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What I Was

3.49 of 5 stars 3.49 · rating details · 1,854 ratings · 315 reviews

A piercing, magical story about a life-altering friendship

Toward the end of his life, H looks back on the relationship that has shaped and obsessed him for nearly a century. It began many years earlier at St. Oswald's, a dismal boarding school on the coast of England, where the young H came face- to-face with an almost unbearably beautiful boy living by himself at the ed...more

Hardcover, 224 pages

Published January 24th 2008 by Viking Adult (first published August 30th 2007)

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Apr 04, 2008 E rated it 2 of 5 stars

I think I'm losing faith in Meg Rosoff.

I LOVED How I Live Now, so much so that I even consider it one of my favourite books of all time, and when Just In Case came out, I snapped it up immediately. It too was a bit of a let down. This novel was well-written and immersive but ultimately I didn't come away from the book feeling like I'd been changed or learned something significant having read it. As a matter of fact, it didn't even feel like Rosoff was trying to tell me anything at all.

I figured...more

15 likes · like · see review

Feb 02, 2008 Suzanne rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: adult-fiction

I don't know what to rate this book... I don't know what to make of it. I would prefer to give it a 3.5 but since halvsies aren't allowed I rounded up. This book immediately drew me in and I could not put it down (would spellbinding be too strong?). I was absolutey captivated, and Rosoff threw in a unexpected twist totally throwing my predictions out the window (and I was happy to do so). But I don't know if I had closure... I just don't know.

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Mar 15, 2008 Anna rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: reviewed-for-watermark

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Meg Rosoff's tale of friendship and longing takes place in 1962 East Anglia, where our narrator has been sent to St. Oswald's, a boys' boarding school of "long history and low standards," after being sent down from two other schools, having failed to show proper enthusiasm for sport and Empire. The food is wretched, the dormitories freezing, and soon this particular sixteen-year-old finds himself drawn to a simple hut on the coast, where a boy his age called Finn lives alone, what we would today...more

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Apr 11, 2008 Jack rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: alltimefavorite

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

1 like · like · see review

Feb 17, 2010 Meaghan rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: childrens-young-adult-fiction, boarding-school, read-in-2009

My favorite Meg Rosoff book so far. How I Live Now was good, but I was stunned by this one. From the dust jacket annotation I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to buy the plot, but once I started the story I found it perfectly plausible. The twist ending is something I hadn't seen coming, which is unusual -- usually I guess surprise endings ahead of time, which is kind of a drag. Best of all is the atmosphere of the story. From Rosoff's descriptions I could practically see the North Sea fog...more

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Mar 01, 2009 April rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: children-ya

I miss books like this. It’s been so long since I’ve come across one. What I Was found me today at Chapters. I can’t even tell you where. Was it on a table (20 books to read before you’re 20? Maybe New & Hot Teen Fiction?), or maybe just there on the shelf. I have no idea now. But anyway. I picked it up and read the back and got chills up my spine. This was a book I had to read, even if it tore my guts out (which it did, mostly).

What I Was is the story of H. 16 years old and shuffled off to...more I miss books like this. It’s been so long since I’ve come across one. What I Was found me today at Chapters. I can’t even tell you where. Was it on a table (20 books to read before you’re 20? Maybe New & Hot Teen Fiction?), or maybe just there on the shelf. I have no idea now. But anyway. I picked it up and read the back and got chills up my spine. This was a book I had to read, even if it tore my guts out (which it did, mostly).

What I Was is the story of H. 16 years old and shuffled off to his 3rd boarding school in the middle of nowhere, England. Here at St. Oswald’s, H goes through the now familiar motions of his “sterling history of mediocre achievement”.

And then he meets Finn, an “almost unbearably beautiful boy” who lives by himself in a hut on the cliffs of the seaside.

What follows is the slow deepening of their regard for each other. Rosoff drags it out painfully slowly for a book that’s just over 200 pages. Like H searching Finn’s facial expressions, we are left searching the pages for any hint of how the hermit boy feels for his unasked for friend. Like all the best characters (in my humble opinion), Finn is minimal, but takes up so much space. And while it’s the mystery of Finn that kept me reading, it’s my complete and utter connection with H that made the story for me.

