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315th out of 857 books
—
1,226 voters
Have You Found Her
by
Janice Erlbaum (Goodreads Author)
And every week, there was the unspoken question, the one I didn’t know enough to ask myself : Have you found her yet? The one who reminds you of you?
Twenty years after she lived at a homeless shelter for teens, Janice Erlbaum went back to volunteer. Now thirty-four years old and a successful writer, she’d changed her life for the better; now she wanted to help someone else...more
Twenty years after she lived at a homeless shelter for teens, Janice Erlbaum went back to volunteer. Now thirty-four years old and a successful writer, she’d changed her life for the better; now she wanted to help someone else...more
Paperback, 343 pages
Published
February 12th 2008
by Villard
(first published 2008)
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If I were to sum up the entire novel in a single word, I would choose "emotional". I don't mean emotional, like a weepy romance novel or a heavy memoir about death. I mean emotional, like pure, raw human emotion. Erlbaum spares us no detail of the pain and joy that she is swept over with during her journey with Sam.
The novel is mainly about the relationship between Erlbaum herself and Sam, an emotionally shattered teenager that she meets at a homeless shelter that she volunteered at. Erlbaum fi...more
The novel is mainly about the relationship between Erlbaum herself and Sam, an emotionally shattered teenager that she meets at a homeless shelter that she volunteered at. Erlbaum fi...more
So I read this book because on a train I sat next to someone who worked for the publishers of this memoir. She was such a fantastic storyteller, who in the first 10 minutes had regaled me with some truly hilarious tales, that I figured a recommendation by her meant this book had to be pretty good.
The writing is solid, but the story is just so absurd. From the start I thought that this woman clearly was entering her volunteer position from a selfish, confused, and emotionally vulnerable place.
No...more
The writing is solid, but the story is just so absurd. From the start I thought that this woman clearly was entering her volunteer position from a selfish, confused, and emotionally vulnerable place.
No...more
5 likes · like · see review
I read Janice Erlbaum's earlier memoir Girlbomb: A Halfway Homeless Memoir and really liked it so I picked this up. I realy enjoyed this book. It covers a time 20 years after Janice had left her monther's home and lived in and out of youth shelters in NYC for a few years in high school.
Now that she's an adult with a career, stable relationship and a good place with her family, she decides to "give back" by volunteering at the same shelter that took her in so long ago. There she meets many girls...more
Now that she's an adult with a career, stable relationship and a good place with her family, she decides to "give back" by volunteering at the same shelter that took her in so long ago. There she meets many girls...more
This book was absolutely one of the best I've read in a long, long time. Honestly, at first I didn't think I would be quite so into it, but as soon as I got past page 10, I couldn't even put it down. I will definitely be reading this author's other books, just as soon as I can get them. I don't want to spoil the story for anyone, but the ending is just so shocking, and I never saw it coming.
In this memoir, the author begins by describing her initially disapointing experience as an idealistic volunteer at a shelter for homeless teens. Those who have worked in social services should be able to relate Erlbaum's experience as a volunteer at the shelter. The author develops an intense friendship with one of the teens from the shelter. Erlbaum's account of this increasingly complex and intense relationship kept me interested enough to read this book in a few days. The plot has an interes...more
An extremely affecting, beautifully written read. I recognized early that the author was searching for something of herself in the pursuit of this friendship; judging her choices was not important because I was very much into the story and read the book in a single sitting. Furthermore, I liked her. I liked her foibles, her intelligence, her humor, her moments of clarity, and her rapport with the girls at the shelter. Anyone who thinks they "know" someone or can "save" or "change" them should re...more
My interest in this book stemmed from the example of homelessness in new york city. However, I think there are several themes in this book that are important in the social work field and reflected some of my own experiences and processes. This memoir is based on an experience of a woman and her relationship that develops with a homeless teen. The woman (Janice) first comes in contact with the girl when she decides to become a volunteer at the shelter she once used as a teen. Despite her relevant...more
Janice, the author, went to volunteer at a homeless shelter for teenage girls, which was Janice's shelter for a few years when she was a teenager. Janice was a looking for a way to give something back, as well as a way to put the past behind her and move on with the good life she had built for herself. Instead she met Samantha, a troubled teenage runaway, and basically fell in love (the non-romantic kind) with her. Sam's problems consumed Janice's life, much to the chagrin of Janice's husband. A...more
What an amazing, amazing book. I had to keep reminding myself that it was about real people!
In this, her second memoir, Janice tells the story of volunteering at the shelter she lived in briefly as a teenage and of meeting Sam. Although the relationship she forms with Sam may ultimately have been good for her, showing her that she had internal strength she would never have guessed out. It makes for a very powerful story.
