Desire: The Journey We Must Take to Find the Life God Offers

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Desire: The Journey We Must Take to Find the Life God Offers

4.07 of 5 stars 4.07 · rating details · 192 ratings · 25 reviews

Can we find a life filled with passion, without being overwhelmed by it?

In "Desire," John Eldredge writes, "There is a secret set within each of our hearts. It is the desire for life as it was meant to be." Yet how do we uncover our desires and learn to decipher them? As Eldredge says, "We all share the same dilemma--we long for life and we're not sure where to find it. We...more

Paperback, 230 pages

Published October 16th 2007 by Thomas Nelson Publishers (first published April 1st 2004)

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Jun 19, 2012 Lauren Hackbarth rated it 4 of 5 stars

I bought this book on a whim and it has been one of those reads that really found me instead of the other way around. There is really no way for me to review this book because I think that Christian literature meets you in the place that you're at and the transformation that your heart undergoes is dependent on where your heart is at that starting point. This book has met me at a low point, but if you understand how low that point is you'll understand how great a blessing the book is. So this "b...more I bought this book on a whim and it has been one of those reads that really found me instead of the other way around. There is really no way for me to review this book because I think that Christian literature meets you in the place that you're at and the transformation that your heart undergoes is dependent on where your heart is at that starting point. This book has met me at a low point, but if you understand how low that point is you'll understand how great a blessing the book is. So this "book review" will probably read more like a journal entry than anything else. Very sorry for that. And sorry for the candid vulnerability that might show through. Vulnerability isn't comfortable, but to talk about this book is to let myself be vulnerable. I hate that.

Lately I've been feeling like I have absolutely no worth in the eyes of other people. And I mean NO WORTH. Underappreciated, misunderstood, not taken seriously, ignored, displaced, just plain not measuring up to people's ideals or my own yardstick, letting down God....the repeating theme here is not being good enough. So I started questioning my place and all the relationships in my life. Things I was sure about I started questioning and the worst part is that I began to think of my own needs and desires as being the furthest thing from anyone's consideration or care and definately something God was ignoring. I was so upset I stopped hearing (or listening for)God's voice and guidance. That was devastating because I rarely don't hear His voice and ever since the day I loved Jesus He's given me the uncanny knack of being able to distinguish Him from all the white noise around me. That's why I've always been so sure of myself and my relationships and where I was headed in my own life. I had to take a step back from those things so that I could A) build myself back up because I knew darn well that nobody else would help me, B)get some perspective and make some decisions and C)find His voice again so that I could be still and know that He's God. Then I took a direction I feel guilty about and have only took once before. Instead of fighting through the pain and frustration and putting on a happy face I took to flight. Suddenly, making others a priority when they only make me an option seemed unhealthy and unfair. I put others off to allow myself time to think. It wasn't an easy thing to do, but a friend of mine that I was talking to about all of this said that although they wouldn't give me advice they would tell me what they were hearing and what they were hearing is that in one case I was putting my hope in others and in the other I would be putting more of it in God. Wanting to focus on God first and then all the relationships, I decided to start with finding things to help me hear Him again. Reading helps and that's when I found this book. It definately wasn't the type of book I was looking for (I bought four others as well)but it was what I needed.

The basic message of this book is that the greatest human tragedy is to give up the search for what our hearts truly desire because it causes us to lose hope. We all have longings and the knowledge that all is not as it should be, yet our reaction isn't to embrace our desires and cultivate them. Instead, we kill our desires because they seem too perfect, too great to accomplish, too good for us or think them unobtainable and then deny those longings and desires and call it the path to maturity and sanctification. We do this because to allow ourselves to desire something more can cause deep pain and disappointment. We let ourselves just "get by" and then we get used to it. We deny ourselves joy and passion and the true contentment and peace that God wants and designed for us to have. We are desire. Jesus was desire. And nothing worth accomplishing or having or holding was ever done without desire. Isn't our greatest discontent and unhappiness, our lack of fulfillment, and our pain and sorrows all stem from our desire to have soemthing and not have it? In John 10:10 Jesus says, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Not all desire is sin. Desire is essential to bringing us life. This book is saying that when we bury our desires, we are saying to God that we think He's too hard-hearted to give us our desires even though that's exactly what He's invited us to do. When we bury our desires or ignore them and call it maturity or sanctification, it's really godlessness.

