The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun)

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The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun)

by Sheila Wray Gregoire (Goodreads Author)

4.43 of 5 stars 4.43 · rating details · 68 ratings · 24 reviews

Do bad girls really have more fun? Surveys say no. The women who are most likely to enjoy sex are married and religious. In other words, they're Good Girls! But good girls know that making sex great isn't about acting trashy. It's about recognizing what God really designed sex for, and then learning how to reap all these benefits and joyfully enjoy your husband. Frank and...more

Paperback, 265 pages

Published March 2012 by Zondervan (first published 2012)

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Aug 15, 2012 Lori Lynn rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: christian-living, relationships, favorites

My husband bought this book for me right before we got married (5/19/2012). I read this on our honeymoon and loved it. Before we got married I read The Act of Marriage and really enjoyed it but did find some parts a little outdated (mind you, I read the 1970's edition). I really really really love this book!!!! I don't 100% agree with everything in it, but overall I do. I would recommend this to any woman soon to be married, already married, or even just a woman who is mature enough to properly...more

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Jan 26, 2013 Lisa Marie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2013

"Getting the physical side of marriage right may take some work, but it's a fun kind of work. And with the right attitude, we women can become the happiest wives who are married to the most satisfied husbands. That's what God wants for us, and that's what He'll help you do once you start getting excited about it. So jump in!"

Although the title might make you think this book is about ways to have great sex, in reality, this book is a no-holds-barred, frank, open, and honest look at the Christian...more "Getting the physical side of marriage right may take some work, but it's a fun kind of work. And with the right attitude, we women can become the happiest wives who are married to the most satisfied husbands. That's what God wants for us, and that's what He'll help you do once you start getting excited about it. So jump in!"

Although the title might make you think this book is about ways to have great sex, in reality, this book is a no-holds-barred, frank, open, and honest look at the Christian marriage bed - from the basics that should be known on your marriage night, to developing a friendship and spiritual relationship with your spouse, to troubleshooting problems that are surprisingly common in sex.

Sheila approaches the whole book with a sense of humour and relating her personal experiences through challenges and learning. Although she is tactful, she's very clear at each step of the way.

Having surveyed over 1000 Christian married women while researching for this book, she learned a lot about the struggles that couples face in the bedroom and let's us hear their voices throughout the book as examples. For me, this was refreshing, because it often feels like any problems I have are my own and that there's no hope for me. But, it turns out I'm not alone - that my issues are actually quite common but rarely talked about.

I appreciated the fact that Sheila shared both a look at women's challenges AND men's challenges (from a wife point of view and how to help). I also like that she handles bigger issues like pornography addiction, and answers the top questions that readers ask about what is appropriate and what's not in a Christian marriage sex life.

Admittedly, this book made me a tad uncomfortable - probably because it deals with such personal issues. However, it did allow me to question my own issues and think about why they are even issues at all. It gave me ideas on how to make my marriage a priority and the benefits of having an active sex life with my spouse.

All in all, this book is a great help for married couples - even those with a great sex life. I think it would be a terrific wedding present for a newlywed friend as well as a fantastic resource for any married woman.

Thank you, Sheila, for being so willing to be blunt, open, and tackle a subject that far too often is considered taboo in Christian circles. (less)

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May 05, 2012 Iola rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, kindle, netgalley, non-fiction

In 1993, when I got engaged, a friend gave me a copy of the 1973 edition of The Act of Marriage, a Christian classic of its kind. It was hopelessly outdated even then, so I was intrigued when I came across this title, A Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, to see if it was any more relevant.

It is.

The author is very open about the ups and downs of her own relationship, and these stories are enhanced by quotes from some of the hundreds of women (and men) she surveyed as part of her research. Her studi...more In 1993, when I got engaged, a friend gave me a copy of the 1973 edition of The Act of Marriage, a Christian classic of its kind. It was hopelessly outdated even then, so I was intrigued when I came across this title, A Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, to see if it was any more relevant.

It is.

