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Twilight (Twilight #1)

3.58 of 5 stars 3.58 · rating details · 1,695,509 ratings · 80,196 reviews

I'D NEVER GIVEN MUCH THOUGHT TO HOW I WOULD DIE - though I'd had reason enough in the last few months - but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.... Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something.

When Isabella Swan moves to the gloomy town of Forks and meets the mysterious, all...more

Paperback, 544 pages

Published (first published January 1st 2005)

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Jan 09, 2013 Clare Moss rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: read-in-2008, never-ever-again

I hate this book. I will probably end up reading the rest of them, because if I don't, people that love this thing wilI think they can convert me if I just keep reading. (ETA (Jan. 2013): Never even remotely bothered to finish the series.)

In short: the writing mechanics are atrocious. The dialogue is stilted and absolutely wretched. The characterization is bad-- loose, jumpy, and the progression is occasionally senseless. The main characters themselves are not compelling: selfish, shallow, lacki...more I hate this book. I will probably end up reading the rest of them, because if I don't, people that love this thing wilI think they can convert me if I just keep reading. (ETA (Jan. 2013): Never even remotely bothered to finish the series.)

In short: the writing mechanics are atrocious. The dialogue is stilted and absolutely wretched. The characterization is bad-- loose, jumpy, and the progression is occasionally senseless. The main characters themselves are not compelling: selfish, shallow, lacking the deep thought that comes with true passion and love and instead leaping recklessly into stupid and deadly situations when anyone with a brain could see sixty other possibilities that should have been tried first.

I can't express my disgust for the relationship between Edward and Bella. It's not romance, it's not passion, it's not love. It's selfish idiocy at best. Bella as a character is insufferable: her self-sacrificing streak is not compassion, it's sheer stupidity. It's hormones. It's a bad, bad example for the teenage girls who read it. Bella's whole life is tied up in her boyfriend. She has no goals, passions, ambitions, or dreams besides wanting to be with Edward, who could kill her.

Edward's element of danger is occasionally compelling, but it's totally overshadowed by the fact that Bella is completely oblivious to it. She doesn't fear him at all, and that doesn't come off like love: once again, it comes off as total stupidity.

Edward. What can I say about Edward. There is nothing lovable about him except that he is apparently the most beautiful thing in existence. He's selfish: he stays near Bella when he knows he could lose control and kill her at any second. He's a creepy stalker: he watches her while she sleeps, before she even really knows him. He's volatile: his mood swings are insane and ridiculous. He's immature: for someone who's been alive for a hundred years, he doesn't seem to have gained much experience. He's controlling: he doesn't want to let her out of his sight for two seconds. (Granted, she's dumb enough to get herself killed if he does.) He's insulting: he treats Bella like an incapable, silly little girl. (Which he's right to, but I digress. It's still insulting.)

I understand that Bella's smell and that Bella herself are irresistible to him. But if he wanted the best for her, he'd stay away from her, period, the end. The story is stupid, the love story is bad, and if that's what Stephenie Meyer is preaching to teenage girls, I think it's pretty questionable. It's not just "a fun read". There are girls out there who want to be Bella and who want to find an Edward.

Anyway.

I think I might enjoy the story a lot more if Bella's idiot head was not the one I had to spend time in while reading it. If I had to read one more description of how beautiful Edward is, I was going to choke a kitten. If it had focused more on the vampire family I would have been a lot more willing to forgive its faults. I thought Carlisle's and Alice's stories were really compelling, and Edward was finally accessible to me when he talked about Carlisle turning him into a vampire and how his family came to be formed, his life before Bella, etc. Some aspects of the vampirism were truly awesome: I found the idea that vampires can never sleep completely terrifying. That they never, ever get a break and never, ever get to rest... that is a wonderful and ghastly idea.

Entirely overshadowed by their flowery breath and the fact that they sparkle. Mothereffing ridiculous.

This is hardly the tip of the iceberg, but I'm trying to spare you at least a little.(less)

1169 likes · like · see review

Sep 03, 2011 Sarah rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: no one, not even my worst enemy

Shelves: vampire-supernatural, romance, teen-young-adult, 2008

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Okay, I have to say that I picked this book up partly due to all the hype (and partly because it's involved two of my favorite genres)... I mean, so many people had recommended it to me and I finally got sick of hearing about it, so I picked it up and read it... or as least tried to.

Let me first say that I am a huge romance and vampire/supernatural fan, so when I first heard about the book I was really excited to read it because it combined two of my favorite genres.

But, I really regret ever buy...more

1970 likes · like · see review

Feb 08, 2012 Chris rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I actually had to give this book three separate reviews by three sides of my personality. My three-star rating is the median of the three:

Review 1, by My Inner Fifteen Year Old Girl (5 stars):
Bella is smart, funny, well-read, pretty and yet misunderstood by most of her peers (just like me). Then she meets a cool, hot guy who turns out to be a good vampire, and he can do really cool things, like run fast and stop cars with his hands, but he's still sweet and wonderful. It's ultimate wish-fulfillm...more I actually had to give this book three separate reviews by three sides of my personality. My three-star rating is the median of the three:

Review 1, by My Inner Fifteen Year Old Girl (5 stars):
Bella is smart, funny, well-read, pretty and yet misunderstood by most of her peers (just like me). Then she meets a cool, hot guy who turns out to be a good vampire, and he can do really cool things, like run fast and stop cars with his hands, but he's still sweet and wonderful. It's ultimate wish-fulfillment fantasy -- what's not to like? Meyers can make your heart speed up with some of the tense, tortured "we must be together/no, what if i hurt you" pg-13 erotica.

Review 2, by My Fan of YA Lit (3 Stars):
Meyers can tell a pretty good story, when she lets herself actually tell it -- the book starts out well, and would have been a bit more interesting if I hadn't known he was a vampire all along. Then it slows down during the long "getting to know you" dialogue exchanges between Edward and Bella -- there's no plot, just back-story and exposition disguised as conversations, and far too many "I can't be with you, I don't want to hurt you!" "But I love you, I don't care about danger!" back-and-forths. When the evil vamps show up, however, the story kicks back in and the end is quite exciting. When Meyers isn't dwelling on how perfectly angelic Edward is (again!) she can get the pages turning. Since there are A LOT of pages to turn, I wish she would have infused that urgency into the story more often. While abandoning most of the conventional cliches of vampire-lore (stakes, sunlight, garlic, coffins) she keeps all the modern-vamp-romance cliches (alabaster skin, good hair, expensive taste in clothes, tragically distant), and adds a few of her own unfortunate twists (vampires avoid the sun because it makes them sparkle, the good-vamp clan play some extreme version of baseball in a scene that was far too Quidich-y for my taste). Too many cliches or trying to hard to be original -- somehow both criticisms are accurate.

