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Positive Discipline A-Z: 1001 Solutions to Everyday Parenting Problems

3.89  ·  Rating Details ·  468 Ratings  ·  58 Reviews
As a parent, you face one of the most challenging—and rewarding—roles of your life. No matter how much you love your child, there will still be moments filled with anger, frustration, and, at times, desperation. What do you do? Over the years, millions of parents just like you have come to trust the Positive Discipline series for its consistent, commonsense approach to chi ...more
Paperback, 336 pages
Published March 27th 2007 by Harmony (first published 1993)
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(showing 1-30)
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Aug 21, 2012 Melissa rated it liked it
Full disclosure, I "read" this by skimming many of the chapters. I didn't learn anything new or particularly amazing, but it was some positive validation because we are already taking this approach to parenting. Honestly, it's not rocket science, but it is relentless and trying: kids need firm limits, but they need you to be gentle. Physical or verbal punishment (especially for 0-3 year-olds) just doesn't work. It's exhausting, but we need to constantly teach them the difference between acceptab ...more
Aug 26, 2010 Brandy rated it really liked it
Useful, practical advice.

The only thing that bothered me was the way children's behavior was described as "misbehavior" instead of how the behavior was experienced for the child (what needs the child was trying to fulfill using that particular behavior) and then examining why that particular behavior was a problem for the family, society, etc.. I feel like framing it through the child's eyes invites more empathy to the situation, while still focusing on solutions. Hearing the word "misbehavior"
Oct 01, 2011 Tammy rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting
I've read a lot of parenting books and I thought this was one of the easier ones to read because it told me exactly what to say in certain situations.

Quotes I really liked:
"Empowered children have opinions and want to be involved in decision making. Demanding children want everything to be their way."

"If you want your kids to listen more, use less words."

"Children tattle because they lack the skills to solve their own problems or because they feel discouraged and seek undue attention by trying t
Jun 11, 2010 Autumn rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Most any parent
I liked this so much because you can just look up the issue you are having and find out why your child might be acting this way, what they gain by it and how to prevent it. Besides that, it gives you actual possible conversations or statements to use with your child.
There is a lot to take from this book.
Sarah Milner
This was a reread; it has some helpful tips & tricks, which so come in handy when you're overwhelmed. Some of the writing is dumb, and the anecdotes could use some serious work. But, it's a helpful check in because they hints work at all age levels. Will definitely be referring back as we move on
Apr 29, 2013 Anne rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting
I refer to this one a lot!
Sep 18, 2016 Pam rated it it was ok
It had a few good nuggets and reminders about the nature of kids and how they are wired, however it was hard for me to take it seriously...

They open talking about how using negative consequences (eg a time out for unwanted behavior) is ineffective without ever citing research to back this claim.

What's worse (much worse), they say this approach will only provoke "guilt and shame." Guilt and shame are two very different concepts and should be distinguished as being totally different and elicited
Feb 08, 2013 Lisa rated it really liked it
Shelves: 32, parenting
I love the Positive Discipline series and this book was no exception. However, there were a few things that gave me pause and made me rate it as a 4-star book instead of a 5-star book.

First and most importantly, the authors advocate letting children as young as 3 months old cry it out to go to sleep at night. In my opinion (and several recent studies have started to demonstrate this), leaving a baby (especially one who cannot yet understand a verbal explanation) to cry alone in the dark is NOT a
Jan 14, 2014 Alyssa rated it liked it
This book is more of a reference book overall to help you address specific situations with your kids using positive discipline (situations like bedtime problems, electronics, lying, school issues, defiance, etc.). All readers are encouraged to read Part 1, which covers the basics of what positive discipline is. There are some good ideas in Part 1, but I didn't agree with some of the premises the authors are touting, such as no punishment and some of the things they tell you to do/say to treat yo ...more
Jul 19, 2015 Holly rated it liked it
Shelves: nonfiction
The book was a compilation of "parenting tools" from a positive discipline approach. There were a few parts of the book that were interesting and gave me something to consider, some of their advice I disagreed with, but most of the book had common sense answers you'd find anywhere.

