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Drowning Instinct

by Ilsa J. Bick (Goodreads Author)

4.08 of 5 stars 4.08 · rating details · 968 ratings · 269 reviews

There are stories where the girl gets her prince, and they live happily ever after. (This is not one of those stories.)

Jenna Lord’s first sixteen years were not exactly a fairytale. Her father is a controlling psycho and her mother is a drunk. She used to count on her older brother—until he shipped off to Afghanistan. And then, of course, there was the time she almost died...more

Hardcover, 352 pages

Published February 1st 2012 by Lerner Publishing Group

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May 09, 2012 karen rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: why-yes-i-ya, welcome-author

this is a karen-four, and maybe not-four-everyone four.

it is dense and intense. it is like 5 YA books in one. it is like HELLO I AM A BOOK AND I AM ABOUT A GIRL WHO NEARLY DIED IN A FIRE AS A YOUNG CHILD AND IS COVERED WITH HORRIFIC BURNS AND HOW THESE COMPLICATE HER LIFE. OH AND SHE IS ALSO A CUTTER. OH AND ALSO, HER FAMILY IS COMPLETELY MESSED UP WITH THE ALCOHOLISM AND THE SCREWING AROUND AND THE INABILITY TO COMMUNICATE AND WHATNOT. OH, AND SHE WAS INSTITUTIONALIZED. OH, AND ALSO ALSO SHE CO...more
this is a karen-four, and maybe not-four-everyone four.

it is dense and intense. it is like 5 YA books in one. it is like HELLO I AM A BOOK AND I AM ABOUT A GIRL WHO NEARLY DIED IN A FIRE AS A YOUNG CHILD AND IS COVERED WITH HORRIFIC BURNS AND HOW THESE COMPLICATE HER LIFE. OH AND SHE IS ALSO A CUTTER. OH AND ALSO, HER FAMILY IS COMPLETELY MESSED UP WITH THE ALCOHOLISM AND THE SCREWING AROUND AND THE INABILITY TO COMMUNICATE AND WHATNOT. OH, AND SHE WAS INSTITUTIONALIZED. OH, AND ALSO ALSO SHE COMES FROM A FAMILY HISTORY OF MADNESS AND SUICIDE. OH, AND ALSO INCEST. AND MURRRRRDERRRRR. OH, AND LET'S THROW IN AN INAPPROPRIATE RELATIONSHIP WITH HER TEACHER.AND SOMETHING ELSE THAT ORDINARILY WOULD HAVE BEEN ITS OWN BOOK BUT IN THIS BOOK IS JUST ONE.MORE.THING.

i mean, most people would just write a couple of books out of that. not ilsa j. bick!she just goes for it, full throttle.

and for the most part, it works.

i read this book straight through, all page-turning and groaning and needing to know what else could possibly happen. a lot did, my friends. a lot.

the structure of this book, which is a sort of audio confession into a policeman's recorder thingie on the evening of an incident, makes the story incredibly fast-paced, but of course only gives us one side of the story. a damaged side. but what a great voice this character has! and i kind of want to blame any inconsistencies of other-character-behavior on her - on her being an unreliable narrator, but it might just be wide-eyed trust and me liking the book enough to overlook how parents can go from not letting this girl shower with the door closed and inspecting her for new cuts every single day to just booking out of town for a week without a thought about possible hazards. for example. there are a couple of "whaaaa??" moments like that, and i will just say "that's what happens when you have an unreliable narrator, son." and hope that that's true.

but - yeah. these are very nuanced characters who don't always behave the way you think they would/should. and that's pretty great in YA books - i love to see that. and even though sometimes you feel like, "AND that?? AND this??," the snowballing is more fun than unrealistic. fun is definitely not the correct word here. but you know what i mean - gripping?? satisfying? awesome?

dunno - i kind of don't want to say too much about this. but i do recommend it. so.

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73 likes · like · see review

Aug 04, 2012 Stacia ~ Mistress of Mediocrity rated it 3 of 5 stars

Recommended to Stacia ~ Mistress of Mediocrity by: Isamlq

Shelves: young-adult

3.5 stars. Deciding whether to round up or down was an extremely hard decision and I'm still not sure why.

I don't want to tell this story and you know why? Because this is a fairy tale with teeth and claws.

Have you ever finished a book and found yourself unsure of what to think? I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around what I just read. Part of me was intrigued by this story, while part of me is sitting here thinking...wait, what?

"Jenna, please. Please, look at me."
I did - and that's

...more

23 likes · like · see review

Dec 23, 2012 Wendy Darling rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: young-adult, 2012-publication, lerner, february, carolrhoda, read-2012, psychological-thriller, icky-subjects, unreliable-narrator

3.5 stars This is a compelling read, and I appreciate the complexity/moral ambiguity that the author was trying to portray.

