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Bedtime Stories for Children You Hate
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Bedtime Stories for Children You Hate

3.31  ·  Rating Details  ·  629 Ratings  ·  83 Reviews
Hate cute stories? Hate happy endings? Hate children? Not quite right in the head? If so, this deliciously twisted storybook is dedicated just to you.

Includes "Your Upstairs Neighbor Kills People" and "Blood in the Sink". You know you want this book. It can be our secret.

**NOT INTENDED FOR CHILDREN**
Kindle Edition, 56 pages
Published (first published June 7th 2011)
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 929)
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Jason Koivu
Dec 13, 2015 Jason Koivu rated it liked it
Shelves: fiction
I admit it, I bought this because of the title. I love everything about it!

But the stories do not deliver, at least not all of them, on the level of hatred I have for children. I rue the day children were born!

This is not bad for Bergin's first book. There are some funny stories here, even a creepy moment or two. Some formatting issues on the Kindle version, but nothing that couldn't be overlooked, especially since the spelling and grammar were fairly solid. In the end I suppose I wouldn't say n
...more
Shari
Aug 18, 2012 Shari rated it really liked it
Shelves: chucklers
Maybe I'm a bad person, but I really liked this book. It's hilarious!
Now, don't get your mom jeans all in a bunch. No children will be harmed if you read this book. Unless your kids catch you reading it and then assume they are they children you hate. I wouldn't suggest letting that happen. Therapy is expensive.
Victoria
Mar 10, 2012 Victoria rated it it was ok
Shelves: fairytale
A few of the stories in this book were really amusing, particularly the ones that featured the nanny getting back at the children. Many other stories were just not that funny. The author should have stuck with stories that seemed almost semi-autobiographical about her nanny experiences. The Kindle edition also suffers from many formatting errors and several places where commas should be but just aren't.
Vicky Marie
Jan 08, 2014 Vicky Marie rated it it was ok
Some of these stories made me chuckle, but that's it. It's called bedtime stories, but it felt more like random tales from an overly-bitter nanny. Not much to say other than 'meh.' It was 99 cents, so I don't know what I was expecting.
Peggy
Oct 23, 2014 Peggy rated it liked it
Shelves: adultfiction
I like short stories and there were a couple good ones here. I particularly like the last one about the children who didn't think they needed the babysitter. It's a small collection and it only cost 99 cents so overall a very good purchase. It's also the first book I ever read on my phone. I wonder what a young me would have thought if someone would have told me that one day I would read a book on my phone. Weird.
Michael
Jan 01, 2012 Michael rated it liked it
Shelves: humour, 2011, childrens
While it was amusing to read these stories and imagine reading them to some kids. The book wasn't really well written and doesn't hold much apart from a small novelty factor
Justin Miller
Jul 05, 2015 Justin Miller rated it it was amazing
This is one of those books you read and go, "WTF did I just read?" However, you laugh throughout it and can't wait to tell others. It's ten short stories that, as the name of the book implies, aren't exactly safe for kids. They are however, some of the funniest things I've ever read. Most of them will throw you for a loop when you get to the end of the story and find out what happened, but there was one in which I knew what was happening from the start of it. This was a great find on Kindle Book ...more
Ashley Moore
Aug 07, 2015 Ashley Moore rated it really liked it
I think "unique" is the best word to describe this book. I love the concept behind it, and Antoinette Bergin has a sharp wit. These stories were funny, outrageous, ridiculous, and disturbing. Also, if you like a quick read, it's VERY short. The writing may be a little too simplistic for some readers, but it fits the "bedtime stories meant for children" theme. It's written as though these stories would be read to a child (have mercy), so this definitely isn't a literary masterpiece. All-in-all, i ...more
Eric Townsend
Aug 12, 2013 Eric Townsend rated it really liked it
As this is a collection of short stories I figured I’d pick 3 like I normally do, this time my top 3 since I’m in a pretty happy mood. ^.^ So without further ado, my top 3 stories from Bedtime Stories For Children You Hate (in reverse order):