It takes some magical story telling for a 30 year old woman to see herself so thoroughly in the narration of a now 100 year old man remembering his 16 year old self. With every time H goes to see Finn, crossing the treacherous water, often soaking himself through with water and humiliation I could sense his feelings growing, while at the same time retaining an innocence that would not have existed if the two main characters were even two years older.

I read What I Was in about 2 hours, turning page after page with an urgency I haven’t experienced while reading in quite some time. It seemed only fitting that while reading this Young Adult novel I felt 15 again, if only briefly. Only now, instead of wolfing down my food at supper to get back to the book, I was steadfastly ignoring the laundry in the dryer. The wrinkles would be worth it.

Nothing is perfect however, and I admit to feeling slightly cheated and annoyed at the resolution. While clever in it’s own way, it felt a bit too safe. H is metaphorically pulled out of the water one more time, no deeper self examination is needed. How convenient.

I’ll give Rosoff a bit of a break on this, though. While the ending felt too safe, I did not feel that way about the rest of the book, which is what’s important I think.

“What I Was” was a surprise, in the best way possible.(less)

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Feb 17, 2013 Liam rated it 5 of 5 stars

Honestly, I spent more than half this book wishing it wouldn't end in the way it ended. But there was something overally beautiful and touching that I can't really put my finger on. So I give this book five stars for it's heartwarming, realistic story and more so for the feeling it gives you.
What I was follows our nameless hero's life in his 3rd boarding school where he has to cope with the school 'rules' and his disgusting perverse roommates. A chance meeting with a boy living alone on the beac...more

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Nov 20, 2012 Shonna Froebel rated it 4 of 5 stars

I've always enjoyed everything I've read by Rosoff, and this was no exception. This book has an elderly man looking back at the year he was sixteen. The year was 1962 and he was in his third boarding school, having been kicked out of the previous two. He has no real ambition and tries to keep to himself and do as little as possible, that is until he meets another young man, who lives alone in a hut on the beach. When he meets Finn, he finds himself drawn to the life Finn lives, simple, doing wha...more

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Jul 18, 2012 Debbie rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book has left me puzzled. And confused about what is puzzling me. I know I read it too quickly to enjoy the good writing, but I wanted to know what was going to happen, and I had only so much lunch time. What I Was is the reminiscence of a 100-year-old man who lived an unexpected life when he was a 16-year-old schoolboy in 1962. (By my calculation, that means that he is telling this in the year 2048. This is not important to the story.) He has started at his third and most mediocre school j...more

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Jun 07, 2012 Maree Kimberley rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Rosoff is a fantastic writer with an excellent grasp of language and the ability to draw the reader into her created world. This book is more on the literary side of young adult/crossover fiction and by that I mean it has more of a focus on emotion, rather than action, driving the narrative. I think it still works well as a young adult book, though, as well as appealing to readers of all ages. It's a moody, evocative book with the sense of place - the wild ocean - being a strong metaphor for the...more

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Aug 16, 2011 Zarah rated it 4 of 5 stars

I definitely recognized this as having been by the author of How I Live Now. The title, something about the tone, the writing style, maybe even the set-in-the-future-but-not-really-ness of it. And, like HILN, What I Was could just as easily be YA as adult fiction. (The library shelves this one with the adults’.)

