Teach Us to Sit Still: A Sceptic's Search for Health and Healing

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Teach Us to Sit Still: A Sceptic's Search for Health and Healing

3.64 of 5 stars 3.64 · rating details · 333 ratings · 64 reviews

Bedevilled by a crippling condition which nobody could explain or relieve, he confronts hard truths about the relationship between the mind and the body, the hectic modern world and his life as a writer.

Teach Us To Sit Still is the visceral, thought-provoking and improbably entertaining story of Tim Parks' quest to overcome ill health.

Paperback, 352 pages

Published September 1st 2011 by Vintage (first published August 24th 2001)

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Mar 29, 2013 Sara rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This was a hard one to rate. It deserves a lot of stars because it's so worth reading and learning from. But it's not easy to read. Not because the writing is bad - it's great, actually. It's just that the content challenges so many (mostly Western) assumptions about the connection between body and mind, between health and thought. The author is a challenging personality as well - tense and obsessive, but also thoughtful and caring and a skilled story-teller.

What makes the book so worthwhile is...more

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Oct 08, 2012 Molly rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommended to Molly by: Emily

I started this book hungrily, perhaps because I can relate to the desperation of an undefinable illness, of the chronic discomfort that one searches futilely for solutions: relinquishing alcohol and caffeine and exercising more or less and spending hours on the internet and cruising various doctors (for me, the standard family practice led to a neurologist led to acupuncture, where it has settled for the time being, but there is hope too in yoga and supplements and still, the flutter of discomfo...more I started this book hungrily, perhaps because I can relate to the desperation of an undefinable illness, of the chronic discomfort that one searches futilely for solutions: relinquishing alcohol and caffeine and exercising more or less and spending hours on the internet and cruising various doctors (for me, the standard family practice led to a neurologist led to acupuncture, where it has settled for the time being, but there is hope too in yoga and supplements and still, the flutter of discomfort is humming at the periphery). In many ways, I might have previously rolled my eyes at all the penis-art, the connections Parks made to columns and figs in water jugs, but then I allowed myself to imagine it as a less gendered viewing--if Parks were a woman suffering from a woman's-body-specific ailment, I would have celebrated the allusions and obsessions. It's unfair of me, and, as a mother to a toddler-daughter and 21-weeks pregnant with a boy, my feminist self is shifting more rapidly than it did as a Women's Studies minor in my undergraduate years.

But Parks referred to others' "bellyaching" so often, it called stark attention to his own. Oh, how I sympathize with the chronic pain, but at some point, his personality began to sour--there was such emphasis on his in-shapeness (which is important, I understand, to show the reader how it wasn't bad diet or lack of exercise that led him to his pains, but we get that through his regular walking and his kayaking and dinners and such) and he contrasts that with a friend's doughnut-eating-leading-to-diabetes, a friend who is trying to help him, to the point of frustration, in the impression Parks gives. (I've always be so cautious now that my former doctor is a social friend, not to mention ailments unless she mentions them first, as I don't want to take advantage of her profession, and I get the impression that Parks has exactly the opposite temperament.) Later, when he's at a retreat, he indeed bellyaches about noises, about music, about the leader's immaturity (and his fatness), about the fruit served. He calls his shiatsu healer "hardly sophisticated folks." These disparagements create an unappreciative character, which does set up the ability to become enlightened, but eventually, it becomes relentless, and I'm ready, like the author's final sentence expresses, to move on.

A small irritation that was the author's choice: the inclusion of images. He's a good enough writer that every image described was certainly not needed to enhance the text, and much more often than not, the Google'd-type images detracted. Perhaps the Valzquez was useful, and I understand the desire to fold in anatomical and surgical illustrations, but having them plunked into each chapter's narrative cheapened the effect. Perhaps, graphic-design-wise, it would have felt more professional to have the image start the chapter, to be referred back to, or include an appendix, but as it is, it just felt like the cut-and-paste style of blogs, and even then I have a low tolerance, preferring the blogs that illustrate will exclusively photographs by the blog author, keeping editing and style consistent.(less)

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Feb 03, 2012 Nancy Kennedy rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Some illnesses are just not glamorous. No one's sporting ribbons for ulcerative colitis or running races for IBS. So it is with prostatitis, the topic of this book. Descriptions of the symptoms, causes and possible treatments raise a huge ick barrier for the reader. But don't let that stop you from reading this book.