"To live with desire is to choose vulnerability over self-protection; to admit our desire and seek help beyond ourselves is even more vulnerable. It is an act of trust. In other words, those who know their desire and refuse to kill it, or refuse to act as though they don't need help, they are the ones who live by faith. Those who do not ask do not trust God enough to desire. They have no faith. The deepest moral issue is always what we, in the heart of hearts, believe about God. And nothing reveals this belief as clearly as what we do with our desire."

I believe that quote. I think this book holds some basic truths. I was up almost all night for the past two nights contemplating what my desires are and telling them to God. I want my faith to be worth something. And so I'm going to be vulnerable. Here are my desires:

1. My greatest desire is to be a godly woman. My immediate desire for my relationship with Christ is to hear His voice more clearly and to have the strength to follow Him. I want to give Him control (and that is definately something that I have a hard time handing over). I desire to put Him first and find my worth and identity in Him.

2. Family relationships. I desire to forgive and be forgiven. I want to feel the love of my family. I hope it won't always be dependent on what I can do for them or what they hope to get out of me. Most of the time I feel like they only love me when they need me and that I'm only as good as how much I can give. In five years I've gained the love of three children and been "mom" to them in many ways, but other than that I still don't feel any better or accepted or loved. I want a healthier family dynamic. My desire is to feel about them the way I did ten years ago. Like we meant the world to one another, loved one another and would go to the ends of the earth for one another.

3. I feel selfish just writing it, but I feel the desire to stop trying to fix the addicts and recovering addicts in my life. There are too many of them and their needs are too great for me to handle on my own. And I keep getting handed that responsibility over and over again. It's hard to set up boundaries (let alone a life for yourself)when you have so many that you love with that kind of need of healing. And I'm good at filling those needs and helping them get healed over time with an abundance of love and patience. Yet, there is great cost to me to do it. I'm a bad person for desiring to not do it anymore.

4. Having a part in the lives of children. Children tend to love me and I love them right back. Unlike many adults, a child doesn't have to be of my own body to be loved like my own child (helping to raise three has taught me that). At work there is a lot of love. I walk into work thinking about them, excited to see them, bursting with anticipation at what needs of theirs I can meet that day. I don't hesitate at building them up and loving them and letting them know it. And the more "damaged" the child the more I love them. Most people don't love the troubled ones, but those are the ones I gravitate to naturally and the ones that come to me too. Especially the young lads. They remind me of Dalton, I suppose. If I ever have my own kids I'll consider it a blessing, but if I don't I won't consider my life any less blessed. God gave me the ability to make the world's kids my own and I intend to do it.
Why, just yesterday one of the little boys came up behind me after months of not seeing me, hoisted himself up for the most loving of hugs. He just rested his little face in the crook of my neck and held on. So trusting. So loving. One of the other kids even asked him if I were his mommy.

5. Friendships. I desire lasting relationships where the love I show them is reciprocated. I just don't feel valued. Or like I have any worth in their lives. Lately it seems like they don't have the time or the desire for me. I do have needs, but it feels like they want me when they want their needs met but not when I have need of their friendship. I want friends that truly love me. Friends that see the good and the bad and still want me around. Friends that actually ask me questions about me and my life when we're together. Friends that put in the time and effort even when they don't necessarily feel like it. It's kind of sad, but I know a lot about my friends when they know very little about me. I know I'm a gaurded person, but after trust is established I'll tell them just about anything they might want to know. Some know a few little things, but they don't know the big things like why and how I became a Christian or the influence Dalton has had on my life....why I love him so much that I can't just walk away. They don't know how I've felt about the last ten years or the last intense five years. They don't ever ask about me (not even a simple question about how my day went) and what else am I to conclude but that they don't find me worth the time or effort. I desire good friendships. I'm not trying to seem superior when I say that I'll do just about anything for my friends when they need something. I'll stay up all night trying to show them love and meet their needs. Why doesn't anyone do that for me???

6. Romance. I do want a husband. I'll admit that. It never seemed important before, but when you've opened Pandora's box and you've experienced feelings you never knew you could have you can't completely shut that again. And it sucks. I don't measure up and I never will. I want to be the type of wife God intends for a man to have and I want a husband. That's hard.