Review 3, by My Inner Feminist (1 Star):
Meyers describes Bella as being strong, brave, and independent, but then shows her as a spineless, cowering victim who needs to be saved by her violently jealous and over-protective boyfriend. She constantly goes on and on about how Edward is perfect at everything and how he's so gorgeous and she is so unworthy of him, how he's so strong and he protects her. In fact, she never gives any reason for liking him other than how hot he is, but that's fair because Edward never gives a reason for liking her other than she smells good. He is frustrated that Bella is the only person whose thoughts he can't read, so he eavesdrops on her friends minds to find out what they talk about, he follows her whenever she leaves her house, and he secretly camps outside her room when she sleeps - that doesn't sound sweet, it sounds creepy. If girls want a romantic, conflicted vampire/human romance, they should go watch the firs three seasons of Buffy -- not only is there the dark, mysterious, conflicted vampire, but the girl he's in love with can kick some serious ass all on her own.(less)

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Ainur Lol this was funny
Jun 04, 2013 05:04pm

Hannah This is kind of totally how I feel. I am re-reading part 1 of the saga, and I recognize that my 16 year old self was fan-girling over this(Edwards ama...more
Jun 10, 2013 02:53pm

Jun 07, 2007 Nicola rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: morons

Shelves: teen, fiction

I really enjoy lively details. There's nothing better than knowing an author has really thought about her characters and situations, and come up with some surprising and delightful detail that makes the whole reading experience fuller. Lively details, you understand -- pointless details are a nightmare to read. I don't need to know that Bella ate a granola bar for breakfast. I REALLY DON'T. (Notice that I remembered the granola bar. I think this is partly because I was fervently hoping it would...more

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Jul 09, 2009 Joe rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: idiots, people who enjoy bad dialogue

Shelves: grad-school-young-adult-lit, young-adult

Save your time: here's the entirety of Twilight in 20 dialogue snippets & a wiggedy-wack intermission.

First 200 pages:
"I like you, Edward!"
"You shouldn't! I'm dangerous!"
"I like you, Edward!"
"But I'm dangerous!"

Next 50 pages:
"I'm a vampire!"
"I like you, Edward!"
"But I'm a vampire! I'm dangerous!"
"I like you, Edward!"

Next 100 pages:
"I like you, Edward!"
"You smell good, Bella. I'm dangerous!"
"I like you, Edward!"
"Damn, you smell good."
"I like you, Edward!"
"Also, I glow in sunlight."

Next 50 pag...more

5410 likes · like · see review

Apr 07, 2009 James rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: modern-fantasy

It turns out we don't need Dr. John Gray to tell us that men are from Transylvania and women are from Venus. We just need to read Stephenie Meyer books. For example, from this book we learn that the millions of women who have wolfed down the Twilight series (pun intended) want men who:

1. Talk about their feelings. Either Meyer's husband is the single-most communicative male on the planet and she doesn't realize how unusual he is, or she, like most of her female readers, is using her fiction to i...more It turns out we don't need Dr. John Gray to tell us that men are from Transylvania and women are from Venus. We just need to read Stephenie Meyer books. For example, from this book we learn that the millions of women who have wolfed down the Twilight series (pun intended) want men who:

1. Talk about their feelings. Either Meyer's husband is the single-most communicative male on the planet and she doesn't realize how unusual he is, or she, like most of her female readers, is using her fiction to imagine a world where men not only have deep emotions but want to admit to having them and talk about them over and over, articulating even the most subtle of their internal dramas.

2. Make them flutter. But just being a sensitive new-age kind of guy doesn't cut it. A man has to be hard-bodied, chiseled, dashing, and have eyes that pierce the soul, if not the skin (even as they never look at your chest). This book suggests that a real man makes you constantly stumble over your words, bite your lip to refrain from exclaiming adulations, and lose yourself in the sweet smell of his breath.

3. Are fiercely devoted. That a girl of no spectacular beauty, who lacks any trace of conversation skills -- whose only virtue is that she smells really yummy -- can inspire an immortal creature of godlike power and grace to alter his entire existence to serve and protect her, watching over her by night (more on that in #4). This is a woman's ultimate fantasy -- to have the perfect man, perfectly devoted, for no good reason at all.

4. Want them so bad that they won't take them. This, alas, is the most transparent aspect of this book's appeal. It speaks volumes about the differences between men and women to have so many women toss their bodice-ripping romances aside in order to read how a feral man with otherworldly physical desires can contain his passion and lust out of his pure and perfect love for his beloved. It says that women really do wish they could have it both ways, to be an object of lust and devotion at once, to fulfill a man's desire without actually slaking his thirst for her. To have a man watch you sleep and not want to have even a little peek under the covers -- now that's hot fantasy for today's woman who is otherwise told on a regular basis that to be her best self she has to enage in casual and risky sexual behavior.

To see just what an indulgent fantasy this book is, just imagine the male-centric version of Twilight, in which a troubled teen boy moves to a small town to find the hottest girl in town is a vampiress. Such a book would be about 100 pages long (all the unnecessary internal dialogue would be removed). No one would talk except to comment on the awesome size of, um, one's videogame library. The vampiress would be simple: relatively dumb, incredibly hot, wearing almost nothing, and with no expectations of her man but drawn to him only by the smell of his gym bag. She wouldn't hold herself back from trying to bite her intended, but would get so distracted with his bedroom technique that she would never get around to it.

We would laugh at such a book (in fact, we know it would never be a book since men don't read; it would be a movie, and it would be a smash summer hit called American Vam-Pie-er, I'll start the screenplay right away). Somehow, when this story is told in a similarly indulgent female-centric vein, we don't reject it, but sympathize with it. I believe this is because women get to indulge in their fantasies so rarely outside of Jane Austen novels while men are surrounded with theirs. So far I have yet see spam email inviting one to "read hot things devoted husbands would say to their wives" or "see pictures of hunks promising not to get nasty out of respect for their women" or "buy this purple pill so you can stay up late and share your feelings -- seven times in one night!." So hats off to Stephenie Meyer for figuring out what it is that women really want and giving it to them.

Finally, a request: Please read my book, Broken Mirror Girl. It is available on Amazon's Kindle (for reading on any device you can think of, including your web browser). If you read it, I'd love to hear your comments on Amazon. I can take it (or I hope I can, after everything I've said about Meyer...).(less)

786 likes · like · see review

Jul 30, 2007 Trin rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: fantasy, american-lit

Let me give you an idea of how much my opinion of this book changed at different stages of reading. When I was about a third of the way through, I was so into it that I immediately put my name on the library reservations list for the sequel, and wishlisted every edition on BookMooch. Now, having finished, I doubt I'll bother to read any further in the series. The opening is really quite interesting: Bella moves from sunny Arizona to rainy, gloomy Washington State to live with her father (her som...more Let me give you an idea of how much my opinion of this book changed at different stages of reading. When I was about a third of the way through, I was so into it that I immediately put my name on the library reservations list for the sequel, and wishlisted every edition on BookMooch. Now, having finished, I doubt I'll bother to read any further in the series. The opening is really quite interesting: Bella moves from sunny Arizona to rainy, gloomy Washington State to live with her father (her somewhat loopy mom wants to follow her new husband while he's on the road as a minor league ballplayer). To her surprise, she gains almost instant popularity at her new high school—with the exception of the beautiful Edward Cullen and his siblings, who either ignore her, or in the case of Edward himself, seem to be repulsed by her. Even though the reader probably knows going in that at least part of what's going on relates to Edward being a vampire (because it says in BIG LETTERS ON THE BACK that Edward is a vampire), it's still fun to speculate about what exactly is going on—why does Edward seem both drawn and repelled by Bella? Why does he save her life? What are a bunch of vampires doing impersonating students at a small town high school, anyway?