3. Your Upstairs Neighbor Kills People: A fun, creepy story that conveys a bunch of different potential messages that kids could learn from. Trust your friend when they say they’ve got a creepy dude upstairs that kills people, always a good rule to follow. I
...more
Gina
ummmm. I'm not sure how I feel about this book. I bought it because of the title and the parts I read online were hilarious. I definitely did not enjoy the second story, "Will Fluffy Live Forever?" The other stories were a mix of feelings. While I enjoyed them I don't think I'd read most of them again. There were a couple that felt a bit underdeveloped, but that just left more room for the imagination. There were a few stories I truly enjoyed but overall I'm giving this a 3/5 rating.
Mel
Dec 30, 2013 Mel rated it did not like it
Edit: Love it or hate it when it comes to my reviews. It's my opinion and I'm sticking with it. Have a nice day! :)

If I knew this was a self published book, I'd have never bought it first of all. Every self published book I've ever gotten was terrible and this is no exception. Some were interesting and the rest was just WTF. I can't tell if these are actual stories and the author means what she writes in her intro or if it's just an act. Very disappointed and was expecting something better writt
...more
Angel
Dec 29, 2014 Angel rated it it was ok
What...the...? Ok I literally read this 'book' in an hour (56 pages on Kindle) Some stories I couldn't help laughing at and others I was just kind of confused. Well, maybe not kind of. Maybe more then kind of. I guess there are worse things I could have done for an hour...*shrug*
Jonah Levine
May 31, 2015 Jonah Levine rated it really liked it
A really hilarious book by a seemingly very bitter former nanny. The stories each take on a pedantic and sassy feel, and each comes with an unsuspecting twist at the end. For all you cynical readers out there, these are the bedtime stories for you. I only wish there were more!
Stephanie
Jan 07, 2015 Stephanie rated it liked it
Shelves: fun
This was a fun way to kill 20mins. Some of the stories were on point and hilarious but others just kind of left you wondering what the point was and was there more coming that had somehow been deleted.
Still, you'll definitely get a smile or two out of it.
Amanda
Jan 03, 2015 Amanda rated it really liked it
Fun and funny

Definitely not for children, but perfect for the young at heart. Quick to read, short stories with a bite. I enjoyed them. I read a few aloud to my husband and he seemed to find them funny as well.
Rosie
Dec 31, 2012 Rosie rated it did not like it
I didn't enjoy this one at all, didn't find it funny. The book reads as a collection of violent rants about the job, punctuated by declarations of more generalized rage. It seemed to me more like an attempt at anger management therapy than a book meant to be published and read by the general public. If left up to me, I certainly wouldn't have classified this as humorous - dark or otherwise. I was really disappointed when I got to the end - I'd been hoping that the author's note in the beginning ...more
Tom
Sep 05, 2014 Tom rated it liked it
Well, it's pretty much exactly what it says in the title. I wouldn't say they were laugh-out-loud funny, but I was mildly amused and only paid 99 cents for it.
Scott
Aug 07, 2014 Scott rated it really liked it
This is a decent first effort. I love the title and the concept. The execution may have been a little rough, but that will improve over time. I'll be interested to see how Ms. Bergin's work progresses in the future.
Lisa
Jul 11, 2014 Lisa rated it it was ok
One or two were fun, but mostly they just seemed mean. So totally fit what the title was. Didn't quite fit the author's intro. Meh?
Rich Meyer
Jul 30, 2014 Rich Meyer rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-in-2014
Very short and very funny! This one lives up to the title -nothing too untoward but much strangeness and snickering. Recommended!
Noura
Feb 24, 2016 Noura rated it did not like it
everything about this escalated quickly. also the potential it had made the final product quite underwhelming.
Chelsea
Dec 14, 2014 Chelsea rated it liked it
The writing isn't fantastic, but they're entertaining stories for your more misanthropic days.
Jessica
Feb 21, 2014 Jessica rated it it was ok
Shelves: quick-read, meh, comedy
Amusing, and a quick read- but not extremely clever or original.
Eric Hartman
May 31, 2014 Eric Hartman rated it it was amazing
I may have to add this to my list of Christmas gifts...
Josie
Mar 07, 2016 Josie rated it it was ok
I hate children more than this book would allow.
Jennifer
This was silly and fun and funny.
Mary Campbell
Jan 20, 2015 Mary Campbell rated it really liked it
I found the stories humourous.
Paige
Mar 18, 2014 Paige rated it did not like it
By far, the strangest book I have ever, ever read.
Janine
Jun 17, 2014 Janine rated it really liked it
I found this book funny!
cristina g. dowdle
Interesting.
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