So that's it. Vulnerable, right?(less)

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Sep 08, 2011 Joy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: popular-culture, social-commentary, spirituality-morality-philosophy, inspirational, christian

I am a bit of a book snob, especially when it comes to Christian literature (terrible, I know!), and I often look with great derision upon those fluffy "touchy-feely" works of what might be called "inspirational literature". Despite the vague and lofty descriptions that are found on the back-of-the-book-blurb, I ventured into Eldredge's book about human desire, fulfillment, and Christian life. I read his immensely popular "Wild at Heart" years ago when it first came out, and remember having a po...more I am a bit of a book snob, especially when it comes to Christian literature (terrible, I know!), and I often look with great derision upon those fluffy "touchy-feely" works of what might be called "inspirational literature". Despite the vague and lofty descriptions that are found on the back-of-the-book-blurb, I ventured into Eldredge's book about human desire, fulfillment, and Christian life. I read his immensely popular "Wild at Heart" years ago when it first came out, and remember having a positive impression of it. One of my husband's clients, gushing with praise for "Desire", gave him a whole stack of these books (they are actually a reprint, the initial printing being vastly overshadowed at the time by his concurrent "Wild at Heart") for the entire purpose that we might pass them on to the young people with whom we are in ministry. Of course I am always suspicious of gushing. After wading through some of the more vague second-person exposition, I actually became deeply moved by what the author had to share and connected with this book much more deeply than I ever expected. Eldredge shines in many areas in this easy to read book. His discussion is well seasoned with fantastic quotes and insights from past Christian thinkers & writers (from back in the days when those two descriptions always went hand in hand. Is my cynicism showing again?), such as Pascal, Lewis, Chesterton, and George MacDonald, as well as telling quotes from pop culture and mass media icons, and more current authors who are writing about the same phenomenon: the death and burial of human desire. He also begins his book with a deeply moving parable about a sea lion who has lost the sea, which is carried through different chapters as he discusses what has been lost, and how humanity has been dealing with that loss in so many ways: fatalism, despair, shallow substitutions, addictions, denials, and the petrification of the soul in general ennui and apathy. Eldredge's fearlessness in sharing his own experiences with chasing desire and the torments that often accompany the soul made vulnerable in this pursuit are what make this book of real value. Eldredge and his best friend, co-visionary & ministry partner were caught up in the rapture of realizing their dynamic vision when tragedy struck and his friend was killed in a rock-climbing accident in the middle of one of their ministry outings. The despair and grief that accompanied this were just the beginning of his journey. I found what he had to say of significance and value, and full of insight into the nature of who we are as humans made in the image of God.(less)

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Jan 14, 2013 Kristian Kilgore rated it 4 of 5 stars

I will not soon leave behind some of the impressions that this book made on me. Eldredge didn't cover very much new territory in Desire, but his approach made it a very personal book in it's delivery. So much of the book, other than the wonderful draw of quotes and illustrations, came across like a conversation with a counselor or friend.

A good portion of the book's inspiration is drawn from the death of a good friend of the author and from that grief Eldredge dives into an exploration of the d...more

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Feb 14, 2010 Linda rated it 5 of 5 stars

"There is a secret set within each of our hearts. It is the desire for life as it was meant to be." This quote along with this one, describes this book. I found it to be profound and altering how I look at life. "He [God:] gave us a heart that desires deeply, and He uses those desires to draw us to Himself, and to the life He created us to live." We desire life lived to the limit, deep contentment, fullness of life, we yearn and aspire. But we live with disappointment, discouragement, a sense th...more

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Mar 29, 2012 David is currently reading it

Eldredge believes that to have desire is actually desirable, because without it we are never truly alive. Too often we try to downplay desire because of the fear of disappointment. It then crops up in unwanted substitute areas which can cause a variety of problems in our lives. The first part of the book (as far as I've gotten) ends with the statement that we must have live, only try to take it into our own hands.

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Jun 26, 2011 Go2therock rated it 5 of 5 stars

I will be re-reading this one. I have placed a request on Paperback Swap for the accompanying study guide, and am hopeful that it will serve as a solid help to delving deeper within this book.

While this is a great book to read on my own, I think it would be even better to go through with a group. That sort of environment might help to facilitate some of the spark of self-discovery that is prompted in this book to find out who God has created you to be and what His plans for you are.

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Oct 25, 2010 Erika rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

There were some really exhilarating revelations in this book. I have found it to be one of his best. I do believe, however, that the title of this book is a bit misleading. If you are looking for a book about wild, earthly passion, this will steer you in another direction; possibly, the direction you ought to be in.