The author is very open about the ups and downs of her own relationship, and these stories are enhanced by quotes from some of the hundreds of women (and men) she surveyed as part of her research. Her studies refute the common secular wisdom that practice with as many people as possible makes perfect. Her research showed that those who were least sexually active before marriage had the greatest satisfaction with their love lives.

Despite the title, A Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex is not all about positions and moves (after all, the biology hasn’t changed). It is more about sex as a vital component of the marriage relationship. She emphasises the importance of our relationship with our spouse, spending time together and sharing hobbies. She also says “The key to a passionate marriage is not to be as sexually adventurous as possible, but to be as passionate about God as possible”.

What makes this book different, at least for me, is that it is real. The area where this struck me most forcibly was in the discussion around pornography. This wasn’t even mentioned in The Act of Marriage (which seemed to assume that the wedding night was the first time a good Christian boy would ever see a naked woman). But a changing world and the omnipresence of the internet means that this is now a real issue in many marriages.

If A Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex was lacking in any area, it was in the struggle to maintain a healthy marriage when the children are young (although she has addressed this in her earlier books). I was also a little confused by how she could recommend sexual role-play games when she had spoken so strongly against the fantasy element of pornography (the difference between a fantasy and a role-play is too subtle for me). Otherwise, I think this is an excellent resource for engaged or newly-married couples, and for those who have (ahem) been married for a little longer.

Thanks to Zondervan and NetGalley for providing a free ebook for review.
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Mar 07, 2012 Maxie rated it 5 of 5 stars

The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Wray Gregoire

What an informative and spiritually grounded book. The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex written by Ms.Gregoire puts to rest many misconceptions many “Good Girls” have about having great sex and that only Bad Girls have wonderful mind-blowing sex lives. Ms.Gregoire information is researched based and backed up with Scripture. I found many of Ms. Gregoire statements to be true as I sat back and analyzed all of the information I heard and disc...more The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Wray Gregoire

What an informative and spiritually grounded book. The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex written by Ms.Gregoire puts to rest many misconceptions many “Good Girls” have about having great sex and that only Bad Girls have wonderful mind-blowing sex lives. Ms.Gregoire information is researched based and backed up with Scripture. I found many of Ms. Gregoire statements to be true as I sat back and analyzed all of the information I heard and discussed with my friends and family members.
Ms. Gregoire cites and confirms facts about what great sex really is and it truly is meant to be God's precious gift to be enjoyed between married couples. God wants us to have awesome sex and experience the pleasures, sensuous fun and thrills of being completely fulfilled. However, this fulfillment, joy and passion is designed and available for the Good Girls who are having intimate relations with their husbands. Being completely submissive to one another as husband and wife comes from trusting and understanding each other is a vital key some of us are missing. Our bodies are temples and when treated as such Good Girls will experience the ultimate satisfaction and passion often fantasized about having. Ms Gregoire shares that there really is not a missing link between fantasy and realism. The quote if you can conceive it you can achieve it applies to the intimate acts of oneness designed for intimate relations.

If mothers, aunts, grandmothers, older sisters clearly understood the real message about the sharing of our body with another person most of the misconceptions about sexuality would be demystified and girls will grow to be whole women and not deceived by the media hype and the Bad Girls stories. Perhaps if the sexual act was not portrayed as something sinful and dirty but a magnificent gift women would not have an abundance of baggage in their beds. Educating our young ladies about their bodies as (temples) to be loved and respected they would not be ashamed of their body and its functionality. The hyped Bad Girl images would slowly diminish making room for Good Girls to become comfortable with their bodies and the blessed, sweet, compassionate intimacies would flourish.

I recall being told as a teenager that Good Girls don't have sex until they are married and adhering to that belief was very important to me, and my perceptions of myself then as well as who I am today. Through reading The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex many misconceptions about sexual activities a were Bible dispelled by Ms Gregoire clarifications from a Christian point of view. She describes in detail how to have GREAT SEX.