I felt very detached from these characters overall, however, and it doesn't help that I found the story to be predictable up until the very end. I can see why this one has stirred up quite a bit of shock, especially with its more titillating elements. I can't help but feel that though the details of the two stories are different, Drowning Instinct has many of the same melod...more

15 likes · like · see review

Jan 31, 2012 Giselle rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: arc, ebook, favorites, contemporary

Insane! This is the best word to describe Drowning Instinct. Insanely good; insanely terrifying; i-n-s-a-n-e! Ever since I cracked the cover, I can't stop thinking about this book. First, to analyze it, now, to figure out what the heck I've just read. It's the type of book that you just plow through because it makes you so restless that you must keep reading and reading, all the while knowing, just knowing, that the storm is coming. So close it could be right on the next page. Really, it's freak...more Insane! This is the best word to describe Drowning Instinct. Insanely good; insanely terrifying; i-n-s-a-n-e! Ever since I cracked the cover, I can't stop thinking about this book. First, to analyze it, now, to figure out what the heck I've just read. It's the type of book that you just plow through because it makes you so restless that you must keep reading and reading, all the while knowing, just knowing, that the storm is coming. So close it could be right on the next page. Really, it's freaking brilliant! Even though I'm still dumbfounded by it. You'll turn the last page, you'll gasp, you'll think, you'll reminisce. Some may even read it again, though I doubt that would help. Don't get me wrong, the book is far from confusing, it's simply unreal. You just need to read it to understand. It's also the the type of story best enjoyed when you know nothing about it going in. So all I'm going to tell you is this:

Jenna tells us her story. Scratch that. She tells the police her story by way of a tape recorder they give her so she can do it at her own pace. (The format is reminiscent of Jay Asher's Thirteen Reasons Why). While she's telling it, you feel so close to this character it's like you're connected to her. You can hear her intonations, feel the tone of her voice. On top of this, she sounds her age; she sounds like you'd expect her to sound. It makes her so real and most importantly: sincere. Jenna comes off as smart and flawed, she's struggling to find herself. To find someone who will listen and care. Then she does; she finds Mitch- her teacher. We're sent deep into Jenna's thoughts and feelings during this story. So deep that we get easily confused as to who, exactly, is the victim here. Things that you thought you were against, don't seem so wrong anymore. It's not black and white; just like real life. Flawlessly weaved together, the multiple plot lines hypnotizes you so, that you don't realize you've been holding your breath for 45 minutes frantically turning the pages. (What? you can't hold your breath for that long? Well… you will LEARN!).

Do you get it yet? This book is intense! Intense, suspenseful, passionate- all masterfully put together into an incredibly, profound novel.

--
For more of my reviews, visit my blog at Xpresso Reads (less)

40 likes · like · see review

Apr 25, 2012 Michelle, the Bookshelf Stalker rated it 2 of 5 stars

You can read my review at badassbookreviews.com (tomorrow) or below...

If you are reading my review, let me first start off with a small disclaimer, I seem to be the only one in the entire book universe that disliked this book. In fact, most reviews speak of how much they loved Drowning Instinct. I encourage everyone to read those reviews before you make any decisions on whether this book is right for you.

I had so many issues with this book. But I am going to attempt to keep them down to a minim...more

26 likes · like · see review

Mar 09, 2013 Christina (A Reader of Fictions) rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: netgalley, favorites-contemps, needs-more-hype

Whoa. What an incredibly dark and well-done novel. I have absolutely no doubt that Ilsa J. Bick will come to be recognized alongside authors like Laurie Halse Anderson. She clearly has no problem plumbing the darkest and most terrifying of human emotions. Like Anderson, she also focuses on teens, on the bad stuff - not the shiny vampires and the sweet first loves.

Reading this book...it's going to hurt. Jenna is incredibly messed up. You learn this up front. She's spent a year in an institution,...more

10 likes · like · see review

Apr 20, 2013 Renae M. rated it 5 of 5 stars

Recommended to Renae by: Pinkie Pie

Shelves: books-i-own, read-in-2013, published-2012, viewers-choice, contemporary-or-realistic-fiction

We readers like to torture ourselves with dark, depressing stories about awful things happening to perfectly nice people. It’s a true thing. And usually, these terrible stories make us massively uncomfortable, and we tend to wind up with a very severe case of The Feels. These are the books that crush our hearts and make us mope in bed all day. These are the books that give the most impressive book hangovers.

Drowning Instinct is one of those books.

Beyond the painful reading, however, Drowning Ins ...more

2 likes · like · see review

Mar 02, 2013 Michelle [Helen Geek] marked it as to-read

Shelves: too-damned-spensive-lucy, price-watch, tm_challenge_2013_in_2013, tbr-kindle, buddy-read, ntm_author_2013, ya

01/12/2013 - someone told me today this was a favorite book. I love to read recommeded favs, but this one has a steep price. About $9.50. I'll have to pass for now. Just principle -- Know?