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Apr 03, 2012 Chris Krycho rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: popular-theology

Better than most of the other things Eldredge has written. Still not highly recommended, exactly, but not terrible for your soul, either. More thoughts here.

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Aug 16, 2011 Rachelle rated it 5 of 5 stars

This was the best book I've ever read. I love all of John Eldredge's writings and so far this book is unmatched. I'm presently reading "Waking the Dead" and it's starting off just as good as I'd hoped.

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Apr 06, 2010 Karina Harris is currently reading it

John Eldredge has become one of my favorite Christian authors. I started this one awhile ago, and lost it (sorry to say)...recovered it recently and picked right back up where I left off.

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Mar 05, 2011 Sean rated it 4 of 5 stars

Loved it...Eldredge is in tune with the deep things of a man's heart. His word choice and depth of thinking can be a little hard to follow at times but the message is true.

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Sep 29, 2012 Tonisha rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book and the study guide are amazing it kind of fell in my lap a few years ago and I'm re-reading to compare my personal growth.

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Jan 23, 2009 Lois rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it flow the issues of life.

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Apr 12, 2013 Stacey rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

It was a slow read, but gave me a lot to consider and think about.

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Feb 16, 2013 Lorraine rated it 4 of 5 stars

Just getting my teeth into John Eldredge.... just starting this one but if it's as good as waking the dead I will be very happy

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Oct 29, 2012 Stu Bicknell rated it 5 of 5 stars

Another great book by John-love his writing

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Nov 05, 2009 Zena rated it 5 of 5 stars

right now- just amazing

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Jul 12, 2012 Alyssa Muender rated it 5 of 5 stars

Life changing book

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Nov 06, 2012 Jane rated it 5 of 5 stars

It's really a hard work on part of the author to come up with such an excellent book. It does dig the very core of human's desire - the need to live in accordance with God's will and ways which so often bombarded by the world's enticing offers for a better life. This book reminds me to desire for the best and what is worthwhile in this once given life.

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Nov 03, 2012 Phoenix Talon rated it 5 of 5 stars

A fascinating and complex look on desire and how it is essential to the spiritual life.

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May 14, 2009 Andria rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book gives me renewed hope...

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Mar 26, 2008 Katie Wornson rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction

Haven't finished yet, but it's about not giving up on what we want just because it seems too far away. For God, things are never out of reach, and He equips us for what He's made us. John writes poetically, and its easy to read.

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Apr 23, 2010 Libbydale rated it 5 of 5 stars

All I can say is that Eldredge has a take on God and life that I've never quite heard before, and it speaks to me. I fly through his books not wanting to put them down. Considering buying this one for everyone I know.

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Apr 03, 2012 William rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Although containing some very spiritual stuff, I feel like you could easily some it all up on one page.

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Jul 22, 2008 Paul rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: michelle

This is an inspirational book, and I keep going to it daily to read short passages.

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May 17, 2013 Randy Ehrler marked it as to-read

May 16, 2013 Robin Maclearn rated it 5 of 5 stars

May 16, 2013 Olyvia Ndinda marked it as to-read

May 14, 2013 Alisa Cross rated it 3 of 5 stars

May 11, 2013 Scott Karan added it

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About John Eldredge

John Eldredge is an author (you probably figured that out), a counselor, and teacher. He is also president of Ransomed Heart, a ministry devoted to helping people discover the heart of God, recover their own heart in his love, and learn to live in his Kingdom. John grew up in the suburbs of Los Angeles (which he hated), and spent his boyhood summers on his grandfather’s cattle ranch in eastern Ore...more

More about John Eldredge...

Books by John Eldredge

Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul

Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul

The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God

Waking the Dead: The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive

The Journey of Desire: Searching for the Life We Always Dreamed of

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“Henri Nouwen once asked Mother Teresa for spiritual direction. Spend one hour each day in adoration of your Lord, she said, and never do anything you know is wrong. Follow this and you'll be fine.” — 5 people liked it

“Simone Weil was absolutely right- beauty and affliction are the only two things that can pierce our hearts. Because this is so true, we must have a measure of beauty in our lives proportionate to our affliction. No more. Much more. Is this not God's prescription for us? Just take a look around.” — 3 people liked it

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