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No More Christian Nice Guy: When Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts Men, Women and Children
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No More Christian Nice Guy: When Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts Men, Women and Children

3.72  ·  Rating Details  ·  274 Ratings  ·  33 Reviews
Using humorous examples from his own life, poignant stories, and vivid examples from contemporary culture, Coughlin shows how he learned to say no to the "nice guy" syndrome and instead reflect the true biblical model of manhood.
Hardcover, 224 pages
Published December 31st 2005 by Bethany House Publishers (first published January 1st 2005)
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John Gardner
Feb 22, 2010 John Gardner rated it really liked it
The men in my small group recently went through this book together. Coughlin distinguishes between “nice guys” and “good guys”, contending that Jesus was the latter, and so we Christian men ought to be as well. This entails living lives that are bold and adventurous rather than passive and uninspiring. It requires finding a balance between being “wise as serpents and innocent as doves” (Matt. 10:16). After all, Jesus was the man who “opened not his mouth” (Is. 53:7) in his own defense at his tri ...more
Feb 21, 2012 Thomas rated it really liked it
Shelves: general
Obviously like all books that fall into the quasi-scriptural/self-help section. It's not God-Breathed scripture, so you have to pray over it, but it is worth the read.

I congratulate the author for going out on a limb, and saying what needed to be said. He stated some pointed statements in this book, he got right down where the "Christian Nice Guy" lives, and pulled no punches. He not only challenged, but he proked! However, he is speaking out of empathy, because he once was a CNG!

His section on
Jul 13, 2007 Lucas rated it liked it
Recommends it for: Guys with masculinity issues
I'm not quite finished with this one yet, and it's been a tough slog so far. Parts of it made me very angry at Paul, since it seems like he's blaming women and the Women's Rights Movement of the 60's and 70's for a lot of what he sees is wrong with guys nowadays. And granted, what he sees is wrong really is wrong - men who are timid and meek and ever subservient, men who will not stand up for justice, men who bowl over in conflict just to avoid ruffling feathers, men who manipulate behind the sc ...more
Rhodes Davis
May 22, 2014 Rhodes Davis rated it liked it
I am skeptical of the every developing syndromes of the modern Western world. Perhaps we have syndrome syndrome (book idea!). So I was a bit suspicious when I saw the title but I was intrigued by a cursory glance through the book and decided to read it.

Whether there is a "Nice Guy Syndrome" or not I'll leave for others to judge (Robert Glover wrote "No More Mr. Nice Guy" which speaks from a secular perspective). However, it does address a problem among some men which is the passive-aggressive wa
Andy R.
Apr 29, 2013 Andy R. rated it it was amazing
Once you've read "Wild at Heart," reread it, then you are ready for this book. Seriously, this sits on my shelf right between the complete works of John Eldredge and "Why Men Hate Going to Church." If you love God but can't stand His followers you owe it to yourself to read those three books.
Phillip Lemons
Dec 19, 2015 Phillip Lemons rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2015-reads, man-up
This book is like a slap in the face followed by a cold drink of water. I believe Coughlin intentionally starts off with some strong language to slap the nice guy in the face. I interpret this to be a bit of a test to see if the reader wants to recover from the nice guy syndrome. Those who are can't see past being nice simply won't continue to find the treasure this book offers.

Coughlin's writing style matches his message. It is straight up what he believes to be true. Better than that, he prov
Matthew Harris
Jul 13, 2012 Matthew Harris rated it really liked it
No More Christian Nice Guy is a must read for any man that claims to be a Christian, or follower of Jesus. Christian men have a hard enough time putting up with the political correctness of the world. Good men in general are starting to become a dying breed because of the shifting values of society. I have known so many Christian nice guys and have been guilty of one myself to the point where I coward in fear because I would take the path of least resistance when I should have started a personal ...more
Heather Morgan
Feb 19, 2015 Heather Morgan rated it liked it
My chief complaint about this book, aside from the folksy, colloquial voice it's written in (which doesn't sound terribly credible) is that it should not be applied only to men. What can be mistaken for manliness is really just good boundaries. It turns out a companion book by the same title has been written for "Christian Nice Girls." I will probably check it out.
Nicholas Maulucci
May 27, 2014 Nicholas Maulucci rated it liked it
a thought-provoking book. many of the authors's philosophies are outside the box, and while I would not ascribe to all of them, many of them are relevant. his thesis that we as christian men are supposed to be good and not necessarily nice could be a reason our churches are losing masculinity. an easy read - a couple of hours and I recommend pastors and male christian workers to read this book.
Oct 08, 2013 Go2therock rated it it was amazing
Well, add this book to my list of 4 and 5 star books that serve a man well in learning to walk the straight and narrow. I'm not sure at what age I might begin considering to recommend this book, perhaps as early as high school, but it is certainly something that a man would find valuable throughout his life. Paul's contemporary and relatable voice is decidedly masculine, yet open and vulnerable, walking a firm line of manhood.