Tim Parks, a professor and prolific author who lives in Italy, suffers debilitating pain that keeps him from being able to walk and sit. It wakes him in the night. It causes him to s...more Some illnesses are just not glamorous. No one's sporting ribbons for ulcerative colitis or running races for IBS. So it is with prostatitis, the topic of this book. Descriptions of the symptoms, causes and possible treatments raise a huge ick barrier for the reader. But don't let that stop you from reading this book.

Tim Parks, a professor and prolific author who lives in Italy, suffers debilitating pain that keeps him from being able to walk and sit. It wakes him in the night. It causes him to spend an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom. The cure? One doctor says surgery. Another says alpha blockers. Internet chatterers suggest saw palmetto. Mr. Parks doesn't want to go any of these routes.

Instead, he starts off on a journey to healing, one that involves an old book (A Headache in the Pelvis), relaxation techniques, meditation and Buddhist retreats. They all help to some extent, though at the end of the book, you discover he still has symptoms. So, to me, the message of the book doesn't lie in physical healing.

Instead, I became enthralled when the author begins to practice Vipassana meditation, leading him to healing in his emotional life. Mr. Parks grew up in England the son of an Anglican minister, but in his teens renounced all faith. While meditating one day, Mr. Parks summons up a heartbreaking moment at his father's deathbed. "I'm sure you do believe, Timothy. Tell me that you do," his father implores him. What Mr. Parks says in response must have weighed on him his entire life, whether or not he believed he did the right thing.

In meditation, Mr. Parks also becomes more self-aware. I was struck by his realization that just about every thought he has is unattractively rooted in self-regard. It is a central tenet of Christianity that you are to think more highly of others than of yourself. "I must decrease," the Apostle Paul says. I found it fascinating that a Buddhist practice could lead to such a so-called Christian realization.

I would love to hear more from Mr. Parks about these kinds of spiritual and emotional awakenings. I really enjoyed his early nonfiction books, Italian Neighbors: Or, A Lapsed Anglo-Saxon in Verona and An Italian Education. While on his healing journey, it looks momentarily like Mr. Parks is going to abandon writing for -- what? -- just as in midlife Tony Hendra (Father Joe: The Man Who Saved My Soul) becomes convinced he should throw it all over and become a monk. Judging from the evidence of this completed book, though, it seems that he has returned to his work. I hope so! Relaxation and meditation take a lot of valuable time away from one's writing! (less)

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Oct 25, 2011 Electric Funeral rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: buddhism, read-in-2011, library-books

If you came to this book because you want to know more about meditation you came to the wrong place. parks describes his very personal process of dealing with his physical (and mental) suffering by re-learning how to breath and pay attention to the here and now. he rejects the concepts behind this form of meditation (buddhism) and is building his own eclectic method just like so many other people are. for me the book was entertaining because it tells about the specific difficulties people that a...more

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Aug 24, 2011 Glenys rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Richard Morte

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I think this is a great book; insightful, well-written, important. It's the personal story or testimony of a writer -- brought up in England, living in Italy -- working as a translator, teacher, essayist and novelist. He's immersed in language. In middle age he gradually develops problems with urination and increasing pain, but medical investigations of his prostate and bladder show nothing that really accounts for his symptoms. Like many people with chronic pelvic pain and no easy answers from...more

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Jul 14, 2011 Barbara Mitchell rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Tim Parks is a successful writer who has written novels, nonfiction, and various magazine articles. Now he has written a unique memoir in which he is searching for a diagnosis or solution to mysterious pains and other physical symptoms no one can figure out.

