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When Work and Family Collide: Keeping Your Job from Cheating Your Family

4.15  ·  Rating Details ·  160 Ratings  ·  35 Reviews
Is Your Occupation Also Your Preoccupation?

Let’s face it. With all the demands of the workplace and all the details of a family it’s only a matter of time before one bumps into the other. And many of us end up cheating our families when the commitments of both collide. In this practical book, Andy Stanley will help you...

• establish priorities and boundaries to protect wha
Paperback, 160 pages
Published December 20th 2011 by Multnomah
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This is just what I need! A self-help book written by a mega-church pastor! Originally this book was titled Choosing to Cheat because Stanley suggests you have to ‘cheat’ either work or family so you might as well go ahead and decide where your priorities are and ‘cheat’ at your job for the sake of your family. Waterbrook Multnomah wisely retitled this book for this edition to something less provocative. They did the same thing last year with their release
- I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review. –

Struggling to find a balance between work and family is a difficult position to be in, regardless of whether you're white collar or blue collar (or even a stay at home/work at home parent), and with a husband who works third shift I was intensely interested in some help with finding the kind of balance the author speaks of in this book.

We are told, on page three, that this book "is about establishing pr
May 10, 2012 Andrew rated it it was amazing
In When Work and Family Collide, Andy Stanley described the importance of balancing family life and your work schedule. He has seen the effects of people choosing their job over maintaining a relationship with their spouse and children. At one point or another we have to cheat someone or something somewhere. We can decide to cheat the job or cheat our family. We can't be everything to all people and there is no possible way to be involved in everything. Is working so hard and long hours in order ...more
Apr 14, 2012 Zack rated it really liked it
Shelves: ministry
Too many parents, and men in particular, have neglected their family in favor of advancing their career. This is an epidemic problem throughout America. Parents decide that more things, cooler experiences, and better opportunities are more important to strive after for their children than a vibrant, healthy family that loves one another and loves God. Stanley opens the book by asserting that everybody cheats. By cheating, he means "choosing to give up one thing in hope of gaining something else ...more
Aug 20, 2012 Becky rated it really liked it
Divorce, separation, family breakup, heartache, looking back on life with much regret. These are a few of the things Andy Stanley is hoping to save today’s families from.

Basically the author points out what we all know: there are only so many hours in the day. Unfortunately, a lot of us would like to squeeze at least 36 hours of life into those 24 hours. Since that won’t work, something is always going to be shortchanged. Andy Stanley’s basic premise is: if something is shortchanged while trying
May 14, 2012 Cheryl rated it liked it
Keeping your job from cheating your family—this is the subtitle and it is very appropriate to the content. This is what the author meant by the term “cheating”: choosing to give up one thing in hope of gaining something else of greater value.

I thought the topic was simply and clearly spelled out for the readers with plenty of related stories to illustrate points and to keep it interesting. Starting off with what it means to “cheat” (see above), to why it happens, suggestions to help stop it, mak
Daniel Butcher
Jan 23, 2012 Daniel Butcher rated it it was amazing
Andy Stanley in When Work & Family Collide: Keeping Your Job from Cheating Your Family provides practical and theologically sound advice on balancing home and work life. Stanley notes despite the negative connotations to the word “cheating” that everyone does it. He reframes cheating as “choosing to give up one thing in hope of gaining something else of greater value (Stanley, 1)” The book provides examples of the negative impact on the family lives of many well meaning people who worked ...more
Henk-Jan van der Klis
Mar 01, 2012 Henk-Jan van der Klis rated it really liked it
Previously released in 2002 as Choosing to Cheat, Andy Stanley re-released his message to (potential) workaholics and parents-in-name-only as When Work and Family Collide in 2011. Is Your Occupation Also Your Preoccupation? There are only 24 hours in each single day. All the demands of the workplace, family, hobbies, sports, and church can’t be matched fully. Let’s face it. Work and family collide, choices are necessary. Of all stakeholders, work and family are the most important. When troubles ...more
Brenten Gilbert
If I’m honest, I’ll admit that I cheated both work and family to read this book…

I listen to Andy Stanley’s leadership podcast as well as the “Best of North Point” podcast and one of them recently featured the topic contained within the pages of this very book. And since I work for a company that strongly emphasizes (at least in word if not deed) the importance of a proper “work/life balance,” it really struck me as quite relevant and intriguing. I mean, I’ve heard what the corporate world has to
Jun 27, 2012 Wendy rated it really liked it
This book written by Andy Stanley was released previously titled Choosing to Cheat. In this book Andy talks about the fact that in life we are either cheating our family due to work or cheating work due to our family. He shares about creating boundries and guidlines to protect what you value most...your family. He explains the difference in saying that your family is a priority and actually making your family your priority and gives practical advice on how to do just that.