Unfortunately, the churches of the past and present have misguided both men and women about getting knowing their bodies and the functions resulted misinformation. And boring sex lives.
Ms. Gregoire does an extraordinary job of sharing the wonders and joy of sexual pleasure between two people totally committed within the bond of marriage. She explains how to give pleasure and how to receive it. Making love and totally letting with each other is a holy, glorious act to be celebrated. In my opinion as a church-going woman I believe The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex should be a part of every mother's/ female guardian's library and discussed in it entirety periodically before girls enter into the dating realm.

Before finishing The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex, I discussed my discoveries and the clarifications provided by Ms. Gregoire's research with family and friends. Ms. Gregoire explains how the false information I and other younger women received caused many inhibitions. Ms. Gregoire really opens up the minds of women and their roles in the bedroom with their husbands. Her writing style is crystal clear, easy to read and comprehend. It reads as if you and Ms. Gregoire are sitting in your kitchen talking over coffee and a slice of apple pie.

I will purchase copies as Mother's Day and graduation gifts. The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex is well written with awesome information that is researched and Bible based making it a terrific read. (less)

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Mar 05, 2012 Laura rated it 5 of 5 stars

You would think that after 30 years of marriage I would not be shocked about sex. You would think I would "know enough" or "know it all". I mean, how many ways can you do it anyway? Forget I said that, because Sheila Wray Gregoire the author of The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex will not only tell you the many ways, she will tell them in very descriptive detail. I am over 50 years old and I was blushing as I read this book! However, at the same time I was laughing my head off at her humorous way...more

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Feb 23, 2012 Yvonne rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, christian-and-inspirational, arcs-and-netgallery, relationships

Okay, at first, I was really scandalized that Zondervan, the Christian book and Bible publisher, was releasing a book like this. But, after the shock was gone, I was curious how they'd pull this off. Was it really a guide or more of an improve your relationship/advice book?

Turns out, it's a little bit of both and it's tastefully done. Part of it is a guide for soon-to-be-married or newly-wed, inexperienced Christian gals. Part of it focuses on relationship and physical issues that may arise year...more

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May 27, 2013 Olga rated it 5 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed reading this book, although generally speaking it is a bit embarrassing to be admitting to have read a book on this subject, it is MORE important to carry on the message that this book s NOT an instruction to sex itself rather what God meant for sex to be, the connections between physical, emotional and spiritual state with your husband. Granted not everyone will agree with everything, and every marriage is different, but the main point of this is vitally important! I think that...more

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Feb 03, 2012 Bill Tillman rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Christians

Recommended to Bill by: Zondervan

Shelves: book-for-review, christian, christian-non-fiction, culture, ebook, kindle, non-fiction, biology, christian-romance, netgalley, poetry, read-several-times, reference, romance

Over the years I have seen many marriage books, yet Good Girls Guide to Great Sex stands alone. The insights from Gregoire are life altering, carefully researched and verified. From those who are about to be engaged to married life in your 70's this book has some precious to impart. I especially like the division of body, mind and spirit through the lens of a believer. It starts out slow laying fundamental groundwork by exploring the Christian mindset toward sex and builds from there.

Nothing is...more

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Mar 05, 2012 Mrsinserra rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: ebooks

I decided to read the ARC of The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex to see if it would be a good reference for when my husband, an Episcopal Priest, and I to use for part of our premarital counseling. Most of the book, I would say, is very useful. The section describing what sex is in detail for women or men who were virgins when they were marrying was really good. It answered a lot of questions that one might have, in a spiritual way, as well as a physical way. I enjoyed reading about how men feel a...more I decided to read the ARC of The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex to see if it would be a good reference for when my husband, an Episcopal Priest, and I to use for part of our premarital counseling. Most of the book, I would say, is very useful. The section describing what sex is in detail for women or men who were virgins when they were marrying was really good. It answered a lot of questions that one might have, in a spiritual way, as well as a physical way. I enjoyed reading about how men feel about sex and how women feel about sex, without the whole guilt trip that we (women) must just do it no matter what, that sex is not important to us at all.

There was a definite emphasis on the importance of sex in a marriage- this is the biggest part- sex is to be between a married man and woman- no exceptions. If you have had premarital sex, it is not the end of the world, but if you are not married, you should stop until after you are married, even if it is only a few months away.