Unfortunately, the answers to all these questions seem to be either nonexistent or extremely lame. Edward reacts weirdly to Bella because she 1) smells unusually good, and 2) is the only person he's ever met whose mind he cannot read. No. 1 apparently makes him fall in love with her, while the reasons behind No. 2 are never explained. But, you know, the actual mysterious stuff is apparently not important—instead it's more important that we realize that the Cullens are good vampires, who only eat animals, and who do nice, all-American things like play baseball in the woods. Okay! Also, all the weaknesses you've heard vampires have are just myths. Garlic, stakes, even sunlight—no problemo. Yet Edward would never even consider turning Bella, because that would make her an Evil Thing. Oh, and they also can't have sex, presumably because Meyer once read "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex" (and/or is a Mormon. Sorry).

Instead, what Edward and Bella apparently CAN do is be very emo and teenage about their twu luv (despite Edward actually being over 100 years old), and be threatened by a villain that shows up in the novel's last third just to give it some semblance of an actual plot. Then, once all is well, they go to the prom! SERIOUSLY. THE BOOK ENDS WITH EDWARD TAKING BELLA TO THE PROM. What. The. Fuck.

And still, none of this answers my number one question: if you were a century-old vampire, why the HELL would you spend your time going to high school in Washington State? (Especially when you're not even trying to bang high school girls.) Angel at his most pathetic emo mopiness had more spine.(less)

434 likes · like · see review

May 29, 2011 Stephen rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: ya, fang-bangers, shame-on-you, 2000-2005, paranormally-romantical

Welcome to Part II of the Vampire Compatibility Test (VCT). Before we continue, let's briefly racap Part I of the VCT. Your score in Part I should have given you a good idea of how critically you judge vampire fiction, placing you in either "Group A" or "Group B" based on overall points scored.

Group A:

A fairly harsh to extremely harsh critic that requires in a vampire story that it be: (a) well written or at least highly engaging prose; (b) tightly plotted with a well defined backstory that i...more

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Jul 05, 2010 karen added it · review of another edition

Shelves: death-is-not-the-end, and-so-this-is-grad-school, why-yes-i-ya

spoiler alert: he's a vampire!!!

has anyone heard any press on this book yet?? i think that once the teens hear about it, the author will be quite successful. definite cinematic potential here.
................................................................................

pop - there goes my meyer cherry! and with it my integrity.

this, sadly, isn't one of those twilight reviews that is going to get a zillion votes. it isn't going to be particularly insightful or funny or anything like that. it i...more

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Feb 21, 2012 Steph Sinclair rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Please see end of review for what I recommend

Recommended to Steph by: Myself (I had a moment of insanity)

Shelves: could-have-been-better, i-own-it, vamps, books-i-should-hate-but-i-don-t, 2011-reads, bound-to-inflict-a-migraine, ahhhhh-my-eyes, i-blame-twilight, where-s-my-chocolate, no-just-no, why-why-why-did-i-read-it, serve-me-up-insta-love, all-the-wrong-choices, heroines-i-want-to-shake, kill-me-now, i-used-to-like-this, stop-it-already, le-sigh, lots-of-fail-going-on-here, can-t-believe-i-finished, fell-for-the-hype, 2008-reads, project-read, my-boyfriend-wants-me-dead, youve-got-to-be-kidding-me, rubbish, creepy-lover, young-adult

Actual rating: 1.5 stars. Believe it or not, there are actually a few books that are worse than Twilight.

Ok, funny story. I was sitting on my couch with my husband last night finishing up Twilight. I slammed the book shut and began rubbing my temples. Then, my husband goes, "So you finally finished, huh?" "Yes. I can't believe I used to like this book," I said. "Hahaha! Yeah, I remember you were on Twilight's balls hard." Yeah, yeah, yeah...

There isn't a single book on my shelf that has fluctuat...more

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Dec 10, 2009 brian rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

my name is bella. bella swan. here's what stephenie didn't tell you. it's super-duper-important.

on the morning after it rained, it was rainy outside and i frowned at it being so rainy all the time. i chuckled to myself, darn weather! i stared at the rain outside, which is where they usually keep the rain. there was never any rain in phoenix. i love phoenix. i hate rain.

i tripped over a large air pocket on my bedroom floor and bashed my skull into the corner of my bookcase, which had three shelv...more

1912 likes · like · see review

Oct 13, 2010 Ceridwen rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommended to Ceridwen by: Morwenna

Shelves: america-and-environs, for-teh-ladies, young-adult, fantasy, shit-show, necrophilia

Two things happened in my household, shortly after I started reading it, that seem germane to a discussion of this book. First, I was in the kitchen, dealing with the endless in-and-out of the dishwasher, and I became aware of a small, soft, wet noise coming from the back bathroom. This made my mom-ears perk up, and I went back to find my daughter, who is about 2 ½, tearing off strips of toilet paper, wadding them neatly, throwing them into the toilet, and then flushing. She looked up at me with...more

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Jun 13, 2009 Manny rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: children, trash, science-fiction, mentions-twilight, older-men-younger-women

I got so tired of receiving Twilight questions on the Never-Ending Quiz that I went out and bought a copy. It's about as good as I had expected, but I have already managed to answer a few questions correctly.

An anecdote which I at least found amusing. Shortly after buying it, I was invited to an eighteenth birthday party (our next door neighbor's daughter). I had the following conversation with Cate:

"So I suppose you read the Twilight books?"

"No, what are they?"

"You know, those vampire books. I...more

104 likes · like · see review

May 27, 2008 Shannon (Giraffe Days) rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommended to Shannon (Giraffe Days) by: Kiwiria

Shelves: paranormal, ya, vampires, favourite, 2007, shape-shifters, urban-fantasy, romance, cover-love

Oh my. This book, to me, is like chocolate: a delicious, sinful, addictive indulgence which you convince yourself has beneficial qualities (zinc, calcium, keeps me quiet at that time of the month...) in order to justify your addiction.

By "beneficial qualities", I mean that it's reading, and since when is reading bad? :) Let me say quite clearly that I'm a sucker for romance, especially the intense, passionate, tragic kind. I don't read romance novels*, though, because to me they are lacklustre -...more

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Jun 14, 2008 Hilaire rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: no one, not even my most hated enemy!

Recommended to Hilaire by: the Net

my original critique: http://icantthinkofanythingrightnow.b...