I thought it was really good, if not as unexpectedly excellent as HILN. The last pages sort of spun out, and left me a bit confused and disappointed. To be fair, I’ve never liked epilogue...more

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Jan 22, 2011 Anthony added it

WHAT I WAS was an impulse buy off of the $2 table at a Books-A-Million in Roanoke. The back-cover copy pulled me in (which is what back cover copy is supposed to do on trade paperbacks, after all). The book is narrated by H., nearing the end of a long and seemingly fulfilling life. He reflects on the teenage "relationship that has shaped and obsessed him for nearly a century." That relationship was with a "beautiful boy named Finn, who lives alone in a fisherman's hut by the sea. Their friendshi...more WHAT I WAS was an impulse buy off of the $2 table at a Books-A-Million in Roanoke. The back-cover copy pulled me in (which is what back cover copy is supposed to do on trade paperbacks, after all). The book is narrated by H., nearing the end of a long and seemingly fulfilling life. He reflects on the teenage "relationship that has shaped and obsessed him for nearly a century." That relationship was with a "beautiful boy named Finn, who lives alone in a fisherman's hut by the sea. Their friendship deepens, offering H the freedom and human connection that has always eluded him. But all too soon the idyll that nurtured their relationship is shattered by heart-wrenching scandal."

I wish the book were half as interesting as it sounded. I was expecting, because of the boarding-school-by-the-sea setting, a bit more closeted boy-romance. I was expecting, because of the back cover copy, a revelation partway through the book that rocks the characters' world. Instead, what we get is an excellent "inside his head" character study of H and how he is a) obsessed with the free-spirit but not socially adept Finn and b) oblivious to the schoolmate in his own dorm who could be his only friend if H would just stop to think about it. Even from the vantage of his later years, H is brutally honest about his own teenage motivations, how his lust and fear combined to alienate him from everyone except the virtually unknowable Finn. On the mission of creating a very understandable main character, Rosoff succeeds. I won't go so far as to say "this is a British CATCHER IN THE RYE," because I don't think that was Rosoff's intent at all. There's a similarity in feel in that the narrator is caught up completely in his own world and doesn't really understand what's going on around him (or, if he does, he brushes it aside in favor of what he wants us to think is going on around him), but the similarity in feel is about as far as I'm comfortable taking the comparison. (Besides, aren't we all tired of hearing first-person-teen-boy-narrators described as "the next Holden Caulfield?")

The shocking scandal? It comes way too late in the proceedings and is dispatched fairly quickly in favor of a "here's what the rest of my life was like" ending. The events precipitating the scandal are somewhat brutally described, and I give credit to Rosoff for some terrific writing in that section. I can't say I was completely shocked by what transpires in those pages; in retrospect the hints are all there regarding where this will all go, despite the fact that the book never feels like it's headed in any particular direction at all. What I take exception to is the editors who decided to tout "the heart-wrenching scandal" as the core of the book when it really isn't. If it was meant to be the core of the book, I'd think Rosoff would have taken a little more time with it, teased out more details of the years immediately following the breaking of the scandal -- but it's as if Rosoff, and by extension H, loses interest once those key events play out. The breaking of the scandal and its aftermath are almost glossed over.

As a character study, I can recommend the first two thirds of the book, but I have to say I was disappointed in what feels like a complete lack of energy in the final third.(less)

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Aug 06, 2010 Liberty Gilmore rated it 3 of 5 stars

What’s Good About It

Meg Rosoff does write beautifully. Her prose is haunting and perfectly captures the intensity of the relationship between the main character and Finn, and the backdrop against which the story is played. There’s a particularly beautiful bit in which a storm is described that left me feeling like I was right there in the heart of it.

What’s Not So Good

It should probably be said at this point that I have a bit of a love hate relationship with Rosoff’s books. I had to read How I L...more

1 like · like · see review

Aug 05, 2009 Jessica rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: everyone, YA

Shelves: read-in-2009

Review published here: http://www.hipsterbookclub.com/review...

Meg Rosoff's novel What I Was will early on remind readers of John Knowles's classic coming of age tale, A Separate Peace. Both books feature an adult narrator reminiscing about his time as a 16-year-old in a boarding school and the dark events that changed his life forever. Though the similarities are undeniable, Rosoff manages to give her story a unique touch that will haunt the reader long after the final page.

Rosoff gives a nod t...more Review published here: http://www.hipsterbookclub.com/review...

Meg Rosoff's novel What I Was will early on remind readers of John Knowles's classic coming of age tale, A Separate Peace. Both books feature an adult narrator reminiscing about his time as a 16-year-old in a boarding school and the dark events that changed his life forever. Though the similarities are undeniable, Rosoff manages to give her story a unique touch that will haunt the reader long after the final page.