2 likes · like · see review

Apr 20, 2012 Reynje rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: contemp-or-realistic, it-s-complicated, read-2012, young-adult

“In my experience, the truly evil are few and good people, with the very best intentions, often make very bad decisions and get in way over their heads before they know it. People drown, quietly before our eyes, all the time.” - (Ilsa J Bick in the Acknowledgements of Drowning Instinct)

I can never resist a compelling, unreliable narrator.

There are few literary techniques I find more engaging than a strong, distinct voice – especially one I’m not sure I can trust. And in sixteen-year-old Jenna...more “In my experience, the truly evil are few and good people, with the very best intentions, often make very bad decisions and get in way over their heads before they know it. People drown, quietly before our eyes, all the time.” - (Ilsa J Bick in the Acknowledgements of Drowning Instinct)

I can never resist a compelling, unreliable narrator.

There are few literary techniques I find more engaging than a strong, distinct voice – especially one I’m not sure I can trust. And in sixteen-year-old Jenna Lord, Ilsa J Bick has created a razor sharp voice in a story that is anything but clear-cut.

Drowning Instinct puts the reader in the uncomfortable position of listening in on Jenna’s (very) unsettling story, as she dictates it onto a digital recorder for the detective waiting outside the door. She is, in her own words: ”..lucky, a liar, a good girl, a princess, a thief – and a killer.” And what she has to say is not easy to hear.

As Bick herself says, this is a difficult, risky book. It does not present predators and victims in a black and white fashion. There is a great deal of ambiguity and complex content – including, but not limited to: self-harm, alcoholism, sexual and physical abuse, grief, PTSD, suicide and (view spoiler) However, what prevents this book from descending into the realm of manipulative tragedy porn is that it does not ask the reader to agree with the choices the characters make. But it does demand that the reader think about them, question them, examine the reasoning and motivations of these damaged people.

From the opening, Drowning Instinct is an intense novel. While the pieces of the story fall into place gradually, with Jenna alternately withholding and revealing information, the pacing never feels slow. Rather, the slightly ominous tone, the sensation that the plot is inexorably drawing towards a shocking conclusion, and the format in which Jenna relates events, keeps the story gripping.

Jenna is an intriguing narrator: intelligent, acerbic, obviously in pain. Her voice is extremely well-executed, balancing her tendency to keep the detective (and thus the reader) at arm’s length, with her raw vulnerability. She is not entirely a sympathetic character – and yet throughout the book all I wanted was for to be able to heal, to find relief. As the layers to her story are revealed, Jenna becomes clearer as a character and her actions are given greater context, which complicates the issue of judging her choices. In this respect, Bick has crafted not only a realistic, complex character – but also developed an interesting dynamic between Jenna and the reader.

There are some plot elements that I felt weakened the believability of the story overall – the biggest example being the dramatic changes in attitude of Jenna’s parents. The abrupt turn-arounds in behaviour are almost whip-lash inducing, and the justification provided feels flimsy. That said, I think it’s worth considering that these parts of the story reflect Jenna as a narrator, and that we are hearing what Jenna herself refers to as her “version” of the truth. Early in the novel, Jenna muses on what it means to tell to the truth – and her inability to provide a black and white story, given the circumstances in which hers unfolds.

This is not a perfect novel, nor is it an easy one. Bick takes a gamble in choosing to tell this particular story in such a conflicted, ambiguous manner. Yet, while Jenna reaches a conclusion at the end of the book – readers are left to form their own. And I believe that rather than trying to convince readers of a particular stance, this book is instead simply urging them to think. To hear a different perspective. But most of all, to understand what compels such broken people to go to such extreme measures to mitigate their pain – whether we support or condemn their actions.
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May 12, 2013 Inger rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: death-n-tearjerkers, emotional-damaged, favorites, recommended-stand-alones, romance, stand-alones, young-adult

'People drown, quietly, before our eyes, all the time.' - Ilsa J. Bick (Acknowledgments in 'Drowning Instinct')

Wow.
It's been long since I read a book that intense and believe me 'intense' is just the word to describe it.
Maybe it's the title? 'Cause when you finished this book you just want to cry by simply reading this two words.

By telling her story with a tape recorder to the police one feels incredibly near to the narrator, Jenna. And she's not just any main character you have in random books...more

2 likes · like · see review

Apr 17, 2013 Lisa (Badass Bookie) rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

The Short Story? - My favourite read of the year so far, Drowning Instinct takes forbidden romance to a whole new level. Incredibly raw and undoubtedly powerful, Bick explores the complexity behind a romance that is morally wrong. Dark, grim and utterly compelling, Bick's Drowning Instinct blurs the lines between right and wrong. Refreshingly original and beautifully written, Drowning Instinct takes YA fiction to a whole new level.