Twilight is stupid and lame-o

I think everyone knows that the characters are essentially the ones who make up the book. It’s through them that the plot is developed, the conflicts are carried, the climax is revealed, stuff like that. And when you’re writing in a first person POV, you have to make that “first person” interesting and observant. Bella, our first person, is about as interesting as a rock.

Isabella is nothing more than a Ma...more

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Jan 24, 2008 Melissa Rudder rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommended to Melissa by: Student

About a month ago, a student let me borrow a book. Well, she actually didn't let me borrow the book. She pretty much thrust it upon me and insisted that I read it.

So I let it sit in my classroom for a month.

Yesterday, she left me a note about reading it. Feeling guilty, I stuffed it into my bag at the end of the day. I had been wanting a fun read anyway. Might as well try this. Even though the plot--girl falls in love with a vampire--didn't interest me much.

I started reading Stephenie Meyer's fi...more About a month ago, a student let me borrow a book. Well, she actually didn't let me borrow the book. She pretty much thrust it upon me and insisted that I read it.

So I let it sit in my classroom for a month.

Yesterday, she left me a note about reading it. Feeling guilty, I stuffed it into my bag at the end of the day. I had been wanting a fun read anyway. Might as well try this. Even though the plot--girl falls in love with a vampire--didn't interest me much.

I started reading Stephenie Meyer's five-hundred page teen-read, Twilight, at about eleven last night. I stayed up ridiculously late reading and my first thoughts this morning were of continuing where I left off. Which leaves me here, in the middle of my Saturday, without any papers graded and with a rather ignored husband, finished with the book and still so interested in it that I have insisted on writing the review now.

The book captured my interest as early as the preface. Though most readers go into the story with much more knowledge than the protagonist, Bella, has (we know that the strange, fantastically attractive boy at school, Edward, is a vampire), Meyers does an excellent job of creating mystery at the onset of the novel. She makes the reader feel overwhelmed with questions so he/she stays around long enough to be enchanted by Meyer's control over language and endearing characters. I admired her exposition as well. She didn't rush it and allowed her reader to learn about Bella and her history as the story unfolded.

Bella was a good protagonist because she is a sort of everygirl. She saw herself in the same way that I think most teenage girls see themselves--as inconsequential and common. Meyer indulges in the Cinderella fantasy and makes common, awkward Bella become, almost excessively, the center of male attention. She's horribly accident-prone, which allowed for Meyer to create plenty of damsel-in-distress moments. Fortunately, she's also independent, intelligent, observant, and heroic in a way that I think most readers could imaging themselves being heroic. So ultimately, she's an empowering character.

I have to say that I'm a huge sucker for the mysterious, seemingly all-powerful male characters--Edmond Dantes, Aragorn, Mr. Rochester, Mr. Darcy, Sydney Carton who is extremely powerful in spite of his very obvious weakness, Sherlock Holmes--so I was right there with Bella, hopelessly entranced by Edward. This carried me through the majority of the book, which leads me to believe that, yes, indeed, it is geared toward girls. Because of this, there were quite a few scenes that I found to be even a bit gratuitous, pandering to the (mostly teenage girl?) audience who wanted to see romance and kissing and "omg he touched me!" moments.

Apparently Twilight is the first book of a series or trilogy. I will definitely be reading the rest, though I have to be careful when I start them, since they seems to take over my life. Honestly, Twilight just came at a good time for me. I needed a book that I could guiltlessly read without a pen in my hand and that would remind me of the power of good storytelling to take me into someone else's world, make me cry, and--I'll admit it--make me sigh.

(less)

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Feb 04, 2013 Haleema rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Oh, just idiots, dimwits, dolts, ogres, trolls, imbeciles, losers, morons, etc...

Shelves: characters-are-half-troll, oh-not-again, thats-not-writing, cheese-pizza, snape-disapproves, books-morphed-into-movies, need-my-nutella, bull-shawarma, its-so-stupid-it-hurts, imagery-gone-bad, stephen-king-was-right, thesaurus-is-its-bff, brain-cells-went-bye-bye, what-a-joke, author-y-u-no-destroyed, my-vomit-is-nicer, must-meet-author, just-begging-for-snark, what-the-falafel, i-knew-it, half-wit-heroine, book-coma, hating-with-all-my-hate, insta-love

Beware of spoilers!

This review is more like a review of all the books.

You know, this is one book that I was aching to write a review on. I don't know now. You know those books that are just so horrible that you want to go on and on about how horrible they were, but you don't want to waste your precious time doing it? I'm in that situation. To review, or not to review? *tick tock tick tock*

Oh, damn it. Fine! Well, it has been quite a long time since I read this book, but the dreadful memory of...more

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Sep 16, 2010 Denys L.H. rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: fluffy-loving idiots

Recommended to Denys L.H. by: an idiot

When you're looking for a novel that has no plot, no common sense, jibber-jabber about pointless love, how hot someone is, and the climax thrown together three-thirds of the book, Twilight takes the cake! I don't even know what made me "unconditionally and irrevocably in love" with it in the first place! But then again, I was a hopeless romantic trying to find love, and I thought Twilight would cheer me up for my lovesick... ness...

Unfortunately, I was WRONG. When I first read the book, I was ad...more When you're looking for a novel that has no plot, no common sense, jibber-jabber about pointless love, how hot someone is, and the climax thrown together three-thirds of the book, Twilight takes the cake! I don't even know what made me "unconditionally and irrevocably in love" with it in the first place! But then again, I was a hopeless romantic trying to find love, and I thought Twilight would cheer me up for my lovesick... ness...

Unfortunately, I was WRONG. When I first read the book, I was addicted to it. I finished reading it for one day because it was "so good." Time passed by, and I was hoping that my tasteless friend would give me the second volume of the series because I wanted more... MORE I TELL YA!

As the time passed by, I realized the book was just stupid-fluff and very sexually frustrating.

First off, we meet with the main character, the female "heroine," Isabella Marie Swan. Or Bella for short. I realized now, she's nothing more than a Mary Sue. Her name is even like one as well! Bella is Italian for beautiful. Throw it with Swan. Beautiful Swan. What's even worse is that EVERY guy falls in love with her when she moves in with her lazy ass daddy who needs Bella to cook and clean for him. Typical anti-feminist, no? Her appearance is somewhat similar to the author, and her story when moving into a new place (see twilight FAQ's in her website). Oh yeah, and she gets the guy to top it all off. Typical Mary Sue.

Edward Cullen... is just too HAWT for this world! He's perfect, he's got perfect hair, perfect body, perfect face... hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he even has a perfect penis! D; Anyways, as the typical teenage fangirl I am, I fell in love with him too... I still am... but not as much. What made me head-over-heels for this guy is that he's charming and witty... but being about 100 years old is such a turn off. Not to mention, stalking Bella almost every night... and she doesn't care when she finds this out! That's just a weird/sick/creepy relationship.