I think the most interesting part of this book was Janice's honesty about he...more
In this, her second memoir, Janice tells the story of volunteering at the shelter she lived in briefly as a teenage and of meeting Sam. Although the relationship she forms with Sam may ultimately have been good for her, showing her that she had internal strength she would never have guessed out. It makes for a very powerful story.
I think the most interesting part of this book was Janice's honesty about he...more
When Janice Erlbaum (author of Girlbomb) begins volunteering at the shelter where she briefly lived as a teen, she immediately feels a connection to the 18 to 20 year old girls she sees. None, however, touch her heart the way nineteen year old Sam does. Sam, a heroin addict who has been on the streets for seven years, is also a talented writer. Despite rules to the contrary (rules, as the gruff program head reminds Janice, that exist as much to protect the volunteers as the girls), Janice and Sa...more
Have You Found Her: A Memoir is a taut, well-paced examination of one woman� s determination to make a difference in the life of a troubled homeless girl. Former Bust columnist Janice Erlbaum chronicles her experiences working at the New York City homeless shelter where she also spent time as a troubled adolescent. [return][return]Sometimes memoirs dealing with subjects like homelessness, mental illness, and addiction can be a bit overwrought for me, but Erlbaum� s touch is never too heavy. When...more
I greatly enjoyed the author’s first book, Girlbomb, so I thought I’d give this one a try. Have You Found Her is the very unusual true story of a woman who takes a homeless and very ill teenager under her wing, regarding her as a friend and surrogate daughter. Eventually, however, the author discovers the girl is nothing that she had claimed to be. I found this story quite riveting and had a great deal of trouble even putting this book down.
Some reviews have criticized the author’s inability to...more
Some reviews have criticized the author’s inability to...more
Have you found her is a true story about the author going to volunteer at a homeless shelter with teenaged girls, because she'd once stayed there as a teen herself. She emotionally attaches herself to one girl in particular and forms a really weird relationship with her. the rules of the program are that she can't contact the girls, but she does anyway. if i were the people in charge at the shelter i'd be totally freaked out by her actions towards this girl, and they were somewhat, but ultimatel...more
This book was much different than what I was expecting after reading a brief synopsis - and that made it much more interesting! It was intense and exhausting, but not in a bad way. I found it hard to put down and wanted to keep reading to know what happened next because I knew there would be some sort of crisis every other page.
I like to read books about childhood trauma, how to deal with it, and the after effects of such, so that is why I picked this book up at the library. But it was about so...more
I like to read books about childhood trauma, how to deal with it, and the after effects of such, so that is why I picked this book up at the library. But it was about so...more
Shoot. I see that one star and I feel badly. This books was well written, much more so than my usual one star books. The reason for the one star is this is a memoir of the author's intense bond with a young, addicted, homeless woman (Sam), and for that to work for me, I have to care about one or both of these people. The author seemed nice, but strangely (this is a memoir after all) unrevealed. I never felt informed about her own journey with homelessness and addiction, which seems central to he...more
i gotta tell you, the first 1/2 of this book bored me and frustrated me. I felt the author's frustration with trying to help out a person with problems...and it seemed to be repetitive. helping an addict is a frustrating and rarely successful endeavor. I was looking at it through jaded eyes from page one.
but as i moved onto it the author starts to realize what i already know. And as she realizes and learned the person she was trying to help, i felt satisfaction. I understood that she started th...more
but as i moved onto it the author starts to realize what i already know. And as she realizes and learned the person she was trying to help, i felt satisfaction. I understood that she started th...more
Mar 19, 2010
Storm
added it
Have you found her defiantly surprised me! The beginning was exactly what I was craving and I was happy to find Janice back at the shelter helping out her community. I could see why she wanted so badly to find herself in one of these girls. She wanted to re-do her childhood and help that someone, because she didn't get help when she really needed it. When she found Sam I knew something was fishy about the whole situation. I couldn't quit put my finger on it at the middle of the book, but I event...more
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I loved this book. The writing itself is great; very smooth prose and relatable voice, but the actual plot of this story is just unbelievable, and Ms.Erlbaum's insight into her own experiences as she interacted with this very unusual young woman is amazing -- and her writing is painfully honest. I am going to be recommending this to all my little psych-lettes as a way to understand what borderline people are really like -- and how involving it is to be friends with one.