The Long Story? - This definitely isn't a novel for everyone...more The Short Story? - My favourite read of the year so far, Drowning Instinct takes forbidden romance to a whole new level. Incredibly raw and undoubtedly powerful, Bick explores the complexity behind a romance that is morally wrong. Dark, grim and utterly compelling, Bick's Drowning Instinct blurs the lines between right and wrong. Refreshingly original and beautifully written, Drowning Instinct takes YA fiction to a whole new level.

The Long Story? - This definitely isn't a novel for everyone, it explores the moral ambiguity behind a teacher and student love affair. On top of that, it also explores very serious psychological issues and dysfunctional families. So it's not a very happy book, for a contemporary fiction novel, it's definitely more teeth and claws then fluff and clouds. That said, it was absolutely brilliant. It was beautifully written, the narration was compelling and the plot was full of twists and turns. I know there are a couple of YA books that take on the teacher/student relationship aspect but none have been done as well as this. It was raw, full of emotion and refreshingly real. Bick isn't trying to sell the whole "THIS IS WRONG"perspective, in fact she writes such a beautiful love story that you question whether the love affair between Jenna and Mr Anderson is so wrong that it is right? It's such a beautiful complexity that pushes boundaries and blurs the lines. It's unpredictable and chaotic yet there is something compelling about the novel, I couldn't put it down!

The novel is completely narrated by our protagonist Jenna which allowed readers to form a deeper connection to her character. It probably also influenced our perspective of the book since it was very subjective however I thought that was actually a good thing because it really gave insight into Jenna's character . I really like Jenna, she was so broken and incredibly real that reading the book, I just felt waves of emotion crash over me as Jenna's life crumbled to pieces. She's gone through so much and yet nothing seems to be going right until she meets Mr. Anderson. I actually really liked his character, he wasn't despicable or pedophiliac, I genuinely believed that he loved Jenna and their romance was so many degrees of wrong yet you can't help but secretly wish things turned out differently.

Drowning Instinct is not a book for the light-hearted. It's dark and twisted and grim, it's explores touchy subjects that many authors wouldn't ever consider writing. It's a bold book and a gamble but I think Bick pulled it off really well, it was a beautiful love story that was different and not something that you usually find in YA. The characters were complex and truly troubled on so many levels. It's a book about companionship and love and questioning whether something is wrong if two people are truly in love and it's about the consequences of loving too much. Edgy, raw and chilling, Dark Instinct is a publishing phenomenal.
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Mar 25, 2013 Ashley Fierro rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: fan-fucking-tastic, bittersweet, speechless

Help, I have been emotionally attached to this book, and I mean HOLY HELL I drowned myself in it... unpredictably, and just like it says,

“This is a ~~fairy tale~~ with teeth and claws.”

“In my experience, the truly evil are few and good people, with the very best intentions, often make very bad decisions and get in way over their heads before they know it. People drown, quietly before our eyes, all the time.”

I always love a book that does not present the typical average love story, and this is...more Help, I have been emotionally attached to this book, and I mean HOLY HELL I drowned myself in it... unpredictably, and just like it says,

“This is a ~~fairy tale~~ with teeth and claws.”

“In my experience, the truly evil are few and good people, with the very best intentions, often make very bad decisions and get in way over their heads before they know it. People drown, quietly before our eyes, all the time.”

I always love a book that does not present the typical average love story, and this is one of them, told beautifully. I've read a few novels that involve this kind of taboo romance, and now, after reading it, I've realize that none have come up to par with this book. This story has a bittersweet romance and a plot that leads you on an emotional roller coaster. I felt sorry for characters, angry at others, and left in a panic frenzy wondering what will happen next.

Because if you can just hold off the moment when you must confront reality, time stands still and you can keep pretending that life will continue as you've known it: that nothing, not even something as wonderful and terrible as love has broken your world beyond repair.

Reality is made up of two phases, or sides. One is temporary, another eternal. Reality is nothing but the hardcore facts of life, its an enduring concept that makes me feel many ways, which are emotional responses including depressed. One thing I learnt in life is that we are go-through experience, reality is a part of life, yet we do not always accept what reality tosses in our direction, which builds other directions, and even destroys us. Sometimes we need imagination to take us to another world outside our own. Sometimes we need imagination to explore the possibilities, which is ok, now if we look for answers within ourselves while keeping reality in mind, that my friends, its the trick of facing our reality.

How the story closes off is not something I would have expected...but then again, there's a lot of things you'd have never expected to occur in this book. *tears*(less)

1 like · like · see review

Apr 07, 2012 Emily (Book Jems) rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: released, young-adult, all-time-favorites, bring-tissues, cover-love, contemporary, favorite-authors, angst, controversial-subjects, romance, suspense, best-books-ever, left-me-breathless, need-to-go-eat-my-feelings, obsessed, review-on-blog, run-out-and-buy-it, there-aren-t-enough-stars, whert-the-hell

As seen on Ed and Em's Reviews!