In particular, the sibling rivalry section gave me something to think about. I found the obedience section interesting regarding the change in culture. We complain that our kids don't obey us like they did in the 1950
Patti K
May 08, 2012 Patti K rated it liked it
This was an easy one to get through quickly - it's well-organized and you can skip over or through the bits that don't really apply to your current situation. After all, once your kids are teens, do you care about separation anxiety for toddlers? Right. That part I liked.

The thing that keeps me from giving it more than 3 stars is the fact that it's almost too centrist. Don't get me wrong - I'm generally a political centrist, neither overly liberal nor overly conservative. However, it almost seem
May 06, 2008 Jennipher rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting
I could not have lived (or LIVE) without this book. I can't believe it doesn't have a higher rating to be honest!

What I LOVE LOVE LOVE about this book is that the only required reading is the first 13 or so pages (don't quote me on the exact number, I don't have the book in front of me). The first chapter lays down the basic principles of positive discipline. It is those principles that you NEED in order to carry out the techniques that are given in the following pages. From there...all you hav
Morgan Salvador
Jan 20, 2012 Morgan Salvador rated it really liked it
My husband and I are in the process of becoming foster parents, so I thought I would research some alternative/positive disciplining techniques, since spanking is absolutely prohibited. I found this book to be extremely helpful. It’s very user-friendly in its layout and practical in its advice. I certainly didn’t agree with all of the suggestions (not linking allowance to chores and making time-out a “happy place”), but overall I found the reasoning sound. I also appreciated that the book dealt ...more
Feb 06, 2010 Rebecca rated it really liked it
Recommended to Rebecca by: Hilary
Shelves: parenting
The first 50 pages of this book summarize the best parenting advice I've gleaned from thousands of pages of other books. If you only ever read 50 pages worth of parenting advice, these are the ones you want.

The rest of the book lists potential problems and issues in alphabetical order so you can skip around and find out about "mistreatment of pets", "bullying", "ADHD", and "allowance" or heaps and heaps of other topics relevant for tiny toddlers (biting other kids) to teens (cell phones).

This b
Jen Rike
Oct 30, 2012 Jen Rike rated it it was amazing
Shelves: own
Much like most parenting books this has a number of ideas on how to handle situations. However there's never just one method or way of handling parenting issue/situations. We were all brought up a certain way and sometimes its hard to break out of that cycle.

That being said, Positive Discipline and Parenting with Love and Logic are two books that I own and review on a yearly basis. I grow as a parent, partner, mom, sister, friend and daughter. My kids do the same...grow up, face different chall
Sarah Grass
Nov 13, 2014 Sarah Grass rated it really liked it
"Positive discipline is constructive, encouraging, affirming, helpful, loving, and optimistic... a balance of firmness and kindness, respect."

I love how this book emphasizes discipline is not about control. As a mother of 6 children I admit that I crave control! But I have to realize that I do not have the right to "control" my children- nor punish really. Educating, training, encouraging, inspiring, solution finding are more important- teaching them "to fish". :)

First 40 pages are a great revie
Aug 13, 2011 Jill rated it liked it
I totally disagree with a LOT of their presuppositions about the nature of kids (they'd say that kids misbehave b/c they are bored, not b/c of any kind of sin-nature or anything like that.) and parents and the relationship (very non hierarchical.). And while that philosophy undergirds the whole book, it's still a good go-to for ideas about dealing with tough behaviors, so long as you filter the stuff that really runs with the notion that children have just as much say in family decisions as pare ...more
May 20, 2011 Dianne rated it it was amazing
I love this method of parenting! I've always been a huge fan of Love and Logic, but this method taught me that why on earth do we try to solve problems with our children when our (parents/children) tempers are elevated. Find a happy place and then talk it out.

I really, really loved this and I'm not perfect at it, it has helped my home be a much better place.