What else can I say? I fin...more
What else can I say? I fin...more
This book was given to me very thoughtfully as a birthday present. At first it was hard to read because the author writes from her own experience helping troubled teens and her difficulty with setting boundaries was so hard to "watch." I admired her genuineness. After a while the book was impossible to put down. It was so engaging. By the end, she had grown amazingly. Now I recommend the book to graduate students and encourage them to read the whole way through so we can discuss the author's exp...more
I really enjoyed this book. As any story dealing with teen addicts, it was expectedly heartbreaking. I can't blame Janice a bit for getting so attached to Sam. The twist at the end was shocking, though I felt I should have seen it coming all along. I wonder where Samantha is now, but I guess that's part of the sadness of these stories. I definitely understand Janice's need to be free of it all though, that was so much to handle. Eye opening book, & I can't wait to read Girlbomb, which was ho...more
In Have You Found Her, Janice Erlbaum has written a fine a memoir with all the trappings of a novel. As a kid, Erlbaum fled her home only to find herself in the New York City shelter system. By her mid-thirties, having reconciled with her parents and attained some measure of success in her life, Janice decides it is time to return to the shelter where she once resided to volunteer and give back to the place that helped her when she most needed it. In the mist of of her volunteering, Janice meets...more
eh....
the ending could have been so much better. Like, she spent all this time building up this interesting story about a girl savant with an incredibly difficult like, and then, it's almost like she got sick of writing about her, and so just tacked on an ending that seemed short and out of place.
I understand it's a memoir and that you kind of have to tell things how they happened, I just felt like too much was left unfinished. Interesting story though, I wish I could have seen it to a better en...more
the ending could have been so much better. Like, she spent all this time building up this interesting story about a girl savant with an incredibly difficult like, and then, it's almost like she got sick of writing about her, and so just tacked on an ending that seemed short and out of place.
I understand it's a memoir and that you kind of have to tell things how they happened, I just felt like too much was left unfinished. Interesting story though, I wish I could have seen it to a better en...more
This is a memoir about Janice Erlbaum, who returns to the shelter she lived in as a teenager and becomes a volunteer. She is cautioned not to become too close to any of the clients and to maintain strong boundaries, which she fails to do almost immediately. She develops a strong bond with one teenager, Sam, who clearly reminds the author of herself. As she becomes more deeply intertwined in Sam's life, she realizes that maintaining this relationship is more than she bargained for.
The first three...more
The first three...more
Before I start my review I just want to comment on the 1 star review that popped up first for me. The reviewer says that Janice and Sam's relationship isn't fleshed out. I want to say that, in my opinion, the relationship between the two couldn't be more fleshed out. I think the reviewer, for whatever reason, really missed or ignored some valuable parts of the story. It seems as if he or she feels very strongly and didn't like the book for a number of reasons. No problem. I liked it myself. But...more
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Reviewed by coollibrarianchick for TeensReadToo.com
I just finished a book, after running back to the beach because it was mistakenly left there, that I am going to pass on to everyone looking for a good book to read. HAVE YOU FOUND HER by Janice Erlbaum was a gut-wrenching, pull-at-your-heart strings, can't-put-it-down memoir. It actually reads like a novel, a suspenseful one at that, full of plot twists and turns. I finished it in two days. The little blurb I read about it in my local library's...more
I just finished a book, after running back to the beach because it was mistakenly left there, that I am going to pass on to everyone looking for a good book to read. HAVE YOU FOUND HER by Janice Erlbaum was a gut-wrenching, pull-at-your-heart strings, can't-put-it-down memoir. It actually reads like a novel, a suspenseful one at that, full of plot twists and turns. I finished it in two days. The little blurb I read about it in my local library's...more
Apr 09, 2008
Khaya
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
NCSY advisors
Shelves:
memoirs,
thought-provoking
Anyone who's thinking of going into kiruv, or doing other work with teenagers (especially disadvantaged ones), should read this book, especially if they have the capacity for honest self-reflection.
This highly readable memoir describes a successful graduate of a teen homeless shelter who goes back to the shelter twenty years later to volunteer, ostensibly for altruistic reasons, but is actually propelled by a subconscious desire to find a teen who reminds her of her former self and be a hero to...more
This highly readable memoir describes a successful graduate of a teen homeless shelter who goes back to the shelter twenty years later to volunteer, ostensibly for altruistic reasons, but is actually propelled by a subconscious desire to find a teen who reminds her of her former self and be a hero to...more
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it,
click here.
I'm at the bitter stage of life where I resist reading memoirs by people somewhere around my age, simply for that self-involved reason that they've written it and I haven't. I'm so glad that "Have You Found Her" landed in my mailbox and broke me out of this sad, jealous, self-limitation. I read this energetic, flowing narrative in two sittings, and was so struck by the honesty of Janice Erlbaum's story and its compelling ideas of change and growth that I'm re-examining my own resistance to writi...more
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