Drowning Instinct is one of the most emotional reads that I've read in a while… in fact, it may be one of the most emotional books that I've read ever.

It's mostly the last hundred pages that did me in. The narrator, while she explains her emotions often, seemed emotionless at the same time. It was almost like she was holding in how she felt and forcing herself to be a robot. I noticed this in the first book of Ilsa J. Bick's dystopian series, Ashes as well. I think...more As seen on Ed and Em's Reviews!

Drowning Instinct is one of the most emotional reads that I've read in a while… in fact, it may be one of the most emotional books that I've read ever.

It's mostly the last hundred pages that did me in. The narrator, while she explains her emotions often, seemed emotionless at the same time. It was almost like she was holding in how she felt and forcing herself to be a robot. I noticed this in the first book of Ilsa J. Bick's dystopian series, Ashes as well. I think it worked better in Drowning Instinct. It was understandable with everything the poor girl in this story had to deal with.

Honestly, the ending has torn me apart. I am typing through my tears. It was so heart-wrenching. This ending, this entire book, will stick with me for quite a while. Especially with the way the book left off. Definitely not a happy ending. Though from the blurb, it is obvious that a book of this subject would have a sad ending. I didn't know if I would read this in the first place, because I usually am not a unhappy ending girl. Happy endings and happy romances are the books I enjoy most. (I'm just saying, if I wanted to see an unhappy ending, I'd look my my life and the lives of those less fortunate!)

I don't know if I would say I enjoyed this book. It was an amazing read, but can you really enjoy something that shows the vulnerability and fears of a young girl? She's traumatized by everything that has happened in her life and who can blame her? It tore my heart open to read about her life and how the one thing that made me happy was taken away.

I have never seen a teacher and student relationship firsthand. They are reported in the news every so often, from all across the United States. I honestly never really found it disturbing. A lot of people will disagree with me. I'm not saying that it's okay. It's not. Not at all. And I know this book is fiction, but after reading this, I wonder if this is how the students and teachers feel. Are they in love? Do they want to spend their lives together? Or is it just a therapeutic outlet? This has always been a fascinating subject in my opinion. When finishing this novel, I am even more intrigued now.

Drowning Instinct really makes you think. It doesn't broach this controversial subject by examining it as a crime. You see one side of the story. The "victim's" story and how she changed from what she experienced. This book makes you think about whether all cases truly make the students a victim. Are you a vicim if you act on your own behalf? Are you a victim if you fall in love?

This book was a roller coaster and my heart is still in my throat. I think it's a great book, but it's definitely not for everyone. It's a tough subject that Ms. Bick handles beautifully.(less)

4 likes · like · see review

Feb 06, 2012 Bidisha rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012-pubbed, arc, net-galley, cover-love, exceeded-espectations, eye-catching-titles, favourite-of-favourites, favorites, heartcrushing, pulse-racing, that-thing-called-deep-insight, those-with-the-twists, wowzer-of-a-read

Also found on Dreamcatcher's Lair

Drowning Instinct is one of those books that can't exactly be summed up in a review. But there are certain things I can tell you. Like,

--While the book description tells you a few things, it doesn't prepare you with expectations. At least for me, it didn't. Which means, that the experience that Drowning Instinct packs within those pages, may, in plain-speak, blow your mind.

--There's self harm and all kinds of abuse and other twisted things that will take you to d...more

4 likes · like · see review

Jul 25, 2012 Asia rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: young-adult

I had so many problems with this book. I think the biggest one is that the author tries to make a statement about how "no one is all good or all bad." But a 30-something teacher who sleeps with his 16-year-old student? Pretty much all bad, if you ask me. I wish more had been made about how destructive and dangerous such a relationship can be. (Other than the tidy, completely unbelievable and overly literal ending...)

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May 18, 2013 Madelyn Baker rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I'm not even sure where to begin with this book. As far as I can tell, the main plot is about Jenna and her teacher. But don't worry, that's not all. This book has enough side-plot to fill this entire page, but I'll keep it to the point. Childhood trauma, family issues (on Mommy and daddy sides), depression, self-harm addiction, and, oh, to top it all off, lets throw in some possibilities of murder! I'm not going into the nitty-gritty details for the sake of keeping this review (mostly) spoiler...more

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Apr 23, 2013 Pinkie Pie rated it 5 of 5 stars

I can't. I literally can't. What are words? From the blurb, I could already tell that this book would be about, or at least feature, a student/teacher affair. I was prepared for that. I was prepared to feel icky things and to be outraged and betrayed. But that never happened. None of it happened. Ilsa J Bick so expertly blurred the lines between right and wrong, monster and prince, that by the end I had no idea which way was up. Drowning Instinct turned all my perceptions and reactions on their...more I can't. I literally can't. What are words? From the blurb, I could already tell that this book would be about, or at least feature, a student/teacher affair. I was prepared for that. I was prepared to feel icky things and to be outraged and betrayed. But that never happened. None of it happened. Ilsa J Bick so expertly blurred the lines between right and wrong, monster and prince, that by the end I had no idea which way was up. Drowning Instinct turned all my perceptions and reactions on their head, and I'm really not sure how I'm going to recover.