"I've been there" he says with frank honesty, and he points.
"This is
Jan 15, 2014 George rated it really liked it
This was a really great read. I was skeptical at first at what i would find but for an inspirational book, it was really good. He pulled no punches; candidly addressing many of the problems with masculinity today.
He draws his inspiration for his method from 1st Thessalonians 5:14.
The book is largely written for people who are already Christians and though many men will benefit from reading it, married men will especially be helped by this book.
Santino Maulucci
Oct 21, 2014 Santino Maulucci rated it really liked it
This was a very good book. I strongly recommend it to all Christian men. Paul Coughlin has shown in this book that Jesus was not a nice man. He was a good man. Read the book to find out what I'm talking about.
Feb 15, 2012 Jesse rated it really liked it
Very well written, full of many quotable things that make you want to post them on Facebook. Every Christian who has been affected by the watering down of Christianity by the evangelical church, or who have suffered from some type of abuse that has robbed someone of their will and assertiveness, needs to hear what is said, and every preacher needs to preach this. One thing that bugged me was that his advice on how to become more bold and overcome past abuse was too generic, and not very concrete ...more
For the first approximately half of the book, I felt that the main ideas were being over stated to the point of losing the key point. He seems a bit too eager to paint Christ as rough and rugged. It’s hard for me to give much credence to his scriptural interpretations. He is implying a tone of voice and manner that we just cannot know from the text alone.

I appreciate his perspective and don’t disagree with many of his points. They are worthwhile to consider and definitely add to the dialogue tha
Sep 11, 2014 Melissa rated it it was amazing
Totally though provoking book about men and perceptions of Jesus as a "nice guy"
May 29, 2009 Jason rated it it was ok
This book started out pretty good but I have just simply read too many books for Christian men to truly enjoy hearing some of the same ole stuff.

If you are a Christian guy or a girl who wants your guy to break out of a routine and live more passionately, I believe that this book will help you. But if you have read many books on the topic of Christian men, then you might get bogged down in the repetition of it all.

Check it out though.
Jul 18, 2007 derek rated it liked it
sort of like "wild at heart" in subject matter, but he seems to take the aspect of men being "bold and offensive" a little too far. He seems to care more about not being pushed around than he does being like Christ. Still good for any Christian man to read.
Dec 11, 2012 Dan rated it it was ok
Shelves: spirituality
This book has a great premise and starts out well. But then it gets very repetitive (like most books of this variety), and then it goes into the mantra about how what the Church needs is macho men. It makes the mistake of buying into Western masculine ideals and presenting them as biblical truths, proof-texting along the way.
Jan 15, 2013 Tripleguess rated it really liked it
A sorely needed message. I appreciate the author having the courage to write this. I'm sure it is not popular in some circles -- certainly not some of the ones I have tried to frequent in the past. And it's oh so true that moving from "nice" to "good" will make you enemies -- regardless, I might add, of your gender!
JR Snow
Jul 06, 2015 JR Snow rated it it was ok
Review forthcoming.
Donald McKinnon
Sep 19, 2011 Donald McKinnon rated it it was amazing
If you've read or are preparing to read Why Men Hate Going to Church, this is a perfect companion to it, its sure to make any pastor or men's ministry leader to rethink how the Church reaches out to men.
May 20, 2009 Matt rated it liked it
This one was just alright for me. I am not upset I read it, but I think it could have been done in a chapter or two. It did speak to me and my personality quite a bit.
Sep 29, 2014 Colt rated it liked it
interesting book, chapters were a bit long and some things redundant but overall a solid book! One of my get outside the box of religious performance books.
May 24, 2010 Randy rated it it was amazing
Just a very good analysis of how being "nice" can and does hold significant consequences for men in their faith lives.
Ron Mackey
This book grew on me as I got into it. Though I think he is stating the obvious, this stuff needs to be said more often.
Apr 04, 2013 Patrick marked it as to-read
Rather infuriating and insightful. So far I feel like opening a can of whoop ass. I don't really know on what though. Hmmm . . .
Ray Evangelista
May 16, 2012 Ray Evangelista rated it it was amazing
what could I say more?
Empowering and truly delineating the difference between being a nice guy and a good man
Aug 13, 2011 Paul rated it it was amazing
Great read and great challenge. See my full review here:
Jamie Brown
Uh... It may be fitting depending on where you are in life. It wasn't a waste of time.
Aug 28, 2008 Abe rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Men who try to please everyone
Recommended to Abe by: Charlene Patterson
Shelves: at-home
You've got to stand up for what you believe
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