What I don't get is the reason for those two loving each other. Stephanie Meyer makes it destined for them to be together... but exaclty what is the reason again...? Oh yeah! Cause Bella has sweet-smelling blood and Edward's HAWT. Duh. That's why they were made for each other! Except for the whole "no sex" thing... well from what I heard, they're gonna do it later on in some other volume of Twilight. It'll be just like another erotic Anita Blake failure.

Who I really hated second to Bella was Jacob Black. He was too annoying and pestered too much. Maybe he'll get better later on... I heard he and Bella hooked up. I had a feeling Bella was gonna do that anyways.

The almost 500 pages Bella narrates about in Twilight is how HAWT Edward is. She's obsessing way too much and then she declares that she would even risk her life to be with him! Dude, you knew him for like, a week. Now you decide to be emo for him? Two words: Get. Help.

All of a sudden, a group of villianous vampires come out of nowhere and terrorize the Cullens and Bella. The whole five chapters of that was a big blur. Was it even five chapters? I don't know anymore! x.x

Do not read this!!!! This is a warning to all bookworms out there! Don't say I never told you so!!!!(less)

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Jan 15, 2008 Matt rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: people who love thomas kincaide and celine dion

there are so many problems with this book that i can't even begin to address them all. but i will say this, 'twilight' is probably one of the worst, if not THE worst, books i've ever read. the writing is amateurish at best [cliches, stereotypes, purple prose--how anyone can applaud meyer's prose is puzzling]; the editing--or lack thereof--is appalling [this is a 200 page novel, no more and probably less]; the grammar and syntax are unforgivably bad; the plot is onion-skin thin; and the character...more there are so many problems with this book that i can't even begin to address them all. but i will say this, 'twilight' is probably one of the worst, if not THE worst, books i've ever read. the writing is amateurish at best [cliches, stereotypes, purple prose--how anyone can applaud meyer's prose is puzzling]; the editing--or lack thereof--is appalling [this is a 200 page novel, no more and probably less]; the grammar and syntax are unforgivably bad; the plot is onion-skin thin; and the characters are uniformly dull and uninspiring.

it's hard to imagine how so many people got suckered into this book. the novel's protagonist, bella swan [really? i mean, really?], is a complete idiot. she has no dreams, no motivations, no ambitions, no hopes, no goals, and not a single original thought of her own. she spends 500 pages spewing endless platitudes and commenting on edwards 'perfect face,' 'amber eyes,' and 'perfectly-muscled chest' ad nauseum [those references number in the HUNDREDS, literally]. she constantly wonders why edward, a 100-year old domineering vampire, wants her. apparently she's the only one who doesn't realize how 'beautiful' she is. too bad, so sad. honestly, this is the kind of novel you'd expect see selling for $1.99 at the supermarket checkout, not winning all sorts of awards. at one point i was half-expecting to close the book and find fabio on the cover. and a glittery vampire? gimme a break.

frankly, i'm mystified at its popularity. if nothing else, i guess it goes to show what clever marketing and stories of wish-fulfillment and so-called 'forbidden love' can do to some women. it's made meyer a multi-millionaire, i'm sure, and turned her publisher into a cash cow. i don't begrudge anyone his or her success, but when it comes via a turd like 'twilight,' it's well, more than a tad saddening.

'twlight' apologists will say that 'at least young women are reading!'i guess you could make that argument, but with that kind of logic you might as well congratulate an anorexic for eating a marshmallow.(less)

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Nov 16, 2012 Nataliya rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: i-also-saw-the-film, this-was-quite-bad, first-in-a-series

Since, according to the news, the sun is about to set on the Twilight movie franchise (because this stuff is apparently news-worthy), I will take this opportunity to share my favorite Twilight-bashing resources with you, my friends.

But wait, you say! Shouldn't I take some time to actually *review* this book?

But dear friends, is there really a need for yet ANOTHER Twilight review? Because if you somehow still have no idea about this book series, I would love to borrow your tinfoil hat. I'm seri

...more

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Dec 09, 2012 Nilesh Kashyap rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Reviewing Twilight after reading War & Peace is definitely not the best thing.
By the time I’m posting this review most of the people have already read it and those who have not, perhaps never will.
After reading gazillion book-bashing reviews of Twilight there is no part of book left for me to bash upon (I see prospect for my bashing review in Fifty Shades of Grey)and perhaps nothing to add what all the reviewers have already said.
I’m writing this because it’s been sometime that I’ve written...more

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Jul 02, 2012 Cait added it · review of another edition

Since this book has already been reviewed from hell to high water, I thought that I could treat you all to what this whole book (and small part of New Moon, as well) was in a simple little gif nutshell. Enjoy, all:

And that's pretty much it.

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Aug 04, 2011 Kira rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Oh, God! No one!

Recommended to Kira by: A tween

Shelves: ya, books-to-use-as-weapons, vampire-crap, train-wreck-romance, tstl-heroine, go-choke-on-your-sexism

On April 28, 1945, Italian resistance fighters cornered Benito Mussolini and shot both him and his mistress. Then they hoisted his body up on a meat hook and hung him upside down at a petrol station in Milan, just to prove that yes, that bastard is dead, and we capped him. We capped him good and proper.

However, the hype over a fascist dictator who held his own people hostage and fought (in a limp-dicked way) with the Axis Powers died out gradually over the twentieth century. Isn't it amazing how...more

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Oct 04, 2010 Ceridwen rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: america-and-environs, baying-at-the-moon, for-teh-ladies, gothic, shit-show, necrophilia, young-adult

So, fair warning, this review is a museum piece of a conflict on Goodreads, and is not a very informative review of the book, if that is what you are looking for. And seriously, why are you even reading Twilight reviews? If you haven't read the book, you are unlikely to at this point, and if you have, you know what you think. I suppose I could take the review down, but I like how dated it is, and I like the comment thread below.

Sorry I keep floating this review. Stuff keeps changing though, so...more

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Aug 16, 2008 Meghan rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: ya

This is a joke, right? This is some Truman Show-style business, with the legions of fans and the movie and the this and that omgwtfbbq, yes? Okay you guys can jump out from your hiding spaces now! And yell SURPRISE! Good one you really got me...guys...guys, come on. I mean fine let's just say that this is a real book and people seriously like it, let's say for argument. So what is their favorite part, I just want to know? Is it the part where Bella has some super bizarre outdated diction going f...more

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Jan 10, 2012 Anila rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: reviewed, save-me-from-the-tropes

ATTENTION
Pictures have been fixed, hopefully for forever.

