The New Dare to Discipline
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The New Dare to Discipline

3.82 of 5 stars 3.82  ·  rating details  ·  1,246 ratings  ·  108 reviews
Why are boundaries so important? Do children really want limits set on their behavior? Is it okay to spank my child, or will it lead him to hit others and become a violent person? Join the millions of caring parents who have found much-needed answers to their questions in the wisdom of parenting expert and family counselor Dr. James Dobson. "The New Dare to Discipline" is...more
Hardcover, 276 pages
Published July 7th 1992 by Tyndale House Publishers (first published November 30th 1969)
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Ruth Hinds
This is a tough book to review. The first 4 chapters are about disciplining your child, with a strong emphasis on spanking. My husband & I choose not to spank. Especially after reading the excellent parenting books, The Five Love Languages of Children and Personality Plus for Parents, I believe that spanking isn't a good way to discipline, and there are even some children who would be damaged emotionally by it. I just tried to replace "spanking" with "timeouts" in my head. The next section c...more
Leann
Jun 01, 2007 Leann rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: parents or parents-to-be
Shelves: parenting
The best thing about this book is that it reminds you to be consistent in your parenting. It isn't all about corporal punishment, though it does advocate that as a method of discipline for the worst of offenses. Instead, it tells you to tailor the discipline to the offense and the child, and reminds you to make sure to be in tune with your children to make sure that the actions your punishing are actual rebellion and not just tiredness, over-stimulation or even sickness. The book also advocates...more
Julie
I agreed with alot of what Dobson says regarding discipline - be consistent, reward good behavior, and make your child understand that you dislike their behavior, not THEM, when you DO discipline them. You're not doing them a favor by allowing them free reign. And THANK HEAVENS for a solid stance on morality too!

I also appreciated his thoughts on teachers. Coming from a family of teachers, I've seen firsthand the stressful problems they have to deal with now - not just teaching students, but bas...more
Ron
This book was my introduction to Dr. Dobson. Read between 1977 and 1979, when our older son was three to five years old. It seemed to radical then; today it must seem antediluvian. But it rings true, and it works.
There's no magic formula for anything involving human beings, but it was a helpful starting point; certainly better than much of the claptrap being foisted on parents then and now.
Msmurphybylaw
This book did more damage for my family than I care to illuminate.
Andrea Jardon
I started to read this and got about 80 pages in or so and decided to not complete it. I was very disappointed in this book and felt like Dr. Dobson approached child rearing in a philosphical way instead of a biblical way. Very seldomnly did he refer to the Bible and God's viewpoint and occassionally referred to "mother nature" and things like that. There are so many philosophies out there on what is the right way to raise a child and I have prayed for my mind to be clear and free from finding a...more
Susan


Interesting but most of this approach is way too strict in my opinion. And listen, you don't often hear me say that. There were some ideas that I agree with or at least can look at them as food for thought. I read this book at the same time I read Cesar Milan's book on training puppies - and I have to say if you compare the two/ or if you followed each approach/ "Dare to Disc." with the kids and Cesar's approach with the dog - I believe the dog would be the one living the better life.
Brian Taylor
Great book, but in need of another update. (The "New" Dare to Discipline was published in 1995 ... now nearly 20 years old. Yes, hard to believe, but 1995 was almost 20 years ago.) You have to be willing to ignore or look past some of the things that reflect the way things were in the 80's and 90's. Things have changed since then, and so have both children and their parents.

Since I have young kids, the first half of the book was the most insightful for me. (The 2nd half of the book deals with ra...more
Larry
DTD was written during a time when parents erred on the side of being too lax. homes typically lacked much of any discipline, so dobson did a great service by balancing things out and calling on parents to set limits. i've seen many, however, misuse its message as an excuse for being too harsh and too physical in their discipline, which is why i gave it 2 stars. i still think it is a good book for those who tend to be too lax, however.
Stephanie
I know that there's an updated version of this book, and that might make it feel more relevant, but so much has happened since the edition I read came out. Dobson seems to target hippies--not in their values or anything but in their evident lack of discipline--and writes an inordinate amount about how lack of discipline at home and in schools causes problems in society.

And he wrote all of this before school shootings and the wars on drugs and terrorism became daily concerns.

When I say that bit a...more
Francine
Although still gestating at this moment, the aspect of bearing children that frightens me the most is not the physical abuse pregnancy inflicts on my body, not the pain of labor, but the fact that I'm going to have to discipline my child. I was never good at it as a baby-sitter or Sunday school teacher, and I know that i'm not going to magically acquire the skills to discipline my children just because they happen to enter the world and be mine.

I highly recommend this book - the first half was...more
Lisa
This book me a while to get through. But I am done! I borrowed this from my Bishops wife and I think I am going to have to buy my own copy so I can read it again and again! I like Dr. Dobson's philosophy! I think he is right on. He is very conservative but I really like that! Its refreshing! I learned that I am in charge! I don't know why we forget that, but it felt good to read it. He told a story about a mom who called about her six month old son's fever and he asked what his temperature was a...more
Kris Irvin
Finally, a book that is applicable to toddlers and teenagers! I'll admit to only having read the first 100 pages or so, and skimming the rest as it's not applicable to me yet. It's a quick and engaging read, and has lots of good ideas and advice. The guy seems balanced - he's not overly fluffy and all "oh, your baby is made of kittens and rainbows and thus sometimes when Saturn wanes purple he will get grumpy and you mustn't scold him for fear of damaging his inner chakras," and he's also not in...more
Go2therock
I've been a Mama for 28 years now, and a Christian for over 21 of those. It's a bit unbelievable, even to me, that I had not ever read Dare To Discipline by Dr. Dobson. Even at this point it life, I have gleaned great, practical wisdom and tools from reading this book. Using one of his recommendations for younger children as my springboard, I created a chart of goals for my young adult daughters, ages 15 and 17. (I avoid the word teenager.) They were quite excited by the prospect. Three of the g...more
Mary Lou
Good ruler for raising kids.
"punishment should be used away from the curious eye"
"you cheat a child of pleasure, when you give him too much"
Set limits for the child and stick to them. If you are unable to get a child to pick up his toys when young, you are unable to guide him and get him to answer requests when he is a teenager.