Rosoff gives a nod to A Separate Peace on different levels. Her main character, unnamed until the end of the book, looks back on his formative time spent at a stuffy and remote English boarding school during the 1960s. During this period, H. (as he'll be referred to here), forms an unusual relationship with an extraordinary boy who is everything the narrator wishes to be. Like Knowles's book, What I Was is a story about questioned identity, innocence lost, and how we become who we are.

Already having been dismissed from two schools for lackluster performance and general apathy, H. instantly feels suffocated by the strict rules and conventions at his new school, St. Oswald's. His teenage angst can be almost unbearable to an adult reader who is never really enlightened as to why the boy harbors such ennui and hostility. Once H. realizes that St. Oswald's low standards would make dismissal from a third school difficult, he submits to coasting along, keeping his head down and mouth shut, and following the same pattern of mediocrity that is expected of him.

Adolescence is a trying time at best, but H.'s malaise exceeds normal teenage discontent and at first distances him from the reader. For example, his poor treatment of a lonely fellow student desperate for friendship is off-putting. The mild dislike readers may feel for the protagonist doesn't seem to be a mistake by the author however. One could assume that these character flaws purposely show the naivety of a young boy who hasn't yet realized the world doesn't revolve around himself. It ultimately shows how we can become so wrapped up in ourselves, or someone else, that we selfishly forget the world around us.

This fog of melancholy envelopes the book from the first page to the last word, but the heavy mood provides an almost Gothic feel to the book. This is most evident in the magically-described setting. St. Oswald's is a dreary Victorian structure resembling a prison engulfed by misty fog so thick that when H. and his father arrive for the first time they "might have driven off England and into the sea if not for a boy waving a torch in bored zigzags by the school entrance." The featureless corridors and dark courtyards seem designed to "starve the human spirit." These miserable surroundings are a stark contrast to the spellbinding world of crashing waves and green marshes H. discovers when he meets a remarkable stranger.

An ordinary day turns extraordinary when H. accidentally encounters a boy his age secretly living alone in an abandoned fisherman's hut off the coast, unbeknownst to the rest of the world. The quiet and peculiar boy is beautiful, athletic, clever, and most of all independent—everything H. is not. His name, whether ironically or deliberately, is Finn—like Finny from A Separate Peace. And like the fascinating Finny of Knowles's book, Finn evokes a sense of envy from the protagonist:

He looked impossibly familiar, like a fantasy version of myself, with the face I had always hoped would look back at me from a mirror. The bright, flickering quality of his skin reminded me of the surface of the sea. He was almost unbearably beautiful and I had to turn away, overcome with pleasure and longing and a realization of life's desperate unfairness.

H. is immediately drawn to the drastic contrast of Finn and his world. While H. has rules, academics, and structure, Finn has none of those. Instead, he takes his lessons from the nature around him and a shelf of old books he has read and re-read over the years. His exotic lifestyle of absolute freedom and his awkward detached personality captivate H., who becomes absorbed in forging a friendship between them, to the point of obsession.

Rosoff never spells out whether H.'s attraction to Finn is sexual or romantic in nature, instead leaving it to the reader to interpret. It is clear, though, that H. begins to question his identity and becomes dependent on Finn for his own happiness. His infatuation with Finn gives H. a new purpose but also consumes him entirely. His disregard for the rest of the world eventually takes a toll and leads to tragic consequences for all involved.