Right. This is going to be totally tongue-in-cheek, or at least mostly, because I don't feel like saying what's already been said about this book. If you want to know how I feel about the technical/storytelling aspects of this book, go read any of the numerous articulate, well-written one-star reviews. The one thing I will say is: I still like Alice. She was my favorite character when I liked the books and the only one I consider worth the...more

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Jan 25, 2008 Saya rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Romance obsessed teen girls

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. The problem I have with Twilight is that while my inner fangirl loves this book my outer author (though amateur) knows how poor a book this is. But Twilight is a romance meant for teenage girls longing for a romantic escape, realism would only detract from the magic of Forks and the Cullens, if you want to enjoy this book then you must embrace that inner fangirl and let go of your outer author. I only wish that Mrs. Meyer had put more effort into at least making the characters more real. Questio...more The problem I have with Twilight is that while my inner fangirl loves this book my outer author (though amateur) knows how poor a book this is. But Twilight is a romance meant for teenage girls longing for a romantic escape, realism would only detract from the magic of Forks and the Cullens, if you want to enjoy this book then you must embrace that inner fangirl and let go of your outer author. I only wish that Mrs. Meyer had put more effort into at least making the characters more real. Questions such as why the Cullens returned to Forks arise or why they are attending high school again (according to an FAQ it is to stay current with new discoveries but surely such a small town is not ideal for knowledge), I like to pretend that the Cullens returned to Forks for Alice and Jasper's sake so they could be at the beginning of the vampires' enemies as well as learn to be human in a small town before moving on to bigger things- alas, such reasoning is not used and we must accept this reality without explanation, which even my inner fangirl cannot accept.

The romance- some love it, some complain how unrealistic and stupid it is. Well, it is Bella's first love, despite all the male attention she didn't care. Edward has read the minds of everyone around him for 90 years, immediately labeling someone and (most likely) not giving them a chance beyond politeness, then comes along a girl whose mind he can't read and whose blood drives him to the edge of insanity; when he learns more about Bella he sees a, mature girl who shares similar hobbies, and enjoys old fashioned things (like himself). Alas, what I have pointed out (actually based on someone else's review) is not remarked upon in the book; we are to accept that they love each other and that is all- no questions, their love transcends time and they shall die for the other and blah, blah, blah. If only Meyer had Bella and Edward explain their attraction to each other, then this book would be more liked.

The main character is either called smart or stupid. Bella does display positive traits: unlike the sequels she is selfless enough to get her friends together and move to Forks so her mother can be happy with her boyfriend, Bella is also intelligent enough to be placed in an advanced program, she displays a sarcastic wit which eventually turns into decent humor rather than complaining, she reads the classics like Austen, listens to Debussy and other music quite often, and most importantly, is very observant- she notices the Cullens vampire speed speaking to each other, how they don't eat their food, how Edward's eye color changes, their abnormal camping season, and how beautifully alike they all are.
On the bad side: Bella is not wise enough to think that as a danger prone, clumsy, bad luck magnet that she may be in danger at night, alone, in an unfamiliar city. Her intelligence is arguable when she is in Edward's presence since she either is too consumed by first love to think clearly or she is perhaps, so stupid and selfish she doesn't care (which becomes apparent in the sequels). A neutral trait is Bella's clumsiness- a common Moe Moe trait- which is actually rather cute given that it is random and not serious (unlike the sequels) but her clumsiness is questionable in it's realism- though thankfully, her clumsiness didn't set in motion events (unlike the sequels which only happened because of an ACCIDENT than her clumsiness). Her issue with blood is my biggest gripe, I know real people are hemophobes (fear of blood) but it just seems out of place with Bella, of all her traits, this one feels the most tacked on, existing only for irony.
The biggest flaw is not even of her character but of her appearance. If you read Meyer's FAQ you will see just how similar Bella is to Stephenie only her appearance reminds me of a cute anime girl- the clumsy Moe Moe. Bella's name is even worse: Isabella Marie Swan- Beautiful Swan- gee, that's subtle. I cannot fathom how Eric, Mike, Tyler, and Jacob all came to pursue Bella- Eric is desperate, Mike is popular so he doesn't make sense, Tyler only wants to make up nearly killing Bella, and Jacob falls in love with Bella with nothing more than the knowledge that this girl used to hang out with his older sisters. Then of course is Lauren- the most popular girl in school- who becomes jealous of Bella for the rest of high school for having so much attention and not wanting it.
Bella reminds me of Fujioka Haruhi from Ouran High School Host Club, only Haruhi is cool and special, I can understand why four guys and a girl love her and why a mean girl is envious. Only Bella chooses to fight because she knows she will trip if she tries to run while Haruhi will choose to fight to protect girls from jerks.

Edward's appeal comes largely from the fact that no man (or woman) can be THAT romantically perfect. My fangirl coos at Edward's suave, flirtatious, and mysterious nature (also because he wears a turtleneck) while my author longs for a more solid character. All of Edward's charming characteristics stem from his experience as a vampire rather than the son of a wealthy lawyer in Chicago who dreamed of fighting in the war- but either 90 years of mind reading and some of killing bad people leads to a questionable conclusion, I just don't feel that Edward's past is part of the vampire Bella meets. Also, his angst- laughably dumb. Sorry Ed, but I just don't care, perhaps it is Edward's nature to try and help others but his past escapades of murder and heroics are forgotten after they are mention and are not recalled in the sequels.

The writing was simple and had a nice magical ring to it, it brought a real sense of the misty, green atmosphere behind Bella's house and the sunny yellow meadow of Edward's.

A big problem I have with Twilight is how we must exit Bella's head to analyze characters. Bella's self esteem seems fine in the beginning given how she doesn't care for the male attention nor cares for Lauren's envy but as she falls in love with Edward he is seen through her "first love and with the perfect guy" eyes and Edward as a person is lost to Bella considering him perfect. Luckily, we only encounter a few of her self-depreciating comments- only when she is caught by surprise by Edward's vampiric beauty (and for the first time). But I do not enjoy having to analyze these characters through the eyes of a girl who can see nothing but absolute perfection. Bella is supposed to be observant and yet cannot pick out characteristics like how much Edward questions her since he can't read her mind and especially not what someone would be like after 90 years of immediately labeling someone by reading their thoughts.

As an author and reader, I roll my eyes at Meyer's biggest mistake- whereas my fangirl was excited and happy with the random encounter of James' coven, I still know how desperate Meyer must have been for an exciting conclusion and so tossed this in. Albeit, fangirls will enjoy the cat-and-mouse game at the end (as well as the character development of Alice and most definitely Jasper) but critics will scoff at the sudden appearance to conclude what just was a mystery and romance driven plot where the only danger was Edward himself. The worst part of the encounter is how this completely random wind sets in motion the hunt, not even Bella's clumsiness (which may have improved the chase), but a wind.

