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Who's Pushing Your Buttons?: Handling the Difficult People in Your Life
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Who's Pushing Your Buttons?: Handling the Difficult People in Your Life

3.85  ·  Rating Details ·  202 Ratings  ·  20 Reviews
Button-pushers come in all shapes and sizes, but they have one thing in common: Their behavior drives us crazy and makes us dream of ways to escape the mess we're in.

The person who pushes your buttons is likely someone who matters to you - a spouse, a parent, a boss, a fellow church member. Almost always this difficult person is connected to you by blood, love, faith, or m
ebook, 224 pages
Published July 1st 2004 by Thomas Nelson Publishers
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Oct 09, 2009 Jan rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone who has difficult relationships or feels victimized by others
I listened to the audiobook version read by the author. This book tackles problem relationships that occur when one person "pushes the buttons" of another. He addresses how to evaluate the problem, how to identify your button pusher and what your part is in the process, and how to deal with the problem. He does a great job of giving examples of different relationships and problems and ideas for working with making changes. The author is a psychologist and talented speaker who comes across with a ...more
Aug 19, 2012 Kathy rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: healing-books
OUTSTANDING!!! I'm buying this for several of my friends who are married to MAJOR Button Pushers!!! Wish I had read this years ago. Thanking God my husband in NOT my BUTTON PUSHER! Trying & praying very hard NOT to be ANYONE'S Button Pusher myself.
Enchantress  ☮Debbicat ஐ
Fantastic!! Highly recommended!!!
Jul 29, 2010 Jennifer rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: psychology
This book had a lot of good ideas for the manner in which to approach difficult relationships. However, the biggest thing I took away from this book is that if you yourself have not handled your own grief, your own backlog of emotional baggage, you are not ready to take this step yet. Sure, perhaps a few little things here and there - but you can't begin to overhaul your relationship with others until you've taken a good hard look at yourself and your own growth. Maybe that sounds cliche here, b ...more
Victor Da Silva
(Please don't always pay attention to critics, because each critic has its different point of view, and it's almost always better to see it for yourself ratter than only paying attention to other's comments) I've read books like this, that are only in spanish (I'm from Venezuela) and they have some similar points of view, but I don't think that pointing out the person's problem, rather than seeing the problem as something outside the person so it won't "hurt" them would be better, and this book ...more
The concepts are 5 star, his other books have better writing. I can appreciate the desire to be fair and use both he and she for the button pusher, however, it changed back and forth so often it was distracting. I would prefer he stayed with one pronoun unless he is telling a specific story about a male or female button pusher. His other books and the concept would get 5 stars and I recommend his books on boundaries.
Sep 24, 2013 Stacey rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
I loved this book more than I thought I would. The advice Dr. Townsend gives in how to deal with difficult people was wonderful. Much of what he said can also be used in a daily manner. I think the best part was how he's talking as if you can control another person, when in reality all you are controlling is yourself. You simply take away the second party in the argument.
Mark Manderson
Mar 05, 2016 Mark Manderson rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great quick read. Breaks down how to set boundaries (and hold them) in actionable steps. It shows how lack of ownership from another should result in problems for them. The author does a great job giving many "roll playing" examples showing the steps from showing your in their corner and care for them, how to state the problem and solution, and how to overcome even the most difficult diversions.
Skylar Hatfield
May 25, 2010 Skylar Hatfield rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book was great. I wish I had read it 10 years ago. This book is more about co-dependency than dealing with people who irritate you once in a while. I It is the most instructive, constructive book I have read on dealing with difficult people. I recommend this book to anyone who loves someone or works with someone who has personality issues or addictions. I will re-read this book.
Deborah Chapman
May 17, 2016 Deborah Chapman rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Religious perspective

If you are interested in a Christian-focused approach, this may work for you. Personally, I prefer that this important information be included in the initial review, so that I may make an informed choice when purchasing.
Mar 14, 2016 Offbeatonpurpose rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: christian-life
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Ann Swan
Nov 04, 2014 Ann Swan rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is a great book, one that i will have to read again to take notes. In the future i will better handle people that push my buttons. I tend to shy away from these people, but will try to solve instead of walk away going forward.
Nov 08, 2011 MerD rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Too much religion, not enough substance on how to deal with the asshole, bipolar, belligerent ex husband.
May 04, 2009 Cathy rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
great book for dealing with challenging people :)
Jan 16, 2013 Karen rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Another solid effort by 1/2 of the successful Cloud / Townsend writing team. Great advice here.
Feb 05, 2010 Paulette rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Keen insight that teaches one how to look inside a situation and navigate within personal boundaries that protect.
Feb 01, 2015 Caroline rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I would give this 4.5 if I could! Full of great information we could ALL use, as there are lots of button pushers out there in the world! :)
oh boy...don't even get me started...I hope to learn much from this about myself, faith, surrender and boundaries
Lori West
Lori West rated it it was amazing
Mar 11, 2016
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Dec 29, 2012
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Jan 10, 2016
Marcus rated it it was amazing
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Apr 04, 2013
Jennifer Claypoole
Jennifer Claypoole rated it it was amazing
Feb 20, 2015
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Ruben Rodriguez rated it liked it
Dec 29, 2012
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Dr. John Townsend is a psychologist, popular speaker, co-host of the nationally broadcast New Life Live! radio program, and a cofounder of the Cloud-Townsend Clinic and Cloud-Townsend Resources. He has written or co-written twenty-seven books, including the bestselling Boundaries, Safe People, and Hiding from Love. He and his wife, Barbi, live in southern California. They have two grown sons.
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