"He who does not punish evil commands it to be done" - Leonardo Da Vinci

Prosperity offers a greater test of character than adversity

Pleasure occurs when an intense need...more
Lauren Langford
After reading the first few chapters of this book I found myself in a panic that I would never succeed at raising a child in such a challenging age.

But after persevering and fighting the discomfort that the content of this book is able to inspire, it became clear that there are some amazing lessons in this narrative.

Above all else, this book empowers parents to stand their ground for what they believe and that is amazing and priceless.
Susanna
I got this book at McKay's for 50 cents, and it was certainly an interesting read! The ideas presented were not vastly different from the ideas I have read in other discipline books, but the way in which they were presented was a little off-putting. I felt as if I was listening to a private conversation that Dobson was having with one of his buddies, which--while fine for someone who already understands where he's coming from-- would not be appropriate for an audience who might not understand hi...more
Beth
Pretty common-sense advice, such as:
-be consistent
-don't give in to whining
-follow through with consequences the first time a child disobeys instead of nagging
etc.

I think you would read this same (good) advice in any child-rearing book, but this was presented in a disturbingly Dobsony way.

My very favorite part of the book was when Dobson was listing all the horrible things teens were into in the 70s such as drug usage and vandalism, and he included "civil disobedience" in the list! Oh, those ho...more
Carl Wunsch
Excellent, practical, and helpful advice on disciplining children. Another book to be re-read many times. It gave me great ideas, concepts, and reasons for instilling discipline in not only my child but students where I work as well.
Natalie Schwettman
Very realistic parenting. A great book about staying calm, collected, and in control. I don't share all of the same views as Dr. Dobson; 90% of what he was saying is dead-on & so far is working WONDERS in my home with my 4 year old, strong willed, daughter. I plan on reading that book next by Dr. Dobson.
Gabriel
So I picked this up, knowing that my folks had it around the house, and that I want to do discipline well for my son, and maybe even pick up a few pointers for school. I'm impressed by the wisdom of Dobson, I think he's appropriately advocating discipline that's thought-out, balanced, not spiteful, not heartless, etc. The book is a jumble of patched together thoughts, a bit difficult to stick with and draw pointers from. I'm looking for an instruction manual, or a descriptions of appropriate act...more
Davis Graham
Discipline now or be heartbroken later. Great insight as to the responsibility of raising a child and how to shepherd your children into the next generation.
Camille K.
Of all the hard-core discipline books from evangelicalism, this one's actually one of the more reasonable. And I'm not a big Dobson fan. The standard elements of such books are here, but he's presenting it for a purely secular audience (the Scripture is all in the back in an appendix).

It's funny to read his diatribe against the youth culture of the 60s -- that under-30 set -- when he's only 34 when he wrote the book!! :p It's also funny to read his harangue against the 1950s as the beginning of...more
Belebe
It's a great book overall. The only vibe is I still can't bring myself to spank my kids. I tried it once (which wasn't even a real spanking) on my girl and she looked at me with disgust and said 'what's with that?'. After that, I'd never used it again. I went back to using reasoning, time-out and withdrawal of privileges. Because it just reminds me too much of how I felt when my mom spanked me when I was a kid. I pretty much remember the spankings more than any other events during my childhood....more
Caroline
- This review is just for me. I figure I will reread these parenting books and want a quick reminder of the content

- great reminder on the importance of discipline - immediate reward or punishment is important - parent needs to be calm and in control of situation - in support of spanking - supports differentiated instruction in the classroom - be proactive about answering questions about sex as the child grows instead of a diatribe - problems with children's behaviors is directly related to pare...more
Danielle
My copy is from 1970. It is in no way politically correct. That being said, it was interesting to read the perspective of a professional with views so vastly different from what I was taught in my formal education. I found myself agreeing with a lot more of his views than I had first thought. I saw the results of "permissive parenting" in my classroom and hope to save my boys from such. I did not come from a home of permissive parents. I still can't bring myself to agree with him on the whole sp...more
Rebecca
Such great information to help parents! James Dobson is a wonderful teacher, writer and fellow human being!
Sarah
The author's perspective is decidedly dated, so a lot of his examples and language feel distractingly out of touch. That said, the broad principles he lays out -- consistency, meaningful rewards, parental authority, and thoughtful discipline as a expression of loving care -- are valuable and wise. I suspect that many parents (ahem, like maybe my own) would take his examples of how to apply the principles very literally, rather than coming up with their own methods that make sense for their famil...more
Karen
I don't have kids, so I can't relate to the experiences, I just read this for information's sake.
That said, I appreciated that he was trying to come at it from a religious perspective. I appreciated his views on morality. I agree that the parent needs to be in charge and there needs to be discipline and consequences.
But, a lot of this book read as "in defense of my opinion" rather than a very helpful guidebook. And a lot of his suggestions for toddlers were exactly the same things I read in...more
Peg Garner De Contreras
So Far So Good ... Just Need To Keep Practicing Some of The Content!
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1060839
James C. Dobson is a psychologist, commentator, and writer. He is the founder of Focus on the Family, a group advocating what he views as Christian ethics and political conservatism, and hosts a radio program of the same name.
More about James C. Dobson...
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