Meyer had plenty of opportunities to be the new Anne Rice (with actual literary credit rather than a strong fan following) and yet she fails to create strong supporting characters, secondary characters, world, vampire mythology, and overall a strong story. Her vampires have NO WEAKNESSES, rather than die in sunlight they sparkle, they even have super, special, awesome powers- some which effect Bella and some that don't, which goes unexplained for two books. While I am not a romance fan and have no interest in romance myself, I was still enchanted with Twilight. Alas dear reader, the magic shrivels up and dies in New Moon and Eclipse; trust me, stop here- maybe read New Moon since a lot happens plot and relationship wise, but DO NOT read Eclipse for even though important stuff does happen it is handled so poorly I can scarcely acknowledge it.(less)

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Aug 23, 2008 Elizabeth added it · review of another edition Recommends it for: teenage girls who like the Jonas Brothers

2012: I wrote the review below in 2008. In retrospect I think it's too snarky, but it is a critical analysis at heart, supported by examples from the text, so I've decided to leave it up. But I want to preface it with two comments: 1. I would be nowhere right now without Stephenie Meyer. She had a pivotal role in bringing paranormal YA to a level of popularity that widened the whole market, making my own book sale more likely. Moreover, studying her novel allowed me to think more clearly about h...more 2012: I wrote the review below in 2008. In retrospect I think it's too snarky, but it is a critical analysis at heart, supported by examples from the text, so I've decided to leave it up. But I want to preface it with two comments: 1. I would be nowhere right now without Stephenie Meyer. She had a pivotal role in bringing paranormal YA to a level of popularity that widened the whole market, making my own book sale more likely. Moreover, studying her novel allowed me to think more clearly about how I wanted to approach my own. I'm thrilled at her success, and deeply impressed with how well she taps into the psyche of so many YA readers; 2. I recently read an interview with her, and she seems like a great person—kind and generous. I would probably enjoy her company!

The entire review is spoilery, so I'm hiding it for the one person on the planet who hasn't read it or seen the movie...
(view spoiler)

(less)

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Feb 25, 2009 Julie (Mom2lnb) rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Fans of PN Romance or Sweet Romances

Shelves: desert-island-keepers, paranormal-romance, read-2008, young-adult-fiction

Reviewed for THC Reviews
I have to admit that I haven't read a great deal of young adult literature during my adult life, so I wasn't quite sure what to expect from Twilight. There was also a great deal of hype surrounding this book, which can sometimes mean a really great book and other times can be a big letdown. Now that I have finally read Twilight, I have to say that it definitely lived up to the hype for me. I absolutely loved this tale of teen love between a human and a vampire. With this...more Reviewed for THC Reviews
I have to admit that I haven't read a great deal of young adult literature during my adult life, so I wasn't quite sure what to expect from Twilight. There was also a great deal of hype surrounding this book, which can sometimes mean a really great book and other times can be a big letdown. Now that I have finally read Twilight, I have to say that it definitely lived up to the hype for me. I absolutely loved this tale of teen love between a human and a vampire. With this type of subject matter the story could have been completely campy, but instead was very beautiful, in my opinion, with enough romance and substance to rival the best adult romance novels. In fact, I thought that Twilight exhibited a surprising depth of emotion, intimacy and even sensuality without ever resorting to anything explicit. I think the intimacy was owing in large part to the amazing level of communication between Bella and Edward. These two teen protagonists affected more stark honesty in their communication than many adult characters in romance novels, rarely holding anything back from each other. Edward was even forthcoming about who and what he was far sooner than I ever expected him to be. The sensuality was conveyed through simple things like smiles, kisses and touches and most importantly their beautiful dialog. Of course much of this was possible because, neither Edward nor Bella, were really “normal” teenagers. I'm sure I wouldn't have enjoyed the book nearly as much as I did if the main teen characters had behaved in what has seemed to become the “typical” teen manner of extreme cattiness, rebellion, and out-of-control hormones. Instead, the story became a refreshing take on teen behavior, and a gentle reminder that not all teens do behave in the “typical” way.

I honestly can't think of a single thing that's not to like about the two main characters, Edward and Bella. Edward is a kind, sensitive and loving beta hero with a dash of alpha protectiveness (he probably wouldn't be a very good vampire without that). He wages a constant battle in his own mind between the knowledge that Bella is perfect for him and the knowledge that being near him will only increase the risks for his adorable but accident-prone danger-magnet. Edward is frequently reminding Bella of the risk he himself poses to her very life, and yet he always behaves as a perfect gentleman, even in the most difficult circumstances. I also love the gentle way that Edward teases Bella, and sometimes she gives back in kind. I enjoyed this banter and thought that it gave a lightly humorous dimension to the story. In addition to having a good sense of humor, Bella was also very intelligent, shy and a bit socially awkward, and endearingly clumsy, making her entirely relatable to me. Bella considered herself to be a very plain, ordinary girl, but Edward thought her to be completely beautiful. Having played the role of parent in her relationship with both of her parents, one could say that Bella had not had the most ideal upbringing, but it did not stop her from being the best person she could be or loving her parents dearly. I think Bella's best trait though, was her intuitive nature about Edward and things in general. I love it when the heroine in romance novels can simply sense things about the hero and read into that accordingly. Bella did have one moment where I would predict that many adult readers would consider her TSTL (too-stupid-to-live), but I was able to forgive that lapse because of her youth and inexperience with such dangerous situations. Overall, both Edward and Bella were two engaging characters who sparkled (no pun intended, but you'll get it when you read the book) in nearly every scene that they shared. I greatly enjoyed reading them and thought that they complimented each other perfectly.

The secondary cast of characters was a wonderful dichotomous mix of both the human and the supernatural. There were Bella's high school friends, who were generally a mix of pretty good kids, the type I wouldn't mind my own kids being friends with or would have liked being friends with myself in my teen years. Edward's family was an eclectic mix of personalities. There was Emmet, the big, lovable lug of a teddy bear, mysterious and aloof Rosalie, Alice and Jasper with their amazing psychic and empathic gifts, and their “parents,” Carlisle (aka Dr. Cullen) and Esme who have their own fascinating back-stories. I also found the Native American father and son characters, Billy and Jacob Black to be intriguing. They seem to share some contentious history with the Cullens which isn't fully explored in this volume. It will be very interesting to see where this part of the story leads in future installments.

Twilight is a very sweet and innocent romance, which I mentioned earlier has no explicit elements. There is no sex, only a couple of mild profanities, and considering that the subject matter deals with vampires, the violence is kept to a minimum. In my opinion, this book is quite appropriate for the age group for which it is intended. I would have no problem at all with my children reading it when they are a bit older. In fact, I felt as I read the book that it sends some positive family and relationship messages to teens. Even though Bella's relationship with her parents is less than ideal, there is still love and respect between them, and Edward seems to have very loving “family” connections as well. What I liked most though, is the development of Edward and Bella's romance. Their physiological attraction to each other is immediate and powerful, yet they take the time to build a friendship that is based on mutual trust, respect and love, which is more than can be said for many adults. Edward and Bella only discuss sex one time over the course of the novel and in very subtle terms, but in my opinion, Edward's blood lust could be taken as something of a metaphor for sexual desire. Whether taken in the metaphorical or mythological context, I thought that Edward's self-control contained a beautiful message of his pure love for Bella superseding all other desires.