There was also a definite emphasis on sex being between you two- no porn. The author states that neither of you should be imagining other people while having sex with each other, that will hurt a marriage in the long run. She also states that masturbation and the use of sex toys will hurt a marriage, with, I think, one exception talked about in the book. The author talks about how much porn can hurt a marriage and that there are many men and women who use porn, often without the spouse’s knowledge. There was an entire chapter on it, and it was a frequent topic throughout the entire second half of the book, coming up at random point from where it was first mentioned through the very last chapter.

The only part of the book that weirded both my husband and I out a bit, was the section entitled A Pure, Holy, and Hot Marriage. It talked about bringing God into your marriage bed. Now don’t get me wrong, we have a very loving God filled marriage, but the thought of praying before we have sex, like not bedtimes prayers and then you kinda have sex- no, intentional prayers to God before you have sex, or reading scripture before or after sex to bring God into your marriage bed. I asked my husband how he felt about that and he thought it was a bit weird too. Now some of this had to do with healing as a couple from different things, like abuse, or porn addiction, and asking God to help you both regain, or gain a healthy sex life. That part I understand, but for couples that don’t have those problems, it did seem kind of strange.

Overall, I would use this book as a reference for couples getting married, to read BEFORE they get married, it will make you think, but will also help you, whether you are a virgin, or not. There are parts in here to help those that might feel guilt over not being virginal on their marriage night, and how to work through that. This book is conservative, it does not promote same sex relations- period! This book does not promote sex before marriage; it actually gives positive research data to emphasize staying a virgin until you are married. It is also a good read for those of us married for some time on how to keep your sexual life spicy and fun, in a clean, non perverted way. It also has what the author calls “A Good Girl Speaks,” where different women interviewed give a bit of advice or life experience and how long they are married. My favorite sections were the “Good Girl Dares,” where the author gives some little dares for women to give themselves to spice up their sex life with their husband. Some were better than others, none are super dirty either. The section on why sex should be saved until you are married is a section I would allow my daughter to read, it might give her more of a shove in the right direction than my husband or I telling her that she shouldn’t, for a variety of reasons.

This was a good book with some pretty great advice. I did not get paid to write this review, I do so in order for you to have a better idea about what this book is like, from a readers standpoint and in this case, a Priest’s Wife’s standpoint.
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Jun 03, 2013 Debra Ham rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: those with an open mind

Shelves: christian-living-practical-life, personal, audiobook

Listened to the audiobook. I enjoyed the author's honest, tasteful & candid approach. The book is biblically based, yet the Gregoire offered a real perspective regarding sex and marriage, things that are sometimes not spoken of in/by churches. I also like that she gave practical tips. My husband listened to parts of the book with me & gave "Yay/nay" affirmation to the tips. Although I've been married for 9+ yrs, I think that I still learned some new things not necessarily about sex, but...more

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Mar 11, 2012 D.M. Self rated it 5 of 5 stars

Scandalized by the title?
Wondering if this is a book about positions?
You shouldn't be scandalized, and Gregoire does a wonderful job showing how sex within marriage is designed by God to be "fun" and to be a physical representation of our relationship with Him.
In marriage, the man and the woman do become one and sex is an extension of that intimacy. Sex is not a "dirty" word, and it is not a "dirty" act.
Thorough research and countless interviews helps support this statement.
And yes, she will tak...more

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Apr 21, 2013 Julie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Just going by the title, I did not expect this to be a Christian book. It was a pleasant surprise. And there were some good tips in there on how to make sex exciting and fun, etc. But the fact that I have to give my husband sex whenever he wants it, got me a little irritated. I know sex is important to a marraige, but 3-4 times a week? I'm not sure that is entrirely realistic. I think the part I also had trouble with is that whenever he wants it, I'm just supposed to be his little toy? But I hav...more

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Feb 15, 2013 Ellen rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

I thought this was a well written book about married sex. It talked about how sex is more than just physical and is really about your whole relationship. I really liked how she talked about how men and women have a different approach and that it's ok and good that we see sex differently and how important it is to understand the other person's point of view. And it was funny to boot.

