The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass
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The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass

3.8 of 5 stars 3.80  ·  rating details  ·  2,312 ratings  ·  307 reviews

From the "New York Times" bestselling author and host of HBO's Real Time, Bill Maher's latest collection of political riffs and savagely funny suggestions for preserving sanity in an insane world.
"New Rule" The next Republican Convention must be held in a giant closet. Every week there's a new gay Republican outed. I have a feeling that "big tent" they're always talking a...more
ebook, 368 pages
Published November 14th 2011 by Penguin Group USA, Inc
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(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Amanda
A collection of "New Rules" (brief and sarcastic commentaries on the idiocy of pop culture and the oxygen thieves who drive it) and essays from his closing segment on HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher, The New New Rules has some obscenely hysterical and politically incorrect moments, as well as enough Sarah Palin slams to keep me smiling for a week. I give Maher credit for doing exactly what a lot of politicians should be doing right now: sticking to his convictions and calling things as he sees t...more
Tim Niland
Comedian and commentator Bill Maher takes snippets from the commentaries from his HBO program and adds them to short vignettes about life in the modern United States and comes up with a very funny and occasionally thought provoking book. In the New Rules segment at the end of each television program, he adds humorous editorials on popular culture and American politics, and many of the more recent ones are included here. The order is alphabetical by topic rather than chronological by date, which...more
Becky
I decided to make mini fruit skewers for the office potluck tomorrow, so, being the multi-tasker that I am, I decided to listen to an audiobook while I shoved sharp sticks through unsuspecting and defenseless fruit pieces. It was kind of an apt activity, listening to this particular audiobook, because there was pretty much nobody that Bill skipped taking a jab at.



Yeah, yeah... It's bedtime. Whatever, Grammar Cat.

Anyway, Bill Maher is a funny, irreverent fucking guy. I don't agree with everythi...more
Velma
Jan 14, 2012 Velma rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Tea Baggers & bathroom readers
Recommended to Velma by: borrowed from Zach
I'm not sure Maher likes women much, and he's a bit fixated on his junk, but this chinese-food of humor (you know: yummy, but you're hungry again an hour after ingesting) is entertaining as all get-out, and I'd totally be Tweeting these piths if I didn't think I'd receive a cease-and-desist from Maher's stable of attorneys.

Like it's predecessor, The New Rules, this one is structured as a set of Maher's humorous observations about modern life. This smart, acidic, and hilariously off-color collec...more
Cathy
It case it isn't really obvious, if you don't like politically incorrect humor then you should not read this book. The book is a combination of short "new rules," jokes, some new and some that have appeared on Real Time, and the longer essays (a page and a half or so) that Bill uses to close the show at the end of the New Rules segment each week. I always thought the longer segments were the best part of the show, and seeing them here reinforces that. The short New Rules are sometimes laugh-out-...more
Kerrie
It's Bill Maher, so expect lots of crass jokes about porn, masturbation, marriage, and of course the incisive comments about religion and politics. I haven't listened to the Real Time podcast for nearly a year now due to my iPod dying (and not buying another one) so this was a welcome fix. These "new rules" extend back to 2005, some were not used for the show, but many were familiar. The revisits of some of his longer commentaries at the end of the episode had me nodding my head all over again....more
Indika De Silva
I found the following book refreshingly funny. Bill Maher's social observations and humor specially American related commentaries are quite remarkable.

His wit is quite remarkable. The way he makes statements or New Rules at heads of states, politicians, religious figureheads etc is quite fascinating and brave I might add. Had he been my home country; he would have been white vanned a long time ago... (If you know what I mean.)

If you are into social observation, humor, political humor this book i...more
Paul Dinger
I love the show Real Time with Bill Maher. I have watched the show since it started. However, I have found that in the last few years a certian angry cyncism has crept in. This cyncism is best exemplified by the title, "How Everyone but me has their head up their ass". The trap of sarcasm is that while it is funny to poke your noses at everyone, it isn't when you never shine that light on yourself. The first New Rules had a leavening of self awareness to it, this book doesn't. It is simply a tir...more
Emily
It would be kind of stupid for me to rate this book seriously because I was always going to love it. So instead, enjoy a few of my Top Ten New New Rules, in no particular order(#5 is my favorite):

1)If you're an adult and you go to the Justin Bieber movie by yourslef and you're not a film critic, you have to reigster as a sex offender.

2)Bristol and Levi have to get back together. Come on, you two. You made the baby, fell out of love, and now it's act three of every horrible Katherine Heigl movie...more
Traci
You have to say one thing for Bill Maher: the man speaks his mind and makes no apologies for doing so.

If you're not familiar with the sometimes-caustic, liberal host of HBO's Real Time, then you most likely picked up this book by mistake. I used to watch Maher when his show was still on "regular" television, before he spoke up about something, got everyone's panties in a twist, and had to go back to HBO. Yes, that should tell you something right there: he used to be on cable, moved to late-nigh...more
Dan
I thought Bill Maher was funny. I liked POLITICALLY INCORRECT and RELIGULOUS. So I downloaded this audiobook from my library. I listened to about 30 minutes of it and died of boredom.

Bill Maher's circa-2004 jokes (Lindsay Lohan is a drunk coke-head, Britney Spears is a slutty trampy hookery whore, Andy Dick is a disgusting spaz, George W. Bush is a man-child, etc) are just are so predictable and unfunny that you kinda feel sorry for the guy. The rest just come across as an old man shaking his ca...more
Angel
Jan 26, 2012 Angel rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Maher fans, people who like commentary on current affairs
Mr. Maher is definitely in top shape with this book. Now, a few out there may say he is too cynical, but let us be honest: the man says what needs to be said regardless of who gets offended. If as a society, we took a lot of his advice, things would probably be a lot better, but that would require people to get off their couches, get the big sticks out of their asses, and actually do something. At the end of the day, much of this is common sense, or it would seem common sense if people still had...more
Mysterium
As a comic, I used to be able to take or leave Bill Maher. I will say that over time, he has grown on me, especially with his views on political issues. He as an amazing way of making what is absurd and really damn sad about our country something to laugh at. Hell, it is so bad these days, the only thing that we have left that won't get taxed or taken away is to laugh.