The intense story is short but expertly paced, neither drawn out nor rushed. Rosoff strikes an ideal balance between the serious tone and heavy emotions, and the mystery and excitement surrounding Finn. The book may not leave readers in particularly high spirits—hard lessons are never easily learned—but the haunting story has its own strange beauty. Rosoff not only draws readers into the story but shuts out the outside world so that readers feel as though they've been dropped into gloomy St. Oswald's or Finn's magical hut alongside the narrator. This beautifully structured and poignant story may take a few cues from its predecessors, but it certainly has enough qualities to stand on its own as a heartbreaking tale about the pains of growing up. (less)

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Jun 07, 2009 Marigold rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: set-in-england

This is a lovely book. “H”, the narrator, is an old man looking back, telling the story of his youth and first love. Beautifully written – even poetic – it takes you on a journey to a place you can clearly picture in your mind. (Of course, I once lived in East Anglia so maybe that helped!) The setting is wonderfully evoked including the all-boys boarding school where H lives, & the cottage by the sea where his friend Finn lives. This is one of those books that will make you think about simpl...more

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Jun 28, 2012 Cameron rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: coming-of-age-stories

This was the first novel of Rosoff's that I've read, and I was immediately impressed by the quality of her writing. Her prose flows concisely, elegantly and naturally. Her descriptions are nuanced and clever without being self-conscious or forced. The pictures her words spin will linger in your mind long after you've finished the book. One of my favorite lines: "He accepted love instinctively, without responsibility or conditions, like a wild thing glimpsed through trees."

The easiest way I can t...more

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Apr 02, 2012 Stevecrandell rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: grades-8-and-up, teen-boys

I like how Meg Rosoff writes, so I deal with how uncomfortable she makes me feel.

The narrator of this story is 16 years old, sent away to suffer at a bleak, isolated boarding school on the North Sea coast. Rosoff masterfully establishes nature as a force. The sea has been battering the shoreline for centuries, an honest malice in contrast to school’s manufactured cruelties. The boy’s one solace is a reclusive friend named Finn, who lives alone in an abandoned island hut.

To this, Rosoff adds so...more

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Sep 23, 2011 Ira Garcia rated it 3 of 5 stars

What I Was is a story about the teenage boy H's yearning to leap out the four corners of the box prescribed by society and quest for adventure and romantic lifestyle. Sick of the life in boarding school, he sought for an escapade. And in his pursuance he found friendship with beautiful orphan boy Finn who lives in a hut by the advancing shoreline in the east. Their friendship deepens. H's interest over his friendship with Finn is what the former defined as admiration to become that person, to be...more What I Was is a story about the teenage boy H's yearning to leap out the four corners of the box prescribed by society and quest for adventure and romantic lifestyle. Sick of the life in boarding school, he sought for an escapade. And in his pursuance he found friendship with beautiful orphan boy Finn who lives in a hut by the advancing shoreline in the east. Their friendship deepens. H's interest over his friendship with Finn is what the former defined as admiration to become that person, to become Finn. Nonetheless, the wonderment somehow sits on the gray area between ultimate attraction and exploration of identities that is a usual occasion in anyone's teenage period. H's chase to unravel Finn's mystery has provided him with shocking details but during the part where he thought he have known him too well already. Their friendship was looked upon as an illegal deal, an illegitimate relationship towards the end of the story. Which was before his eyes created a malicious scandal readily judged and concluded by people who barely be concerned or involved.

The story written in the voice of century old H vividly recounting the days of his life when he was still 16 realizing how such turn of events can change his life and Finn's and their friendship.

This novel is calm, mesmerizing, and spell-bound. Just after a few pages, I found myself deeply submerged in the story's setting and sometimes mentally wading through the marshes to strive towards The Stele. This novel is not for readers who search for complicated controversies, heart-pounding action, and outright passion in every paragraphs of each chapter but for those who are greatly enthused with the serenity of delicately formed images and beautiful panoramas.

However in the end, the story lacked to describe further how well or not did the main characters handled the out-turns. In effect, the H and Finn that was earlier drawn in the narration failed connecting to their readers towards the end. A few pages or chapters could perhaps provide the readers a better resolve.(less)

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Aug 09, 2010 saadia k rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: growing-up

This book wasn't phenomenal, nor life-changing, nor radical in any way. Its themes weren't novel, and its characters weren't the most likable I've ever encountered. Not even close. But there was something about Rosoff's prose--something effortless, something that made me feel as though I was swimming, floating, in it--but that she could drown me at any moment, as well. (Perhaps owing to the fact that I read most of the book in the pool in my mother's backyard, or to the fact that water plays suc...more

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Feb 04, 2009 Sean rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: ya

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Dec 13, 2010 Liza rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2010

I picked this book up on sale as an impulse buy, and I actually really enjoyed it. Rosoff gives a quick, easy read. At first I felt pretty detached as a reader, but since I finished the book I have found myself re-imagining the scenes and action through Rosoff's subtly powerful descriptive language.