One might think that t
Jan 18, 2012 Sharon rated it it was amazing
Shelves: first-reads
I won this book as a First Reads winner. My husband read this and reviewed it as follows:
This book is a must read for men and women. If you are 22 and starting a career, (Homemaker or CEO) – read this book. If you are 43 at at the mid-point of your work life – read this book. If you are 63 and getting ready to retire in a few years – read this book. When Work and Family Collide reminds us that the life of a Christ follower is a practical journey of faith. The work God has called us to do is opt
Marcus Lynn
Jun 23, 2012 Marcus Lynn rated it really liked it
Shelves: discipleship
The first time I read When Work and Family Collide: Keeping Your Job from Cheating Your Family by Andy Stanley it was called “Choosing to Cheat.” Somehow in picking up this volume I missed the small print on the front of the book where it said, “Choosing to Cheat.” I felt cheated! I didn’t want to re-read a book that I read years ago! Yet, I really can’t complain because this book was given to me free from the publisher to review. So let me say up front, I’m not a fan of “re-publishing” books ...more
John Ausmus
Jun 18, 2012 John Ausmus rated it it was amazing
Do you have a hard time balancing your work and your family? Is your family life difficult because your work is consuming your time and energy? If so, then I recommend that you read When Work & Family Collide by Andy Stanley. This is a short book, part motivational, part practical steps. What I liked best about the book was the chapter about setting up a test. It seems to me that people are often reluctant to change because of fear of what might happen. Setting up a test is a great way to ...more
Jun 27, 2016 Michael rated it liked it
When Work and Family Collide presents a comprehensive strategy for purposely investing more time with your family. Unfortunately, the focus is far too narrow. Stanley seems to be targeting solely career businessmen who have aren't paid an hourly wage. What about those who work the graveyard shift? What about those who are paid hourly, and can't leave whenever they see fit? I don't mean to slight the book, but it would've been beneficial to have a few more chapters addressing different schedules ...more
Feb 27, 2012 Angie rated it really liked it
Overall a good read. Spiritual, realistic and compassionate. While it won't relieve some of my heavy workload I did flag a few take a ways. Especially in relation to how I can ask and make sure I know how my family is feeling and where we are at emotionally as a family from time to time. As Andy put it some day you'll come home from the office for good and what/who you come home to will be determined by how you live out your priorities between now and then.
Sep 15, 2013 Ed rated it really liked it
The main point of this book needs to be absorbed by every family man or woman who is also in the workforce. As a minister I have seen far too many of my peers view their own families as secondary responsibilites- & I too feel that pull at times. And my occupation is not unique to this problem. Andy has written this very accessible book to help with this.
Feb 21, 2014 Todd rated it really liked it
Andy Stanley does a very good job of leaving out fluff and getting to the point. The book is a quick read and not very dense, but does not pull any punches on asking tough questions and convicting the reader of where they are "cheating" in life. I really enjoyed the use of the story of Daniel as an illustration of how to have difficult conversations that revolve around your convictions.
Jan 18, 2012 Yvonne rated it it was amazing
I won this book through a GOODREADS giveaway. The author, Andy Stanley is a pastor and has written a must-read for working adults trying to juggle their business and family lives. It is a quick read with actual true life situations, in all a great book to bring your family together spiritually.
May 14, 2015 Carrie rated it liked it
Meh. The concept was really good and the book provided some thought provoking conversation in our Community Group. It didn't provide me with enough practical applications. There was a lot of "here is what you should be doing". Left me feeling insignificant with no answers.
Apr 17, 2015 Becky rated it it was amazing
Fantastic read! I had to read it for my Introduction to Church Ministries class. It chocked full of experience and advice for not only those who are married and employed, but for those who plan to be in that situation later in life. I'm thoroughly glad that I had to read the book!
Nate Mcgooden
Oct 08, 2012 Nate Mcgooden rated it it was amazing

Great imagery when Andy Stanley states that we all cheat, it just depends on who/what we cheat on.
Michelle Bodle
Jun 21, 2014 Michelle Bodle rated it really liked it
The only thing missing from this book is abbot more from Andy about how he lived into the steps in his own ministry
Jun 09, 2013 Amy rated it really liked it
Convicting look at our TRUE priorities. And how to set them straight with God's help. I liked the simplicity of its approach but the depth of its potential power.
Gina Wilson
Apr 21, 2012 Gina Wilson rated it it was amazing
Andy Stanley did it again. Thought provoking, inspirational, and a goto book on how to juggle it all and still be number one to your family.
Jan 18, 2016 Josiahmeyer rated it really liked it
Really enjoyed this book. Not just telling us that we need to slow down (duh - we know that!) but laying out an action plan to do so. Highly recommended.
Greg Miller
Feb 11, 2012 Greg Miller rated it really liked it
A stunning premise: there's not enough time for everything, so who's going to get "cheated?" Good examples and scriptural support for taking a stand for your family.
Jeremy Zach

so good. simple, practical and compelling. Andy provides a path on how to manage the difficult tension between work and home.
Christy Ricks
Great book! The title should be "Make Your Family Your Priority - put down all of your gidgets, gadgets, and spend time with your kids."
Ryan Richardson
Ryan Richardson rated it liked it
Sep 24, 2016
Eric Cash
Eric Cash rated it liked it
Apr 25, 2014
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Andy Stanley is the senior pastor of North Point Community Church, Buckhead Church, and Browns Bridge Community Church. He also founded North Point Ministries, which is a worldwide Christian organization.
More about Andy Stanley...

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“So let me take some pressure off. Your problem is not discipline. Your problem is not organization. Your problem is not that you have yet to stumble onto the perfect schedule. And your problem is not that the folks at home demand too much of your time. The problem is this: there’s not enough time to get everything done that you’re convinced—or others have convinced you—needs to get done.” 0 likes
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