Jenna. Poor Jenna. She has had a very tough sixteen years. A victim in a fire, she is covered in skin grafts, and other, self-inflicted scars. She has had a stay in a mental hospital, and her family is falling apart around her. She is losing control, even when she thinks she is gaining it. I could not help but feel for her. Every time she picked up that blade, my heart ached right alongside hers. She is so broken and fragile. I rooted for her through every page.

From the very beginning I loved Jenna's voice. Drowning Instinct starts out with a rescue: Jenna is laying on a gurney in the emergency, having just been pulled out of an icy lake. From there, she is given a tape recorder and asked to recall her story. Jenna's voice was fresh and snarky, and I loved the bits where she spoke directly to the detective, Bob. Right away you could tell that Jenna is a messed up, damaged girl, and her perception of reality is inevitably fractured. So you honestly cannot trust her - and that is the best sort of narrator.

I tore through the pages of Drowning Instinct. It was not a high-action book, but rather centered around very real and compelling and flawed characters. There was also a bit of mystery, because even leading up to the last pages I could not figure out how Jenna ended up in that lake and who put her there. So of course I had to know, and feverishly flipped through this book well into the wee hours of the morning. It's been quite some time that a book has kept me up at night, and I can tell you, the fatigue this morning was well worth it.

Drowning Instinct is not the easiest book in the world to read. While none of the trauma that happened to Jenna was ever very graphic, it was still painful to witness and to think about. I cried more than once with each new revelation. At the end, I was left completely speechless. I wasn't sure what had actually happened, and in my opinion, that makes for exactly the right kind of ending.

For readers of gritty contemporary, Drowning Instinct does not hold any punches. You will be confused, elated, scared, and manipulated. You will not know what hit you. But I can guarantee this book will make you think, and possibly flip it back over and immediately start over from the beginning.(less)

1 like · like · see review

Mar 15, 2013 Paula Phillips rated it 5 of 5 stars

#Out of my 94 books read so far for 2013 , this would have to be in my Top 5 List.

Have you ever read a book that was so hard to review ? You just couldn't find the words to explain it but it was OMG amazing and worth reading ? For me, that was Drowning Instinct - from the cover I was captivated and drawn in and then as I saw the author's name I wondered if I would enjoy it or not as I wasn't a huge fan of her Draw the Dark and Ashes Books.
However as I have always been a fan of Pyschological and...more

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Jan 15, 2013 Aleeshas2 rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites, a-teacher, bad-endings, can-of-worms, drama, orginal-idea, why-did-you-make-me-cry, wow-just-wow, true-love

I come out and say this clearly and frankly quite bluntly, Drowning Instinct Is a Gem of a book and can quite possibly be one of the best novels I've ever read. I know thats quite a big call to make , I know, but I'm still caught up with the adrenaline of the moment. You know the feeling after reading a good book when you realise you'll probably never pick it up again like when you walk past your bookshelf looking for something to read and glance over books that you know are really good but some...more I come out and say this clearly and frankly quite bluntly, Drowning Instinct Is a Gem of a book and can quite possibly be one of the best novels I've ever read. I know thats quite a big call to make , I know, but I'm still caught up with the adrenaline of the moment. You know the feeling after reading a good book when you realise you'll probably never pick it up again like when you walk past your bookshelf looking for something to read and glance over books that you know are really good but somehow lose their magic or appeal once you know what happens or how it ends, like all the supence and action is just stripped away.
Well, Drowning Instinct is special in that it isn't like those books at all , it won't sit on your bookshelf gathering dust. With every Read you dwell deeper in the novel , you feel more than what you felt before , the emotions more powerful , the meaning of the book gets clearer and clearer and you understand more
. ..I suddenly realised how hard it is to review this book without giving anything away, even small hints can give away alot I've realised.
Firstly, I like to say to all you picking this book up for the first time to do so with an open mind because this is the 'other' story that we rarely here about- the 'other' woman, the affairs, the love between a teacher and his student, the girl who cuts, the other girl whos pregnant , the arsonist, the attempted murderer... Their stories are what interested me about the story , honestly from the blurb I pretty much knew what the book was about and what direction it was going to take and that was actually the reason why I picked it up , to see how the author would portray the story and win over the readers. The book explores the people society is just to quick to judge and brings to the reader a new light on the subject of judgement and the abiguity of it . The book askes the readers, Who's to say what is wrong or right or what is better or to judge by labels ? Clarifies that some things are just they way they are and because well.. They are. ..
Okaaaay~ that is off topic but what Im trying to say us try to get the most out of this book because really, it has alot to offer, dont just read it and cry or think to yourself " well that was okay " and than leave it at that, try to understand , even if its just a little bit because ...well isnt that,the beauty of books ? to learn and to explore. This book puts on display people stripped of everyting only left with raw emotions and thought- despair, confusion, hurt, pain and ..need..