Rather than a sad, whiny, poor-ol'-me sort of memoir, this is honest, factual, and often funny. At first he thinks his terrible pain, urinary frequency and other symptoms are simply physical. Prostate is the first body part to come under susp...more

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Apr 08, 2013 Peter rated it 1 of 5 stars

The sub-title of this book, 'A Sceptic's Search for Health and Healing', is a more fitting title than 'Teach Us To Sit Still' as the book turns out to be a lengthy and critical examination of the author's poor state of health and how, if at all, it can be healed. As a fan of Tim Parks' non-fiction I was expecting a thorough investigation of the subject matter which, going by the title and the artwork - and indeed by Will Self's accolade on the front cover - I expected it to largely focus on Vipa...more The sub-title of this book, 'A Sceptic's Search for Health and Healing', is a more fitting title than 'Teach Us To Sit Still' as the book turns out to be a lengthy and critical examination of the author's poor state of health and how, if at all, it can be healed. As a fan of Tim Parks' non-fiction I was expecting a thorough investigation of the subject matter which, going by the title and the artwork - and indeed by Will Self's accolade on the front cover - I expected it to largely focus on Vipassana Meditation. However, the reader is instead led into a labyrinth of medical conditions and treatments, expensive and futile procedures and Mr Parke's existential struggle to try to come to terms with how this misery is affecting the balance of his inner self. We are led on a rambling voyage of possible influences on his medical condition starting with his strict religious upbringing and, by way of his love affair with authors who have have overcome debilitating illness, to his ongoing struggle with his ego - which he aptly emphasises by name-dropping his relationships with top surgeons, famous authors and even a personal canoeing coach. The scepticism previously alluded to becomes irksome when he becomes dismissive and scathing of any view which conflicts with his own prejudices. For instance, he is sent to see numerous, and expensive, western doctors whose advice he follows to the letter without achieving any improvement in his condition. Yet he seeks out an Ayurvedic doctor in India and a Vipassana Guru in Italy but dismisses them as cranks when they suggest an alternative reason for his ailments - although his ultimate salvation is as a result of the seeds they plant in his mind. Throughout this book he appears to be more absorbed with trying to link tales of scholarly achievement, literary criticism and thwarted ambition to his personal discomfort and angst than to find a coherent story with which to engage the reader. It is therefore ironic that he accuses a friend of writing 'excellent aphorisms of exquisite pessimism' when most of this book transpires to be just that.
Overall, this is a disappointing and disjointed read. In the foreword Mr Parkes admits to having a discussion with his publisher who cannot categorise this book and asks is it 'Health, Biography, New Age, Criticism?' It is all that and, as such, is a mishmash of book. Like the author says, when he finishes the book, I am happy to move on.(less)

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Feb 09, 2013 Grace Wynne-Jones rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Read this book a while ago. It is hard to sum up and this is precisely what makes it so special. There are no trite and simplistic answers in it. It is written with rigorous honesty and sometimes a beautiful bewilderment.

It is partly a book about words and what we seek from them...and the places where we can leave words behind. There are also many sentences about pain and the prostate. The transformative journey Parks embarks upon is fascinating.

The words by Will Self on the back of the jacket...more

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Jan 28, 2012 Iris rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: science, biography

The autobiography of a body. Tim Parks, novelist and essayist, here brings us into his daily life: espresso and donuts in his Italian home, kayaking, hunched over his laptop reading Beckett and online message boards, soaring off to the Booker award ceremony. His focus through all this: the pelvic pain that eventually leads him to add shiatsu and meditation to his quotidian routine.

The oversharing first-person memoir isn't new, but this one feels quite contemporary for its blog-like structure and...more

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Oct 19, 2011 Jenny rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Not my usual sort of book - not anyone's, excerpt perhaps men aged over 50 who want to understand more about their prostates and peeing mechanisms into which it goes in very great detail for half the book. But Parks writes well enough that even this is quite riveting, especially the casualness of the surgical interventions offered. Even within this there are little glimmers that there might be something different happening, something psychological or spiritual even, and that medicine might not b...more

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Jun 20, 2012 Nigeyb rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

A tale of extreme navel gazing and introspection which - due to Tim Parks' engaging style - is, improbably, a page-turner. I'd previously read three Tim Parks non-fiction books... "Italian Neighbours: An Englishman in Verona", "An Italian Education", and "A Season With Verona: Travels Around Italy in Search of Illusions, National Character and Goals" ...and really enjoyed them all. Tim Parks is a good writer with the knack of making the everyday interesting and, in the case of this book, making...more

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Aug 09, 2011 Trish added it · review of another edition

Written by novelist Tim Parks in a chatty autobiographical style, this is a personal exploration of the psychology of pain and ill health.