The story style of a mature man, H., reflecting on his naïve boyhood and on his desire to be someone he is not, proved very compelling to me. Plus, the character Finn is such an enigma that the story

...more

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Feb 27, 2010 Katie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction-2010

At the warning of a fellow goodreads guru, I skipped the last 2 pages of this book, so I can’t make a comment about how that may have altered my enjoyment of this story. What I Was has the same magical quality (without actually adhering to the fantasy genre) as a previous Rosoff work, Who I am Now. I much preferred the latter, but this, too, was a delight. Similar to Who I am Now, this character-driven story details a unique friendship between two people, with their adventures playing as backgro...more

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Mar 26, 2013 Jill London rated it 3 of 5 stars

What I Was - Meg Rosoff.
I was in two minds whether to give this just two stars, as I didn't find this book at all addictive, and very nearly gave up on it. That seems like a mean comment considering the fact that this book is really very well written. Meg Rosoff gives us an impeccable narrative, honest and bold, and the descriptions in the book are delectable, no doubt about it.
I like a book with a bit of action, I need content, which is lacking in this novel. However, not all books are action...more

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Feb 28, 2010 santina rated it 2 of 5 stars

I started reading this book before Christmas and I just can't seem to finish it. I fell in love with Rosoff's writing with How I Live Now - what an amazing book that was - but this novel is missing something.

*EDIT* I don't know what happened, but yesterday I just felt like I couldn't abandon this book and I finished it. I'm glad I did. The second half of the book picks up and slides back into Rosoff's comfortable prose. She just has a way of creating a magic bubble around her characters so for...more I started reading this book before Christmas and I just can't seem to finish it. I fell in love with Rosoff's writing with How I Live Now - what an amazing book that was - but this novel is missing something.

*EDIT* I don't know what happened, but yesterday I just felt like I couldn't abandon this book and I finished it. I'm glad I did. The second half of the book picks up and slides back into Rosoff's comfortable prose. She just has a way of creating a magic bubble around her characters so for moments in their lives they exist in their idea of a perfect world. Of course that bubble can't be permanent and something has to ruin it or soil it. In the end nobody gets what they set out to want, and though things are different the character's aren't unhappy. Thee characters accept that things are what they are now, and sometimes that is the price of stealing momentary happiness.

I felt like this novel was missing something, a certain amount of heart perhaps. We weren't left with any kind of closure with the main character, known as H, who admits he is entirely unreliable as a narrator. For a minute I thought perhaps his best friend might just be some sort of invented phantom he was projecting to interact with the person he wanted to be (I'm explaining that poorly - sort of like Fight Club). H seems squishy, soft, doesn't take any personal accountability for his life, and he needs this external character to model on to make a change in his life, but then he doesn't make any change for about 2/3 of the novel so we're stuck listening to his internal monologue idolizing his best friend/hinted love interest. He is borderline obsessive and stops investing in his real life so he can sink further into his idealized life with his friend.

What really annoyed me was the twist, which I won't reveal, but I felt it took something away from H's personal struggle with his identity and reality. All in all I was disappointed with this book and I wouldn't recommend it for fans of Rosoff's writing. She doesn't really come into her voice until it's too late.(less)

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Sep 24, 2012 Jodi rated it 2 of 5 stars

So when I started reading this book I wasn't too sure where Rosoff was going to take it but when they introduced the boy I was beginning to wonder whether this could be the first book i ever read about a gay romance. I was incredibly excited because of the way Rosoff had set up the characters and the chemistry - to be honest I was hoping for a passionate scene too! However, as soon as you find out Finn is actually a girl, I was really disappointed.
Overall, it's a good book and all but it's got...more

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Sep 19, 2012 Frances rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: grown-up-books, read-in-2010, realistic-fiction

This seemed no less YA than How I Live Now, so I'm puzzled why it was classified as adult fiction. The story sucked me in. The main character is hard to swallow at times. He's too awkward and too eager in his advances with Finn. The writing is beautiful, and the setting is lovely in its austerity and allure.