Okay moving on , the writing in this book is superb,being from the point of view of a teenage girl and if I didn't know better I would think that this was real. Her thoughts, her actions and her feelings you read it all and you can't help but feel some connection , the author takes emotions and feelings that everyone can relate to, on some scale,and puts them into words . The story was well paced and keeps the readers interested the whole way through. I think if the story had a quicker than I'd be overwhelmed. The begginning was captivating and detailed and the themes explored were very philosophical which I love although its common theme I tend to avoid because ..well its complicated. But what really iced the cake for me was the storyline itself which means alot to me personally as i've wanting to write a book for a very long time and I always wanted to write a book I ,myself, wanted to read .So I planned and planned and I came up with an idea shocking similiar to this book and I realised honestly I'm glad someone else wrote about it because my book would never be nearly as good as this one was.
When I reading, there were times when I would put the book down and stop and ponder and there were times and awed at the writing and than copy some sentences down to quote in the future ( hee hee )
This review is probably leaving you extremely confused right now because its all over the place and honestly I know the reason is because , like I've said before, its hard to put into words everthing I think of when you mention this book, like sorting through a tsunami or thoughts and emotions .
So sorry about the crappy review but please please do yourself a favour and pick up this book, old or young , you wont regret.
5+ Stars(less)

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Jan 07, 2013 Jen rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: abuse-rape, disturbing, dysfunctional-families, high-school, relationships, romance, ya

Jenna Lord is entering a new high school after an "episode" which we slowly come to find out involves cutting, and a massive fire where she almost died. Immediately upon starting this school she is befriended by a science teacher, Mr. Anderson. Taking Jenna under his wing, he's way too friendly way too fast, so of course there is the inevitable ick factor because I know where this is headed.

And yes, it goes there, but however, there is so much more to the story. I loved the many twists and turn...more

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Dec 18, 2012 Kathryn rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites

This book is probably one of the most intense books I've read. Ilsa J. Bick is just so skilled at making her story's truly vivid and haunting. 9/10 starts

I recommend it for fans of Ilsa Bicks other books. But it's not for Gary tale lovers. This isn't all sunshine and happy endings. If you like a story with twists and turns and suspense then this is a good one.

Jenna is basically recording her story on a tape recorder. At first I didn't think this style of writing would be that good but I loved it...more

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Nov 13, 2012 Wisteriouswoman rated it 4 of 5 stars

Dark books that deal with troubled teens always interest me. This one is maybe too full of issues for just one girl.

I did have a mother who went off backpacking on the weekends and didn't give me any emergency numbers. Some man called and said he was going to rape me--I had to quick come up with a name of a person who I could stay with. So I could relate to the selfishness of her parents going off and leaving her and not worrying that something was wrong. As a parent I would never do that.

I lik...more

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Oct 21, 2012 TheRawPotato rated it 1 of 5 stars

Though the theme was deep, the plot was too predictable to me.

First day of school, newly found nemesis, perfect teacher, lunch incident, broken girl, blah blah blah. I've heard all this before.

What bothers me is that the whole book is written as if the protagonist is recording her story via voice recorder, which allows for an unrealistic retelling of her story. However, if you try to read it as an ordinary first-person story, the side comments to Bobby, detective and owner of the voice recorder,...more

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Oct 12, 2012 Holly rated it 3 of 5 stars

Hmmm...what should I say about this book? The whole book was basically the main character telling her story to a tape recorder for a detective which at first was a little annoying, but you got used to it pretty quickly. So the main character, Jenna, was pretty sad. She's been molested by her grandfather, her brother died in Afghanistan, her mother is a drunk, her father is a cheating a$$hole, she's been through a fire and had burns all over her back, and she has just been released from a mental...more

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Aug 22, 2012 Kim Smiley rated it 4 of 5 stars

What a very strange, intense book. I picked this book because one of my gr friends was reading Ashes and it sounded good. So I looked to see what other books this author has written and I requested them from my library. This one came in first.

Wow. Not what I expected, but in a good way. This book has it all, death, sex, alcohol, abuse, (in more ways than one) and the ability to make the reader wonder just exactly what the hell is really real and what isn't.