This book is great! It is in nicely organized bite size chunks, so it can be easily picked up and read in brief intervals as time...more
Cindy
I really underestimated what Bill personally brings to New Rules. Watching him deliver these lines--especially the editorials--on HBO is wayyyyy funnier than reading this book, at least for me.

There was a time when he seemed to get just a little too smug and a little too self-satisfied; it made me wince. And he really does need to retire the lame arts and crafts portion of his show. But I never stopped watching him. When times got very bleak--seriously, Bush twice? Not to mention present circums...more
Tim
If you're a fan of Bill Maher, you'll enjoy new, new rules anecdotes. 9 of 10 stars
Kelly  Schuknecht
I did not really know who Bill Maher was before I picked this book. I mean, I knew of him vaguely - enough to say he was in news/politics, but that was about it. I picked this book because I have been on a humor audiobook kick for a while now. I liked the satirical humor of Denis Leary in Why We Suck, and I thought this book might be similar, but it was not.

Although I have been reading humor books lately, I really appreciate books that challenge me in some way. I have found that humor books ofte...more
Holly
Oh my lord, I laughed out loud so many times while listening to this in the car--probably as many times as when I listened to Denis Leary's "Why We Suck." Bill Maher cracks me up, and I don't care if he's an arrogant asshole. At least he knows he is. And he is really smart about stuff that too many people are really dumb about. That subtitle is hilarious.
Missy
I love Bill Maher, but the new new rules weren't new. It was mostly bits from his show over the past few years. If it had been brand new to me, which it will be for many of it's readers, I would've given it 4 stars. As always, the points he made were smart, witty, and saturated w/ that great quality of sarcasm.
Kelly Johnston
I very much enjoyed this book. On several occasions, it made me laugh out loud. I don't read a lot of comedy, and consider this great literature (duh), but comedy is an important aspect of my mental well-being, and I don't consider it worthwhile, if I don't laugh out loud. So it passes that test with flying colors.
Carrie Rubin
This book made me laugh out loud so often that it was risky to read in public, lest people thought I was a lunatic. It's for the liberal-minded, and there's plenty of controversy to be found, but if you see the humor in human ignorance and stupidity, I'd definitely recommend it.
Rebecca
Some of the rules will make you think. Others will make your blood boil. The vast majority of them will make you laugh.

Warning: do not read too many passages at once or you'll risk wetting your pants.

Highly recommended for left leaning liberals.
Ann A
Yes, Bill is a little crude and pompous (although I forgive his pomposity, because he is first and foremost a comedian - and he's smart). I laughed out loud several times while reading this book AND I agree with just about everything he says.
Erica
I agree with almost everything Maher says. He's just SUCH an insufferable db when he says it.
James
Oh man, take that bumper stickers! He doesn't care whose toes he steps on!
John
I really enjoyed this very funny book.
Jonny99
Give hard left-wing socialist Maher credit - getting readers to pay for material you have already been handsomely paid for presenting on your television program is the height of unabashed capitalism. By Maher's own description, this joke book re-presents the material used on his show Real Time. A lot of it deals with ridiculing American conservative icons - particularly the younger George Bush - sometime with wit but too often with uninspired name calling. Maher treats the U.S. citizenry with mu...more
Joel Gomes
Real Time with Bill Maher and its ending segment New Rules would not be known in Portugal were it not for YouTube and file-sharing. Yes, I know file-sharing is illegal. The same way embezzling, deceiving and outright stealing is illegal. Yet, we see Governments performing such acts, so who's to blame? This is a rhetorical question - I don't really care who's to blame on this issue, as long as that someone isn't me.

What I really want to mention is the intelligence and the wit behind many of these...more
Colt
While funny in it's own right that provides satire on conventional wisdom, New Rules in print doesn't have the same punch in written form as it does for the spoken word when watching Real Time with Bill Maher. If you don't have the voice of Bill Maher in your head firing off the comedic timing that the New Rules require, the book comes across as being very jaded and cynical.

But at the risk of becoming to preachy, enjoy this book for light reading and light-hearted laughter. Bill Maher has become...more
Janet Morris
Sep 28, 2013 Janet Morris rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: liberals and people who just need to laugh
If you've ever watched Real Time with Bill Maher, then you are probably familiar with Bill Maher's segment toward the end of each show called New Rules. This book is a collection of New Rules, including both the short ones and some of the longer comedic essays.

Of course, with all things Bill Maher, you have to expect the politically charged brand of humor that he is quite famous for. This book does not disappoint. It is filled with that irreverent, yet informed style that he has become so famou...more
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William Maher, Jr., is an American comedian, actor, writer, and producer. He hosted the late-night television talk show Politically Incorrect on Comedy Central and ABC, and is currently the host of Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO. On June 1, 2006, he also began hosting an Internet-exclusive talk show on Amazon.com entitled Amazon Fishbowl.

Maher is known for his political satire and sociopolitical...more
More about Bill Maher...
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“I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.” 22 likes
“New Rule: If you can force a woman to look at a sonogram—to see what will happen if she has an abortion—you also have to let her see a crying baby, a bratty five-year-old, and a surly teenager to see what will happen if she doesn’t. And you have to tell her it costs $204,000 to raise it until it turns eighteen, in 2028, where it will be a slave to the Chinese, in a radioactive world with no animals, fish, or plants.” 10 likes
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