There was a part comparing our relationship with our husband to our relationship with God and that part didn't sit...more

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Aug 31, 2012 Amanda rated it 5 of 5 stars

Am I embarrassed to be rating a sex book? Why, yes, I am. But this is the best Christian guide to sexuality and intimacy I've ever read - and I thought I'd given up on the trite "just give it to him" Christian sex genre. She covers everything from building your friendship to the nitty-gritty mechanics and focuses on intimacy, sexual and otherwise. Really well done. My only complaint is the "good girl" schtick, which is annoying. But substitute "Christine wife" and you'll feel better. I did, anyh...more

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Mar 03, 2012 Kate rated it 5 of 5 stars

Amazing book on marriage and sex and all that goes along with them! Sheila is passionate about marriage and passionate that God has a very good plan for sex within marriage! Whether you are engaged or married, this is a book you should read! If you struggle with sex in any way, read this book! God's design for sex is beautiful and a mystery at times, but it is worth learning more and drawing near to your husband! This is a must read for all wives!!

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Jul 26, 2012 Resa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: just-for-fun

An excellent book, kind of like meeting with a therapist to hash out a lot of the "whys"...physical to emotional to spiritual...surrounding sex as a married, Christian woman. Would be an excellent gift for an engaged woman as there are some things discussed that the rest of us perhaps take years to figure out.

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May 17, 2013 Melissa rated it 5 of 5 stars

Even though I don't 100% love everything about this book, it deserved five stars. Sheila Wray Gregoire made it plan, simple and straightforward. She tells us women what we need to hear and makes us take responsibility for our marriage. She explains things like birth control, anatomy and premarital relations - whether intended or from abuse. I give her two thumbs up for saying what needed to be said but hasn't been said. Even though we have an awesome marriage, I saw things that I can improve on...more

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May 05, 2012 Rachael rated it 5 of 5 stars

http://youngernews.blogspot.com/2012/...

That's my review!

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Feb 20, 2013 Erin rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: religion

Great book. I love Sheila's thoughts on marriage. It's not heard enough in churches today the importance of a healthy sex life. It's always avoided. A lot of the statistics were very surprising! Great read!!

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Apr 07, 2012 Leanne rated it 5 of 5 stars

Great book for soon to be marrieds, newlyweds, and even those married for a while.

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Mar 20, 2012 Katherine rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: christian-nonfiction

Excellent. Very practical. I like that Sheila addresses all aspects of sex: emotional, physical and spiritual.

I really recommend it for nearly-weds, newly-weds, and forever-weds :)

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Aug 29, 2012 GONZA rated it 3 of 5 stars

A good book on sex from the christian point of view, which is not something that happens easily, at last not in Italy...

THANKS TO NETGALLEY AND ZONDERVAN FOR THE PREVIEW

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Mar 05, 2013 Winter rated it 5 of 5 stars

For the moment, I need to compose my thoughts, but I thoroughly enjoyed this book and it helped greatly.

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Jan 23, 2013 Roger villegas rated it 4 of 5 stars

Great book for all

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Jun 17, 2013 Danielle is currently reading it

Shelves: christian_reads, health, marriage, selfimprovement

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Jun 02, 2013 Tanviralam rated it 5 of 5 stars

Jun 01, 2013 Zinnada Hodges is currently reading it

Shelves: counseloring-women-s-ministry, marriage-resources, personal

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About Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire is a syndicated parenting columnist and a popular speaker. The author of six books, including The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex, with more on the way, she loves encouraging women to forget about the dust bunnies under their beds and keep their focus on Jesus! She also has a passion for family, and together with her husband Keith speaks at Family Life marriage conferences arou...more

More about Sheila Wray Gregoire...

Books by Sheila Wray Gregoire

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“Sex is not about genitalia. It’s about relationship. When God said ‘the two shall become one flesh,’ he didn’t mean it only physically.” — 3 people liked it

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The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun)

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