Tim undergoes many tests (there are illustrations and photographs!) but doctors can find no physical reason for his distressing symptoms and debilitating pain.He tries sport, not doing sport, restricting his diet, not restricting his diet, but finally,inspired by a book, Headache in the Pelvis, he learns to relax his muscles, think differently, and undergoes t...more

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Nov 25, 2012 Eddus rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Relatively interesting, a little too egotistical, a little too heavy on the graphic details of various bladder procedures (some details made me feel faint on the underground, had to stop reading!)

Ultimately a book about one incredibly up-tight man's struggles to relax, his obsessions with an illness which never really existed, even after paying a lot of different doctors lots of money. Some of the passages about meditation and finding peace were interesting, but you felt the author was writing...more

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Mar 01, 2011 Torgeir rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Great read for anyone who is curious about the meditation retreats of John Coleman, a student of the Burmese meditation teacher U Ba Khin. The book is a narrative about someone who is discovering the connection between his mind and body for the first time.

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Mar 03, 2013 Alyson rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction

Even though this is non-fiction I found it entertaining and enjoyable (I'm not saying non-fiction is usually the opposite) and managed to read it at bedtime without switching off. The author is a novelist, so this may explain his ability to tell a good tale.

This book is essentially a very personal account of a long-standing health condition the author has had, and, his attempts to overcome it. Eventually he is lead to an illuminating book which radically changes his life, and improves the manag...more

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Aug 26, 2010 Jessica marked it as to-read · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction

from the LRB:

Teach Us to Sit Still: A Sceptic’s Search for Health and Healing

Tim Parks

"Just when the medical profession had given up on me and I on it, just when I seemed to be walled up in a life sentence of chronic pain, someone proposed a bizarre way out: sit still, they said, and breathe.’ In Teach Us to Sit Still (Harvill Secker) Parks, a lifelong New Age sceptic, eventually finds solace in an improbable prescription of breathing exercises and meditation, which leads him to consider the ef...more

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Sep 18, 2011 Dpdwyer rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

A fine book that I will read again. The author, a successful writer and translator living in Italy, develops debilitating prostatitis, with severe pain and frequent urination. Medical tests find no definitive diagnosis, but his doctor recommends surgery. He searches for alternatives, fighting his preconceptions while making progress with relaxation techniques and Vipassana meditation, ultimately learning about himself.

The book’s charm results from the author’s honesty, intelligence, and underst...more

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Oct 07, 2010 Costaricachica rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This is one of the most real and illuminating stories I have read in a long time. The author's cynicism of all things 'new age' is refreshing at a time when 'new age' is often overshadowed by connotations of 'chic' or 'latest fad'. The authors is on a journey, delving into the innermost corners of his soul but by the time he has realised that this is what is happening he is back in his classroom, worshipping every sweet moment. This book re-enforces the universal truth that the individual alone...more

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Feb 25, 2012 Dan Thompson rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, read-in-2012

This is the first non-fiction book I've read in months and to be honest it was a great book with many downsides. Non-fiction tends to be specialised and written with a specific audience or market in mind. Teach Us To Sit Still tends to flow in and out of many different 'markets' although this doesn't necessarily mean it's bad.

At first glance it seems to be about meditation, though upon reading you find Parks describing his painful illness although there doesn't seem to be anything medically wron...more

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May 16, 2013 Michele rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I wasn't sure what to expect about this book but the fact that he said right from the beginning that he's a skeptic was what made me want to read it. Not only am I skeptic when it comes to what I might call "new age-ish" kinds of things, I'm also a skeptic when it comes to so-called "traditional" or Western medicine. But I'm open-minded enough to think that something like meditation could be useful or even revelatory or life-changing. Other readers have said they didn't like the talk of his "pee...more

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Aug 23, 2010 David Fenton rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Anyone interested in mind/body relationships, meditation

