and dehumanizing the out-group that is under attack. So there's a weird paradox in dehumanizing the sociopath -- they are dangerous, but still human, so when we treat them as devils rather than human beings, we are feeding into the moral failure that we condemn.

So yes, most of the time the best strategy when you meet a sociopath is to run like hell -- but we can't always do that, because they don't disappear, they just move on and prey on the next person down the road. Only 20% of the people in prison are sociopaths, the rest are decent people who made bad choices or who are just being screwed over by the system. Most sociopaths are smart enough to stay within the law and many rise to positions of power -- many CEO's can be diagnosed as sociopathic. So I'm wondering, how can we encourage people who are born with a genetic predisposition toward sociopathy to develop social and emotional skills that rein in their destructive tendencies? And, how do we limit the social power of sociopaths so that they do not end up in positions of authority, poisoning the ordinary people who are under their sway?

I suspect that rather than being an either/or situation, sociopathy is a spectrum disorder and there is a wide array of ability levels along the compassion vs. ice cold malevolence spectrum. It is difficult or even impossible to make good psychiatric diagnoses bases on symptoms, and I suspect that some of the people who are diagnosed as sociopathic do have rudimentary abilities for forming emotional attachments, but are deeply damaged and developmentally delayed in the limbic system. For these people, ironically, the only hope they have of getting better is to experience a single loving relationship, which they can then use as a model for emotional growth. But they are also very dangerous, and exhausting, and it is easy to put a lot of time and energy into someone in this category and feel like it has been totally wasted, because any growth that happens is extremely slow and only emerges over years or decades.

If you do find yourself dealing with someone with zero conscience/ability to love, or extremely damaged and remedial abilities. it is extremely important to NOT LET THEM MANIPULATE YOU OR TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU. Partly for self protection, and because your resources will make more of a difference in the world if you give them to decent people who are struggling towards love and compassion. But mostly, because when you allow someone to hurt you and use you, you are feeding their sickness and making them worse. It's like giving crack to an addict, or a gun to a child throwing a tantrum. You will get hurt, you are also making the sociopath more sick and dangerous by feeding the downward spiral, and therefore creating more danger for all the other people down the line that the sociopath will be manipulating after you. On the other hand, dehumanizing and demonizing the sociopath ALSO aggravates the condition, by feeding into his amoral worldview and strengthening the cognitive feedback loop that he uses to justify his bad behavior. So the only solution is to offer unconditional spiritual love integrated with the moral courage to oppose the manipulative and cruel behavior -- and that's hard fucking work, let me tell you. That's why just staying out of the way is usually the best plan.
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Dec 04, 2008

Catten rated it

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How many people do you know?

How many of them lack a sense of moral responsibility, guilt, or a conscience? Would you know?

Sociopaths, antisocial personalities, dissocial personalities, psychopaths... all describe the same personality disorder, which is exhibited by about 4% of the population. It doesn't sound like much, until you realize that one in 25 people fit the category.

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), anti...more

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Nov 29, 2008

Matthew rated it

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Recommends it for: everyone

Sociopaths-- conscienceless, feeling-less criminals, make up about 4% of the population. EVERYONE has known one. Some of us have had very unpleasant run-ins with and possibly locked horns with one. EVERYONE needs to know how to deal with one.
I think this author makes clear that from a medical perspective, they cannot be cured.
So where do we go from there?
We just have to learn how to deal with it.
The upshot of how to deal with them?
Avoid them, expel them completely f...more

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Feb 14, 2012

Rosie rated it

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If you are interested in finding out about how psychopathy/sociopathy is likely to impact your life, this is the one book you need to read. There are other books out there that focus more on sensationalistic cases - sociopaths who ended up in prison for multiple murders and other violent crimes. But the fact is, for every cold-blooded killer behind bars there are a handful of (equally cold-blooded) everyday neighbors, co-workers, friends, lovers, family members and so on who are wreaking havoc i...more

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Jan 15, 2012

Xenophon Hendrix rated it

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If you know nothing about sociopathy, this book will teach you things you should know for your own self-defense. If that is your situation, by all means read this book or one like it. There are people in the world who leave a trail of devastation wherever they go, and they aren't very much like the psychopaths you see on television. Get yourself some accurate information.

In my case, I have done some previous reading on the subject, so I knew much of the book's factual material alrea...more

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