Jenna is one messed up 16 yr. old. Her...more

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Jun 29, 2012 Windy rated it 5 of 5 stars

I received Drowning Instinct by Ilsa J. Bick via a giveaway that Goodreads hosted so thank you Goodreads and Ilsa J. Bick for the opportunity to read and review this book. Drowning Instinct opens in the ER where Detective Bob Pendleton gives Jenna Lord a recorder because he “need[s] the story…need[s] the truth” (3). Jenna, already demonstrating the fact that she will be an unreliable narrator, replies to this by stating: “Like the two are the same thing” (3[ Jenna’s unreliability as a narrator i...more

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Mar 09, 2012 Pamela Kramer rated it 5 of 5 stars

Drowning Instinct by Ilsa J. Bick is one of those stories that when you finish the last page, you close the book and think about it for a bit, and then you open the book and read the first pages again so you really understand what is happening at the beginning.

Drowning Instinct is one of those books where things are not as they appear -- even after you've finished the book. It's one of those books that leave the reader thinking -- about the characters and about what really happened.

Jenna Lord's...more

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Feb 14, 2012 Melanie Goodman added it

What I knew about Drowning Instinct before reading it: Nothing. I loved the cover. I occasionally talk to Ilsa Bick on Twitter about challah and rugelach. I might have read a synopsis at one point, but by the time I read the book, I’d forgotten what it said.

What you should know about Drowning Instinct before reading it: Almost nothing. Drowning Instinct is a book that reveals its secrets slowly. You know how rollercoasters you ride in the dark are always scarier than the ones where you can see t...more What I knew about Drowning Instinct before reading it: Nothing. I loved the cover. I occasionally talk to Ilsa Bick on Twitter about challah and rugelach. I might have read a synopsis at one point, but by the time I read the book, I’d forgotten what it said.

What you should know about Drowning Instinct before reading it: Almost nothing. Drowning Instinct is a book that reveals its secrets slowly. You know how rollercoasters you ride in the dark are always scarier than the ones where you can see the twists and turns up ahead? Drowning Instinct is a rollercoaster ride best taken in the dark. So I’m not going to tell you much about the plot. If you’re one of those people that feels the need to know those sorts of details ahead of time, there are plenty of others who will be happy to share them, I’m sure.

Here is what I will tell you about Drowning Instinct: It is BRILLIANT.

Drowning Instinct explores the ways in which people suffer silently, drowning on the inside, while looking perfectly fine to an outsider. Like the characters in Drowning Instinct, this book has a lot going on beneath the surface. Bick takes some big, bold risks, and they pay off. With a multitude of subplots woven together by conversational (and perhaps unreliable) narration, I never quite knew where the story was going, how it would find its way full circle, or how much I could believe. Bick kept me on edge from beginning to end. This is a one-sitting read; I could not put it down. To put it bluntly, Drowning Instinct is a total mindfuck.

You should not read Drowning Instinct if you are not comfortable floating within gray areas. The characters are not clearly good or evil, predator or prey. They are flawed and they are vulnerable, but ultimately they are only trying to do what is right for themselves. Ambiguity is abundant and it makes the novel simultaneously frustrating and thrilling. Outside of Dexter, I have never rooted so hard for something that felt so wrong. Drowning Instinct will call your morals into question. It is thought-provoking in the best kind of way: It grabbed hold of me and would not let go. Bick’s latest novel begs to be discussed.(less)

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Jan 05, 2012 Myvampfiction rated it 5 of 5 stars

Reviewed by Sue

*Warning: possible spoilers ahead.*

To be perfectly honest, I had no idea what this book was about when I requested it from NetGalley. I knew how I felt about the author’s book, Ashes, so I automatically requested it out of the need to read more of her writing. It wasn’t really even until about 70 pages in that I got the “uh-0h” vibe from Jenna’s teacher, Mr. Anderson that I even went I read the book info. To say the book drew me in is an understatement, because one of the things I...more

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Dec 09, 2011 Ashley rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: young-adult

Drowning Instinct by Ilsa Bick takes hold of you and doesn't let you go until the very last page. I'm proof: I read it in two sittings. Even knowing that Liam would be up at 7:00, I stayed up till 3:00 in the morning to finish it. Here's the description, courtesy of NetGalley.com:

There are stories where the girl gets her prince, and they live happily ever after. (This is not one of those stories.)

Jenna Lord's first sixteen years were not exactly a fairytale. Her father is a controlling psycho an...more

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About Ilsa J. Bick

Among other things, I was an English major in college and so I know that I'm supposed to write things like, "Ilsa J. Bick is ." Except I hate writing about myself in the third person like I'm not in the room. Helloooo, I'm right here . . . So let's just say that I'm a child psychiatrist (yeah, you read that right)as well as a film scholar, surgeon wannabe (meaning I did an internship in surgery an...more

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“This is a fairy tale with teeth and claws.” — 14 people liked it

“What's the point of not taking chances? I don't know if I could stand living my whole life afraid.” — 13 people liked it

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