**Spoilers**

What really threw me, as I'm sure it was meant to, was the revelation that Finn is a girl. What I can't figure out is-- why? It reminds me a little of the story I wrote in colleg...more

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Nov 14, 2012 Sjhart rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: young-adult-fiction

I listened to the audiobook and was intrigued to be listening to perhaps the most dark and desolate book I have ever heard/read.

But I couldn't stop listening. When a boy is sent for his third attempt at boarding school, he is disenchanted, depressed and just wants to be left alone. He happens to meet another boy, living along and free in a little shack by the sea. He becomes enchanted, obsessed, in love with this boy (who is not inclined to conversation or company or anything else much, sociall...more

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Sep 22, 2010 Mathilde rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

An extraordinary account of an obsessive friendship between a prep-school misfit and a beautiful orphan. The narrator shows his disdain for the school rules with apathy rather than rebellion, until the day he meets Finn on a nearby beach. The narrator is immediately intrigued by the quiet boy with impossibly perfect, delicate features, particularly when he learns that since his grandmother died four years earlier, Finn lives alone. But the narrator's carefully constructed world crumbles when St....more

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Mar 19, 2010 Your_Granny Govaerts rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: kjv, jeugdboeken

Dat was me er ééntje!
Toen ik de eerste bladzijden van dit boek las, dacht ik:
'Oh nee, weer het onderwerp kostscholen en kostschooljongetjes?!'
Gelukkig waren de teksten helemaal niet zwaar
geschreven en las ik dus dapper verder.
Dit boek zit echt vol verrassingen.
Het is lang geleden dat ik bij een verhaal
een 'fout voorgevoel' had over wat er zou gebeuren.
Ik dacht eigenlijk dat het verhaal over de eerste
homorelaties in de jaren stillekes ging.
Big mistake. :'p Dus toen ik ontdekte dat Finn eigen...more

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Jun 29, 2012 Rebecca rated it 5 of 5 stars

Meg Rosoff is quickly becoming one of my favorite YA authors. This book is shelved with adult fiction, but I think it's fair to call it a YA book (and so does Wikipedia) about coming of age, family and friendship, loyalty, and the wisdom of hindsight. Rosoff's story is set at a seaside boarding school in England and her descriptions of the harsh pettiness of boarding school life -- cruel upper class men, apathetic lecturers, meals consisting of grayish gruel -- are vivid and insightful. A young...more

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About Meg Rosoff

Meg Rosoff was born in Boston and had three or four careers in publishing and advertising before she moved to London in 1989, where she lives now with her husband and daughter. Formerly a Young Adult author, Meg has earned numerous prizes including the highest American and British honors for YA fiction: the Michael L. Printz Award and the Carnegie Medal.

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Quotes from What I Was

“I am almost a hundred years old; waiting for the end, and thinking about the beginning.

There are things I need to tell you, but would you listen if I told you how quickly time passes?

I know you are unable to imagine this.

Nevertheless, I can tell you that you will awake someday to find that your life has rushed by at a speed at once impossible and cruel. The most intense moments will seem to have occurred only yesterday and nothing will have erased the pain and pleasure, the impossible intensity of love and its dog-leaping happiness, the bleak blackness of passions unrequited, or unexpressed, or unresolved.” — 90 people liked it

“And still the brain continues to yearn, continues to burn, foolishly, with desire. My old man's brain is mocked by a body that still longs to stretch in the sun and form a beautiful shape in someone else's gaze, to lie under a blue sky and dream of helpless, selfless love, to behold itself, illuminated, in the golden light of another's eyes.” — 20 people liked it

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What I Was

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