A surprisingly enjoyable read. Tim Parks's search for relief from a pelvic pain he has suffered for many years and his determination to find an answer that does not involve surgery is engaging and informative. His writing style is friendly and easy. As the medical explanations for his pain become more vague and the more insistent they are that he needs to undergo surgery, the more Parks decides to explore other avenues. Being a writer, he starts out by wondering if it's all in the mind. He ponde...more

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Oct 03, 2011 Janey Bennett rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I think this book is extraordinary. It took courage to write it, to chronicle the demeaning, self-effacing, revelatory, foolish, helpless moments that the overstimulated ego of the author/subject was learning to live with. Out of it comes real wisdom, a journey of discovery that is the best of the self-discovery books I've ever encountered. What illness teaches and how, what surprises it holds, how life is enriched after losing everything, is all in this book. I recommend it highly.

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Oct 22, 2011 Penny rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

A memoir about a man who has pelvic pain and the first 3/4 of the book told me more than I wantedf to knwo about that! He goes from one doctor/cinic to another - to no avail. Nothing wrong with him -- pain remains. Ultimately he winds up going to a Vipassana meditation retreat -- where he finds relief from his pain -- both physicla and mental. I loved that part of the book -- but, it was only a smal portion of the whole.

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Aug 07, 2011 Amanda rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction

Something of a dark night of the soul tale. Parks' physical pain sends him first to modern medical science - but his skepticism keeps him from fully submitting to the knife. He explores some alternatives until finding something that works-but I won't give it away. As someone who suffers from some minor chronic conditions, I appreciate Parks' pain and his desire for escape. I found myself gleaning insights for how to address my hurts-physical and mental-from Parks' story.

I am writing this review...more

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Nov 30, 2012 Saul rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: yoga-health

A very powerful, visceral, human book. Picking it up again tonight, something on page 227 stopped me, astounded me and made me grateful for the experience of both having read the book and of being alive. No book is perfect. So, I will not share my quibbles. There are no real shortcomings here. A book that I will keep.

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Jan 03, 2011 David rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

A deceptively profound book about how to live well. The descriptions of genital pain and its treatment were uncomfortable reading for me. I can't bear to watch TV simulations of surgery. But if you are able to persevere with a possibly over-long section on all the medical issues the rest of the book is worth the effort.

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Jul 21, 2011 Joseph Reynolds rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Felt a bit padded. This is a good long article in a monthly magazine, not a book. He stretches the metaphors too much. But it is interesting the dichotomy of mind and body. As a rationalist, I don't believe all the krishna part of it, but meditation does strike me as something worthwhile. Possibly. It's just the mumbo jumbo part of it that is distressing.

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Sep 30, 2011 farmwifetwo rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction

Ego was the first thought I had reading this book. It is very ego-centric. Not in a bad way, just different. It is about him and only him. His views, his journey. Little except a comment here or there about his family or friends and it's impact on them.

Very honest, lots to think about.

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Sep 06, 2011 Yvonne Barlow rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Begins very well, but it drags on rather too long. Parks reveals a great deal about himself, very bravely! The absolute positive point is that he is in a position to teach other men to listen to their bodies. I would love my husband to read this, but the length and pace would turn him off.

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Dec 06, 2012 Keven rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This was a very unusual book. It's part medical mystery, part too much information, and part spiritual journey all told in the present tense. At times I couldn't put the book down. Other times I could not stand to read another page. I am glad I read this book but I don't know exactly why.

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About Tim Parks

Born in Manchester in 1954, Tim Parks grew up in London and studied at Cambridge and Harvard. In 1981 he moved to Italy where he has lived ever since. He has written eleven novels including Europa, Destiny, Cleaver and, most recently, Dreams of Rivers and Seas, as well as three non-fiction accounts of life in northern Italy (most recently A Season with Verona), a collection of 'narrative' essays,...more

More about Tim Parks...

Books by Tim Parks

A Season with Verona: Travels Around Italy in Search of Illusion, National Character . . . and Goals!

Medici Money: Banking, Metaphysics, and Art in Fifteenth-Century Florence

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