I found Twilight to be a thoroughly enjoyable read which has earned a place on my keeper shelf. The first two-thirds of the book moves at a rather languid but steady pace owing to the extensive character and relationship development. After that, it almost instantly turns into a taut suspense/thriller when Bella's life is threatened. This is one of those books that was very difficult to put down. I just couldn't wait to see what might happen next or what new piece of the puzzle might be revealed, and Ms. Meyer also did not disappoint with her own unique take on vampire mythology. Even though the book is written entirely in first-person from Bella's perspective, I thought the author did a good job of conveying Edward's thoughts and feelings too, through extensive use of dialog. As an aside, I really liked the small-town atmosphere of Forks, but as a Phoenician, I couldn't help but have a soft spot for the scenes in Phoenix. As such, I can attest to all the place names being real and the descriptions of the city to be spot on, which isn't surprising since Ms. Meyer is a Phoenician as well. It was rather surreal but also pretty cool to read scenes that are set in places that I have actually been. Twilight is the first volume in the Twilight Saga followed by New Moon , Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn . Ms. Meyer is also planning a re-write of Twilight from Edward's perspective titled Midnight Sun. I am really looking forward to continuing this fascinating series, and even though I am often disappointed with movie versions of my favorite novels, I am truly looking forward to the the Twilight movie which is due to be released in theaters this December.(less)

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Jan 17, 2009 Kevin Fanning rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

We're going to try this, and we're going to try to be open-minded about it. We're going to try not to gawk terribly at some of the sentences that have rumpled our eyebrows so far. We're going to just forget that on p 12 the modern teenage narrator is said to have donned her jacket. We're going to just read the book, that's all.

--(Later)--

--OK here's my review. --

If you come to this book looking for things to like, you will find things to like. Star-cross'd lovers, vampires, the universal awkwar...more We're going to try this, and we're going to try to be open-minded about it. We're going to try not to gawk terribly at some of the sentences that have rumpled our eyebrows so far. We're going to just forget that on p 12 the modern teenage narrator is said to have donned her jacket. We're going to just read the book, that's all.

--(Later)--

--OK here's my review. --

If you come to this book looking for things to like, you will find things to like. Star-cross'd lovers, vampires, the universal awkwardness of high school: hay has been previously made from these topics, and that isn't likely to change in the future. In Twilight, I thought the new-kid-at-school stuff was handled well, and some of the back-and-forth of teenagers sussing each other out was great. The author also has a very dry sense of humor which popped up, but too seldom.

If, on the other hand, you come to this book looking for things to hate, you will find things to hate. The author makes a habit of using phrases that yank the reader out of character and out of world, and there are a number of instances where the information the reader is given contradicts or ignores what the author previously told us. This doesn't make Twilight a bad book, but it makes it a bit amateurish. The book felt like a NaNoWriMo project that was delivered to Barnes & Noble on December 1st. And if that sounds like sour grapes, it is.

My main problem with the book was that language and behavior the author uses to characterize the relationship between Edward and Bella is the language and behavior of abuse. He's kind to her one minute, cruel the next. When he's mean to her, he blames his behavior on her, and she accepts the fault as her own. He stalks her, eavesdropping on her conversations and watching her while she sleeps every night. He gets angry and jealous, even threatening, whenever she speaks to any other boy, and she must keep reminding him that he's the only one she cares about. He slowly takes control over her life, convincing her to not drive anymore (for her own safety), deciding when and how her father should learn about him and meet him, and stating that he doesn't want her to be away from his side, ever. Yes, he's a vampire, and we can explain some of this away within the context of the story. But I wonder what it's like for someone who's ever filed a restraining order to read this book.

And I guess that's why my heart breaks for all the teenage girls who read this book and love it. If someone can make a feminist argument for Bella I'd love to hear it, but in my opinion she's a depressing excuse for a protagonist, filled with self-loathing and seemingly incapable of doing anything for herself. (Except cook!) Any girl who identifies with Bella (and there is plenty to identify with), or wishes she could be Bella, deserves to set her sights so much higher.

That said: I think adults have a tendency to overemphasize the effect any one particular piece of art can have on younger minds. When I was a teenager I owned the G N' R Lies album, and although the music appealed to me then, I managed to grow up into a person who recognizes the misogyny of "Used to Love Her" and the homophobia and xenophobia of "One in a Million." But I didn't become that way because adults told me I shouldn't listen to that album, and who knows how that would have turned out, if it'd become something I felt I needed to dig my heels in over.

There's something beyond value, something universally humanizing, in the act of getting lost in the world of a book or a movie or an album, especially when you're a teenager. If millions of people are experiencing that with Twilight, than I want them to have that. It's good for humans, it's good for books, and it's good for the universe. I'll just hope that later on they'll also give themselves to chance to get lost in the worlds of girls like Willow Rosenberg, Listen Taylor, Frankie Landau-Banks, and Tally Youngblood.(less)

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About Stephenie Meyer

I was born in Connecticut in 1973, during a brief blip in my family's otherwise western U.S. existence. We were settled in Phoenix by the time I was four, and I think of myself as a native. The unusual spelling of my name was a gift from my father, Stephen (+ ie = me). Though I have had my name spelled wrong on pretty much everything my entire life long, I must admit that it makes it easier to goo...more I was born in Connecticut in 1973, during a brief blip in my family's otherwise western U.S. existence. We were settled in Phoenix by the time I was four, and I think of myself as a native. The unusual spelling of my name was a gift from my father, Stephen (+ ie = me). Though I have had my name spelled wrong on pretty much everything my entire life long, I must admit that it makes it easier to google myself now.
I filled the "Jan Brady" spot in my family-the second of three girls. Unlike the Brady's, none of my three brothers are steps, and all of them are younger than all the girls. I went to high school in Scottsdale, Arizona, the kind of place where every fall a few girls would come back to school with new noses and there were Porsches in the student lot (for the record, I have my original nose, and never had a car until after I was in my twenties). I was awarded a National Merit Scholarship, and I used it to pay my way to Brigham Young University, in Provo, Utah. I majored in English, but concentrated on literature rather than creative writing, mostly because I didn't consider reading books "work" (as long as I was going to be doing something anyway, I might as well get course credit for it, right?).
I met my husband, Pancho (his real name is Christiaan), when I was four, but we were never anywhere close to being childhood sweethearts. In fact, though we saw each other at least weekly through church activities, I can't recall a single instance when we so much as greeted each other with a friendly wave, let alone exchanged actual words. This may have been for the best, because when we did eventually get around to exchanging words, sixteen years after our first meeting, it only took nine months from the first "hello" to the wedding. Of course, we were able to skip over a lot of the getting to know you parts (many of our conversations would go something like this: "This one time, when I was ten, I broke my hand at a party when-" "Yeah, I know what happened. I was there, remember?") We've been married for ten and a half years now, and have three beautiful, brilliant, wonderful boys who often remind me chimpanzees on crack. I can't write without music, and my biggest muse is, ironically enough, the band Muse. My other favorite sources of inspiration are Linkin Park, My Chemical Romance, Coldplay, The All American Rejects, Travis, The Strokes, Brand New, U2, Kasabian, Jimmy Eat World, and Weezer, to mention a few.(less)

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Quotes from Twilight

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…" he murmured. I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilled to the word.
"What a stupid lamb," I sighed.
"What a sick, masochistic lion.” — 5,830 people liked it

“I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars.” — 3,977 people liked it

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