FYI, for you LDS people, this book reminded me of the MTC. Commitment pattern at its best. Jane is mother to 8 children and yes...she's LDS
Elena Busila
I love any book that stands for raising your child with Love an Respect.

I always stood for that, but no one is perfect, and there are still situations in which I'm harsher than I want to be, or I am managing certain situations wrong.

This book helped me, because after reading it, whenever there's a critical moment my mind races to the advice in the book.
Every time I am diverging, I stop and think about how much I love my kids.

I think everyone should read this book, or books similar to this one.
Sep 12, 2007 Julie rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Parents
This book is great for those times when you don't have time to read a 300 page book about your child's behavior. It lists the most common behavior problems in alphabetical order and then gives you a 1-2 page plan outlining why it is likely happening and what you should do about it.

There are some good ideas for preschoolers, but I found many more ideas that would probably work best for school-age kids and young teens.
Sep 30, 2009 Chanelle rated it really liked it
Finally, a book that has everyday problems listed in alphabetical order so you can look up the problem you're experiencing at the moment (tattling, forgetting, chores, etc etc) and get suggestions on how to handle it in a loving, positive way. It's taught me to "sit back, chill out, and think of your children as cute and adorable like when they were babies" and to "talk less, act more". Love it.
Lauren Redmond
When I bought this used, I recognized the "Positive Discipline" part and was interested in learning more about that parenting technique. It was interesting to peruse through, but I don't find the alphabetized order to be as useful as just reading through one of her chapter books.

It might be more useful now that I have read her "Postive Discipline" chapter book and I can use this alphabetized book to go back and find the relevant areas of discipline I want to review.
Jan 03, 2013 Robin rated it liked it
Just like religion and politics, parenting strategies can bring up heated opinions, debate or just plain 'ol disagreement. There are things in this book I disagree with, but I think it has some wonderful options and insight on most things. I'd recommend it to any parent, whether i agreed with it 100% or not.
Jun 01, 2014 Teresa rated it it was amazing
This is another book that helped me as a new and young parent. I recommend this as good reading for any parent who is looking for a kind and loving way to teach your children that their are logical consequences to their behaviors and choices (as opposed to using force or physical pain to 'keep them in line').
Mar 01, 2011 Dara rated it really liked it
There are several takeaways from a positive discipline approach I really like: the idea of the 'flipped lid' (that you can't help a kid who is upset if you're also upset); the attention basket needing to be filled however a kid can fill it; positive time outs, not punitive. Some of it is common sense, but good reminders about watching your own behavior as a parent.
Aug 28, 2010 Jaclyn rated it liked it
not all applied to toddlers, so I skipped sections like dating and sex education for now. :) But found this a very concise help resource. it was great to look up issues alphabetically and have short, to the point ideas for dealing with common problems. A good resource I'll probably refer to again and again.
Good variety of issues are tackled in this book. It gives commonsense answers to sometimes difficult parenting situations. Not an answerbook for every time you are stuggling as a parent, but a good place to start.
Adziah Aziz
Jul 21, 2011 Adziah Aziz rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Positif Parenting-
'You are the bridge builder,as your child grew older and more skilled,you moved the 'sides of their bridges' farther apart so they have more room to move about freely while continuing to be safe.
May 03, 2011 Sarah rated it it was ok
Read with my discerning eye, this was a fairly good book. Though I don't agree with some of the specifics. It was a good reminder to me to relax, and let my kid grow, learn and develop at his pace. Always encouraging and teaching him rather than expecting too much too soon.
Nov 10, 2008 Stacey rated it really liked it
I like that this book is broken down into everyday problems and positive ways to handle them--the reason I give it so many stars. At times, the suggestions are a bit simplistic though. Still it is a great resource for parents.
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Dr. Jane Nelsen is a licensed Marriage, Family and Child Counselor in South Jordan, UT and Carlsbad, CA.

She is the author and/or coauthor of the Positive Discipline Series.
More about Jane Nelsen...

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